Do you remember that old Beatles song, All You Need Is Love? Remember, All You Need Is Love. Ba ba ba ba bum. Guess what? A lot of people criticize the Beagles, but they got it right on that one.
And we're going to talk about how to get out of the performance trap and get down to what really matters, learning that all you really need is love. That's today. Thank you for being with us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Chip serves as our Bible teacher for this global teaching and discipleship ministry, helping Christians develop an authentic faith.
Well, in just a minute, we'll continue our series, Spiritual Simplicity, Doing Less, Loving More. But before Chip gets started, if this is your first time listening to Living on the Edge or you're curious about what we are and what we do, visit livingonthege.org. You'll discover a wealth of valuable tools we've created to equip you in your walk with Jesus.
So check out livingontheedge.org today.
Well with that, Kerrigan is Chip with part two of his talk, All You Need Is Love, from 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Many of us live very hurried, Overextended, complex lives. with shallow superficial relationships even with our closest friends and families because we have unconsciously learned to believe. Performing well. possessing much and providing stuff.
is what life is all about. Your value as a person, your significance. You got to perform well. Who you are, what you do, what people think. has to do with Possessing.
stuff.
Some of it's intangible and some of it is very tangible. How you doing with this? Boy, it's quiet in here, isn't it? And this isn't, you know what? This is...
You don't get a free pass on this because you're a pastor. As I've looked at my DNA and my schedule, and when I look at the list of not what I say, but the list of what does my behavior say, what does my schedule scream, where does my money go? I feel like there's a constant battle of fighting against this belief system. That possessing Performing. And even the altruistic I'm going to provide for.
Can get me going at a pace. That isn't good for my soul. It isn't good for my marriage. And is it good for my parenting or grandparenting? And it kills friendships.
So if that's the diagnosis, what would the doctor say? What would the simplify your life doctor say? Here's a prescription for transformation. Three things he would say. He gets his little pad out.
You know, put your shirt back on. I'll be right back in just a second. Little prescription pads coming out. Number one. The secret to simplifying your life.
is focus.
Now, this isn't earth-shattering, is it? You're trying to do too much. Oh, you're trying to accomplish too much. Oh, you're trying to get your kids involved in too much. Oh, you need to do less.
But do it better, deeper, more relational. But you need to do the things that matter most. Oh, okay. Knowing that we've all done that and tried that, and it lasts for two days to two weeks, depending on our personalities. Rx number two.
You can only do less. when you purpose to love more. This for me is the biggest aha of this series and this message. I have tried many, many times. To tweak my schedule, right?
I'll do a little less of this, a little less of that. And I already, I go to bed early, I get up real early. I mean, I've read time management books like you all have. I do my A's first before I do my B's and I do my C's. I do know how to multitask.
And I'm one very intense person. And yet I watch it just multiply, multiply, multiply until different seasons of my life, I feel like I've got the seven plates spinning or juggling the balls. And then somehow, well, that can lay there for a couple minutes and it'll give my attention over here. Oh, that's my marriage. It can't lay there very long.
And what you've done it, right? If just tweaking things was about intelligence, I'm talking to a really smart group of people who you would have figured that out by now. This is a lifestyle issue. This is a mindset issue. And this pressure and this demand has us going all these different directions and then sedating our pain and our loneliness.
With videos and technology, And food. and unhealth. And that's why we have so many addiction issues. Because right before people get ready to crack, they just find a substitute to make them feel better. I was in the South African afterwards went to Zimbabwe.
and I have to visit orphans. And it was, yes, we want to help the orphans. And my wife and I have been financially supporting a ministry we really believe in. But it great. It wasn't, am I going to check it out?
I knew it was going to be good before I got there. What I knew was At the pace that I live with the new things that I've taken on, unless I look into the eyes of little orphan kids who live in shacks. And unless I feel their pain and see what the third world is like, I will just go faster and faster and try and do things bigger and better and faster and more, bigger and better and faster and more. And just because they're spiritual, they can make your life just as crazy. And so I remember in Zimbabwe, it was the second home.
I'd been doing some teaching, and our group visited a couple different homes. And they have a gated place, and you go into the home, and they have like eight or ten girls, and an auntie, and a grandmother, and they teach them the Bible, and they get a good meal. And we went in the back, and they're teaching the garden to feed them, and they had a chicken run where they're raising chickens for their food. But I got out of the car, and this little girl, in fact, she was about this tall, so she's a little heavier than I'd hoped, she just walked up to me like this and went, So I got her and I put her on my hip, and we walked around for a while, and she seemed to really enjoy that, and it was kind of like. We're going to go to the back.
Do you want to walk? And I'm thinking, my back says it'd be nice if you walked. And and and she just put her arms around me, no. I said, Well, what's your name? She goes, Blessing.
I thought that's interesting. And so we went around back, and she was on my hip for about 25 or 30 minutes. Actually, I had to change hips. And then we had a little girl that was 13 years old that was taken off the streets when she was about five. And you don't know what it's like for a little girl in Zimbabwe or around the world in these countries.
that are on the streets with no parent at five, six, four, seven. Just let your imagination go and it's a little bit worse than that. And this little girl, after now four and a half years, five years in this home. was amazingly articulate. and not only amazingly articulate, but she began to talk about Not just parroting verses that she'd memorized.
I have a relationship with Jesus now. I get to eat every day. But the most important thing is, and she looked up because a pastor comes like every other day there along with the auntie and the grandmother. She says, I have a family. And I'm loved.
And she just beamed. And I just thought, you know, I just sat and I thought, with blessed on my hip. These kids Possess what so many of us are chasing after. You know what? They're not taking drugs to fall asleep at night.
They're not wondering how to balance 75 to-dos. The simplicity of their life. I love God. I love these people. They love me.
We want to help others in the way that we've been helped. And I just thought That is a blessing. And what I realized for me was the only way, this was a big haha, I've tried to do less. But other stuff creeps in, right? There's always that great opportunity, and it always comes with: here's a great opportunity.
It's right down the middle of the plate. And by the way, this great opportunity is only going to come now. And if you don't swing at it right now, your kids are going to miss it, or you're going to miss it, or the business is going to miss it. And it's strategic and it's great. And you can do this and you can add it to your schedule.
You're not going to take anything off, but you're going to mentally say, act like you are. And so one more thing gets on there, right? And I just realized my no isn't strong enough to keep stuff off my plate. Until I have a lot stronger yes. How did I have two weeks?
To go be with orphans. And when I was with them, And it was with these pastors and when I saw the third world, Afresh All of a sudden, some of the stuff that felt so demanding, and some of the people and things I needed to say no to, it's easy to say no to. to doing less. when you're saying yes to loving more. The third Rx.
is begin to redefine success. Begin to redefine success from how did I do? That's a performance question. Mom, how did I do? Dad, how did I do?
Teacher, how did I do? Coach, how did I do? Corporate earnings, how did I do? Change that to who am I becoming? You might write above the question, How did I do performance?
Then put an arrow, who am I becoming? That's a character question. What do I have? That's possessions. Put an arrow from that and move it to how am I using it.
Not what do I have, how am I using it? That's a, you move from possessions to stewardship. And the third question is: how much do I give? What if you change that question to why do I give?
So it goes from providing To motive. What we have before us is one of the greatest Chapters. in all of biblical history. But I want to tell you that the Apostle Paul did not sit down one day and say, you know something? I would like to write a literary masterpiece.
I'd like to write something that people, whether they were Christians or non-Christians, all over the world, when there is ever a wedding, they would read this. I want to provide something for people who love to decoupage. I want plaques to be filled in future Christian stores all over the world. I want it to be put with. Little lists of poems.
You know, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Apostle Paul. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, yet have not love, right? If I prophesy. You know, he was not trying to do that. In fact, what you're going to find Is we're going to spend our time and we're going to walk through this.
He doesn't even define love in 1 Corinthians 13. He gives us 15 descriptions of love. Beginning at verse four. And in the 15 descriptions, I'll show you a little bit later. He takes.
At least 15 of their dysfunctional, hurtful, bad. Superficial relational fallout behaviors, and every one of these things is a corrective so that they will be loving in their relationships. This is a very practical chapter. He's talking about instead of suing one another, here's how you do. Instead of feeling hurt, and rejected, and betrayed, and gossiping about people, here's what you do.
Instead of living this way, here's what you do. Instead of shacking up with your mother-in-law and being sexually immoral, here's what you do. I mean, this church had major problems. But if we're going to love more, the danger is that we will think that love is a ooey gooey feeling. And now I have I feel better, God.
I had 17.5 seconds of ooey gooey feelings with my wife and 11.7 seconds of ooey gooey feelings with one of my kids, where I'm a single person and I had coffee. And we had a deep talk. And I feel better.
Now all those things may be good. But here's the question: if simplifying your life never works by just saying you're going to do less. But the secret is loving more. The fundamental question is, what is love and how do you practice it? What does it really mean to be loving?
And I'm going to get us started, and we're going to start real small, and we're going to learn to start loving. What love really is, not an emotion. Not a good feeling. But a choice to treat other people in a way that you don't have the power apart from God giving it to you. But we're going to learn to love other people.
And I want you to start with those closest to you. Family, friends, spouse. Irritating in-laws. And so notice what he says. Verse 4: Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it's not proud. Just underline: love is patient, love is kind. That's all I'm going to cover today. We're going to take one baby step toward how to become more loving people because as your love will get deeper and deeper and practical this week, You will gravitate and spend energy and time there, and you'll start doing less and loving more. Bye.
You're listening to Living on the Edge. We'll get you back to today's program in just a second. But first, did you know that other believers are paramount to your faith journey? Keep listening after this message as Chip explains why and highlights some resources we have to get you into authentic community today. Stick around to learn more.
But for now, here again is Chip. Love is patient. The word is macro thumus. Macro meaning broad or to spread out. Thumus has the idea of passion.
Some translators say it is to have a long, long suffering. The idea is only used, it's not in reference to being patient with circumstances. This word has to do with being patient with people. This is when someone says a little remark that hurts your feelings, and so you shut down and turn on the remote. This is someone who, you know, you wanted to be romantic on a certain evening and you got turned down, so you decide, you know what, I'm just not going to respond to her or him.
This is that little comment that your parents make and you just say, well, forget it. I'm going to shut my door and video game. This is someone at school who says something to you to hurt your feelings and you just find yourself telling another friend what a jerk and how she's stuck up and who does he think he is. This is a different way to respond to hurt. Basically, love is patient, love is kind.
He's addressing the same issue, it's one coin. The issue is this, and write this down. How do I respond when people hurt me? And you don't have to be in the church long to know you're going to get hurt. And we hurt one another and families.
And we hurt one another in friends, and we hurt one another in ball teams, and we hurt one another in business. How do you respond when a word, or an action, or a neglect, or someone doesn't invite you? Or someone says something about you, how do you respond when there's a little hurt or a wound? My reaction is, I'm going to do it back. Or I'll passive aggressively say, did you hear what he did to me?
Or she did that, therefore, you know, some of you. We'll lash out with your words.
Some of you will pay back later.
Some of you will pass aggressively, leak and be sarcastic.
Some of you will cut your parents off. This passage says you want to learn to become loving. Here's what it says. Love is patient, then the word kind is only used in this form in the New Testament. And it's giving a undeserved response of goodness, winsomeness, and encouragement to the person who's wounded you.
Love absorbs the blow. and returns a hug. And it says You don't deserve this, and I can't give it in my strength. But you said that to me and it hurt my feeling. I'm gonna go to the bedroom and I'm gonna forgive you and I'm gonna think about how I could affirm and encourage you because most people who hurt you It usually comes out of a wound in their own life Can you imagine what's gonna happen in relationships if that's all we do?
Love absorbs the blow. and gives a hug.
Now, some of you have some historic situations, and there's some abuse situations and issues that you have kind of in background. And this does not mean that, you know, you go home now and say that, you know, the father that abused you sexually. You know, do you think we could form a meeting? I learned from God I'm supposed to hug you? No, no, no, no, okay?
Let's not oversimplify. issues and boundaries But let's just start with the everyday relationships of where we live in our homes or in our apartments with roommates and at work and our neighborhood and let's say what would happen. If we absorb the blow like a pillow. And we returned a hug. It's really what Jesus did, isn't it?
When he was on the cross, He was hurt. Rejected. Beaten. And it wasn't just by those people, it was by our sin. And what would he do?
He absorbed the blow. Into your hands, Lord, I commit my spirit. And then he died. He rose from the dead. And his father forgive him.
He was kind. He loved. And we're going to learn, you know what that does? It never fails. It's powerful.
This is supernaturally responding to evil. with good. This is just normal for God's people. And so let me give you a little assignment. What does your life and schedule indicate you want to be known for?
That would be a real honest one to answer, wouldn't it? Second, what's the biggest barrier to you slowing down and simplifying your life? Chop that down. Have coffee and talk with someone that you can trust that's safe over that one. Third, how can you begin to be more loving this week and with whom?
Let's just get it to one person. Just as you're thinking right now, write someone's name down. Who is it that has a little wound, a little hurt, a little dissing, you feel a little rejection? Who could you just absorb the blow, forgive them? And give em a.
A hug of some sorts. Might be a note. Might be a word of encouragement. Might be bringing something up and telling him you forgive him. I don't know what it is.
God will show you. And then here, finally, why is it so critical to understand? How much God loves you in order to become more loving. See, your first assignment, are you ready? Your first assignment is not go be more patient and kind and loving.
Your first assignment is to let God do that for you.
Some of us, the reason it's so hard to love is we don't let God love us. When we mess up, we beat ourselves up, we feel condemned, I'll try harder. Yesterday, I did one of the dumbest moves in my car probably in the last 10 years, and I got in the wrong lane, and then I cut over about two and a half lanes. to make a freeway exit. And as I pulled through, and I kind of had it, but I did it too fast, I did it too quick, and then I didn't see it, and a guy was out in the crosswalk.
And he got by, and I just. Because I was in a hurry. I mean, I just thought, and then it was real quiet. Teresa looked at me like, oh my, and she should have just. wailed on me.
And I finally said, are you okay? She goes, yeah. She goes, you know, you almost hit that guy. I said, I know it. And then I thought of How my whole life could be different because of a hurried, stupid, foolish act.
And then I started on this journey of, you know, Chip, you know, you're not this, you're not this, you're not this, you're not this. And because of this message, instead, I just stopped. I said, you know, God, Thank you for not giving me the consequences I may have deserved. And for that man, I just totally blew it. Father, I'm so sorry.
I want to remember you're patient with me. I'm going to receive your forgiveness right now. And for some of you, you'll never be patient with others. Until you let God be that for you. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and the message you just heard, All You Need Is Love, is from our series, Spiritual Simplicity.
Chip will join us in studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Most of us live very hectic lives, moving too fast, demanding too much, and delivering too little. If you're desperate for an alternative that actually works, then this study is for you. Chip's teaching will help you escape this destructive pattern and reveal how to better prioritize what matters most and love others in a fresh, revolutionary way. If you've missed any part of this series, catch up anytime through the Chip Ingram app.
Well, Chip's back with me in studio, and Chip, in this series, we're learning what it means to do less and love more. And a practical way we can do that is by being part of a genuine community of believers. Take a minute, if you would, and explain why that's an essential part of our Christian walk.
Well, Dave, I'll tell you. I don't want to oversimplify, but Jesus said, I came that you might have life. And have it more abundantly. At the heart of the Christian life, it's allowing Jesus to live his life through you by the power of the Holy Spirit, rooted in the Word of God in the context of community. And that little word bio means life.
And so I've just taken that acronym here at Living on the Edge and it simplifies it for me. If you want the life of Christ lived out, it means B, you have to get before God daily and before Him with other people weekly in worship. The I is for in community. You have to do life with people heart to heart, face to face, and the O is on mission 24-7. What I've seen so much is people have lost the in-community aspect.
It's impossible to obey the Word of God to experience life by yourself.
So what we've done is we've put all of our small group resources on sale to encourage you to get in community, get with a group of people. Watch the videos on your own, then discuss them. Do it live, do it online, do it however it works best, but take the next step, get in community. You'll never regret it. Thanks, Chip.
Well, we have a growing library of small group resources on a wide range of topics, and they're so easy to use. Chip provides the teaching, then you'll have time to discuss what you've heard alongside our helpful study guides. We also offer some insights for leaders to effectively lead their groups. If you're not in a small group yet or looking for your next topic to study, check out our resources. And as Chip said, for a limited time, we've discounted all of our small group resources so you can get into community today.
To learn more, go to livingonthege.org or call us at 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003 or livingontheedge.org. App Listeners tap special offers.
Well, with that, Chip, let's get to your application. we promised. Thanks, Dave. You know, as we close today's program, It brought to my mind the story that I told at the very end of today's broadcast where I'm just going to be honest with you. Earlier in my life, and it's not all that long ago, I mean, I was that person that was always looking for which lane, you know, is moving faster, and I'd go to that lane and that lane.
In that story, I don't know why, but I was in a real hurry and I moved from lane to lane to lane and I looked one way, then the other, and then I started to pull out. And, you know, the guy had a, you know, the little white sign that says he can walk. And he was walking and I looked up and I mean, I slammed on the brakes and my heart stopped. I came within about a foot of hitting that guy and I would have not hit him a little. It would have been really, really bad.
And I remember the emotion just as I rethink that in my mind and the look that I got from Teresa and realized, I mean, my whole life or that guy's life. could be completely different. if I would have hit him. And praise God, I didn't. But what it hit at my heart was: Chip, why are you in such a hurry?
Where are you going? That's so much more important than everyone else. And this series was birthed some time ago. And I just want to tell you, because sometimes, you know, we all hear a message or we hear a series, and you know, we move on and we make some small applications, but you need to look back a year or two, and not that much changed. I have to tell you, I studied this passage and got new insights from 1 Corinthians 13, and it started a transformation in my life.
And the transformation was to slow down. I remember Dallas Willard talking about how How impossible it is to grow spiritually and to grow deep if you're in a hurry. John Mark Comer later wrote a book built much off of what Dallas Willard and John Oortberg had written about ruthlessly eliminating hurry from your life. But here's what I want to say to you. You're never gonna love more.
Unless you slow down. And one of my practices was when I went to the grocery store And I did this for like six months. I got in the longest line. When I got in traffic, I did this for actually almost two years. I had to break my addiction.
I drove in the right-hand lane. It was painful. And I just thought, you know, I guess I'm going to go the speed limit and stay here. And if there was a super slow car, I'd go around it and then get back in that right lane. And what I found is my stress went down.
I had time to think. I wasn't in a hurry. I'm going to ask you to day, just this week, for the next seven days, would you be willing to drive? in the right hand lane. and not go fast.
Just this week, if you don't like that one, would you be willing when you go to the grocery store, how about this? Not the shortest line or not the longest line, how about the middle line, and refuse to look back and forth to see which one's moving the fastest. and relax in that line and refuse to pull out your phone and try and accomplish something. you might find that if you become present with where you are, and you slow down your life, you will start to experience the very things that God wants most for you. Love.
Great word, Chip. And as we close, I want you to know that as a staff, we ask the Lord to help you take whatever your next faith step is. And we'd love to hear how it's going. Would you take a minute and send us a quick note or give us a call? Either one is easy.
Email us at chip at livingonthege.org or call 888-333-6003. That's 888-333-6003 or email chip at livingonthege.org. We can't wait to hear from you. For Chip and the entire team here, this is Dave Druy, thanking you for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge, and I hope you'll join us again next time.
