Get Out of Your Head - The Antidote for Victimhood and Complacency

The Bible says that we are more than conquerors in Jesus, but some days it surely doesn't feel that way. If your circumstances or some of the wrong that has been done to you has beaten you down and you've gotten to where you're convinced life isn't fair and you don't know how to get out from under that, well, stay with me. That's what we're going to talk about today. Don't go away. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.

Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry featuring the daily Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Drouin, and in just a minute we'll wrap up our new series, Get Out of Your Head, taught by our guest speaker, Jenny Allen. For those who don't know, Jenny's a best-selling author, experienced Bible teacher, and the founder of the If Gathering events. In this series, Jenny's been identifying seven toxic thoughts that pollute our minds and seven remedies that can stop them in their tracks. We hope that this has been a very encouraging series for you.

So if you would, take a minute after the message and share it with a friend, either through the Chip Ingram app or by downloading the free MP3s that you'll find at livingontheedge.org. Well, now here's Jenny with her message, the antidote for victimhood and complacency. All right, guys, we are talking about something that can feel heavy, but I think is going to change your thinking and change your life because we have accidentally all become victims.

And I'm telling you, you want to talk about something that robs joy. It is not believing we have responsibility over our lives, that we have authority or power over our lives. When we start to believe that we are victims to our lives, to our circumstances, to our thoughts, to our feelings, to our situations, oh my gosh, that is where we become paralyzed. We become defeated. We become sad, sad, sad.

And so this one matters. It is absolutely rampant in our culture. To some degree, all of us have taken up this banner of victimhood in some way.

It might be in a relationship where you've been wounded. It might be with a circumstance that just feels so unfair. We have been owning this idea that we are so wronged. And I say no more, no more. And the reason I say no more is because that is a miserable way to live. And it's not even true that God has given us so much authority and power over our circumstances, over our feelings, over our mind, over our attitudes about things that we can change. And we don't have to live like this. So let's talk about first of all, there are real victims.

I want to be super clear. I'm not saying that there are not real victims. My gosh, the news, you just have to watch it one minute and you see true atrocity against mankind, like just things that you can't, your stomach can't even barely handle of the difficult circumstances so many of you are facing right now.

It's unthinkable. Some of you have been victimized to such an incredible level. And so I just want to say to all of you that have been abused, to all of you that have been wounded and hurt by people, I am so, so sorry. And no, I'm not saying that you aren't a victim. You are a victim to a crime, to a perpetrator, to an action that was done against you. You are a victim. But what's interesting is as I've interviewed people that are victims, what I've found is that so many of them don't even like that word. They don't want to use that word about themselves because they don't want to give that much power to their perpetrator. They like the word survivor better because that puts the power in their court.

They're saying, you know what? I survived you. I survived that attack. And I think what I've heard and learned from them is that being a survivor puts the power back in their court and they want to be those that are not defined by the thing that happened to them. What I'm speaking to is the victimhood mentality of all of us that continues to feel like we have been wronged and life isn't fair.

And it's us against the world. I'm going to use a story about my son as an example. When my son came home recently from fishing with some friends, he had this story of just, I mean, wow, it was bad.

Like how he got treated went down. I was like, wow, this is pretty bad. And then I was like, well, Cooper, what did you do to bring this on?

And he said, well, you know, I mean, I mean, it wasn't fair, but I got mad because so-and-so said this and then I threw his stuff in the lake. And I was like, well, okay, buddy, you know, not so much of a victim. And I think that's what I'm talking about is not true victims that have been completely sinned against and abused. I'm talking about the fact that we are moving in and out of relationships, in and out of circumstances where we continue to just go, woe is me. I am being wronged by the world when likely we need to take some more responsibility for our own actions.

And how have we contributed to the situation? Also I'm talking about victimhood that steals the power of God from a situation where we begin to speak as if there's helplessness and hopelessness when God has said, I've made you more than conquerors. I've made you more than conquerors.

And I've equipped you like Corinthian says, with divine weapons to destroy strongholds. So we are not victims. I'm talking about just our stubborn will. You know, I'm just talking to the stubborn will in all of us that just says, poor me.

We have a poor me mentality. And what happens when we live in that and even if we struggle with mental illness, even if we struggle with victimhood from real serious hurt and abuse and crimes, we still can't live in that place of poor me or we're going to lose all our joy and we're not going to believe God for healing. We're not going to believe God for a future and a hope.

And so what I'm saying is we got to shift that. So let's look at the scriptures. First Thessalonians 5, 16 through 18. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. How does God say we change and shift our mindset from poor me to good God? And it is this, it is with gratitude. It is with gratitude.

It is with worship. It is that we see the good in our lives. People that are grateful are happier. This is not mysterious science stuff.

This is science though. In the studies that I looked at universally, people that just say things like thank you, they actually change their chemistry. They change the way that their bodies are working. Expressing gratitude caused subjects in the study that the National Institute of Health did to increase dopamine hits. The reward transmitters actually send happy thoughts to your brain.

Like this is something that changes our chemistry. This isn't just something that God says to do, because it's the right thing to do. God hard wired us to be grateful people. Our model for this is Paul, right? I mean, he was often in difficult circumstances. And yet he had this ability to view his life within this framework of eternity and with this framework of great hope, and great joy, and great gratitude. If all Paul saw were his circumstances and his imprisonment, then he would have been despondent.

But he didn't just see that. He actually saw the power of God to use him in the midst of those circumstances. He saw the power of God to use him in the midst of a generation by writing these letters to the churches. He saw the power of God to eventually rescue him and bring him home. So there was great hope in Paul that whatever his circumstances were, they were God given. And how could he twist them instead of being the victim in prison, even as an innocent man? How could he twist that circumstance and believe that he was in the exact right spot? So that, Philippians says, that even the guards are seeing the glory of God in him. Like this is what happened in prison is that guards were saved. Like he saw himself as a missionary, even in prison, even when he was so unjustly treated. I think this whole idea of living a life of gratitude instead of victimhood, it feels daunting.

It feels like, how do I move into this? And I think the way that we've got to do it is, one, we've got to believe in all of these situations that these supernatural, divinely powerful weapons that Corinthians talks about, that they're real. That we are actually fighting with real weapons, even though they're invisible. That gratitude is a weapon that slays darkness. That prayer is a weapon that slays darkness. That connection with other people and them fighting for us, it slays darkness.

Time with God, it slays darkness. So we can't treat these like, oh, I'm just going to say a prayer. It's like, no, I'm going to fight the devil. You know, that's what we're doing with prayer. And so we've got to believe in these things that God is saying his power dwells in because it's supernatural, fighting supernatural, right? And so what the enemy wants is for us to lay down and be impotent, to just not be able to do anything good, to just sit there and feel sorry for ourselves and be passive recipients of a hard life until we get to heaven because that is a sad state of affairs. The dangerous ones are the ones that get up, grab the sword and go fight.

I mentioned my husband's grandfather who's in his 90s that fought in World War II. He was dropped out of an airplane. His parachute didn't open. He crashes, blacks out. He's in a prisoner of war camp in Germany.

I mean, it was dark and horrible. He loses fingers. He's just this man that has everything stacked against him. And yet he's like, no, I'm going to go be a great husband. I'm going to build a great life. I'm going to obey God. I'm going to raise my kids to love God.

I'm going to be a good man. And I watch his life and I go, okay, that is what it looks like. Like fighting the good fight is choosing delight and choosing joy and choosing gratitude instead of choosing cynicism and victimhood.

This is what it looks like. We slay the darkness by choosing joy over choosing to pout our whole lives because life wasn't fair. And I'm not saying life hasn't been really unfair to you.

Goodness gracious. I'm saying that there is a God that's bigger than it and that living as a victim to it is not an option for you. Like it is not a way to live. And being someone who sees the good through it and I mean, this is something my sister could preach so much better than me because she has tasted darkness beyond anything I could ever imagine. She has tasted brokenness beyond anything I could ever imagine. But I watched her up close and I can tell you she chose gratitude. And God protected her joy, protected her delight, protected her heart. And she still loves him. And she still loves those kids.

And she's not bitter and she's not angry. And it is just forgiveness is a better way to live. It's a better way to live. So we have a choice. We can center our thoughts on the certainty that no matter what comes, we are upheld securely by God's righteous right hand.

So how does this actually flush itself out? One, I think we've got to see it in ourselves. And we got to ask bold questions of our friends. We need to ask our friends like, do you see me being a victim to my circumstances, to my mind, to my emotions?

Ask that question to people that know you really well. And be ready for the answer. Because honestly, this enemy that's fighting for us, people see it. And then we got to own that. And we got to say, okay, what does it look like for me not to live as a victim to this?

What does it look like for me to with authority and with power to trust God more and to hope more and to believe the truth about myself to believe the truth about my future. And that's going to take war, right? We're at war.

All of these situations, all these things. Remember, these are enemies. They are coming for us. And we've got to fight back. We can't just passively get over this and like have a positive thought. We have to fight this in a bigger way than just changing our thinking. We have to actually go to war with it.

Go to war with these weapons. And I'm telling you, gratitude is one that helps this. When you are going through something where you feel beat up or you feel like backed in a corner where you feel like, helpless, hopeless, I want you to start noticing, noticing the good in people, noticing the good from God, noticing the good in your life. And all of a sudden, it's like, oh, you know what?

Everything is not going to hell in a pan basket. I actually see God advocating for me. I see good happening around me. I see good in myself. I see myself being stronger than I was yesterday.

I see myself getting up today and taking care of my kids when I didn't think I could breathe. You start to notice those things and you start to realize how strong you are, how strong God has made you and how good He has been to you and how much He's watching out for you. It is a different way to live.

It's a supernaturally different way to live. You've been listening to author and speaker Jenny Allen here on Living on the Edge. I'm Chip Ingram and Jenny is our guest speaker for this series, Get Out of Your Head. Today, she's been talking about the dangers of the victimhood mindset that's gripped our generation. For the rest of today's program, she's going to highlight the seventh and last toxic thought that threatens to steal our joy, complacency. Jenny continues today from Galatians chapter five.

So let's look at the scriptures. You, my brothers and sisters, are called to be free, but do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh, to be lazy, I'm adding that myself, rather serve one another humbly in love. And I'm adding to be lazy because I do believe it is a temptation of our generation to check out, to numb out. It's all too much. We're bombarded with too many problems. What can we do about it? How do we even help? And we pull back and get online and we zone out and we numb out and we get complacent. And I'm going to interchange the word lazy with this because I really believe that we need to hate this word.

I think complacency sounds kind of neutral, but laziness, that's not okay. But the way the enemy is getting us to it is he's just overwhelming us to the point that we, we don't think we can participate in this big story because there's just too much to do. My husband always says the definition of leadership is taking initiative for the good of others. And so as we start to reject passivity, and we lean into the needs around us, what happens to our minds is that they get set on the things of God, they get set on other people, and they get set on things of God. I've talked about this before that Hebrews 12 is a theme passage for me, and I want to say something about it again, and that it says, we fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfect of our faith. We throw off the sin and the weight that so easily entangles us and run the race that's set before us. Didn't get the order right on that, but it doesn't matter because what I believe happens is that's happening simultaneously, that all three of those things are happening at the same time, that as we run the race that's set before us, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus because we need Him. And the sin and the weight falls off of us because we've got a mission, and we're busy, and we're tired, and we're running after God. And so that idea of mission and intentionality leading and loving well, that God's called us to that idea of doing it, it feels big to us, it feels unknowable to us, it feels like we're not equipped for it, and we dismiss ourselves.

But y'all, as you get on the track and get off the sidelines and just start doing it, you cannot believe how much of your sin and weight falls off of you. You don't have time to think about yourself so much. You don't have time to think about your problems so much. You don't have time to be a victim.

You don't have time to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. But you do have time for God because you need Him, because you're actually taking risk, and you're nervous, and you don't know what's about to happen, and you're praying more, and you're asking God for miracles in your friends' lives, and you're praying for God to move around you. And so there's this movement in your life that is God-centered and God-propelled, but requires our initiative to participate. I love that God does this.

I mean, ideally, if I'm God, I would just make everybody robots, like, you will participate in the movement of my work, because I want you all to do what I want you to do. But that's not how God built us. He built us with a choice.

And we've talked about this a lot throughout this series, that we have a choice. We have a choice what we think about, we have a choice how we live, we have a choice in our perspective. And we have a choice when it comes to spending our lives for ourselves, selfishly, lazily, or we have a choice to spend our lives well for the glory of God and the good of people. And I'm telling you, it is the best way to live.

Science would tell you that subconsciously, you want to please yourself, you want to take care of yourself, you want to feed every desire that you have. But that brains that actually don't do that, that serve others, and that spend more of their time thinking about other people are the healthiest brains, those are actually the ones that are thriving. The science research that I did on this said consistently that serving others reduces stress, that there's a deeper connection in your life to other people, people who live with purpose, they actually sleep better, and they live longer like this is physically affecting us, our brains are made to serve other people.

I really cannot sell this hard enough. And the reason I mean it is because as you serve God, and you get on board with His mission, so many things fall in their place. You are dependent on Him, you are quick to ask for forgiveness, so the mission isn't disrupted. I think in my own life, because I'm on mission, how many times I am lulled out of complacency, just because a lot has been given to me, and a lot is expected of me.

Yes, in my flesh, like Galatians, I would like to use my freedom to serve my flesh. That sounds good on a lot of days. But the truth is, I have a deadline. I have somebody that needs me.

I have a meeting that is to serve an organization I care about. I have something that propels me out of bed and away from Netflix on a given day. And I'm so grateful for that. The times in my life where I've really, you know, taken too long of a break, I start to get selfish and I start to just, you know what I do? You know what I do? I internet shop. That's what I do. I get online and I start to shop. And do I need another thing in my entire life? I really don't. And I'll send stuff back. I'll just send it to my house, try it on, send it back. I know.

All the men are like, I know your type. You live in my house. I know. I know. We frustrate you. But it's too easy. So what happens when I don't have enough to do? I get selfish. I get complacent. I get lazy.

I get materialistic. I feed my flesh. My flesh grows. I feed the Spirit.

The Spirit grows. And service feeds the Spirit. Sacrifice feeds the Spirit. Now I'm not talking about sacrifice for the sake of sacrifice.

I'm talking about obedient, godly, risky sacrifice for the glory of God. And guys, it is a more difficult way to live. It goes against your flesh and what you want to do with your own freedom. But I'm telling you, it is how we were built to live.

And we are not joyful and we are not free any other way. You want your mind to be free. You go serve people and you get out from under the idolatry of yourself.

And I'm telling you, your mind starts to shift. It is getting in the game. It is not sitting on the sidelines with your arms crossed, being critical of everything happening on the field. It's actually getting in the game and serving God.

Now, I know some of you are processing, what does it look like to use my gifts? I don't know what I'm good at. I don't know what God wants me to do.

You know what? There is need right in front of you. And that need, you don't have to go find some mysterious calling or a mission field.

It's right where you are. What is the need in your neighborhood? What is the need in your kids' friends' lives? What is the need in your kids? What is the need in your marriage?

What is the need in your friends' lives? You look right in front of you and you meet need. It's a great way to live. And as we do it and as we serve God, the supernatural power of service is that we are not so focused and fixated on ourselves. So we shift our gaze and we see that there's a greater plan for our lives than building a comfortable life. And we interrupt the spiral of self and this pattern of complacency when we run the race that's set before us. This is how God designed us to live. Now, I know all of us, we're coming to the end of this and you're going, oh no, I'm still thinking negative thoughts.

You know what? You know what you're doing now that you didn't do before this is you're noticing your thoughts. So now you even know that you're having negative thoughts. You know that you're thinking about yourself too much.

And prior to this, that wasn't your story. We were just victims to our minds, victims to our thoughts and what we can do when we notice our thoughts, when we start to see these negative patterns in our life that maybe we didn't even know were there before, we can start to fight it. And we have these weapons, service, gratitude, stillness with God, connection, trust, delight. These are the weapons God has given us to fight the enemies of our mind.

And guess what? Y'all, God wins. These weapons are powerful enough to destroy strongholds. They are powerful enough to change our minds. The next verse in 2 Corinthians when he talks about destroying strongholds, the next verse is, so we take every thought captive because we are no longer in bondage to the enemy of our mind. We don't have to submit to the enemy of our mind anymore. If we are children of God, we have power over it.

And Paul knows this. So he says, so take that power and use it. Take this power and have authority over your thoughts. Take this power and quit being so selfish and complacent and go change the world. Like that's what God wants for us.

He has a plan for us to shift our circumstances and our mind so that we can shift our world. And that is contagious. A healthy mind is contagious, just like a toxic one is contagious. A healthy mind is contagious. When you get around somebody whose mind is fixed on Christ, whose mind loves and serves intentionally other people, those people you want to be around them.

You want to be like them and you want to be around them. My grandmother was this way, actually both my grandmother's but specifically my mom's mom. I just remember she didn't talk about God a lot, but she loved him. And she just lived so content. And she lived focused on whoever was in front of her. You were her hero when you were in her presence.

You are her hero. She believed in you. She fought for you. She wanted you to know that she loved you. She was a steady force and picture of a healthy mind.

And the woman was disciplined. I mean, she had her same things every day. She gardened.

She cooked. My granddad gardened. They had a simple, steady routine. And they kept their minds focused on the people that mattered and the things that mattered. And they loved God. And they showed that in their actions and the ways that they love people. And guys, that's what this life looks like. It looks like faithful, steady obedience.

Our minds fixed on Christ, loving other people. And as we do, the world changes a little bit by a little bit. And you want to live a life like this that's contagious.

You want a mind like this that is healthy. The power of God is within you. You are not left alone as an orphan. He has given us a counselor. He's given us himself in the form of the Spirit. And that Spirit, if you follow Christ, is accessible to you. And it is powerful.

And so we are not left alone to figure this out. I am telling you, He loves you. And He's fighting for you. And He's with you.

And He wants to see you take greater strides for His kingdom and for His glory. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Jenny Allen has been our guest teacher for this program, The Antidote for Victimhood and Complacency, which is from her series, Get Out of Your Head.

Chip will join us in just a minute to share his application for this message. Let me ask you a question. What drives your thought life? Is it anxiety, loneliness, feeling like the world's out to get you?

Perhaps you're really pessimistic or obsessed with being recognized. Well, in this series, Jenny identifies seven common thoughts that are actually toxic to our lives and can derail our connection with God. Don't miss how we can break free from these dangerous mindsets by wielding the power God's already given us. If you're wanting to learn more about this topic, let me encourage you to get Jenny's book, Get Out of Your Head. For complete details, go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003 or livingontheedge.org.

App listeners, tap Special Offers. Well, Chip's with me in studio now. And Chip, Jenny spent the last half of today's message talking about the toxic thought of complacency and how it's polluting Christianity. Now take a minute, if you would, and talk about how pervasive this problem is and what Living on the Edge is doing about it. We've got millions of people going to church, going through the motions, many of them sincere but ignorant about the gospel, about truth.

Their lives don't change. We have a whole generation of young people saying, you can have your Jesus and your churchianity and I'm out of here because they don't see reality. And Living on the Edge has been called to declare war on religious activity that doesn't align with the Jesus of the New Testament.

But we can't do it without you. I grew up in that environment and I turned away from God, and I just praise God that he brought people into my life that clearly explained the gospel, but as importantly, they lived it out. And they lived it out in real life and loved me and cared for me, and they were holy and they weren't weird. God longs to do that in our day. And the message of Living on the Edge is helping Christians live like Christians. We do it through teaching, we create resources, but it requires a team. And for us to do it moving toward the future, as God has opened more and more doors, I simply tell you, I need your help. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with us today and kind of move that good intention? You thought about it, I ought to help them out. Yeah, I already decided in my head I would, but the fact is you haven't acted on it yet. Act on it today. Let's make a difference. Thanks, Chip. Well, if partnering with Living on the Edge is an idea that makes sense to you, we'd love to have you join us.

Helping Christians live like Christians will change the world we live in. To give a gift, call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003. Or if you prefer to give online, go to livingontheedge.org. That's livingontheedge.org.

App listeners tap donate. Thank you for partnering with us. Well, now here's Chip with a few final thoughts for you to think about. As we wrap up today's message and the entire series by Jenny Allen entitled, Get Out of Your Head, I'd like to do a brief review. And as I walk through these very slowly, I'd like you to be thinking about which one of these toxic thoughts that you need to address. You maybe heard it earlier, but you think, you know, I need to come up with a plan to really address it.

Listen carefully. Toxic thought number one, noise. Number two, isolation. Number three, anxiety. Number four, cynicism. Number five, pride. Number six, victimhood. And number seven, complacency.

You know, we all struggle with those things. I love Jenny's teaching. I love her passion. And I love that she develops these fully in her book entitled, Get Out of Your Head. And just so that you don't miss the answers, the antidotes. She didn't leave us with, hey, try hard.

She said, here's the antidotes. It's silence. It's connection. It's trust. It's delight. It's humility.

It's gratitude and intentionality. The overall message, I mean, the take home point is to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. What I've learned over these years is that we are a product of our thought life. I mean, if you would want to do a very quick Bible study, just look up passages that have the mind.

Colossians chapter three, the first four verses, or Romans eight, verses five through eight, or Proverbs 23 colon seven. I mean, all of them talk about your thinking. You are the product of your thinking. And we have to replace the false and the lies and the toxic with the truth.

And then we have to believe that truth and put it into practice. And what I love about having Jenny Allen on our broadcast was the opportunity for us at Living on the Edge to hear God's word through another voice, through another lens, through the lens of a woman that's grown up differently than me or some of our other speakers, the lens of a woman who's reaching and touching and helping other women, the lens of a woman that walks humbly with God, that believes in the authority of scripture and is practical, is passionate, and I think has helped us get out of our own heads and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Thanks, Chip. As we close, you know a great way to stay engaged and connected to Chip and Living on the Edge is with the Chip Ingram app. You'll get free access to all of Chip's recent messages, his message notes, and much more. Not only that, but it couldn't be easier to call or email directly from the app. Well, until next time, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.