Today I'm Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. The entire Christian life is grace. Here's my question, are you experiencing that grace today? Or are you consumed with guilt and shame and failure? I'm here to tell you on the basis of scripture, you don't have to live that way anymore.
You don't. Today, I'll share three specific ways that you can begin to soak in the love and restoration that your soul is craving. Stay with me. In a performance-driven world that constantly tells them they're not enough. What's the one thing your children and grandchildren need most?
Well, it's not more rules, higher standards, or better behavior, it's grace. True transformative grace. Today on Living on the Edge Chipping Room explains why teaching the next generation to live grace-filled lives may be the most critical legacy we can pass on. Through the shocking story of King David's catastrophic failure and his miraculous restoration, we'll discover how to help those you love most. They'll learn to receive God's unconditional love and extend that same grace to others.
Before he starts the message, I'll remind you that Living on the Edge is making headway on the December match. But in order to reach our goal, we're inviting you to join us. We'll share more details about the match later. But right now, let's begin Chip's message titled, Teach Them to Live Grace-Filled Lives. The transferable concept we must pass on to our kids and to our grandkids is this.
Teach them to live. Grace-filled lives. Let me ask you how Do we Pass. this radical, radical concept on to those we care about most. I think the first step is for you to write in your name.
In my notes, it says, I, Chip Ingram, choose to believe that with God, my failure is never final.
Now let's talk about how do you experience that? Let me give you three specific ways. First, encourage them to meditate. on the lives of David and Peter. Murderer?
Adulterer? and betrayer. who are among God's most beloved, and mightily used servants. Did you ever did you ever wonder I mean I mean, some people wonder: is this really God's word? Can you really trust it?
Did God really write this? And I got news for you. No man would ever write. such a self-revealing book and allow the heroes of the story to be so messed up. This is God's dream team.
And we have the audacity to say, well, God could never forgive me. I don't think He could ever use me. Are you kidding? I remember I had not read the Bible growing up. at all.
And I remember, you know, probably after a year or so and dealing with all the stuff that, you know, I had to deal with. Just sort of a naive thought. I thought, you know, I've not killed anybody. I think God could use me. Because so far, the people that are used the most, they've all at least killed someone.
I'm thinking, and how. How much worse could it be than that? And you know, with your Uh kids They're going to fail.
Now, does it mean that there's not consequences for sin? Absolutely not. Does it mean you don't discipline? Absolutely not. And part of that is, we got to tell stories.
We've got to tell the stories of Peter more than walking on the water. and saying you are the Christ. and talk about What goes in a human heart to betray the person who loves you the most? And how did God treat people who blew it that badly? He caused some loving consequences, And he restored and loved.
and use them. I mean, some people think, oh, God could never use me now. I'm thinking. Peter did okay. And I don't think there's a more grievous sin to God than betraying him.
We need to meditate. We need to think about We need to tell not just the Bible stories where they're heroes. But let's peel back some of the layers and talk about where they blew it and and and make it into real life and and talk about that pastor that we all know who fell morally. with a little bit different spirit. and maybe assume that it was a good man in a weak moment.
And maybe talk about, you know, in a weak moment that could be me or that could be you or you when you talk to someone that you're trying to help pass on the things that matter most. Secondly, help them remove the power of secret. Secret is the key word, and condemnation by practicing repentance, James 4, 7 to 10, and confession, James 5, 16, with some mature believers that they can trust. The way the enemy works is this: when you sin, when you blow it big time, When you make a mistake, when you do something you're ashamed of, what happens is we do exactly what David did, we start to cover it up. We don't want anyone to know.
We're embarrassed by it. We don't want the consequences of it. And we cover it up. And then a little secret, and by the way, I will tell you: it's just what the enemy does is then, oh, my lands.
Some of you, you've lived with stuff for years, some with decades. And anytime you start to take a step here or a step here, you don't think God's really going to use you. Don't you remember that hotel room yeah, you were young, but remember that hotel room? I mean, does does what happened if your mate ever found out that it was actually her best friend? And what about when you worked in remember that time in the service and you were overseas?
And you know what and I mean, that starts playing the tape. And then you just cover that back up. and then you push it down. And if the truth were known, probably some depression and physical issues and unresolved conflict has been brewing. for years and years and playing itself out.
God says, I have a remedy. When you take um bacteria. that is growing. And you Take it out of the darkness. and you bring it into sunlight, do you know what happens?
It dies. is bring it to light. And the process of bringing those things into the light are given to us in James 4. It says, Therefore, submit to God. You realize, okay, I submit to you.
And then notice that there's an enemy, resist the devil. And it'll flee from you. You have to say, oh, I'm in Christ. Did I blow it? Yes.
Was it wrong? Yes. Am I ashamed of it? Yes. But I'm going to now bring, I'm going to submit to God.
I'm going to resist the devil. I'm going to quote. Romans 8:1, there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. And then I'm going to draw near to God instead of feeling like I don't deserve Him and I can't come close. And He promises He's going to draw near to me.
Then I'm going to start this process and it'll start with the external things. And it says, Cleanse your hands, you sinners, purify your hearts, you double-minded. And so I'm going to look at the outward things that I've done. And then I'm going to look at the motives of the heart, and then I'm going to allow it to emotionally get down to my gut and to my soul, lament and mourn and weep. I'm going to embrace the emotions and the pain and the grief of what I've done against God.
It's a Psalm 51 moment. Against you and you only have I sinned. God, forgive me. Forgive me. I'm sorry.
And then notice what happens. Turn your morning And your joy to gloom. It's a process. And this is describing humbling yourself in the sight of God. And what's the promise?
He will. He'll lift you up. But until you come clean, until you get the secret out in the open. In fact, later in James 5, until we confess our sins to one another. You don't get healed.
Had a man in our church in um California. And man, it was just like as a pastor, you meet these guys, and he's just a with-it guy, and he was committed. He was driving about 35 or 40 miles to church. I said, Andy, can't you find something a little closer? He goes, Look, I commute 55 minutes to work.
God is speaking to me, He's speaking to my kids. He had like four or five kids, and He said, We are all growing. It's worth the trip. I said, Well, I mean, okay, but I mean, I'm just thinking. There's got to be a church closer for you, and et cetera.
He said, No, no. And I mean, you know, it's just one of those guys where you met him, and boy, he's growing, he's in the scriptures, and pretty soon he's involved in ministry. And, you know, you just dream about this as a pastor. These really solid people who can make a huge difference, and they do, and ministries get built around them, and you become friends with them. And he said, hey, can I get some time with you?
I said, sure. Uh I need to do something. I said, fine.
So we came to my office and grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down. And, you know, he's kind of shaking. I'm going, Andy, what's wrong? He said, the last four months I've been traveling secretly to another city. And I'm thinking, oh man, you know.
I said, so what's going on? He said, well, it's been going on for over 30 years. He's in his mid-forties. He said, it started when I was seven years old, and these magazines would come in. I mean, it was like the Sears catalog.
And You know, I was just a kid, but I found the lingerie section. And it was like a magnet. And then I was about twelve or thirteen and um I don't know, accident or what, but my dad kept Playboys in between the mattresses. And I had a steady eye to those. By the time I was in my late teens, I kind of moved and progressed to some hardcore stuff.
I've never told anyone this. I've been living with this for thirty years. Uh the internet. has been killing me the last decade. There's stuff and access that He said, it's like a thirsty man that I just, I can only go hours without going and logging on the internet.
And the guilt that I've lived with, and the turmoil inside, I can't even explain to anyone.
So I uh I heard about you know one of these um sexual addiction groups, kind of a celebrate recovery type thing in this church about sixty five miles away because I didn't want to do anything near us. And once a week for the last four months, I've been driving there. And I got the secret out in the open. And I I something broke inside of me. And I wept with other men with the same problem.
And I have been clean. Uh now for uh not just this four months, but you know um A pretty good season of time afterwards.
Now I've shared all this with my wife, it was horrendous. But boy do I have a godly woman. And he said, now after this season, I feel like You know, I don't know about the statistics, but Probably 25 to 30 percent of the men in our church are dealing with this in some way. You're doing this series, and I kind of see where you're going, and you're going to talk about sexual purity. With your permission, I'd like to tell my story.
And I've asked my wife to sit on the front row because I need to apologize to her publicly.
Now Don't get me wrong. I really knew this guy and I... We prayed about it and I will never forget. I got to a certain point in the message, and you know, rather than giving an illustration, I said, you know, I just want to stop for a moment. Andy, would you come up?
Super respected in the church. He had a little thing, something he'd like to share. And I just came over here. And Andy told his story. and with tears streaming down his face, He apologised to his wife.
and his kids. And at the end of that, I said, uh You know, we need to Get secrets out. Whoever has an issue like this in your life, Andy's going to be here tonight. And we're going to start some Shoot it straight, small group, sexual addiction. For men.
We launched five groups that night. It multiplied after that. I told this story and had people calling me from all over the country. And all I do is I say, Andy, can I have permission? Because he's gifted organizationally.
I say, can I have permission to just give your name? He's launched now groups all over the country. God has taken his greatest secret and pain and sin. and not only forgiven him, but restored him, and used the thing that was the worst in his life to become the conduit of grace for others. What's your secret?
What is it in your past? Is there something that you'd never want anyone else to know? that needs to come to the surface. That you need to bring to God first and foremost, submit to Him, resist the devil, draw near to God, cleanse your hands, purify your hearts, mourn, humble yourself, and let Him lift you up. And then share that in an appropriate place with a safe person who's very mature, so God could bring healing to you.
and then use it as a redeeming. powerful ministry to others. We'll hear more from Chip Ingram's message in just a moment. First, we're inviting you to multiply your year-end donation through an exciting match that's active right now. Because of the match, your donation will be matched dollar for dollar in the month of December.
And when you support this match, you're not funding yesterday's methods. You're investing in a discipleship strategy that actually reaches the smartphone generation right where they are. Will you give to the next generation? Double the impact of your gift at livingontheedge.org. from his series called Leaving a Legacy That Lasts Forever.
Again, our Bible teacher, Chip Ingram. Do you ever hear the Apostle Paul when he gets real personal in the New Testament? I'm chief among sinners. And God revealed himself to the apostles and also to me as one unworthy. It was his depth of understanding, of owning his stuff.
See, grace doesn't mean much if it's a little word that says, I'm saved by grace. I believe in Jesus. I went to a camp. I raised my hand. I got baptized.
Yippee-doo, yippee-doo.
Now I try and be a good moral person. And in my functional Christianity, I realize there's a big blackboard in the sky. Good deeds, bad deeds. When I do, do, do, do, do, I feel good, good, good. When I bad, bad, bad, bad, I feel bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
So I will try really, really hard. I get really exhausted. I have to hide a number of things. And it doesn't feel really good. I know I'm supposed to be a good guy, but, but, but, but.
That's American and much of Christianity around the world. It is not supernatural. It is not Christianity. It is performance-oriented. It is not grace.
Grace produces powerful Life change. from the inside out. Third, Teach them to refuse to continue living with a performance orientation in their relationship with God. It is and always will be A grace orientation.
Sometimes when we think about grace, it's still hard to kind of get your arms around. There's a lot of Bible words like that, you know? And sometimes a word picture gets it. Here's a word picture. Here's what grace is.
If in your flesh and frailty as a human being. Yeah. make a mistake and you fall into a 10 foot hole. and you're looking up and it's a ten-foot hole and there's no way to get out of this thing. Graces God will extend an 11-foot rope.
with knots on it. and you sit on the little chair at the end. and he'll pull you up out of it. But if you happen to be one of those people that makes even a huge mistake and you drop into a 99 foot hole. And you can barely see the light, and there's no, I mean, there was no way out of the 10-foot hole, but this is, there's not even any hope.
God will drop a 100. Foot rope. with knots in it, with a little wooden thing that you can sit on and he will pull you up. That's what grace is. It is all that you need.
Paul, my Grace. is sufficient for you. Grace extends. A foot beyond. whatever your need is.
Totally apart from your performance. Totally apart from what you could earn, try hard, get back together. If I'm really good, well, maybe then, all that thinking. And I will just tell you, I think it's a very long journey, especially if you're goal-oriented, fairly strategic, happen to be driven, a little OCD. came from a legalistic background.
Can I continue or you got the idea? Let me give you a couple tools. That might be helpful. One for me is I realized it's so deeply embedded in me, my performance orientation. I feel close to God when I'm doing good.
My emotions, I tend not to feel close to God when I'm doing bad. Left to myself, I will think, well, I'll read, I used to be when I was a young Christian, like if I missed a day, I'd have to read that many more chapters to kind of get it back level again. Yeah, you know. But that mentality, I mean, it's so deep in me. And I realized what needed to change was not my behavior, but my thinking.
And so I began to take, these are called desire cards. And I just thought, I'm not going to try and memorize them. I need to learn to think in a new way. And so I began to begin to think of ways that I could begin to think. And reorient my mind around what is true in relationships and with me and with God.
And so I desire to communicate unconditional love and acceptance toward my children, regardless of their performance. I thought, you know, if I could learn how to do it with my kids, maybe I'd get it myself. And then I said, I desire to please God and find my worth and security in Him rather than seeking to please people to get their affirmation in ministry. Because, see, what I realized was, is, you know, if I had a good sermon and people said, oh, that was really good. Oh, good, good, good.
Oh, that wasn't a very good sermon. Oh, really, bad, bad, bad, bad. And I would live like this. Anybody, anybody do that? See, that's a lack of understanding of grace.
And my point is, you can write down what's for you. These are ones I've been, and I just read them over, put them on the bedstand, just read them over. No pressure. I mean, when I first wrote them, I wrote them as goals, Ingram, right? My goal is to be more grace-oriented.
Wait a minute, Ingram, a goal is something you can, it's a desire. My desire is to focus on my faithfulness to God rather than my success in ministry. Just read that over. My desire is to enjoy my relationship with Jesus Christ each and every day. I realized.
I was getting, hey Lord, you know what? Aren't you glad I'm on your team? I get a lot done. I mean, I get a lot done. I mean, hey, give me the ball, I'll run it.
I get a lot done. And it was like, Chip. Lighten up. I want you to enjoy me, and I jotted Psalm 1611. You have made known to me the path of life.
In your presence is fullness of joy. And at your right hand are pleasures forever. To enjoy God. To not get a thing done when you're in his presence always. My desire is to allow my children the freedom to fail to make our home a pressure-free environment.
And they will tell you, Dad, you really need a little bit more work on that, but you're not like you used to be. My desire is to have some good fun once or twice a week, limiting my work hours to 55 or 60 hours. See, part of that performance orientation creates a workaholic. A workaholic works not because he needs to work, he works because he's filling up the holes in his heart to say, I'm really okay. And that's a lack of understanding of grace and my identity in Christ.
So I have to write down: have fun, Chip. Don't feel guilty when you play nine holes. I mean, don't feel guilty when you sit back and, you know, get a Diet Coke and get some sharp cheese and some twiscuits you like, and put your feet up and watch the Dallas Cowboys. And enjoy it. I mean, of course, I need to limit the media, but my lands, like, there's great movies, and there's times to sit back, relax, enjoy, and it brings this balance.
You tracking with me? A final one here is my desire is to worship God for who He is in praise and adoration at least once. every day. I got to the point where when I met with God, it was, okay, let's get something done here. Who do you want me to pray for?
Another tool along with the cards, I didn't used to do this, but what I found is I lied to myself. And I needed to be reminded of God's grace. And this is a super duper like 599 just Little uh Notebook. Whereas I just try and be more honest. And I find when I write it out, it's harder to lie to myself.
and I just got in the habit of writing out what I really think. and what I really feel. And when I'm really mad, and when I'm really afraid. and wherein I'm really hurting. And they often start out Yesterday started poorly, ended well.
It seemed like all of life was pressing against me yesterday. I was angry and disturbed and very frustrated. For a guy like me, That's like you you don't measure up. I mean You know, you need to be in control. I mean, you need to have it together.
I mean, you got to get with the program. And this tool has helped me Just come before God. See, grace always flows downhill. Grace always flows towards humility. Performance.
control Um is always rooted in pride.
Now there's responsibility that's healthy. But some of us feel like we've got to be in control and manage everything and manage outcomes. You can't. And so, God's loving grace for some of us, well, He'll just keep overloading you until you can't handle it.
So that you come to this amazing discovery. I can't handle it. And I think God smiles, goes, well, it took a while, but you know. I've known that from day one. I want to help you.
Oh. Really? Yeah. You can do all things. Through Christ.
Who gives you strength?
So the life message here is you were created. to receive grace. and give grace. He's standing ready with open arms to help us as only God can. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Bible teacher Chip Ingram.
We'll hear a closing comment from Chip in just a moment. This practical five-part series concludes today. To hear any of Chip's messages from this series or to order the companion resources to facilitate personal study, give us a call at 888-333-6003. Or go to livingonthege.org. Look for the series called Leaving a Legacy That Lasts Forever.
Well Chip, although we've been on radio for 30 years, we're finding that young listeners don't tune in this way. Instead, they're using new platforms, and they're asking honest, vulnerable questions. You know, it's our role as parents and grandparents to bolster their confidence in the credibility of the Bible. Young adults today are asking questions their parents never ask. How do I know Christianity is true with so many other religions?
You know, why does the Bible seem to contradict science? Or how can I trust a God who allows such suffering? These aren't rebellious questions. They're honest questions, and they deserve an honest answer, a thoughtful answer. Living on the Edge doesn't shy away from the hard stuff.
You might remember our series, Caring Enough to Confront, where we taught on abortion, politics, the environment, LGBTQ, porn, heterosexual sin. I mean, if they don't hear God's perspective that is winsome and loving and clear and truthful, how do we expect them to follow him? We have to give answers with a spirit of kindness and love, but we have to shoot it straight. And by and large, that has not happened across America. This is where God is called Living on the Edge to step in and both be kind and winsome, but at the same time, tackle controversy.
issues in a way that's clear. that's biblical, that's relevant, and speaks to the heart of young people. When you give to this match, you're helping us get the word of God to a group of people that are in desperate need of truth. But truth that's packaged in a way that says, I get you, I'm for you. Would you explore this with me?
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To respond to Chip Ingram right now, call 888-333-6003. If you prefer to give online, just go to livingonthege.org. You know, many in our audience prefer to send a check in the mail.
Now, you can do that by addressing your envelope to LivingOnTheEdge, PO Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia, 30024. Here's our phone number again, 888-333-6003, or give online at livingonthege.org. Has the pursuit of prosperity worn you out? I'm Dave Druy, urging you to join us when Chip Ingram describes the biblical solution tomorrow on Living on the Edge.
