God's Boundaries for Abundant Living - Declaring War on Deceit, Part 2

What has the power to destroy your relationship with God, your relationship with others, and even your relationship with yourself?

I'm going to tell you what it is and how you can overcome it today. Stick around. We left off last time in our series, God's Boundaries for Abundant Living, by continuing to talk about the problem of deceit. But let me ask you, is lying always a black and white issue? Aren't there some gray areas where we can tell a little white lie?

Well, Chip's going to tackle those questions today. So if you have a Bible, go down to Exodus chapter 20, verse 16, for the remainder of his talk, Declaring War on Deceit. I had two buddies that we decided that we were going to go to the next level spiritually. We just had that chemistry within our staff, and we worked very closely together, and we came together and we made a covenant. And we made a covenant that we were going to, I mean, deal with some issues in our life we really wanted to grow, bar nothing. I mean, this thing was growing and blowing and multiplying, and we realized the worst thing that could happen is if one of us went south morally. And whether it was in our integrity, our speech, our sexuality, and we just said, you know what, let's covenant together to be like honest, like never before, accountability. And we each shared one area that we felt God really wanted us to develop and grow in.

And so I shared mine with these couple guys. And mine was, I have this personality type, you let the experts figure it out, but I'm a people person. I get energized by people. Like after tonight, honestly, if I wasn't so tired, I could sit and drink coffee 28, 30 hours with people at 15 minute increments and just hear about your life, and it would just jazz me.

I just love it. I just love being around people. But I have this other part that is very task oriented, that's like, hey, let's get things done, and there's the goal, and let's make it happen.

And so around people and things like this, I'm real like people oriented, and when I get in meetings, like meetings, I want short, focused, bottom line, prepared, get it done. This is mine. I got mine done.

I need to do this. I need this from you. What about you? What about you? What about you? Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Let's go, you know. And so it's kind of, I forget, someone says high D, whatever that means. And what would happen is, is that I would get in a management team meeting, and I would be this chip, hey, having fun with everyone. Then we'd get in the meeting, we'd have the agenda, and we'd get it laid out, and I'd get this tone in my voice that was like, get with the program.

And I was unaware of how that was affecting a couple staff members in the group. And so these two close brothers said, you know that time when you said we want to shoot it straight and really love one another and all that? Well, we now have a chance to practice this. And I said, well, great, how are you two doing on it?

No, it's not with us, it's with you. And they said, you know, we understand you and we know, but people are getting a double message. They feel like you really care and love them. And then in those meetings, your intensity is so high that they just can't quite get you. And that tone of voice, there's an edge to it. And it makes people feel like they've messed up and there's something wrong with them.

And Chip, you need to change that. Okay, thanks, guys, I really, I'm gonna, okay, man, we said covenant, ooh-hoo, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do that. So I go to a management team meeting about two days later and I have a doctor's appointment. I blew out my knee and this guy was gonna get it fixed up and I'm driving. And as I'm driving, I realize my peace is gone. I mean, I can't remember, I don't remember saying something bad, I can't remember doing something wrong, but it's just the peace is gone. And so, you know, when you drive in the car, I like to pray or maybe sing some songs and it's just like, I feel like I'm in this tin can alone and I'm in the car and God's not.

And it's like, bummer. So I'm thinking, you know, I'm getting real smart at this age. Hey, God, is there something wrong, you know, maybe somewhere, somehow, some way?

You know, could you tell me like real gently? And it's like the Lord said, yeah, as a matter of fact, it's like he pushed a little videotape. And it's like I could watch myself in this meeting. And in my mind, I mean, I felt great about everybody and I got to see the level of intensity and the couple of expressions.

Oh, man, that's what they were talking about. I did it again. And on the way back from the doctor, you know, I just stopped and got on my phone and called both those guys and I said, hey, guys, was there any chance that what you asked me to correct that I did in this meeting? Because this is what happened and I think I offended so and so and so and so that meeting during this part and that part. And they said, well, we were going to talk to you when you got back. And I said, well, you don't need to. One, will you forgive me? And they said, yeah. And two, would you make sure those two people are available?

I'll be back in the office in about 15 minutes. I need to apologize to them. I had another little trip that day.

I just was singing in the car. Why? Integrity and honesty allow you to have a rich, intimate, deep relationship with God and allows you to be at peace with yourself. The lack of integrity, the lack of honesty with God, yourself and others destroys your relationship with God. It will destroy your relationship with yourself and finally, it destroys your relationship, can you write the word in?

You know it, don't you? With others. It destroys your relationship with others. Proverbs 25, 26 says, like a muddled spring or a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked. A righteous man, a man like Abraham does what? He lies about his wife to a king and then he does what to the relationship with the king? He says, Abraham, man, what are you doing to me here? I can't believe it. I could be in big trouble and you lied to me. He alienates his relationship through a lie with the king and I don't know about you, I don't have a lot of record, I'm not sure Sarah's real happy for at least a few months.

I think this year my sister stuff's growing pretty old. Can you imagine going to bed one night in the harem and going, well I guess Abraham, whatever you say. You know, like where's the real man in my life? Well why did he do it? Because he was afraid, because he was insecure. Or, you know, remember Joshua 7? Talk about destroying relationships with others. Remember Achan and his lie?

Did that have any impact on the people close to him? It's lethal. See you never sin in a vacuum. Sins are like pebbles or boulders depending on the sin, the time, the place and the impact. And they go into the water of life and then the ripples go out from them.

And that's why it's so critical to be a man or a woman of integrity. I love the word picture here, in the ancient Near East a muddled spring or a polluted well. He's giving us a word picture. A trampled spring literally is, if you've ever been to Israel, I've only been once but I really want to go back. But whatever the picture I had in my mind, it wasn't like it when I went there. When I got there it was like, a lot of it looks like desert.

I mean it's like really dry. You can understand why Jesus used the metaphors about water. Where there's water, there's life and if there's not water, there's death. And so what they would have is they would have an oasis or a spring and people would come from miles with their animals. And everyone knew, I mean that's life right there. That's the spring. And so people were real careful with their animals and they would take turns.

Well if you were from out of town or far away, you didn't care about that spring. And a muddled spring, some people would drive their cattle or their camels through it and they would just go right through it and let the animals get in the water and the animals would defecate in it and urinate. Sorry to be a little graphic but you know it's good Old Testament history I'm giving you here.

And so I mean it would literally poison or ruin the water. And so people later that day would bring their cattle or camels to come to find life and instead what? Death. And he says that's what it's like when a woman of God or a man of God gives way before the wicked. You are the greatest Christian someone knows.

You're the greatest church member someone knows. And they watch your life and they watch your tongue and they watch your time and they watch your relationships. And when they come to find life from you but because of a lack of integrity, instead of finding life they find death. Do you see how it impacts others? This for me has been the most motivating passage for personal integrity in all of my life. I've just realized that especially in what we all do but especially in what I do people expect and should expect not at all a perfect life because they'd be.

My family could tell them I mean not even in the ballpark. Where what you say and how you say you live line up closely. Never perfectly the side of heaven but closely. But it can't be like this because people come to you and to me as believers to find life. And like a trampled spring or a well same picture that gets polluted so is a righteous man or a righteous woman who gives way before the wicked.

Our life by word or deed needs to reveal the righteousness of Christ. Okay you feel beat up enough yet? You know it's one thing to say you know I don't lie. Boy when you look at it like this are you ready to declare war in your personal life on deceit?

I mean even the white lies. Even when you're silent and you let some people believe stuff that you know isn't true. Are you ready at this point to say you know something time out from this day forward from this moment in this room I will be a man. I will be a student. I will be a woman who progressively lives and tells and speaks the truth. I will overcome my fear. I will overcome my insecurities. I will overcome the habit. I will overcome whatever causes me to not tell the truth because I've got to be a truth teller. And if so let me give you a game plan. Okay?

Got that pen out? Good. Let me give you five or six practical ways to become a truth teller. Number one consider the source of lies.

This is theological but it really helps me. Consider the source of lies. Satan is the father of lies. When I lie I am most like him.

You ever think about it that way? He's a liar from the beginning. There's no truth in him.

Aren't those the words of Jesus? When I lie, what is he? He is a deceiver. When I lie I'm never more like Satan than when I lie.

His whole strategy, this whole world system, this desire to wreck your life and wreck your marriage and wreck your future and give you a distorted picture about you and God and others and this whole plan to divide people and Christian organizations and churches. There is one strategically behind it and his major weapon is lying. When I lie I put on a jersey that has his number on the back. And when I think of it that way it motivates me to tell the truth. The second way is confession. Just admit it. God I have a problem here. Just admit it.

I have a problem. Confession. And by the way this deal of verbalizing it to other people when you blow it is a purifying habit.

It will really help you. It's one thing to say, oh God I lied I'm sorry. Now you never go tell someone you lied if it will do further damage here or there. But when God makes it clear that there's something to it that's more than your personal private confession and he makes it really clear you need to go ahead and fess up with another person in an appropriate way and you can't quite get peace.

Go do it. It will be so motivating for telling the truth in the future. Third step is to meditate on how God feels about lying. I mean sometimes I think it's just the world that we get thinking like God is the force. God is a person. God has feelings.

The scripture says lying is an abomination to him. He hates it. He hates it.

I mean would you want to do something that your husband hates or that your wife hates or that you knew every time you did it it cringes and makes your kids hate it or your closest friend? We need to meditate and realize we're not lying to an invisible timeless force who keeps the world spinning. God is a person. He has feelings. In fact he grieves. We said don't grieve the Holy Spirit. You know what grief is?

Grief is the feeling and emotion of pain and sorrow when someone has violated the relationship. It helps me to remember I don't want to make God sad. I don't want to make Jesus sad.

I don't want to break his heart. See it personalizes it. The Christian life isn't this set of principles and doing right and doing good and staying moral and trying to be nice and read your Bible and pray and give some money and go to church and try and live a good life. That is not the Christian life. The Christian life is a relationship with God through Christ that's vital and living and loving and a lot of that the overflow will be. You will want to read your Bible and you'll end up praying and you'll want to be with the fellowship of people and you'll want to share what he's given and it will change your morals. But you know what?

It's not fulfilling that list. It's about your heart fulfilling a relationship. It changes how you think of things. The fourth way is to pray specifically. I've gone through seasons where I've prayed Psalm 141 3. Lord put a guard over my lips.

And I've actually really seen him answer it but pray specifically. Lord I realize I tell white lies. Lord Jesus I want a covenant with you. Would you help me today to tell the truth? Lord just before a lie comes out of my mouth today would you put a guard over my lips? And I can't tell you how many times I've been in a situation someone has said something and my response has come directly to my mind. It gets right below my teeth and I'm just ready to say it and God says it's not true. And I go but I want to say it.

It makes me look good and it puts someone down and they made me mad yesterday and I didn't realize it until right now and I'd like to put them down. Don't say it. And it gets caught right between my teeth. And I can't help but believe that God just answered my prayer. Now you know what sometimes it gets caught right between my teeth and I say it anyway. And I got to repent and I got to go deal the deal. But I'm telling you as you pray specifically about lying God will give you a truthful lips and truthful heart.

And something very helpful number five is consider putting it in print. In the personal life because sometimes you lie in your motives. Sometimes things happen with people and it's not appropriate. It's just not appropriate to go talk to them.

You would make a bigger issue talking to them than dealing with it privately. And so you know it's not for everybody but I keep a journal. And when you know I write yesterday and I write kind of some general things about just yesterday in general where I'm at. But mine is a journal of the heart. I'm not trying to figure out what I did yesterday or this or that. And then you know I'll write Thanksgiving and I'll think of some things I'm thankful for.

And then often I'll have I put little boxes so I can put checks through them. God I'm trusting today will you please and I'll write down a few prayer requests. And then I'll often put a big C for confession. And then I'll just put my pen down and say Lord would you bring to my mind anything that you know would separate me from you.

And I just want to be clean today. And this is one where God just I think he delights to answer my prayers really quickly. And he'll just bring real vividly I'll remember a conversation and I tell you what this is really really purifying. Dear God I'm very sorry I didn't just exaggerate I lied to so and so in the meeting. He asked me about this and this is what I told him. And you know when you write it and you just see it in front of you it's like that is so ugly. But you know what I found? I found we usually gloss over that and we think well most Christians don't tell the whole truth anyway and you know God probably grades on the curve and no one's perfect and we continue to lie.

Put it in print. And then the last one here is invite ruthless accountability. Those couple guys wherever I've gone I've found some group somewhere with a level of chemistry connection and openness invite ruthless accountability. You got to have a couple people in your life of the same sex and obviously you need this at huge levels in your marriage those of you who are married. But you got to find some people because there's issues that men deal with that are different than women and there's issues that women deal with that are different than men. You need at least a couple people in your life where it is ruthless accountability.

Two things where you can shoot it so straight and they can call you on the carpet and the relationship is never at risk and the other is you can admit it so straight and what you don't get is condemnation. Oh how could a Christian like you ever think that thought? I mean I got enough of that going on inside my head. I need a couple guys that say Chip I'm going to love you no matter what and as a couple of them have said and by the way if you ever go down any of these paths and one of them is pretty big so help me I will physically I will just take you and you'll wish you never did. To which is I don't know if he'd really do that or not but I don't think I'm ever going to test the waters on that one. But you know what it is? He loves me. He just loves me and he wants me to know in sort of his old ex-football coaching lingo I will kick you from this side of the United States to the other if you ever do anything or violate this or don't tell me the truth. You know what a comfort it is?

I can go to that guy and in a three hour breakfast I started from my personal life to my marriage to my work and I went here's where I'm at man and he did the same. And I'll tell you what there's not many gifts that are sweeter or better than that person or two in your life. Find them. If you don't have it pray for them. Those are the kind of prayers God will answer. Ask God for those kind of people that you can say would you covet I want to be a truth teller and God will answer your prayer. Well God wants us to be truth tellers but there's four airtight truths you can't afford to be deceived on. I'm going to give you four airtight truths. God wants you to be a truth teller but as we end the ninth commandment he wants you to be a truth receiver. Airtight truth number one he wants you to receive. He wants you to believe this is the truth. God loves you and is pursuing an intimate relationship with you. Do you believe that?

Can you receive that? God loves you. He loves you. He's for you. He wants you.

He wants to have a relationship with you. You matter. You're important. You're unique.

You're special. That's the truth. The lie is you don't matter. The lie is you're too far gone. The lie is he doesn't care.

The lie he cares about people that are smarter, more intellectual, more spiritual, more moral, more something. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. This is the truth. God loves you tonight.

Right where you're at right as you are. Airtight truth number two, you are a sinner. You have lied. You have stolen. You have lusted. And you have disqualified yourself by your sin to have a relationship with God. I mean we're on command nine. If you haven't got it by now you're in total denial.

Alright? And we're all in this together. You're a sinner. And sinner's not like bad person. Sinner is a fall short person. You know, God says in the area of truth telling you have to score a hundred.

Never lie ever. If you don't score a hundred you fall short. You're a sinner.

You miss the mark. God says in the area of moral purity you have to score a hundred. Never lost any time, any way in your mind, thought, word or deed. God says in having no other gods before you, you always have to score a hundred.

Not even a little idol, not even a partial bad day or a bad thought. If you don't score a hundred on all ten commands, all times in your whole life, you are a sinner. And God is holy.

And here's what he says. Then you're disqualified by your sin to have a relationship with a pure and holy God. The lie is you're okay. The lie is that God will weigh your good deeds and your bad deeds. The lie is that some way, some time, maybe later when you think about it you'll deal with your sin problem.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Airtight truth number one, you are loved by God. Airtight truth number two, you are a sinner and you have disqualified yourself from a relationship with a holy God. Airtight truth number three, Jesus is God's one and only remedy for sin. He died to redeem and save your life from your sin now and forever.

Jesus died on the cross two thousand years ago. His blood was spilled to pay for your sin. All that you ever have committed, all that you ever will commit to redeem or literally buy you back so that you could have a relationship with God the Father based totally and completely on his work on the cross and resurrection. Airtight truth number one, you are loved by God. Airtight truth number two, you are a sinner and you have disqualified yourself from a relationship with God. Airtight truth number three, Jesus loves you and died in your place to purchase salvation for you. Airtight truth number four, how you respond to the top three truths will determine your eternity forever. You have just heard the four airtight truths that God wanted you to hear on this day because he cares about you.

He loves you. Your sin has caused you to miss the mark. Christ has by his work on the cross paid for your sin and risen from the dead to prove that it's true. And now you are at a crossroads. If you have never acknowledged before God that you have sinned, that you missed the mark, that you don't have a score of a perfect 100 on all 10 commands, then you, by virtue of your behavior and attitudes, are separated from God forever and ever. And God wants to solve that problem right now in your experience.

If you will say to him right now, wherever you are, stop. Lord God, I admit and confess that I have sinned, that I've fallen short. I repent. I want to turn from my life and my way.

And today I believe and trust that Jesus' death on the cross paid for my sin, that his resurrection proved that he was God and that it's true. And I now ask you, come into my life. Forgive me. Save me. I want to be your son.

I want to be your daughter. Pray that right now. Dear God, come into my life. Turn from your sin. Ask him to save you based totally on who Jesus is and what he did.

And at this moment, on this day, God will rescue you. He will forgive you. He will cleanse you.

And he will place his Spirit in you and give you new life. And Father, I pray that each person listening to my voice with the tug of war going on in their heart would turn from anything that would hold them back and just cast themselves upon you, turn from their sin, ask you to be their Savior, and Lord, that they would call either a pastor or the best Christian they know or some church that has the word Bible in it or they know is a strong Bible-teaching church, and they will say, help me, I just became a Christian. Almighty God, may you work with great, great power for your glory. Thank you for your forgiveness. In Jesus' name, amen.

Amen. If you just prayed with Chip, we have a free resource we'd like to put in your hands that was uniquely created for new believers. It's a tool that'll help you gain a clear biblical understanding of what it means to trust in Jesus. Request this free resource by calling us at 888-333-6003 or by visiting LivingOnTheEdge.org, then clicking the New Believers button.

That's LivingOnTheEdge.org or call 888-333-6003. Let us help you get started in your faith journey. Well, Chip's still with me here in studio, and Chip, before we go, we're in the heat of the summer. School's out, families are together and spending more time with one another. Talk a little bit about what parents can do to really engage with their kids on a spiritual level.

Well, great question, Dave. And I would just remind parents, you are the most influential person in your child's life. And if you will model living out your faith and if you will invest in your kids to help them understand first and foremost who is God, what is He really like? And I do understand it's hard to do family devotions every day, but let me give you a resource to really make this a special summer. It's called The Real God Family Devotional. It's a series of about seven very small little movies.

They're only three or four minutes long. It will capture your kids' attention and teach them about one attribute of God in a way they can really understand. And then for you as a parent, there'll be one verse and then some questions, and even for your older kids, some things you can text them throughout the week. But you can begin to help your kids understand that God is good, that God is loving, that God is just. And some of the biggest conversations about life and values and where the world is and the things you want to build into your kids' lives is giving them a high, clear, accurate view of a very loving, compassionate, and holy God.

We have seen God use this in such profound ways. Let me encourage you. Invest in your kids. It's called The Real God Family Devotional. Go online. Give us a call. Get it today. Start it this summer. Just do one each week.

And what I can tell you is you will make an investment in the lives of your children that can change the course of their life. Great challenge, Chip. To learn more about The Real God Family Devotional, visit SpecialOffersAtLivingOnTheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram app. Through this resource, Chip will explore seven key attributes of God revealed in Scripture.

Discover how knowing who God really is gives us purpose, security, and true joy in our lives. So if you're ready to transform your view of God, check out The Real God Family Devotional today by going to SpecialOffersAtLivingOnTheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram app. Hey, before we go, let me remind you of an easy way to listen to our extended teaching podcast. Hear Chip anytime on Amazon's Alexa Echo and Echo Dot. Just say, Alexa, open Living on the Edge, and you'll be able to enjoy that day's full-length teaching. Try it today. Well, for Chip and everyone here, this is Dave Drouie saying thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge. .