Love One Another - How to Develop Authentic Relationships, Part 1

Do you feel lonely? Are you isolated? Do you go places and feel like you just don't fit in?

Does that even happen to you in the Church? Well, today we're going to learn it doesn't have to stay that way any longer. That's our topic today. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip's our Bible teacher on this international discipleship program, and I'm Dave Druey. We're in Chip's series called Love One Another, and in this program Chip explains there's a reason why the friendships we long for don't come naturally, even for Christians who are supposed to love everybody.

After the teaching, Chip will share some more personal comments that will help us really apply what we're about to hear. But let's join him now for his message, How to Develop Authentic Relationships, from Romans 12. Why are there so many people desperately hurting and in need of love, and so many others who are so willing and wanting to give love, yet so few who actually get loved?

See, I think that's accurate. I think we have a pool of need in the body of Christ that is massive. And I think we have a pool of resources and gift and willingness and love that is overwhelming. But I think there's a missing link. I think a lot of people with needs, and you may be one of them, don't really get loved or get loved at the level that you need it because somehow there's a missing link. And what I want to talk about this morning is the missing link so that real love can occur. You ask, well, what's the missing link? I think the missing link is six words.

And at first you'll say, what? But bear with me. Hang in there with me and see if you don't track with me. The missing link is a little phrase right out of the Bible out of Romans chapter 12 verse 5. You are members of one another.

That's the missing link. The link between huge need and incredible resources and willing hearts are you are members of one another. Not intellectually, not as in, oh yeah, we're the body of Christ, oh yeah, we're all related to Christ, therefore yes, we're related to one another in some sort of mystical union, the universal body of Christ.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about tangibly, practically, viscerally, we are members of one another. In fact, one translation says we belong to each other. So here's my thesis.

We're going to learn how to love one another but here's the thesis. To fulfill Jesus' command to love one another as He loved us demands that we understand our membership and our function in His supernatural community. Now I'm going to let you know why I call it that but when I say His supernatural community I mean the church but the word church is kind of, when you say church you know what in your mind comes in? Walls, buildings, names, pastors, that's not what I'm talking about.

When the word body of Christ comes to our minds, I think somehow very biblical good term but somehow it's grown into this fuzzy, yes, we're the body of Christ. What I want you to know is that if you understand who you are in membership and you understand your function and if you realize, if we realize we're a supernatural community, things we have in common, live life in community, in a supernatural community, it will transform your life and this group. See put another way, we can say Jesus' command is to love one another but if we don't know how it occurs and if we don't know where it occurs, you know what this whole series will be? It will be like some little platitudes, nice words, love each other, kind of spiritual religious mumbo jumbo where we kind of warm our hearts a little bit and say yeah let's try harder to be nicer.

That's not what this is about. This series I believe is designed by God, by the living Christ to move us from a theoretical concept of loving each other to practical, concrete, empowered, supernatural interaction with one another where on a daily basis, in tangible ways we move into one another's life and give and receive love in such a way that we are in awe of who God is. And I think the key, I think the key, the prerequisite is to grasp your membership and function in God's supernatural community. So turn the page if you will and I want to try and ask and answer a couple questions. The two questions I'd like to ask and answer is what makes it, the church, a supernatural community?

And then the second I'm going to ask and answer a little later is what makes it authentic or how do we function? The first one is doctrinal. The first one, I'm not going to teach Acts 1, 1 through 8. I'm not going to teach it, I'm going to highlight it. In just a second I'm going to read it, give you an overview and I'm deeply indebted to a fellow named Jim Dethmer. It's one of the best messages I've ever heard. But I want to highlight just the fact that we are in a supernatural community, the doctrine. What's true of us? Then I want to spend the majority of our time saying if that's true, how do we function so that those with willing hearts and those people with desperate needs can be moved together by the power of the Holy Spirit in such a way that deep needs get met, people who need love get loved, and people who give away love have something happen in them that is one of the most wonderful things in the world, God's hand on you being used to transform other people's lives.

So let's look together. Just listen right now. I've put the text in front of you, you can follow along, but I want you just to listen. Acts 2 is the real beginning of the church.

It explodes on the scene. But Acts chapter 1 verses 1 through 8 is like the prologue. It's where Luke the author is going to tell his friend Theopolis, now I'm writing this all down and I want you to understand the gist. I want you to get the skinny, I want you to get the behind the scenes so that when Acts 2 like a superstructure explodes on the scene, you understand that it just didn't happen.

It was planned. So just listen. Luke writes, in my former book Theophilus, he's speaking of the Gospel of Luke, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach until the day he was taken up to heaven. So the Gospel of Luke was written talking about Jesus and his physical body and his ministry there.

Now he goes on. After giving instruction through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen, after his suffering, he showed himself to these men and gave many convincing proofs or miracles that he was alive. He appeared to them for over a period of 40 days and he spoke about the kingdom of God. So basically what he's saying so far is, now Theophilus I want you to get the background and the last book was about Jesus on the earth.

This next book I'm writing, it's done careful study. I'm a historian and Jesus after he resurrected was on the earth for 40 days in a resurrection body and he taught about the kingdom of God. He did miracles, he gave clear instruction, he brought the disciples together that he'd chosen and he gave them a game plan about what he wanted them to do just before he ascended. Picking it up now in verse 4. On one occasion while he was eating with them he gave them this command. Do not leave Jerusalem but wait for the gift my father promised which you heard me speak about. He's preparing them. They need to be equipped.

Reason? For John baptized with water but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit. So when they met together they ask him hearing this, Lord are you at this time going to restore the kingdom of Israel? Is this a time when it's all going to happen? Are we going to get our thrones? Are you going to take over the Roman government?

Is this, is it, is it, is it, is it? That's the idea. He responds, it is not for you to know the times or the dates that the father has set by his own authority but, verse 8, you'll receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria and to the ends of the earth. Now he's laying out, he's given the outline of the book.

That's geographically how the book outlines. He said this was Jesus' game plan when he came back in a resurrected body. He taught about the kingdom of God. Then what he did is the disciples wanted to know is this going to fulfill my dreams, my personal agenda? And he's going to teach them, no, I have a different agenda. God's final culmination of the ages is up to him.

You don't need to know that. What you need to know is you will have power and you will be my witnesses or my ambassadors to reach the world for Christ. Start where you are in Jerusalem, move out from there, Samaria and Judea, and the goal is that this message of the resurrected Christ, fully God, fully man, who died as a sin-bearing atonement, the penalty for sin, has been resurrected and the good news is forgiveness of sin is available to any human being on the planet who would receive and trust in his work on the cross. And he proved it by his resurrection. Now, that's the background.

Here's what I want to do. I want to give you three reasons why we live in not a human community, but a supernatural community. Reason number one, it has a supernatural origin.

We're in a supernatural community because it has a supernatural origin. Let me give you four words to circle. First, the little phrase, giving instruction. Second phrase, chosen. Third phrase, convincing proofs. And fourth phrase, period of 40 days. I'd like to suggest that the church is a supernatural community because it began with a divine command, gave instruction.

In other words, a group of guys didn't sit around, you know, kind of drinking coffee at a cafe in downtown Jerusalem. Hey, Pete, what do you think? Jesus is gone.

Yeah, rough deal, huh? What do you think? What do you want to do? I don't want to fish you.

I'm sick of fishing. Why don't we start a church? Hey, okay. What's the church? I don't know. We'll make it up as we go along.

You know, we'll just kind of, we'll just kind of tell them the best stuff we can remember Jesus told us and maybe something good will happen. That's not how it happened. That's not how it happened. The church came about because there was a divine command by the resurrected Christ. The second reason that makes it supernatural, it's by a chosen group.

It wasn't their idea. Divine command and he chose a special group, a divine selection. The third thing is it is authenticated by convincing proofs. Divine supernatural power is what got it started. I mean, these guys were risking their lives. To be identified with Christ, the resurrected Christ, means you're going to get hung up by your thumbs by the Jews and maybe killed by the Romans. He had to do many miracles in that 40 days so they would know, hey man, this is for real.

Fourth, it's a period of 40 days. It was in space time history. This happened in real time. This isn't a dream.

This isn't some foggy idea. It happened right there in Jerusalem. If you could go back in a time machine, you would see the dust. You would see the people. You could see their eyes. You could have reached in and touched Jesus' hands.

You could have put your hands in his side. This is not a spiritual kingdom. This is about the risen resurrected Christ in space time history who lived, who demonstrated convincingly for 40 days to 500 witnesses. The church that you belong to is a supernatural community because it had a supernatural origin. Now you're involved in another community that produces something similar.

It's probably the most important community or the most painful community you've ever been involved in. It's called your family, isn't it? What makes you a member of your family? We have a common origin, don't we? See I want you to get out of and I want to get out of this fuzzy thinking, we're the body of Christ, isn't that cute? And I want you to realize that just as you have a common origin with your mother, father, or just mother, or just father, and just as you know in your heart of hearts that if your biological family, even despite all the struggle some of you have been through, that there is an obligation to honor them because they brought you into the world, I want you to know the person sitting next to you, if he's born again, if he knows Christ, if she knows Christ, you have a common origin, we have a responsibility to one another. Not in some fuzzy kind of way, but in a way that is actually thicker and deeper than blood relationships. Second observation, it has a supernatural agenda.

Did you know what he talked about? The kingdom of God. You know what the kingdom of God is? The kingdom of God is very simply this, it's when God's rulership reigns. It's when God rules and his will is being accomplished. Put another way, it's when people are rightly related to God, rightly related to one another, and reaching out to people who are outside of kingdom blessing. That's what the kingdom of God is. And Jesus said it would move forcefully. He called you and he called me out in faith to be rightly related to him, forgiven, deposit with the Holy Spirit, and then to be rightly related to one another, and we together put our arms around and say, God use us.

That's the kingdom of God. We have a supernatural agenda. We have a mission. Now many of you have developed incredibly close bonds in a human community, haven't you? How many have ever played on a team of any kind? You've been on a team, right? What happens on a team? It could be a jury, it could be a work team, it could be a softball team, it could be a team of women, it could be a team of men, it could be in junior high. I'll tell you this, some of the closest, deepest relationships I have on the earth are people that I played college or high school or some sort of basketball or baseball with. Why?

You've got a common agenda. What do we know from the NFL? Here are these at times steroid filled bodies, 340, massive strengths. They separate their shoulder and what do they say? I'm just going to tape it up and I'm going to get out there and play. Why? Because we're on a team together. I can't let the team down. You see, when you have an agenda or a mission that's bigger than yourself and you buy into it from your heart, it produces incredible bonds. Do you hear what? Hey, we've got a mission that's a lot bigger than winning a Super Bowl. And we put our shoulders together.

Now you know what? Guys play in games when they're hurt. Women play in games when they're tired. It means that you put aside other things and you say we have a supernatural agenda.

We have a supernatural origin. We are a family. We are a team.

And you function like a team. How do you feel about team members that only show up for the games and never come to practice? If you only come to the games and never come to practice, how much do you usually get to play in the games? Not very much. How apart do you feel of the team?

Not very much. Who has the worst attitudes on any team you've ever been on? The people on the field or the people sitting on the bench? I've spent my time on the bench. It's just hard to believe that a coach could be as naive and moronic to evaluate and think that those other players were actually better than me. I mean, being on the bench was one of the hardest things in my life to have a good attitude as a Christian. You know where most problems come in churches? People are sitting on the bench.

People are sitting on the stands. People who have unconsciously a consumer mentality. Feed me. You don't have this for my children? Oh, you've changed hours? Oh, this is going to happen?

Well, how come we don't have donuts with the coffee? It would be nice if we had name tags. You know, it would really be wonderful if we could. You know, it was a little too hot that last weekend. You know, that one song was a little too loud, but then next week it was a little too soft. You know, been there, huh? That happens in churches all the time. You know why? They don't got the agenda. And that was coaching talk.

They don't got on purpose. You've been listening to part one of Chip's message, how to develop authentic relationships from his series, Love One Another. You know, it's easy to hear truth, believe it, even be moved by it, and then drift along to whatever comes next. If you've been moved today to love the people around you a little better than you have been, this series Love One Another provides biblical direction to help you pursue that goal. Love One Another will give you insight into issues like how to love difficult people, how to restore someone who's fallen into sin, and how to lovingly hold one another accountable. It's filled with practical truth to help you deepen relationships on every level. To take a look at our resource options for Love One Another, check it out online at LivingOnTheEdge.org or tap special offers on the app.

For more information, just give us a call at 888-333-6003. Now here's Chip with a quick thought. I'll be right back in just a minute with some practical application to today's message. But as we went through this message, it reminded me of a great quote by one of my mentors, Proth Howard Hendricks. He would always say, you cannot impart what you do not possess. In other words, if you're not experiencing God's love, God's forgiveness, God's life, you can't impart that to someone else.

And so let me ask you, just before we move on in today's program, who is God asking you to love right now that it feels impossible? Or to be maybe a little bit more honest, you don't want to. Okay, right?

We all get there. You know what? You know their name.

In fact, they might even be married to them, or they're in your family, or someone at work. You know God wants you to love them, and either you can't or you don't want to. Well, you have to receive God's love and God's power.

How does that work? Well, what we know is that obviously it comes by the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit uses the raw material of God's Word. And so being in God's Word, even when you don't feel like it, is critical. But what I find is so many people, they'll read something in the Bible, close the Bible, and twenty minutes later, they couldn't tell you even what they read, let alone apply it. One of the tools that has been most helpful for me and those that I know who walk closely with God is they have a journal that is open, and as they read God's Word, they write in their journal, this is what God is saying to me from this passage. This is what I'm going to do today.

I often put a little box next to mine so that when I do it, I come back and check that box. Here's what I want you to know. You can't impart what you don't possess. You need to experience God's love.

And I don't mean just emotional. I mean you need to experience His truth going into your heart and your life, renewing your mind, and as you interact with His Word, and as you get a pen out and actually write some things down, what you're going to see is He's going to speak to you in ways that will empower you to then love others. We put together a tool. It's a beautiful 200-page journal with some helps inside of it that will help you experience God's love in a deeper way. If you think that would be helpful, let me encourage you to get that and try it out. Well, as you can tell, we're pretty excited about our new prayer journals. It's one thing to talk about how helpful journaling can be, but we wanted to make one available that would actually encourage you and enable you to do it. Inside, Chip's given you a few of his journaling tips, and while there are a few scriptures and quotes here and there, there's plenty of room for you to write out passages or prayers or just what's on your heart between you and God.

They come in a couple different colors with embossed gold or silver trimmings, and the whole thing is beautifully finished and bound. For a limited time, our brand-new prayer journals are discounted, so I hope you'll check them out today. You'll find all the details at livingontheedge.org.

App listeners will find them when you tap Special Offers. And for more information, just give us a call at 888-333-6003. As we wrap up today's program, I do understand and I know it's a lot harder to be connected in the Church, in the Body of Christ. But I want you to really ponder and think carefully with me. It doesn't mean it's less important. In fact, I would argue we need one another. We need the Church, the supernatural community, the functions of the body, using our gifts, being connected to one another, coming together to serve others in the Church, serving people outside the Church. I mean, what changed the world was the Church coming together and loving each other radically and then pouring that out into the lives of the needs of hurting, hurting people. And we have more opportunity to do that than ever before. What I do know is that with all the social distancing, with COVID, with all the things we've been through, sometimes we mistakenly think the form of the Church and the Church are the same thing.

In other words, if we can't on a Sunday morning, or in some cases a Saturday night, go into a building and someone's going to talk and there's going to be some music and then we go hang out together or you go to a class. I mean, there's certain forms that we've gotten used to that have vanished literally in many, many churches here and around the world. And here's what I want to get you to think about.

The forms may change, but the functions never change. There are three things that have to happen in the life of a believer in order for the Church of Jesus Christ to move forward. In other words, Jesus said, I came that you might have life and you would have it abundantly. In John 1, it says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things came into being through Him, and nothing came into being that has come into being apart from Him. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And I take that word life, and there's a little acronym I use called BIO. It means life, B-I-O. And what I can tell you is whether you meet in a large group, a warehouse, or on video, you have to come before God. You have to come before God in His Word, come before God in prayer. You must do that individually, and you must do that corporately. The I in BIO is you have to do life in community.

You may have to put on a mask, you may have to do social distancing, you may have to do it on Zoom, but you have to be committed to, I'm going to stay connected, and is it awkward, and is it not as easy to be as vulnerable. I get it, I get it, I get it, but we need it, and we have to be innovative. The B in BIO is coming before God.

The I is doing life in community, and the O in BIO is on mission. Yes, it's hard, and you may have to put on some gloves, and you deliver groceries, or knock on the door, and ask the neighbors for help, but we have to be on mission. The needs are all around us. Are we stupid? Do we take risks in ways that are unwise?

Absolutely not. But as Martin Luther shared during the plagues of his time, he said, I will do nothing foolish that will endanger other people, but I will in no way not go to people in need to love them in the name of Jesus and provide for their needs, because I'm afraid of what will happen to me. We are living in a day where the forms may change, but we must come before God daily. We need to do life in community weekly, and we have to be on mission 24-7. I use that as my little sort of dashboard to say, Chip, are you going to be connected, involved, and growing in the Church of Jesus Christ? It's about BIO. It's about life.

Now let me ask you, what's missing? Are you coming before God? Are you doing life in community? Are you sitting back, or are you on mission? Not focused on what you can't do, but doing what you can.

Let's go for it together. Just before we close, I want to say thanks to those of you who are giving regularly to the Ministry of Living on the Edge. You're making a huge difference helping other Christians live like Christians. Now, if you're enjoying the benefits of Living on the Edge, but aren't yet on the team, would you do that today? You can set up a recurring donation by calling us at 888-333-6003, tapping the donate button, or visiting us online at LivingOnTheEdge.org. Thanks in advance for doing whatever the Lord leads you to do. Well, Chip continues his series, Love One Another, in our next program, so be sure to join us again. In the meantime, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.