Share the Love - Why It's Hard to Share the Love, Part 1

Have you ever been in a situation where you got a very clear prompt from the Holy Spirit that He wanted you to tell the person next to you about Jesus, but you just couldn't muster up the courage? I struggle with the same thing.

Why? Because we tend to believe lies that keep us from sharing God's love. Today, I'm going to share with you what those lies are and how to overcome them. Stay with me. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The mission of these daily programs is to intentionally disciple Christians through the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. And today begins his series, Share the Love. For the next handful of programs, Chip describes the ways we can have easygoing conversations with others about Jesus that can open the door to more meaningful dialogues. Now, this is a really relevant topic Chip's diving into, so I hope you'll invite a few friends to listen to the series with you, either through the Chip Ingram app or livingontheedge.org. We all could use some encouragement to be bolder and more intentional when it comes to sharing our faith.

Chip's teaching will do just that, so let's jump right in as he kicks off our series with his message, Why It's Hard to Share the Love, from 2 Corinthians chapter 10. You know, I've learned something. I've observed it all my life. When you really love someone, or if you really love something, you just can't wait to share it.

Is that true? You know, you go to a great restaurant, you're with some friends, you go, oh man, we were at this place the other night. You've got to go there.

Or, you know, you get a new tablet, or you get some new shoes, and people, where'd you get, oh, you have got to get, and they're on sale. Advertisers know the greatest advertisement in all the world is word of, it's true. We always share what we love. And that's why, for me at least, sometimes it's really hard to understand why I don't share, or why it's hard to share the most important love relationship in my life. I mean, God saved me, forgave me, gave me a new life. And yet I find myself in situations where it's hard.

It's just hard to get over the hump to share with other people. His infinite grace and love, and offer forgiveness. Many years ago I had one of those experiences that stuck in your mind, and you get sort of an aha about maybe why you do certain things that you do. I met a guy named Steve, he was an all-American swimmer. I was coaching by day, and we were starting a little discipleship ministry on a campus by night. So I would go up and play basketball with guys like Steve, and we'd do Gospel of John studies. If I describe Steve to you, he was popular, he was a party animal, he was a number one athlete, he swore profusely, he was very in, he was very cool, he was very unreligious, and he was dating a beautiful girl who happened to be living right next door to me.

I lived in a garage apartment, and she lived next door, and I knew she lived there, and I knew they were girlfriend, boyfriend, because that's where he spent the weekends. And so, you know, here's a guy that's just like far from God, really arrogant, I'm really insecure, I'm thinking, I don't know who I'm going to share Christ with, but that's the last guy on this campus that would ever be open to hear about Christ. Is there anybody like that in your life?

Who's that person you think, you know what, they sort of got it, they would never need God. Well, he comes out of, it was like a Saturday morning one weekend, he comes out of her little house like this and goes, man, my back is killing me, because, you know, we played ball together, and, you know, we were friends, I never said anything to him. Friends, that's sort of a very general usage of that word, we were acquaintances. And I said, well, what's wrong? He said, man, my back is killing me. I said, why? He said, you know, sleeping on that couch. I said, sleeping on the couch, why? He said, all this amazing thing happened last weekend.

I said, what's that? My girlfriend, you know, her folks are kind of religious, and, you know, when you go to visit, you got to do whatever they do, so, you know, she lives out in the country in West Virginia, and we end up in this tiny little church, and 35 or 50 people, and some old gizzard gets up and opens the Bible, and I'm rolling my eyes, and, you know, he starts talking about stuff. And I can't explain it, but he's talking about sin, and lack of peace, and God's forgiveness, and Jesus being God, and dying in our place, and it was like, whoa, this dude is reading my mail, and all of a sudden I realized I want a need. Because when it got done, I just walked right up to the front, and I prayed to receive Christ. I mean, my life's different.

Oh, really? So, the next three or four months, I began to disciple Steve, and we became friends, and the very last blank, you know, I listed him, and the part I didn't list was the part I didn't know. He was totally open to Christ.

This is the most un-seeker, sensitive, uncool presentation of the gospel that God could probably ever put him in front of, but since the power's in the gospel, not in the presentation, and Steve was open, he trusted Christ, changed his life. And we got to be friends then, real friends, and Steve, I remember one day, he said, can I ask you something? I said, well, sure.

Let me get this right. You knew all about this Jesus, and forgiveness, and we played basketball, and we did this stuff together. Chip, why didn't you tell me? I mean, I don't know if there was ever a time where you felt like the spotlight was on you, and you just, there is like no place to hide, there is no excuse.

All I could say was, well, basically because I thought you were closed, I'm desperately insecure, and I was really intimidated. How's that for an answer? And what I've learned is the reason I didn't share the love of God with Steve is because I believed a lie. And I'm going to share with you seven specific lies that keep us who love Jesus, who have been saved by Jesus, whose lives have been changed by Jesus. There are seven strongholds or lies that we believe, and I've called them a stronghold because it's a biblical phrase. But the father of lies is Satan. And what he wants to do is get very subtle lies ingrained into your thinking, into your mind, where they're just the glasses that you look at other people with. And so over here, if you could imagine, there's this unlimited lake of grace, and over here you have this unlimited need of people and their struggles.

And you know what? There's a conduit, and the link of God's grace and love and forgiveness is the conduit of regular people like us. And so the enemy has developed different ways to get you and me to believe lies that keep us from taking that love and that grace and introducing these people to what God wants for them. Seven strongholds we must demolish daily. And I put daily in there because they're so ingrained, you have to kind of write these down and pound away and read them over and pray them through.

You might say, well, where do I get that? Second Corinthians 10, 4 and 5, the apostle Paul is speaking to the Corinthian church, and he says the weapons of our warfare or the weapons that we fight with are not of this world. We're in a spiritual battle for the souls of these people. On the contrary, the weapons we have have divine power to do what? Demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments in every pretension that's set up against the knowledge of God. And we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. These lies, these strongholds are raised up against the knowledge of God, these presuppositions, and we're sincere, but we look through a lens that keep us from loving people.

Stronghold number one we've already hit. It's that people aren't open. It's a lie. We believe. Now, it might not be a swimmer, it may not be an athlete, it might be someone with a PhD, it might be someone who drives a very nice car, it might be someone who seems very beautiful, it might be someone that you think has it all together, it might be someone who intimidates you, it might be someone who swears profusely, who makes fun of Christians, it might be something, but you think they're not open.

And because since they're not open, why talk to them, right? That was my theory. Jesus said this, do you not say four months more, then comes the harvest? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields.

They're ripe or white for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his wages and now he harvests the crop for eternal life. So that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. That's in John chapter four. Jesus has just shared Christ with a woman who's had five husbands. She's a Samaritan. So, I mean, they're all theologically, they're half-breeds, the Jews think they're not open. Her moral past, she couldn't be open. Jesus shares Christ, she goes back into the village and says, I met the Messiah, the whole village is walking out, hundreds of people. The disciples come back, they did take out, they got lunch and brought it into Jesus. And they're looking, he goes, look, you guys don't think these people would ever be open?

They're open. We did some research recently, an organization, this is the most recent research on the attitudes of the unchurched. They had a very broad population of people and this was of people that have not been to any kind of religious service in the last six months.

Not to a church, a synagogue or a mosque. We found that 62% of those surveyed said they believe in God or a higher supreme being. So three out of four people already say, I believe in God. Of those, 61% believe that the God of the Bible is no different from the gods of other religions. So, I believe in God, I have no idea who He is and I assume they're all the same. Well, I wonder why they assume that?

Whoever told them differently? 66% of adults ages 18 to 29 agree that Jesus died and came back to life. The generation coming up, two out of three people, like in their 20s and late teens, you believe Jesus died? Yeah.

Came back to life. So two out of three people are ready to talk about this. The problem, however, is they trip over the church. Two-thirds or 64% of respondents think the Christian religion is relevant and viable religion for today.

It's not that they think it's antiquated or it's not a good message or it doesn't make sense. The problem is 72% said they think the church is full of hypocrites. Is there ever a day when people are more open and all they're looking for is Christians to live like Christians?

We don't have to have it all together, just live like Christians. And they want to hear. They're open most, are you ready for this? They're most open to their friends. 8 out of 10 or 78% surveyed said they would be willing to listen to someone who wanted to talk about their Christian beliefs. By the way, these are the people that are in your neighborhood and where you work. Now, if you happen to be in that younger audience, 18 to 29, it bumps up to 89 or 90% of that age group is open to talk about your beliefs. And yet down deep, what do most of us think?

Oh, they're not open. They just work at Google or they work over here or they do that and, you know, it's this new generation. It's a lie. It's a stronghold.

Finally, they summarize the findings. 89% of the unchurched people said they have a close friend who's a Christian. Think of that. See, these are people they surveyed that you work with, that are in your neighborhood, that are on the soccer team, and they know you're a Christian. Some of you, they're close friends. What they're saying is we don't even have to go out and find a brand new group of people to share the love of God with. We need to share the love of God with the people that God's already put in our life. But we just need to start some of those spiritual conversations. Are you ready for this? The research and Jesus would say people are way more open and want to hear about His love than we are willing to tell them. Is that crazy? It's a stronghold.

Stronghold number two. Sharing Jesus' love is reserved for spiritual superstars and people with outgoing personalities. You believe that one? You know, I have a few friends, and I've had a few experiences like this, but, you know, you hear someone, and maybe it's in a message or a CD, and the story goes something like this. I was on a plane coming back from so-and-so, and I talked briefly with the woman next to me, and after 35 minutes, tears rolling down her face, she prayed to receive Christ. Afterwards, she stepped up from the first class, went to the back, and said, I have to share my testimony. She shared her testimony with the rest of the plane. People were coming out of the aisles on the plane.

They were kneeling. Everyone on the plane trusted Christ. The pilot then stopped the plane in mid-air to... No. Right, now, honestly, haven't you heard those stories? I mean, I exaggerated a little, right? But when we hear stories of sort of like, oh, wow, these over-the-top, amazing, true stories, what it does is we start...

The enemy takes even good things that happen, and it's like, oh, see? You've got to be a superstar. You've got to have great people skills, outgoing personality, have to be able to read people. You need to understand this, be able to answer all these questions. It's not what the Bible says. The apostle Paul would say in Romans 1 16, for I'm not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it, the gospel, is the power of God for salvation to the Jew first and also to the Gentile. See, the faulty assumption, you know what? We believe down deep in terms of our behavior that the power is in the messenger. And since you're not a very big, strong messenger, well, you know, you're not going to share.

There won't be any results. The Bible says just the opposite. The Bible says the power is in the message, not the messenger. I learned this from my friend John Saville. Remember the story about John who gave me the checkbook and taught me about generosity? John was an introvert. I mean, he called himself a bean counter.

I'm not sure what that is, but he owned a CPA firm. He liked numbers. He wasn't overly relational. He didn't have a lot of people skills. But he came to Christ late, and he had this sense of urgency.

He really loved people outside of Christ. And he said, Chip, if you can read, you can love people. And I said, well, what do you mean, John? And he goes, look. And he would pull out something similar to this, like the four spiritual laws or a little booklet.

And he goes, I'm not great talking with people, but I just bring up the conversation. I ask, and then I pray, and then I just read this. And I'm thinking, John, you know, I'm in a seminary, and that's not really how it works. You got to... You know what John knew? The powers in the gospel.

He loves them. It's a stronghold. Stronghold number three is that witnessing is something I do versus something that I am. Some of our backgrounds, and we've come from a background where you need to witness. You know, it's like you need to pray. You need to read the Bible. You need to witness. That's something you do. So kind of get with the program. And most of us feel either mildly guilty or really guilty that we don't do it enough.

So I need to do that. It's not what the Bible teaches. Jesus, before he ascended, in Acts chapter 1, verse 8. He said, but you, my followers, will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses. Will you underline be in your notes?

He didn't say do. And you will be my witnesses. Where? First of all, right where you're at. Jerusalem. For some of us, that's our home or our neighborhood. And all Judea, that's a broader circle.

And Samaria into other parts of the world. He says you're going to be a witness. So it's not do you do it or not do it. It boils down to are we good witnesses or bad witnesses? Because we are. We represent him. I mean, the fact of the matter is this ocean of God's love and forgiveness that's available for everyone. It's just pushing up against the conduit inside of you and me. And he wants it to come through us to them.

And so we're either doing that well or poorly. The false premise here is that, you know, if I just live a good life, if I'm kind, if I'm fair, if I'm a person of integrity, if I help people out, well, that's the witness. No, no, that's half of the witness.

Part of it is there certainly has to be a lifestyle that demonstrates Christ's likeness. But people are not going to look at you and go, wow, you're really kind at work. You tell the truth. You come on time. You seem to care about people.

Oh, my lands, a light bulb went off in my head. People don't know unless they hear. They need to see the message of your life. They need to hear the message of the gospel through your words.

It's those things together. But as long as I, in my mind, say, well, you know, I'm not an outgoing person. People aren't really open. The power's in the messenger, and I'm not a very good messenger, and witnessing is I'll try to do good and live the life.

You know what it ends up in? About 8.5 to 9 people who are sincere, genuine followers of Christ never share the love of Christ verbally or the gospel with anyone, with anyone. It's like we got a big stopper in the PVC conduit pipe from the grace and love of God to people, and the stopper is us. And the stopper is we believe some lies. We are witnesses. Stronghold number four, sharing the good news as an event versus a process. It's an event. And by the way, there are wonderful good events, but what's happened is we start thinking that what we want to do is I'll figure out how to get people to an event instead of realizing it's a process all the time. Or for some of us, it's not just that we think the only thing we need to do is get them to an event, but we think when that event comes, when there's this moment and people kind of open up spiritually, there's some of us that have come from backgrounds. I'm one of these people, and I'm sure they didn't mean to teach it this way.

I just took it this way. I got this overwhelming pressure that whenever anyone was even mildly open to talk about Christ, I thought, okay, here we go. I've got to share all the four laws of the entire bridge illustration, ask them to pray. Do you want to pray?

If not, why not? Answer their top three questions, and we pray right now they become a Christian. If that happens, we get an A. Anything less than that, I get an F. And so I don't know if you've ever met one of those sort of young, zealous Christians that thinks it's an event. I was one of those.

I actually remember in college coming out of my dorm room and seeing someone walk toward me and turn around and go down the other stairs. I couldn't figure out why they didn't want to be around me. Now, that's the exception, but my mindset was I'm a total failure unless I dump the whole spiritual truck on everybody, every moment, every opportunity. That's not what the Bible teaches. That's not how God works. That's not how things grow.

Look what it says. 1 Corinthians 3, 6, and 7, the Apostle Paul speaking to the church says, I planted the seed of the gospel. Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who makes it grow. See, we're all in this together. We don't need to be pushy. We don't need to be preachy.

We need to love with our life and love with our lips. And so you ask someone, have you ever considered this? You know, if John, if that lady in the elevator, has anyone ever told you about Jesus? If that lady said no and I'm not very interested, you know, I think John would say, well, you know what? I can certainly understand that.

And I've watched him. Could I just pray for you today? Is there anything that I could pray for you today?

He wouldn't push. Sometimes, you know, they're going through a divorce and you just listen. Or sometimes, you know, they're having a struggle with one of their kids and you're just available.

He said, I'll babysit while you go to counseling. You know, sometimes it begins with just an invitation to church or it's a book that you've read or, you know, what you do, you plant the seed wildly. But some people plant the seed and then we water their relationships.

But God is orchestrating all of this. I have been that person. I do have an outgoing personality. I don't have the gift of evangelism, but I have an evangelistic heart. I want to love lost people and I like to talk with them because I didn't grow up in the church and I had such a bad church experience. I have great compassion for people that are turned off by religion. And I've sat next to people and shared the gospel and 35 or 40 minutes later with tears running down their eyes, have them pray in the seat to receive Christ. And early on I thought, you know what, I am pretty amazing.

And then, you know, like the next 30 minutes before we land is what I learned. Well, her husband's been praying for the last 14 years. The pastor's been at the house seven times. Her boss is, you know, like the greatest Christian she's ever known. She's read three Christian books. I just happened, you know, the fruit was so ripe it was ready to fall off the tree.

I just, I just caught it. And what I want you to know is there's people that you're sharing with. There's people that you're praying for. There's people that you can water, you sow. You water, you sow, you reap.

But take away the pressure. We need to recklessly, with abandon, just love people. With our deeds and our words. Because sharing the good news is a process. It's not just an event. You've been listening to part one of Chip's message, Why It's Hard to Share the Love, which is from our series, Share the Love.

Chip will be back with us in studio shortly to share some helpful application for us to think about. For one reason or another, Christians today are hesitant to share their faith. We know we should be doing it more, but sometimes just the thought of talking to someone about God can be nerve-wracking.

So why is that, and how can we change it? In this eight-part series, Chip's going to boost our confidence and teach us to have personal and spontaneous conversations about Jesus. Learn how to develop the heart, skills, and perspective to share your faith in a winsome, natural way. Don't miss how you can move from being a secret Christian to an unashamed witness for Christ. For more information about Share the Love or our resources, visit LivingOnTheEdge.org.

That's LivingOnTheEdge.org. Well, Chip's joined me in studio now, and Chip, take a second, if you would, and explain what you're trying to accomplish through this series. What does it look like to talk to people about Jesus in today's world and then maybe unpack how, in small ways, we've lost sight of what it means to genuinely share our faith?

Well, thanks, Dave. I really appreciate that question. You know, I find people, and maybe it's from an older background, where this idea was that we're going to witness or we're going to share our faith, and almost another person became an object, and we had this tool, and we were either going to ask them a question and get them to this point, and we're going to sort of share this story and then say, are you ready to receive Christ? And I think those kind of thoughts, although super well-intended for a different day and a different culture, don't work today. It's not that we're any less committed to evangelism, but the fact of the matter is that it's been wrongly framed. The issue isn't about, quote, sharing your faith. It's about sharing the love. We have a significant percentage of especially young people that are born again that love God, that have been so squeezed by the culture, they feel like it's rude or intolerant, like, you know, this is my view, my opinion.

I shouldn't push it on you. And I find that some people, maybe a little bit older, feel like, well, I don't have that gift, or I'm not an outgoing person, or I could never see myself doing this or that. This series is really about how to love people, how to just be you, and how to do it in your style, some people through hospitality and some people through friendship and some people through a sort of a workplace avenue and other people by having people over and sharing a hobby together. But it's building relationships where the goal isn't to just get to say some message about this is the gospel. The goal is to deeply love them, to understand that you are equipped as a regular, ordinary person that doesn't necessarily have a gift of evangelism, that as you walk alongside people, we'll learn in this series just how to tell your story in a loving way. We'll help everyone understand their style.

Some were Peter's outgoings, some were Mary's, some were Martha's, just different people in Scripture. I have seen such fruit come out of this, even with family members, where it's hardest. And so in my dream, the Lord loves us so deeply, and the message of the gospel is so precious and it's so powerful, but it needs to get into the hands, into the hearts, and into a mindset of God's people, where we're going to love that neighbor, that family member, that co-worker, not with some pressure on our shoulders to do this or do that, but do it in a way that is so natural and so normal, but so powerful in communicating not just your friendship and love, but the gospel of Jesus Christ that saves people for all eternity. Powerful reminder, Chip. Well, I hope you can join us for every part of this series, and to help you get the most out of this teaching, download Chip's Message Notes. They're a helpful tool that includes his outline, all the Scripture references, and key fill-ins to help you remember and then apply what you hear.

Get them by going to the Broadcasts tab at livingontheedge.org, app listeners tap Fill In Notes. Well, here again is Chip to share some application for what we heard today. You know, sometimes I think when we talk about sharing God's love, especially verbally sharing the gospel, we get so either paralyzed or uptight, or we go so into, I can't do that, and that's for a special group of people. And if you believe a lie, it actually will frame your behavior. And so just the first one was, people are not open.

And you heard all the statistics that I gave. But here's the emotional side I want people to hear. That person at work that you think, you know, they would never, ever listen is just like my swimmer friend, okay? He's too cool. He's too popular.

He's got it together. There's no way he wants to hear the gospel. And he heard it, as you learned, from probably the most unlikely source in the world. And so I want you to know, people are open.

Jesus said, the fields are white for harvest. The second one was, sharing Jesus' love is reserved for like spiritual superstars and people with outgoing personalities. Nothing could be farther from the truth. But if you believe that lie, you will unconsciously give yourself a pass. You know, well, I don't have that kind of personality.

I'm not a superstar. And here's what I got to tell you. It's like what that swimmer told me. Why didn't you tell me? How could you know this? Why won't you tell me? Can you picture in your mind, you know, your neighbors or coworker or one of your close friends?

And I mean, you know, in sort of C.S. Lewis fashion as he shares in The Great Divorce, you know, someone turning to you and saying, so all of our time together, you knew the reality of eternity. You knew that God had forgiven me. You knew that it was a gift. And you never told me?

You never told me because you thought I might respond badly or you never told me because you were afraid or you didn't tell me because you thought I might think less of you? You know, boy, we've got to realize God is going to use all of us, but we have to demonstrate with our life and open our mouth. And then the third was, you know, witnessing is something I do instead of something I am. And for me, that was a game changer. I just realized I used to live under this pressure that I'm supposed to have a conversation, go through some sort of presentation. And if they don't pray at the end of my presentation, whether I know them five years or five minutes, I'm a total failure.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. You're in a relay race. We pass this on. So here's what I'm going to tell you.

This entire series is going to be super practical and it's going to break these strongholds. And we're going to teach you very specific ways to share. The notes are available on the website, absolutely free. We long to see people share God's love. And we want to do everything we can to put this in your hands.

Thanks, Chip. Well, before we go, I want to thank those of you who support this program with your generous financial support. Your gifts help us reach countless lives around the globe with the Word of God. And if you haven't given to us before, but would like to be part of that work, there's never been a better time. Between now and July 7th, every gift we receive will be matched dollar for dollar. To send a donation, go to livingontheedge.org, or call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003, or visit livingontheedge.org. App listeners, tap donate. We'll join us next time as Chip continues his series, Share the Love. Until then, I'm Dave Drouin, saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.