Today I'm Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Sexual freedom, gay rights, transgenderism. For the last few decades, these are the issues that have caused the most animosity and anger between the church and the culture.
So how do we engage people on these tough subjects with unconditional love without compromising the truth? It's a tough one, isn't it?
Well, that's today. Stay with me. Today on Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram invites guest teacher Aaron Pierce for a truly practical message on how to hold onto biblical truth without losing a relationship due to the divisive topic of sexuality. In an earlier program, Aaron addressed the argument of politics with this challenge: love the person even if you disagree with the position. And if you need to revisit or get caught up on that lesson, or any message from our current series called Caring Enough to Connect, just go online to livingontheedge.org.
Well now here's Aaron with today's message. Let's talk about the hard stuff.
Okay, so now that we've, you know, dealt with politics, let's go to the next easy topic, which is sexuality.
Now, sexuality is undoubtedly the issue that draws the most hostility from secular culture, right, towards the church. And if you're going to be actively engaging in secular culture, the topic of LGBTQ plus is unavoidable. It's tough, right? Because discussions about LGBTQ rights are emotionally charged. And they're drawing on themes of justice and equality connected to the civil rights movements of the 50s and 60s.
That's what makes it so hard, right? Because you don't want to be on the wrong side of history. And anything less than total affirmation of all things LGBTQ is quickly labeled as homophobic and bigoted. And it's a big challenge. Secular workplaces celebrate Pride Month with no regard for anyone that might not agree with it.
Like, it's a really tough context. And the allies, frankly, are the most vicious in their defense.
So this is a really challenging time for Christians who hold to a traditional biblical sexual ethic. It's hard, and the thought of engaging these conversations can be terrifying and paralyzing. And so the challenge is, and what I want to begin to unpack is: how should a faithful follower of Jesus live in a Pride Month world? How do we do that? And so let's talk a little bit about some key assumptions.
The first step in engaging these topics is to recognize That beneath the mask of like intense moral conviction. There is actually deep confusion. and brokenness. At the core of the confusion today is the circular statement, love is love.
Now, this statement, as you know, is a banner for LGBTQ rights, and it implies that people should be free to love whoever they want, however they want. But the question, of course, is what is love? Right? And pop culture messages and love are so confused and conflicted. I mean love is sex, love is lust, love is a feeling.
Love is whatever I want it to be. And the reality is that we're just confused. And we are desperate. for belonging. and acceptance.
That's the core truth that you can hold on to, is that people are desiring belonging and acceptance, but they have no idea where to find it. Even within the LGBTQ movement itself, there's so much confusion, division, and incoherence. The L, the lesbians and old school feminists are fighting with the transgender movement. I mean, because what are women's right if there's no such thing as a woman? And mental health care is in disarray because no longer are we seeking to align people's mental state to their physical realities or objective truth, but instead align their bodies to their psychological feelings.
It's a crazy, confusing time. And as we already discussed, as it relates to politics, Jesus' response to the confusion. was compassion. Right, that is always Jesus' response. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused.
and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
So like Jesus, as we engage This topic. We need to start from a place of radical love and mercy.
So part of approaching this with love Is approaching it with empathy, which means that we need to understand their reality properly.
so that we can have a better empathy.
So while some of the explosive growth in those that identify as LGBTQ is just kind of just a trend, and oftentimes when people are looking for a place to connect and belong and be affirmed, they're going to identify this way. And so there's some of that for sure going on, but many people really do experience same-sex attraction. And they do experience gender dysphoria and other things that are confusing as it relates to their sexuality. And over the years, debates have raged about whether you're born gay or whether it's a choice. And the truth is that the reasons are complex.
and they're not the same for everyone. And then we need to make a critical distinction. between temptation and sinful action. It's a really clear thing because temptation is not a sin. But the action in thought and deed in response to the temptation is.
And we know this because Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus was tempted in every way, just as we are, yet he did not sin. He was tempted, but he did not sin. And so the truth is that we are all sexually broken. All of us. Each one of us, to some degree, is the product of the sin of others, our own sin, and our fallen nature.
And so that is why we approach this whole topic with humility. empathy and compassion. Because we are all in that place of brokenness. And it changes the approach and the mentality that we have when we gauge people. And then we can approach it with love and action.
We've talked about this in other contexts, but one of the lies of our culture is that in order to love someone, I must affirm their lifestyle and behavior. And this is one of the biggest challenges as it relates to sexuality. And as we engage this topic, particularly if we're engaging people that are hostile as it relates to this topic, this is actually the first assumption that we need to challenge. Like, we can't talk about is homosexuality a sin or God's original design for the body. We need to talk about: can I love you without agreeing with you?
That's actually the first thing that I need to talk about. You're actually going to love them. even though you disagree with them. And so remember that people are longing for deep relational connection. Like that is an assumption you need to remember is always true.
And so, if you can continue to be a friend and develop authentic relationships with people, you are able to show them Jesus through your actions. and that is often where it starts. And that doesn't mean compromising our theological beliefs at all. Again, remember that being in a relationship and association with someone is not synonymous with affirming their lifestyle. It's about challenging that lie that stands in the way of them meeting Jesus.
That's what we're doing.
So I'll give you an example of this. This is Josiah.
So it's me and Serena and Josiah, we met him at a park. And we started to talk to him, and it turned out he's kind of a pretty lonely guy. And we started to talk to him about what's going on in his life. He told us his life story and he had grown up in a Catholic church, really didn't mean all that much to him, went to college, walked away from it all, and ended up getting in and becoming gay. And he had just moved to Minneapolis, but he was pretty disconnected.
And he had a boyfriend, but they had just broken up. And he was feeling pretty lonely. And so we just began to talk to him. And we were pretty clear from the beginning that we were Christians, but we just began to talk and develop a relationship and ask him about other stuff in his life. Like it's not always about sexuality.
They have more to them. And so he was an artist and he was showing some of the art that he was creating and that he was working on a business. I was like, man, that's cool. I was like, hey, I have a little bit of business background. We should get together.
Maybe I can help you with your business plan. And he was like, yeah, that would be awesome.
So we exchanged contact information. And a few weeks later, we met at a caribou. And we looked at his business plan stuff. And we just talked about how can you do this business well? What are some things you need to be thinking about?
And then I began to challenge him. And I said, hey, a couple of things that I think are really helpful. when you're thinking about a business is that you've got to think about being in business is hard. And you need to find something to hold on to, an identity that can't be shaken. because you're going to come across storms and you need to look to something that's going to hold you in the storm.
And I said, for me, I find my identity in the unconditional love of God. Because no matter what I do or no matter what happens to me, I know that that unconditional love of God will never go away. That's where I put my hope. And I didn't tell them, okay, now you have to. I said, now you've got to find your thing that you're going to hold on to that circumstances can't shake.
And then I said a little later, and I said, you know, the other thing is, just the goal of just making as much money as possible isn't enough. Like, that's not a good enough goal. You need to find a purpose. A purpose that is beyond just making money. You know, because I said, because I believe that each of us were put on this planet for a purpose.
And that we are called to find that purpose and live that out. And what I was doing, and I'll talk about that here in a second, is I was challenging the narrative that there is no purpose, that there's no purpose for our bodies, and that there's no purpose of like trying to align ourselves to a transcendent purpose, right?
So again, I was having a spiritual conversation, not a gospel conversation, and I was having a friendship conversation with the guy who had grown up at the church but had rejected it and is walking in a lifestyle in which he believes Christians are his enemy. Right, so this is the kind of approach That we have to take if we're going to engage people in this community. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and we'll continue this lesson from guest teacher Aaron Pierce in a moment. But before we continue, did you know there's a free app that puts years of Bible teaching right in your pocket, searchable by topic, so you can find scriptural wisdom the moment you actually need it? It's all available for you on the Chip Ingram app.
Look up Chip Ingram in your app store and download it today.
Now let's continue today's lesson.
Now, a couple other key things to understand in terms of just When you're engaging the topic, because there are some key assumptions. The key spiritual kind of apologetic assumption that you're challenging essentially is related to purpose. Because the question is: Is there a transcendent universal purpose for sex, marriage, and our bodies? That's the question. Or are marriage and traditional sex ethics a social construct?
that can and perhaps should be abolished for the sake of personal happiness. Like that's the question essentially that we're asking.
Now in the secular world, meaning and purpose is self-defined.
So there is no transcendent designer that has imparted a particular way to live our lives. You know, in this world, you sex, which is now devoid of the consequence of procreation thanks to contraception and abortion, is a personal source of pleasure. and self-expression. governed only by the concept of mutual consent. Like that's the only kind of thing that you've gotta say within.
So, sex in any form or context that does no harm to others. as viewed as the ultimate expression of freedom. And it's kind of this like liberating, unshackling of social constraints that have oppressed our true identities. Like that's that's the worldview that shapes the kind of sexual ethics that we have today. And so you can't be your whole self.
There's a quote I heard in this conversation if you listen to the roles of others. It's kind of the the mindset that you hear.
Now of course, sadly, the consequences of this sexual free-for-all is is a completely different story, right? Loneliness, anxiety, depression are at epidemic levels, especially amongst young adults. Sexual violence has been linked to a copious amount of time viewing increasingly hardcore pornography. and sexual satisfaction is plummeting.
So sexual freedom has instead led to bondage and addiction.
Now in the Christian view, worldview, because here's the paradigm. We don't want to talk about what you can't do. We want to present a positive view of sexuality, a positive vision for sexuality. And in the Christian worldview, we were created intentionally by God. He created our bodies, minds, and souls with a clear purpose and a way to operate them.
as revealed in the Bible that will allow us to thrive. to thrive spiritually, physically, emotionally, and sexually.
So God's design for sex and marriage and our body is not about control. Or limiting our happiness. It's about protecting us from harm and allowing us to thrive. That's why he's created his way of doing things. And this is true in other areas as well.
And this is one of the ways you can kind of make this logical leap. Because the more scientists discover about the body, let's say as it relates to nutrition and exercise, the more we can align ourselves to that truth. Right? Like there's certain foods that we're learning, well, this is not really good for us, so I should stop doing that so I can live in alignment with the truth of how my body was designed to operate. And that is a truth that secular culture will buy into by and large, right?
And it's the same truth as it relates to our sexuality, because what happens is we're trying to approach someone with love. Yeah. and we want to point them to Jesus. But inevitably, you're going to have someone say, well, Is homosexuality a sin? Do you affirm homosexuals?
And dodging that question at that point is just unhelpful.
So what do you do in that moment? Here's how I think you should handle it. First of all, I usually respond, well, do you really want to know? And what I'm begging the question there is, do you really want to hear what I have to say or are you just kind of looking to fight me? And even by asking that question, it makes them go, okay, no, yeah, I do really want to know what you have to say.
And then the second thing I'll say is, okay, well, if you want to understand my view on sexuality, you need to see it in context. And too often we kind of just take it out of context and we don't understand where that all fits in.
So if I'm going to explain it to you, let me give you the context.
So the context here is that I believe that every one of us has incredible value because we were created. By God. that He loves us and knows us and that He created us for a purpose and that because of that, no matter how I live my life, every person deserves to be treated with love and dignity and respect.
So I'm challenging the first narrative already, right, in that. And I'm also giving a basis for human value and dignity that the secular worldview does not have. Right? And then I say and because I believe that we are created by God on purpose, that He created us, like we've talked about, to live in a certain way for our good. That his rules are not about control or limiting our freedom or fun.
It's about he wants, he's like a good dad that wants the best for us. And that when we live in alignment with that, it's how we thrive and how we are healthy.
So my view on sexual ethic fits there.
Now you may not agree with it, but you understand that it doesn't mean I hate people. And that doesn't mean that I want to take away your fun, but I actually want what's best for you. And that is the basis why I believe that sexuality. Is intended between one man and one woman in the context of marriage. That is how it is for our good.
Now that's the context from which I can explain it. They may still be offended, or they may still not like it, but at least they understand the context, right?
So, that is my encouragement: that's the way you can approach that question if it comes up.
Now last thing. It's Jesus first. Sexuality and behavior and discipleship second. The goal here is that we're introducing people to the person of Jesus. And as they get to know Jesus, then the secondary things of their behavior and their sin will be dealt with afterwards.
So, one of the challenges for the LGBT community and secular culture in general, especially those that grew up in the church, is that they have a very legalistic view of Christianity, right? And the LGBTQ in particular believed that to become a Christian, I have to act and behave a certain way first. And that's not true, right? They don't understand God's grace and unconditional love. And what they don't understand is that submitting my sexuality to God's design.
Is a discipleship issue based on trust that God is good? Right, and which means I know him, I trust him, and that his ways are better than my ways. And that until I have an encounter with the living God. Made possible by Jesus' death and resurrection, and I surrender my life to Him. and invite the Holy Spirit to live in me, none of that will make sense.
It doesn't make sense to give up my sexuality unless I know a good God who I trust. and who I will submit to. And so that's why they need to encounter Jesus. And so, as with anyone, the goal is not to convince them to adopt your moral framework, but to introduce them to the person of Jesus. And Jesus is the ultimate answer to the intimacy that we seek.
He's the only one that will satisfy our deepest desire for belonging and acceptance. And when I experience the profound love of Jesus and understand the beauty of who he is and what he has done for me, all that the world has to offer pales in comparison. I love the song, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. That says, turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full into his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.
So rather than focusing on their behavior, focus on introducing them to the person of Jesus. And surrendering their life to Jesus, they are convicted and empowered by the Holy Spirit to make Him Lord of every part of their life, including their sexuality. You're listening to Living on the Edge and a lesson from guest teacher Aaron Pierce called Let's Talk About the Hard Stuff. If you've missed any part of our series called Caring Enough to Connect, don't forget you can always catch it again, whenever it's convenient, by subscribing to the Living on the Edge podcast. Everything Aaron has poured into this series comes together in his study resource called Not Beyond Reach Participants Guide.
Across ten video-based sessions, it carries you across these important topics, starting spiritual conversations, introducing the person of Jesus, and navigating tough subjects with grace and conviction. It's built for small groups, but just as valuable for a parent, a grandparent, or anyone wanting practical tools for reaching more people with Jesus. Each session includes discussion questions and exercises built to push your group past simply talking about these ideas into actually living them out.
So don't wait. Get your copy today by going to livingontheedge.org slash offers.
Somewhere in your life, there's a person who feels unreachable, whether it's a child, a neighbor, or a co-worker. This ministry exists to remind both of you that no one really is beyond God's reach. Teaching like today's only continues to go out to homes like yours because listeners choose, again and again, to stand behind it financially. Wherever you're listening from today, we invite you to support this ministry with a generous gift. just visit us online at livingon the edge.
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Well now here's Chip Ingram with Aaron to close us out. Thanks, Dave.
Well, Aaron, you have wrapped up your series today by pressing I think maybe the biggest hot button issue and conflict between the church and culture there is. This tension between You know, loving and holding to the truth, affirming people, but at the same time, not affirming a moral lifestyle that contradicts what's best for people because God has made it really clear. It reminds me of just the need to be bold and winsome, to be loving. And this message really reminded me of. A lady that I've read some of in the last few years that's been really powerful.
She's such a sharp intellect. Her name is Dr. Rosaria Butterfield, a very outspoken lesbian, and she tells the story. of meeting for dinner with a pastor and his wife, evangelical pastor and his wife. She knew where they stood.
They knew where she stood. And literally, I mean, for, I mean, it sounded like a couple years, like almost every week they would have dinner and they were just friends. And it was a safe place. And she could ask all her questions and they could have disagreements. And she has this great line.
So many people talk about my conversion and the change in my life. And they always want to bring up my homosexuality. Little did people know that homosexuality wasn't the big issue in my life. My sin before a holy God, that was the big issue. It was out of the bridge and the friendship and then the love and the Bible and then the truth and their life.
That brought her where the Spirit of God would reveal to her what she needed was a Savior, and that Savior is Jesus. That's the message of this book, isn't it, Aaron? And it's really that we need to build bridges, we need to love, we need to stand strong on the truth. But we have to do it in a winsome, loving way that accepts people where they're at. Builds a relationship, opens the door to spiritual conversations, and then after that, You have a gospel conversation where we bring them to the point where they realize there's a Savior who loves them and loves us right where we are.
And I just want to say, Aaron, thank you so much for sharing with the Living on the Edge family. And I'd just like to end this whole series by giving you a chance to kind of answer one question: What do you hope that people will get? from listening to this series and from reading the book that we've put together. Thank you, Chip. It's been such an honor and a privilege to be able to do this with you.
And my prayer is that this book. And the series that we're doing together would be would just be a source of hope and encouragement for parents and grandparents and for pastors and youth and young adults that this generation, while often it can feel very challenging, this generation is not beyond reach. And if you'd like to go deeper with everything Aaron has shared with us, look for his book called Not Beyond Reach at livingontheedge.org.
Well that's all for today. Join us next time here on Living on the Edge. Wow. Oh. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.
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