True Spirituality - How to Experience Authentic Community, Part 2

When was the last time you hung out with some fellow believers and afterwards you just felt so much closer to God? I mean, you opened up, you shared your life, you laughed together, maybe even you cried, you paused and prayed about something.

And as you were going home, you thought to yourself, why can't I have more times like that? Well, it's called Authentic Community and today we're going to learn how to get more out of it. Stay with me. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians. And in just a minute, Chip picks up in our series, True Spirituality, becoming a Romans 12 Christian by continuing to unpack what it means to be part of an authentic Christian community. If you're desperate to genuinely connect with a handful of believers, this message is for you. Well, let's get going and join Chip for the remainder of his talk from Romans chapter 12, beginning in verse 9. Authentic community doesn't happen when you do a little nice thing or a little nice thing here and it doesn't really cost you very much.

Authentic community happens when the real you shows up. Notice it says devotion. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, humility, giving preference to one another in honor. Real needs getting met always involves devotion on our part and humility. The word devotion here is strong. He's saying you need to be committed to one another and lay your lives down for one another like you would for blood relatives.

I mean for people that you feel this moral responsibility for. And he says be devoted to one another how? In brotherly love, philo-delphi, that's the word.

We named a city in Pennsylvania by that. It's this commitment of family love, of being there for one another, of doing whatever it takes. I thought I knew what it meant to kind of be devoted and love. I was a new Christian and after probably I guess it was about five or six years, I'd been coaching for a couple years after school and Teresa and I were married and we had two small kids at this time. So I mean I was shocked, literally shocked that God called me into vocational ministry. I thought I just can't imagine ever him being able to use someone like me. I'm a teacher, I'm a basketball coach.

I can't imagine being a pastor. But he made it clear so we went to school and after about a year there built some relationships. We stayed in little apartment complex, actually it was a huge apartment complex but it was had like these apartment here, apartment here, apartment here, apartment here.

They were little quad things and so you really got to know the people, you shared one hallway. And I came home after school, it was in my first or second year and Teresa's eyes were all red. I said honey man what is going on, are you okay? She goes oh I spent all afternoon with Pat, you know right across the hall. I said well what's going on? She goes well her husband left her.

I said oh you got to be kidding. And they'd gotten really close, they had a little boy the same age as my little boys, they were all about five years old. And she goes it's worse than that, bank accounts are emptied. He left her, they have a like two or three week old newborn and she has no money. And we just prayed and cried. I thought wow, so you know I'm thinking my heart's really going out to her so I'm thinking it's really spiritual so honey you want to pray for her? She goes well actually we did that but I've been thinking about it and we talked over dinner.

She goes I think we should in two days her rent is due and they're going to kick her out if she doesn't have rent money and I think we should pay for her rent. And my portfolio at this point is very easy to keep, I can keep it in my head. We don't have a savings account because there was no need, we had a checking account.

And I made under $1,000 a month on straight commission as I went to school full time. So I said honey if we pay for Pat's rent, our rent is due in 10 days and the moment we pay for her rent we will have $10 in our checking account. She said I know. Oh, when you marry above yourself it's really not very good at times you know. And so it was like you know what okay but you know what it was? It was being devoted isn't like oh I hope it goes well for her, I heard she had cancer. You know that family's going through a rough time.

No, no it's like we're in this together, she's family. And so you know I'm figuring I'm probably going to have to learn how to be a pastor someday, might as well start now. And so okay Lord here it is and we write the check and by the way it was not noble. I think people get this idea that when we take big steps for God, yes God. Most of my really big steps are like yes God you know.

I don't really want to do this, I'm pretty. But okay I'm going to claim your promise but my God will supply all my needs according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus. I'm ready to do that and the context is giving being generous Philippians 4 19, I'm standing on that passage. Our rent's due, no money. We have a three day grace period, first day, grace period, no money. Second day, grace period, no money. Third day, hey yo!

Which part of this verse am I misinterpreting or you know what's the deal? One day in the mail that day an envelope came, you know business side envelope and in the left hand corner it had a football helmet that was green and yellow. And it was from Lombardi Avenue. I got a letter from someone from the Green Bay Packers. I was like are you, you know what is this? So I opened the letter and the letter says hi Chip, I'm sure you don't know me. I met you about six years ago or so. I was a senior in high school at the time and you taught a Bible study in San Jose. And I later went on and played college football and I was the first quarterback taken in the draft. And I'm playing for the Green Bay Packers now and when you taught that Bible study all I can tell you I can't really remember what you said. But something happened that changed the spiritual trajectory of my life and I've never forgotten it. I've not thought of you for six years but this is weird, out of the blue you came to my mind and I'm supposed to send you this thousand dollars.

I mean it was just like oh, you know what happened? I got to experience authentic community. This is how God works, this is normal. He puts people in your life that you have some more time than they have. You have money that they don't have. You have energy that they don't have. You have spiritual gifts that would help them that they don't have. And you don't nod and think well I went to church, I read the Bible, I went on a missions trip.

You think I'm a part of this community and that need is a red light going off on my soul to love them. And I will tell you what, man we got tight with Pat. I mean it was like 20 years later he got a postcard. Lisa, you know I saw somewhere you and Jim, da da da, I just want a picture of her and her grown son and the little one. And you know our hearts were connected to Pat.

Why? Because wherever your treasure is, your heart follows it. And then I got to see that God also, that was the first of many lessons.

I mean that was a like ooh. And after that in the last 30 years, we've done that scores of times. Never knowing for sure how God supply my testimony, he always does. And what we've experienced is God. See at the end of the day, you know what most Christians don't know? God is real.

He's not a philosophy, he's not a formula, he's not a moral code. Jesus is a person and he's real and he loves you and he made promises and he wants you to stand on him. And you take risks which are called faith and you love one another and people get love through you and then he supplies. When the real you meets real needs through devotion and also through humility.

Because at the end of the day, you know what? You have to think more of other people than yourself. Jot in the corner of your notes Philippians chapter 2 if you will, verse 3 and 4. The apostle Paul says, I mean think of how all encompassing this, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. But in humility, consider others as more important than yourself. What would that change your small group?

Would that change your family? Each of you should look not only for your own interest but also the interest of others. In fact he goes on to say, have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus. That although he existed in the form of God, he didn't regard equality with God a thing to be grasped. But he humbled himself taking the form of a bond servant becoming obedient even unto death. Humility. Humility is putting other people, giving preference where you lift them up. I've had the privilege of working with someone that's modeled this for me.

And there's a number of people that do it but I just have the longest history with a guy named Greg. He came out of the Silicon Valley, early days of Palm Pilot, later went to Cisco, project manager. Later was a volunteer over in Santa Cruz and 40 or 50 volunteers, did light, sound, real super techy guy. When I went to walk through the Bible, he came with me and was just, he's just a manager of just tremendous ability.

And then his Living on the Edge went out on its own, he ran all of Living on the Edge, the broadcasting, the money, the finances, the operation, everything. And we started to grow and there was a guy that came along, he wrote a strategic plan for us and he led a huge ministry in the United States. And I'll never forget, he met with me, he said, this is really exciting and I think God's in it.

I'd like to help you fulfill it. And a little humility, I said well I now know kind of what you've done in your life and you now know all of our books. I'm going to pay you maybe half of what you've ever made.

This is an amazing downward mobility opportunity for you. And he looked at me and he said, I'll take it. And Andrew came and in the next three and a half years, he tripled the size of everything that happened at Living on the Edge. But here was the interesting point. Greg is really good into the people and roles and personnel and HR and all that stuff.

I'm not. And we sat down, the entire executive team of Living on the Edge, me and Greg, there's two of us, you know. And he said, if we hire Andrew, you need to know something.

I said, what's that? In about six months, he needs to lead the whole organization and I need to be just over broadcasting and just technology. Because his gifts and what he'll bring, he's far better, he will bring what I don't have and there's no way the ministry will be what God wants it to be unless he has that role. I'm just telling you that, you know, he needs to become my boss. Now, when's the last time you ever worked or met anyone who had the power to hire someone that when he hired them, he knew they will become greater, I will become lesser. He will have a higher role, make a higher income and I will move down because I want to serve you, serve God and the mission is what matters.

You know what that's called? Giving preference. See, when you walk into a small group or when you walk into church or when you are in your family and sit around at the table, which I hope you do, all of us either have one or two sets of lenses on. One lens is who asked me a question, who cares about me, why didn't anyone give me a hug, how come everyone seems so happy and no one cared about me.

I went to the small group and no one seemed to really listen but I was telling my story. And I'm lonely and I need a friend and what about and what about and that's one set of glasses. And other people go with a set of glasses that say, I've got needs and God knows what they are but I wonder who he wants me to be, a conduit of grace in this small group.

Or when I get home from work, I'm absolutely tired, I don't want to talk about all that stuff I went through but I bet my wife or my husband or some of my kids, they're going to need someone that's alive and caring and I want to engage and find out how can I put them above myself, how do I give them preference. And here's the weird part, those people who do that experience amazing joy and people flock around them. Because Jesus said give and it will be given unto you, good measure, press down, shaking together, running over, back into your lap for in the same measure that you give. And it may include money but he wasn't talking about money. In the same measure that you give, it will be given unto you, press down, shaking together and running back. See, that spiritual ceiling where we get stuck is often the real you doesn't show up and if the real you doesn't show up, often we're not meeting real needs, we're just meeting convenient or superficial needs. But then he says not only does the real you and me need to show up and meet real needs but he says you need to do it for the right reason, not to please people. He says not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. Not lagging behind in diligence, literally the word is slothfulness, the literal meaning of it is not being slow. Fervent in spirit is a picture of water coming to a boil, it has this idea of, you know, like when the bubbles come up right just before the, you know, when it's boiling, this energy, this passion, this focus, fervent in spirit. Not obligation, duty, I guess I got to do this, got to go to this group and so and so has a need, what do you think, I guess we ought to help them, blah, blah, blah.

That's not the picture and notice the focus isn't what will I get or will people think better of me. I'm not going to be slow about the promptings that God gives me, I'm going to be filled with enthusiasm that comes from God and I'm going to do it not even just for them but to serve him. How many of you have ever been like talking with a close friend or been in a small group, especially a Bible study and someone in the Bible study said, hey, would you all pray for me, I'm lazy and I need help with my laziness.

Can I see those hands? See, most people, especially Americans, none of us think we're lazy but part of it is we have a warped view of what laziness is. We think laziness are people who watch seven hours of TV, play four hours of video games and eat chocolate bonbons on the couch for days on end. They're lazy. Biblical definition of laziness is not doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. A lot of, we mask our laziness with good things. God speaks to your heart and he says you need to apologize to so and so and so you think, oh, wow, I think I'll go read a chapter in the Bible or pray. Guess what, it's not God's will to pray or read a chapter in the Bible when he says go apologize to so and so. See, laziness is refusing to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

And we have all kind of denial and avoidance. And he says in your motives, don't be slothful, be enthusiastic. Notice at the bottom of your notes, genuine service to God is characterized by diligence, excellence in what we do and how we do it and enthusiasm, passion to serve God and love people, not please people or impress people. My dad was an alcoholic, a great guy in general but just one of the roles in an alcoholic family is making peace and fixing things. Well, once I came to Christ, I didn't realize it. It took me a while to get going spiritually and when I finally got going, what I found out was I was still trying to fix things and work out my dysfunctional issues now in the body of Christ. And what I found is this group of people who call themselves Christians and I was genuinely transformed and lots of great things were happening. But I found if you memorized a lot of verses and you served people and if you said the right things and you just kind of went off the charts in your performance orientation to quote what looked like loving people, you got a lot of strokes and affirmation.

And so after a slow start, I went nuts. I memorized hundreds of verses. I was in this Bible study, led this Bible study, was in this group, did this. I mean, I was just like a maniac.

I was such a maniac that there was times I thought, I make myself sick. And I had this opportunity, you know, if you were a leader on this campus, you could go to this special thing in the summer that only a few people could go to and you memorized these verses and everyone would go to this city and you'd get a job and then there'd be, you know, like 100 or 200 and you'd be on teams of five. You'd have a team leader and four people and, you know, they would help you grow and you got a job and you did evangelism. It was like a hot house for spiritual growth.

And it was really, really beneficial. But this particular group had a very structured approach to sanctification or how you grow spiritually. And their approach combined with my warped personality and background was like the perfect storm to create a Pharisee. And so I really thought by the end of that summer, I mean, you need to do this, you need to do the Bible study, you need to share your faith, you need to do this. By the end of that Bible study, you go to the end and your team leader would meet with you individually and kind of give you an evaluation and say, as you go back to your campus, here's something to think about to really help you grow your campus ministry. And, you know, some of the people were talking and they were a little uptight like, wow, this might be very threatening. I'm thinking this is going to be great because in my private world, I'm thinking I'm more disciplined than anybody here.

If they were going to give an all-star most valuable Christian award. You know, so I'm supposed to have this meeting with John, my team leader, and I literally can't wait. I'm thinking I'm finally going to get some pats on the back that I really deserve. And he's going to tell me just, you know, it's probably you, Hudson Taylor, Dawson Trotman, Martin Luther, you know, you and the boys are going to make a big impact someday.

I mean, it was so sick. And let me pick up the story because it's too embarrassing to tell. John was quiet, he's my team leader, and had a very understated approach to his leadership. I was honestly looking forward to the meeting and I secretly hoped that he'd notice the discipline and what I modeled for the other members of my team, the servanthood that I've demonstrated in our relationships, and the knowledge and faith that we're rapidly developing in my life.

He worked hard and was ready for that good pat on the back. Our meeting didn't go as I expected. Although I was full of zeal and performed well throughout the summer, John's evaluation stunned me. His assessment of my spiritual growth was far different than my own. With very few words, he said he appreciated getting to know me throughout the summer, and that God had revealed three verses on his heart that he wanted to share with me, handed me the note cards, and said, I pray God really speaks to you as you go back to your campus.

Anti-climatic. So I've got these three by five cards with verses that he had handwritten out. The first one said, for am I now seeking the favor of men or of God?

Or am I striving to please men? If I was still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. Galatians 1.10. I thought, hmm, that's an interesting verse. The second verse, John 5.44, how can you believe when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?

There may be a message here. All doubt was removed by the last verse, Luke 16.15. And he said to them, you are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your heart.

That which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God. See, the real you can show up, and you can meet real needs, and you can do it to serve you like I did, to get affirmation, to get strokes, to play a game inside the Christian community where you appear loving. But what you really do is you end up using all the verses that you know and all the good deeds that you have to create a little world where you just send a different hologram of a fake and phony person that's working out your own dysfunctions to get people to accept you rather than say, I am accepted in Jesus. And the acid test of your motives is always when you get treated like a servant, when no one notices, when they don't say thank you, when you're not rewarded, when you feel like, you know, the only one that sees what I'm doing is God.

The only one that seems to really care is God. And in your heart of hearts, if you can say, oh, yeah, that's right, I'm serving an audience of one. People's response, people's strokes, people's affirmation, God, when it comes or if it doesn't come, that's not why I do what I do. It's the real you meeting real needs for the right reason.

And finally, it's in the right way. Authentic community is always going to be played out in the context of pain and difficulty and challenge. In a fallen world, it's really, really hard to make the time for authentic community.

It's really hard to be honest when you're bombarded. And so in the right way is not in your own strength, not in what you can do, not in the power of your personality, not as Jesus as some sort of ideal model. I'm going to work hard and I can love people and I can be real and I can do this and this is how much money I have.

No, no, no. He says your focus, the right way is there's an upward focus and there's an outward focus. And it says you need to rejoice in hope. That's a mindset. Not rejoice in circumstances or people's response.

He says, what do you need to do? Persevere in tribulation. In other words, in the midst of when it's difficult, you refuse to give up because you're going to do life with this group of people and it's hard and everything in you wants to give up. But you refuse to and you're going to help people make it through and your resource is going to be devoted to prayer. You're going to have multiple times where I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent. I don't know how I'm going to solve this problem. I don't know how I'm going to heal this marriage.

I don't know how I can break this addiction. But God, I'm asking for your help and I'm going to share my life openly in an authenticity with a group of people that are safe and we're going to go through this together. And there's an upward focus. It's not your resources. The spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in every child of God. It's all the power you'll ever need. But that power gets accessed through His word and through the community of God's people and that power gets accessed as you pray. One of the greatest evidences of genuine humility and dependency is your prayer life. And I've been there.

You know what? When your life basically is like you get up, you grab a cup of coffee, you get in the car, you run, you're going, there's a big meeting, got to do this with your kids, got to make a big decision, and you do all that and you're not on your knees saying, God, I don't know what to do. God, I don't have the wisdom.

God, I don't know how to do this with one of my kids. God, I need please. When you're not doing that, what you're saying to God is, I know you created the world, I know you're all wise, I know you know everything that's happening today, tomorrow, and forever, but I really don't need that kind of help.

I think that's the definition of arrogance, isn't it? Our prayerlessness basically says, I got this one. You just keep that world spinning.

I'll handle this one. And God, as opposed to the proud, gives grace to the humble. That's tapping his supernatural resources. And so there's an upward focus, and then it's followed by an outward focus. An outward focus says, notice what it says. It says, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing or pursuing hospitality.

It's where he says, there's an outward focus. The resources are, there's times where God's going to ask you to contribute. The real meaning of contribute is contribute. Like, give money away to people in need. Give time away. Give things away to someone that doesn't have what you have, that's a brother or sister in Christ. Contribute to the needs of the saints, fellow believers. And when you do, it's like, what about me?

God says, I got that one covered. And then it says, pursuing hospitality. Literally the phrase is, pursuing strangers. So you can get into authentic community. I think this is added at the very end for a very important reason. It can be us for and no more. We got the greatest Bible study, we're really close, we're so authentic, we're open, we can share anything, we're super supportive, we've been doing this for 25 years with just us. Wow.

Goody for you. I wonder if there's anybody else in the church that might have needed this in the last 24 or five years. Who are the people that are unlovely? Who are the people that are lonely? Who are the people that need you to pursue and open your home and open your heart and invite him to a meal? Who are the people that need you to be the presence of Jesus? See, this is what breaks the ceiling.

This is how you get unstuck. The seed of God's word in a good and honest heart to the soil, in the environment of authentic community. The real you meeting real needs for the right reason and the right way is where supernatural transformation occurs. It mattered so much to Jesus. Notice how he closed his last prayer recorded in scripture. He says, My prayer, Father, is not for them alone, his disciples. I pray also for those that will believe in me through their message. That's us. That all of them, notice, may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.

But also be in us. The Trinity has authentic community. And Jesus is praying to the Father that we could experience what they experience and then we could experience with them. And then look at the purpose clause. So that, this is why this is so important. So that they may believe you sent me. The greatest apologetic on the face of the earth is when you love authentically brothers and sisters with the real you meeting real needs for the right reason and the right way.

Those outside of Christ will understand and believe that Jesus could be their Savior too. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. And the message you just heard, How to Experience Authentic Community, is from our series, True Spirituality. Chip will join us in studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Does your relationship with God often feel like working for a perfect report card?

Do you believe if you don't get straight A's in life, God will be disappointed or even mad at you? Well, in this 12-part study, Chip challenges us to let go of that performance-driven attitude and embrace the grace-based, love-filled life God has for us. As Chip teaches through Romans chapter 12, he'll reveal what a genuine follower of Jesus looks like and how we can get there. And for a limited time, we've discounted all the resources for the series so you can experience true spirituality like never before. To learn more, visit livingontheedge.org. That's livingontheedge.org.

App listeners tap Special Offers. Well, before we go any further, Chip's joined me here in studio with a quick word. Thanks, Dave. I'll be right back in just a minute with some final thoughts from today's message. But I just want to take a moment and share with you something very exciting that's happening in my life. I go to a church where the people are super young and most of them have very little experience to the gospel, the Bible. And Teresa and I opened our home and said, Would you just want to explore the faith? And some are believers and some are seekers, and we're just having a fabulous time. And the one thing that I keep hearing, I mean these are 22, 23, 24-year-olds, and they just are asking, Is there any real purpose in life and how do you discover God's purpose for your life? And I'm reminding them that God has a mission, that they are His workmanship. They're His tapestry.

They're His work of art, that God has a good work from the foundations of the earth, according to Ephesians chapter 2 verse 10, that He's prepared for them. And what I want you to know is that He's got that for you as well. I want you to think about maybe a young person or maybe even yourself. And do you know your purpose? Do you know your mission? Do you know how you're wired? Do you know your gifts? Do you know how you fit on a team?

Well, I want you to know if those are questions that you're asking, Living on the Edge right now has some answers. We've created a brand new resource called The Real You. It's an online questionnaire designed to provide insight into how God wired you. This is more than spiritual gift test. You'll identify the patterns in what you think, what motivates you, and why teams need someone just like you.

It'll take about 20 minutes to complete, and it won't cost you a thing. Then based on your responses, The Real You will offer suggestions about how you can practically live out God's purpose for your life, whether that's at home, in the office, at church, or in your community. As a Living on the Edge partner, we want you to be the first to access this resource. Head over to therealyou.org to learn more. That's therealyou.org.

Most Christians don't know how to leverage their God-given wiring and experiences for the kingdom. We want to change that. Thanks, Chip. As you can tell, we are really excited about this resource. We hope The Real You will help you discover who God made you to be and how He created you to think, act, and live. Sign up for this free assessment by going to therealyou.org, or if it's easier, text real to 74141.

That's the word real, R-E-A-L, to 74141. App listeners, tap The Real You. With that, here's Chip with that application he promised. As I was thinking about this message, I thought about authentic community, and the first thing that came to my mind was some men's groups or couples groups I've been in, or actually a guy that I'm working out with right now.

He's a personal trainer. He was a very committed Christian, but was never in authentic community. Wow, when he got into a group that shared from the heart, his life just, it's been amazing to watch. But then as I thought about it, I thought, you know where the real authentic community needs to begin? I mean, I love couples groups, men's groups, women's groups. All that's great, and we share hearts, and we're going through it together, but I think the first and most important group is your family. And for some that are single, it might be a roommate, but for many of you, it's you and your kids.

It's you and your mate, and it's the real you showing up at home, meeting real needs at home and doing it for the right reason and the right way. Could I just implore you to do some of those things that build authentic community? I mean, real practically, eat together as often as possible, and at least three or four times a week have dinner together. Talk to one another. Have a time where you put away all the devices and people actually make eye contact and talk. And if you have little ones, please, please, please, don't miss the bath times and the bed times.

You're shaping the soul of your child as you in an unhurried way tuck them in, tell them a story, read a Bible story, pray with them. Authentic community is the fiber that connects our hearts with one another and eventually connects it with God. Can I encourage you?

Don't miss out. Thanks, Chip. Well, just before we go, in the difficult times we're living in, we're grateful for the opportunities to minister to people around the world. And listeners like you who partner with us financially make that possible. And right now, thanks to a handful of ministry friends, every gift we receive until midnight on July 7th will be doubled dollar for dollar. To support us, go to LivingOnTheEdge.org or call 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003 or visit LivingOnTheEdge.org. App listeners, tap donate. Well, I'm glad you've been with us. Until next time, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.