Spiritual Simplicity - All You Need Is Love, Part 2

Do you remember that old Beatles song, All You Need Is Love? A lot of people criticize the Beatles, and for good reason, but they got it right on that one, and we're going to talk about how to get out of the performance trap and get down to what really matters, learning that all you really need is love.

That's today. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip's our Bible teacher for this international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians. In just a minute, we'll continue our series, Spiritual Simplicity, Doing Less, Loving More. But before Chip dives back in, if this is your first time listening to Living on the Edge, or you want to learn more about what we do, go to LivingOnTheEdge.org.

You'll find tons of resources on a wide range of topics and countless programs to enjoy. Okay, here's Chip with part two of his talk, All You Need Is Love, from 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Many of us live very hurried, overextended, complex lives with shallow, superficial relationships, even with our closest friends and families, because we have unconsciously learned to believe that performing well, possessing much, and providing stuff is what life is all about. Your value as a person, your significance, you've got to perform well. Who you are, what you do, what people think has to do with possessing stuff.

Some of it's intangible and some of it's intangible, and some of it is very tangible. How are you doing with this? Boy, it's quiet in here, isn't it? And this isn't, you know what, this is, you don't get a free pass on this because you're a pastor. As I've looked at my DNA and my schedule, and when I look at the list of not what I say, but the list of what does my behavior say, what does my schedule scream, where does my money go, I feel like there's a constant battle of fighting against this belief system that possessing, performing, and even the altruistic I'm going to provide for can get me going at a pace that isn't good for my soul, it isn't good for my marriage, it isn't good for my parenting or grandparenting, and it kills friendships. So if that's the diagnosis, what would the doctor say? What would the simplify your life doctor say? Here's a prescription for transformation. Three things he would say. He gets his little pad out, you know, put your shirt back on, I'll be right back in just a second.

Little prescription pads coming out. Number one, the secret to simplifying your life is focus. Now this isn't earth shattering, is it? You're trying to do too much. Oh, you're trying to accomplish too much. Oh, you're trying to get your kids involved in too much. Oh, you need to do less, but do it better, deeper, more relational, but you need to do the things that matter most.

Oh, okay. Knowing that we've all done that and tried that, and it lasts for two days to two weeks depending on our personalities. Rx number two, you can only do less when you purpose to love more.

This for me is the biggest aha of this series and this message. I have tried many, many times to tweak my schedule, right? I'll do a little less of this, a little less of that, and I already, I go to bed early, I get up real early. I mean, I've read time management books like you all have.

I do my A's first before I do my B's and I do my C's. I do know how to multitask. And I'm one very intense person, and yet I watch it just multiply, multiply, multiply until different seasons of my life. I feel like I've got the seven plates spinning or juggling the balls. And then somehow, well, that can lay there for a couple of minutes and I'll give my attention over here. Oh, that's my marriage.

It can't lay there very long. And you've done it, right? If just tweaking things was about intelligence, I'm talking to a really smart group of people who you would have figured that out by now. This is a lifestyle issue. This is a mindset issue. And this pressure and this demand has us going all these different directions and then sedating our pain and our loneliness with videos and technology and food and unhealth. And that's why we have so many addiction issues.

Because right before people get ready to crack, they just find a substitute to make them feel better. I was in South Africa and afterwards went to Zimbabwe and I have to visit orphans. And it was, yes, we want to help the orphans and my wife and I have been financially supporting a ministry we really believe in, but it, great.

It wasn't, am I going to check it out? I knew it was going to be good before I got there. What I knew was at the pace that I live with the new things that I've taken on, unless I look into the eyes of little orphan kids who live in shacks and unless I feel their pain and see what the third world is like, I will just go faster and faster and try and do things bigger and better and faster and more, bigger and better and faster and more.

And just because they're spiritual, they can make your life just as crazy. And so I remember in Zimbabwe, it was the second home I'd been doing some teaching and our group visited a couple different homes and they have a gated place and you go into the home and they have like eight or 10 girls and an auntie and a grandmother and they teach them the Bible and they get a good meal. And we went in the back and they're teaching the garden to feed them and then had a chicken run where they're raising chickens for their food. And, but I got out of the car and this little, little girl, in fact, she wasn't, she was about this tall. So she's a little heavier than I'd hoped. She just walked up to me like this and went, so I got her and I put her on my hip and you know, we walked around for a while and she seemed to really enjoy that. And it was kind of like, we're going to go to the back. Do you want to walk? And I'm thinking, my back says, it'd be nice if you walk. And, and, and she just put her arms around me. No. I said, well, what's your name?

She goes, blessing. Now that's interesting. And so we went around back and she was on my hip for about 25 or 30 minutes.

Actually I had to change hips. And, and then we had a little girl that was 13 years old that was taken off the streets when she was about five. And you don't know what it's like for a little girl in Zimbabwe, around the world, in these countries that are on the streets with no parent at five, six, four, seven, just let your imagination go.

And it's, it's a little bit worse than that. And this little girl after now four and a half years, five years in this home was amazingly articulate and not only amazingly articulate, but she began to talk about not just parroting verses that she'd memorized. I have a relationship with Jesus. Now I get to eat every day, but the most important thing is, and she looked up because a pastor comes like every other day there, along with the auntie and the grandmother, she says, I have a family and I'm loved.

And she just beamed. And I just thought, you know, I just sat and I thought with blessed on my hip, these kids possess what so many of us are chasing after. You know what? They're, they're not taking drugs to fall asleep at night.

They're not wondering how to balance 75 to do's the simplicity of their life. I love God. I love these people. They love me.

We want to help others in the way that we've been helped. And I just thought that is a blessing. And what I realized for me was the only way this was a big ha ha.

I've tried to do less, but other stuff creeps in, right? There's always that great opportunity. And it always comes with, here's a great opportunity.

It's right down the middle of the plate. And by the way, this great opportunity is only going to come now. And if you don't swing at it right now, your kids are going to miss it or you're going to miss it or the business is going to miss it.

And it's strategic and it's great. And you can do this and you can add it to your schedule. You're not going to take anything off, but you're going to mentally say, act like you are.

And so one more thing gets on there, right? And I just realized my no isn't strong enough to keep stuff off my plate until I have a lot stronger yes. Well, how did I have two weeks to go be with orphans?

And when I was with them and I was with these pastors and when I saw the third world afresh, all of a sudden some of the stuff that felt so demanding and some of the people and things I needed to say no to, it's easy to say no to doing less when you're saying yes to loving more. The third RX is begin to redefine success. Begin to redefine success from how did I do?

That's a performance question. Mom, how did I do? Dad, how did I do? Teacher, how did I do? Coach, how did I do? Corporate earnings, how did I do? Change that to who am I becoming?

You might write above the question, how did I do performance? Then put an arrow, who am I becoming? That's a character question. What do I have? That's possessions. Put an arrow from that and move it to how am I using it? Not what do I have, how am I using it? You move from possessions to stewardship. And the third question is how much do I give? What if you change that question to why do I give? So it goes from providing to motive. What we have before us is one of the greatest chapters in all of biblical history.

But I want to tell you the apostle Paul did not sit down one day and say, you know something? I would like to write a literary masterpiece. I'd like to write something that people, whether they were Christians or non-Christians all over the world, when there's ever a wedding, they would read this. I want to provide something for people who love to decoupage. I want plaques to be filled in future Christian stores all over the world.

I want it to be put with little lists of poems. You know, Ralph, Waldo, Emerson, apostle Paul, if I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, yet have not love, right? If I prophesy, you know, he was not trying to do that.

In fact, what you're going to find is we're going to spend our time and we're going to walk through this. He doesn't even define love in 1 Corinthians 13. He gives us 15 descriptions of love beginning at verse 4. And in the 15 descriptions, I'll show you a little bit later, he takes at least 15 of their dysfunctional, hurtful, bad, superficial, relational fallout behaviors. And every one of these things is a corrective so that they will be loving in their relationships.

This is a very practical chapter. He's talking about instead of suing one another, here's how you do. Instead of feeling hurt and rejected and betrayed and gossiping about people, here's what you do. Instead of living this way, here's what you do. Instead of shacking up with your mother-in-law and being sexually immoral, here's what you do.

I mean, this church had major problems. But if we're going to love more, the danger is that we will think that love is an ooey-gooey feeling and now I have, I feel better, God. I had 17.5 seconds of ooey-gooey feelings with my wife and 11.7 seconds of ooey-gooey feelings with one of my kids or I'm a single person and I had coffee and we had a deep talk and I feel better.

Now all those things may be good, but here's the question. If simplifying your life never works by just saying you're going to do less, but the secret is loving more, the fundamental question is what is love and how do you practice it? What does it really mean to be loving? And I'm going to get us started and we're going to start real small and we're going to learn to start loving what love really is, not an emotion, not a good feeling, but a choice to treat other people in a way that you don't have the power apart from God giving it to you, but we're going to learn to love other people and I want you to start with those closest to you.

Family, friends, spouse, irritating in-laws and so notice what he says. Verse four, love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it's not proud. Just underline love is patient, love is kind.

That's all I'm going to cover today. We're going to take one baby step toward how to become more loving people because as your love will get deeper and deeper and practical this week, you will gravitate and spend energy and time there and you'll start doing less and loving more. Love is patient, the word is macro thumus. Macro meaning broad or to spread out, thumus has the idea of passion. Some translators say it is to have a long, long suffering.

The idea is only used, it's not in reference to being patient with circumstances, this word has to do with being patient with people. This is that when someone says a little remark that hurts your feelings and so you shut down and turn on the remote. This is someone who, you know, you wanted to be romantic on a certain evening and you got turned down so you decide, you know what, I'm just not going to respond to her or him.

This is that little comment that your parents make and you just say, well forget it, I'm going to shut my door and, you know, video game. This is someone at school who says something to you to hurt your feelings and you just find yourself telling another friend what a jerk and how she's stuck up and who does he think he is. This is a different way to respond to hurt.

Basically, love is patient, love is kind, he's addressing the same issue, it's one coin. The issue is this and write this down, how do I respond when people hurt me? And you don't have to be in the church long to know you're going to get hurt and we hurt one another in families and we hurt one another in friends and we hurt one another in ball teams and we hurt one another in business. How do you respond when a word or an action or a neglect or someone doesn't invite you or someone says something about you, how do you respond when there's a little hurt or a wound? My reaction is I'm going to do it back or I'll passive aggressively say, did you hear what he did to me?

Or she did that, therefore, you know, some of you will lash out with your words, some of you will pay back later, some of you will passive aggressively leak and be sarcastic, some of you will cut your parents off. This passage says you want to learn to become loving. Here's what it says. Love is patient, then the word kind is only used in this form in the New Testament and it's giving a undeserved response of goodness, insomness and encouragement to the person who's wounded you. Love absorbs the blow and returns a hug. And it says, you don't deserve this and I can't give it in my strength, but you said that to me and it hurt my feeling. I'm going to go to the bedroom and I'm going to forgive you and now I'm going to think about how could I affirm and encourage you because most people who hurt you, it usually comes out of a wound in their own life.

Can you imagine what's going to happen in relationships if that's all we do? Love absorbs the blow and gives a hug. Now, some of you have some historic situations and there's some abuse situations and issues that you have kind of in background and this does not mean that, you know, you go home now and say that, you know, the father that abused you sexually, you know, do you think we could form a meeting? I learned from God I'm supposed to hug you. No, no, no.

Okay. Let's not oversimplify. There's issues and boundaries, but let's just start with the everyday relationships of where we live in our homes or in our apartments with roommates and at work and our neighborhood and let's say what would happen if we absorb the blow like a pillow and we returned a hug. It's really what Jesus did, isn't it? When he was on the cross, he was hurt, rejected, beaten and it wasn't just by those people, it was by our sin.

And what would he do? He absorbed the blow into your hands, Lord, I commit my spirit. And then he died, he rose from the dead and his father forgive him. He was kind.

He loved. And we're going to learn, you know what that does? It never fails. It's powerful. This is supernaturally responding to evil with good.

This is just normal for God's people. And so let me give you a little assignment. What does your life and schedule indicate you want to be known for? That would be a real honest one to answer, wouldn't it? Second, what's the biggest barrier to you slowing down and simplifying your life?

Chop that down. Have coffee and talk with someone that you can trust that's safe over that one. Third, how can you begin to be more loving this week and with whom? Let's just get it to one person. Just as you're thinking right now, write someone's name down. Who is it that has a little wound, a little hurt, a little dissing, you feel a little rejection. Who could you just absorb the blow, forgive them and give them a hug of some sorts? It might be a note, might be a word of encouragement, might be bringing something up and telling them you forgive them.

I don't know what it is. God will show you. And then here, finally, why is it so critical to understand how much God loves you in order to become more loving? See, your first assignment, are you ready? Your first assignment is not go be more patient and kind and loving. Your first assignment is to let God do that for you.

Some of us, the reason it's so hard to love, we don't let God love us. When we mess up, we beat ourselves up, we feel condemned, all try harder. Yesterday I did one of the dumbest moves in my car probably in the last 10 years and I got in the wrong lane and then I cut over about two and a half lanes to make a freeway exit and as I pulled through and I kind of had it but I did it too fast, I did it too quick and then I didn't see it and a guy was out in the crosswalk and he got by and I just, because I was in a hurry, I mean I just thought and then, it was real quiet, Theresa looked at me like, oh my, and she should have just wailed on me and I finally said, are you okay? She goes, yeah.

She goes, you know, you almost hit that guy. I said, I know it and then I thought of how my whole life could be different because of a hurried, stupid, foolish act and then I started on this journey of, you know, Chip, you know, you're not this, you're not this, you're not this, you're not this and because of this message, instead I just stopped. I said, you know, God, thank you for not giving me the consequences I may have deserved and for that man, I just totally blew it. Father, I'm so sorry. I want to remember you're patient with me.

I'm going to receive your forgiveness right now and for some of you, you'll never be patient with others until you let God be that for you. Chip will be right back with his application for this message, All You Need Is Love from his series, Spiritual Simplicity, Doing Less, Loving More. Most of us live very hectic lives that move too fast, demand too much and deliver too little.

If you're desperate for an alternative that actually works, then this study is for you. Chip's teaching will help you get out of this destructive pattern and reveal how to better prioritize what matters most and love others in a fresh, revolutionary way. If you've missed any part of this series, let me encourage you to catch up via the Chip Ingram app.

Chip's back with me in studio and Chip, in this series, we're learning what it means to do less and love more. And you know, one of the best ways we can do that is by being part of a genuine community of believers. Take a minute, if you would, and explain why that's such an important part of our Christian walk. Well, Dave, I'll tell you, I don't want to oversimplify, but Jesus said, I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly. At the heart of the Christian life, it's allowing Jesus to live his life through you by the power of the Holy Spirit, rooted in the Word of God in the context of community. And that little word bio means life. And so I've just taken that acronym here, Living on the Edge, and it simplifies it for me. If you want the life of Christ lived out, it means B, you have to get before God daily and before him with other people weekly in worship. The I is for in community. You have to do life with people, heart to heart, face to face.

And the O is on mission 24-7. What I've seen so much is people have lost the in community aspect. It's impossible to obey the Word of God, to experience life by yourself. So what we've done is we've put all of our small group resources on sale to encourage you to get in community, get with a group of people, watch the videos on your own, then discuss them. Do it live, do it online, do it however it works best, but take the next step. Get in community.

You'll never regret it. Thanks, Chip. To check out all of our small group resources, go to livingontheedge.org or call 888-333-6003.

And let me tell you, they're so easy to use. Chip provides the teaching, and you and your group will have time to discuss what you've heard with the help of our insightful study guides. So order your small group resources today. And for a limited time, we've discounted them to encourage you to build community. For more details, call 888-333-6003 or visit livingontheedge.org.

App listeners tap special offers. Well, Chip, let's get to that application we promised. Thanks, Dave. You know, as we closed today's program, it brought to my mind the story that I told at the very end of today's broadcast, where I'm just going to be honest with you. Earlier in my life, and it's not all that long ago, I mean, I was that person that was always looking for which lane, you know, is moving faster, and I'd go to that lane and that lane. And in that story, I don't know why, but I was in a real hurry, and I moved from lane to lane to lane, and I looked one way, then the other, and then I started to pull out. And, you know, the guy had a, you know, the little white sign that says he can walk, and he was walking, and I looked up, and I mean, I slammed on the brakes, and my heart stopped. I came within about a foot of hitting that guy, and I would have not hit him a little.

It would have been really, really bad. And I remember the emotion just as I rethink that in my mind and the look that I got from Teresa and realized, I mean, my whole life or that guy's life could be completely different if I would have hit him. And praise God, I didn't. But what it hit at my heart was, Chip, why are you in such a hurry?

Where are you going that's so much more important than everyone else? And this series was birthed some time ago, and I just want to tell you, because sometimes, you know, we all hear a message, or we hear a series, and, you know, we move on, and we make some small applications, but you need to look back a year or two, and not that much changed. I have to tell you, I studied this passage and got new insights from 1 Corinthians 13, and it started a transformation in my life, and the transformation was to slow down. I remember Dallas Willard talking about how impossible it is to grow spiritually and to grow deep if you're in a hurry. John Mark Comer later wrote a book built much off of what Dallas Willard and John Ortberg had written about ruthlessly eliminating hurry from your life. But here's what I want to say to you.

You're never going to love more unless you slow down. And one of my practices was when I went to the grocery store, and I did this for like six months. I got in the longest line. When I got in traffic, I did this for actually almost two years. I had to break my addiction. I drove in the right-hand lane.

It was painful. And I just thought, you know, I guess I'm going to go the speed limit and stay here, and if there's a super slow car, I'd go around it and then get back in that right lane. And what I found is my stress went down. I had time to think. I wasn't in a hurry. I'm going to ask you today, just this week for the next seven days, would you be willing to drive in the right-hand lane and not go fast?

Just this week, if you don't like that one, would you be willing when you go to the grocery store? How about this? Not the shortest line or not the longest line. How about the middle line? And refuse to look back and forth to see which one's moving the fastest. And relax in that line and refuse to pull out your phone and try and accomplish something. You might find that if you become present with where you are and you slow down your life, you will start to experience the very things that God wants most for you. Love.

Great word, Chip. And as we close, I want you to know that as a staff, we ask the Lord to help you take whatever your next faith step is, and we'd love to hear how it's going. Would you take a minute to send us a note or give us a quick call?

Either one is easy. Email us at chip at livingontheedge.org or call 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003. Or email chip at livingontheedge.org. We can't wait to hear from you. We'll join us next time as Chip continues his series, Spiritual Simplicity. Until then, I'm Dave Druey thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.