The New Way... With Words (again)

You can take your Bibles. If you would, and turn to Ephesians chapter 4, if you are our guest. My name is Brian. I'm the lead pastor here. We've been studying the Letter to the Ephesians.

We're going to look at three verses this morning, Ephesians 4. four, and we're going to be in verse 29. Through 31 for a second. part on dealing with our words. I'm going to invite you to pray with me.

A lot going on in our world right now. And uh we certainly need our king. in our lives. Father, I pray. that as we have the privilege of coming before you this morning.

That you would guide us into all truth, and that you would open our eyes and our hearts and let us. Meditate upon your words. Let us hear what your spirit is saying to us. Keep us from presumption. From uh running headlong in the wrong direction.

Give us self-control and patience. Keep us free from anxiety in a present world where it feels like there are wars and rumors. Yeah. Keep us state on you in the midst of Uh global uh issues, Lord, horrible weather in the southeast that are is plaguing has killed many. God, we just pray for you to be merciful to those people.

We ask, Lord, that you would Be a protector. of the week this morning. An encourager to the frail. A lifter of the downtrodden. For those who are here this morning who are hurting physically, we pray for you to be the great physician.

the one who attends to their bodies in a way that no one else can. For those whose souls. Feel depleted. Diminished, discouraged, we pray for hope. strength.

A grace that comes only From you, our father. Heal relationships. guide people to wisdom. And Lord, I pray that you'll meddle with our hearts today. In Jesus' name, amen.

So we're going to talk about words.

Well, two weeks ago we talked about words. And we talked about work. And now I mentioned to you then that there would be a second part dealing with words. Um it must be that the Lord wants us to go after it again. We're going to look at it a little bit of a different way just because we're just going to do what we do each week.

We're just going to try to explain what the text of Scripture itself says. about something in particular. I remember when I first learned how to use words poorly. And I yeah, I always knew 'cause I'm a sinner. Where I remember being on a bus when I was in second grade.

And most bad things happen towards the back end of a bus. Just so you know. Tell your kids to sit toward the front.

So I lived on a dead end road. upstate New York and there were these kids They were up at the corner. There was a mobile home kind of trailer park area up there. And for some reason they didn't like me. And just for the record, I didn't like them.

And we'd get on the bus. And we'd kind of sneer at each other. I don't even know why. We just I don't know. I was from down at the end of the road.

They were from up the road. And when you're in the hostile confines of New Berlin, New York, population 1,000 people, you got to fight for it. You know what I mean?

So I'd get on a bus and they'd start yelling at me. They'd start trash talking. And they could swear. Oh, they could swear. They said words that I was just learning.

I didn't even know what they meant. But I picked him up pretty quick. And I could get as good as I got. And I remember one day I was sitting in the back and I leaned over and I looked at a guy. His name was Chip.

Never take advice from a guy named Chip. Just so you know. Especially if he's in fifth grade.

So, Chip was a fifth grader. I was in second grade. I mean, if you're a fifth grader named Chip and you drive a snowmobile. You're pretty cool. You're pretty cool in upstate New York if your name's Chip and you drive a snowmobile.

And so I looked at Chip and I thought Chip had it all together because Chip drove a snowmobile. And I said, hey Chip, is it okay if I say the F word? It could be. Chip looks over at me and he goes... Yeah, as long as you don't say it too much.

Good advice, Chip. Thanks.

So I took Chip's advice, except that don't say it too much part. And so I just went after it with these guys. And I remember I started getting loose on my tongue. I started saying stuff, not realizing it. I remember there were Three times, and I don't know why that stands out, maybe because Peter denied Jesus three times, I don't know, but I can remember three times that I took the Lord's name in vain.

I said Jesus Christ in vain. in anger in second grade in front of my father. And I also learned at that point what it was to wet your pants in fear. at that point. My tongue.

was out of control. And probably like some of you, it was only the beginning of that journey.

Now maybe it wasn't, you know, I learned to grow out of Chip's advice and I learned that Chip was a total dope. But There's way more insidious stuff. And frankly, way more hurtful stuff. Way more harsh stuff that comes out of our mouths. I wrote a few down.

Sometimes the things we say and relationships that matter a lot to us. I never loved you.

Some of you have heard someone say that to you. I know you have. You're a failure. You're a failure. Nobody likes you anyway.

You'll never amount to anything. You're stupid. You're stupid. I don't want you around. You're ugly.

You know, I wish we never met. I hate you. You'll never change. I think my life would be better without you in it. I don't believe in you.

You know, there are people who spend their whole life I mean, I know them. They spend their whole life running from words like that. They heard words like that growing up. They've heard words like that from a spouse. They've heard words like that from a friend.

Or a former friend? They've heard words like that in jest, but they're suspicious. They're suspicious that there's there's something sitting there. And they spent their whole life. Feeling insecure.

about little areas of their heart they don't want to expose to anyone. Because those words just sit there for him. I can't shake 'em. I think this is why we get words recycled.

So jump back to verse 25. Therefore, having put away. Falsehood. Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor. For we are members of one another.

Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down in your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. We talked about words, but we talked about them specifically in regard to anger when we looked at those texts. We had verse 28 last week: Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. And then we get back to words.

And as we look at this text, what we're going to do is we think about the new way with words again. We're going to think about four observations concerning the specific nature. of words. Let no corrupting talk. Come out of your mouths.

That's the first observation. The two things you got to know. Is that verse 29, verse 30, and verse 31 all have imperatives?

So this is something you gotta do. Remember. First portion of Ephesians is that the gospel has secured for you a kind of life in God's kingdom. a salvation from him, That is to reconstitute your life individually and to reconstitute your relationships corporately, right? Remember that.

So it's out of that declarative, indicative state of being. that now we get all this thrust. of chapter 4, 5, and 6 of what you're supposed to do. And here we get three imperatives. And the first one is Don't let corrupt.

Talk come out of your mouths. The sickness of bad words. I want to think about the word corrupt for a moment with you. about what it means.

So in your scripture, This word shows up. I I think it's eight times. You remember when Jesus talks and he says things like there's a A good tree bears good fruit. And a bad tree bears bad fruit. When he uses the word bad and he talks about a tree or fruit, He uses the word corrupt.

Uses the word here, it means diseased. Diseased. It's gone bad.

So, um Give her Put a uh we we love to get peaches once a year. at a particular place in Provo. There's this one little place. where they have different times of the of the summer where they have different kinds of peaches and there's a particular kind or two that we love, but one in particular, and it usually comes about the time every year we go on vacation, so we're always fighting to before or after to go get it. But we have a problem and the problem is we always overestimate.

on the peaches.

So we go down and you can buy them in a thing that's like this, but when you're there and you love them and you've waited all year, this basket that's like this big, you're like, what losers are buying that?

Okay. Then you can get it in a big box, a whole box full of them. And since we're winners, we buy the box. And we bring the box back. And they're just incredible.

I mean just the juice running down your lip. It's just a wonderful experience. But what happens invariably is they don't all get eaten. Because there's a lot of them. And so They can start to go bad.

And when one peach goes bad next to another peach, what happens? And it spreads. It spreads. Before you know it, you open your drawer and you got your own little science experiment going on in the produce drawer. In the fridge.

'Cause the peaches went bad on you. Diseased. Let me give you another use of this word. There's another use of it outside of bad or diseased fruit. This is Matthew 13, 47 through 50.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. When it was full, men drew it ashore, sat down, sorted the good into containers, but threw away the corrupt, the bad. It's a fish. Catch fish. You want something to stink?

A bad Fish.

So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. There's a quote by C.S. Lewis.

I'm going to teach you a new word. Lewis taught me a new word in a quote that he has. The purpose of all opprobrious. Probably not a word you use all the time. You don't wake up and say, wash your opprobrious mouth out.

So The purpose of opprobrious language. That means hurtful. Scornful. or insulting. What's the point, Lewis says, of insulting language?

Remember what Lewis's profession was. Taught English. Right? He's a professor. Is not to describe, but to her, even when, like Hamlet, we make only the shadow passes of a soliloquized combat.

In other words, like Hamlet, we talk bad about Ophelia and we sort of angle and say little hurtful things and step back from it and then make a statement and step back. And we're pretty good at it. It's sort of a sword play. We call the enemy not what we think he is. but what we think he would least likely to be called.

Who here knows how to hurt their spouse? Who here knows what'll get under their skin? More than anything, we'll get under their skin. Who here, when you get into an argument, starts to see a big red flashing button right on their chest and you want to just push it? Because you know what you can say.

You know what you can say. He points out, we actually don't end up using words. The way they are supposed to be at that point. Instead, we use them in a way. where we're asking not what is true, but really what will hurt.

What will get our point across? What'll send the message that you're not to sort of mess with me? Here's another quote from Lewis. Do not use words too big for the subject. Right?

Yeah, people do this all the time. You had cheese fries and you go, they're epic. They're cheese fries. They're like they're cheese fries. No, these these will change your life.

No, they won't. They won't. I mean, they might, they may give you a heart attack. That's how they'll change your life, but they're not going to change your life because they're awesome.

Okay. Don't say infinitely. When you mean very. Otherwise, you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. What it is.

What does that have to do with the Bible and with being circumspect in our speech. I actually think it has a lot to do with that. Say what's true. Don't weaponize what's false. Good thing we never do that.

You never Listen to me. Napper?

Sounds like you might be using infinitely in a way that you should say very. Or occasionally. Or sometimes you always are that way. Always? How does somebody get out from underneath always?

How are they supposed to feel?

Now, it's just, you know what I mean. I do know what you mean. I do, and that's the scary part. You don't care. Categorically, you never care.

What do you think? You only care about yourself. Oh, that's it only? Nothing else? You're the worst.

You're the most, and then you fill it in, you're the most lazy, you're the most obnoxious, you're the most mean, you're the most arrogant, you're the most fill it in. The most. How do you get out of being the most? How do you get out of being the worst? How do you get out of always?

How do you get out of never? Not very well. Not very well at all. Lewis says, just use your words in measure. Say right things in a culture of lies.

Don't exaggerate. Do you see any exaggerations going on at all today? Everything's exaggerated. I just did it. We can't help.

But buy into it. And now it's become normal, and it's just the way we talk, and we just think this is how speech goes. It doesn't. Be a truthsayer in a world of lies. Be an honest speaker in a world of exaggeration.

Be factual in a world of hyperbole. Be careful. Because your scornful and your hurtful language can get weaponized and you can exaggerate. Totalitis. Not leave people space in the relationships that you have.

James 3. Portion of this was read earlier, but listen to this: and the tongue is a fire. A world of unrighteousness. Jen and I drove back yesterday. I was teaching all week in Oregon, intro to theology class, and we drove back all day yesterday, got home last night.

from the Oregon coast. And as we're driving through Idaho, you can see just the right along the highway these huge swaths of land that have been burned over this summer by wildfires. And it's a tragedy and a travesty. Everything is gone, it looks like, or most everything you can see with the naked eye, and all that's left is just a burned over, black hillside. The tongue has a way of Just ravaging, and you can't control it.

You can't pull it back. The tongue said among members, staining the whole body. setting on fire the entire course of life. Isn't that interesting? Like, when I started the message and I used some of those words, you're stupid.

You'll never amount to anything you're a failure. You're the worst. Like I know some of you have heard those things And I know that you've run from them. That's what it's telling you. It sets on fire the entire course of your life.

You spend your life trying to get out from under it and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It's a restless evil full of deadly poison. With it, we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. With it, we weaponize, and when we weaponize, we speak right through that person to God Himself.

But we all think about it like that. You're the worst! Right through them. I'm so tired of you. Right through them.

To God. Maybe. I'm getting an indication why. He decided to go back again to this. Maybe because This one.

Yeah. Tiger. It doesn't want to be tamed. You know, James 3 goes on and talks about how it does, it boasts, it actually says before this, it boasts great things. It boasts great things.

That's true either way you go. It'll weaponize and destroy or it can be used. to absolutely take someone from the lowest depths they could possibly be and to set them on a course. For righteousness and holiness and joy and fullness in their life.

So Paul goes right there. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up. As fits the occasion, if you make notes in your Bible or on a sheet of paper, you might make a note that when you get to the end of verse 28 that we talked about last week, where it says to share with anyone in need. It's the same Greek word. for as fits the occasion.

In other words, what's needful? What's needful? that you would be able to speak to someone. To build them up in the way that is most needed, that it may give. Grace.

to those Who here? Grace to those who hear. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Death and life are in it. Death and life.

What are you gonna eat? You gonna eat spoiled rotten fruit? Are you going to eat good fruit? There's a there's the idea of grace. And the grace of God in speech.

So let's think about it for a moment. It says Really, at the end of this verse, right? If you get the end of verse 29 here, that it may give grace to those of you here, that's a way of saying that it might give power. to them. Power for what?

Power. to be able to overcome all that's brought them to where they are. Your words can do that to someone. Not empty words, not flattery.

Well thought out, sincere words that speak to them in meaningful ways, that affirm in them eternal realities and timeless truths. and render in their minds the reality that they are part of something bigger and you're part of that with them. The power of God at work in your speech.

So, everybody in here. is somebody who holds grace within them. You got it. You got it right here. You can use it if you want to.

Grandma Grandpa. You love those little grandkids, right? I mean you do. They're awesome. You know, it's good news for you.

You don't have to spend your life disciplining your grandkids. Don't have to. They got parents for that. You get to give them back and say they're your problem, not mine. That's a good thing.

That puts you in a unique posture. You get to be The inordinate Continual, perpetual messenger. of gladness to them. You really do. You get to take a posture.

That is unique. In that way. And you get to see and just perseverate. on what can be. on what they could be.

Mom and Dad, you could take a page from Grandma and Grandpa. 'Cause it's easy to get in the war. Great. Anybody here got teenagers and you're in the war? Yeah.

Your teenagers feel it too. They go, yeah, we're in the war. We feel it too. It's true. You get to stop and you get to say, Am I spending as much time building?

Strengthening. That's the word build up. Build up there is used in Ephesians four times, and it's about the structure. Chapter 2, verse 21. Oikademe is the word.

To build the house, to build the structure. of the church. to build up. Let's see that word for a sec. Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves, Paul wrote to you?

It's in the sight of God that we've been speaking in Christ all for your upbuilding, beloved. We've been trying to speak to you to build you up. We've been choosing to use our words. With what Paul Tripp writes in his little old book that not a lot of people are as familiar with. It's called A War of Words, pretty good.

But he he makes this point. there. Um Choosing your words does not mean writing a script for every conversation. Rather, it means being redemptively intentional. I like that.

redemptively intentional. If my purpose, my intention is to function as God's representative, then I need to take time to consider what that means practically in this circumstance with this person. I have to ask myself, I have to measure my words. I gotta be careful. With them.

This week I had a time when I wasn't careful with my words. I wasn't careful with them. Overstated. Hyperbole. Part of it was I didn't want to live in a world where I'm accountable for every word.

I didn't want to live in it. I didn't want to be taken seriously with everything that I said. after all, give me a break. I'm supposed to be accountable for everything I say. Better yet, I am accountable.

for everything I say. Paul says, we decided to build you up with our words. Um Earlier in Ephesians, just the same chapter. Rather speaking the truth in love. Keep that in mind.

We're to grow up in every way to him who is the head into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together with every joint in which it's equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. What happens? What's the engine for the building up of the body of Christ? How does it have, how does this church have the capacities to build itself up? Where it has an energy within it to build itself up.

What is that energy? Speaking the truth to each other in love. That's the energy. Speak the truth, and all of a sudden we find ourselves getting built up. Lie and will be torn down.

You ever been lied about? Phew. I'm gonna lie about it all the time. It sure doesn't help you get built up, does it? It takes you to a place you want to tear down.

It takes you to a place you want to self-defend. It takes you to a place you want to not be vulnerable ever again with anybody because they lied. Truth and Love. I'm going to give you a smattering of verses. About the grace of words.

Here's one. This is the Hurlbut family verse. Our kids have written it out to the point that they should have had carpal tunnel surgery.

Okay. There's one whose words... Are like sword thrusts. Rash words are like sword thrusts. But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

The NIV, which our kids would write, and I mean literally, I remember saying to you sit down and write Proverbs 12, 18 a thousand times. No, I wouldn't make them do it a thousand times. I just wanted to use hyperbole to manipulate them, so I did. But they'd sit down and write it. The NIV says reckless words pierced like a sword.

Reckless words just spouting off of the mouth. But the tongue of the wise brings healing. Tunga Wise knows, if I say this right now, this will bring repair. Maybe to not necessarily to wounds I caused, but just wounds that they have in general. This will bring repair.

So I'm going to say this. I'm going to say this. I'm going to engage with them. Um I've listened to a two and a half hour podcast over the span of a few runs running around my neighborhood. And um It's by a guy named Gordon McDonald who um famously fell into sexual sin when he was much younger man as a pastor.

His repentance was incredibly public and well known. It was a focus on the family, all kinds of things. He had been the head of Inner Varsity. He ended up pastoring again, and he pastored back into the church where his sexual sin happened. And if you fast forward about 40 years from all that happening.

He's now in his early 80s and he wrote a Fifteen pointed paper. That's fifteen basically like Lessons of life from the view from 80.

So I listened to a two and a half hour podcast of him being interviewed about 15 lessons. This is so good. That was so good. One of his lessons, and I won't get it word for word, but the gist was: take every opportunity you can to use some particular words every day if possible. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Thank you. How can I help?

Well done.

Well done.

I forgive you. What? What power in words like that? Sincerely spoken. Sincerely spoken.

Not cliche. But well done specifically for what you did with this, this, this, this. I love what you're becoming. You can add to those words, but the idea is: are you using your words wisely? Are you thinking about them?

Are you taking knowledge and applying it appropriately? Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down. Life's hard, it's difficult, but what comes along a good word and it makes him glad. A good word makes him glad. You know, years ago there was a marriage that I was working with and it was in crisis.

And one of the things we did is we employed the one and others of scripture in this particular marriage. And um At that time. The marriage at that time began to get some healing and began to garner some strength. And do you know how it did? because they began to employ one one another for a while.

And that one another was greet one another. Because what they found is that when One of them would come home from a day exhausted and tired and spent and anxious and frustrated and just wanting to just crash and the other had been with the children for most of the day and was themselves quite spent. That when they met at the door, they weren't prepared to meet at the door. And so, what happened is, they began a process, she in particular began a process of. Greeting.

one another. Welcoming. One another. My wife, historically, I will brag on her about this. She has done this incredibly well.

She's way better at this than me. I walk in the door and throw my bag down.

Okay. When I come in the door, she goes, You're home. Where else would I be? Yeah. I'm so glad you're home.

You know what it's like to walk in and have somebody say, I'm so glad you're home. All of a sudden, guess who else is really glad they're home? Me. Yeah. Good word makes him glad.

To make an apt answer is a joy to a man. And a word in season, how good it is. You ever had words out of season? Those are not awesome. Those are hurtful.

But there are words in the season. Where it's in season. Here's what you don't need in winter. When your soul is depleted and destroyed, or the soul of your neighbor or your family member is depleted and destroyed, what they don't need is for you to tell them how they should change their life to get into summer. They don't actually need you in that moment to tell them that if they just would do this, it'd all be better.

What they need is for you to sit and winter for them, with them just a little bit. They don't need you to be angry with them. They don't need you, that'd be bad. They don't need you to be depressed with them. What they need to know is that when they're sad, when they're depleted, when they're broken, you'll sit with them and you'll say things like, I'm sorry, I hate that you're hurt.

This is hard. I'm here for you. How can I help?

And you'll be with them for a while. That's a word in season. That's good. That's a good. The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious.

And adds persuasiveness to his lips. What's that tell you? The heart of the wise thinks about what he's going to say and if it's right, is it judicious? And is it persuasive? How do I say it?

So a wise person isn't just a truth bomber. A wise person is somebody who thinks carefully about how they say something and what they say. Gracious words are like a honeycom, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. If you eat the comb of the honey, You can't do it in excess because it'll make your stomach sick. But if you do eat the comb itself, the waxy comb of the honey.

It actually has great health benefits. It helps your heart in moderation. It helps your immune system fight off disease. Can fight infection. Different ways.

Words are like that. Gracious words will help you fight off diseased words. They will. You or stupid. You heard.

But now you got people around you who believe in you. You have people who have seen things others haven't. And they're telling you about it. They're encouraging you. And you're starting to get above the horizon and starting to see that maybe those things weren't true.

Maybe those things were said from people who themselves felt that way about themselves, and that's why they said it to you. And so you're starting to learn and you're starting to grow. in that way. It's a honeycomb. It begins to help you.

Fight off disease words. The sorrow of bad words. Verse thirty. And do not Grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed for the day of redemption.

Now Just let's go back. Turn a page in your Bible back to Ephesians chapter 1. Verse 13. In him, you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel, your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it. To the praise of his glory.

You'll remember that it was a seal, and I told you then: it's not like a seal on a jar that you spin down a lid on a jar. And seal the jar. It was a seal, as in an ancient Roman. type seal, a governmental seal, wax seal that you might today put on a letter to show that the letter hasn't been opened and it's sealed with a letter, maybe your initials or something like that. You're marked.

And you're marked with the Holy Spirit, and it was a way of saying, You're his. That's who you are. And it was a deposit. Guaranteeing something that had not yet fully materialized.

So you get the Spirit, Spirit marks you, and that is a deposit. that is guaranteeing something.

So listen carefully. You have spoken bad words to someone. You have a habit. of letting your mouth Cause enormous damage in relationships. And you proclaim Christ.

Look back at verse thirty. And don't grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed. for the day of redemption. You're supposed to have two things in your mind. The first is you're supposed to in repentance be reminded Okay.

You did things and said things you should not have said. But there's good news. You're the Lords. You're the Lords. Don't lose heart.

He works with people. who don't use their mouths wisely. But secondly, You are to return your mouth. Return your mouth to its owner. You to return your mouth.

to the one who sealed you. He has marked you as his. And he'll let his ownership come over.

Now what happens? when your words don't match the ownership of your life. You get this verb. Grieve. Grieve.

Is it biblical to say that God can be sad? Isn't that an interesting question? Could we speak of the sorrow of God?

Well, let me let me just Give you a little scripture. We probably should let the Bible answer questions like that if they're difficult. Jeremiah 14. Verse 16 through 18, and the people to whom they prophesy shall be cast out in the streets of Jerusalem. This is about the father's reaction, by the way, to false teachers.

He doesn't like false teachers and false prophets. Victims of famine and sword with none to bury them, their wives, their sons, and their daughters, for I will pour out their evil upon them. They're prophesying evil. It's going to come back on them. And then he says, You shall say to them this word.

Let my eyes run down with tears night and day. Let them not cease, for the virgin daughter of my people is shattered with a great wound. with a very Grievous. Boil.

Now, obviously, God doesn't have eyes. It is a metaphor. But the metaphor is hooking to something real. God isn't. As Karl Barth said, you know, we Aristotle spoke of the divine as an unmoved mover, and Barth, in reflecting upon the emotion of God, said, we should note, in one sense, God is not the unmoved mover.

He has moved. He has moved. That doesn't mean he is mutable. Doesn't mean he changes. It means that you and I have emotion because you're created in the image of God.

You don't have emotion because you're fallen. Your emotions may be sinful because you're fallen. But you don't have emotion because you're fallen any more than you have an intellect because you're fallen any more than you have a will because you're fallen. You're constituted with those three things because you reflect the nature of the ultimate being who always has those things in an absolutely pristine, perfect fashion and look around you.

Some things it's righteous to be sad about.

Some things, brokenness is the only response that's mandated. When you see people being wounded and hurt, manipulated. Of course. You think Jesus is somehow playing around? In Matthew 26, 36 through 38, then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane.

He said to his disciples, sit here while they go over there and pray. And talking with him, Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be...

Sorrowful, it's the same word. Same Greek word, grieved. Grieved. Old Testament. Isaiah 63, 10, but they rebelled and grieved his Holy Spirit.

Therefore he turned to be their enemy and himself fought. against them. My words don't diminish God. My words don't make God less. But my diseased words do not make glad the heart of God.

And they don't leave the heart of God in neutral. I'm his child. And he longs for my speech. To conform with His image, remember, I'm looking through them to Him. They're made in his image.

It's important that we get a hold of that.

Now you're sealed for the day of redemption. That's good news. That's good news. You're a believer, and you use your words to assault your marriage covenant. It's still a covenant.

It's still a covenant. And you're guilty of assault. Both are true at the same time. God will keep his word. He won't keep you as his.

But that doesn't mean. that he's not relating to you. And your words. Verse 31. Let all and I'll just run down through these real quick.

Let all bitterness But all bitterness. And wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. What's bitterness? Greek word picros used of like a that somebody would eat and it would taste bitter. It's also used of arrows that are sharp.

They're they're they're hurtful. I'm sticking there. Let bitterness be gone. He says. He uses a couple of words that are basically synonyms, wrath and anger.

Orgay and Thumas. But just parallel ideas of uncontrollable. Emotive anger. Clamor is shouting and yelling. Shouting, sometimes it's used of like shouting in victory.

Here it's not. Here it's used of raising your voice to get your point across to people. Who you're angry with. Shouting. Because it goes so much better when your voice goes up.

Who here has that been really effective for? Who here would say, you know, the best advice I have: when you really want to get your point across, the louder you get, the better everybody responds. Never works, but we keep doing it all the time. We're such idiots. Slander.

It's the word for blasphemy. Which means a couple of things. Lying about someone? Saying something that's not true and spreading it. and abusing people with your language, abusive language.

Along with all malice, malice is a catch-all, kakiya. It's just that stuff that's bad. As we think about the soul of words, let me give you a verse and I want to give you an illustration, and I'm going to close in prayer. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good. The evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil.

For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Famous verse, right? I want you to think about this verse for a second. I want to use an illustration, just something maybe that will help you understand what's being said here. Right now in the southeast, the flood is ravaging.

I have an aunt that lives there, and they've been without power, and the whole town they live in has been destroyed and decimated by what's gone on. You can't get in and out of areas unless you have a helicopter right now, and it's probably going to be like that for the next week or so.

Okay. It's just been destroyed. Um there's another um Tropical storm that's making its way named Joyce that's on its way up and and that's going to end up hitting potentially that area again maybe. It's that season there.

Okay. That season. Why is it that season there? And yet I'm driving down the Columbia River Gorge yesterday, and it could not have been more beautiful. It was gorgeous.

Well I want you to think about the difference between, or maybe the relationship, between climate and weather for a second. Climate and weather. Particular forms of weather occur necessarily in particular climates.

Okay. particular climates. Freezing rain. rarely hits the coast of Georgia. But it does the coast of Oregon.

Hurricanes Don't hit the coast of Oregon usually. But they do hit the coast of Georgia and the Carolinas and Florida. The climate is different. And the climate gives birth to weather. This is a verse about climate.

This is about the subtext. If you want to change the weather, the only way you change the weather ultimately. is through changing the climate. of your soul. That's the only way you can change it.

Otherwise, it's just going to be hurricane season in your house. You're just going to tear people up and blow them over with your words. And you're going to feel a lot of regret. and a lot of sorrow and a lot of pain. Here you think, dear God, why do I keep doing that?

Why do I keep hurting people? Friend, you keep hurting people because the force of your will. Won't stop the weather. Because the climate of your soul is what it is. A new need.

To get with the Lord and you need to get with people around you. And you need to pray and you need to seek his face. Not so the weather changes, but so that the deep places of your soul that are making you a hurtful person Can get healed. 'Cause you won't even be able to stop killing them. You won't.

And you're going to get frustrated. And I'm going to tell you, you're going to get angry. You're going to get mad at God because you're going to say, I pray and God doesn't take this away from me. And I don't want to use my words like this. And you're so angry inside, you're so frustrated, you're so hurt from things that you've never dealt with in your whole life.

You don't know that it's killing you. But everybody around you does. And it's killing them. Father, I pray that you'd help us. To be people who could change the climate through your power of your spirit.

Your gospel the capacity for that kind of change. We know it's true. We know that we can literally be transformed. in the renewal of our minds. Through turning ourselves over to you.

God, I pray that you'd help us with this. and make us people who can be so conscious. of the climate of our souls, that we wouldn't bring sorrow Grief. To you, Lord. That we wouldn't damage the souls and disease the lives.

of those we love. That we would use our words for good. Gracious words. To build each other up. I pray that you'd help us.

In Jesus' name. Amen.