Keeping Love Alive - Volume 2 - Managing Your Finances Together, Part 1

One of the biggest problems and sources of our biggest arguments in our marriage was about our finances. I mean, we just couldn't get on the same page when it came to money and budget and where it went. Do you have some financial struggles or communication with your mate and want some help? Well, if that's you, stay with us.

That's today. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians live like Christians.

I'm Dave Drouy. We're so grateful you've joined us as Chip nears the end of his new series, Keeping Love Alive, Volume 2. Over the past several programs, Chip's been unpacking four important biblical skills every great marriage has in common. In just a minute, he'll share the last and probably the most universal habit we all need to learn, how to manage money. This is such a relatable topic, so let me encourage you, after today's message, to share it with someone in your life.

You can easily do that through the Chip Ingram app or by downloading and sharing the free MP3s at livingontheedge.org. With that, here's Chip with today's talk. If you'll pull out your notes, skill number four is how to biblically manage your finances together. The number one source of conflict and divorce in America is issues and problems around money, and really, it's the symptom, as we learned. It's different values, different priorities, different styles. Almost every marriage has a spender and a saver, different family backgrounds, your whole view of money, wealth, spending, saving, investing, risk. You grew up in a family, and it's in your thinking, it's in your nerves, and you just have preconceived ideas about those things.

And then some of you, because of circumstance or situations, entered your marriage with debt or challenges, or have had huge hardships that have created financial problems. All I'm saying is all that does is this, it creates incredible pressure, just incredible pressure. And incredible pressure brings things to the surface where, because we're human, we figure out primarily how to blame the other person.

Okay, you still have your passage? We're still in Colossians 3, 12 through 17. So in context here, it says, as those who've been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity, and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called into one body, and be thankful. The very first line says, this is how God sees you, this is who you are.

What I just read after that is this is what we're to do in our relationships. And then notice verse 16 is a resource. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you. How? With all wisdom, that means at the right time, at the right way, sharing it for the right purposes, teaching and admonishing one another.

Well, how? With truth, psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, and then this idea of, regardless of our circumstance, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And then in verse 17, he's going to say, this is how I want you to behave. Whatever you do in word or deed, and just pause for a moment. Can you think of anything that's outside of word or deed?

Thought. That's good. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the father. The command here is that all of our words and all of our actions are be done in Jesus' name. And in Jesus' name simply means two things. It means you do it as a representative of him.

So I'm speaking or I'm behaving or I'm acting as his representative. And it also has the idea of being empowered by him to speak whatever he wants you to speak or to do whatever he wants you to do. The two most accurate mirrors of our heart and our lives are our words and our money. The good man out of the good treasure is heart. Jesus said in Luke six, verse 45 brings forth what is good and the evil man or the evil woman out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil for the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart.

If you ever want to know where you're at, the MRI of your soul. I mean, I can intend, I can think, I can lift my hands, I can sing, I can say I love God, but my words, my words reveal what's really in my heart. And that's why our speech is so important. And so anytime that's true, the other thing is your words, you can go into training so that you deal with issues so that what comes out of your mouth reveals what you want to be in your heart.

The second greatest revealer is our money. Jesus said, do not store up for yourself underline in your notes. If you would, for yourself, treasures on earth were moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. Why, why would he say that?

He doesn't want you to have nice things. You want to keep something from you. What's true about moth, rust and thieves?

They can take it away. In other words, it's vulnerable, but store up now underline again, will you for yourself? This is for your benefit. Treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust can destroy and where thieves do not break in. And then here's the purpose clause.

Why? For where your treasure is there, your heart will be also wherever. If you want to know, I mean, if you really want it to know, Lord, how am I really doing from heaven? All pretense, what anyone else thinks in my own denial in in unit, the deceitfulness of my own heart. If I really wanted to know where am I really at? If I took a tape recorder and listen to my words for a week and then sat down and listen to it, the tone of voice, the anger, the sarcasm, the hurt, the swearing, the thanks, the praise, I would get a really good idea of what's in my heart.

That would be a pretty challenging thing to do. A little bit easier way if you would take all your financial statements, all your credit cards and see where you all your money was spent in the last year or two years or three years or four years, what you saved and why you saved it and where you gave money both formally and informally, it would tell you more about your life than almost anything you can imagine because wherever your treasure is, that's where your heart really is. That's why Jesus talked more about money than heaven and hell combined. He doesn't need or want our money. In fact, I bet I was a pastor for 10 years and I thought life was like this. There's Jesus, right? There's the Godhead and then there's the enemy, Satan.

That's not what the Bible teaches. Jesus says there's two gods. There's God and there's mammon, wealth, greed. Money promises to do everything.

Money promises to protect, provide, make you a someone. Jesus said, this is one God. This is the other God. Satan is just the enemy to get you to believe that that will deliver and the world system is created to tell you your possessions, your power, your fame, what you can buy, what people think that makes you a somebody. So Jesus says money, money isn't neutral. He says it's powerful. It's deceptive. It's not bad in and of itself, but it's the other God. And so if you want to know what's going on in your life or if you want to direct your life, money is a revealer.

And my experience is, you know, I'll own it. The first few years I was a pastor, I didn't talk much about money. A lot of pastors don't talk much about money or if they do, it's about giving, right? Or about a capital campaign or about a building or a bus that we need and what you need to do is you need to study the whole council of God on money. I read through all of Proverbs a number of times and I took a green pen and anytime money in any way came up in Proverbs, I highlighted it in green.

You'll go, are you kidding? Because what you're going to find out, it's so fundamental. Let me give you a very brief overview of biblical finances and I mean, I'm going to go really quick and I'm only going to give this because this is the context in which I'm speaking and it's the context in my experience most Christians don't have. Money is sort of like a side thing over here.

It's a problem to deal with. It's like, you know, we know we need some money or the matter of giving is sort of like, but maybe there's some law and you know, I'm supposed to give 10% and either begrudgingly or semi begrudgingly, it's like paying a bill and I should do that because I was taught to and the whole teaching of generosity in your heart and the purpose and how money fits into the development of your spiritual life in my experience is often missed. So what the Bible teaches and I mean quick overview is that God owns it all. The earth is mine. Psalm 50 and the fullness thereof. Every good and perfect gift. James comes from God. Second, we're stewards, managers and trustees.

Luke 16. You don't own anything. You don't have a car. You don't have a home. You don't have any investments. You don't own anything.

It's 100% him. What do you have? The apostle said, except what you have received. And so my money, my house, my investments, my wife, my children, I'm a steward and a steward or a manager is someone who is entrusted with certain things to make good use of them for their master. That changes your whole world. That, that means, okay, the market goes up or the market goes down.

Lord, you're losing a lot of your money right now. We laugh. People been jumping off of buildings and off of bridges. 2008 anxiety, depression, fear, overwhelmed. The American view of money. We are living the last 50 years, 70 years. We're living in America with a level of affluence that only the greatest Kings in all the world ever experienced historically. And yet in this affluent world, we have more anxiety, more suicides and more problems than I could take you to a multiple third world countries where they have very little and the people are very happy and no one's taking drugs. The most recent research, but now, by the way, when you're in abject poverty or you're really poor, there's financial issues. Does, does money solve all your problems?

No, but it sure helps. And what the secular researchers say is that basically right up to about 75 to $85,000, if you're, if you're below that in the current economy, if you get in about that area and without debt, money really helps. And all the dollars after that is sort of diminishing returns in terms of quality of life. The saddest, most miserable, most problems in families and all my life have been the wealthiest people that I know. And what's so ironic, I sit with them and I talk with them and they talk about, you know, their second or their third marriage or their daughter's suicide or the anxiety and their enablement of their kids. Cause when you're really wealthy, it's hard to say no to your kids. It's hard to set boundaries. It's hard to teach them responsibility. And so really, really the only people that have more messed up kids in all the world, by the way, this was a study done by insurance company is the poorest of the poor of the poor, like living in the ghetto and the ultimate rich.

And what they measured is treatment centers and all the rest. Why? Because money can't solve the problems. In fact, it creates incredible entitlement, lack of responsibility. We'll give an account for our stewardship. God, according to how he's made you and purposes has given us all different talents, different resources. And I'll give an account of what I do with his money, what I do with his time.

I had a card for years that I wrote down. You know, I do, I do this thing a lot with my thinking. I mean, I'm, I really believe as a man thinks in his heart. So he becomes the mindset on the flesh, death, the mindset on the spirit, life and peace. Set your mind on the things above.

I'm absolutely, I mean, I'm like over the top on boy, what comes into my mind. There's a huge filter and what I put into my mind because life change happens not by behavior or emotions or trying hard life change happens. First and foremost, you renew your mind and as you think differently, all of a sudden that's not a temptation cause it doesn't look very good. You think differently and emotionally things change because the news is like poison and the more and more I watch of news and people being blown up and these people hate these people and those people then, then what it does is it creates all kinds of things inside. You know, ask a teenage girl, the more you're on social media, the higher the anxiety, the higher the social suicide rate. And so I keep aware of what's going on, but I could, I'm real careful about what I let in my mind.

And then what I know is that when I struggle with areas, I've got to change my thinking. So I'm coming from my background, giving away money and being generous with did not come naturally. My dad grew up out of the depression. His parents farm was sold out from under him.

That's a picture that he remembers. He took me as a little boy to the bank every single week and I did yards and did things and you put in savings. And so that was embedded in me. And so I had a card that I wrote, Lord, I desire to be more generous with my time and my money this year. And I would just read it over and just read it over, read it over, read it over, read it over. And I just found they were opportunities.

They were probably always there, but I noticed them and I would be a little bit more generous and then a little bit more generous. And then I reviewed that card for like five years and then I was studying and I just realized that's not accurate. That's wrong, Chip.

So I put an X through the card in certain places. God, I desire to be more generous with your money and your time this year. And that's what I just realized is whatever I've got in my pocket, whatever I got in the bank account, whatever kind of car I drive, whatever I have, it's yours and I'm going to give an account for it.

Money is powerful and deceptive. Mark four, you know, the parables of the seed and the sower, right? The seed is God's word.

It goes into the earth. You know, the hard soil, Satan takes it away. The shallow soil, it grows up, but persecution and difficulty fades away.

The thorny soil, it grows up. And then the desires of this word and the deceitfulness of riches choke out God's word. By the way, the deceitfulness of riches. You do understand the word deceit means this.

When you are deceived, you don't know it. And we now live in a Christian worldview where we all have certain issues that we all sin that we've decided let's have a few acceptable sins and we'll give all each other a pass on them. I've been in a number of men's groups where, you know, we all, we all struggle with porn, but you know, let's try and be more porn light. That's really not one of the options. Or, you know, I know it's not very wise, but everyone has a lot of debt and everyone gossips a little bit about people when you meet in those groups and you know, we all struggle with that.

Therefore it must be okay. And we sort of gradually give ourselves permission to have the sacred cow of materialism. Oh, all the other Christians I know, I mean, I mean, they have always get the latest on and the latest TV and the latest that, what do they have the money? No, but they've got these cards and it's pretty cool. You just put them on these cards and you know, you only have to pay like 11 or 22 or $33 each payment and pay, you know, $944 for that $300 TV over five years. But you don't think about, wait a sec, it's God's money. Am I saying it's wrong to use a credit card? No, I have credit cards.

I pay them off every 30 days. But I'm just, I'm just saying there's radical thoughts about money and the subtlety and deception of money is, it takes you down a path. It's like being in water where you go out, if you've ever been at the peach, you know, and you're having fun and you know, you got the sand and if you have a family, you got a couple of kids here and you got the blankets and you're gonna have lunch and stuff and they go out and play and you're playing and then you're playing and you're playing and nothing happened. But the current's doing this and you look up and you realize, my lands, how did we get down? I mean, our, hey, where's mom and dad? Where's, that's what happens to us with regard to money. Money is the other God according to Jesus.

We can't serve both. Matthew six, giving is God's antidote to greed and the dangers of idol worship. We're commanded instruct those who are rich in this present world and biblically, that's all of us, not to be conceited or fix their hope on the uncertainty of money or wealth.

Notice that's the reason because it's uncertain. He wants to protect us, but fix their hope on God who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. In other words, when your priorities are right, when it comes from God, he's gracious and kind and loving so you're not overwhelmed in debt.

You're not compensating by buying things or going places you really can't afford. Your priorities are right and he says, don't fix your hope here on the one hand. So you want to be generous and be wise. And then when he blesses, you don't have to say, well, the reason we have a swimming pool is we're doing baptisms for the youth group. We're, you know, that mission trip, you know, that we're, that we're taking to New Zealand and Hawaii. You know what, if you want to go to Hawaii and the Lord has blessed your life and your priorities in order, here's what you ought to do.

Enjoy it. If God gives you a swimming pool and your, your pride or reason order, and he's led you in that way, and maybe it's especially great for the season of your kids, why don't you enjoy it? But what we do is we play lots of games. God wants us to richly enjoy all that he's given us and at the same time realize that thing, that wealth, that idol wants to take over your soul.

Chip will join us here in studio with his application in just a minute. You've been listening to the first part of his message, managing your finances together from his series, Keeping Love Alive, Volume 2. Are you and your spouse going through a rough patch?

Does it seem like all you do is argue? Do you feel disconnected? If that's where you are, or you know a couple who's struggling, don't miss this series. These messages will help restore your commitment to your spouse and rekindle lost love. Chip shares four key skills that define a great marriage, and these aren't lofty ideas. These are practical ways you can build a lasting relationship with your spouse. Are you ready to get your marriage back on track? For more information about Keeping Love Alive, Volume 2, go to LivingOnTheEdge.org or call us at 888-333-6003.

App listeners, tap special offers. Well, Chip, as we come down to the last few days in the series, I know you've received tons of emails and calls about how this series is helping couples keep the love alive in their marriages. That's got to be gratifying to see how God's using you and the team to have real impact. How does that fit into the broader mission of the ministry?

Sure, Dave. At Living on the Edge, we do three things for three groups for one purpose. One, we teach God's Word to as many people as possible through radio, TV, small group resources, online tools like our app, and in partnerships internationally all around the world. Second, we train Christians to go deeper with teaching resources and small group studies. And three, we develop tools for leaders, for pastors and business leaders to help them impact their worlds and beyond. We do all these things for one purpose, to help Christians live like Christians.

Now, here's my question. If you were impacted today by the ministry of Living on the Edge, would you be willing to partner with us? We can't do this without the support of partners like you. And as you do, we will change lives. We will spread God's truth around the world, and we will help Christians live like Christians.

Here's my question. Would you join us? Thanks, Chip. Well, if Living on the Edge is ministering to you and you've not yet partnered with us financially, would you prayerfully consider doing that today? It takes a team to do what God's called us to do, and we're inviting you to help us help Christians live like Christians.

To send a gift or become a monthly partner, donate online at LivingOnTheEdge.org, tap donate on the app, or give us a call at 888-333-6003. Your partnership is greatly appreciated. Well, Chip, as you talked in this program, you made a statement that kind of struck me. You said, money isn't neutral.

Could you elaborate on what you meant? For years as a pastor, I have to tell you, I thought that it was God against Satan. Jesus didn't teach that.

He says that there's two gods. There's him and there's money. And Satan is evil, and he uses money and multiple other things to try and lure or seduce us away from our relationship with Jesus Christ. Now, money isn't necessarily evil in and of itself, but the desire for to become rich. Money promises security and significance, and that's why it's the other God. And so it's not neutral. It's powerful.

And so that's why it's so critical as a couple to get on the same page. Lesson number one, and this is hard, God owns it all. I am the Lord.

That is my name, right? The earth is mine and the fullness thereof. All things are by me and for me and through me. Money is like time. We are given an X amount of it, and we are managers and stewards. So the question is not what do I do with my money or even my time or my house. It's, Lord, what do you want me to do with the money that you've entrusted to me, with the time entrusted to me, with the resources or house entrusted to me? And so this is why it's so critical as a couple to say, let's study what the Bible says about money. Let's not allow any idols to get into our lives. And you know what?

It's so easy to blame your mate. Well, she does too much shopping. Well, he plays too much golf. Well, all he wants to do is, you know, put money into cars and hobbies and this and that. All she wants to do is fix up the house and ask yourself, how much is coming in?

What is our level of debt? And in our next broadcast, I'm going to walk through, I mean, a nuts and bolts approach to help you get a handle on your money so you can get a handle on your life. You know, an easy way to share Chip's messages is with the Chip Ingram app. With just a couple of taps, any message you choose is on its way to your friend, someone in your family, or on social media to help others who could benefit from the truth of scripture and its encouragement. And don't forget to include a quick note about how it made a difference in your life. We'll be with us again next time when Chip continues his series, Keeping Love Alive, Volume Two. Until then, this is Dave Drouie saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.