Love One Another - How to Develop Authentic Relationships, Part 2

Are you tired of all the facades, all the superficiality, plasty Christianity? Do you wish you could sit down across the table from a real live Christian and really get connected from the heart?

Really give love and get love, but you just don't know how to do it? Well, stay with us. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Druey, and we're in Chip's series called Love One Another. As we get started, I wonder if you know anyone who'd say, you know, what I'm really looking for are inauthentic relationships. On this program, Chip helps us get a handle on what it takes to have genuine relationships that stand the test of time.

So let's join him for part two of his message, How to Develop Authentic Relationships, from Romans chapter 12. You know where most problems come in churches? People are sitting on the bench.

People are sitting on the stands. People who have, unconsciously, a consumer mentality. Feed me. You don't have this for my children? Oh, you've changed ours? Oh, this is going to happen? Well, how come we don't have donuts with the coffee?

It would be nice if we had name tags. You know, it would really be wonderful if we could, you know, it was a little too hot that last weekend. You know, that one song was a little too loud, but then next week it was a little too soft. You know, been there, huh? That happens in churches all the time. You know why? They don't got the agenda. And that was coaching talk.

They don't got on purpose. Third, the church is a supernatural, not only because it has a supernatural origin, not just because it has a supernatural agenda, but third, it has a supernatural power. Did you see that in verse 8? Wait for the gift and then you will receive power. Power. If you're a believer, you know what, you know who lives inside of you? The Holy Spirit.

You know what Romans 8 tells us? The same power that raised Christ, literally from the dead, dwells in you and dwells in me. The power, what? To overcome sin's power in your life. The power to love people you don't even like. The power to reach out when you're tired. The power to align priorities in a way that seems so difficult. The power to trust Him through difficult times. The power to endure when you feel like giving up.

The power to be bold and courageous and identify with Christ when you know everyone in the office is going to look down on you afterwards. You know what the human equivalent is? Gangs. If you go into prison, you know what the likelihood of you being in a gang is?

High, high, and higher. You know why? If you go into prison in this day and you're not in a gang, you may be dead soon. Why?

Because you're one frail person who's vulnerable. So what do they do? You join a gang and what's a gang do? You're in the Blood or you're in the Crips or you're in the Aryan Brotherhood or you're in the Black Muslim group. I mean, they're all kind of gangs in prisons. And you either join one of them or you're a pawn. See, community offers bonding through teams.

Community brings about loyalty through the concept of having power. I mean, on a lighter note, a lot of you are members of Costco, aren't you? That's a gang. We call it a club.

We're the Costco gang, right? Why do that? Why don't you just go and buy someplace else? Because there is power in buying in bulk.

Isn't there? And there's power in membership. The human institutions that provide community are precious to us. There's probably nothing more important than your family, some sense of team, and some sense of club somewhere.

Those are the human institutions where you're giving and receiving, where there's been power, where there's loyalty, where there's commitment. Here's what I want you to hear. It's just human. You, if you're a believer, are a member of a super natural community with a super natural origin, with a super natural agenda, and you possess super natural power.

If you get that from your head to your heart, you'll never think about Christians the same way ever again, ever, ever, ever. We're in the same family. We have the same agenda. We have the same power. You are members. Notice the passage doesn't say you ought to be. You are members of one another.

You belong. Now here's the final thought. That's the doctrine.

That's the truth. But we would all admit, right, we would all admit that we're not experiencing super natural community in our relationships like most of us would like. Now we're tasting it, I pray, and the closer you are to that core, the deeper you're probably experiencing it. But I want to give you now from Romans chapter 3 verses 3 to 5, I want you to know what makes it authentic. How do you get in the body of Christ so you experience community that's not just human community?

I mean, it's one thing to say, yeah, yeah, we came back in the ninth inning in our softball team and we all went out for beers afterwards, and boy, isn't it great to be a part of a group? That has some merit. Not a lot. Three things you need. First, you can experience authentic community.

How? When we possess an accurate view of ourselves, it begins with you, begins with me. Romans 12, 3 says this, for by the grace given to me, the apostle Paul writes, inspired by the Holy Spirit, I say to every one of you, do not think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but rather think of yourself with a sober or sound judgment. The word literally means don't think of yourself insanely, off balance, irrationally.

But think of yourself literally accurately as the idea in accordance with the measure of faith that God has given you. In a word, if you want to experience this kind of community that's supernatural, it begins with humility. Humility is not thinking highly of yourself. Humility is not thinking lowly of yourself. Humility is an accurate view of yourself. It's a genuine recognition of these are my strengths, these are my gifts, this is what I bring to the table, this is my background, this is my personality, this is who I am, my strengths, and a genuine recognition, and these are my limitations. See, it's not genuinely humble to be in a group and be able to see clearly what the group needs. Know that you're the best at whatever the group needs, and to put your hands in your pockets, oh gosh, you know, I might be willing, I'm not really good at it, but I'd try.

You know what that is? That's arrogance. That's false humility. If you know you're the best, then you say, you know something?

I don't know how this will work exactly, but I've got some background and experience. I'd like to serve the group by taking this on. And humility is, and these are my limitations. I can't do that.

I'm not good at that. In fact, recognizing your limitations means that you are willing to be vulnerable, and by the way, that's where real community starts. See, arrogance, pride, is projecting image that we've got it together. Those little holographs that I call them where we project what we think other people will like, and if they like it, then we say, oh great, except down deep it doesn't help, does it, because they didn't really touch us. Or if they don't like it, we say, well great, because that's not who I really am. So you never get deeply affirmed, don't get deeply rejected, but you don't get deeply anything.

See, genuine community starts with being open and vulnerable and saying, you know what, this is what I bring to the table. I got pluses and I got minuses, just like everyone else. I'm insecure, just like everyone else. I have some baggage, just like everyone else. I do some things really well, just like everyone else. And when you can be open and vulnerable, then you allow people into your life to know the real you, and when people affirm the real you, what happens?

Bang, connection. We call it getting loved. And when you reach inside and affirm the real person, boy oh boy, they get loved.

When's the last time you really let someone inside your life? If you want community, that's what it takes. Secondly, authentic community happens when we nurture a healthy appreciation of others. Verse four and five, just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we who are many form one body. If you want a great little study, draw one line under all the words that have the concept of plurality, and draw two lines under every word that has the idea of unity or singularness.

And what you'll see is stereo. Many, one. Many, one.

Multiple, singular. See, God has made us, in a word, key word, to be inner dependent. See, you have pluses, but your pluses are different than other people's pluses.

Their pluses plug into your minuses. It's like a jigsaw puzzle that God has created in the body of Christ, the supernatural community. You don't have to be everything, and you aren't everything, and you can't do everything, and you don't have to apologize for it, but figure out who you are, and then function in your giftedness. Function where God has you. By the way, what do we do? The normal way, notice this says we nurture healthy appreciation.

What do we do apart from the spirit? We compare. We walk in. We look at another person. We compare intelligence. We compare weight. We compare cars. We compare dress. We compare kids. We compare how good they are versus how bad we are, right? Compare, compare, compare, compare.

Where did they get that, that, that, that? You know what comparison does? It just produces carnality.

It just produces carnality. It just, then we put up images to try and look like we're better than we really are, and so that when they compare themselves with us and all these games, games, games, games, people don't get loved when you play games. You don't need to be anybody else. You need to be you. You need to appreciate what other people bring to the table and invite them into your life and step into their life and nurture, and so what do you do? You give thanks. You don't have to be everything because you're not, and neither am I. I don't know about you. I like this one.

It kind of takes the pressure off, but you need to figure out how God wired you up so you can function. Number three, authentic community begins where? Accurate view of yourself. Two, appreciation, nurturing appreciation for others, what they bring to the table, and three, it's when we practice a loyal allegiance to one another, and each member belongs to all the others, belongs, not should, not ought. This is not a work harder, pull up your bootstraps, start being a better Christian. It doesn't say that.

This is a fact. You belong with all the needs, and this is the tip of the iceberg, to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep. You belong, and we belong in yours. We belong to you.

In a word, you know what this boils down to? Loyal allegiance? Commitment. Commitment. We had a lady who was homeless. Homeless and in a wheelchair in a difficult situation.

Very difficult. You know what happened? There's a people, see this is loyalty. See it's one thing to be loyal to people you know, people you like, people you've had a relationship with.

It's different to be loyal to someone you say, I don't know them, here's what I know. She's in the body of Christ. So they opened their home, and she lived with them. It was in the midst of a horrendous situation, and little by little by little by little, God restored her marriage, God restored her child to her, and a family just opened their home for two months. You know what I call that?

Supernatural community. What God calls that is love. You see, where it all happens is in God's body, the church.

Let me ask you three quick application questions before we do a little pondering. And put simply, let me put it to you this way. This is not about, this whole message is not about will you get with it, okay?

If you're hearing get with it, you're missing it. This whole message is about the Lord Jesus saying I died for you. I died for you. And I knew you had needs, and when I walked on the earth and I saw your needs, I reached out with my hands to touch the leper, and I put the salve in the eyes of the blind man, and I had compassion for the woman, and I raised her daughter from the dead. And when people were hungry, you know, bring me what you have, and I fed them all. And he said, but the acts of the apostles, a better name is, it's the acts of the resurrected Christ through his body, us. And what he's saying is, you're part of a supernatural community if you understand your origin, your agenda, and the power that you have, if you're willing to be humble, if you're willing to be interdependent, and you're willing to commit to one another out of his power, what he's saying is, this is how you get loved when I'm in heaven.

This is how it works. You are my body. You belong to one another.

And so let me give you three application questions so you can feast upon what you already possess. The first one, application is that no individual Christian can function effectively by himself or herself. So let me ask you, are you a lone ranger out there? Do you feel isolated? Who's your spiritual family? If I said, name the top three or four people that you could call at any time they're a quality Christian person, knows you, loves you, and cares about your life. If you don't have someone, then you're not partaking of the supernatural community. And if you're here and you don't know Christ as your savior, you're not a part yet of the supernatural community. But God would say to you, it's open for all. We're preaching the kingdom.

The kingdom is people rightly related to God, rightly related to God together, reaching out to you today. Don't leave here today. Ask Jesus to be your savior. Ask him to forgive you of your sin. Admit you have need.

And you know what? If God's speaking to you right now, just forget what I'm saying. You know, you can keep your eyes open or shut them. Right where you're seated right now, just pray. He'll hear you. He knows. Say, Lord Jesus come into my life. Oh God, forgive me.

I had no idea. I long for community. I long for forgiveness. I'm sinful and I have violated a holy God. And you have and I have. The only difference between believers and unbelievers, he's paid the price for all.

Some have received the gift, some have not. Which side of that are you on? Second application, no member of the supernatural community is more or less important than anyone else. You're part of the team. You need to learn how to function and you say, but I don't know where I fit.

No one's more or less important. We all have a different part, but you got to figure out your part. And finally, we must get connected in real life relationships. If we're to experience the reality that we are members of one another, come figure out a way to join a ministry, do something so we can get connected with you and you with us. So you get loved. What's the missing link? Why aren't more people getting loved?

It's real simple. You got all these needs and you've got all these willing people. We need to grasp membership in the supernatural community and discover how we function. And when you do, you'll never be the same. Chip will be right back with his application for today, but just a quick reminder, this message, how to develop authentic relationships is from his series, Love One Another.

You know, it's easy to lose sight of the bubble we live in. It becomes clear though when Jesus challenges us through scripture and the status quos disturbed a little. But what if we overcame the fear that rises and made the decision to love one another like Jesus loves us?

What would happen within our homes, our families and our neighborhoods if we took his commandments seriously and really did love one another like that? In this series, Chip explores the powerful possibilities of lives lived according to Jesus' radical one anothers. To take a look at the resource options for Love One Another, including Chip's message notes, check it out online at LivingOnTheEdge.org or tap Special Offers on the app.

For more information, just give us a call at 888-333-6003. Well Chip, you ended the teaching with some pretty strong encouragement for us to press in to this commandment to love one another. But right now you've got some pretty great encouragement of another sort. I want to take just a few minutes to talk about something really important, and I hope especially for those of you that are regular listeners, you'll agree. God has been using the ministry of Living on the Edge in incredible ways. We've been growing and reaching folks like never before, and you're an important part of that. Your gifts to Living on the Edge make it possible for us to be present in places that without you, we simply couldn't be. Many of these places are extremely dangerous to proclaim the name of Christ, and your gifts make it possible for us to reach people in desperate situations right here in the United States. I can't tell you how many emails and letters I received that somewhere in that letter or email it's like, I was on my way to the abortion clinic or I was planning to end my life or I was about to give up on my marriage or I was giving up on God because of something terrible that happened to me, but then I started listening to you on my drive to work or my neighbor gave me this book or I found your app and this series on overcoming emotions or whatever.

It was God's catalyst to begin a total transformation in my life. These things aren't happening because of Chip Ingram or even Living on the Edge. They're happening because God is working in and through those who by faith respond and obey him. We can't do anything alone.

That's because it's not God's plan for any of us. We are in this together and Living on the Edge as God's ministry is about you and me doing exactly what God calls us to do. I would ask you, first, would you really pray for the ministry? Second, would you pray specifically about partnering at a deeper level and partnering with us financially?

Do whatever God leads you to do and let me say in advance, let's keep pressing ahead and thank you very much. As you prayerfully consider your role in partnering with Living on the Edge, I want to remind you that a gift of any amount is significant because multiplied efforts have greater impact. To send a gift, just call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003. Tap donate on the app or donate online at LivingOnTheEdge.org.

That's LivingOnTheEdge.org. On behalf of Chip and everyone here, thanks for your support. Well, now here's Chip with his application. As we close today's program, I want to remind you of something.

We've been talking about it for the last two broadcasts. I want to remind you that you are a member of a supernatural community and God has a supernatural agenda for you. God wants to use you and me radically to change this world and is given a supernatural power. As we interdependently live together, we can make a huge difference.

But how does it play out? How do we get to experience more of it? Well, let me walk through the three key things that you need and I need to experience supernatural community in your life. First, humility.

No individual can function effectively by himself or herself. Question, are you willing to let other people serve you? You heard in today's message that you need to serve and to reach out, but you'll never get connected unless you're willing to open up your life, unless you're willing to let someone in and let them help you. Would you be so bold to go to a brother or sister in Christ today, maybe even make a phone call and say, I need help. Would you pray for me about this?

Could you lend me a hand? You know what will happen? Someone will feel loved and needed and someone will get loved and that person is you. Second, interdependence. No member of a supernatural community is more or less important than anyone else. We need you. Everyone needs you and you need them.

There's no rank. The visible gifts aren't more important than the ones that are behind the scenes. We know this in theory, but it's true. We need you and you need us. If you're on the team, let me ask you, are you pulling your weight? Third is commitment. We must get connected in real life relationships if we're to experience the reality of being members of one another. I challenge you for Christ's sake, for the body of Christ's sake, and for your sake. Get connected to four or five other people at a deep level.

Open your life, open your heart, get into the Bible, sit in each other's living rooms or in a restaurant, whatever it takes, and get connected from the heart. You will begin to experience what God saved you to experience, the life of Christ manifested in you and then through you. Go for it. Just before we close, would you pray for those who are feeling challenged to respond to Chip's encouragement right now?

There's always a spiritual battle when we feel prompted to step out in faith. Thanks for taking a minute to do that. And if there's a way we can pray for you, would you let us know? Give us a call at 888-333-6003 or email chip at livingontheedge.org. We'd love to hear from you. Until next time, for everyone here, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.