I Choose Love - Love Obeys, Part 1

Only God can change a life, but He never chooses to change it alone. There's a God part, and there's a your part. The question is, how do those fit together? What's your part? What's His part?

That's today. Thanks for joining us today as we're a little over halfway through our series, I Choose Love, How to Build Lasting Relationships. For the last handful of programs, Chip's been teaching through Philippians Chapter 2, unpacking the foundational behaviors of love, and how we can apply them to our relationships. If you've missed any part of this series, catch up anytime through LivingOnTheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram app. Today Chip dives into the complex balance between our free will and God's authority, and what this has to do with love. And to help you better understand where Chip's going, let me encourage you to download his message notes. They contain his outline, scripture references, and much more.

They're free under the broadcasts tab at LivingOnTheEdge.org. App listeners, tap fill in notes. Okay, if you have a Bible, open now to Philippians Chapter 2 for Chip's message, Love Obeys. I want to share a leadership lesson that I learned many, many years ago that really reshaped my life, and it's one that I have to keep on learning. On the very front of your notes, you'll notice I've written, our expectations powerfully shape our relationships and our responses. Circle the word expectations. Our expectations, they're so subtle.

We have them often we don't even know what they are. I grew up in a home, and no ladies feel guilty, but my mom was really into breakfast. At about 6.15 or 6.30, I could smell bacon and eggs every single morning, and our whole family ate breakfast together.

It was really wonderful. Well, I got married, and I don't know why, but I just expected that we would have breakfast every morning. And I, early in our marriage, after our honeymoon, I came home and said, breakfast. And she goes, well, the cereal's up there. I think there's smoke in the refrigerator, and go to it. It was like, what?

I mean, you don't understand. It was just like, now we never talked about, now when we get married, you've got to fix breakfast. Safe to say, we don't do breakfast in our house quite like my mom. By contrast, my wife had a father who was very handy. He could fix just about anything. The car, the gas, the motor, and so she actually had this expectation that me being a man, and her father being a man, that the car would be filled with gas.

If it didn't work, I could fix it. And there's a carburetor in here somewhere, you know. I knew nothing. And she was like, now I could give you a hundred other expectations that aren't trivial, that have caused really painful issues, but here's what I want you to get. Notice in your notes, our personal history is paramount in forming our expectations. She thinks every husband can fix cars because her dad did.

I thought every woman cooks breakfast because my mom did. Your personal history, it just loads you up with a set of expectations. Now if we do that in our relationships with people, imagine how we do that in our relationships with God. Two critical questions emerge when we think about God and expectations. The first is, what can we expect of God? And the second, what does God expect of us? I mean, what can we expect of God? Some people come from backgrounds that we can expect that God will make life happy and wonderful, will be healthy, wealthy, wise, if we just believe that just love Jesus, and your life is going to be great and trouble-free. And so when trouble comes, they really wonder, where's God?

There's another group of people that are really super sober, and it's going to be hard, and it's all about suffering, and like God brings blessing into their life, and it's like they feel guilty when good things happen. So the question I want to ask you is, what's your expectations of God? What do you expect of Him?

And are you ready to flip it over? Have you ever thought seriously about what God expects of you? And just like our personal history shapes our expectations with one another, history itself shapes our expectations, depending on our backgrounds, of how we think God's going to respond. What does He want? What does He give? How do we receive it? How do you know when you're okay with God?

What's God's part in this relationship, and what's my part? And then notice on the bottom of your notes, I want you to write this word in, remember, our history always shapes our expectations, and historically, people have answered those two questions very, very differently. With that, open your notes if you would, and I'm going to give you a very brief history lesson that if you are strong in either one of these camps, you'll be frustrated. I'm purposely going to sort of push or polarize to the extremes of two historical positions. In the 16th century, John Calvin was a great, great theologian. In Geneva, he began to teach, and there was a whole goal of what it would be like for a Christian city, and he had a very strong view of God and about His sovereignty and His power.

But it was pushed to extremes by some of his followers, and so about 80 or 90 years later, a fellow named Jacob Arminius came along, and he said, boy, you know, we've strayed beyond the Bible, and so he began to teach some things. And so what you have is two basic camps, and I'm going to push the extremes, so if you are a Calvinist, you'll say, he's not representing us well. I understand that. If you're more Arminian, you're going to say, he's not representing us well either. Good.

Both will be unhappy with me. What I want to do is show you the extremes because you have been impacted historically. You have certain expectations about what God is asking of you. If you come from a, let me just call it a hyper-Calvinistic background, you believe God is sovereign and in control. You believe that He's predestined and predetermined just about everything in life.

You focus on verse 13 of Philippians 2, it is God who is at work. In extreme Calvinism, God not only chooses people for heaven, He chooses people for hell, so it's called double predestination. And so you actually had people in churches going, I believe I've been chosen by God to honor His name to hell. I mean, it was crazy, but it was this idea that since we can have no part in our salvation, it is all of God with no sense of our responsibility.

It was this extreme that turned into fatalism. You were eternally secure and a hyper, hyper-Calvinist would say in terms of our responsibility, just let go and let God. In essence, whatever's going to happen is going to happen.

The joke when you tease hyper-Calvinists is when they trip, they get up and say, I'm glad that's over. Think about it, it'll come to you. Arminius, by contrast, said, no, no, no, no, it's, yeah, God is sovereign, but we're responsible, we have a free will, we make choices. He emphasizes the verse 12, work out your salvation. Our choices have consequences. Therefore, as a result of it, if you came from this side, eternity's not certain. You know, you might be a good Christian for a while, but if you mess up, you're out.

Finally, the idea is let's go and let's get with it. I jotted down a couple thoughts. If you're a Presbyterian, Anglican, mini-Baptist, a lot of Bible churches are reformed in your tradition, strong Calvinistic roots. If you are Methodist, Wesleyan, Nazarene, Charismatic, Foursquare, Assembly of God, Church of Christ, strong Arminian roots.

Notice in your notes, here's what I want to get. God's word rejects both extremes and holds God's sovereignty and man's responsibility in biblical tension and balance. In other words, if you read through the scriptures, what you find is the Bible's really clear. God is sovereign, God is in control. The Bible's really clear.

You are absolutely responsible and will be held accountable for your choices. And you say, well, how can that be? The answer is I don't know.

But what I'm going to go on record to say is no one else knows either. But what happens is people tend to go one direction or another. And so if you're reading through the book of Acts, if you're a strong Calvinist, it says, And as many as were appointed to eternal life believed. And you say, see, they were appointed. Except if you read the next chapter, it says, And Paul spoke so persuasively, a great number believed.

Which is true, both. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Before we hear the rest of Chip's message, let me remind you that we are a listener supported ministry. Your financial gifts help us create this program, develop new resources, and encourage pastors globally.

Prayerfully consider supporting us today, then go to livingontheedge.org to give a gift. Thanks so much for your help. Well, here again is Chip. Here's the tension I want you to get. You can develop systems that can remove one or the other.

But both are true. Imagine, if you will, a telephone pole. And imagine guide wires into those cables pulling on each end.

And there's deep stakes. And this is the sovereignty of God. And this is the responsibility of man.

And if there's slack or you remove one of those cords, you go to extremes. And push to its practical end, you become passive, let go, let God, whatever it's going to be is going to be. Or the other way, you get guilt ridden, and no matter how much you do, God's not in control. If I forgot one time to share my faith, that person may go to hell because I didn't do my part.

The whole world is on me. What I want you to know is the Apostle Paul, interestingly, he did this in chapter 1, remember? He said, I'm confident he's going to be executed.

I'm confident of this. This is what's going to turn out for my deliverance. Your prayers. Oh, man's responsibility and the provision of the Spirit of God, God's sovereignty. He now in verse 12 says, So then, my beloved, just as you always circle the word obeyed, the word obeyed in the New Testament, sometimes we feel like I think our English and our background obey is like ought, should, gotta. And it certainly has that thrust, but the word is hupo, to be under, akuo, to hear.

Like you have an acoustic guitar, that's where we get our word. To obey is to be under the hearing of God. Lord, what would you have me to do? It's a relationship I want to follow, and when you speak about any area, I want to listen in order not to just know, but to obey. So he says to them, my beloved, just as you always obeyed, not just in my presence, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation.

Would you circle that phrase with fear and trembling? Work out is a mining term. It's literally like if you owned a gold mine, it's work your claim. Continue mining the riches of what God has done. When the Spirit of God came into your life, when you turned from your sin and received Christ, all the spiritual blessings in heaven were deposited in you. You were sealed with the Spirit.

You have an inheritance. He's saying, okay, now what I want you to do is I want you to work out what God has worked in. Notice it doesn't say work for your salvation.

You can't earn it. Work out, in other words, I want you to cooperate, and just like if you owned a gold mine, that gold does nothing under the ground. And he says you cooperate with God, work out your salvation, and notice with a sense of reverential awe, this is a precious, amazing gift, your salvation. Don't let it sit there.

Don't be passive. Sometimes when people talk about grace, they think of grace is the opposite of effort. The Bible says we make every effort to walk with God.

The Bible talks about the grace of God teaches us to say no to all ungodliness and live sober, disciplined lives. It takes great effort. The opposite of grace is not effort. The opposite of grace is merit.

Merit is earning something. And Paul is saying to these people that are having some disunity issues, people that are being persecuted, he says, you know, I don't know if I'm going to live or not, but whether I get to see you and live or I die, I want you to keep on obeying. I want you to love one another. I want you to choose to look up when circumstances are bad. I want you to care for one another.

I want you to be generous. In persecution, I want you to be faithful. So work out your salvation God's worked in.

That's your responsibility. Notice verse 13, the little word for, it means the reason. Why should you work this out for God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure? Would you circle the word to work and then underline will and good pleasure? This word for work is a very interesting word. I did a word study on it. We get our word energy.

It's never used in the New Testament to describe human power. 100% of the time, it is the power of God. It's a word that means effective action. It describes action that always achieves its desired end, results or purpose.

In ancient Greece, it was a demonstration of inner character that always led to an outward virtue. And in summary, he's saying for God who is at work, He is energizing by His power working in you in spirit, both to will, His purpose to create both the desire and the power. So God's sovereign.

I'm responsible. God has gifted me sheerly by His grace, this new life in His spirit. It is a riches that I now live out and I mind my claim. And so to work out, grace has been given and I could say, all the truth of life is in this book and I could hand you this book.

And you could take this book and you could set it on your desk and you could never open it. And you could say, I just don't know what to do. I don't have any truth. I don't know what to do about marriage. I don't know what to do about parenting. I don't know what to do about my money. I wonder what's going to happen to the end of the world. And all the while, all the riches and all the truth is on your desk. God will not read this for you. Okay? But you have it.

And it's the same. In other words, work out. So the disciplines of being in God's word, the discipline of praying, the discipline of being in community and doing life and being honest and supportive and accountability, the disciplines of suffering, the disciplines of some things take time, and the disciplines of serving one another, when you, are you ready? When you practice those things, it's like, imagine tubes coming from this great lake of heaven. You're accessing the grace of God. And as you practice those things, the apostle Paul says, Christ is being formed in you. It's a metaphor of a baby growing to a toddler, to a teenager, to a mature adult. And he says, our part is to utilize the truth, the word, prayer, the Lord's Supper, relationships, to access the grace to mind this new life that's been a free gift. Does that make sense?

History lesson is over. But I do want you to know that it seeps in everywhere, because what happens is, is that I came up around a group, you came up around a group, and these groups have thoughts about the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of men. And I will just say, you know, some of you struggle with guilt, because no matter how much you do, it's never enough. Because you live with this, you know, there's never enough, God's down on you. Now that's extreme, that's not what should be taught. Some of you are like laid back to the point of, you're not doing what you need to, but you have this subtle of, God's in control.

He really is in control, but that doesn't excuse you. And so what you want to do is you want to say, I don't want what Calvin taught, and I don't want what Jacob Arminius taught, I want what Jesus taught, I want what the New Testament says, I want what the word of God says. And there's going to be certain times and certain passages, I've been doing this for quite a while, I don't fully understand, I don't think anyone fully understands, but I've got plenty of truth to know this, I will stand before God as a follower of Jesus and give an account for my time, my energy, my money, and my decisions. And I've been around long enough to know this, is that despite my mistakes, my difficulties, the times even that I've sinned, the times when I knew what was right, and I didn't even do it, there's this patient, kind, loving, sovereign God that's working even those difficulties and things that people have done to me in circumstances I can't understand, because he's such a, are you ready? Good, good Father. This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to part one of his message, Love Obeys, from our series, I Choose Love.

Chip will be back shortly to share some helpful application for us to think about. You know, one of the greatest delights of God's heart is to witness his children, those of us who call him Lord, loving one another. But as we all know, that's easier said than done, and doesn't always come naturally to us. In this short study, Chip walks through four characteristics of love laid out for us in Philippians chapter two. Discover how to apply these truths to your relationships with others and God so you can love more and love better. To listen to this entire series, visit livingontheedge.org or the Chip Ingram app. Well, I'm joined in studio now by Chip, and Chip, before we go any further, you had a really important question to ask our listeners.

Thanks, Dave. Before we get to some application on today's message, let me ask you a question. Do you struggle to understand how to communicate your faith to your teen, your young adult, or your grandchild?

Maybe it's hard for you to connect on a meaningful, spiritual level in today's hypersensitive and divisive culture. Well, I want you to know at Living on the Edge, help is on the way. I can't encourage you strongly enough to order a copy of Aaron Pierce's new book, Not Beyond Reach. We had the great opportunity to partner with him to publish this book and make it available to you.

I've read a lot about the next generation, about the issues, the problems, but I have never been associated with any group that is actually reaching teens and young people, young adults, far from God, who look at the world so differently than most of us. This book is a game changer. Dave, please let people know how they can get it today. Thanks, Chip. To get your hands on this brand new book, Not Beyond Reach, visit LivingOnTheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram app. Discover the simple process you can follow to share the Gospel with those who question or outright reject Jesus. Place your order for this insightful new book, Not Beyond Reach, by going to LivingOnTheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram app. Well, with that, here's Chip to share a few final words for us to think about. As we wrap up today's program, let me ask you, which of those historical experiences or perspectives would you honestly say has kind of influenced the way that you see God the most?

I mean, what's impacted you? We've all grown up around people and a view of God and Christian groups, and what I find honestly is that there's great strengths in all these different camps and really good godly people. So here's the issue. If in fact God is sovereign and we are responsible, what does it look like to be a follower of Christ that's relational, that's grace-oriented, but where we're responding? And I would suggest that the apostle Paul, who talked more about the sovereignty of God than anyone else, especially in Romans, he actually tells us this is who God is and this is all he's done, and then he flips the script because he's perfectly divinely balanced and says, okay, chapter 12 through the end of the book is this is what your life looks like when you're responding in faith and obedience. And in verse 1 of chapter 12, he says it means that you're fully, completely surrendered to God. In verse 2, he's going to tell you they're separate from the world's values. And then in verse 3 through 8, he'll talk about having an honest or sober self-assessment about who you are, your strengths, your weaknesses, and how God's made you to serve him in love. And so the whole chapter is a snapshot or a picture of what does it look like to be a mature believer?

What is God's part and what is our part? Could I encourage you to just as a matter of balance to today, open Romans chapter 12, and in your heart of hearts say, Lord, I know that I'm responsible and I know that you're absolutely sovereign. And as I read this chapter, would you help me become more and more the man or the woman that you want me to become? I want to reflect the very love and the character of Jesus. And I think you'll experience the special grace of God that allows you not to get too hung up on all that you do, and not be too laid back about all he does. Thanks, Chip. Well, if you'd like to develop a deeper relationship with Jesus, check out Chip's series, True Spirituality, Becoming a Romans 12 Christian. Through his teaching, you'll discover a clear blueprint to become a genuine follower of Christ. Learn more about this series by going to specialoffersatlivingontheedge.org or on the Chip Ingram app. Well, join us next time as Chip continues his series, I Choose Love. Until then, I'm Dave Drouie, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.