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November 10, 2021 5:00 am
There are few things in all the work put more pressure on your marriage then debt the feeling of credit cards, unpaid house payments.
Things that you think, how will we ever get out from under the student loan. There are so any pressures that come with owning other people money so when you do, how do you get peace when you're overwhelmed that that's today stay with.
Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with shipping Living on the Edges of international discipleship ministry helping Christian life. First it was program chip wraps up his series keeping level live volume 2 by finishing his talk on marriage and money well before we begin, let me encourage you to use chips message will help you get the most out of what you're about to hear downloadable to the broadcast chat about Living on the Edge started work at listeners just Billing notes later strip with part two of his message titled managing your finances together from Colossians chapter 3 debt is dangerous and to be avoided. I think the best counselors I know say no not wrong to have some debt appreciable items. It's way better not to have any and wouldn't be accurately aware of our financial condition. Now this would be interesting. I will not do this because I would not one embarrassing one, but if I could, if you all lined up and I can meet with couples couples couples couples and then I just okay. Separately, new earphones, those she couldn't hear. He could hear and I would ask the man in general how much debt you have, how much money you have in savings how much is on your credit cards, short-term long-term investments that you have a me just ballpark on the exact numbers but you are aware of.
Basically her finances. What I would find in most couples.
One person would have a vague idea and the other would be like.
He takes care of all that she takes care of all that. Or they would both fumble around a lot and not have the very accurate. The Bible says no well the condition of your flock you need to know this is our level of debt currently right now this is how much we set aside for an emergency.
This is a fund that we developed for were saving for the next car that we can buy because we want to pay cash. This is this is what were doing in terms of long-term investment or retirement in any kind of where your and and by the way your body language can can I I'm talking really fast' the reason you're feeling the way you're feeling is because of the deceitfulness of riches, you realize 50% of all the people graduate from college. I read a statistic file bankruptcy and you get to go to college to give you teachers a credit card but by the time there. There's there's literally we have a whole generation some Christian, some non-Christian they think this is money a memo in my grandkids. We were taken out for something and were having a pizza or something like that. Another 678 910. At the time and we were here in all you want to get some like I said I don't I don't have my wallet and and in and feel in my grandkids. If she's one of those cards and you don't need money. There is no connection between money and a card.
But here's here's okay okay now can be really really gentle if you want to get hold of your life if you want to get hold of your values you want to get hold of your future you have to get a hold of your money and your time in your thought life. If you do not get a hold of your money. It will get a hold of you. And despite your best intentions, it will take you places you do not want to go if you don't get a hold of your potluck life you can attend, you can try. You can want to you can plead, but you are the product of your thoughts. It's how God made us. Your emotions are a response to your thoughts. Much of your behavior instead of being intellectually based whole.
This is logical.
This is what I ought to do is that is that what we do. Like I'm feeling kind of down feeling kind of blue whole. It's really logical. Don't go to the refrigerator so I won't ha ha what we do we eat.
We spend we shop we go we vacation there are only five uses of money. I got this from Ron blue.
You can give it away to pay taxes with it you can save it.
You can pay off debt. We can live off of it and when I say savings coming savings as in short-term emergency fund, which I find most people don't have. But then there's sort of a midrange savings where you know we set aside X amount so that when we get the tax bill. We don't go so in every paycheck a little bit goes into the tax. We have a game plan that are at our age and our stage we wanted to help our grandkids so we set aside somewhere were we started little fun for their college we will we wanted to visit our grandkids and stay connected when they all grown go different places, about 15 years ago we called the kid fun because you know about white egg is not like we have a lot of money to put in these things, but the discipline of creating where you want your money to go creates an intention and so but but the point is, do you plan and do you segment your dollars so that what I knew was at the end of the day what's can be valuable. I want to be connected to my grandkids. I want to have at least every two years. A window of time where those little kids grow up and they remember being on the boat with granddad and grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins and did cost a lot of money. Yeah, but I saved for it for two years. I don't have a ton of money in retirement. But I I've got planned lines out that well 65 is that I have anything in the Bible about retirement. I want to be used by God. I don't. I'm not trying to figure out. I met these guys at their whole life was for maybe by 56 I can retire and play golf now. Personally, I like to play golf but I think pleasure is a great vacation. It's a bad vocation. Pleasure is a is a great tour guide to great tour guide. Let's have some fun. It is a terrible destination can't deliver. Financial freedom requires.
And please don't laugh, spending less than one's income. If you add up all your expenses this month for in the last year are your expenses more than the money came in, and if so, do you understand that the fundamental problem, the government can do that you can't mean I can just say let's print some more money. Unfortunately, we will all end up paying for all that one way or another, and so the lie is that what we need is we need more income so often what's a second job will do this will do this within your priorities get out of whack now. Are there times for second job meant of course, but by and large, your need is not more money your need to adjust your spending to your income and your income needs to to flow out of not water all the things that we think we need, but see you got to go back to. This is who we want to be this is God's call on our life.
This is what's important for our marriage. This is what's important. If you have children or grandchildren.
These are our goals and then okay really give first and foremost because were in a declared money will not be our God, before we do anything else. I'm to make my offering to God. Second is ongoing. Obey the government some to set aside and pay my taxes then I'm to say what do we need you know to live on. But before we do, even if it's small organist set aside some money to save your sent.
If I do all that I not have much left your right so you need to lease a car that's $500 a month. You need cable and Netflix and this and that you need to eat out, seven, eight, nine times a month. That's just what happens now you are thinking that you talk about the completely altered lifestyle called freedom, skull joy, the borrower is always a slave of the lender and you just get into bondage and start small and that mushrooms and saw all all I'm saying is that that's the principle you have to spend less, than what comes in. Often money is not the problem is we talk about is often just the symptom money solves emotional and relational problems, short-term by compensation. While parents buy stuff for their kids because they feel guilty for not spending quality time with them.
We we buy gifts for one another, or we say silly things like you know it's really been a rocky time in our marriage. So let's just go to Hawaii I mean were only $60 in debt was another 10. The logic goes like that there's a way that seems right to a man. Proverbs 1412 there's a way that seems right to a woman, but the end thereof is death and what is common for other people is death for you.
The fact that they do. It is the fact that you're going to see people whose marriages don't work whose kids are entitled whose trajectory of their life is the opposite of what you want, and yet if you did some real hard evaluation at some level or maybe more than you would like, or maybe here in the deep end of the pool and you just realize this.
This money thing is really the thing that's causing the pressure how you solve the money problem has to begin with.
It's our problem that we will solve right, we are going to do this together because once the pressure happens.
What we do it sir or whoever is the spender, especially right it's him. You know, I can't believe he bought new golf club. I can't believe she went shopping and did this problem.
I can't believe but I can't blame, and so you blame either win-win or lose lose second then assessment instead of blaming you will you will need to get print up and say let's sit down and see where were at financially.
We would so we both know this is how much actually comes in. This is how much we pay in taxes. This is how much total that we have in every area.
Long-term short-term credit card. This is how much we give. This is I've done this many times in season marriage for 30 days and you. It's easier on your phone is probably absent.
Do it now for 30 days. Treece and I would say we will read track every dollar we spent for 30 days just to find out its end and spend would just be normal but just track. It's crazy just by tracking if you start spending less, but then you track it and you find okay this is how much on groceries. This is how much I'm going out to eat this much on recreation this much on close this much and all of a sudden what you see is in your mind is we don't have enough money to get by and when you see where it actually goes, you'll go.
Can you believe we spent $142 on Starbucks. I'm just I'm just telling you we we have patterns and and and here, God is not mad, but those patterns right does as there's a destination and I just want to know the destination that a great majority of Christians and maybe a lot of you are on it. It's not where you want to be.
So you sit down and and you'll notice the work she is just, taken what other really smart people and in finance. You know in an honest appraisal and and there's a confession say this restart Lord we are messed up with our money by correction Lord we are messed up with your money.
And since it's your money working to repent and and second, we will have a clear conscience we we we want, not just our words, not just our thoughts, not distractions. We want our money to be a reflection that were living in a way that is pleasing to you. You do you understand God longs to bless you felt this is no prosperity stuff, but he wants to bless you financially. Most Christians are not in a position to be blessed financially. You have high debt and you don't give much and you not very generous. God sees two kinds of people. Dams in streams when he finds a stream that means it comes you get it you know it says and it flows in you.
You enjoy it flows through you and you helped lots of people lots of ways God just keeps you just keep still in streams.
There's others that are dams comes and it's you and you think it's yours and you know that the water goes down because of that and spend some stuff you don't have an apprentice is a lot of pressure on God helping as well. I mean, you do the same thing with it. Actually, I need you to hit bottom.
So you would like, look at each other go.
We can't keep living this way financially. So it's always out of his love and then there's principles here you know about a budget and how to do it and do it together.
In establishing these are all the basic principles of finances, resolving to get out of debt developing a plan and timeframe.
Many of you, just like in other areas you will you needs someone from the outside unit financial counselor. A lot of churches now are doing some really good things with this and then explore creative means to reduce spending and living costs and then to say Lord we we want to obey you. One of the things that we did after we you know found out how much we were spending and all.
Then we developed no budget sound so harsh doesn't it just sounds like budgets. So what we did is when we came up with okay this is where we want to be and this is what we can afford another okay we gave we pay our taxes, we saved at least just a small mostly. The principal probably won't do a lot of good. But we started there we kept growing that we have this much money left than what we did is we said okay groceries literally.
We went to bank, we got cash okay family of six to $320 put that in an envelope says groceries recreation.
We do want to go out little bit want to do this one do that right now $80 for this month that goes another envelope and and we just we had like five envelopes and you'll still see how to do that and when the envelopes were empty guests were not on the Starbucks guess not going out the damn thing out and so we lived on a cash basis and we just can be different amounts but you would be shocked how your debt will come down.
Your freedom will go and that God will allow you to get a hold of your finances and then notice what action step to begin the process and this is one where it's in most couples.
It's either a default we don't think about a lot for its it's really an issue where there's a lot of sparks.
This is one of those. Let's agree, let's not blame anybody we we we done that right. Second, let's not argue. That's no fun either.
Let's let's work through this worksheet together and let's come up with just a plan that we both agree on and what I can tell you I watched this just like spiritual intimacy went when couples get on the same page and finances and the ending can I just warning warning in a caution light you know yellow now thread in about two or three weeks.
One of you won't stick to the budget is probably the spender and and one of you is like really organize follow-through details and the other is a little bit more big picture that's the culprit what's that guy, and an end and you can have an argument and you guess what you'll do, you'll bear with one another will define the problem, you initiate a time to talk. You have a way to solve the problem.
You'll forgive one another. You repent your Starbucks is down to four dollars. Do you get it distances. This is one that doesn't feel like oh wow what a what a wonderful difference it will make. I will tell you this. This will impact almost every area in your children. Man it was so helpless what you mean we can't have that name can't buy that everyone you have so many teachable moments when you begin to live in a way where you are wise stewards of his money and his time of the home that you either own or rent as his steward with the income that you have and she do that venture capitalists they look for who's the right person the right idea. The right concept.
The right need and want to fund and that ultimate venture capitalist in the universe is God. He's looking for someone that would be a good manager has an open heart that would would use the resources that would bring honor and glory to him and he would really like as a byproduct to have you really enjoy it and make you happy and probably provide some things he would never dream but we live in a world where I want the things now for me and I neglect my business partner might venture capitalist. The fund or the provider's casino no matter how much you have, haven't we learned man your small business is thriving. Guess what, you're out of business. I talk with people. I spent 33 years building this company's gone, so what you want is you want a financial partner that will never leave you never forsake you.
And no matter what happens or when you fail you is near to the brokenhearted right back with his managing your finances from his series, keeping the love alive.
In these programs to teachers from the book of Colossians and highlights for important skills, every healthy marriage is in common. Learn how to be better connected spiritually communicate more effectively resolve conflicts peaceably and manage your finances wisely discover what you need to improve your relationship and start making a change or two today for limited time the resources for keeping love alive volume 2 are discounted and MP3s are always free. You'll find everything you email@example.com or give us a call at AAA 333600 free app listeners tap special offers which if there are a lot of voices and resources out there offering advice on marriage a few years back you published a book on the subject to what led you to write marriage that works. What makes this book different from others that are out there. I remember when the publisher was talking to me about writing a book on marriage and I look at it. I said, there's a lot of great books on marriage coming. I mean, I've read a ton of them and from my own personal testimony in the issues that trees and I've had to work through. They been really great. Why in the world do we need another book on marriage and then we begin to talk out loud about what's happening inside and outside the church into the shifting of roles and there's a lot of great skill books and psychological books and practical books, but there's not a lot of this is what the Bible says this is God's design. This is what a covenant is men. This is what it looks like to be a man in your marriage. Women this is what it looks like to be a woman. This is how you all fit together and then filled with very practical ways. Not a sense of odd, since shoulds and try hard.
But this is God's design. This is what the Bible says and this is actually how marriage works. Hey God bless you and I hope you grab that book today thanks to with your wanting to experience a great marriage that lasts. Let me encourage you to order chips helpful book in marriage that works you learn about the biblical model for marriage and what a husband and wife's roles are in this relationship, discover what it really means to be one with your spouse, spiritual, mental, emotional and physical level to order your copy of marriage that works go to LivingontheEdge.org or call us at AAA 333-6003 app listeners tap special offers. As we wrap up the series. I had a great time getting to teach it to those couples at the Billy Graham Center and I got to hear what was going on in their life as they gave me feedback and talked about what were taking steps for spiritual intimacy week we prayed together last night and as someone else told McGinnis something we never even talked about money. My husband just took care of it all. I didn't even know what was going on or my wife took care of it all. We actually sat down and discussed our finances or for others it was, you know, this series was awesome. That little acronym of diffuse about how to resolve conflict in, and that little tool you gave us on communication having a conference have been such a help of moving us closer together gotten practical skills on how to have a marriage that's deeper actually and keeping her love alive and maybe you missed one of the messages were what I'm talking about you thinking well, I'd love to get those notes read like to listen to this. Let me encourage you to go to the website are there on the app and listen to these messages again download the notes and here's the challenge.
Who do you know that needs to hear this series that you could send it to the you could pray for you could say why we get together you could listen to it again and why we take these notes and have discussions with two or three other couples why we get committed not just to hear about a skill but to actually put it in practice. There is nothing that will give you greater joy or sustain your life and the things that matter most than building a strong marriage keeping love alive takes a lot of work, go do it. You be glad you did. As we wrap up this program just a quick but important thought Living on the Edge depends on listeners like you to help us continue programming right here in your area.
Would you consider partnering with us on a monthly basis so people around you can benefit from a ministry of chip and Living on the Edge to set up a recurring donation, call us at AAA 333-6003. Tap the donate button or go to LivingontheEdge.org. Thanks in advance for doing whatever God leads you to do little next time for everyone here. This is Dave Drewry saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge