Love Sex and Lasting Relationships - Sexual Purity in a Sex-Saturated World, Part 2

A number of years ago, a young man came to me and said, I want to follow Christ with all my heart, but I have a problem.

I am not sexually pure, and no matter how hard I've tried, I just can't do it. Will you help me? I'd like to share with you today what I shared with him. Stay with me. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip's our Bible teacher for this international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians. Well, in just a minute, we'll continue our series, Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships. Today, he's back in Ephesians Chapter 5 addressing what it takes to be sexually pure in the sex-saturated world.

That's a lot of practical advice to get to, so let's dive in. Here now is Chip with the second half of this valuable message. This is God's game plan. First, it's walking in love demands sexual purity. Second, sexual purity demands a game plan. There's four parts to this game plan.

Pull out a pen, jot them down. Number one, develop convictions. Develop convictions. Purity requires a personal commitment to the truth. The truth is this. Walk in love. Don't walk in lust.

Are you committed to that or not? And there's a big difference between a belief and a conviction. Convictions are rooted in, God said this. God's character is that He's good. He's a son and a shield.

He gives grace and glory. He's not going to withhold any good thing. I didn't give those boys a bike so they could be frustrated because they just couldn't go out in the five lanes. I gave it to them so they could enjoy it and ride and have fun, and the older they got they could go farther and farther and farther and have lots of fun. But there's a difference between believing something and a conviction.

A conviction is you do it whether anybody's watching or not, and a conviction is you do it even if you're persecuted for it. Let me give you a picture. I'm going back to a lot of college days because, I mean, this was the battle in my life. And so I was what's called a resident assistant. I had my schooling paid for by basketball, but you get your room and board and some extra money if you were a resident assistant. That was a person like, you know, you have, you're in a dorm and there's like 30 to 50 guys and you have a middle floor and you're supposed to be able to help them and kind of traffic the good and the bad and, you know. So West Virginia University sent a bunch of psychologists and counselors to do sensitivity training for all the resident assistants.

So all the dorms and, you know, all the female and male dorms. And so we came to school, you know, four or five days early. We had to go through all this training, which we were not crazy about. And so they would do all these sort of activities to help us get in touch with our feelings and be open and learn to help people. And honestly it was pretty good. It was a little wacky at times, but it was pretty good. So they had this one exercise where they wanted you to discover your values.

What do you really believe? And so they had a long, really long place in a room and everyone lined up in this room against a wall. Very, very big room. But they had everyone scooched in the middle and they said basically this is zero. And over here is 100 points that say I totally agree with that statement. And over here is 100 points I totally disagree with it.

So it's either plus or, you know, opposite. So they asked these questions and so, you know, do you believe such and such? And so, you know, some people would be at about a 30 and others would be about a 100 and people would be all over the place.

And I'll never forget this question. Do you believe that sex before marriage is okay? Now, in my memory there's about 71 people in this little section. Over here is I believe and agree 100% that sex before marriage is okay. 68 people are hovered around the 100 mark. On the opposite side are two people, Jana and her boyfriend.

I happen to know them. They're over holding hands, Dana and Jana. We totally disagree that sex before marriage is right. 68 people say we totally, I mean this is the 70s, you know, make love not war, okay? Co-ed dorms, the whole crazy stuff. And then, so there's 68 over there and there's two over there and then here's zero.

And right about one and a half, maybe two, is the waffling weasel named Chip. Because now, you know, if you would have asked me, if you would have asked me privately, you're a Christian I hear, oh yes, yes, I'm a Christian now. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Absolutely not. The Bible says not do that. But that's a belief. 68 people say it's okay and three of them are girls that I'm interested in. The other problem is these two I go to Bible study with on Thursday night. See, you can say whatever you want. You got to develop a conviction.

No one can do that for you. Convictions don't come from hearing other people talk about God's Word. Conviction comes when you open up Ephesians 5 and you read it over and it says walk in love and you open your heart and you say, God, you know, I want, no, no, let me be honest, okay? Hey God, I don't want to walk in love. You know what? What I really want to do is have all my sexual fantasies fulfilled and it's all really, really about me but I repent of that and I'm sorry and it doesn't work out well so I'm going to make a choice. Even though my feelings are that way, I choose to want to walk in love and I'm going to make a decision and a conviction to be sexually pure in my thinking, in my words and in my behavior. And so it starts with a stake that you drive and it's God speaking to you from His Word because you don't do it because of what your friends think. David or Dana and Janna, they didn't care what anybody thought.

The weasel did. I didn't have a conviction and so when you don't have a conviction, those things you think you believe, they will not sustain you when something pops up on the internet. They won't sustain you when someone flirts. They won't sustain you when you're in a rocky part of your marriage and someone gives you some attention at work.

They will not sustain you when you're looking for that right person and well, I don't really believe in this but we really love each other and empty words. Develop convictions. Second, ponder the consequences.

Fear can be a legitimate and healthy motivation for delayed gratification. Ponder the consequences. So first I'm going to develop convictions. I not just believe but I'm convinced this is the right way to live. Question, just you can put a little check mark on your paper or in your mind. Have you developed the conviction and made the decision that you'll be sexually pure before God? Because by the way, I'm going to give you a lot of tools that are practical.

I guarantee they work but if you don't do this one, the rest of it is just blowing smoke. So ask yourself, do you have a conviction? And I encourage you that before you walk out of one of those doors to drive that stake in the ground. It'll change the course of your life. It'll change the course of your marriage. It'll change who you find or who you do marry. Ponder the consequences.

It says fear can be a healthy legitimate motivator. Notice in verses five or six, God's wrath is against those who disobey. As a loving father, there's wrath, there's anger, there's consequences. If I love my kids enough to produce some really negative consequences to help them understand, don't go into the five lanes and don't hang out with drug dealers.

Do you think the God of the universe who cares about you and one of the most precious gifts he's ever given you is this gift of intimacy and sex and connection and designed to bond you. When you violate that, don't you understand there's spiritual consequences? You get cut off from your fellowship with him and you have this guilt and your prayers don't go through. You don't have much motivation.

You don't hang around with other Christians. Your lifestyle begins to, there's relational price tags. You will use and exploit other people and you'll carry guilt.

I mean, there's physical issues. You may get a disease. I mean, if you don't ponder the consequences, you may get someone pregnant. You may find yourself getting pregnant and then violate everything you've ever believed and have a private abortion. You may find yourself having an affair and paying child support to, I mean, these are not little deals, are they? And they don't just happen to someone else out there.

These are real things that happen to people who with all their heart say, I love God and I want to follow God and they do these things. How do you not do these things? How do you not get hooked on the internet? How do you not find yourself flirting? How do you find yourself keeping your marriage together?

How do you eliminate divorce? You got to ponder the consequences. You got to think about what would happen if I get, I really get hooked on this stuff. What would happen if I keep messing around flirtatiously at work? What would happen if we continue to live together and so you ponder it.

And here's what I encourage you to do. Get your kind of favorite relaxing something to drink and whether that's, you know, coffee at a coffee shop or something at home and put your feet up and then actually go through a mental picture and try and create a movie of what the implications would be like if you fail morally. For some of you it's telling your mom and dad that you're pregnant. For others it's telling your mate that you're hooked on something and you don't know how to get out of it and you really want help and you're afraid.

For others it's destroying two families. And your husband or wife said, I'll tell you what, I'll put up with a lot, but if you're ever unfaithful, you are done. And it's you sitting in a hotel room with a bunch of stuff and kids that are completely in disarray and can't believe after what you said and how you told us to live that you've lived this other way. I'll tell you what, we underestimate the fear of God.

Okay? See, you know, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm obeying God in this and after my first few years this has been a real high priority for me and I have my struggles like everyone else.

But I'm guessing, I don't know, but since it's a nice story I can make up whatever I want. I'm guessing that on an average week maybe, I'm going to give myself a little credit, here maybe 25 to 35 percent of the reason that I always obey God in these kind of areas as much as, you know, because I just love Jesus so much and I realize what He's done for me and I just don't want to let Him down. I mean about 35 percent of the time maybe. I bet 65 percent of the time when a huge temptation comes I really want to please Him but I'm scared to death not to. I fear Him. I fear God.

I fear the consequences. I play this little movie out and here's my movie and I've been playing this movie for years. My movie is there's a long couch right here and at the very end I'll go in order.

Eric who's the oldest, then Jason, then Ryan, then Annie. Teresa sits on the end and I pull them all together and I'm shaking and they wonder what's going on and I probably get down on one knee and they're all here and Teresa's on the end and I say, I just need to let you all know that I've done something I'm very ashamed of. For the last three months I've fallen morally and I want you to know that everything I've taught, everything I've said, everything I've communicated to you guys about sexual purity, I blew it.

I could tell you about how I was tired and how I was vulnerable and all the different reasons but I betrayed your mother and I betrayed you and because of the kind of job I have I want you to know I don't have a job now. I want you to know that because I have a little bit of a profile it will be in the papers. It'll be in Christianity Today.

It'll be in some other magazines. I want you to know I will make you an object of ridicule because people will say, yeah, you know those people that didn't believe much in God, much in Jesus and you know your dad who seemed like it was a pretty straight shooter, he's just like all the rest. I don't buy Jesus, I don't buy God and I don't know how much damage I'll do for the whole rest of your life. I don't know if we'll have a relationship.

At this point I'm praying your mom will forgive me and we can get this thing back together somehow but I don't know if she will or not. I violated her that deeply. That's a bad movie isn't it? That's a really bad movie. What does your bad movie look like?

What's your bad movie look like? Because I will tell you what the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge and the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and to think that there are five lane highways and rules that the creator of the universe has put in place and that you can go play in those or hang out with spiritual drug dealers and it not smash your life and ruin your life and destroy your life and destroy others. You're dreaming. This isn't little stuff, sexual purity. There's nothing that aligns more with worship than our sexuality because our sexuality and our worship has to do with either God or idols. So if you want to be sexually pure, you develop convictions. You say that's the way I'm going to live.

I will struggle, I may fail but that's the way I'm going to live. Second, you ponder the consequences and third, here's where you get the victory. You make pre-decisions. Advanced decision making is the absolute necessity for sexual purity.

Pre-decisions. If you wait in the midst of the battle when it comes, when the Netflix that you rented and you didn't realize, oh my lands, look where this is going or something late at night comes on or someone sends a YouTube and you go, oh I bet it's pretty good and pretty soon it gets graphic or someone flirts with you at the office. If you wait, if you're dating someone and it's 1.30 in the morning and it's late and it's his or her apartment or the parents are gone and you're semi laying down watching this movie, really engrossed in the movie I'm sure and no one's around at 1.30 and your defenses are low, you will do what you thought could never happen in this relationship. You both love God, you both want to be pure, you know, you both made your commitments. At 1.30 in the morning laying down watching a movie in a dark room, no one's around, 80% of all young women never plan to have sex the first time and you're no different.

You get it? You got to make a pre-decision. You have to decide in advance, these are things I won't let in my mind, this is how I will live my life so those things don't get me. It's all about pre-decisions.

In fact, verse 7 says we're not to be partakers, we're not to associate with anything that's sexually impure in thought, right? In word or deed. Now, what I have before me is a blue sheet of paper.

You can't read it, in fact if you could probably I would cover it up. But I've made some pre-decisions. I'm going to share my pre-decisions but here's what you need to hear. These are mine. These are mine. I'm uniquely made by God.

Being uniquely made by God, I have some strengths and I have some glaring weaknesses and my strengths will be different than yours and my weaknesses will be different than yours. So this isn't a set of rules that everyone needs to hear chips and say, well this is what I should do. No, no. What you ought to hear is, you know, number 1, 3, 5, 7, 6, and 8. I think I need those.

I don't need that other one. I'm not sure where he's coming from. But you have to make pre-decisions. But I'm thinking if I tell you to make pre-decisions and I don't give you some handles on some ways that it might help you, what are they? Pre-decision for me, number 1, when someone starts telling a dirty joke, I play a lot of pick up basketball and hang out with guys that are very, very unchurched and they, you know, they start sharing something that's really lewd. If I'm really close with them, I'll say, hey dude, come on man, I don't want to hear that stuff.

And because we've got a relationship. If I'm in that and they start down that road and I don't really know them very well, I'll say, hey, see you guys, now I'm going to work on my foul shots. I don't want to be this self-righteous little Christian that goes, now guys, don't you understand that's a terrible thing.

And they're lost like I, they're in darkness. I'm not going to put my stuff on them. But I'm not sticking around. I've pre-decided. It starts, I leave. Pre-decision number 2, when something comes on the TV, the internet and it begins, it's suggestive, pre-decision, I change the channel or I turn it off now.

Immediately. See, I'm not strong, but neither are you. There's certain things in the Christian life that you fight. You fight the enemy, but you flee youthful lust and anything that gives you the desires that young men and young women often have. But stay close to anything and anyone that helps you want to do what's right.

That's the living Bible, 2 Timothy 2 22. And so, you know what, I've been there and it's not like I never ever slip, but right, something comes on, it's kind of late, you're really tired and you think, oh my gosh, she's starting to take her clothes off. In fact, this is, this is prime time.

This is ridiculous. Children would be up. And then, have you ever done this? Then you grab the remote, like, I wonder how far they're going to go. And then it's like, I have the remote because not only, this is what you don't really admit to yourself at the time, you want the remote because you wonder how far they're going to go, but you also wonder if someone walks in the room, how quickly can you change the channel? And you know what, all sexual sin starts very subtly.

All affairs start very subtly. And you know, you watch it, it's not like, oh, this guy, what'd you get off it? You're just overblowing this thing. You know what it's like? It's like, sexual sin is like, someone says, now don't go, don't go in the water, it's dangerous. And you walk out and you put it up to your knees.

What's with these people? I mean, you know, this is, don't watch this, don't watch that, that guy, he's just, you know, he's on drugs. And you know, so you go out and it's up to your waist and you know, it actually feels kind of good. And then you say, you know, I'll tell you, someone says, well, you don't try these floaties, you know. So you lay down and pretty soon, you know, you look up and, have you done this in the ocean? You know, you get out in the water like here, and this is sort of where your camp is, or lawn chairs, or whatever, and you look up and, oh my lands, you're all the way down here? Well, here's what happens with sexual sin. Man, we're just friends. You know, it just, it stimulates me.

I think it's going to help the sexuality in our marriage because, you know, sometimes I struggle in those areas. There's lots of empty words. And then here's what happens, and the current gets you, and you're not this deep, and you're not this deep, and you're full blown in it, and there's the waterfalls coming, and you go, oh my gosh, I gotta get out of this, and you try and swim. You're done. You're done.

When you wait until the battle, you lose. I mean, a lot of you already know this stuff. You've come out of stuff.

People with drug problems don't hang out with other people and say, hey, you know, I've been off drugs for 27 years. How are you guys doing those lines these days? You know, we did kind of short ones.

I just kind of wanted a little research. Alcoholics don't go, hey, you know, I've been, I'll tell you what, just about ruined my life. It was really tough, but, you know, can I get a diet coke here? I'd like to hang out with you guys for three or four or five hours and kind of let's talk about, hey, another shot of tequila. You're doing pretty good on that one. Doesn't affect me at all. What are you going to do if you sit there for three hours? It's the same with sex.

And all the same things that happen in your brain are the same. So, pre-decision. Pre-decision is when someone begins to flirt.

Now, I don't think that happens to me a lot, but, you know, on occasion, you know, someone begins to flirt the very first pre-decision. Have I told you about my wife, Teresa, and hold it, where's my iPhone? You should see my kids. Message. This ring means I'm not for sale.

Okay? You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And before we get back to today's message, let me quickly remind you that this teaching comes from Chip's popular book, Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships. So if you're ready to find love, stay in love, and develop meaningful intimacy with your spouse, you're going to want to get this resource.

Stick around after this message to learn how to get your copy today. Well, with that, let's get back to Chip's talk. Pre-decision. They start to flirt or even thinking they're flirting. Probably they're not really flirting. Right?

Pre-decision. You can see flirting strokes your ego. A lot of all sexuality has almost little or nothing to do with sex and has a big thing to do with a woman trying to feel, am I desirable? Do I have any worth? And a man, am I able? Am I still attractive?

Can I come through? It's all about you. It's all about me.

It's all about ego. Pre-decision. When someone's dressed or, let me say, not dressed very well. I mean, I ride on a lot of airplanes and I'm in a lot of airports and a lot of places and big hotels and, you know, I can be doing whatever I'm doing. I can be sitting there and someone walks by and it's like, are you kidding me?

I mean, some very, very beautiful, beautiful woman who's very attractive that has an amazing figure and I can see almost all of her figure. Pre-decision. Don't look twice. It's pre-decision. I mean, it's like, oh, maybe I should pray for her.

I need a really good look to know what her needs would be. Right? Are you kidding me?

Right? It's a pre-decision. It's like, you know what? That look will lead to that thought that will lead to this and I'm going to be in Matthew 5 with saying, Lord, I'm really sorry. I've lost it in my mind. These are pre-decisions.

They take practice. When you're dating someone, pre-decision, who are you going to date? For me, it was not just a believer, not just a believer that had high standards and loved God more than me, but they had a common vision. If they don't have that, after all the Christian girls I dated, forget it.

And God gave me Teresa. When you go on a date, how far will you go? Pre-decision. In our relationship, you talk about it. When we hold hands, it means this. When I put my arm around you, it means this. When we kiss on the mouth, it means this. If we do anything beyond that, this is the level of commitment that it means and these are the boundaries we agree on. Pre-decide.

When you have a date, you pre-decide. Where are you going to go? How late will you stay? What are you going to do?

I mean, you're in the stream. This is awesome, okay? It's awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome. But it's dangerous. It's a gift.

Don't mess it up. When someone else's wife or husband comes to you and at the end of a Bible study you're saying, wow, you know, we're really going through a rough time and I know Fred's depressed and, you know, we just, we're having trouble with our kids or some financial issues and a person of the opposite sex begins to share their dissatisfaction with their mate and what's going on and it's really not even the sexual side of you, it's the part of you that wants to help and there's something really weird about I'm helping this person and I'm listening and they just seem so appreciative. The moment that happens, I always, my pre-decision, wow, you know something, it sounds like you really need to talk to another woman that could help you because being a man, I don't really understand that stuff. Ninety percent of all affairs do not start because someone gets up one day and goes, you know, I've been really walking with God really carefully for about 22 years. I've got three kids, pretty good job. Wife loves me, I love her.

I've gained a little weight, she's gained a little weight. It's not quite what I'd like it to be. It's Thursday, I've never had an affair. I think it would be a good day for an affair. You know, I've heard about those people with addictions and how it works in your brain a lot like cocaine and this and that and, you know, I would never want it long term but it's Saturday morning.

I think I'll log on the internet and just sort of type, I'll Google XXX and see if anything comes up. You know, I'll just watch two or three, four, five, six of these and I think I'll have seven days of hardcore porn to see if it really affects me because I'm not sure it does. No one does that. No one does that, okay? When you end up in the ditch, you never plan to go there. So you make pre-decisions.

What are yours? What should they be for where you're at in your season? So, look, love demands sexual purity. Sexual purity demands a game plan.

A game plan you got to start with. I'm going to develop convictions, in fact, drive this day today. I'm going to ponder the consequences of the evil and the bad of my hurt and hurting others.

I'm going to make pre-decisions and this last one is crucial. Get accountability. Asking others to help you keep your commitments to God will empower you to walk in a way that it says in verse 11, pleasing to the Lord. Elders in this church, once a month we pray early and have some sharing time. We went around a room, accountability, and the three questions were, how's your thought life with regard to purity? Where and how are you doing in your marriage? And how's your personal time and walk with God?

I have a friend who's a board member and a friend of 30 some years and this was a number of months ago, but we sat down. I can tell him anything. He can tell me anything.

When I'm really struggling, I call him or two or three other buddies that I'm really close to and he's got this crazy little card. Have you watched anything in the last 30 days that would be displeasing to God? Have you? I mean, he goes through these questions that are just like, and I mean, they would be offensive if I hadn't asked him, would you help me keep my commitments to God?

Because we're all have some level of denial and we're all liars. Which is his last question. He asked these six questions and they're just penetrating. I mean, have you lost it? Have you done this? Have you done that?

The last question is, have you lied to me in any of the above six questions? Do you have someone in your life? What does AA teaches? Why do you have to have a personal trainer to lose weight for some of you?

Why do you need a buddy or a gal to walk with to do it consistently? We all need people. Encourage one another day after day, lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

A court of three is not easily broken. Get accountability. Tell them, I made a conviction. I'm going to be spiritually and sexually pure. I've made these pre-decisions. These are mine. What are yours?

Could we meet, even if it's by phone, once a week and be straight with one another? God will deliver you. Finally, as you turn to the back page, it's the reward. Sexual purities pay off. I want you to add two words. Sexual purities pay off. Write the words, is awesome.

Is awesome. One couple's journey, I just want to say, God's way works. Some of you, you're here and you haven't been around very long and you're thinking, well, you know, easy for a pastor to say, I didn't grow up as a Christian. My wife was married before.

I played competitive college basketball and then overseas. And everything that I've told you about is not how I lived up until I was introduced to God's word. And even the first couple, three years after I was introduced, it was not easy. I've done tons of things wrong. God has been very gracious to limit the consequences. But He gave us a fresh start.

And then I want to tell you, you ride that bike around the place that He wants you to ride that bike and everything is great. It really does work. And it's never too late.

That's the second point. You can start today. It's never too late. You can repent today. You can decide you're going to move out from the relationship where you're living together. You can break the sexual addiction.

You can stop flirting. The woman caught in adultery. What's Jesus' attitude to us sexual sinners? What do you say to that woman? Neither do I condemn you.

And our culture is real big on the first half. Therefore, go in. Some of you, that's His word. That's Jesus to you. That's all you really need to hear. I don't condemn you. Go and sin no more. You say, well, how? Well, develop convictions, ponder the consequences, right?

Make some pre-decisions and get accountability. And by the way, you got to be in God's word. There's power in this truth as you renew your mind. It's never too late. It wasn't too late for David, king of Israel, adultery. It wasn't too late for Rahab. It wasn't too late for Augustine. Augustine was a sexual pervert before he came to Christ and shaped the church. His own testimony was the wildness of his lust as a young man. Nothing's new. It's never, never too late. And finally, a word to virgins.

Yes, there are virgins in the world, even in the church. And here's what it is. You're not weird. You're wise.

You're not weird. You're wise. I was teaching on a related topic and kind of gave a similar talk many years ago. And a young man came and he was learned later.

He's 28, 29 years old and, you know, looked like sort of a professional guy. And he came up and I said, he said, kind of talk. I said, well, sure.

He said, no, over here. I mean, I thought, ooh, okay, okay. So we went over here and he said, I'm 28, whatever, and I'm a doctor. And what you shared is how I was taught and how I've lived. And, you know, do you know what it's like to be like 28, 29 years old, praying, living a pure life, waiting for, I just feel weird. And I just, I just, I just feel like, I mean, I'm so made to feel like I'm out of touch with the real world and what's really going on. So this really helped me. But I just had to tell you, I mean, I feel weird.

And I remember putting my hand on his shoulder and I said, dude, you are not weird. You are wise. When everyone else is unpacking their baggage, when everyone else is going through all that stuff, when they have to go to marriage counseling like I did, because we had to work through all of our stuff, man, you, you're going to be the one that's wise because it's the highest and the best.

Are you ready to step on and step into God's plan? You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and the message you just heard, how to be sexually pure in a sex saturated world is from our series, Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships. Chip will join us in studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Everyone desires to love and be loved. It's built into our DNA. So why are wholesome committed relationships so hard to find and hold on to? In this 10-part series, Chip paints a more satisfying picture of love than what you'd find at any relationship workshop or dating site. Discover the truth about romance, sex, true love and marriage the way God intended it. If you've missed any part of this series, catch up any time through the Chip Ingram app or at livingontheedge.org. Chip's here in studio with me now, and Chip, you've been talking about God's prescription for love, sex and lasting relationships.

But take a minute if you wouldn't talk to that single person listening right now. What's the best way they can find the right person and have the kind of relationship you're talking about? Dave, what I know is there's many very committed people that love God with all their heart. And whether they're single or single again, they want to have a great relationship with a godly person, and they want it to last.

What they normally don't have is a plan with good structure. Once our emotions get involved with another person, once the attraction takes over, most of us drop our IQ by 30 or 40 points, and then we move according to our emotions instead of a structured plan that God's wisdom can provide. What this book will do chapter by chapter is say, this is the world's model, this is God's model, here's the next step, here's a test to know if you're in love, here's some things to avoid, here's some very practical things to do so that you end up with the right person and the right kind of relationship to get God's very best. There's something about reading and going through a book, doing it alone but then doing it together that can really make a difference.

Thanks Chip. To get your hands on his book Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships, go to Special Offers on the Chip Ingram app or at LivingOnTheEdge.org. If you want to experience genuine intimacy, lasting romance, and true security, then get this valuable resource today. Order your copy of Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by visiting Special Offers on the Chip Ingram app or at LivingOnTheEdge.org.

Chip, you were pretty straightforward today about what the Bible says about sexual purity, and there are a lot of people listening who want to be pure, but it can be really tough. So could you briefly go over those three main points again? I'd be glad two days. First, you have to have a game plan, right? You just have to have a plan that I'm going to attack this and this is what I'm going to do. Purity requires a commitment to the truth. Second, you have to ponder the consequences. I talked about literally picturing my kids on the couch and telling them the story of my moral failure and really me thinking through all the consequences of reputation and finances and dishonoring God, and there's something about that that creates some good, healthy fear. The third thing, and I think this is so key, is pre-decisions or advanced decision-making.

You don't ask an alcoholic to walk into a bar and say, now what you want to do is stop drinking here, or someone's struggling with drugs, or someone who has a sexual addiction to say, now what I want you to do is log on and then see if you can stop. Pre-decisions are the key to victory. And so for me, I've just made some pre-decisions that I shared in the teaching about what I will watch. Often there's things that spur our mind, that create an appetite for immorality. So I have to put good things in my mind and there's just certain movies and certain things that I will not even watch. Secondly is when I will be alone with a person of the opposite sex. Third, there are some guys, there's certain relationships that their life and what they do and whenever one quote goes drinking or does this or that, you know what's going to happen. And so you make these pre-decisions about where you'll go, what you'll do, who your friends will be, what you watch. You have a pre-decision with your girlfriend about when you're going to go home, that you won't be alone watching a movie at 2 a.m. on the couch downstairs. I got news for you, I don't care how strong your will is, at 2 a.m. and you're attracted to this wonderful girl or guy, not good things are going to happen.

Pre-decide and then you need accountability. You need some people that you're going to be honest with, we're all going to struggle, we're going to have times where we fail, but that's all part of the game plan and we want to help you. That's right Chip. Go to SpecialOffersAtLivingOnTheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram app to check out our resources for this series. You can order a copy of Chip's book, Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships or download the free MP3s for Chip's short, insightful series, How to Slay the Dragon of Lust. We want to help you be sexually pure and set up safeguards to protect your relationship and these tools can help. So go to SpecialOffers on the Chip Ingram app or at LivingOnTheEdge.org to learn more. Well from all of us here, I'm Dave Drouie, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.