Balancing Life's Demands - How To Keep First Things First, Part 1

Most of us are working on something in our lives.

You know, some of us it's a diet, others it's working out, for others it's family devotions or getting into God's Word or praying more deeply. But what I know is true about all of us is that we start off well and we make these commitments that are very sincere and then we seem to fade quickly. If you want to learn how to not just put first things first but keep them first, stay with me. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We are a discipleship-driven ministry on a mission to encourage Christians everywhere to live like Christians. Today Chip continues our series, Balancing Life's Demands, with his message, How to Keep First Things First.

You know, making something a priority in life is one thing, but being able to keep it that way is often just as challenging. So stay with us as Chip lays down what God's Word says about protecting our priorities. But before he dives in, let me encourage you to download Chip's message notes. They'll help you get the absolute most out of what he's going to teach and apply it to your life.

Get them under the Broadcasts tab at livingontheedge.org. App listeners, tap Fill in Notes. Well, with that, here's Chip with today's talk. Putting first things first is one thing. Keeping first things first, now that's a whole other thing. So we're going to talk about, well, how do you keep first things first?

The problem is many start well but few finish well. It's one thing to make a commitment and to really mean it. It's quite another thing to keep it sustained over a significant period of time so that those things that you know you want to do, you know God wants you to do. You find yourself little by little by little putting a week together into a month and a few months into a year and a few years into a decade and a couple decades, and that's how you leave a legacy.

I mean, that's how life really plays out. It's what I'm doing today with a view to God's calling, His purpose and legacy in my life. And, you know, whether it's scanning, you know, you can read the characters in this book, and a lot of them start well.

I mean, I'm reading through right now just my personal devotional time, just finished first and second Samuel, first and second Kings, and I got news for you. There's a lot of Kings that start well, but I can only find a handful that finish well. Samson starts well, doesn't finish well. Solomon starts well, doesn't finish well. Demas started well, didn't finish well.

In the second half of life, some people that we all have admired seem to, something happens. A lot of churches start well, don't finish well. A lot of businesses, I mean, remember the book In Search for Excellence by Tom Peters? There were 10 companies he profiled in that book. This is excellence.

I could be mistaken, but at least nine out of 10 of those currently are out of business. They started well, in a season they were doing some things well, but it wasn't sustainable. So, you know, that's really, you can kind of look at me like, well, gosh, I'm glad there's the good news for this session. You know, no one else is finishing well, but somehow, you know, right? That's the problem. In fact, closer to home, a lot of marriages start well. A lot of parenting starts well.

A lot of it doesn't finish well. And now that we've got the problem isolated, what's the solution? I want to suggest that the solution, apart from your own relationship with God, there's no quick easy, but for people who really want to follow Christ, for people that want to honor God, for people who want to balance their life and do things God's way for His glory and for their good and for others, the two words I would give you is biblical accountability. Biblical accountability. Let me give you a definition. Biblical accountability is enlisting the support of those who love me to help me keep my commitments to God. In other words, it's biblical.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. It's not simply accountability. That's in some ways a negative word too. This is not getting a group of people that harass you. You know, this is not getting a group of people that you can meet with on a regular basis to make you feel guilty.

This is not calling it we're involved in accountability group, but everyone goes about, oh, a little past the first superficial layer, but you never really get down to what's really going on. This is where you ask, you invite people into your life and you say, this isn't about expectations of other people. This is where you say, I want to be in my case. I want to be a man of God. I want to be a great father. I want to be a great husband.

I want to be in the eyes of God, a great pastor and a great friend. Will you help me keep my commitments to God? I don't want to fulfill your program.

I don't want to fulfill what you think. I'm asking you, would you enter into my inner world because of our relationship and our trust? Will you help me keep my commitments to God? I'm going to open my life. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be vulnerable. I'm going to share my victories. I'm going to share my struggles.

Will you help me? That's biblical accountability. And I'd like to suggest that there is no way to fulfill anything we've talked about without it. It's powerful. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 12 says, two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity, notice that pity the man, pity the woman who falls and you know you're going to fall and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three is not quickly broken. We have an American individualistic mindset about spirituality and walking with God that is rooted somewhere deep in the heart of John Wayne. All right, pilgrims, it's me.

It's not a very good imitation, by the way, either. And God, and I'm going to do it all by myself, you see. That was a little bit better. I want you to know that every New Testament command that I can find is in what's called grammatically the second person plural. Hey, be this kind of a husband, you all men.

Be this kind of a wife. Walk in purity, you all. Second person plural means you can't do it alone.

It's not hard. It is impossible to be a man of God, a woman of God, the kind of husband, the kind of pure single person, the kind of employer, employee, church member, elder, deacon. It's impossible, impossible to do what God's called you to do. You, God, your Bible. You need people.

I need people. But not people that are at a length, not people that know you superficially, not people that you let in on just certain things and the real deep struggles and the secrets and the difficulty and the pain and the hurts never get out on the table. You were never designed, it is impossible for you and impossible for me to make it apart from other people. We all agree. I mean, at this point, I love your faces. You're telling me I agree with that. Intellectually, everyone agrees with biblical accountability. I mean, you know, back to you are your brother's keeper.

Our experience affirms it works. Some of you will look back and you could say, you know what, I would not be the person I am today apart. And you're either thinking of a real close friendship, a mentor, a small group, a season at times that it was just like, wow. And there was connection, open, honesty.

You were motivated. History affirms. I mean, we've got the Moravians, the Westleys, the Korean movement, the small group movement.

I mean, they didn't call them Methodists for nothing. It was their methodology. You were in a small group. You shared. In Methodism, people would meet twice a week and they would have corporate confession.

This is where I send this week. We had to reintroduce that, see how it works. The Moravians did something very similar. If you see the mushrooming of the church in Korea built around the small group movement of holistic small groups, really ministering to one another. In fact, the world has learned it. They know that overcoming certain things, you know, if you go to AA, right, if you go to Al-Anon, if you go to Celebrate Recovery, if you go to Weight Watchers, if you go to Jenny Craig, I mean, what has the world learned? People don't make lasting change unless they are together with other people, loving, encouraging, and holding one another accountable.

And yet the great majority of all the Christians do not have or experience biblical accountability. I mean, you know, what do they do in group counseling? Rehab centers. Isn't it? Have you ever been around someone who's been through a 12-step program? Unbelievable. I mean, the level of honesty, I'll never forget this.

Power of accountability. We started a Celebrate Recovery program. Santa Cruz is where I pastored about 12 and a half years. I mean, if you had an addiction, we had you in our church.

I mean, it's a wild, crazy, crazy place. And so we started this, and this guy I never met came up afterwards, and he had a notebook in his hands that says, excuse me. I said, hi. He said, could I do my fourth step with you? And I said, I don't know what the fourth step is.

He said, well, I go to the Celebrate Recovery here, and it was on Friday nights, and a whole group of people that, you know, they hadn't made it quite to church yet, and they were making a lot of progress, and, you know, doing worship, and God was working, and I thought, you know, I should know more about this. So I said, sure. He said, well, it'll take two hours. I said, well, you know, why don't you get with my assistant?

We'll figure it out. So we blocked off from two to four, and later that week he came in, and he came in over and sat down. He goes, I mean, no, like, hey, how you doing?

Are you ready? I said, yeah. I said, exactly what is the fourth step? It says it's a total moral inventory where I go back through my life and try and discern, and I've asked, you know, it's not the higher power here.

We believe Jesus is the higher power. He is my God, and I've asked God to reveal to me anything I've ever done to hurt anyone at any time, and I want to own the responsibility for what I've done and stop blaming anything or anyone including God, and you've got to get specific. I said, okay.

And he had, you know, a yellow pad, all handwritten. He goes, when I was seven years old, he started, when I was 11 years old, and I mean, he told me stuff I'm thinking, I would not, I mean, you know, and I'm thinking, here, I'm a pastor of a church. I have staff meetings. We talk about vulnerability, and, you know, I'm thinking, I think we're doing like a C- in terms of honesty and vulnerability compared to this guy, and that's why the secrets get out and strongholds are broken. We need one another.

Well, if we agree we need one another so much, we know it works. Question, why don't more believers have authentic biblical accountability that allows you to sustain the discipline and the arenas that God is revealing to you that you know you want, and you long for him to change in you. And I would like to give you five reasons why accountability is essential for spiritual success. And what you're going to find is we're going to start right where we were in the last passage. I'm going to make the case that the Apostle Paul, one of the greatest Christians, if not the greatest Christian of all time, is going to say, here's my greatest desire and here's my greatest fear, and his greatest fear is that he would blow it. And then he's going to teach us through 1 Corinthians chapter 10 the necessity and the reasons for biblical accountability, and then at the very end I'm going to say, okay, I mean, you know, have you ever had someone say, you know, I think they're trying to sell me, I think they're trying to persuade me right now, you know, but I'm not sure. I want you to know, I am.

I mean, all, you know, no holes barred. I'm going to try and convince you from Scripture, and I pray the Spirit's energizing power in his word. When I get done in about 20 minutes going through these passages, I hope you'll go, I've got to have biblical accountability. I mean, whatever it takes, I've got to have it.

And then I'm going to give you just a little game plan, some practical ways to get it operational, and then the ball's in your court. All right, here we go. Five reasons accountability, biblical accountability, is essential for spiritual success. Number one, because we never outgrow the need for personal accountability. We never outgrow the need for personal accountability.

And you say, Chip, where do you get that? Well, let's listen one more time to what the apostle Paul said. He says, verse 24 of chapter 9 of 1 Corinthians, Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you win. And everyone who competes in the games, those Olympic games, exercises, discipline, or self-control in all things.

Well, they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we do it in imperishable. Therefore, application, I run in such a way, not without aim, I box in such a way as not beating the air, clear-cut goal. I buffet my body and I make it my slave, discipline, lest possibly, after I preach to others, I myself should be disqualified. Paul's greatest desire, great use for Christ. Paul's greatest fear, I think I might myself get disqualified. I'll get off track.

You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We'll get back to our series, Balancing Life's Demands, in just a minute. But first, if this teaching has ministered to you, consider becoming a monthly partner. Your regular financial support goes a long way to help us encourage pastors, create resources, and share Jesus with today's youth.

Visit LivingOnTheEdge.org to learn how to support us. Well, with that, here again is Chip. Here's the principle, if Paul had those concerns, how much more should we? I'm thinking to myself, can you imagine, I mean, if it was possible, can you just imagine, what if the apostle Paul just showed up in the flesh?

And can you imagine sitting down across from him? It would never enter my mind that this guy down deep in his heart is concerned that someday, someway, through subtle deception, he might no longer be God's man and walk with him. But that's what he's telling us, right here. Leaders are among the most susceptible. And by the way, the more responsibility one gets, the more accountability that you need. Leaders have more time alone than others. And the more you lead, and by the way, it can be in your family, it can be in your church, it can be in your company. People start assuming, you've been in the Lord a long time, people go for you for wisdom and this and that. No one asks you the hard questions anymore.

In fact, it would be embarrassing to ask some of you people the hard questions because, I mean, you're so mature, you're so godly, you would never have those thoughts, right? Wrong. And so we never outgrow the need for personal accountability. The greater the responsibility you have, either spiritually, family-wise. And by the way, when I say leaders, ladies, don't click into that. Some of you will, you know, I do most of my leading at home. Is that not like the most important leadership role? Isn't that all future generations?

So, you know, I need this, you need this. There's great pressure as you lead, and therefore great opportunity for compromise. So the first reason is you never outgrow it. The second reason that we need biblical accountability for spiritual success is because past successes are no guarantee of future faithfulness.

Past successes. I mean, and this is very subtle. I've been walking with God for years and I read my Bible, I pray, I go to church, my family's done this and, you know, you know what? I mean, I'm a man or, you know, I have a few little struggles here and there, but I'm not having big problems with the internet. I mean, hey, you know, lighten up, guy.

I mean, I'm just, I'm okay. Past successes are no guarantee of future faithfulness. And you say, well, where do you get that? I get it from what Paul said. After Paul just finishing telling me I'm afraid I might blow it, he reaches back into the Old Testament. And he's going to go back and look at, wow, let's take a look at the Israelites and let's get some lessons from them about people that had some pretty cool experiences.

I mean, they had some past success. How would you like to be on the, I went through the Red Sea team and got a T-shirt at the end. Hey, I was there. Or the, I was on the Manna team, 40 years, you know, a little picture over here, you know, a little logo that says, you know, I ate special kind of bread for 40 years and never.

Or how about I was on the, I watched Corey get swallowed up, you know, on team, you know, remember that part or remember, or maybe the group that has a little insignia of a snake. Remember when those people were grumbling and the serpents and I mean, oh yes, I was on the fire by night and the Shekinah glory by day team. Do you realize how many amazing, overwhelming, supernatural experiences the children of Israel had?

I want to tell you something, but write this down. Your spiritual experiences will not sustain you. God's works will not sustain you.

Only his ways will sustain you. And this is in the notes, but jot down Psalm 103, seven, after that great introduction about not forgetting and blessing the Lord. There's almost a weird verse because like, where does this fit? It's the hinge of that Psalm. And after it talks about remembering all of God's works, his works, his works, his works, his works. And then after verse seven, it's all about his character, his faithfulness, his love, as far as the East is from the West, you know, all that. There's this funny verse.

He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the sons of Israel. God's acts, you know, he healed your boy of cancer. They came through the car wreck.

You didn't go into bankruptcy. I mean, these amazing acts, we could pile them up. God's done so many things and yet two months later, two years later, you have a crisis.

What happens? Oh God, where are you? It's no different than the Red Sea and the manna and the serpents and all the rest. It's his ways that sustain you. That's why Moses wasn't saying, God, give me one more great experience. He said, Lord, I want to see your glory. I want to know you. I want to know what you're like.

I want to know your heart. So he reaches back in the Old Testament and notice the connecting word for. He's giving a reason. He says that I should be disqualified because Paul's looking back and saying, if those people with those amazing experiences can get disqualified, who am I? He says, for I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud. They all passed through the sea and they were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and the sea. And they all ate the same spiritual food, the manna, and they drank the same spiritual drink. For they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them and the rock was Christ.

Underline the next word. Nevertheless, nevertheless, with most of them, God was not well pleased, for they were laid low in the wilderness. Walking with God in the past is no guarantee that you'll walk with him in the future. Yesterday's experiences do not make you useful for tomorrow. There is no such thing as spiritual autopilot. We now have, eh, we're at 30,000 feet, if you can lean back, put up your sleigh tray, boop, you will walk with God until you die.

Wrong. You're either growing or shrinking spiritually. For all of us, you could tell me stories of some of your great heroes, a pastor, a mentor, a church leader, that, I mean, you just, I mean, somewhere in your spiritual journey, they were like, whoa, hey, someday, some way, I want to be. And right now, they're a moral failure, right? And you, we all have at least one, I've got more than a few, of people that I will tell you far more gifted than me, love God far more than me, who are not only not in the ministry, but they're not married to the same person or involved in horrendous things.

I mean, there's people that have led thousands of people to Christ and had amazing impact, who somewhere along the line thought there was a new set of rules for them. Doesn't really apply to me. I'm under a lot of pressure.

I have a little more freedom than other people. And, boy, it's sad. The third reason is because we constantly underestimate the power of our own sinful passions. I mean, it begs the question, well, how? How can some of the most committed, gifted people in all the body of Christ, both in Bible times and our times, how in the world can you get off track? And hopefully in your heart of hearts you're saying, I don't ever want to get off track and I don't know how I could get off track, but, gosh, if Paul thinks he could get off track and if all those people, the nation of Israel got off track and some people that were my heroes got off track, I guess I could. But how?

I mean, what happens? You and I underestimate the power of our own sinful passions. So let me ask you, do you have genuine, authentic relationships to keep you personally accountable? I mean, I use the illustration of David, a man after God's own heart, I mean, a man who knew God's Word, a man that God used to actually speak God's Word to us.

If he can blow it in the right circumstances at a weak time in a moment where his guard is down, that's true of all of us. And so I want to ask you two questions. Number one, where are you most vulnerable? And number two, do you have at least one person in your life? Let them see the good, the bad, and the ugly. Know that you will not be judged and get the secrets out and say, I need help. Will you help me keep my commitments to God? Do you have that person in your life?

We all need that person. Otherwise, you do slip, you do struggle. It starts with a little thought. It starts with just an idea. And then it begins to germinate in your heart. And then you act on it in some very small little way.

And maybe it's a visual issue or a financial issue or, you know, a coveting issue. And then it starts to grow inside your heart and inside your mind. And then the enemy creeps in and begins to bring the condemnation. And you call yourself a Christian and then begins to entice what could happen and how sweet it would be and what you can have. And I will tell you, in a period of days and weeks and months, you can have an interior and an exterior life that are going two completely different directions. And then you think it could never happen to you.

You would never seriously do that, whatever that is. And yet you find you make a mistake in a moment of weakness with the right circumstances that destroys your life, destroys your relationships, mars God's reputation. And so I appeal to you today, what is the area where you're most vulnerable? Is it lust to the flesh? Is it lust to the eyes? Is it the pride of life? I mean, is it the wanting of more?

Is it work? Is it money? Is it sex?

Or is it being a big shot? I don't know what it is. We all struggle. Identify it today and then find one close friend. Maybe you even have to make a phone call. Maybe it's an old college roommate.

Maybe it's a pastor that you had at the last church. Find someone that you can be honest with today and say, here's what's going on in my life. I just needed to share it openly. I've asked God to forgive me. Will you help me keep my commitments to God? Confess your sins to one another, James says, that you might be healed.

The only thing that keeps me from doing this personally is my pride, my pride that I don't want anyone to think that I would, quote, still struggle in that area or in that way. But grace flows toward humility. Humble yourself, therefore, into the mighty hand of God that He could lift you up. He wants to help you today. Deal with it.

You'll be glad you did. Great word, Chip. And before we go on, this is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And you've been listening to part one of Chip's message, How to Keep First Things First, from our series, Balancing Life's Demands. Do you long to get out from under the pressure to do more, have more, and achieve more? In this ten-part series, Chip provides practical biblical steps to help you move your life from chaos to contentment. You'll discover what it means to prioritize your hopes around God's hopes for your life, and how to not only put first things first, but keep them there. To learn more about this series, go to LivingOnTheEdge.org.

That's LivingOnTheEdge.org. Well, Chip's still with me in studio, and Chip, before we go, you wanted to say something about our year-end match that we've been talking about the last several weeks. Well, Dave, I just wanted to pause. I mean, to really pause and tell you from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You know, every time a person makes a financial gift, a spiritual transaction occurs.

In other words, something actually happens in a person's heart. And I speak to those of you who gave. You gave.

You responded. You invested in Living on the Edge. And I want you to know that as you've invested, we're going to invest in the lives of people here and all around the world. It really matters, and we are super grateful. Thank you, each one of you who prayed and said, Lord, what do you want me to do?

And then you followed his lead. Thank you so very much for hearing from God, responding to God, and for being so generous. And let me add my thanks too.

We truly celebrate every gift we've received and are excited to see how God uses it to motivate Christians to really live like Christians. So thanks again for your support. As we close, if you're looking for a way to get more out of our teaching, let me encourage you to download Chip's Message Notes.

Now, this helpful tool is available for every program. They include a clear outline, all the Scripture references, and lots of fill-ins to help you remember and apply what you hear. Get them at livingontheedge.org, under the Broadcasts tab, App Listeners tab, fill-in notes. Well, be sure to join us next time as Chip continues his series, Balancing Life's Demands. Until then, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.