Do you know someone that has an addiction, alcohol, drugs, eating disorder, and they were doing so well and then they fell off the wagon? How do you keep from falling into temptation? How do we keep? from falling into the very thing that we know we don't want to do. but find ourselves repeatedly failing.
The answer to that is today. Mm-hmm. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. We are an international teaching and discipleship ministry motivating Christians to live like Christians. We're in the middle of our series, Balancing Life's Demands.
Hope Chip's words have challenged you to refocus and reprioritize your life on what matters most. And to help others experience a more joyful and peaceful life, take a minute after the message and share it with someone. You can do that through the Chip Ingram app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks for passing on what you're learning through this series.
Well, with that, let's join Chip now for the second half of his talk, How to Keep First Things First. How can some of the most committed, gifted people in all the body of Christ, both in Bible times and our times, how in the world can you get off track? And hopefully in your heart of hearts you're saying, I don't ever want to get off the track, and I don't know how I could get off of track. But gosh, if Paul thinks he could get off track, and if all those people, the nation of Israel got off track, and some people that were my heroes got off track, I guess I could. But how?
I mean, what happens? You and I underestimate the power of our own sinful passions. Paul will pick up the story after reaching in and giving us his spiritual view of those children of Israel. In verse 6 through 11, he explains: Now these things happened as examples or a type. For us.
Those things he just talked about. But we should not crave evil things as they craved. And do not be idolaters as some of them were, as it is written, the people sat down to eat and drink and stood up to play. Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did. and twenty three thousand fell in one day.
Nor let us try the Lord, or test the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer.
Now these things happen to them as notice the repetition An example, and they are written for our instruction upon which. The ends of the ages have come. I want you to circle the word example, first line and then the last. I want you to realize his point is: I'm making the example.
Now, if we had a lot more time, and for some of you that really love to do Bible study, did you notice a lot of these phrases? He is, I mean, he's pulling out the whole big stories of the Old Testament, right? And so, here, let me do some quick Bible study with you. Just, okay, I want you to put a. A line under Crave Evil Things.
It was what he's saying is There are passions. In fact, it's an intensive form. There's a word for cravings or lusts or passions. This has a prefix. It's an intensified form.
So he's saying they had supercharged lusts and passions and drives. that they fulfilled outside. of God's plan. And then he goes on to say, put a box around the word idolaters. At the heart, always at the heart.
Of us falling away from the living God is we make someone or something the idol or the God in His place. And guess what? It can be your mate. Are you ready? It can be your ministry.
Yes, it can be your money. It can be a car, it can be another woman, another man. But anything or anyone that takes the rightful place of your loyalty and allegiance is an idol. He's saying, We have passions, we have drives, we're tempted in the world to satisfy them in different ways. And so, what's he say?
He says, They come out as idolaters, as some of them did. Then notice he's going to I'm going to ask you to put a Gosh, have we done lines? We've done s boxes? Let me give you three more boxes because I don't know whether we ought to do lines, circles, or boxes. But when he says, nor let us act immorally, we would have put a box around act immorally.
That's the lust of the flesh. Skip down and put, it's hard to put a box around, but try or test the Lord. He's talking about the story of the envy of Moses. That's the lust of the eyes. And then put a box around the word grumble.
That's the pride of life. We want that power. And all I'm telling you is, this is just so basic, and he's given us this picture. He says, You constantly underestimate the power of your own sinful passions. I don't care how much Bible, how long you've been a Christian, on certain days at a certain time, you have these desires in different windows and different seasons, and it can be difficulty or loneliness or travel or pain or sickness or some unresolved anger or an injustice.
And in that window of time, you know, maybe only one out of a hundred thousand times you would act on that lustful, sinful passion. But he says, you better understand that you, David, and everybody else. You can fall off and make mistakes that you'd regret the rest of your life. But it's an amazing thing, is when we know there's going to be, my behavior is going to be brought into the light. It really helps me not go into the darkness.
I mean, when you know, there's, and you're not going to pretend, you're not going to fake it. In fact, I made a note to myself: did you ever wonder why so much sin occurs late at night? and away from people.
So much sin occurs in very dim, dark rooms.
So much sin occurs out of town. Often among people who don't know one another well, when people were all alone, and when people were under great stress. Every one of those things has you in a place. where there's not accountability. There's not the sense that The lie is you won't be found out.
The truth is, your sin will always find you out, and my sin will always find me out. And so, all I'm saying is, you know what? I'm trying to persuade you. Are you starting to get persuaded? I'm trying to tell you that you can't live without this.
Well, I don't care what new. Lines that you say, I, you know what? I'm going to put first things first. I'm going to develop that discipline. It's going to be in this area and that area, and I'm going to honor God.
I implore you. To say, who is gonna go there with me? What group of guys can I do this with? What group of women as a woman can I do this with? And its cases, what set of couples could we dream some dreams together and in appropriate ways, be very honest?
The fourth reason. is because we constantly overestimate our ability to handle temptation. We underestimate the power of our passions or our sinful passions, and we overestimate our ability to handle temptation. I mean, some of you, and you don't mean it like this, but just in your subconscious, you're just thinking, I would never do that. I I would never do that.
I mean that that But I'm past that. Those things don't affect me. Um I mean, we're just friends. It's platonic. Those kind of movies, I know some people struggle with them, but not me.
They're a little bit racy in places, but you know, or this is. It could appear this way, but we're both very mature Christians, and I'm sure nothing would ever come of this relationship. What's the what's Paul say? He applies this passage. Therefore, let him who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall.
You might jot down Hebrews 3.13. It's one of my favorite passages. It says, Encourage one another day after day. Lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. You know, the word deceitful means it's you don't know, you don't get it.
And notice it's about your heart. It always starts there, your heart gets hardened. In fact, Jesus said that is the core reason for divorce. He says women's hearts they get hardened. And that's why we're to be tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also has forgiven us.
But encourage, get that, but encourage one another. And encouragement isn't like high-fiving. Oh, you're wonderful. I'm wonderful. Isn't life happy?
This word is that para kaleo. It's translated in some places as the word for the Holy Spirit. It's one who comes alongside. Encouragement is you come alongside another person, and sometimes it means you tell them really hard stuff.
Sometimes it just means you listen and support. And sometimes you just say, I'm so proud of you. But it's doing life together. It's caring. Um I I just I just want in my heart and mind.
to just sort of say to myself, Chip. on any given day. in the exact right circumstances. You are capable of sin beyond your wildest imagination.
So, you need to make pre-decisions about where you'll go and what you'll do and who you'll hang with. You need to have a group of people. Yeah. That you can surround yourself with, that love you, that you invite into your life, and say, you know what? You know, here's my heart, here's my life, here's my motives, here's my struggles, this is what I'm going through in my life.
Where are you going? And if you don't have that, you'll start faking it. And you'll have these temptations and you'll have thoughts. And you'll feel like, well, I can't.
Well actually it leads to the very next and last reason. The fifth reason that we need biblical accountability is we naively believe our struggles and temptations are. Unique. See, I need it because I I I think I mean Well, whether I like it or not, I've been a pastor for like 25 years and You know, people view me as a Christian leader, so I guess I'm a Christian leader, and then I have this profile of Christian leaders. I bet they never struggle with this, and I guess now I'm a Christian leader, so if I ever struggle with that, something must be wrong with me.
Wrong. I'm a man. And you're a man or a woman or a student. And um No temptation has ever taken me or ever taken you but what is common to man. But God will with the temptation provide a way of escape that you might be able to endure it.
You're listening to Living on the Edge, and we'll get back to Chip's message in just a minute. But first, if you're in a small group and are looking for what to study next, consider the Balancing Life's Demands small group. The resource for this series will help you realign your priorities and experience a more joy-filled life. Stick around after the teaching for complete details. But for now, here again is Chip.
Uh one time someone said um Okay. You know, uh I don't know how you do it, Chip, because sometimes when you talk, I feel like you're just talking to me, like you're reading my mind. This verse is my preaching verse.
Now, this may sound crazy, but any area I've ever struggled with in my life, I make this assumption.
So does everybody else. Yeah. And then it's like, I'm not, you know, I've told you I'm insecure, just like everybody else in this room. And I'm not overly vulnerable. I'm just thinking to myself, let's see, if every guy I've ever met.
apart from the comatose guys, struggle with lust at some level. Every woman I've ever met at some level struggles with self image.
Okay, everyone has gets overextended. I mean, everyone has unresolved anger issues in your marriage. Everyone has some season in your marriage you have problems with communication, sex, in-laws, and kids. Right? I mean, duh?
So, I don't think it's not like, oh. I mean, you know, when you start talking about a few of those things, they're like, Oh gosh, what's what's wrong with him? I you know what I get is, ah, he's one of us, you know. You know, and that's, you know what you need? You need people that you don't have to have pretense with.
Well, you know, I wrote down a couple things, and I've been in some good men's group and some good brothers. You need to be able to say to someone, you know what, I know it may not sound very spiritual, especially in our church and our denomination, but I think I'm clinically depressed. And I'm not sure. Could you kind of help me know? I haven't kind of gone through when and how and why.
Is medication good or not good and how long? And who did you talk to? There's people that are clinically depressed and they don't have anyone to talk to because it's like the unpardonable sin in their little group. Or a guy says, You know what? This is really, like, really weird, and it just only happened once and just flashed through my mind and it scared me to death.
I had a homosexual urge. You know what that is? I don't know what that is. I mean, I, you know. Yeah.
Or I was just driving one day, and as I was driving down the road, I was just feeling kind of low, and I just thought, you know, I'm just sick of all the pressure. And I was just, I was driving real fast, and there was a curve coming, and I just, I don't know why, it came out of the blue. I just thought to myself, I think I'll go straight. I think I'll just floor it. I got some insurance.
I'm not down. I'm not depressed. But I'm just sick of life. And as you're going, these thoughts are going through your mind. And you think, oh, I'd never do that.
But it's kind of getting closer. And then, you know.
Okay. Good, godly, amazing, committed, Bible study teachers, leaders, moms, grandparents, men, women, you have some of those thoughts. Huh? Welcome to the human race. I mean, I remember I was teaching a series on spiritual warfare, and as I was studying that, and there was a lot of that in California, and I remember praying.
And I mean, one of the things that God took away early and miraculously, some things I really had to work through. I just remember like three weeks after I was a Christian. God just went thing and yeah I quit cussing. And I mean, I tried before. I had a bad mouth, and you know, locker room, and all that jazz.
And I mean, I just quit.
So I hadn't cussed like in 20 years. And I was praying and I'm before the throne of God. And I mean, it was just stuff was going through my mind. It was like. What's happening to me?
You know, gosh, is this like God saying, you're not a very good pastor anymore? And my initial thought was, I'm going insane. Uh what's happened to me? And then I thought, wait, wait a second, hold it. Temptation is not the same thing as sin.
Temptation means there's an opportunity to be lured away in some way, you know, looking at a very attractive woman and going, Wow. Very attractive. is not the same as lusting for her. And you know, as a mature believer, I can say, Lord, man, sunsets are beautiful, and the trees are beautiful, and she's beautiful. That's look number one.
Okay. Now I want to thank you for what you made beautiful for me, Teresa. But I'm but I'm not I'm not going to beat myself up all day because Whoa. I mean, I'm a man. God gave me eyes, and they're attracted to certain.
Things when a woman is beautiful?
Well, and ladies, I mean, you know, do you have to feel bad every time you see a beautiful room decorated, and your first thought is that would look so good here, but we'd have to remodel. We just did that four years ago. You know The sin is when you start planning and figuring out how you're going to get your husband into doing that deal, right? But here the point I want to make is Because we naively believe our struggles and temptations are unique. We start to hide the ones that we think we're too mature or we shouldn't have.
And I just want to go back to secrecy is where the enemy will bombard you with doubts and struggles and condemnation. You know what? When you have a struggle, let me tell you what the Spirit does. Sh It's specific. It's sin.
Righteousness, judgment, repent. because I love you. Condemnation is vague. You're a terrible person. You know, you're a lousy this, you're a lousy that.
You know, why God put you on this. It's general. It's vague. Condemnation makes you not like you, not like God, and not want to pray. Conviction is a light shining on something that needs to be addressed, and you lift it into the light.
And just like bacteria out of the darkness, when the light hits the bacteria, whoop! And so that the fellowship can be restored. If you confess, agree with God about your sins, He's faithful and just to what? Forgive, release you of all your sins, and cleanse you. Of all unrighteousness.
What's he say about this biblical accountability? He says, What's the summary? Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. See, at the heart of it, at the heart of it all is that I end up me worshiping me. It's really not about the sex, it's about the ego.
It's really not about the food, it's about the ego. It's not about the business and the work, it's about the ego. At the end of the day, the core of sin is going to come back to in any and all of these is God gets taken off the throne. My way, my control, my agenda, a world system, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life, promising me security, significance, value, and worth apart from God. I bite on the bait.
I make an idol. And then Paul says, and if I happen that, I get disqualified. Disqualified from my relationship of eternal life? No. Disqualified as a useful.
vessel of honor and Disqualified not only of use by God, but bringing incredible, incredible pain in the lives of others. There is no such thing as private sins. Every sin I commit, every sin you commit. has ripples.
Some of them you may never see, but they have ripples. Even the ones that no one else has found out about, they have ripples.
So I have given you five reasons. to say Dear God I not only want. I am committed. to having biblical accountability in my life. I mean Paul needed it.
I need it. 1 Corinthians 10 outlines clearly we all need it.
So How do you get it? How does it work? Let me give you some practical, I guess I call them spiritual tips on getting there. Number one, it begins at home. When we talk about accountability too often, we jump into places outside.
Start with the people that you live with. I think there's appropriate things as men better off to share with men and women with women. I am very super open with my wife, but there are certain things that, you know what, my wife is not a man, she doesn't really understand. And I need some guys that I can share that with and her vice versa. But I think you got to start in your home.
your marriage partner or your roommates. I mean, they see you. See, in those accountability groups, you can do it, you can, man, it's smoke and mirrors. Oh, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah. Tell you what, you don't do that at home.
It's like you left the dishes here and you didn't clean up this here, and you said that over here. And, you know, you're saying all the spiritual jazz I'm living with, it's not matching.
So you start at home. Second, it's an atmosphere of love. tender, compassionate, someone who's rooting for you. You don't need to become, and you don't need a spiritual Gestapo. Huzzo!
So you didn't read your Bible today, huh? You blew it. I mean, I don't need that. I mean, I want people to be straightforward, but just I want someone who really loves me. They'll be tough when they need to be tough, but even when they're tough, I want to see a little tear or their eyes getting watery when they have mustered up the courage to confront me about something they know could split our relationship.
And they're being really tough. But I can feel behind the toughness, man, they love me. Third, it must be voluntary and by permission. There is no need for another junior Holy Spirit in your life. You have one who has the job.
And so, people who come to you, and I would like to be your accountability partner, and I can help you grow. Thank you. No. By the way, I think this is one you need to really negotiate. It is really hard.
Some of you are in these sort of semi-imbalanced kind of relationships, and you know, you're the wife, and you're in the Bible, and you love God, and you're going to church, and your husband's sort of. You know. Not so close. And you know, it's like as he gets up, here's a Bible passage opened, and here's a C D by so-and-so. And by the way, honey, I'll pick up your favorite meal if you just go to church with us and kid and just forget that jazz.
Let God work. You let your chaste behavior and how you live say, I tell you what, if this love in Jesus makes you love me the way you love me, Then honey, you just keep going to church and I might even check it out. Let God and vice versa.
So, you know, you need, it's got to be by permission. Um We don't go out and hold other people accountable. Uh 4. It must be specific, not generic. I mean, this sort of, hey, why don't you meet?
We all have coffee. And so, how are you doing in general? I'm doing pretty good in general. How are you doing in general? I'm doing pretty good in general.
So, what do you think of those Falcons? In our place, they actually won a game. Amen. Or, hey, you think the Cardinals are, you know. Gonna be any good this year, that quarterback change?
Or I don't know. Have you seen the last of Southern Living Magazine? I thought it was so cute the way that, you know. And isn't it good to be in these accountability groups? Just makes me feel warm all over.
And then we kid ourselves thinking that something's happening. Uh it needs to be specific. You might even put some things in writing. and say, you know what, as we meet together, These are the things we want to cover. I have a fellow, he's that dad figure, and I'll never forget.
I was in Dallas, and he has permission, and we talk on a regular basis, and he's real funny, he has a flat top. He kind of looks at me like this and he said, okay, why we went on our food? Are you ready? And you know, it's like a game show or something. I said, AC, man, what are you doing?
He goes, Well, are you ready?
So, yeah, he takes his wallet and he has this little laminated thing and real small print, and he's questions. Question number one. Have you any time since we last met been on the Internet and watched anything inappropriate? Question number two. And I mean, he goes through my thought life, my.
Time, my money, my ego. And then the last question, after it's like five basic areas, he goes, Question number six. Have you lied to me on questions one through five? And you know what? He's kind of a, he knows me and he's kind of goofy.
He knew it'd be uncomfortable. He knew it would be the kind of thing that, you know, it's always awkward. But guess guess what? I got a safe place to go. Anybody ask you those questions?
You asking anybody those questions? According to this passage, until the day you take your last breath. And I take my last breath, there'll be struggles in those areas, right?
So it needs to be specific. And by the way, every time it doesn't need to be like hardcore. All right, you know. But you know, you know, you. You build relationship and you build trust, but we're going to be specific about some things.
My rule of thumb is: no more than four people. unless there's unique relationships of closeness that allow for more. And um I think two is not great. because we start getting blind spots for one another. I mean, it's okay.
I think mentoring relationships are great. But for accountability, there's something healthy about having someone listen to stuff and say, because what you do is you're vulnerable when you're really being open and you only have one set of eyes looking at what's going on. I want a couple sets of eyes.
So I have kind of relationships with a handful of people like this. The conclusion, making sincere commitments. is tough. keeping them is next to impossible. Alone.
There's hope. Many start well. Few finish well. You can be the exception. You can be the exception.
There is no temptation taken to you. There is no trial taken to you, but such as common to man. And with that temptation, God will provide a way of escape. And I'm telling you, the way to escape. is of a cord.
of three. is not easily broken. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and the message you just heard, How to Keep First Things First, is from our series, Balancing Life's Demands. Chip will join us in the studio to share some insights from today's talk in just a minute. Are you exhausted juggling your job, kids, marriage, and everything else you're responsible for?
Do you wish there was a way to relieve that stress and live with a little more joy?
Well, in this series, Chip reveals what a balanced life looks like and how you can rearrange your priorities around what matters most. Hear how to experience the joy-filled and satisfying life God desires for you to have.
Now, if you've missed any part of Chip's teaching, catch up anytime on the Chip Ingram app.
Well, Chip's here in the studio now to talk about a resource we have that complements our current series. Thanks, Dave. You know, in today's world, it's easy to get pulled in a million different directions: work, family, church, kids' activities, and everything in between. And while all of these can be good things, they leave you feeling depleted. Drained, and often not connected to the people that you love the most.
Let me tell you something. That is not God's will or God's plan for your life. And we have a resource specifically designed to help you cut through the chaos and discover God's priorities for you and your family. Balancing Life's Demands is a small group study that will help you determine your should-dos in Christ from the could-dos that will steal your joy. If you want to get out from under the pressure and enjoy the life that God has in store for you, Balancing Life's Demands is the perfect tool.
That's absolutely right, Chip.
Well, to get your hands on this small group study, go to livingontheedge.org or call us at 888-333-6003. I think you'll be blown away by how this resource will declutter your day-to-day, prioritize what matters most, and lead you to a more peace-filled life. To order the Balancing Life's Demands small group, visit livingontheedge.org. Or call 888-333-6003. App Listeners Tap Special Offers.
As we close today's program, we've talked about the five specific reasons in the last two broadcasts of why we need accountable relationships. And then we have defined, and I think this definition is really important: accountability is not other people playing the Holy Spirit and nagging my life. Accountability is me inviting trust. Trusted people into my life to help me keep my commitments to God.
Now, here's the other thing. There's a lot of quote accountability groups, all kind of small groups. But I will tell you, my experience has been that there's a big problem in these groups. It's called lying.
Okay? I'm dead serious. I have been in accountability groups and have good friends in accountability groups that people who walked off with someone else's mate, people who have been involved in fraud at significant levels were in the accountability group. I think it's so important that we create an atmosphere where we really accept one another for who we are and the struggles that we have, but it's also an atmosphere where there's some tough love that goes on. You know, so often I think in the name of caring for one another, loving one another, I've been in groups where, you know, someone shows up seven, eight weeks in a row, doesn't do the lesson, doesn't memorize the passage, doesn't be very authentic.
And everyone just keeps giving them a pass, like, well, you know, we're Christians, we don't want to be too hard on him. Guess what?
Sometimes you need to be hard on people that you love. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet, those who've been trained by it afterwards yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness. I can look back at four or five major times in my life. where people said things to me that I wanted to get up and hit them.
I mean, I can't believe they said that. And the reason I wanted to get up and hit them was because they were absolutely right. When you find people defensive and rationalizing, I will tell you underneath that is unknown, unresolved patterns of sin that need to be addressed. Let's really love each other and stop playing games. Let's be Romans 12 Christians from the inside out.
Great challenge, Chip. In fact, we'd like to help you become a more dedicated follower of Jesus, so check out Chip's broadcast series, True Spirituality. As you walk through Romans chapter 12 with Chip, you'll uncover the profile of an authentic disciple. To listen to this series, True Spirituality, go to special offers at livingonthege.org or through the Chip Ingram app. Until next time, this is Dave Drewy saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge.
