Today I'm Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Shame is a powerful feeling of regret. self-hatred and dishonor. A painful feeling or experience of believing that we're flawed and therefore unworthy of love? or belonging.
Some people ignore it.
Some people are crippled by its weight. What is Jesus' answer to shame? That's today. You don't want to miss it. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
Today, Chip continues our series called The New You, Claiming Your Birthright as a Child of God, tackling one of the most destructive forces in the human heart, shame. Where it comes from, what it does to us, and how Paul's prayer in Ephesians 1 points us to God's answer. Before we dive in, let me remind you that you can always catch up on any program you may have missed by going to livingontheedge.org.
Well now here's Chip Ingram with today's message titled, You Are Competent. The first most important thing is how you see God. The second most important thing about you as a person is what comes into your mind when you think about yourself.
Sort of that collage, that mirror of how you see yourself. There's all kinds of fears that shape us, but there's not just fears that warp our view of ourselves, there's certain feelings. And at the top of the list of the feelings, that probably does more damage to how you see yourself and impacts every relationship and nearly all your behavior. There's a feeling called shame. If you pull out your notes, I want you to get an actual definition.
Shame is a painful feeling of regret. Self-hate. and dishonor. Brene Brown describes it as a painful feeling. or experience of believing that you are flawed.
and therefore unworthy of love. and belonging. It's shame. And that's shame. That does something to you.
Shame is debilitating. Shame marks your life.
Some of you are living in shame right now. with private lives and duplicity. and addictions. Because you medicate And you feel inferior, and you're desperately afraid, like all the rest of us, if someone really knew who the real you was. They'd reject you.
We're going to go to a very sensitive place. Notice in your notes, shame usually results in guilt. And self-depreciation, here's the good news, but it can also lead us to search for God and His answers. I know what I just heard. I just wish sometimes I'd have a video camera and you can see you the way I see you.
After what I just shared, If you could see the faces and the body language, You know what, you would actually feel really good because you would go, wow, I'm not the only one, and I was trying not to show it. Everyone in this room has been deeply marked by shame, some far more than others. In fact, the unhealthy things that happen when that Impacts our life as we have feelings of inferiority often that people never see. Self-destructive behaviors. Within the last 12 hours, I've heard of two specific suicides of people whose life was going well, they lost their job, and they just couldn't face the future.
Self-pity. Passivity.
Some of you haven't taken a risk in so long you can't remember.
Some of you, when we talk about getting in a group or using your gifts, no way, because you're convinced. that you're not competent. that you're fail. and that people will think less of you, just like your parents did, or that teacher did, or your peers did. Withdrawing and hiding is a very common response.
For some of us, we go the other direction. I'm a driven person. I've covered my shame and my inadequacy and my insecurity by being the ultra overachiever. I was the shame of the shortest kid in my class who couldn't make it, and I've been living most of my life. at least apart from Christ, well, I'll show you.
I'll show you what someone really short and really skinny can do if I work harder than everyone else. And that imprint. That imprint. has taken years. to transition and understand I don't need to prove anything to anyone.
I am loved and accepted. by my father. There are some, even in this room, that when you look in the mirror, it's painful because you don't like how you look. And if you're a young woman in our world, you have been so overwhelmed with you're not skinny enough, you're not beautiful enough, you're not smart enough. You're not anything enough.
Girls have never been more successful. GPA, college enrollment, all the rest. and they have never felt more like they don't measure up. Teen depression. Team suicide.
Boys and Girls is off the charts in our day in climbing. And a lot of it is parents. Creating a world that you need to be a super girl or a super guy and have everything together. And if they don't excel at everything, and no matter how much they excel, they're driven to the next level. And all with the good intentions of parents who, quote, want them to be successful.
And when they don't measure up, they feel. Shame. Turn In your notes, and let's get to the answer because shame is powerful and debilitating, but grace is more powerful.
So what's God's antidote to shame? From the first time that shame entered the planet, it happened in a garden. And God has dealt with shame in that first garden, then the way he does now. First, he asks a question to get you and me to be honest. Have you eaten?
Have you done something wrong? Second question: Face your shame. Who told you that you were naked? And then finally, He covers their shame and he forgives. and even repairs and starts a journey of healing.
The Bible's promise is that if any man or if any woman is in Christ, you are a new creation. The old things, literally, the tense, is passed away. They're gone. Behold, it's a process. All things become new.
God's antidote to shame is the gospel. His antidote to shame is that God the Son came and lived a perfect life, died in your place, rose from the dead, and offers healing and restoration. But how does that work? That's easy to say. How does that really work?
And if it's true, why are there so many Christians whose lives don't seem to be that much different or that privately are still living with shame after years and years and years of being a follower of Christ? The Apostle Paul is going to show us exactly why that is and how it can be different. Yeah. In the book of Ephesians, the context is he's reminded that Ephesian church and us. Of this dramatic new standing with God, that we have every spiritual blessing in Christ.
And then, in one long sentence, verses 3 to 14, he said: Memory, you're chosen, you're wanted. He said, You're adopted. You have a father. He said, you're redeemed, you're valuable. You're secure, you've been sealed with the Spirit.
All these amazing things, he says, these things are true of us. And then he does something. Look at verse 15. For this reason, what reason? Since all these things are true of you, The Apostle Paul writes, Ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, Notice how many times he talks about the power of prayer.
I haven't stopped giving thanks for you. Focus on the change and what's happened in your life. Remembering you in my prayers, I keep asking, present tense continually. I keep on asking. That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, here's his request, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation.
The spirit of wisdom is insight. Insight and awareness. It's that aha moment that God would, by his spirit, as we pray for others and pray for ourselves, would take these truths about adoption and about redemption and, oh, this is how it actually applies to me and my history and my shame and my failures. And not only he would give me the spirit of wisdom, but a spirit of revelation. In other words, the word just means that the truth would be unveiled, that you would see it like never before.
And the goal Is that you would know God better? Please put a box around the word no in your notes. There's two primary words in Greek for no. This is one of them. It means an intimate personal experience.
We know by way of personal experience, he's praying that all those truths will come from their head to their heart, so they would know in their soul. in their emotions, that how they would view themselves would completely change. because they begin to actually believe and experience God's my Father. I'm actually wanted. You know, my dad didn't want me, but God does.
I'm actually valuable. I was called a loser, but God says I'm valuable. And those things would go from here to here because we would see God for who he is. You're listening to Living on the Edge, and there's more in just a moment. Did you know you can access every message in this series and hundreds of others completely free anytime at livingonthege.org?
Whether you want to listen again, share a lesson with a friend, or explore additional resources on topics like identity, relationships, or spiritual growth. It's all right there. You'll also find small group materials and practical tools to help you live out what you're learning. It's all waiting for you at livingonthege.org.
Well now let's get back to chip. But that's only the first prayer. Notice the second prayer. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened. You might write above that.
Grammatically, it's actually that the eyes of your heart, having been enlightened, it already occurred. The moment that you receive Christ, the eyes, not just of your intellect, but of your heart, the understanding ability of what God has done in your life, it begins and it's a process. He's praying that the eyes of your heart, having been enlightened, why? In order that you may know, and then he's going to give us three things that you may know. Guess what you should do with the second word no?
Put a box around it. That's right. This is the other word for no. This is a word for facts. Completely objective.
Ironclad. It's data. It's true. Two plus two is four. Equals MC squared.
This is just absolute facts. First, I'm praying for an experiential knowledge of what's true of you. Second, I'm going to pray that three specific facts are true of you that you could go, yes, that's true. Number one, Fact. the hope to which he has called you.
And in your notes, just drop my salvation. And so, as a fact, he wants you to understand and believe. That this calling, this new relationship, It's certain. There's confidence. Your past has been put behind you.
Second. The fact is that the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints. It's a fact.
Now did you notice, earlier we studied, we talked about our inheritance. Put a circle around the word his. Who's it talking about? He wants you to know the fact that not only is your hope absolutely secure, But he wants you to know the riches, the glorious riches of God's inheritance. In you.
What if you believe that, yes, you get an inheritance, but what if it's an absolute fact, the heavenly Father, the Creator of the world goes, you are my treasure. And yes, you have your ups and your downs, and you failed and you've had struggles, and my son is taking care of that. And there's coming a day, not only today, when you change and you grow, and it brings me such joy, and you talk to me, and we get connected, but then there's going to be a final day where you and I, forever and ever. And there'll be no sin, there'll be no shame, and you're my treasure. He says, that's what I want you to believe as a fact.
The third thing is the incomparable great power. Who, for us who believe? And then he describes this power, and he literally takes out his thesaurus because. He just can't communicate clearly enough. The extent of the power that's inside every genuine follower of Christ.
He says that power is like the working of his mighty strength. Which he exerted in Christ. And then he gives us three specific, like, if you want to think about power, I mean, this is like awesome. Let me give you three examples. Of how great, how surpassing his actual power is inside every single believer.
The moment you receive Christ. He says it's the same kind of power that was exerted in Christ when, one, he was raised from the dead. And not only that, but seated at the Father's right hand in the heavenly realms. Where is that? Far above rule, authority, power, and dominion.
In the Jewish mindset, those were sort of these classes of angels and principalities. And every title that can be given. Me in this world or in the world to come. Second, and God placed all things under his feet. That's authority.
He's at the right hand of God. This is the authority. And third, he appointed him, Jesus, to be head over everything of the church. which is his body. Us.
The fullness of him who fills everything in every way. I mean, he's reaching, reaching, reaching. Are you ready for this? This first word that I put in bold power, guess what word we get in English? Dynamite.
It's dunamis. He says, this power that dwells in you when you feel like I can't break through the shame, you know, I can never change, and you know, I can never learn to be patient enough, I'm not a good parent, I'm never gonna, I can't break this addiction. He says, this power is the power like dynamite that has capacity and potential. The second word is working. And we get our word energy.
It's an operational power. It's not just capacity, but it's a kind of power that makes things happen and brings about change. The third word is mighty. And the word mighty here is used to bodily strength or muscular force. And the last word is strength and its power to overcome.
Obstacles, resistance, or control. It's literally the Apostle Paul goes. Do you have any idea? not only who you really are, But what God has actually given you Now here's the question. How do you access that?
How do you access that? to overcome shame. That's where we're going to go. He's going to explain it very, very clearly. And I'm going to take this passage that we just taught.
And I want to now help you see what does this truth look like in your life and mine everyday world. How do we overcome true and false shame? We're living in a day when shame is viewed as a psychological term, and any shame that you have is not your fault. There is true shame. True shame is the kind of shame of your past failures.
Your moral lapses, your greed. Your immorality and mine. Our manipulation, our lies, the way that we use people, stuff that we have done or are doing, we should feel. We should feel a sense of regret. A sense of I blew it, a sense of I don't measure up.
But there's also the shame that's false shame. cultural standards. ones your parents or the culture put on you. Ones even that the church The church has made a lot of people feel shameful. religion in many ways.
Regardless of the background. Has tried to control people through shame and get them to behave in certain ways by shaming them into it.
Well, how do you break through of that? Number one, you receive Christ. We talked about it last week. As many as receive Christ, to them He gives the, what's our word, power. to become children of God, even those who believe in his name.
And just I'm going to pause just for a moment here. In a church like ours that talks a lot about discipleship, that talks a lot about spiritual growth, there is a danger. that you can come here. And you can sit. And you can learn.
And you can think sort of I'm on this gradual journey and I'm kind of putting some of these things into practice. But you even start to agree with what's true, but you've never crossed the line. You have to be born again. There has to be a certain day at a certain time when you say, it's not about me getting some self-improvement with a little Jesus help. I have sinned before a holy God.
I'm in desperate need, but Christ has paid the penalty for my sin. At this moment in time, I'm telling you that I don't measure up. I'm placing all my faith on Christ, and I'm asking you to come into my life to save me, and I want to follow you the rest of my days. If you've never crossed that line, can I encourage you? Today's the day.
Don't let it go by. There is no power, and everything I'm talking about does not apply. To anyone that's outside of Christ. Not because God doesn't want you. It's we kind of want God on our terms.
The second. For those of us in Christ, And you say, well, how do you overcome this true and false shame? Ask the father. And so when Paul is wanting the Ephesians church To live out their faith, what does he do? He prayed.
Then third, We need to believe three historical facts. Fact number one is my past no longer defines me. Right? Verse 18, he said, I want you to know about the hope of your calling. It is certain your past doesn't define you anymore.
In fact, the psalmist put it this way: as far as the east is from the west, so far as he removed. our transgressions from us. For many of you in this room, and for a lot of people watching and listening, I will tell you this. Whether they've been a Christian six months, six years, or six decades, your past still defines you. And part of it is because you've never let that shame come to the surface, been honest about it, and let God work in it.
I have two heroes, I mean, a number of heroes, but two people that are really big heroes in my life that I've gotten to know. One is a lady named Valerie Hill. And another is a lady named Theresa Ingram. I know one a lot better than the other. Valerie Hill had an abortion.
For many years she kept it a secret. Valerie Hill realized it can't be a secret. It was a mistake. A mistake for which he was forgiven. Then she recruited a team, and there are hundreds, thousands of women whose lives are completely different.
Who've been loved and healed? There are thousands of babies that are alive because instead of living in her shame, She said, I'm going to take the shame and God's forgiveness. That's not who I am. I'm his daughter and he wants to turn my shame into his fame. And he's made me a trophy on his mantle.
And because he's given me hope, I can give hope to others. You've been listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled You Are Competent, part of our series called The New You: Claiming Your Birthright as a Child of God. Paul didn't just teach the Ephesians what was true of them in Christ, he prayed it for them, specifically and persistently. He prayed that the eyes of their hearts would be enlightened, that three unshakable facts would move from their heads all the way down into their experience. My past no longer defines me, my future happiness is guaranteed, and I have uncomprehensible power for every challenge I face today.
That's Ephesians 1, and every word of it is true of you. And if you want to walk in those truths every single day, Chip's brand new devotional, Growing Deeper in Christ, a 365-day journey to true discipleship, gives you a daily rhythm to do exactly that. A few minutes in God's Word and one step forward, letting truth move from the page into real life. If you've never given to this ministry before, or if you'd like to join as a monthly partner, we'd love to send you a copy as our thank you gift. Sign up today online at livingonthege.org or call us at 888-333-6003.
And by the way, be sure to find us on Facebook and Instagram by searching for Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and then subscribe to Chip Ingram's YouTube channel. We also encourage you to check out the Living on the Edge podcast, where you can hear complete, full-length messages anytime. You'll find us in your podcast app, so subscribe today.
Well now here's Chip. Before we go any further today. I want to ask you Um Exactly what I asked the people that were in the room when I taught this. I'm not asking you if you're a nice person or whether you're trying to be moral and kind to others. What I want to ask you is, have you ever placed your faith in Christ?
Where you would say to God, Lord, I don't just believe in you in some generic sense or that you're a deity out there or there's some systems and forces at work or there's positive or negative energy, but I believe that you are the creator of all the world and the universe and that you, God the Son, came and lived a perfect life on this planet. And you lived upon the earth and you helped the poor and you spoke words of life and you healed people to reveal and declare what God the Father is really like. And that you and the Father are one and Jesus, what you did was to come and show me what God is like and then to give your life on the cross to pay for my sin. But then you told me that I need to receive that as a free gift. If you have never done that, could I urge you?
The greatest anxiety in the world is what happens after you die. And Jesus says, I want to give you peace. My peace I give to you. And the peace He wants to give you first and foremost is to say, Come to me. just to day, right now.
Call upon me. Ask for my help. Just say, Lord Jesus, I need you. I have sinned. I know I've done things wrong.
Will you forgive all my sins right now? And will you please come into my life? I believe you died in my place. I believe you rose from the dead. And I'm receiving your gift of eternal life right now.
and then thank him. In your heart of hearts, Lord, thank you so much. And so, Lord, I pray, I pray for the courage of my new brothers and sisters who've prayed and asked you for forgiveness. And I thank you that you've granted it in Jesus' name. Amen.
I'm Dave Druy.
Next time, Chip Ingram shows us why so many believers have all the power they need and never use it, and what it actually looks like to activate it and overcome shame for good. That's next time on Living on the Edge. Um Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge. Uh
