When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?
I mean, do you like you? For many of us, looking at who we are is a painful experience, but it doesn't have to be that way. Today, my wife Teresa will share a part of her journey as she learned to see herself the way God sees her, and the healing that came through that journey.
You don't want to miss it. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Druey, and Chip's our Bible teacher for this international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians. Well, in just a minute, we'll pick up where we left off last time in our series, Precious in His Sight, taught by our guest teacher, Teresa Ingram. Knowing this program, she'll continue sharing some biblical principles about self-worth and inner beauty that are life-changing for both women and men. And if you're looking for more practical guidance on this topic, stick around after today's message for some additional thoughts from both Chip and Teresa.
Well, with that, here's the second half of Teresa's talk, Mirror Mirror on the Wall. Well, the second truth is that my value as a person, my innate worth, is not determined by my physical appearance. It's not determined by my outward appearance. True lasting beauty is that which flows from a heart filled with God. Now, there may be many things about our bodies that we wish were different, that we would like to change, but the unique person that we are is a treasured masterpiece to God, and we are valuable because of that, of that alone, and not because of what our outward appearance might be. Many of us base our worth on faulty foundations, on faulty beliefs that what we look like determines who we are and whether we'll be happy and whether we'll be successful in life by what we look like on the outside. And we think that if we wear the right clothes and if we're the right weight, whatever that is, and if we have the right hairstyle or the right color, then that makes us okay.
You see, we think those things make us somebody, makes us a valuable person, and those things may help us feel better for a while about ourselves, and they may make us feel beautiful, and that's okay. But God says, God says that true beauty is not that which comes from our outward appearance, but that true lasting beauty comes from the inside, the true person inside, that it flows from a heart that's filled up with God. In 1 Samuel 16, King Saul had fallen into sin, and God took the throne away from him, and the Lord came to Samuel, the prophet Samuel, and he said to Samuel, You have mourned long enough for Saul, for I've rejected him as king of Israel. And he told him to take a vial of olive oil and go to Bethlehem and find a man named Jesse, and he said, Jesse has a lot of sons, and he said, I've chosen one of Jesse's sons to be the next king of Israel. And so Samuel does what the Lord tells him, and he goes and finds Jesse, and Jesse has I think about seven of his sons there that come in, and the first one that walks in, Samuel took one look at him. His name was Eliab, and he thought, truly, this is the one, this is the one the Lord has chosen to be king. Now, we need to know that King Saul had been a very handsome man. He was a very impressive looking man, and Samuel probably thought that the person that God would choose as the next king to take Saul's place would look a lot like Saul. He probably thought that he would have this impressive looking appearance. And so as soon as he saw Jesse's first son, he said, that's the one.
I think that's the one. But let's listen to what the Lord said. He spoke to Samuel, and he said, don't judge by a man's face or height, for this is not the one.
I don't make decisions the way you do. Men judge by outward appearance, but I look at a man's thoughts and intentions. You see, man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
Why? Why does he do that? It was because our outward appearance doesn't really reveal who we are inside, and it doesn't really reveal what our true value is. You see, God sees our character. He sees our character.
He sees what kind of person that we are on the inside. Have you ever met someone who initially their appearance wasn't very attractive to you at all? And after you got to know that person and you learned about the kind of person they were inside, that they became more and more beautiful to you until you didn't even see those flaws anymore? And after a while, if you remembered that you thought that way, you wondered, why did you ever think that way in the first place? Because, see, we initially do look at a person's outward appearance.
That's just our natural tendency. But God says the true value, the true beauty is that which comes from inside the person, in the heart. In Proverbs 31, 30, it says, Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord, she is to be praised.
A woman who fears the Lord. You see, outward beauty is fleeting. It doesn't last. If we live long enough, it won't last.
We know that. Those of us that are getting older, we know that it won't last. And it can be marred by an accident. It can be marred by disease. We can't count on it.
We can't count on it always being there. Years ago, I had just a wonderful friend. She was an older lady. When I met her, I was a brand new Christian. She was about 60 years old, and I was mid-20s. And we became very, very good friends.
In fact, the Lord gave me the privilege of leading her to Christ. And we were very close. We both were alone, and we became very close friends. And then I married Chip, and we moved away from West Virginia.
We moved to Texas. But every year I would go back and visit Edith, my friend. And one time she had a really, really bad stroke, and she was placed in a nursing home.
And so I still, every year when I got to go back home, I would go visit Edith in the nursing home. And then one year I went, and I couldn't find her. And I went in the cafeteria where the nurse told me that she was, and there were a handful of people in there, but I couldn't find Edith.
And I looked, and I looked, and then the nurse showed me who she was. I didn't recognize my friend. She didn't look like the person that I knew. But it was her, and what I realized then is that our physical body sometimes is no longer able to reflect the true person that we are.
Sometimes that happens. But you know, Edith hadn't changed. Inside, she was the same person that I knew and that I loved. God was still at work in her life, in her heart, but her outward appearance did not reflect who she was. And those nurses didn't know the Edith I knew, because her outward appearance never was able to reflect to them who she was inside. But see, I knew. I knew who she was. I knew the wonderful person that she was. And God also says to us in 2 Corinthians 4.16, Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.
And you see, that's what happened to my friend. The true you, who you are inside, the most beautiful you, is being renewed every day, no matter what your outward appearance is. If you belong to Christ, it's getting better and better every day. Even as we age, even as our bodies wrinkle up, and we can't think very well anymore, and we forget everything, and even though all those things are happening, you see, God is still at work in our lives, in the true person that we are inside, and we're being renewed day by day.
It's getting better inside. We now live in a temporary body, the Scripture tells us, but we will be given a spiritual body that will last forever, that will last forever, in 2 Corinthians 5. Paul describes our bodies as an earthly tent, and he says, For we know that if the earthly tent, which is our house, is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven. You see, he says this body, this fleshly body that we're wearing right now, it's like a tent. It's like a temporary house, and it's not going to last. But he says someday when we die and we go to heaven, she will have a new body, and that body is a heavenly body, and it's like a building.
It's not like a tent anymore. It's like a building that will last forever. But while we live yet today in the tents that we have, not in our buildings yet, we need to be filled with the strength and the power of Christ who is dwelling inside, you see, our mortal bodies, which will one day stop working.
We know that. But who we are, the person, the true self that lives inside each of us, in this earthly tent, it's being renewed every day, every day, by the very life of Christ who lives within us, and that doesn't change, and that will not deteriorate. God says we'll have a resurrected body. In 1 Corinthians 15, 42 to 44, he says it is sown a perishable body, this body that we're in right now, our tent. It's raised an imperishable body. It's sown in dishonor. It's raised in glory. It's sown in weakness, but it's raised in power. It's sown a natural body.
It's raised a spiritual body. We have a lot to look forward to. And our new body won't have any flaws. When we look in the mirror in heaven, we're not going to see any flaws, and we're not going to see anything that needs changed or fixed or removed. It's going to be perfect in every way, and that body will not deteriorate. But until that day comes, this is what we have right there.
And all of our tents look different, don't they? We need to care for our body. We need to care for the body that God's given us and allow Him to use them in whatever shape or form they are, however you come, to glorify Him. He tells us in 1 Corinthians 6, 19 and 20, He says that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit for those who have invited Christ into their lives as their Savior, that God will come in and He will dwell within our tents, within our mortal bodies, and He'll live there, and that now we're not our own anymore, but we have been bought with the price of Christ's death on the cross.
And He said, therefore, because of that, we should glorify God with the bodies that He's given us. In the Old Testament, the tabernacle is described in quite detail, and it's where God would come. It's where He would come and dwell among His people. And God gave the Israelites very detailed and very elaborate instructions about how to care for the tabernacle, about how it was to be constructed and how they were to use it. And it was to be constructed with their best material, their most valuable material, and they were to take care of it because it was to be the dwelling place of God.
It was to be the place where, in the midst of the camp of all these people, that God would come and dwell within their midst. But what He says to us now, He says that you don't need a tabernacle anymore. He says you are His temple, and He comes and dwells within you because you're that precious to Him, and He would come and dwell within you, and He'll never leave you. And so it's important that we cherish our bodies and care for our physical bodies because we're caring for God's temple. Do you ever think about that, that He's chosen to live inside us and for us to reflect Him to the world? So do you think much about your body as God's temple and how that it is important to God that you take care of your body? We need to think about that from time to time and ask, how am I caring for God's temple?
Because that's who I am. Well, we can adorn our bodies. We can adorn them with nice clothes and jewelry and makeup.
We can do all those things, and I'm glad we have all those things. But what is precious to God, He says, is the hidden person of the heart. That's what's precious to God. In 1 Peter 3, verses 3 and 4, it says, And let not your adornment be merely external, braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry and putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. Now, the first part of that verse says, Let not your adornment be merely external, braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry and putting on dresses. Now, what the writer here is not saying is that it's wrong to wear jewelry or to wear nice clothes or to fix our hair or to wear makeup.
He's not saying that it's wrong to do that. All of that is a part of the culture that we live in. It's a part of where we live, and we need to dress appropriately within the culture that God has placed us. Now, we need to also think about that within our culture to ask ourselves, Does the way I'm dressed draw undue attention to me? We don't want to dress in such a way that would somehow draw people away from Christ. Or, Am I dressed in a way, maybe, that would reflect Christ who lives in me?
And another question, Could the way I'm dressed create problems for the opposite sex, for men, in the area of lust? So we do need to think about how we're presenting ourselves. We need to think about the kind of clothes we're wearing and how we're presenting our bodies, even though God says it's okay.
It's okay to dress appropriately within the culture that you live. The second part of that verse says, But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. You see, this woman's beauty here does not come, it says, from her outward adornment. But God says it's from her inner self, it's from her heart, the unfading beauty, it says, of a gentle and quiet spirit. You see, and what this means is that she has a submissive spirit to God and to her husband, that she lives a life of purity, that her hope is found in God. And God says that this kind of person, this is what is beautiful to me. He says this is what is precious in my sight. And it's okay, as we've said, to adorn our bodies in an appropriate way that would enhance our outward appearance.
That's a good thing to do. But Christian women should not think that their outer attire is a source of genuine beauty, because it's not. Because genuine beauty, God says, flows from the hidden person of the heart. And I think we have the freedom to enjoy our culture and all that it has to offer. I think we have the freedom to do that and whatever it has to offer to enhance our outward appearance. But we must not get trapped into the false belief that our appearance, that the kind of clothes we wear, how we fix our hair, whether we wear makeup or not, what size we wear, we must not get that confused with thinking that that gives us value and that that makes us somebody that that gives us worth as a person, because it doesn't.
Because you know what? Those things constantly change. They change all the time. I remember when I was in elementary school, all the little girls had curly hair. And I just so wanted to have curly hair. My hair was always straight.
And my mother would put a permanent in it from time to time, but those things didn't work very well either. And I was always rolling my hair and trying to be like the other little girls, because I thought that was great. That really made me fit in. And what was so interesting to me as I look back now is when I was, it was about, I think, a senior in high school. The hippie movement just got to West Virginia.
Things get there late. But all those girls, all those friends of mine that I was trying to be like and have curly hair started ironing their hair because they wanted it to be straight. And I thought, this is really great. I finally fit.
I finally was in style. And I've kept the same hairstyle ever since and been in and out of style ever since, but I realize it doesn't really matter. So we need just to realize that those kinds of things are constantly changing, and that's not what gives us value. That's not what gives us real worth and significance as a person. My value as a person has already been determined because of my relationship to Christ, and there's nothing or no one that can ever, ever take that value away from you.
Nothing. So we have a choice to make. We can either look at the reflection of ourselves in the distorted mirrors that the world provides that tell us that we don't measure up, or we can choose. We can choose to look at the reflection of ourselves in the mirror of God's Word. And His Word says to me that my physical appearance in my unchangeable aspects is beautiful in His sight because He is my designer and maker. And secondly, that my value, my innate worth and significance is not determined by my outward appearance. And I'd like to just encourage you to use the application that I put at the end of your notes that when you look in the mirror in the morning or when you go to bed tonight and when you comb your hair or you put on your makeup or whatever you do in front of the mirror, that take time, take time tonight or in the morning just to look at yourself and thank God for the way He made you. Thank Him for the things that you like about yourself, and thank Him for the things that you don't like.
And then ask Him, ask Him for wisdom to be able to change the things you can and to be content with the things that you can't change. But I really encourage you to do that tonight. I read a story that a lady named Alison Harms wrote about herself when she was nine years old, and I so identified with it that I wanted to close with it tonight. It's called The Beauty Contest. And she says, I won a beauty contest when I was in third grade.
I didn't expect to. At nine years old, I already knew that my face was too full, that my eyes were set too closely together, that the angles of my chin and nose were too sharp. Besides, I wore glasses and my teeth were crooked. My body could not be called a figure except in geometric terms. I was a flat rectangle with a building block build. In addition to all my physical drawbacks, my older sister had informed me that I had the personality of overcooked cauliflower.
Do we all have a sister like that or a brother? On the day of the contest, all these negative appraisals compounded my fears as I stood to be judged against the whole civilization of more beautiful girls. They had all arrived at school giggling in new dresses, shiny black patent leather shoes, curls, ribbons, even lipstick. I'm sure my dress was fine too and that my mother had done her best with my belligerently straight hair.
I'd worn those pink sponge rollers overnight, so at least my hair was doing something under my droopy ribbon. Still, I felt like I was facing a firing squad as the other classes filed in to watch the spectacle, laughing and pointing. When the teacher began to list the names of the contestants, I concentrated on trying to make time fast forward so that I could avoid this moment.
I imagined being home curled up in my reading chair with my book and my cat, drinking cocoa and eating warm cinnamon toast. Another part of my mind was already comforting my soon-to-be-rejected self. This doesn't matter, I told myself.
The judges aren't fair. They're just going to pick the teacher's pet. A sudden hush interrupted all the pictures and voices in my head. Then my teacher's voice, my name, and loud cheers and clapping from the crowd. A small rough ceramic disk was placed in my hand. As I translated the words scratched into its surface, that hard red clay became a treasure in my hand.
I read, Alison, most brilliant. When I raised my eyes, I saw that all the other girls held a disk, too. Still giggling nervously, they began passing around their awards. Through relief-filled eyes, I read some of their happiness. Each disk was inscribed with the unique message of self-worth, which had been designed even before the contest had begun. There had never really been a contest, and that was the whole point. It must have been some creative teacher's idea to counteract that destructive third-grade project of comparing ourselves to each other, to demonstrate in three dimensions that each person has beauty, gifts, abilities, that there is a beauty deeper than the surface and beauty in our differences, not in the fact that we fit into some uniform standard.
I don't pretend that I learned that lesson once for all that day, but it was an ordeal-turned-episode to build on. And today, when I rediscovered a small ceramic disk under some papers at the back of a drawer, I felt my face shine with the happy surprise of finding myself valued. I silently thanked the teacher whose name I have forgotten, and I smiled at the memory of an awkward nine-year-old who looked into the mirror that teacher held up for her and saw herself as beautiful. You are beautiful in God's eyes. Let's pray. Father, we thank You so much that You created us just the way You wanted us to be, and that we all look different, we're all uniquely made, but that's the way You've chosen us to be, and You use us, and You want to reflect Yourself through the unique bodies that You've given to each one of us. Help us to be thankful for what You've given us, for how You've made us, and give us wisdom, Lord, in how to care for our bodies in the best way that would honor You. Thank You, Lord, that we're beautiful in Your sight. In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Teresa Ingram has been our guest teacher for this program, which is from her series, Precious in His Sight. Teresa and Chip will be back in studio shortly to share some application to what we heard today. Teresa's messages really get to the heart of an issue that both men and women wrestle with, identity. You know, many of us define ourselves by our work, our looks, our wealth, or our accomplishments.
But the thing is, those ideas never quite satisfy, do they? Well, in this series, Teresa reveals the freedom that comes with knowing we are children of God, and that He values and loves us just the way we are. Discover how you can live in that truth every day and experience true wholeness and satisfaction.
Now, if you missed any part of this series, Precious in His Sight, or want to learn more about our helpful resources, the Chip Ingram app is a great way to get plugged in. Chip, you know, we're living in a society that is constantly chipping away at our self-worth and value. Whether it's parents comparing their life to others, or teens changing who they are to fit in and be more popular or beautiful, how can we combat these unrealistic expectations and really see ourselves the way God sees us?
Well, Dave, I'll tell you. I mean, listening to Teresa's messages and some of the research that I've been doing, the pressure on our young people, especially girls, is unlike anything I've ever seen. And we've all, you know, I mean, this isn't just young girls or women. We've all looked into that mirror and said, I'll never be good enough.
I just don't measure up. And so, you know, my joy is I've had the front row seat of watching a woman, as she's very honestly shared, who on the outside looked beautiful and just thought she was so ugly, so unwanted. And I've watched like a flower bloom before me, but it took lots of work, lots of renewing her mind. And we just had so many women say, please tell us your story. And so we made the affirmation cards, and those went out like hotcakes. And then it was like, could you put this in a book? And if people knew the agony for her to do this, but I will tell you, if you're a woman and you want to see yourself the way God sees you and have someone that really, really understands you, get Teresa's brand new book, Precious in His Sight, and then get those cards to renew your mind the way that she has for so many years. And what I can tell you for sure is that as you do that, you will begin to see changes in your thinking, then your emotions, your self-esteem, and it's a journey that you really need to be on. And we're thrilled to provide those resources.
Thanks, Chip. Well, I can't encourage you enough to get Teresa's new book and a set of her affirmation cards that we've bundled together just for this series. And if you haven't thought of it already, these resources would make great Mother's Day gifts for any of the women in your life. So be sure to place your order by April 29th to receive this bundle in time. For all the details, go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003 or livingontheedge.org.
App listeners, tap Special Offers. Well, now here's Chip and Teresa with today's application. Teresa, thanks so much for coming back in studio and sharing your story. As you said in this program, maintaining one's physical appearance is such a huge struggle for women. So what would you say to them, or even to men who love them, about ways to change that mentality? What are maybe some baby steps to help them see themselves the way God sees them?
Well, it is taking baby steps. I've learned that a lot in my life that sometimes when we need to have a change that it's taking one little step at a time and then you look back a few years or maybe even months later and you see what God has done. I grew up thinking that I was the ugly duckling, which I wasn't, but my parents never complimented me at all on how I looked, on how I dressed. They never told me I was pretty.
They never told me they were proud of me. So when you don't hear that, you look in the mirror and you start making up all kinds of things because you see all your flaws. And then when I got into my early 20s, I realized that I wasn't an ugly duckling at all, that I was a very pretty woman. But I wasn't a believer, and I got caught up in how I looked and trying to find my value in my appearance and what I wore and how my hair was and all of those things. And I found out that because of how I looked, men were really attracted to me, and it made me feel good about myself.
It made me feel important. But then I realized later that the emptiness is still there. In Proverbs 31, this verse has always really meant a lot to me. It says, Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. Beauty lasts for a while, but we all grow old and our bodies change, so it's fleeting.
This beauty, the worldly beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. And I learned over a course of time that God sees beauty in a totally different way. And He sees us all as beautiful because we're made in His image. And that true beauty that we have comes from inside, from within us. A woman who fears the Lord is one that just exudes love and faithfulness, humility, and walking in faith.
And she has peace in her heart about who God made her to be. And so I just encourage all of you as an application to be in the Scriptures, to hide God's Word in your heart, and then to be thankful for how He made you. And I've realized, too, that being grateful really changes my perspective and changes my attitude.
And so I would encourage you to do those two things, to take baby steps. Well, thanks, Chip and Teresa. Well, as we wrap up this program, just a quick but important thought. Living on the Edge depends on listeners just like you to help us continue to encourage Christians to live like Christians. So would you consider partnering with us on a monthly basis so others can benefit from the ministry of Living on the Edge? To set up a recurring donation, call us at 888-333-6003 or go to LivingOnTheEdge.org. App listeners, tap Donate. And thanks in advance for doing whatever God leads you to do. We'll join us again next time. Until then, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.
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