We've all heard, you deserve a break today. You deserve to be happy. Well, here's the question. Why are there so many unhappy people?
Is there possibly a different way to be happy than what we're pursuing? That's today on Living on the Edge. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Living on the Edge is an international discipleship ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram. I'm Dave Drouy, and in this program, we wrap up our series called Relational Intelligence. It's been a great run. Each message has brought helpful biblical insight into building the skills of navigating relationships well. First, in a way that honors God, and second, in a way that brings us blessing in the process. Now, if you missed any of these messages along the way, they're available on the Chip Ingram app or at livingontheedge.org.
Just click the broadcasts tab. Now, Chip and his son Ryan have teamed up on this one, so after Ryan's teaching, Chip will be here in studio with some additional thoughts, so be sure to stay with us for that. Well, let's get going and join Ryan Ingram for part two of his message, You Deserve to Be Happy.
Blessed or happy are the ones who do not walk, stand, and sit. See, I think many of us start out in life with great intentions, right? Maybe you're just getting done with college, and you have this vision, and maybe you had a moment with God, and you're like, man, God, I want to give you my whole life. I want to run passionately after you. I'm, you know, I'm going to date someone that I believe we're better together.
I'm going to honor you and my relationships here. Man, when I get into the business world, I'm going to, like, I know you've made me to make an impact with my life, and then simply start to get caught up where we're just not really paying attention. Maybe started out with good intentions, but then we're just kind of walking along, going, I never intended to walk this way, but it's just where the crowd was going, and I just began to walk and be carried away, and then I found that I was standing. I was lingering, and I just found that I just sat down, kind of gave up, and this is just how life is.
In fact, I don't know if there's any other way to live. He says, happy people don't get caught up there. Happy people are the ones who say, no, no, no, I am not the center of the universe. It's not all about me.
Now is not all there is. In fact, I was created for a grander, larger purpose by God himself, and so I'm going to orient my life around God. Notice what he says next. He says, blessed are those who do not walk and step with the wicked or stand in the way the sinners take or sit in the company markers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night. He says, happy people, happy is the person who delights in God. Like you just delight in him, and it makes sense, by the way. It's so logical. If you believe there is a God who created you, who is good and loves you, then when you delight in your creator, you're going to be most fulfilled. It makes sense.
It says, who delights in his law, who meditates on his word day and night. When my wife and I were dating, we dated long distance. I was in Chicago.
She was at Cal Poly slow, and then eventually she moved to Sweden for a year with crew to do a stint with them. I didn't have a cell phone in college. I know that may shock some of you. And you're like, wow, that's archaic. And so we had to make phone calls. I'd buy prepaid phone cards and dial up in my dorm room and go. It was a cord phone, so I'd go out in the hallway and try to have a conversation. And here's what was amazing is because we didn't have all those things, and it's awesome that we have them now, we'd write letters.
We'd send care packages. I got to tell you, any time I went down to our, you know, campus post office and got a care package, like, my heart leapt. I mean, just like, this is insane. This is amazing.
Are you kidding me? I'd open it up, and there's a note from Jenny. I just read it over and over again and just be like, oh, this is amazing.
I still have a box from all the things that we sent each other, you know, over that year period, and it's still precious to me. God wrote you a note. I know we know this or we've heard this before, but would you just sink in? Like, God loves you, and he's like, man, I want the best life for you possible. And he says, blessed are those who in the same way that a young man is dating this young woman across the globe, you know, just like pours over a love note, would you pour over God's word? Just go, man, I'm going to delight in your word. Like, I want to get your word in my heart. God, I want to know your heart.
Like, you really love me, and you want to, like, make yourself known to me, and you want to know me and, like, share things with me, and so I'm going to get into your word. Would you just, like, pour over his word that we'd be a people of his word? Like, happy are the people who delight in God's word. Like, you begin to go, like, okay, as I'm getting in here, God, you're not down on me. You're for me. Like, well, Ingram, I saw that where it said, delight in the law of the Lord. Are you kidding me? When has anybody ever delighted in the law of the Lord?
Well, read the Psalms. It's all throughout here, but you're like, yeah, but normal people, like really everyday people. When my daughter was two years old, she came running around the corner of our house with scissors in her hands, and the sharp end was facing this way, and so she's running, so it's like coming right past her eye, the sharp end, just like this. The way two-year-olds run, you know, it's just like flailing arms everywhere, and I'm like, stop! And I was like, I probably shouldn't have yelled, probably just freak her out, you know? I grabbed the scissors, and she cried because her mean dad took the scissors that she was playing and having so much fun with away, and guess what?
She cried and was mad at me, all my kids, because I didn't let them play in the street when they're little kids. See, every time I had one of those moments with my kids, it wasn't because I was trying to keep them from anything or rain on their parade. It's because as a good father, I love them and want to protect them, and I want the very best for them. Would you recognize at the heart of every command of God is an I love you. He doesn't command anything if it's not for your good. He's not trying to withhold from you, keep you from something that is good. He's actually trying to keep you from harm, so you'd go, I'm going to delight in your law because your law is good, and it's for my good, and every command you've ever given is an I love you from your heavenly father to you.
Doesn't that change the way you think about his law? Instead of going like, man, God's just holding out on me. Oh, man, your perfect heavenly father who's wild about you and loves you and wants you to experience the very best life ever says, there's some things that I'm going to say, and it's for your good, and I'm going to pull the scissors out of your hand.
I'm not going to let you run in the street and you're going to be mad a little bit, but I tell you what, it's for your good because I love you. Blessed, happy, the person who delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night. Now notice this, that person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither, whatever they do, prosper. That person is rooted, established, not getting thrown by the winds of the culture, by the circumstances of our political environments.
That person is rooted and established and stable. Don't you want that? Notice this, fruit. Fruit comes in a particular season.
Did you see this? It said, which yields its fruit in season, meaning there are seasons where it's not fruitful. And we know this, we look at nature. There's times where there's a fruit tree and it's winter. See, there are times where you're experiencing new growth, maybe seasons of pruning or winter dormancy. And what he's saying here, and it's so powerful, he says that it's yielded fruit in season and yet whatever they do prospers so you can prosper even when life is not fruitful in the moment.
See, much of the way we determine success is by outward. What does it look like? What is the fruits? And here's what he's saying. He's saying fruit takes place in a certain season, yet growth happens year round. Some of the greatest root growth takes place when there is no fruit on the tree. In the winter season, God is doing root development. On the outside, it looks like nothing is happening, but down below the surface, some of the most important areas are being developed. And for some, you're in a root development season as you're learning to go deep with God. And you're like, well, some of the outward circumstances don't look exactly the way I would like them. That's not fruitful. And you're like, no, no, no, your roots are going deep into him and it's productive and prospering. See, the law of happiness says that there's actually only two paths in life.
Right? No, there's so many paths, so many choices. Now, let's just say there's one path that says I'm going to pursue and delight in God.
This other psalmist would say, delight in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart. Like I'm just going to pursue after you and the other path is I'm going to pursue after my own thing. Every other path is just you being at the center of you. And so Relational Intelligence, when it comes to happiness, says this, happiness is a byproduct of a well lived life, not a destination in life. See, happiness, when we're talking about it, especially in our modern term of, you know, the whole idea of a sense of pleasurable satisfaction, it's a byproduct. It's a path to go down. Happiness is a wonderful traveling companion. It is not a destination or an end goal.
In fact, C.S. Lewis would say it this way. You cannot get a second thing by putting them first. You can get a second thing only by putting first things first. And for some, what you're coming to realize is the things that you've been running after aren't bad things. But they're second things.
Because they'll never be the thing that makes you happy. In fact, Jesus would say it this way. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, his way of life, the blessed life of someone. That's his way of life.
And all these things will be added unto you. That wasn't just like a nice idea. It wasn't like Jesus is going like, hey, you know, take it or leave it.
He'd say in your life, you've been pursuing and running after things that you hope will make you happy and you've made happiness an ultimate thing. No, no, no. It's a byproduct, by the way. It's not a destination. It's a traveling companion. But when you seek me, when you put your heart and soul and say, I'm going to seek your ways and your heart, by the way, all these things will be added. You'll get the second things along the way. You just make me the delight of your heart. Okay, well, what do I do with this? That's fantastic.
But how do I go about doing that? Let me give you just a couple application points, some decisions this week to make application in your relationships, whether it's a friendship, maybe it's your dating or married or work relationships. But in your relationships, would you choose to be a giver, not just a taker? Would you choose to be a giver, not just a taker?
Jesus would say it this way. It's more blessed to give than receive. What's fascinating. What's fascinating is science and psychology backs it up. 2000 years later, did you know in the paradox of generosity research book, those Americans who give away money and more specifically those who give away at least 10% of their income are happier than those who do not? Huh?
That's weird. What Jesus said agrees with our best, you know, research of our day. We might just want to start taking God at his word. I'm just saying, come on.
You're like, I don't know. Like, would you choose to be a giver? See, when happiness is your end goal, other people are a commodity that you take. You live with a scarcity mindset. I'm not going to get mine.
And so I got to make sure to get mine. And no, you have an abundance because of who you are in Christ. You go, no, I'm going to be a giver.
And by the way, when I give, actually I'm going to be filled up in that moment. Paul and Philippians and the whole theme of Philippians is choose joy. That's like the whole book says, therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, that's a lot of things that you have in Christ, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and one in mind. Then notice this, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Do nothing about like, how do I get mine? Rather in humility, value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interest of others in your relationships. Would you choose to be a giver with your time, your energy, resources, money, not to be a doormat, to be walked over. And some of you wrestle on that side of it, but most of us, we want to get and we're afraid to give.
And he says, no, no, no. Happy are those who choose to be a giver, not just a taker. Secondly, would you choose gratefulness instead of griping? Did you know with neuroplasticity, we can actually re, you know, program our mind a little bit. Research says 10% of happiness comes from circumstances. 50% of our happiness comes from our temperament or genetic, and 40% has to do with how we live our lives.
So 10% is only circumstantial according to the best research. 50% is part of your genetic temperament. Neuroplasticity says you can rewire your brain for happiness. 40% has to do with how we live our life. Gratefulness rewires your brain.
Gripping does as well. Philippians 4, 4 through 7 says, rejoice. And by the way, that's a command. Rejoice in the Lord always. In the good times and the bad times, I'll say it again, rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident. Oh, the Lord's near.
His presence is close. That's the reason you can rejoice. Do not be anxious about anything. Well, come on. This area is so, we're living in the most anxious driven world.
How do I do that? But in every situation, by prayer and petition, leaning into God with thanksgiving, present your request to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Would you choose gratefulness instead of griping, where you become happy for what you have?
No, no, no. I'll be happy when I have. I'm just going to begin to be happy for what I have. God, I'm happy.
I'm not really happy, but I'm grateful. Let's start there. It has to be a daily discipline, by the way. Advertisement in our day is built around you looking at what you do not have and creating the need that if you have it, then you'll be happy to create a deep dissonance in our soul with where we're at. And so we have to constantly go, I'm grateful for, I'm thankful for. Part of my practice in doing this is I journal and it's just the way I pray because I'm distractible and I can't keep my thoughts clear and so I write them down.
It's just helpful for me. And when I start, you know, I begin with, you know, good morning, my Heavenly Father. I want to remind that He's my Heavenly Father. And then I start with just with thank yous. Thank you, God, for, because it reorients my mind, redirects my mind from from the things that I'm frustrated and from all the like pressures in the man to like, God, look at what all you've provided for me.
See, my circumstances don't change, but my perspective did. And it's powerful. I love to gripe, by the way. And we all love a good gripe. Don't we love it when someone will gripe with us and it's like, yeah, man, this person. And when someone doesn't do it, isn't it frustrating?
Like, come on. And yet. And yet it causes us to look at the world. With that scarcity.
With not enough. Would you choose gratefulness? Thank you, God, for what you've given me. And then finally, would you choose contentment over comparison? Would you choose contentment?
Would you make these decisions in your relationships? Would you today go, OK, this is going to be hard, but when when, you know, I want to be a taker, God, I'm going to I'm going to by the power of your spirit, would you empower me to be a giver in this moment? I'm going to choose gratefulness. I'm not very grateful right now, but but God, would you help me? I'm just going to thank you for the man. Thank you for this house I'm renting.
I could be not having a house to rent. I'd love to own one day, but I'm thankful for what you provided. Choose contentment. Happy with what you have over comparison. Social media. We compare other people's filtered highlight reel to our unfiltered reality, don't we? And nowadays it used to be where it's just like pictures of what really happened. Now, it's people taking five billion pictures and professional cameras and staging stuff to prove that this is they're having the best life. And what research has shown over and over again, the more we're on social media, the more depressed, discouraged and anxious we are as a people.
That's just research. Why? Because you're constantly comparing. Constantly getting fed with you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're just not enough. Choose contentment. I am saying this, the apostle Paul, Philippians 4-11, not because I'm in need, for I've learned to be content whatever the circumstance.
Whoa. I know what it is to be in need. I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in one. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. That's the context of the verse that we quote all the time. I can do all this or some all things through Christ who gives me strength. The all this is contentment. It's what he does in his strength, whether you have a lot or don't.
The issue isn't what you have, it's whether he's got all of you. Whether you go, okay, I'm going to choose to be a giver, not just a taker. I'm going to choose gratefulness instead of griping. I'm going to choose contentment over comparison.
Why? Because happiness is a byproduct of a well lived life, not a destination. Today, you, you get to choose.
You can make happiness the destination and be running after the elusiveness, or you can go, okay, happy is the one who makes and the Lord. You're listening to Living on the Edge and Chip's with us to talk about the message you just heard. But in case you jumped in late, our guest teacher today was Ryan Ingram. With this message, you deserve to be happy from his series Relational Intelligence. Navigating relationships has never been easy, which is why Chip asked Ryan to come and share these messages that bring such practical applications to the daily challenges.
Culture has a powerful voice that influences our attitudes and our thinking. So Ryan's fresh perspective on relationship building from a biblical point of view provides the tools you may need to make a few course corrections. For a limited time, resources for Relational Intelligence are discounted and the MP3s are always free. To order your copy or to send it to a friend, visit us online at livingontheedge.org. For additional information, just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. Well, Chip, for a few weeks now we've been inviting people to do the Daily Discipleship with you. Now, can you describe what Daily Discipleship is and what they can expect when they sign up for it? Dave, the Daily Discipleship with me is meeting one-on-one and teaching people from Ephesians chapters 1, 2, and 3 how God sees them. We'll learn some Bible study methods.
We'll do a little journaling. We will actually learn how to meet with God. You know, Relational Intelligence, at the core of it, is actually understanding how deeply you're already loved so that you can give the love of God to others. So let me invite you, if you want to really practice Relational Intelligence, join me for Daily Discipleship with Chip. If you'd like to join these short daily video sessions with Chip, sign up today. Each video session will only be about ten minutes, and as the course progresses, Chip will walk you through how to read Scripture and how to hear God speak directly to you through the first three chapters of the book of Ephesians. Now, to sign up for Daily Discipleship with Chip, visit us online at livingontheedge.org.
For more information, just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. As we wrap up today's program and wrap up this entire series, I have to tell you, I've had a blast. It's been a joy for me personally to learn and think through relationships through a countercultural and counterintuitive lens, from someone younger, someone I know well, but someone younger and who's living in a world that's a little bit different than mine. And today, I was reminded, and you're reminded, if you want great relationships, we have to make some choices. Choose to be a giver instead of a taker.
What are you giving in relationships versus what are you getting? Choose to be grateful instead of griping. We can't keep focusing on what we don't have. We need to thank God for what we do have.
And then the last one was powerful. Choose contentment over comparison. Limit your social media time and go on a journey to find the true source of happiness. I love the very last line of the message is, happiness is the byproduct of a relationship, of the one who delights in the Lord. The writer of Hebrews reminds us of what's important and what's really not and where to find it. He says, keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So with confidence we can say the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me? The source of knowing God is His word. Can I encourage you, build your relationships around the foundation of God's word, God's community and discovering His mission and purpose and living it out every day. As you give away your life, you'll find true happiness. As we wrap up, I want to say thank you to those who make this program possible through your generous financial support. Your gifts help us create programs, purchase airtime and develop additional resources to help Christians live like Christians. Now, if you've been blessed by the Ministry of Living on the Edge, would you consider sending a gift today? You can call us at 1-888-333-6003, tap the donate button or donate online at livingontheedge.org. Your support is greatly appreciated. Until next time, this is Dave Druey saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.
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