Jesus Unfiltered - Follow - No More Shame, Part 1

Let's face it, we've all made mistakes, some big, some not so big. And for many of us, those mistakes are shaping our life right now and are threatening to shape our future as well. Would you like to know how you can break free of your past mistakes? God wants to help you.

Stay with me and find out. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Drouie, and the mission of these daily programs is to intentionally disciple Christians through the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. In a minute, he'll continue the second volume of his Jesus Unfiltered series titled Follow. For the next couple of broadcasts, Chip's going to tackle the subject of shame, a topic most of us would rather avoid.

Sadly, as many of us have experienced, shame can be a powerful and debilitating emotion, but don't lose hope. Today, Chip's going to share an encouraging word God has for each one of us. Now, this is such a relatable topic, so let me encourage you, after today's message, to share it with someone in your life.

Now, you can easily do that through the Chip Ingram app or by downloading and sharing the free MP3s that you'll find at livingontheedge.org. Now, here's Chip with his message from John, Chapter 8. As we get started, I'd like you to lean back before we open the Bible, look at your notes, and I want to ask you a few questions, four very, very important questions. Question number one is what's the biggest mistake that you have ever made in your life? I mean, what's your biggest regret? I mean, when you think back of your whole life, if there's one thing that you could do over, one decision you wish you hadn't made or one decision you wish you would have stepped in and done something and you didn't.

What is it? There's no way that we can talk about Jesus and life unless we talk about Jesus and life and our failure, we all fail. And for some it was an affair, for others it was an abortion, or for others it was, you know, prodding someone to get an abortion. For some you just hurt someone deeply, badly, or you betrayed someone.

For some of us it was a lie, a very, very big lie and you just, for the life of you can't, why did I do that? But everybody either small or big has some things that are a big mistake. Put another way, if you could have a do-over, if you could kind of take time and move it back and that certain day do something different than you did, what would it be? What would you do differently?

You got it? Now I understand part of this is kind of unfair probing around and because of the way our minds work and the levels of protection that we have for ourselves, I know I'm poking for some of you, you haven't thought about that big mistake in ten years, or five, or twenty. And so question number three digs just a little bit deeper. How do you picture God when you think of that big mistake? How do you picture you, what you did, and God?

How does that fit together in your mind? What's his attitude towards you? Have you built a little compartment where, you know, somehow you intellectually know better but you think he doesn't see that? Or maybe the last question, how have you chosen to deal with that big mistake that maybe it was far in your past or maybe you're living with it? Have you tried to hide it like no one knows?

Or only two people and they've promised never to tell? Have you just pushed it down? Repressed it? Tried to forget it? Tried to not deal with it? I've just got to move on? I mean as humans we have a wide array of ways that we try and handle stuff that's very difficult but our souls don't let things go.

Something gets in there and it's very very difficult. Have you decided that you'll make up for it? That's a pretty typical response. I did that but this is what I'm going to do now and I'm going to pay back and I'm going to. Or for some it just becomes kind of I'm going to learn from that. Everybody makes mistakes. It's not that big a deal and you keep sort of rationalizing and for others part of the drivenness inside your life and your soul is I'm going to try harder.

I'm going to make sure that or something like it never happens again. Mistakes, blowing it, sin, really good people doing really bad things in a weak moment is part of being human. How you deal with them however sets the trajectory for your whole life and you probably will not be surprised but most people never fully or deeply deal with the big mistakes of their past and as a result unconsciously even it has major impact on their today.

It has major impact on your future and it has major impact on your soul. We're going to look at a story where someone does something very wrong and gets exposed. It's probably one of the more famous stories Christians, non-Christians all around the world the story that we'll read people are familiar with and have been quoted and it's how Jesus deals with failure. It's God's attitude. It's the picture in your mind of when someone comes to him honestly and broken and there's no place to hide, no place to run.

This is how God will respond to you and to me. It's the woman caught in adultery. It is John chapter 8 if you would open your Bible. The context is the Feast of Lights or the Feast of Tabernacles has happened. There's been food and music and parties and this occurs in a place called the Court of the Women or sometimes it's referred to as a treasury and there's 15 small steps that lead up to it and it's the big pathway where people are and then on the other side of that is the holy place and then beyond that in the temples the Holy of Holies and the leadership the Sanhedrin would meet over here and this is a large general area that's called the Court of the Women and eight days of festivals have happened. In this place there's been four huge candelabras that are one researcher says that they were on about a hundred to a hundred and fifty feet high huge torches because they celebrated the light of God and it would glow all over Jerusalem and all of that's done and if you can imagine sort of after a big rock concert or a huge event you know there's sort of the big letdown and it's the day after and it's dawn and when large groups of people get together with lots of music and lots of food and lots of fun and celebration usually some really wonderful things happen and often some not so wonderful things happen.

Let's pick up the story follow along. They each went to their own house but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning literally it's at dawn he came to the temple and the people came to him and he sat down to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who'd been caught in adultery and placing her in the midst they said to him, teacher this woman has been caught in the act literally in the very act of adultery. Now in the law of Moses it commands us to stone such a woman so what do you say?

They said this to test him that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the ground and as they continued to ask him he stood up and he said to them let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her and once more he bent down and one by one they left beginning with the older ones and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him and Jesus stood up and said to her and I believe they made direct eye contact, woman where are they? Has no one condemned you?

No one Lord and Jesus said neither do I condemn you go and sin no more. They wanted to trap him so here was the trap. He has challenged the spiritually elite, the religious laws, they're stuck in their religiosity, they're stuck in their performance and he's threatened everything. He's made outrageous claims about he's the Messiah, that he in fact is God, that he's come to forgive the sins of the people. Multitudes and popularity have been off the charts, he's done miracles, he's fed 5,000 people, he's raised a little girl from the dead. His disciples have actually seen him walk on water and now at the feast of the tabernacles he's gone public six months before the crucifixion this occurs and he declares himself as the Messiah in the hope of the world and so the religious leaders we got to take him out.

I would assume that this was a set up for this woman, I don't know how you exactly just knock door to door, anyone committing adultery in here we need a little evidence so I'm guessing that it was a set up and here is the set up. The law of Moses, in other words the Old Testament teaches that if two are caught in the act of adultery they should be brought forth and stoned. Well it had not been practiced and the Pharisees had realigned scripture and realigned interpretation and Jesus has been this champion of the people and the Roman government told the Jews you don't have any right to execute anyone so they really didn't care what Jesus did. They wanted to put him between the rock and the hard place. If he says oh don't stoner you disagree with Moses, oh you don't believe in the law we're going to charge you religiously. If he would have said okay yes stoner, the common people would have said where's your compassion number one and number two Rome would have said you can't do that.

They didn't care all they wanted to do was take him out. He knew it was a trap so in the context he leans down and he starts to kind of write in the dirt and I don't know about you have you ever wondered like what he was writing in the dirt? What I'm about to say I'm going to go on record is a Chippism okay this is not to be confused with I mean don't go tell someone you know everyone's really wondered what he was writing in the dirt and Chipp told us what he was you know okay but I think this is I think it's close. Now in Hebrew you go left to right but since I can't do that I'm going to go right to left and there's this crowd and this woman caught in the act and the shame and the embarrassment she's overwhelmed and I think if he did in English he would have started W H E R E apostrophe S. When you write in the dirt you can't write too many words so I think he's going to go with three then T H E and then probably in really bold letters M A N. Where's the man? See the Old Testament law said if you are caught in the act of adultery bring them. These Pharisees didn't care about the woman what they wanted to do was set up Jesus so they in all likelihood got a man to be complicit in this and Jesus is saying wait a second I'm calling you this isn't honest this isn't a concern for the law this isn't the concern for righteousness you violated the law where's the man and then he did what I think is sort of the ultimate spiritual judo move right they're coming at him and he does this and he throws them into a dilemma and the dilemma that he throws them in is first of all if you are an accuser in the act of adultery the scripture says you have to be the first ones to cast the stone because you were the eyewitnesses and so he gives this premise anyone here who's never sinned cast the first stone well now now the Pharisees are realizing well wait a second if we cast the first stone we'll be guilty of the very thing that Jesus would have been guilty that we wanted to trap him but if we don't cast a stone we're admitting that we have sin that there's something wrong with us and so now sort of in like manner it doesn't matter how they respond Jesus has trapped them and really what his heart was his heart was to show these people and show us how will God respond to the biggest mistake of your life how will God respond to the thing that if you could do it you would go back in time and you would do a do-over how would God respond to the thing that down deep in your heart makes you feel guilty and dirty and ashamed and you've either repressed or tried to forget or make up for or you try harder how would God really respond and part of this story is so that you would know this wasn't just for this woman this is for me and this is for you the truth I want you to ponder is when we started I put it on the front of your notes John chapter 1 we're told exactly why Jesus came to the earth and we're told exactly who he is it says for the law was given through Moses but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ when you come and own your stuff and you have a broken heart and you're willing to be ruthlessly honest and you come to God with I blew it this is what I did no excuses no blaming no stuff this is me like this woman caught in the very act no place to hide Jesus will always greet you God will always greet you with grace and truth isn't this what he did to the woman does no one condemn you neither do I grace truth go and sin no more does he accept the behavior does he condone what she's done no but there's compassion and there's forgiveness and that's what I can receive when I blow it and that's what you can receive when you blow it and see usually we air this there's people that are just grace grace grace grace grace and all it is is just it's just sympathy it's just wistful thinking there's no freedom when it's all grace and no truth other people were just true true true true and they're really hard and all that is is legalism when you study the life of Jesus as you are you will see in every situation there's this perfect winsome balance of truth doesn't compromise what we've done and grace where there's not just forgiveness but restoration he actually forgives the word literally means to be released from God puts it behind you the Old Testament talks about as far as the east is from the west God has removed our sins from us the New Testament says if we confess our sins he's faithful and just to forgive us of all of our sins and cleanse us from all of our iniquities but here's what I think a lot of you don't believe I don't think a lot of to believe that God not only forgives but can completely restore and completely heal and so when I went through those hard penetrating questions a lot of things went through your mind and you said oh God thank you you've forgiven me but you really haven't dealt with it because you if that would ever be public if anyone ever found out if so-and-so what about oh you just can't believe that God or God's people could get down to the root in the heart of that and make you whole and deal with your shame there's a video it's very brief I want you to see because it's a picture of how this actually happens Dave did one of the most courageous things I've ever seen any man do in fact it's very rare in churches I've been a pastor for over 30 years and I've I've seen all kinds of people whether on staff as pastors or people in the church and when sexual sin happens and there's a restoration program I've watched lots of people go about a month or six weeks or maybe three months and then as we did we paid for counseling for Dave and Kendall and there's accountability and support provided and you go on this journey because the goal is restoration the goal is it to make people feel bad or push them down or they've got enough of that the goal is you deal with the truth but it's restoration and all I can tell you is the great majority of people they bail out the counselor starts poking around about some of the deep areas and some of the consequences and they bail out and Dave didn't he was courageous he was honest he didn't run he didn't hide he didn't blame and he is at a place where God will use he and Kendall probably in the future even more than in the past there's things he's done in them through that pain there's maturity that's happened and this is a moment where you say thank you second thing though is that I've been around the block in churches too and there's a there's a pretty significant reason why a lot of people don't go public and don't ever deal with the things that need to be dealt with I was speaking to a friend getting to know each other really really well and part of his history he was in full-time ministry he had an affair that went on for a significant amount of time he lost his wife and he lived in that situation he lived with the lie he lived with the pain he lived with all the things this is right but this is where I'm at there's like these two forces and one pulls at you so strong of what you're experiencing in the sexual sin and the other pulls at you you know this is right and you want to confess you want to make it right with God and he said I so wanted to do this but honestly I thought God would forgive me but I just wasn't very sure about the church I just didn't know how I'd be you know received I just I just thought I don't know that I want to go there I got an email from Kendall and she shared with me a little bit more of their journey and I will tell you that Dave and Kendall's journey may be in the top 1% of the most wonderful moments I've ever had in ministry in my life of seeing the body of Christ act and respond and the beauty and the power that God calls us to and see a man and a woman courageously deal with pain and be completely restored I want to share a bit of what she shared with me and I want you to listen very carefully because here's what I know 50% of the men in this room are involved in pornography right now about 30 or 35% of 18 to 30 year olds are currently sleeping together or living together who are born-again Christians and by the way it's not restricted to them that's just where we have the stats sexual sin is epidemic in our culture and it's now epidemic inside the church and I think lots of people's souls are stuck but I want you to hear the inward journey Kendall writes the night Dave shared with me about his unfaithfulness he took full responsibility for his actions he shared openly and honestly in that moment God brought clarity perspective to my heart I too had come to a place of deep despair and lack of trust in God after Dave's chronic pain diagnosis and the loss of our baby Kendall says God opened my eyes to my pain as I looked at this man I'd known for 15 years and I saw a man that was so broken and hurting so desperate to get out of physical and emotional pain so responsible for his actions asking for forgiveness all I could say is God would not let me turn him away or reject him I told him that I loved him and that I forgave him and I would be willing to work through this with him we talked a lot that night and I knew immediately there would be significant consequences for his job I knew he'd be resigning and I also know he would need to do it publicly I'd seen this done both well and very poorly in churches but I believed our church would respond well to us I wanted Dave to be able to take ownership of his behavior and then demonstrate in real life the things that we taught the high school ministry and claim to believe I was also in need of support and I knew going somewhere else would be very difficult listen to this I believe the people of our church who had already demonstrated their love and support over us over the last years would do the same things I believe they would see in Dave what I saw in him the next week Dave shared in front of the ministry in the high school that he'd crossed a sexual boundary and be resigning I asked to go up so that we could pray with them for Dave and see the faces of those that we loved and in a sense it was our last opportunity to lead through how we responded to failure the next weekend an announcement was made and Dave's letter was read to nearly 3,000 people in attendance and the weekend services we didn't go to church that day but the following Sunday talk about courage the following Sunday they didn't run they didn't hide they didn't repress they didn't try to make up for it the following Sunday we made our ways down the halls into the worship center as we'd done every week for the last eight years the first Sunday back I was anxiously confident I believe people would respond lovingly toward us but I also knew it's hard to handle and some people probably can't I was so grateful for the families and friends that demonstrated their love for us that first week in the next couple of months and now years people we had known for many years would see us across the worship center or down the hall and they would come right up to us encouraging Dave and sharing their support and love for me and encouraging me to still meet with their students and they just loved us without asking details or questions or judging us our friends protected us they protected our privacy they honored us in a way that I'll forever be grateful for they continue to be people that we meet with on a regular basis for community and accountability their acts of kindness and love allowed us the opportunity to heal in our own time in our own way without shame and without embarrassment do you hear the hope I've been a Christian since I was 12 and I walked with God through some very difficult times this is listen carefully God is going to ask those of you and those of us who are involved in sin but specifically sexual sin to come clean the way Dave did and here's what you will experience from God I've been through difficult times but I have never experienced the intimacy and the gentle love of God in ways that I have in this season of my life his presence has been so real it's almost tangible through his word his people his creation he's undeniably spoken into my life gently meeting me and slowly walking me through deep places of pain and fear and shame and giving direction and clarity and hope and perspective the process of obedient surrender has been slow and not without missteps and failures but I see the trajectory of life is heading toward wholeness and intimacy in my relationship with God and with Dave how does healing like this really occur what's the process how do you move from simply experiencing forgiveness and knowing in your heart you've asked God to forgive you how do you get to where there's a level of courage that you can own some stuff and get some stuff in the open in the appropriate way with the appropriate people and be forgiven but then be restored to have your soul set free to have the guilt and the depression David sinned sexually and for a year no one knew about it Psalm 32 you might jot it down and some of you will read it and go that's me he said when I was silent about my sin it was oppressive it was like being in a desert literally as you read Psalm 32 here's a man who's clinically depressed when we deny when we shove down when we repress stuff in our soul especially sexual sin it erodes your soul it'll destroy you from the inside out and finally he's confronted and in Psalm 51 you get this picture of a man who experiences the gentle intimacy grace of God. Chip will join us here in studio with his application in just a minute you've been listening to the first part of his message no more shame which is from the second volume of his Jesus unfiltered series titled follow when Jesus called his disciples he used two simple words follow me and that phrase has since changed the lives of countless people throughout history so what does it look like to follow Jesus today in the second volume of chip series Jesus unfiltered we're continuing our study of the Gospel of John in chapters six through ten Chip dives into topics like living without shame understanding the miraculous and finding true contentment and how those subjects relate to the practice of following Jesus you're not going to want to miss a single program for complete information about our resources or to check out the other volumes of our Jesus unfiltered series visit Living on the Edge dot org app listeners tap special offers I'll be right back in just a minute to talk about today's teaching but as we study the Apostle John's teaching here through the gospel I can in in the back of my mind hear some of you saying you know Chip this all sounds really wonderful but you don't know me you don't know what I've done you don't know what I've been boy if you ever understood the terrible things in other words Jesus could never associate with someone like me he could never really love me never forgive me and I want you to know listen carefully that is a lie from the pit of hell the fact of the matter is is no one is beyond the reach of Jesus love but but if you believe that lie it'll keep you stuck if you believe that lie you'll never come to receive his grace or as a follower if you believe that lie you'll think you're a second-class citizen the rest of your life and never experience his joy and his power or be used by him here's what I want you to know the only way to break lies is with truth and so what we've developed is what we call truth cards let me give you an example for those who feel like you don't measure up you're unworthy the lie is this God could never accept me or use my life after all the terrible things I've done it says it right on the card and right below the card is a little stop sign stop and then you turn over the card and the card says Jesus wants to accept and use me he forgave a woman who had five husbands and was currently living with a man so he could communicate his love through her to a whole city actually that passage goes on to say he is seeking or pursuing those who would worship him in spirit and in truth if you want to be free of your past trying hard doesn't work the truth does let me encourage you get a copy of these truth cards we'll give you all the information in fact get two or three copies they're very inexpensive and go through it with some friends or family and here's what you experience you'll experience the truth and the truth will set you free thanks chip well to order these truth cards go to Living on the Edge org or call us at triple eight three three three six zero zero three there are 21 cards in this set each with a common lie or spiritual battle we all face on one side and a scripture passage from the gospel of john on the other our prayer is that you will use these cards to renew your mind with the truth of god's word let me encourage you to get a set for yourself and then maybe another one or two for those in your life again to order your truth cards call triple eight three three three six zero zero three or go to Living on the Edge org that's triple eight three three three six zero zero three or go to Living on the Edge dot o-r-g app listeners tap special offers as we close today's program we certainly hit on a big issue in our day didn't we what i want you to know is that sexual sin is serious with god i don't believe we believe that in the church anymore we know that about half of the people between 18 to 30 are sexually active and simultaneously say you know i'm a follower of christ i love him i read my bible i come to church and it's almost like you know i know the bible says that but i just don't buy that anymore and so i want to say would you really reconsider god's standard instead of your own because if you step off a building that's nine stories high and don't believe in gravity the consequences are about the same and my heart breaks when i see the pain of sexuality the pain of pornography the the pain of all kind of sexual relationships that are other than god some of you just don't believe there's any hope i want you to know the god of the universe saying to you and me that regardless of what we've done he wants us to forgive and to cleanse there's no condemnation but this woman did what every one of us have to do she owned her stuff and he healed and forgave her lord i pray right now for those that are caught in the trap of sexual sin and whether it's on the screen with the person whether it's heterosexual homosexual lord you so love us will you free them will you convict and then will you give encouragement and strength to take the first step toward truth just before we close would you pray for those who are responding to chip's encouragement today there's always a spiritual battle when we feel prompted to draw near and obey god thanks for taking a minute to do that and if there's a way we can pray for you let us know call us at 888-333-6003 or email chip at livingontheedge.org we'd love to hear from you well for everyone here this is Dave Drewy saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.