Unstuck - Overcoming the Pain of Prejudice, Part 2

Overcoming the pain of prejudice is a very tall order, especially when it continues to happen to you, but there is a way to stop the cycle of prejudice, and today we're going to peel back the layers of emotion and hurt to reveal the source of prejudice and how to stop it. Stick around. You don't want to miss this one. Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international teaching and discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians. Well, in just a minute, Chip will pick up where he left off in our series Unstuck, with the remainder of his talk, Overcoming the Pain of Prejudice. Before we begin, if this is your first time listening to Living on the Edge or you want to learn more about what we do, go to livingontheedge.org. You'll find resources on tons of topics and countless programs to enjoy. Or if you prefer, the Chip Ingram app is also a great way to get plugged in with our ministry. Okay, Chip begins part two of his talk with a direct question for us to think about.

Let's dive in. Now, how do we in our world stop the painful cycle of prejudice? Principle number one, remember your former condition. I get that from verses 11 and 12. Remember. What do I mean by that? Remember you're standing apart from God.

Remember what your life was like, where your destiny was headed, and the kind of person you were before Christ saved and forgave you and came to dwell inside of you. That's what he says to the Gentiles. It's only until we grasp that it is by grace that we've been accepted that we can begin to understand, wait a second. You know, the Jews' problem is we're the circumcised, and they're the dogs, the uncircumcised. And did you notice the little phrase Paul, he said, they're the circumcised, and then that little parenthetical phrase there where he says, you know, by human hands.

You know what his point is? His point is the circumcision they have is a physical circumcision of an outward thing that occurred out of their history and lineage as Jews. And Paul's saying it's meaningless to God.

The only circumcision that God looks at is a circumcision of the heart. And so he's saying to those Jews, you know what, your circumcision, your lineage, your background, your superiority, you getting the oracles of God before Jesus and apart from Jesus, then you're lost. You Gentiles, you were foreigners, you were aliens, you didn't have any claim on God's promises, you better remember where you came from.

So all of a sudden now everyone comes in as fellow sinners in need of grace instead of I'm superior or I'm better and I'm looking down my nose or I'm taking this position of judging other people. And so I think the first thing is we remember our former condition. I think it's also important to remember that we've been the objects of prejudice. You know, it's so easy to think that we don't have this problem until you really need to remember some people and what it felt like when someone treated you in a way that you knew was wrong and they don't even know you. I mean, they just, they rejected you just because of kind of what you wore or what you didn't wear or, you know, what part of town you were from or the color of your skin or what denominational background you can't, I mean, you need to remember what that feels like. Because if we don't, left to ourselves, our flesh, we do what? We just gravitate and we start treating people exactly that same way. When you remember that feeling, it's a real helpful antidote to pre-judging others.

Principle number two, realize that the ground is level at the foot of the cross. I mean, to those Jews, he's saying, that's where you're from. To the Gentiles, this is where you're from. It's level. What makes you acceptable, what makes you worthy is what Jesus has done for you.

There's absolutely no basis to feel superior to judge any human being with regard to their value, their worth, their suitability, their inclusion in your group on the basis of their race or cultural background or speech or geography or gender or personal history or dress. God, I think, has a very unique sense of humor. I grew up in the suburbs, okay? I mean, both mom and dad are school teachers. The suburbs are, some of you will really get this, you know, the houses are real close together and you have driveway, little lawn, driveway, little lawn. The little boy, you go out, you know, every driveway is a first down. You play football in the front yard. The neighborhood school is, you know, everyone can almost walk to it. There's outdoor basketball courts. You live on asphalt. You play in the front yard. Everyone knows one another. Pretty white, sort of started out lower middle class and I think we kind of made it to middle middle class and that was just my whole world. Large white suburb outside of Columbus, Ohio. And then, you know, because of my passion for basketball, I ended up in the inner city a lot and developed a lot of relationships with African Americans and then playing ball and going overseas. That became, actually, my mother once said, you know, you look pretty white on the outside but your culture is all black on the inside.

All the music I listen to and all my friends, but it was just my world. Well, then, you know, you go to school and I meet Teresa and I want to be a basketball coach and God says that's a good plan but not the best plan. So I want you to coach the church.

I don't want you to coach basketball. So, oh boy, you know, we went to school, went to grad school. Now I got to go to seminary.

You got to be kidding. So we go to seminary and our very first church, 32 miles outside of Dallas, and I entered a world that I didn't know existed. Okay, I mean, there's a town square, you know, and there's still the little circles where they put the horses. There's no, it's less than like 3,000 people and there's one main drag, no stop lights. And people that pull up in their trucks, there's guns, real guns that shoot in the back of them. I mean, guns scared me.

I've never even seen a gun before. And, you know, people had John Deere hats. I thought John Deere was a lawnmower. I'm just telling you, I mean, this is, and I just realized, and there was two restaurants, one on the one end of town and one on the other end of town, the feed store and the wagon wheel. And when you walked into the feed store or the wagon wheel, my breaking heart is loving you, darling.

And it was just like, oh, Jesus, deliver me. I mean, now I have come to like country music, but I mean, it was like, are you kidding? And then I'd meet these young guys and I thought it was a style. They had these little circles in the back of their jeans.

I thought, where do you get the jeans with the little circles? And where I come from, you have a Coke can to drink out of. They carry Coke cans to spit in. I mean, literally, it's like, ah, you know? And then I found, like, for those of you who are wondering what the circle is, this is skull, and you put it in your cheek, and all day like this, and they talk to you like this all the time, talk to you like this too, talk to you like this all the time. And so let me tell you something. I walked in and I still remember a guy, he would literally be in my prejudiced view, let me just say this and get this out, an old geezer.

John Deere hat, something in his jaw. I walk in, and this kind of a whisper, there's that new preacher boy. And I'm thinking, God has sent me to purgatory. And I'm serious.

Now let me fast forward. In my journey there, that church taught me how to be a pastor. That church loved my wife and kids. What I realized was the problem wasn't with the guy with the John Deere hat, the problem wasn't with those kids with the skull. The problem was, in my arrogance and prejudging, I'm a suburban kid.

I think everyone who looks or acts like that in any way is a redneck. Okay? And now I'm better than they are. I'm just telling you, I mean, this isn't like what I, this is how I thought. I'm better than these people, I'm smarter than these people, I'm more sophisticated than these people, and God dropped me in this land of losers, except for all the people at the church owned all these businesses in Dallas. So I got all these rich, wealthy, powerful people who I really respect, and I'm living in this town of like, you're kidding me. And then over the next eight years, I got to know some guys in John Deere hats, and I got to know a man who had one of his fingers cut off, who I watched God transform his life from literally a racist to watching him as we built this church and God worked and we kept a woodworking area where I watched him teach little black kids how to make things and how we partnered with the black church across the street and how we took the old gym that was condemned and remodeled it and blacks and whites and Hispanics played basketball and then Young Life used it like on Monday night, and here's what I realized, I didn't know what I didn't know, and the problem wasn't them, the problem was me. They love God. You can love God and spit in a can. You can love God and wear a John Deere hat. You can love God and have a gun in the back and get on a horse and then put on your nice clothes and be a businessman.

You know what? It was just a different culture. But in my insecurity, I judged their culture as inferior because it was too threatening.

And I got to tell you, one of the greatest things that happened in my life was learning to love those people. Realize the ground is level at the foot of the cross. You're not better than anybody. And in your defenses, we all do this. This is not do you do this. We're only talking about to the degree. It's your defense mechanism.

We all do this. And we just do it in different ways to different groups. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and he'll be back to continue our series Unstuck in just a minute. But let me quickly tell you that we are more than a broadcast ministry. We're supporting pastors globally, developing helpful resources and sharing the gospel with this next generation. So if you'd like to join us in these efforts, become a monthly partner by going to livingonthedge.org. And thanks for your support.

Well, here again is Chip. Third point from verses 17, 18 is let your walls come down. Jesus said he destroyed the dividing wall. So let your walls come down. Examine the unbiblical ways that you tend to prejudge others.

That's the whole deal. Prejudice? It's just prejudging. What's the scripture teach? Scripture teaches God doesn't see as man sees.

Man looks on the outward appearance. The Lord weighs the heart. How many of you can see anybody else's heart? You can't see someone's heart through the color of their skin. You can't see someone's heart through what automobile they drive or what kind of jewelry they have or don't have or whether they have a tattoo or a piercing. You can't see someone's heart because they're reformed or dispensational or charismatic or Pentecostal or Baptist. You can't see their heart. You don't know what they believe. You don't know where they're coming from. You don't know where they've been, but God does.

So you gotta let the walls come down. I remember sort of that was phase one of my journey and I don't think that the phases ever end, but phase one was learning to love very country John Deere pick-up truck with guns people. And so I think God said, you know, you still have a lot to learn, so let's try something else.

And so I'm going to take you, you think of the leaders of this church either had a lot of faith or were completely naive. Let's see, this guy has been in that community. He'll fit perfectly in Santa Cruz, California. Santa Cruz is not only the epicenter of the earthquake, it's the epicenter of alternative culture. And whatever alternative could or may mean, multiply it by 100. It has a university called the University of California at Santa Cruz that thinks Berkeley is way too far right.

It has, it's just weird. So here I am. I finally can love a John Deere hat guy with a gun. And then I walk in and here's like, oh my gosh. You know, these two girls are holding hands and kissing in the restaurant over here and then the guy with the dreadlocks over here. I mean, it's just like, and then, you know, there's sort of this individualism, entitlement. Well, in Santa Cruz, it's like on steroids. So I mean, the bike path is like holy, holy, and then the pedestrians is the holy of holies. So people just walk around, you slam on your brakes, they don't even look at you, it's just.

So I get two years, I don't even like these people. I mean, I'm supposed to pastor and love these people, I don't like them. You know, I mean, and their lifestyles and their, and you know, piercing to me was, you know, what you do when you put bolts together.

Not, you don't put your, I mean, in the nose and in the tongue and in the, you know how you're inside, I'm frustrated. You know what's with these people, why don't they get a life, everyone's new age this, crystals are everywhere, get in a coffee shop and, you know, here's how our witch, you know, our warlocks meet and we're casting. It was just like, Kaufman was awesome, Lord, you know.

And I remember one day someone walking across like that, I'm in my car, and you know when you're talking out loud in your car, not a good sign. You know, what's with these people, God, I don't really get the thing, you know, look at this, and there's morality here. And you know, and I just literally, the Spirit of God, Chip, I love these people. I love these people.

I brought you here, I want to love them through you. And I think there's times where we just have to repent. And I remember just thinking, you know who the unholy person here is, you know the person that has big needs? It's not the people tattooed or pierced or Rasa Farian hair or, it's me. I prejudged everybody. You see, when you're in the suburbs, you kind of have this word, you know, everyone does this about life. Like, these people are over here, and these people are over here, and here's what you are, you're in the middle, balanced. It's what you do, we all do it, right?

And so, suburbs here, well, I mean, redneck land over here, liberal, wacko, satanic, I'm not even sure what to call it, land over here. And I think God gave me and our family the gift. And I remember after a period of time, and part of it, I was teaching and I was working through this, and asking, you know, the only way, you can't will yourself into this. It's not, God, will you give me your love? I mean, I started memorizing verses, man sees not as God sees. You know, there in 2 Corinthians 5, you know, he talks about, for even though we know new Christ according to the flesh, we know him thus no longer, speaking of not judging people on the outside. And so, I'm memorizing verses, asking God to help me, help me to love people. And so, I'm preaching, I'm there about three years, and I'm starting to make some progress. And there's this guy, he's like an address.

That's a little over the limit for me. And he's got, I mean, the dreadlocks down to about here, and he's on the front row, and as I'm teaching, he's like smiling with this sort of goofy smile. Nodding his head, you know, and I'm just thinking, you know, so I get done, and where I was, you never go to the, you can never make it to the back of the room, you just come down and people talk and you share, and so I get done, and this guy starts coming toward me and I'm thinking, oh my. You know, and he has this sort of woven hat, the dreadlocks, sort of this dress, multicolored, like I don't know where he's from.

By the time he's three feet, the last bath he had was many, many months ago. Brother Chip, thank you so much. And he hugs me and just holds me. And he goes, I just have to tell you, he said, I live out on the streets, it's where God's called me to be, I've been listening to these CDs and things, and God is, I just had to come, and thank you, he's a missionary. We later called him Dan Dan the Hippie Man.

And he played the flute and he was really good. And later we got into doing some discipleship and he walks across America, literally walks, shares Christ with everyone who could breathe, sleeps outside on purpose. And then he gets about halfway across America and he ran into a couple of cults, and I don't know how he did it, but he emailed me and said, I got a question about this, this, this, and this, and I said, Dan Dan Hippie Man, maybe you need a little bit more training, because man, you're in over your head and I can't do this long distance. So he walks back, hangs out at the church for like another two or three years, gets some training, meets a girl that's as weird as he is, and she dresses the same way.

They get married and are called by God to be homeless street people in Europe to share Christ. And if you met him, believe me, initially you would be afraid. And I will tell you, I don't know that I've met anyone that has a pure heart toward God. We need to recognize where we came from, number one. We need to understand the ground is level at the cross, number two. We need to let the walls come down, number three. And then reconciliation in God's family is not an option to be considered, but a fact to be experienced.

This is not like, wouldn't it be nice if we were this way? Jesus did it. He broke down the wall.

He expects every child of God, every son, every daughter to be a wall breaker, to see people the way he sees people. I was in South Africa after apartheid and had the privilege of doing ministry there, and we have a team that we kind of partner with there, and they do these church-wide campaigns with Romans 12 there. One of the ladies there who's on the board of that group was with the Secret Service when Mandela came out of prison.

She's a white lady, about 6'1". And when she told me she was with the Secret Service, I believed her. She carried a gun and everything, but I mean... And she talked about how Mandela would not allow his Secret Service to be all black. And he just refused to let people...

He said, literally, the dividing wall is broken. And he got pressure from both groups. People who sinned, he had councils where they had to own their sin and confess their sin, but he brought about a revolution in South Africa with the most minimal bloodshed of any revolution that's occurred anywhere because it was a man of peace. And he forgave. And he didn't judge people. And she said, I was treated by him. I said, I was on the inside.

Everywhere he went, I went. And the blacks would scream, how could you let those whites do this after what they've done to us? He said, is it any less evil if we do that back to them? We're going to overcome evil with good. I think God wants us to be little Jesus Nelson Mandellas in our worlds and show people that how they judge things is totally unacceptable to us who are followers of Christ. We refuse to prejudge people because reconciliation isn't an option.

It's a reality. And finally, recognize that God's presence dwells where unity prevails. I mean, isn't it amazing when you see people that you kind of look at them and you realize something's very different about this picture? And whether it's rich and poor or whether it's white and black or whether it's Baptist and Pentecostal, you know. But when you see people break out of the stereotypes and love one another, the fragrance and the presence and the power of Christ is unleashed and revealed. And I personally, I don't want to be a prisoner of my prejudice.

And I don't want to be a person who exports change to other people by making them feel less than or unworthy or unacceptable because in my arrogance I've somehow treated them as though there's something wrong or inferior because they don't look like me or sound like me or believe like me. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And the message you just heard, overcoming the pain of prejudice, is from our series Unstuck. Chip will join us in studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Through this study in the Book of Ephesians, Chip highlights the most painful experiences we'll encounter in life and explains how God's Word delivers healing and power to overcome them. Learn how to not just move past broken relationships, rejection, and shattered dreams, but have true joy and contentment that only comes from a relationship with Jesus. If you've missed any part of this series, catch up any time through the Chip Ingram app.

Well, Chip's back with me in studio now. And Chip, you know, today you talked about the pain of prejudice. And really the truth is many Christians are faced with a lot of bias and discrimination just because they follow Jesus. Now as you meet and engage with people across the country, how do you see believers handling this pressure? I think as Christians we see two responses, neither of which is going to bring about long-term positive change. And one is a combativeness, an anger, a sort of the culture is the enemy. And the other is what I call instead of being combatant, we capitulate.

And so go with the flow, you know, who am I to judge, let's just all be loving. And so the one has truth with no grace, and the other has grace with no truth. And so at Living on the Edge, we've spent the last 20 years developing resources, whether it's audio or books or teaching or my favorite, small group material, to help people live out truth and grace. And we've had very generous people partner with us to create all those resources, to pay for airtime, to hire staff. We are living in a day where if Christians do not live like Christians, we will see America go right down the tubes. And so there's never been a day when we need to do more and we can't do more without the prayers and the financial support of our Living on the Edge partners.

And so if you've never given to Living on the Edge, let me tell you, now is a wonderful, wonderful time. We will be true to scripture and we'll be true to equip people to live out both grace and truth and the power of the Holy Spirit. So thank you for those of you that support us. Please continue to do so. And for those of you that have not, I would highly encourage you, get on board today. We can make a difference together.

Thanks, Chip. If partnering with Living on the Edge is an idea that makes sense to you, we'd love to have you join us. Helping Christians live like Christians will change the world we live in. Now to give a gift, go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. Again, that's 888-333-6003 or visit livingontheedge.org. Have listeners tap donate. And thanks for taking the time to help others benefit from the work of this ministry. Well, here again is Chip to share some application for us to think about. As I close today's program, I want to review very, very briefly the admonition and clear directives we have from God about addressing this issue of prejudice.

And the outline points are very clear and very powerful. In verse 11 and 12, we're to remember our former condition, you know, that we've been prejudiced against. Second, we're to realize that the ground is level at the foot of the cross, that no one is better than anyone else. Third, we're to let the walls come down and not judge other people. Fourth, reconciliation in God's family is not an option to be considered. It's a fact to be experienced. And finally, recognize that God's presence dwells where there's unity. I had someone respond to this message, and I was really shocked. They said, I've never heard a message on prejudice in the church. And I thought, how sad. I mean, you were just right out there about racial issues and other issues, and I thought, well, how can we not be right out there?

I mean, this prejudice between Jew and Gentile in Paul's day was as extreme or more than anything racially we've seen. And so here's the deal. Let's quit acting like we don't have prejudice, and let me give you like four or five really quick, simple ways to start addressing the issue in your heart, in your life. You've got to want to, but let's not prejudge people.

Well, how do you do that? Number one, speak less. You know, just talk less.

You'll get in less trouble. Number two, focus on saying only helpful, positive comments. You know those side comments you make about people that you don't know? Just stop it. Number three, commit not to speak negatively about someone behind their back.

I mean, just when you start speaking, if you can't say it to them eyeball to eyeball, can I say this reverently? Shut up. Just don't do it. Number four, challenge those who bring gossip to you and don't personally participate. You know, someone starts talking about someone else, just put your hand up gently and say, you know something, I'm not a part of the problem or the solution. You probably need to talk to them. And finally, look for ways to compliment, commend, uplift, or encourage people that you tend to prejudge.

I mean, just go out of your way to say something positive or treat them in a way that's the exact opposite of how you feel. And you know what? God will do something good. Thanks, Chip. And before we go, the points he just reviewed come right from his message notes, a great resource to help you get the most out of every program. You'll get Chip's outline, the scripture he references, and lots of fill-ins to help you remember what you hear. So before you listen again, let me encourage you to download Chip's message notes at livingontheedge.org, under the broadcasts tab, app listeners tap fill-in notes. Well, for Chip and the entire team here, this is Dave Druey thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.