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July 19, 2021 6:00 am
Do you wish you had a really great friend. I need someone that you couldn't trust your heart to someone is wisely said in order to find a good friend need to be one and today on Living on the Edge willing to talk about how to build deep, meaningful, authentic relationships that stand the test of time.
You don't want to miss. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge Chip Ingram chips or Bible teacher of this international discipleship program and I in this program should continue sincerely momentum to ignite your faith by dialing in on what it looks like to experience true friendship to know and to be no is a deep longing of every human heart. What has to happen for us to personally enjoy the connection, especially in an increasingly connected culture. That's what chipmunk packs over the next couple programs if you have to miss one. Remember, you can hear these messages any time with Chip Ingram will now with his talk from first Samuel chapter 18 appears to unfortunately in the place where God designed for authentic community occur. People have an amazing experience.
They walk into a room.
They sing some songs they sit down. They listen they get up.
They walk out alone. McCullough church. If you open the notes I'd like to dig in with you and learn from a couple Old Testament characters who model for us what authentic community really looks like and better yet how to experience learning to be just a quick little background Jonathan and David are a great story.
First Samuel 18 opens up and it's the story of David's life and that David will shepherd boy and there's a big battle, and everyone's afraid of the big bad Goliath and he's a giant and in the nation of Israel is paralyzed and in this Windows moment, a story that many of heard this little shepherd boy takes some stones slays the giant becomes a national hero after becoming a national hero. He actually is quite the musician as well Saul, who's the present King actually asked will who's your daddy tells in my dad's name is Jesse and basically Saul says I want you to stay in the palace with me. In other words, this is a neat young man God's hands.
Upon his life. I want you to stick around with me now in chapter 18. Saul has a son named Jonathan and Morgan it it's very cryptic in fact really go through these two men's relationship very quickly but the principles out of that are absolutely amazing and so chapter 18 verses one and two were going to learn about the relationship between Jonathan and David and what you going to see is that in this relationship to be seven essentials of Biblical community. If you and your heart want to get connected. If you want to learn to have deep friendships if you want to go beyond the superficial. I'm telling you, you can look at Jonathan's life and David's life and their connection and what happens and you learn the seven essentials, some very practical ways to really be loved from the heart and to love other people from the heart of the first essential is to be aware God orchestrates circumstances and chemistry and disable where to get that will follow along.
Chapter 18 after David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan the king son. There was an immediate bond or literally, the text says God knit their souls together a lot between them and they became best friends from that day on Saul David with him at the palace and wouldn't let him return home. So he says you know God got his hand on your life. Boy, I want you to stick around.
I mean, and then something happened between Jonathan and David and I think this happens now and then I would say. Be aware, because what we have is literally the shepherd was not like a high-class job and he was the youngest boy of all the sons so David is in the low low rank of social economy of the day and Jonathan is a prince and he's gonna become the next king.
Or so everyone thinks sometimes you miss the greatest people God puts in your life because you have an unconscious filter about the kind of people that you really connect with and the kind of social status they need to have or the color of skin that they need to have for the amount of education that they need to have a lot of unconscious things how pretty or how they dress or where they've been and I think this is very interesting that you need to be aware that God might bring the very best friend you'll ever have. From a different social, economic, ethnic, age, background will blow your mind but you got. Be aware you have the open.
You gotta be able to say you know something God doesn't see as man sees man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord weighs the heart and he may have someone in your relational network right now is not that your own willful prejudice. I never want to be that person's friend, you're like me, all of us are the psychologist call. We've been socialized. We have this unconscious box in our unconscious box. Some people get in and other people don't and we are most accustomed to love people and connect with people like us. David was very, very different than Jonathan in terms of social status. Second thing we find is the intentional. We rarely drift into authentic community.
Be intentional. Look at verse three it says, and Jonathan made a special bowel to be David's friend. By the way, were seeing him be. He's moving downward in a social mobility. He takes the initiative. He's the prints. He's got the money he's got the power he's got the position he gets to call the shots in the palace other than his dad and he makes a special valve that means he makes a vow before God, but what he's doing now is making a vow and he's verbalizing David. I want to be your friend and he sealed the pact by giving him his robe. His tunic, his sword, his bow and his belt. I wish we had about three hours. That phrase right there would make for great sermon.
If we could spend the time and talk about it. What what would it mean for a prince to take his robe his tunic his bow, his sword all the elements that reflect his power. The net net is he saying I am laying aside my power. My prestige in my position and I want you to know that I'm committing to you. I want us to be on even terms, and David, I want to be your friend and he actually verbalizes friendships. You just don't drift into friendships making deep friendships, authentic community has to be a priority. You need to have what I call intentional pursuit and intentional commitment those of the two things that he does. Jonathan pursues David he sees something in his heart to see something in his life.
He sees something about David that says I want to get to know him better. It's not just visa hero and he killed the giant. There was something about David's faith. There was something about David's walk with God.
I think Jonathan it says God knit their hearts together. It wasn't something that they produced or made happen.
God orchestrates circumstances God orchestrates chemistry but we we have to be intentional, you get around people you know you can't just sort of say well I'm glad when this group you know as good as it is to have a small group and lots of needs. The fact the matter is mentoring and deeper relationships need to occur. There's only so much you going to do in a group of eight or 10 or and and it really there's there's maybe one or two people in the group that your heart starts to get connected to, and you need to say to them when we grab coffee this week or I heard that you you run to what I like to run. Can we go for a run. It takes intentional pursuit or it stays fairly shallow. It takes intentional commitment not what I hope your hearing is that means probably get a takes some time away from something else in order to do it and so from Jonathan David. We learn gotta be aware. Gotta be intentional and then have to be honest in what I mean by this is share the last 10%. If we had a little more time. You could see that David go ahead.
Look at verse five.
Whatever Saul asked David to do. He did it successfully. So Saul makes him the commander of his army and the notice. The appointment was applauded by all the fighting men and officers. So he's becoming famous. He goes out the battles and basically his popularity is getting higher and higher than the King.
The king becomes increasingly jealous and so he comes up with multiple ways that he thinks he's going get rid of them. And so even offers you can marry my daughter. But the real game plan is to send them out into harms way to get them killed well.
David keeps disappointing him because he keeps winning and winning and winning. And finally it comes out that there is he wants to assassinate and so we pick up the story in the chapter 19. Now Saul urges his servants and his son Jonathan to assassinate David, but Jonathan because of his close friendship with David told him what his father was planning tomorrow morning. He warned him, you must find a hiding place out in the fields all asked my father to go out there with me and I'll talk to him about you and and then I'll tell you everything that I can find out in the next morning thing Jonathan spoke with his father about David saying many good things about them. Please don't sin against David Jonathan pleaded. He's never done anything to harm you. He's always helped you in any way he could and then you know like father. Have you forgotten about the time that he risked his life to kill the Philistine giant and how the Lord brought a great victory to Israel. As a result, you are certainly happy about it, then why should you murder an innocent man like David. There's no reason for it all and then Saul listen to him and what we find out assault is sort. Saul listens for little while and his jealousy and his fear Saul. Saul is a great study of insecurity.
By the way, desperately insecure people have very difficult times with deep and great relationships because they compare all the time and are threatened, but this is interesting to note great friendships and he goes multiple directions here. You gotta be honest in what we tend to do is were honest with about the first 90%. Now if my dad was the king and I had a really good friend is going to kill. I think I would go with something like, you know, David made a good time for vacation.
You know, really got to get out of town.
You know, here's my private donkey. Here's a few box others, a resort wanted to kinda get outta here right now.
I mean, it took a lot of courage to get 100% honest with his father or he could have said all dead. You gotta be kidding. You know that's not real. He went all what about this dad. What about this. Don't you remember this. Jonathan told the last 10% and confronted his father with the sin and Jonathan had the courage to tell David 100% of the truth and that door needs to swing both ways and what our temptation is this week. We tend to tell people about 90% and then when it gets uncomfortable when it gets right to the point where we could really get rejected. We bail out and I want to say that, in and by the way, it's usually the big white elephant in the room all their friends see the same thing when you find someone who tells you some really really hard truth that hurt your feelings and your initial reaction is you want to reject him and get angry and mad. I want you to know you've probably just met when your very best friends because of its an issue in your life. Almost everybody else sees it. But very, very few people care enough and love you enough to tell you I member the very first time this happened to me.
I got so angry this fell I was in a little discipleship program and I was there all summer and we were having a little evaluation at the end and you know my workaholic tendencies.
It played out. I'd memorized all the verses I did all the stuff they asked me to do. I mean I just thought I mean if there were to rank people in this little summer program. Unlike maybe a nine or 10 enough being as humble as I was. I thought probably just a nine but down deep in my heart I was pretty sure I was a 10 and I'm just serious and this guy named John.
He, you know, he said hey let's go for coffee like to tell you some observations I have about in our time together. Here the summer and you know I mean it was literally well enough, and waited for this moment in a regular and the so he says that made maybe this would help and so he wrote down on the on this card. Galatians 110, Luke 1615 John five from them right. Maybe 30 is ever like you to read these over is a lot I will is and I want to just go ahead and read them before we talk and only the navigators can do stuff like that so okay so I read him for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God's first how can you please God when you're seeking the favor of men. I would not be a bondservant of Christ. Trying to please men chip. I watch you I think your people pleaser in your very arrogant and I don't think God will ever use your life into the address that issue. I wanted to get up Jack the guy right in the job. Probably one of the greatest gifts God ever gave me. Because when the truth was known I was a real people pleaser and very arrogant and I bet lots of people had seen it before, but John was the first person to look me in the eye, tell me the last 10% and gimme some biblical criteria change you want great friends tell him the last 10%.
All it could cost my friendship well yet could or could make forth. We see is be available when crisis comes friends arrive week, we find that the story continues in Saul and David are going through a number of different things and then bite by verse 20. Saul is really out coming. He's got the SWAT team after David and and so in verse chapter 20 verse one it says David now fled from nails in the Ramah and Ramallah and found Jonathan so you know so he's fleeing this tells a lot about the relationship he finds Jonathan and basically he says you know they're trying to kill me. What have I done, he exclaimed.
What is my crime how I attended your father so that is determined to kill me. That's not true. Jonathan protested I'm sure he's not planning any such thing free always tells me everything is going to do even the little things.
I know he wouldn't hide something like this for me, it just isn't so. Then David took an oath before Jonathan and said your father knows perfectly well about our friendship so he is said to himself, I won't tell Jonathan why should I hurt him, but I swear to you that I'm only a step away from death. I swear by the Lord and by your own soul.
And now listen to Jonathan's response. Tell me what I can do. David saying hey man, you don't get it.
He's after. He's trying to kill me. I was dodging spears the other day and I ran for my life.
I mean he's after me and his sons gone might not talk to daddy with his. There's no way he's going to do this.
What happens in your friendships with two different stories come out.
What happens in your friendships when you're thinking well what a second. This is really this doesn't make sense what you do and where you go.
Jonathan's available. Jonathan listens. Jonathan basically says you know what you want me to do. Basically, David's going to say II need you to get on the same page with me and you need to find out whether this is really true what your father trying to do and I mean he is available at there's a great proverb. Proverbs 1717 says a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity crisis often reveals who your true friends are when crisis comes. There's cost when crisis comes their sacrifice. When crisis comes the people that show up and asked this question. What can I do a member is a real intense time in my life, schedule and travel and my dad was very very sick. He didn't have much time to live and I had a friend who love because of his business on the plane that he flew to different places and I'll never forget that.
He said when your dad gets near the end you call me I don't care where you're at. I'll come pick you up and I'll take it you need to see your dad you had a long up-and-down journey with him. You need to see him before he dies. And I'll never forget getting one of those calls and says if you want to see your dad for he dies. You need to get here soon as possible mean he's not the last problem or another 24 or 48 hours and a member sitting down. This is really interesting. Member sitting down thinking what Gary said and then thoughts like I don't put them out mean like how much gas would cost and I mean I know he but I know he but and and I just thought you know he said he wanted to do it. I just can't imagine anybody doing that for me and I just realize you know something I guess I just need to humble myself and receive and I got I just called him, so I was working out downstairs.
I said Gary I just got a call and it took me 10 minutes to work it through and he said get get over the little airport will be 30 minutes, I'll have you there in Durham in couple hours and I got in his flying. 30 minutes later and we flew in the middle of the night, and he and his son and he said he dropped me off in front. This is a come back and get chip he said will will take care of the hotel you'd rent a car, took care of everything and I had a window of a little sure little bit later with my dad because someone we talk about a friend is available for you available so we got convenient friends is learning to experience all that community from a series momentum how to ignite your faith based on Romans 12 momentum flushes out the structure of ship series true spirituality by exploring the lives of some of the most famous men of the Bible from Abraham and Moses to Joseph and Daniel chip helps us appreciate how these guys lived out the practicalities of true spirituality in the process. Triple ignite the momentum of your faith journey. Momentum is one of those series you're going to want to keep handy and listen to from time to time, so let me remind you that accessing momentum is easy with the chipping remap well chip before you get to today's application you wanted to talk for just a second about another real life kind of friendship I'm to be back in just a minute to talk about today's program and how we can apply that to her life. But as I close the teaching time I talked about a very good friend in the test and the quality that friendship was sacrifice. I mean, he took out time it cost him money.
I don't know what it cost to fly a jet but I ain't cheap, and here's what I know, real friends pay a price for one another because they care. And today I want to thank God for the real friends of Living on the Edge.
The real friends who many of you monthly and others quarterly have given generously of your time, your intercessory prayers and generously through your finances. We are here today putting resources in people's hands here and all around the world because of real real friends. Thank you for actually paying a price. Thanks for being sacrificial and I want you know God is using it in very significant ways. We really appreciate you. Thank you for being my friend.
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You can make a donation or even a regular monthly commitment by going online to LivingontheEdge.org or you can call us at 8883336003. Thank you again for your prayers and financial support. We deeply appreciated without. Here's chip with his application. As we close today's program. I would remind you that I told a story about a friend who really came through for me and he was a friend because he was available. It wasn't convenient fact was very expensive and he did something for me that was priceless and so let me just ask you talking about biblical community and friendship. Do you have a friend like that, and maybe another question is are you someone else's friend who would call you and say I really need your help and they just know that you would come through and if your mind is a little foggy and some names are popping into it right away. Let me encourage you. Are you available or are you so busy that all the relationships are superficial. Well if if that's true then you we learned real friendships require intentionality, you don't drift into it. So who are the people just in your mind's eye right now. Who are some people that you want to go deeper with and so this week you text them you call them you email me say let's get together and you take the next step toward intentionality or or maybe it's a decent relationship and it's pretty good but it's not this face-to-face heart-to-heart Jonathan and David, maybe you need to tell them the last 10% maybe need have a little more courage and and the roadblock is is that you gotta get more real and you need to be more honest with them and then finally maybe somebody are saying you know what I was you had even any of those I don't have any friends maybe need to become aware and ask God to open your eyes.
He's orchestrating circumstances and maybe there's a friend that looks different or has a big need for comes from a different ethnic background or works in you know a different part of where you work or doesn't have the same hobbies, and God has prepared for you. The way he did for Jonathan and David unusual circumstances to knit your heart together. Go be a great friend to someone and see if God doesn't give you one in return at Living on the Edge we want you to know about an easy way to listen to our extended teaching podcast your trip any time on Amazon's Alexa echo and echo.just say Alexa open Living on the Edge and you'll hear that these extended teaching any time you want well for Chip and everyone here. This is the same.
Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge