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December 13, 2019 5:00 am
Are you and I can do job you know the kind of job you can do without the you really don't like it back. Maybe even despise it. But you know pays and keeps things going on ask you is that what you want your child or would you like them to discover what God made them to do and find a job. If so, state welcome to this Friday edition of living on the drift.
Your finger tips are vital to future others international discipleship that your brother of series priceless Christmas. Over the past couple of weeks.
He's given us five priceless gift. I will bless you and your family be on December any of these programs this entire series is available on the roadmap of today's message is loaded with a lot of detail just before we get started, let me encourage you to try using chips message notes while you listen for a quick download when you go to LivingontheEdge.org just click listen now bullets Deutsche Welle for part two of this message.
Teach them to work unto the Lord. These are just real practical ways to help your kids learn from Colossians 323 and the practice.
By the way there certain verses like every child needs to memorize obviously basic ones on salvation and basic ones on prayer, but you need to have them memorize one on suffering one on decisions and one on work and that this would be a good one.
But here's for specific things when they're young give them jobs growing up.
I mean two years old. Let them help set the table, three and four years old. Let them help you make the beds five and six-year-olds and make the bed on their own 78-year-old to get the help in the kitchen nine-year-old get to take out the garbage. I mean, give them jobs, given jobs, given jobs, more and more and more and more about the way this is what's amazing when they get older they don't want to work at all when there is little more than was what can I help you, can I help you.
What I don't know why because it's a hassle right they mess everything up, but they want to be with you all that study all that stuff.
Even here about self-esteem you want your kids have great self-esteem.
Self-esteem doesn't come by sitting on the bench of some little game and getting a trophy thing and saying you're a winner self-esteem, by confidence of you learning to accomplish certain things and overcoming challenges the way you learn that is my responsibility the way you get responsibilities you get jobs little kid to think had I did what will the forks go here, here okay now you try great job. Good effort and then later on what they get older. Right at 10 or 11, they don't take out the trash, they don't help with anything will then then you teach them discipline through work member Mike my one son he had the gift of forgetfulness. Seriously he was. He was sincere. She could be in his job.
I may like everyone had their jobs.
Like his job with the trash every day and every day he'd forget and so you know I fell into the bad parenting patterns that you all know don't work but I did it to nag nag nag nag nag nag get upset, get upset, get intense after your upset never works. So finally after trying everything I said to my youngest son sits on your having trouble remembering to take out the trash. It's the only job you have when you get home correct.
Yes. Okay, I'm can help you all think that here's what were to do. I'm home 530 and at 530 when I walk in the door if the trash is done, you get to eat supper. If the trash isn't done, you get to skip supper because I want to help you learn the self-discipline of learning to take out the trash minutes is likely done this 19 times and sincere. Sorry I forgot I forgot I forgot substitute homework calling get parents. Does anybody have a job where if you don't follow up.
Don't follow through.
Don't call in don't care things that they don't keep paying you and ask you to go take some other job.
All of us right where you think you kids to learn that and so course, I knew what was in happen. I don't know if it was planned.
It couldn't been hysteresis to merciful, but so we had pizza that was a real treat. In those days we could really afford you know anything special and so were all set Nana Ryan's bicycle ride is a trash. All I forgot that I said oh I am so sorry still not down on that nagging on that as I am so sorry Ryan you can be excused will would mean will member will not need to do so I said I'll bet you remember the trash tomorrow hello dad dad dad I promise I promise promising things okay tomorrow in the course tree so you know were clearing the dishes. Should I give him a piece. No, don't you get something know he will not starve to death. He'll learn heat heat. He forgot twice and it's amazing the self motivating. Grace kicked in when we provided some loving consequences. So number one given jobs number two feed them responsibility, feed them responsibility. I see I see parents that are totally worn out, put in all the things here do not you got kids at 12 1314 why should you be doing laundry. Why should they do their own. What why why her parents shaking kids. You have to get up you have to get up there 14 or 15 years old by them alarm if they miss, they miss if they miss the test they miss the test if they get a low grade to get a low grade you are way more committed to their success than they are and what they feel is pressure from you what you want is kids that can get better self-discipline that work well, but Hannah responsibility not necessarily have high SAT scores. But don't get great scores if you teach them. Here's what we do we take care of everything for.
I've seen parents completely here about the kids playing video games dinner almost ready. I'm thinking what's wrong with this picture. Third is require excellent work and help them develop a work ethic. Yes, this sounds crazy, but you know when you have them vacuum because they help vacuum right they clean out the garage. They clean their room and you do the deal where you can lift up the rug and you realize how you didn't go to the rug and I said will no one looks here he says are you doing this for people forgot he sees everything out ship you're pushing it too far, maybe I would say when I look at my children probably one of the greatest links to all their success in every job. You know what they learned at home. They learn how to work and working to the Lord and in the end they learned some of them had to learn it doesn't have to be so perfect we had help them and others had to learn that's not close do it again number four. Help them to work for an audience of one. It's it's about attitude and often they're not. You have a good attitude. Early on, help help them begin to say my kids heard this verse into what was coming out with their ears. I know that it's an audience of one work unto the Lord. That's right if someday you can be an engineer unto the Lord, or musician unto the Lord, or a mom unto the Lord, or construction worker unto the Lord, or own your own company unto the Lord, and you know what if you learned early on that this is his and you do it on to him. There's a level of excellence and a level of integrity that your actual work will be a testimony for God because I will tell you most people do their work and what they're trying to figure out is how fast can I get it done. How little can I do and how much can I get paid for doing as little as possible and when you don't work like that. You stand out when Christians work like that. What a testimony so the priceless gift you want to give them is learning what you were made to do. That's the gift you want to give your kids learning what you were made to do what I want you as you listen, I want you to think I've got some plans to make for the new year.
One of my plans.
One of my priorities needs to be how a mother to teach my children to work and to the Lord and the only way to do that is you need to figure out what their design is you need to understand how did God make him their wired their intricately made their wonderfully made their wonderful they may not be like you at all, but I will tell you there exactly the way God wants them, they have certain spiritual gifts that have certain passions.
I have certain aptitudes have certain personalities they've already had some experiences that some of been great. Some of them not so great. It's what you want to do is you want to figure out what's the shape of my child so they can put your arm around them and coach them toward the thing that he's made them to do. Does that make sense so I'm getting give you some ways to do that in some resources, helping them discover God's calling for their life involves the shape the essence for spiritual gifts water. There's your kids know what their spiritual gifts are my youngest son didn't like the work that's Ryan but I will tell you what he had this uncanny spiritual gift from the time he was nine or 10 years old.
I still remember there was a window outside of our garage returned to garage into a bedroom and outside was it was a window and I was doing the work in in my boys bedroom and I could hear through the window and and right is like eight or nine years old and this is a neighbor kid this like eight years old and Ryan is articulating the gospel as clearly as Billy Graham is ever set it nine years old and then he turns to this little eight-year-old says are you ready to receive Christ and the little kid bows his head and I'm thinking many are you kidding me now. He didn't like math did like science but but I I saw he had a spiritual gift, but by the time he was 10 years old. Ryan, you gotta get ready for school on my quiet time yet. I'm reading the Bible.
It's too interesting not. It had a problem with all my kids but here we had this and I remember when he was senior in high school he led for the six guys on the volleyball team to Christ and then invite him over and they have a Bible study in the house is pretty small so there was nowhere to go so trees I would go back in her bedroom and I can still remember I put up the pillows and enough paperthin doors and we lean like this and we listen to Ryan teach bethinking where secant and the stuff please not get I mean hot.
I know that but what I understood was he hated school. It help me later on understand why he needed to work for a year so we could learn some discipline, but he needed to go to school.
I mean he read CS Lewis.
He read. I gave him theology volumes and he would read them and write reports for me, but he didn't do his homework is completely unmotivated in school, but you start cooperating did I keep working with the school stuff. Yes, that's why had to work for year I made him pay for his first semester you're thinking this guy is so heartless why I had six years in a row of him not being faithful to do what he said is going to do in school. It's not again member manager money. Well, it's not my money. I told Ryan said your first masters can be about 10 grand.
What I know is you never put 26 weeks together for the last six years. So what if it's God's money and I put 10 grand down and then you blow it in college.
You're disappointed. I'm sad $10,000 of God's money's gone so you can work for years. Save eight or $10,000 you pay for the first semester.
If you do okay the first semester that all chip in and will will go stuff and that's what he did. I mean the guy begin acing Greek, but he he only had to take like three or four we went to Bible school. He only had take like three classes were there was English map and something of course classic. He procrastinated to senior year he didn't take any of those classes, but he needed to graduate. So here's this kid that quote can't study on discipline he goes in gives three books figures out what's in them studies for three weeks and claps out of all three classes see your kids are designed and motivated certain what you want to cooperate with that. Discussed help them discover their spiritual gift is obviously was in the area of teaching in the Bible.
Second is heart.
Where is your passion, your desire what what a dream about what what your kids passions about who I don't spiritualize everything I have one had one son early on it was music music music many crazy there was a band in our living room and there's a band in the garage and it was abandoned abandon of and move it on.
You know, and we didn't have we had. I was committed not to go in debt. We had very little money, but I saw this passion and this gift growing and growing and growing and I never forget I went to a worship pastor. The time his name was Dana very good friend.
I said Dana we got this old clunky bad bad piano. The they stick in my son. I think there might be some gift here and I want to cooperate with it and he convinced me he said pianos increase in values lot like your house if you get a decent one so I still remember it was like $5000 Yamaha piano.
I remember when my son came home and he wrote his first song on that and now people were singing that kid songs all around the world all around the world and for Christmas after 25 years. We ship that piano and he has it in his studio where he and the likes of Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman, Ruben Morgan and all these guys write all these worship songs to hang out together. Why because you discover where their passions are and then you cooperate with it and let's see that's our job work were coaches or helpers, but is not so they land this job and go to this school get these grades so that it reflects like were good people. Our job is to help them figure out what God made him to do not want what will make us look good by the way, that's really sought on the down on anybody. I felt the same pressures. Third, is thereafter to what is a good at what I get it. Member early on if you haven't seen the little book strength finders at your kids probably are 12, 13 and up. I remember when Annie went through that and wow you could see what her strength find this is what she's good at and then you begin to gear but let's let's let a major and do things what they're good at and how they're made. Same as with personality. How are they wired how they relate to people.
I mean you can take the disk test of the MMPI. There's so many resources and many of them are online there free. Do you ever think about this is apparent mean some of your employers in your business and you know you do all these test to figure out with this employee fit in this job.
What about your son or your daughter once you give them some tests. Once you meet with them. Once you observe them want to start keeping a journal with each one of you kids and think this is what they're good at. Here's their aptitudes. Here's what I think their spiritual gifts you want to create a grid where you're like this coach.
You're the student of your son or your daughter and you're watching this masterpiece develop and what you want to do is learn more and more and more and more in the line that masterpiece so they do what God made them to do.
E is for experience.
What have they done well and they enjoyed what have they done well and they enjoyed Ascom go out for couple coffee or coke and just ask him what have you done that you think you've really done well that you really enjoy it.
So then you get there shape.
You begin to see their their spiritual gifts, their heart, their aptitudes are personality their experience and then that we sometimes will have some big decisions and there there just they're just like us, they're just people so there pulled in the pulled this direction of that direction. So, as a wise counselor what you want to do is you think will. This is your shape. You remind we always need someone in her life that pulls us back to this is who you are because all of us are tempted to take the job. Where there's fame or ego or money or applause and by the way, if a job brings that fine but a lot of people are doing jobs for the wrong reason. And then if you're not made for you don't like. I member Annie shortly after college had an opportunity to work for two different organizations.
One was a start up where she would get to shake things lead things and cut have a lot of responsibility make it happen.
The other was an organization that was huge and very well known and would've been a real feather in your cap to get to work for that organization very very high-class organization, and she wrestled with that and you know those are times to her as a parent to step back so you know, pray about it. Glad but what I remember was thinking this is a personality. These are her strengths. She's going to be about seven person down on the pecking order that organization and the smaller startup she's gonna get to shape it was everything I could do to not tell her what she ought to do that so hard, but I cut a step back and just tried to remind her. Okay, how are you wired, I mean this is part of the Ingram tradition and it's not all good, but when they step in a room they want to say this is what it's and that's good and bad, but what you don't want to be you want you want to have leadership gift inside of you and feel like you just never have a chance to exercise so for you and for specially for kids figure out the design and then get aligned with.
She ended up taking the job with the smaller organization moved up quickly shake things is really exciting see why she was made to do that. Second, encourage them to get honest, wise counsel about who they are and where they fit to move forward. Who are they wise counsel. You know you you want the children's pastor the youth pastor the parent they look up to something in their areas of interest. You want them to get wise counsel in a multitude of counsel or safety, whether they ask questions and can ask someone you know what should I do I member my son Eric really didn't want to do with his life and he took one class he took one class in biology it in a study the skeleton of the human body, and he came in he said dad this is unbelievable. Do you realize how God made the body as it will not really, but pretty cool it and I remember there was a Diana Roberts was a physical therapist and she offered to let Eric volunteer and he begin to volunteer and see how the human body worked that was pivotal to him becoming physical therapist. He loves it. He's been exploring and seeing how we can repair rotator cuffs and ACL's and people had hip replacements and see them where they could walk with the get the walk he gets to be hands of healing. Third, help and be willing to move out of their comfort zone to fulfill their divine purpose and I would add in yours sometimes you have to say you really do need to take the AP courses because you got what it takes and I know it's harder sometimes you need to say you know something I know you kinda like it here and all your friends are here all your friends going that school. But you know something that's really not what's best for you. Not designed for that. You're just caving in to peer pressure and sometimes gotta take you out of your comfort zone. My one son came to me in the middle of college said to me you know what I'm called to do music I hate school.
I'm getting nothing out of it.called me to be a musician. That's what I'm going to do what both parents were schoolteachers. I was a schoolteacher. Education is like sacred and I member single son, you know, he was the honest dad was probably won't make it in music. Few people do you have a good backstop to get a real job and that the music thing works out fine so I was sort of couching that and I'll still remember we were in the kitchen.
I can tell you right where he standing the kitchen picture behind him and I'm over here in front of like the refrigerator hey dad who's the person who said follow your dreams. Step out and make a difference.
Dream big dreams. I don't know. I do remember that person you know how many literally quoted like one of my sermons because if I identify you know what I go back to college. Unmotivated, but this is what I want to do with my life and I remember saying you know you're a grown man that's what you're called to do and we did that he drove a muffin truck trying to figure out how to make things work for about six months in Music and eventually kinda went back and he decided that he would finish out that little bit of college and then you know he did crazy stuff. He just moved to Nashville and everyone said you know there's busboys it are better musicians than you because I know that that is what God called me to do and I'm in.
He drove a UPS truck and he sold T-shirts out of the back of things and he just had this little gal that would do whatever. I'm more impressed with college. I think I him Jason the following, but there is a point in time where we need to stop asking what's the most secure place for kids, and what's most financially best decision they can make and start asking like the short, what did God make him to do and I can cooperate, helping them discover God made them to do. The world screams you are what you do and God says no.
The truth is, do what you are.
The message alive messages.
You were created to Craig.
It's good you created to work. Help them discover their Ephesians 210, right if you're just joining us, you're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and ships message today. Teach them to work unto the Lord is from his series of priceless Christmas in this series strip unpacks five key life skills that tend to make or break us and gives us biblical insight and practical steps for passing all of these key skills to our kids or grandkids. Or maybe someone or mentoring in these five messages you learn what God's word says about handling money making wise choices suffering well. Working unto the Lord, and that failure is never final. As a parent or grandparent you want to give your child every advantage in life. This series of priceless Christmas gives you the tools you need to help your child develop godly character in all of these areas. So why not order a set of CDs or download the free MP3s as a gift to yourself and your family for an amazing new year of growth in the Lord for discount details just visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003, a priceless Christmas.
Get it today will Chip I know you got a great application for today but before we get to that. What would you single parent or grandparent who really wants to do a good job but is struggling for clear thought about what to do next. Great question Dave.
You know, I know there's a lot of parenting resources out there, but I think embedded in a lot of the Christian thinking, even in good parenting resources is that we want to make our kids happy and successful. We want them to get great jobs find the right person make a lot of money, and underneath it all is that we want them to be happy and I got news for you. That focus creates entitled children. The five things that we talk about in a priceless Christmas is giving them what money can't buy it's learning to suffer well because we know hard things are coming. It's learning to make wise choices because God is holy is learning to manage your money unto the Lord, so that you recognize that you are steward instead of an owner it's recognizing that grace filled lives that failure is never final. All of our kids, all of her grandkids and just like us, they're going to fail. But do they know who God is. Did they know how like Peter to be restored and realize God can still use your life when you blow it big time.
These are the kind of core truths that I think in the heart of your child in the heart of your grandchild will sustain them because here's the deal. God longs for them to be godly and holy and pure and the byproduct will be joyful and happy. But these things are hard to teach and so in each message I give you a theology of suffering or work or money or decision-making and then I give you practical ways about how to teach them and then a game plan to do it and let me remind you that today is the last day to take advantage of this series discounts so let me encourage you think about your kids Inc. about your grandkids and turn your good intention to action and order it today, but strip well.
It's tough to absorb this amount of great teaching only one time through, so getting this series on CD or downloading the chipping roadmap are two ways to hear these messages again and again. Remember, the MP3s are free, so make good on your intentions and take advantage of these resources today. You can order online that LivingontheEdge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will now here strip with a final thought as we wrap up today's program and actually we wrap up the entire series. There's just a couple of things I want to make sure that you get. I realize there's times where I talk really really fast and I give you tons and tons of information, especially if you're driving in your car on that treadmill or there's kids in the backseat you're going all my guys.
She said so much and set it so fast, especially about discovering your child's shape. I gave you an acronym for SH a PE about really becoming a student of your child in understanding how did God make that little one or not so little one that you love so much. So let me encourage you to go to our website Living on the Edge all one word LivingontheEdge.org and download the message notes that are easy to find and that acronym and all that will be there and then I would suggest you do something, and this would be a great family devotional think one of the things as I observed my kids.
I found that that the culture kept pushing them that you're a somebody if you do this, or if you do that or the media would say this or say that and what I wanted to do was impart in them.
This is how God gifted you and if he gifted you and put some passions and desires and you. That is probably going to tell you his purpose for your life more clearly than anything else. One of her most popular series is called your divine design has a workbook you can stream that you can get DVDs but is just a four-part series, but it literally helps a person with the Bible alone to discover this is how God gifted me this is my motivational gift. My ministry gifts and when they discover how God gifts them.
They get a big clue about how God wants to use them. Let me encourage you as a parent, be the student, if your child and try to discern what he wants to do with their life rather than what they want or what you think would make them happy and I will tell you this years down the road you be very grateful. The message notes.
Chip just mentioned are a quick download when you go to LivingontheEdge.org and just click the broadcasts tab in his series your divine design is available on the website. When you click more, and group studies will just before we close all to say thank you to those who make this broadcast possible through your generous financial support of you found today's program helpful but have never supported us financially. There's never been a better time than right now. When you give a gift to Living on the Edge it will be matched dollar for dollar, thanks to some very generous friends of the ministry making a donation is easy just go to LivingontheEdge.org and click the donate button on our homepage. We can always give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. That's 1-888-333-6003 on behalf of Chip and the whole team. Thank you in advance for your generosity. Well, I hope you'll join us again on Monday when she begins a new series. Good to great. Gaza. Until then, this is the thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge