Caring Enough to Confront - A Biblical Perspective of Sex and Sexuality, Part 1

A lot of people when they hear the words the Bible and sex think old-fashioned, oppressive, maybe taboo or wrong. I've got news for you. God invented sex.

But of all the areas when I meet Christians that are ignorant, that absolutely don't know what the Bible says about sex, about beauty, about intimacy, about that intent, they're missing out. Stay with me. That's what we're going to learn today. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission of these daily programs is to intentionally disciple Christians through the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. And in just a minute, we'll continue our series, Caring Enough to Confront, as we dive into another vital issue that Christians have to be absolutely clear on, especially with what our culture believes and teaches. So Chip's here with me now to tell us where we're going today. Thanks, Dave.

I could not be more excited about the issues we're going to cover for the next few broadcasts. I've asked a very close friend, Tim Lunday, who worked for me for about four or five years at Venture Christian Church, a fabulous communicator. I taught about half the time. He taught the other half of the time. He's led major churches. And when I left Venture, I was so excited, Tim became the new pastor. And so for the last five years, Tim took over where I left off.

It's so exciting what's happened to the church. We live in a part of the country that is very progressive, very hostile to the gospel, and Tim did a series on sexuality, on transgender, on homosexuality from a pastor's heart in the midst of a very confusing world. And today I've asked Tim to share with us, what does the Bible say about sexuality? And then I'll be back to share a few thoughts that I think will be very helpful.

Sounds good, Chip. Well, Tim has a lot of insightful wisdom to share, so let's join him now for his message, A Biblical Perspective of Sex and Sexuality. I feel like we have such a lack of biblical theology when it comes to sex that if we don't lay some foundation, we're just diving into issues. And so we're going to cover each of these points pretty quickly because I'm trying to cover a breadth today.

And so even as I say that, there'll be a point that you go, oh, Tim, you could have talked about or should have talked about that so much more. I would just say out of the beginning, as Christians, our approach to sex and gender must be marked by grace and truth. It's got to be marked by grace and truth. One of the things I love about Jesus when he was here, this marked his life.

I love how John puts it. He said, the word became flesh and dwelt among us. When God lived here, we've seen his glory.

We saw how awesome God is. And so when we watch how Jesus interacted with people, it gives us some understanding of how we approach these issues. And it's interesting to me when you read through the gospels, one of the things that was said about Jesus often is that he is friends with sex workers.

He's friends with people who struggle with all these issues. It's just amazing to me, this combination, the holiest person who ever walked on the planet lived in a way that some of the most broken people felt comfortable around him. And I think this is important because if you look at the history of the church, for a number of years, the pendulum swung so far over here to almost a graceless approach to these issues. That people that struggled, people that are hurt, didn't feel like church was ever the place you could even talk about it, much less be open about your own life in it. People that have been hurt by it.

Maybe you've been hurt by it. The things that were said, and it's so easy in that to want to judge. Sexual sins are one of the most easy things to point at.

And I think part of it's fueled by our own guilt, maybe in ways, but in other ways, our own fears. I love how Jesus, remember when they brought to him the woman who was caught in adultery. She's clearly in sexual sin. And the crowd came and they want to stone her, they want to kill her, not because they really desired to, they want to trap Jesus more. Remember how Jesus dealt with her? I love the combination of grace and truth, that he looked at all of them and he said, okay, the first one without sin, go ahead and throw your stone. If you want to condemn her, go ahead, if you're without guilt.

And they all kind of drift away. And then Jesus looks at her, and this phrase is so important. He says, does no one condemn you? He says, I don't condemn you. Now go and sin no more. You feel the combination of the grace and truth?

And it's important that you get those phrases in the right order. Because a lot of people think when it comes to these issues, what God is telling us, if you'll go and sin no more, then I won't condemn you. If you'll get your life together sexually, then there's no condemnation. And what you need to hear is, in Christ, it starts with no condemnation. That's what grace is. The grace that's given to a person, I don't condemn you, but, and here's the other side of it, in Christ, he looks at him and says, go and sin no more. He's willing to call the behavior sin.

He's willing to call them out of that life and lifestyle. See, as much as the pendulum has swung over here when it comes to grace, I think also we're living in an age where the pendulum's gone the other way, where we're scared to talk about the truth. And we're scared to say it explicitly, and we're scared to say what the Bible says about it.

And we think in a way that's the loving thing to do, and I don't want to do that. And yet, what did Jesus say about the truth? Look how Jesus put it. Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, if you abided my word, if you obey me, you're truly my disciples, you'll know the truth, and the truth will set you free. And I think in the church, we've gotten to the point that we're so scared of saying the wrong thing, that we'd rather not say anything. And in that fear, we've pulled back, and we're allowing ourselves, but especially the next generation, to be discipled in the ideology of the world on these issues.

I am praying, I want to do this in a way that's full of grace, that no matter where you're coming from, no matter what you're struggling with, I am so thankful you're here. Because I think it begins in Jesus, no matter where you are. It begins with a God who approaches us with no condemnation. But in the same way, I think the Bible speaks truth. And hearing that truth, depending where you are, can be really painful at times. It can be painful maybe for your own life, or someone you love that's really struggling with these issues. And you feel their pain. And we've been so conditioned that as soon as we feel pain, we automatically assume, well, this is painful, what they're saying must be wrong.

I don't want to increase anyone's pain, but I want you to experience freedom. And Jesus has said explicitly his truth, his word, brings freedom. And so as we walk through this, how do we always approach with the grace of God, but how do we speak with the truth that people need to hear?

Because Jesus loved us enough that he not only brought truth, he spoke truth. And as we go, some of these core principles are going to seem pretty basic. We're going to spend a lot of time looking at passages in Genesis. And part of the reason for that is by design, the Genesis stories are the metanarratives. They're the story that explains life. Every culture has metanarrative stories that explain how we got here, stories that explain life, the myths of those cultures. They're larger than life stories.

And Genesis has those same qualities. Now when I use that term, I don't say that like, oh, they're myths, they didn't really happen. I love how C.S. Lewis describes it.

C.S. Lewis was an expert, by the way, in myths and stories. And as he studied it as a non-believer, he looked at it and he goes, man, this is the beauty of the Bible. These are myths, they're larger than life stories that actually happened. They're true. And that's why they speak so much to our life that we go, oh, I understand how we got where we are.

So what do we see in these stories? Let me walk through some principles with you. All humans are designed by God as sexual beings, all of us. Whether you're married, whether you're not married, you're a sexual being.

Doesn't mean everybody has sexual activity, but all humans are sexual beings. When he created us, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. This connection with male and female and man and woman from the beginning, they were created in that way.

God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth. Part of their core command is they're supposed to have sex so they can fill the earth with image bearers. They're never going to be able to carry that out unless he created them in a way that they are sexual beings.

And not only that, they're designed in a way to be partners together to have dominion over the earth, dominion to rule, to shape the planet for God's glory. And so both man and woman, male and female are brought together in that. Now, as I use those terms, we've separated those in ways when man and woman refers to sex in our culture today, and male and female refer to gender.

We'll dive into how do we talk about these terms from a biblical mindset. But I just say at the beginning, all of us are designed as sexual beings. Now, sometimes we don't treat anyone other than married people as sexual beings. We talk about sex in church and it's for married people and the rest of you, well, you just kind of figure it out.

And so part of it is recognizing, now the Bible speaks to all of us. As we look at this, the second thing, sex as designed by God is very good. After Adam and Eve are there on that last day of creation, as God looked at it, he saw it all and he said, it's all good.

Not just good, very good. And this is right after Adam and Eve have seen each other for the first time and he's created them. And so I just say that because sometimes we don't say this enough in church, sex is very good. It's a very good part of God's creation.

And as I say this for young people, God's the one who came up with it. He's not weirded out by it. He's not like ashamed of it.

It's not this dirty little secret for him. He's like, no, this is core design. It's a core part of it.

And so as a young person, especially as you start, you go through puberty, you go through life with that and you suddenly have these desires and this attraction and all that. That's part of the design that God has made and it's good. He knows that.

He knows this is going to be a powerful force in your life. He knows this is going to be something that according to his design, doesn't mean he designed to all people to get married, but according to his design, even self-control and sexuality is a good thing. I was never really a fan of the whole purity culture. And there's a lot of people that they've struggled as a result of.

And you say, what are you talking about? There was a movement, because sometimes as parents, in our efforts to want to raise young people to stay pure, and again, it was all out of good intentions of how do we protect our young people so that they save themselves until marriage? Because that is God's design. But somewhere along the way, it's almost like in that protection and the purity of the good thing there, sex becomes this bad thing and this taboo thing and dating is a bad thing because anything can lead to sex. And instead of teaching self-control, it's almost a culture of just let's condemn sex until marriage and heard from a lot of people that have stepped forward and said, I kind of was taught as long as you save yourself and then you get married, then everything's going to be fine sexually. And it's not true for a lot of people. And then they struggle with it.

And they almost feel like, wait, it was a bait and switch. We need to, as a church, as people, with young people, with adults, with single adults, that we talk about this in an open way where people are struggling, where they're learning in it, because it is such an important part of life. And so I encourage you that as we talk about it, we learn together. The human body is very important to God. God made bodies.

Sometimes we so emphasize the spiritual life, we don't emphasize our human bodies. Look at the time he spent forming the body. You realize he formed the body before he gave the spirit, before he breathed life into it?

Look at it. The Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. The man became a living creature and the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east. And there he put the man whom he had formed. God literally reaches in the dirt and does a sculpture and creates a human. And then out of the man, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall over the man. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up the space of flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into woman. That word made literally means fashioned. It wasn't just like, okay, let's slap something together. It's like fashioned the woman and brought her to the man.

Now, just think about this for a moment. Everything in creation, all the beauty of creation, all the great things we've seen, all of it he spoke into existence except those who would bear his image. And he cared enough about their bodies that he stops. He literally forms the man. He fashions the woman. At a foundational level, your body matters to God. What you do with your body matters to God.

You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Pastor Tim Lundy is our guest teacher today. And before he continues his message, I want to quickly remind you that we are a listener-supported ministry. Your regular gifts help us create programs like this one, develop new resources, and encourage pastors globally. Prayerfully consider becoming a monthly partner today. Then go to livingontheedge.org to give a gift.

And thanks so much for your support. Well, with that, here again is Pastor Tim Lundy. All of us were made for relationships and companionship. So when Adam was alone, God looks and everything's good except for one thing.

Then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. I will make a partner.

Fit means corresponds. In other words, I'm going to bring a partner to him to bring what he cannot bring. And together, they're going to be able to fulfill the command.

Remember the command? Fill the earth and rule the earth. And you need both of them to do both. And so he says, I bring this partnership out of that. Now, that's how he fulfilled it with Adam. But in the world today, that's not how he fulfills it with everyone. Not everyone's called to be married.

But here's what I would highlight. None of us were called to be alone. And why do I say that? Because remember we were created in image of a relational God. And so God's always been a relationship.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have always loved each other and known each other. And so when we're created in his image, there's a core part of us that longs to love and to be known and to be in relationship. Now, marriage is one way of fulfilling that relational need, but it's not the only way. And I think it would be really important for those of us who are married, we look at our friends who are maybe single adults. If you talk to a lot of them, they would say, you know what I long for the most? I miss the relationship.

I miss companionship. I want to be known in life. And it's one of the reasons the church should be the one to lean into this the most. We are the only group on the planet. We're the only organism on the planet that have been united by the Holy Spirit so that relationally we open up our lives, we open up our homes, we create companionship that isn't just marriage-based.

And it's important for those of us who are in a marriage to look around and go, how am I doing that? How am I fulfilling that in the way that Christ designed? God's design for sex is for a man and a woman and a lifetime commitment of marriage.

Let me say this explicitly. This is God's design. This is what scripture teaches.

And you see it from the beginning. When Adam and Eve came together, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. That one flesh connection, it's talking about sex is a part of that. It's core way of consummating that marriage.

The man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed. There's no shame in it. There's openness. There's vulnerability. Now, some have looked at this and they said, well, okay, yeah, of course that was the Garden of Eden.

Everything was perfect. Is that still the standard for today? If you look through the Bible, when Jesus talked about marriage, look how Jesus described it because they were talking to him about divorce. They said, can't we divorce?

Divorce was very prevalent in his day. And so they said, shouldn't we be free to divorce? And Jesus said, well, let's go back to God's design. But from the beginning of creation, notice what Jesus is telling us. Hey, why don't you go back to the first stories? Why don't you go back to how God launched it?

Why don't you go back to the original design so you can learn from it? God made them male and female. So he's emphasizing in a marriage, it's man and a woman, male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. So he's quoting that verse again. And then he says, so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. So Jesus even adds to it. He says, hey, this is the standard, learn from the beginning and what God's brought together, you hold fast to that.

And I just say this because you'll hear a lot of people today when they talk about this, they want to redefine it. And guys, God said it pretty clearly and explicitly. And he designed sex to be between a man and a woman in that lifetime commitment of marriage. Why? Because God's anti-sex?

No. Remember, he's the one that created it. He knows how it's designed. He knows how it's most fulfilling. He knows what's important about it.

And he knows the context that he created it for. And as you look at this, and especially how sex is today in our culture and it's used everywhere, you know, I think of God's response to what we've done to it. And I think we always picture God mad. I think God's sad, if anything. Because he knows how beautiful it is.

He knows what a gift it is. It'd be like, let's say I was a bajillionaire, had money to burn, and I wanted to bless you. And I said, you know what, do you like art? And you go, oh, we love art. I go, I want to give you a piece of fine art. I mean, a world-class piece like a Monet Water Lilies or Van Gogh's Starry Night. I love Starry Night by Van Gogh.

You know, they sell for 80, 90 million upwards even now. If I had the ability and I gave you that piece of art and I go, this is my gift to you. And then a couple of weeks later, I come over to your house. And as I'm walking into your house, I look down and you're using the Van Gogh as a doormat. I mean, I'd be shocked. I'd be like, hey, what are you doing here? And then if you looked at me and said, oh, oh, you're one of those strict art people. Art has to be on the wall, has to be in a frame. You can't touch it. We're very free with our art.

We're more open than you are. Your categories are too limited. I would walk away frustrated, I'd admit it, but really sad that you've taken this thing that's so beautiful and as you've lowered the standards, you're actually destroying it. And the problem with sex is it's so powerful. It's not just what you do to it, it's what it's doing to you as well. So God designed it.

He said, it's in this context for a couple together. Human sexuality was impacted and distorted by sin. We recognize the fall. When sin came into the world, it impacted how we treat each other and it impacted our sex lives. It impacted how we think. It impacted for some people their sense of attraction. It impacted identity in different ways.

Sin has this distorting effect with it. Look at it from the very beginning, right after Adam and Eve committed sin. Then the eyes of both of them were open. They knew that they were naked. That's the first thing they know about themselves.

Isn't that interesting? They look at each other and they go, whoa, I feel vulnerable. They sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. They heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. They suddenly feel this nakedness.

They feel this shame. They feel a need and notice this, and I think it runs true whenever there's sexual sin in our lives, a need to hide from God, to be away from him. Notice what God does. But the Lord God called to the man and said, where are you? He said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid, there's fear connected, because I was naked and I hid myself.

Remember when I told you these meta narratives, they explain life. Man, does this not describe how all of us respond in different ways when there's sexual sin or we struggle? And God said to him, who told you that you were naked?

Have you eaten of the tree which I commanded you not to eat? Here's one of the things I love about the Bible. The Bible's not shy about talking about sex and sexual sin. I mean, if you start just in Genesis, start at the beginning of Genesis from this point forward and look how many times sexual sin shows up even in the first 25 chapters of Genesis. Some of you sitting here, maybe you're struggling with something in your life. And your immediate response is exactly like Adam and Eve.

There's a part of you that's terrified that if anybody knows this about me, it's part of you that's ashamed. And here's one of the number one lies that the enemy wants you to believe, that God is sitting there just so mad at you waiting for you to get your act together, waiting for you to clean up your life. And yet, go back to the first story. What is God doing in that story? He's looking for him.

He goes and finds him. Even in their shame, even in their nakedness, even in their rebellion, even in their sin, God is a God who looks for us. And even in the middle of that, he makes a promise to them that through your seed, through sex, through a baby that will come, will be a savior. There's a hope and there's redemption.

Before we go any further, I want to pause for just a minute. Most of the people I know, unless you grew up in a wonderful Christian home and someone taught you some really good things from an early age, we all have had some very warped views of sex. And for most of us, we've made some mistakes, and some of them very significant. And as you heard the teaching today, as we were trying to just give you, this is what the Bible says, and this is the beauty, and this is what God wants, I know for many, the experience was, I've blown it. I'm one of those people that have done things I know were really wrong, and I've tried to convince myself they were okay, and I feel so far from God and shameful.

Here's what I want you to know. God did not have you listen to this program today to make you feel bad or shamed or like bring up things in your past in your mind that you've done that bring about hurt. He brought you into this program today to say He loves you, He understands, He's not surprised, and when Jesus died on the cross, He paid for all your sins.

And what He wants to do is extend forgiveness. And your part is today to come to Him to say, Almighty God, when I look back and see some of the things I've done, and in some cases some of the people I've hurt, I want to ask you right now, will you forgive me? Will you cleanse me for all those things? And yes, if you're not a follower of Jesus, Lord, would you cleanse me of all my sin? I come to you, I ask you to be my Savior right now. Today, I believe, Jesus, that you're fully God, that you lived a perfect life, and that when you died on the cross, you paid for all my sin. And you rose from the dead to prove it's true, and you have promised that anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. Today, right now, I call upon you.

If that's your heart, express that in your own words. He understands God loves you, He's for you, and He wants you to know today is your day to be saved, to be forgiven, to have a fresh start. And then let me encourage you right now to text or call the greatest Christian you know or one that you feel comfortable with and say, today, I prayed to receive Christ. I'm not sure what to do now.

Would you give me some help? And let me encourage you to find a New Testament, begin reading in the book of John, go to our website, livingontheedge.org. It's one big word, livingontheedge.org. And we have some information that we want to give you absolutely free to help you on your new journey.

Thanks, Chip. Well, if you prayed to receive Christ, we do have a free resource we'd like to put in your hands that was created specifically for new believers. This tool will help you understand what it means to trust in Jesus and what to do next. Request this free resource by calling 888-333-6003 or by visiting livingontheedge.org, then clicking the New Believers button.

That's livingontheedge.org or call 888-333-6003. Let us help you get started in your faith journey. Well, Chip's still with me in studio, and Chip, before we go, you wanted to take a moment and pass along some encouragement to our listeners.

Absolutely, Dave. What I want to share now is really important. For those of you who support our ministry in prayer and in your generous financial giving, I just want to say thank you. You know, when we share the gospel like this, I can just tell you, statistically, it's amazing.

The powers and the message, many, many, many people come to know Jesus, are transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. And I just want you to rejoice with us, and I want to thank you for being a part of Living on the Edge and what God is doing. Thanks for praying. Thanks for giving. Let's keep pressing ahead together.

Thanks, Chip. Well, if you'd like to join us in spreading the gospel and discipling fellow believers, consider becoming a financial partner today. As Chip just said, your support can have an eternal impact on someone's life. To learn more about becoming a financial partner, go to LivingOnTheEdge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003, or visit LivingOnTheEdge.org. Tap Listeners. Just tap Donate.

Well, before we go, let me quickly ask you, do you feel unprepared or nervous to talk to someone about Jesus? Well, if so, we'd like to tell you about our newest small group resource called Not Beyond Reach. Based on the ideas in Aaron Pierce's insightful book, this tool will reveal an easy method to share the gospel in today's world with unwavering truth and endless grace. Learn more by visiting LivingOnTheEdge.org or by calling 888-333-6003. Tap Listeners tap Special Offers. Join us next time as our guest teacher, Tim Lundy, continues our series, Caring Enough to Confront. Until then, I'm Dave Drouie, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.