The late author and Christian psychologist James Dobson once wrote, Our society can be no more stable than the foundation of individual family units upon which it rests. Our government, our institutions, our schools, indeed our way of life are dependent on healthy marriages and loyalty to the vulnerable little children around our feet.
Well, with that in mind, it's clear why we've seen a shocking rise in divorce, sexual sin, rebellion, and discord within our homes. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy your marriage and sever the connection to your kids by any means necessary. I'm Dave Druhy and today on Living on the Edge we'll begin Chip's newest series, Uninvited Guests, Recognizing and Resisting the Attacks on Your Family. Over the next month, Chip identifies the prominent misbeliefs, conflicts, and challenges that threaten to derail your relationship with your spouse and your kids. Stay with us as he provides powerful insights from scripture to help couples strengthen their marriage and empower them to be the parents their kids need them to be.
And let me tell you, this is a series every husband, wife, father, and mother needs to hear.
So let me strongly encourage you to invite a few married friends to listen to, either through livingontheedge.org or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Okay, with that set up, here's Chip to kick off this new series with his message, The Fight for a Godly Family. I remember sitting in a group in an office. It was fairly late at night. There were about seven or eight of us. We're all very, very close.
These are men super committed to Christ. And we begin to share about our families and our journeys.
Some were younger, some were older, some had adult children, some of us have grandchildren. And we began to just share the challenges and the pain and the difficulties and the issues that were happening with some of our adult children or grandchildren. And that struck a chord because these are people that earn God's word on a regular basis. These are people that are committed to doing life God's way. And all of us know the culture has been hostile to a godly family.
And I began to ponder This level of pain, this level of frustration, these issues and these families, Lord, what's going on here? But family's big right now and The last six or seven months, I've had experiences with people that I'm very, very close to, who has a son or daughter that I know who has grown up in a very solid Christian home. And it's been everything from mom and dad, I think I'm gay to mom and dad, I think I'm a girl, but I'm in a boy's body to mom and dad. I don't think I believe in God at all anymore. And then we have a conversation with parents feeling overwhelmingly guilty.
What did we do wrong or what's happened? And how could this happen? And where did it start? I want to talk to you about family, and I'm not Jim Daly, focus on the family. I'm not James Dobson.
I'm not a psychologist. I'm a pastor. And I've been a pastor for over 40 years now. I've got four grown kids, I've got 12 grandkids, and I've seen the whole gamut. And here's what I have to tell you.
I believe we need to address the family. In a new way, I think we've got to address the issues that are happening in a more dynamic way, in a way that I haven't personally in the past. With real focus.
Well, Chip, you know, you've got a series on marriage that works, and you teach Ephesians 5 about the family and men and women. And you have a series called Effective Parenting. And you have another series on experiencing God's dream for your marriage and all those skills about communication, resolving conflict. And if you want some good teaching from us at Living on the Edge, by God's grace, it's helped a lot of people. But there's something amiss.
That the heart behind the kind of things that we see, these symptoms, these struggles, I think something has happened that we haven't recognized. we haven't recognized that We're in a battle. And so often, you know, sometimes I teach something and I've actually said the words. But the light didn't come on for me. You do a series on marriage, you do a series on children, and you do a series on work and relationships.
And, you know, what I've heard myself say is, now you need to understand that all those relationships happen in the context of spiritual warfare. I've said that out loud before. But it's just been recently I realized, oh my, that's where the real battle is. And so it doesn't surprise me when the Apostle Paul talks about, if any man is in Christ, if any woman is in Christ, you're a new creation. The old things pass away.
Behold, all things become new. You're born again. You're born from above. You've turned from darkness. You're in a relationship with God through Christ.
And then walk in a manner worthy. The verse here is Ephesians 4. Walk means to live out day by day. Walk in a manner worthy of your calling. And then in verse 17, it says, now walk no longer like your former manner of life.
We want to go back to the way we used to live. And so he says, instead, you need to cut off the old, you renew your mind, you put on the new. And then he's going to give them practical ways to go into training to do that. And then, chapter five, he says: not only walk worthy of your calling and don't walk in the old ways, walk in love. just as Christ also walked in love.
And then he'll later on say, walk as children of the light. In other words, you live in such a way where your life, your relationships, your family is exposing and spreading and making real what's true. And then finally, verse 15, be very careful how you walk or you live, not as unwise, but as wise. And then he says, making the most of the opportunity, why? The days are evil.
And if Paul thought the days were evil then, think about what he might say now. The days are evil, God wants us to walk. He wants our relationships to work.
So it starts with what? Don't be drunk with wine, but instead be filled or controlled by God's Spirit. Let your relationship with God, with Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit be the central, most important thing. Let that focus your mind around the truth and how to live. And then it goes right from there to what?
This is how marriage works, men. Love your wives the way Jesus loved the church. Ladies. Respond to your husbands the way the church responds to Christ. And then, children?
Obey your parents. This is a blessing. This will help you. And then finally we get what? Spiritual warfare.
So we put on the belt of truth. In other words, there's lies about our relationship with God. There's lies that we're given in our marriage or our parenting or in our work. And then the breastplate of righteousness is living a righteous life. Satan wants to condemn us.
He wants to condemn that we're not living up to and God's down on us. And the shield of faith, we need to have God's word and be able to speak God's word in a way in the midst of our marriages and our home life and identify the truth and the lies and having our feet shod with the gospel is about being grounded and being stable in the midst of a world where there's doubts bombarding us. This passage on spiritual warfare is geared around identifying the lies in every aspect of a family. and then helping you in your relationship with God. And if you're married in your singleness, those that have children How to do that in a way where you identify the lie.
Cast it behind you. Renew your mind. Understand God's truth. Abide in that truth. And what did Jesus promise?
You shall know the truth and the truth will. Set you free. I had a very unusual experience in the last year. I was asked at the local church that I go to, hey, could you help out with the young marrieds? And maybe they could go through your book.
And whenever you're in town, you could teach the class. And so we did that in the fall. We did it in the spring. There's all these young couples, 50, 40 young couples and all kinds of backgrounds, some brand new Christians, some from Christian homes. And I got to sit down around the table.
We would teach and have time around the table, and I would hear what's really going on. And some had brand new little babies, others some older kids, some had been married before. And so we went through and I taught and we got near the end. And the way the book was divided was some of the chapters were very, very short, and we were trying to do a chapter each week. And it just felt a bit redundant.
And so I remember saying, The thing that has helped me the most and helped Teresa the most to break Strongholds and cycles in our lives because we came from alcoholic homes and we had big struggles in our marriages. We developed these truth cards. And on one side of the cards, we would write the lies that we believed and we would learn that lots of other people believed. And then we put a stop sign, then we would flip it over, and then we would tell the truth. I remember at one point in time, we would sit down on the couch every morning for a couple years and review these cards and renew our minds.
And little by little by little, we got God's view. We were learning to recognize lies. And so I took those truth cards, I made them available to the class. The atmosphere changed overnight. They were open before, but when I would read a lie, And it was like.
Oh my. And then I would give him the truth and then I gave him a passage to hang on to. And so here's what this whole series is about. If you're the kind of person that you would say in your heart of hearts, I really want a great family. You're going to have to fight for it.
You're going to have to fight like never before. I shared those stories at the beginning because those people are in God's word every day, in community, on mission, living for Christ, and yet in the midst of all of that, They're having issues in their family they never dreamed would be apart. of their world and their situation. You can be a good Christian, go to church two or three times a month, read the Bible some, be that nice person, encouraging person, a good, nice neighbor. But if you don't identify these lies.
and understand where they come from. and what they do. Your family will be destroyed. because I'm watching it happen over and over again. Again.
These lies and false promises make it impossible for a person called to singleness to have a rich life knowing they're called by God to live in union with him. or to have a deep, rich marriage with ups and downs, but with real connection, real community, real love, and real sacrifice. And these lies make it impossible for children to grow up in a safe, stable, supportive environment. Were they feeling valued? encouraged.
supported where they discovered their unique design. And even more importantly, discover the God who made them and come to a vibrant living relationship with Jesus Christ. These lies are all through the media. Academia. They come from novels.
They come from music. They come from movies. They are bombarding us, even coming inside the church. Good lies like your kids need a great education. Your kids should be active and play sport.
Your kids should really. Be successful because that will help them be happy. There's half truths in all those things. But we have kids and we have parents and we have families that love Jesus with all their heart that have made education. or playing on a sports team.
or success. or money or pleasure, a higher goal and an idol that has undermined the real relationship. We have to come to grips with the reality if 30% of our own children in evangelical churches don't want to follow Jesus, Something is fundamentally wrong. This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and Chip will be back to finish today's message in just a minute. But let me first gently ask you, is your marriage in trouble right now?
Do you and your mate need a practical biblical tool to revive and transform your relationship?
Well, we've developed a brand new resource designed to do just that.
So stick around after the teaching to hear about this practical way we are encouraging couples. Until then, here again is Chip to continue our series, Uninvited Guests. I don't mean this as some indictment on those of you that are walking closely with God, but kids are saying, I grew up in a home. where Christianity was not much more than a moral code. It wasn't much more than we should be nice people.
And yes, my parents sent me to the youth group, and I even went to a Christian school. But there wasn't life, there wasn't vitality, there wasn't risk, there wasn't life change. I didn't see God's power, I didn't see this reality of Jesus. And when I went away to school or to trade school or got out on my own, That Jesus that is sort of nice in this moral code As people were living completely different lives, and they asked me all kinds of questions, and I would begin to ask myself: is this true? And my experience began to say, It's not.
You see, there are lies that have undermined Our culture. our families. What I would like to do in our time together is rather than give you a good teaching on marriage, rather than say, here's seven principles for parenting, here's some great things you can have, I'd like to start with the lies. And help you identify them and then talk about the truth and how to put that truth into practice. And here's what I want you to know: this isn't new.
Right? This isn't new at all, and God is able and ready to break the strongholds that produce division, divorce, and kids without hope. You know, when you pastor as long as I have, I've been on the other side of that counseling desk and heard story after story. Stories of infidelity Stories of I just fell out of love. Stories like we grew apart.
Stories like, we did the very best for our kids, and I don't understand it. They don't even believe in God anymore. We can't even have a conversation. All we do is argue about politics. I've been on the other side of that and I'm watching what it does to families.
We need a different approach. We need to understand that there is something very, very sacred to God. It is the most fundamental unit of every society, every culture, every community. As someone wisely said, as the family goes, so goes the nation. Transformation in the families today.
need to start, I think, with a surgical knife of truth. that cut through the lies of the culture. Help us identify some of these things that some of us, are you ready? You are actually doing things with the most sincere intentions, thinking you are really helping your kids. You want your kids to get ahead.
You want your kids to prosper. And the very thing that you're doing for your kids is destroying their relationship with God and their family. Let that sink in. See, the most dangerous lies are the ones that you believe to the point where you think it's good. Just because I have good intentions, just because I have good motives, it doesn't mean that the outcomes won't be just as devastating.
I want to help you to uncover the things that you actually believe. that are false. that are undermining that which you hold dear. And by the way, I'm with you in this. I've believed plenty of lies.
I've pushed in early years my kids way too hard thinking that they've got to be disciplined to be successful and they need to learn this and learn that.
So this isn't about I've got it together and I want to tell you this is how to do it. You're talking to someone that's got 40 years as a pastor and kids that are grown and some grandkids that are grown and is on the journey with you. Our families are in trouble when some of my closest, most godly friends are having struggles and seeing things happen in their family. I think it's time to stop and say, God I really want to have a great family. And I'm willing to pay the price.
I'm willing to listen. I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to swim upstream. I'm willing to do whatever God wants me to do because here's the deal. I'm old enough now to realize the people that are happiest.
The people who have a real sense of reward, it's not how big a house they had, not whether they went public, not whether they got famous. Every family relationship flows out of your relationship with God. It's the people that have deep, deep relationships, that have adult kids that want to be around them, that see a lineage of people that are walking and growing and people of integrity, and they're at peace with themselves. Every family has issues. I mean, pull back the curtain to my life, your life.
Anyone that maybe a spiritual leader, a pastor, someone you admire, you pull back the curtain. I'm just going to tell you. They've got issues just like you and just like me. I'm not talking about developing some cookie cutter, perfect families, we're talking about real. Authentic love, where it covers a multitude of sins, where we look back on our pain and how we persevere and how we recognize what we have done wrong, apologize to one another, forgive one another, and experience the mercy and the grace and the love of God.
I'm not sure there's anything that is a greater testimony to the world, right? Jesus said, Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven. I think the greatest good works we could ever have in the world that we're living in It's people that have been married five years and they're deeply in love. 25 years deeply in love. 45 years and deeply in love.
17 years lost a child, weathered through it, deeply in love. 22 years, empty nest, and they realize they need to reconnect and they persevere and they're deeply in love. Kids that grow up and don't have it all together, but honor their parents, want to walk with God. have a sense of responsibility and clear calling, purpose and life and meaning. You talk about good works.
Few things will be more important. to show the world the love of Christ. than marriages that reflect Jesus? in his church. This is not new.
Some of you know the Bible pretty well. Others, you'll need to go to Genesis chapter 3, and maybe the first few chapters you may want to read it. But think about a perfect environment, a loving God who's created the first human beings. The one test is don't eat from that tree. And then the enemy comes and where does he start with a lie?
The lie is what? If you eat this, you won't die. Had a half-truth. You won't physically die. but you'll be separated from God.
And he cast doubt on God's character. God doesn't have your best in mind. If you do life God's way, you're going to miss out. That was the message. And so there's disobedience.
And then after the disobedience, not only is there a break of relationship with God, then we have our very first parents blaming and naming. It was her fault. No, it was his fault. No, it's your fault, God. You're the one that made this place.
And then pretty soon there's not just division, but then there's hostility. And there's envy. And so we have the first murder. Satan lies about a relationship with God. Produces animosity in the relationship, then has siblings who literally one kills the other, and then creates a world of violence and death.
So much so that by Genesis chapter 9, God says, the violence is so great, I've had enough. And we have the flood. And then we have this new generation. and God's promise in the sky. And then this tower gets built and the enemy takes technology and the amazing dignity and beauty of mankind and they build a tower to make our name great into the heavens and God frustrates their languages.
Here's all I want you to know. The enemy had a lie about God, he had a lie about marriage. He gave a lie about children. He gave a lie about what makes communities work. And he gave a lie about the work of our hands in technology.
And it's been going on ever since. We're going to spend The next month. identifying some lies. in our marriages, in our parenting. and in the culture around us.
to live in the power of the Holy Spirit. that we can have the kind of families that we long for. and that Jesus wants us to have. for his glory. and to show the world around us that there is hope.
because they are hurting. And he's the answer. He says, you're my method. Are you ready? I hope you join me for the whole series.
This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to Chip's message: The Fight for a Godly Family. From our series, Uninvited Guests, Recognizing and Resisting the Attacks on Your Family. Picture this: you're at a lively party or a delightful family reunion when, out of nowhere, an uninvited person barges in. creating chaos and dysfunction, spoiling the celebration for everyone. In the upcoming programs, Chip reveals how we've allowed dangerous misbeliefs and ideologies to trespass into our homes.
Learn how, since the Garden of Eden, these intruders have fueled conflict in marriages, damaged relationships, and undermined the very foundation of the family. Join Chip as he exposes the biggest lies couples have believed and challenges us to renew our minds with the life-giving truth of God's Word. You won't want to miss a single message.
Well, Chip's here in studio with me now, and Chip, as you sifted through all the research about marriage and parenting for this series, there was one myth that came up a lot. With all of this conflict in our marriage, it's better for our kids if we just get divorced. Dave, that is one of the most believed myths about marriage. That old school thinking of we're staying together just for the kids is actually true. If there's challenges, struggle, argument, Kids will make it through.
They're very resilient.
Now, here's the problem: people don't want to stay together. When it gets really hard, how do you resolve conflict? How do you learn to communicate? There are so many good Christians who are living like roommates now. Their marriage isn't fulfilling.
They want to stay together for their kids, but they can't imagine living the way they are forever and ever and ever. And so they feel hopeless. Here's what I want to say: you can work this out. and we have a tool to help you. Marriage that works truth cards is a beginning step To resolve some big pains in your marriage and create an environment that your kids can thrive in.
We really want to help you learn to communicate, to resolve conflict. That begins with eliminating or addressing lies that you believe. And then you have to have some foundational truths. And if you'll review a few of these every single day for 30 days, 60 days, your thinking will change, your words will change, and your marriage will change. Don't throw away.
A good marriage or even a problem marriage because of your present struggles. If you think that there's an easy divorce and it doesn't impact your kids, you're completely wrong. The impact goes on for decades. Let's stay together. Let's obey God's commands, and we want to help you.
So, Dave, take a minute and share with people how they can get these cards. Sure, Chip. It's actually really simple. Throughout this entire series, for anyone who chooses to become a monthly partner with Living on the Edge, we'll send you these new Marriage That Works truth cards as our way of saying thanks.
So, please pray about supporting us. Your gifts have an eternal impact as we fight for marriages and families everywhere. To learn how to become a monthly partner, visit livingonthege.org or call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003, or go to livingonthege.org. Applist Nurse Tap Donate.
Well, join us next time as Chip continues his newest series, Uninvited Guests, Recognizing and Resisting the Attacks on Your Family. Until then, I'm Dave Druy, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.
