It’s Not About – The Predator

This is Stu Epperson from the Truth Talk Podcast, connecting current events, pop culture, and theology, and we're so grateful for you that you've chosen the Truth Podcast Network.

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It's 2024, and it's actually the first Kingdom Pursuits of 2024. Very fun. And today we have a new guest on with us. We have John, and I'm going to try not to murder his last name, DiGirolamo.

Is that pretty close, John? Yeah, DiGirolamo. Thanks for having me on the show.

I really appreciate it. DiGirolamo. Wow.

It's almost like Geronimo, only Geronalamo. I've been, yeah, I've been having people butcher my name my whole life, so... So John, are you on a speakerphone? I'm on headphones.

Ah, so yeah, sometimes those sound a little bit better, believe it or not, just straight through the phone. But anyway, we're so glad you're here, and he is the author, we're really glad you're here, of a book, of a book series, actually. It's not about, and then he's got several titles, but the one we're basically, we're mainly talking about today, it's not about the predator. And so, John, tell us a little bit about, it's not about the predator. Tell us about what it's not about. Sure, so it's really about what you as the parents can do to keep your kids safe online. What you need to know about what the predators are doing out there, and then how you can take action to keep your loved ones safe. And it's kind of, it's a short booklet, it's just over 50 pages, and it's really based on practical tips for parents, and just being able to quickly figure out how these guys operate out there. And most people are surprised that it's really worse than most people think.

Oh yeah, by all means. And so I'm definitely curious about the title. I mean, what are you getting at when you're saying it's not about the predator? Well, it's a situation where we've got technology changing very fast, and predators use that technology. And so it's really not about trying to stop them per se, because that's something you as an individual parent really have a hard time doing. What you can control is what conversations you have with your kids, what kind of family values you instill in them, and just try to teach them to navigate the digital world. Because today's teenager is different than any other generation. They've grown up with this stuff.

It's been around their entire life. And it's about you trying to navigate that with your child. And so I don't know, that's kind of my marketing catch for different titles. All right, well, for those who are used to Kingdom Pursuits, no, we've got to get to some stuff here. So speaking of predators... And I'm going to guess, John, you've never played shenanigans, have you?

Probably not this version. Yeah, it's all going to change for you real quick here. So here we go. You know, you may know this, Nick, but the swordfish has no natural predators to fear from. Speaking of predators, right? Yet they literally shiver at the sight of what fish? They literally shiver at the sight of what fish? A kebab.

Yeah, I would think, yeah, a kebab fish would get a swordfish every time. How about you, John, you got any ideas? What fish makes the swordfish shiver? I don't know. All right, I'm going to give you a big hint. Because you're an author, you have a good sense of this.

Because they shiver at the pen fish because, of course, everybody knows the pen is mightier than the sword. Oh, wow. Good one. This one is actually my favorite on the list. I sat here and looked at it for probably three minutes before it hit me.

So I won't be surprised if you don't get this, but you are going to love it, I think, on the other side of this, Nick. So how does honeysuckle avoid predators? Honeysuckle? Yeah, you know, honeysuckle, they're little flowers.

How do they avoid predators? What do you think, John? You got any ideas? I feel they have to be careful. No, I like that. They would need to be careful.

John, what do you think? Yeah, I was trying to think of using the word be on there. Maybe they're trying to be in hiding. Yeah, well, they're going to be invasive. So invasive maneuvers. You got to admit that invasive.

Okay, you know, if you're a flower. Anyway, so what do koi fish, you know, why, more importantly, why do koi fish travel in groups of four? Have you thought about that one? I never even knew it, that koi fish traveled in groups of four. I'm going to make this one easy for you. See, when attacked, koi A and koi B and koi C will go in one direction.

And then you might have guessed it by now, the fourth one is the decoy. Oh, okay. I like that.

Anyway, I just have so much fun with this. Why do you what, excuse me, do you call a collection of information about oceanic predators? So it's a whole like database of information about oceanic predators. What do you call that? Hmm.

I have the word, but I don't, I can't think of the word. It's coming to you. It's shark eyes. Yeah, that's a groaner. We ended it with a groaner and getting on to your riddle today. So if you can call in and guess this, the good news is we've got a copy of it's not about the predator for you. So we're going to talk about that in a minute, but here's your riddle for today.

So, and I do love this riddle. Which Bible predator was sweet on Samson? Which Bible predator was sweet on Samson? If you know that, you call us at 866-348-7884, 866-34-TRUTH, and tell us which Bible predator was sweet on Samson. And Nick, tell them what they'll win. Absolutely.

Yes, you'll be winning, you actually be winning John's books. It's not a predator. It's not about the sex.

It's not about the badge. Just call in at 866-348-7884, 866-34-TRUTH. Yes. So John has written a whole series of books, and you get your pick. So you call us, 866-348-7884, which Bible predator was sweet on Samson? And I'm guessing you got that one. You know, I'm not thinking that's one of my harder riddles ever, but feel free, a lot of times, and I'm never surprised at some of the great answers that people come up with that I never would have thought of in a million years.

866-348-7884. And while you're on that subject, like if you're just thinking, wow, I would really like to ask John a question. I've got John I've got children at home. You know, I want to have good conversations with them. You know, what should we be bringing up? Those kind of questions, you know, that I may not ask, by all means. We've got John here for that very reason.

Let's not start 2024 in a predatory way. Let's be talking about—and I love the whole idea of what you're talking about, John, is that really, it's so much about the relationship between the parent and the child that ends up, you know, being the projection, right? Yeah, absolutely. Because, you know, you've got to be able to have the kind of relationship with your kids that if something happens, and even if it's something that happens to a friend of theirs, they can feel comfortable talking to you and coming to you and telling you what's happening.

You know, the predators count on kids being embarrassed about a situation they've gotten themselves into. Right. Unfortunately, John, we've got to go to a break.

So we'll be right back with either your answers or your questions, and a lot more with John, 866-348-7884. Welcome back to Kingdom Pursuits, where we hear how God takes your passion and uses it to build the kingdom. And today we're blessed to have with us John DiGirolamo. Did I say it right? No.

DiGirolamo. All right. So anyway, he's the author of the book we're talking about today, is it's not about the predator, but you also have a whole series of what it's not about, which, did that start off with it's not about the badge?

It did. And so that, I'm curious, like, you saw that it's not about the badge. Why isn't it about the badge?

What were you going after there? Yeah, so this book is about the human side of policing. And I asked police officers, tell me about a day on the job you'll never forget. And it wasn't the days that they were the most dangerous criminal per se. It was days that had an extraordinary effect on that officer as a person, even though it might have been sort of an ordinary policing day.

And so it's not about the badge, it's about how does that person deal with everything they have to do in their job, how does it affect their life, their marriage, etc. And so I really wanted to show the human side of policing. I wrote this during the Deep on the Police kind of happenings in 2020. And I wanted to give regular small town police officers a voice to tell their stories. Yeah, that's beautiful. And so as you did, you introduced a whole series of it's not about, right? Which ends up here where we are today on it's not about the predator. And so I'm literally shocked, I am, that no one has called in yet today.

It must be because of the rainy, snowy weather or something, but it's a perfect day to call us at 866-348-7884. If you want to talk about this idea of sexual exploitation of our youth and all that kind of stuff, or if you just want to tell us which Bible predator was sweet on Samson, I mean come on now. That one's pretty easy.

866-348-7884 is the number to call in and share. And so John, I'd love to know the story of, you know, there's always a story behind the story, right? Like how did God put it on your heart to write this particular book? Was there a story involved that you got involved in that? Or was that something that came out of your policing book?

Or how did it come about? Yeah, there it really is a succession of how I wrote the books. And I was interviewing a police officer. And I asked, what would you do if you won the lottery? And I got all kinds of answers. And one of the officers just stopped stone cold and said, I quit my job and down human traffickers. And I realized two things.

One, I had I had my next book. But more importantly, I realized I didn't know that much about human trafficking. And, and I felt like I'm the average American out there. And so I wanted to tell stories for people in different perspectives about human trafficking. And I started talking about trafficking. And one way that traffickers operate is is through technology and being online. And the more research I did, I realized that there's a lot of other bad guys out there that are not necessarily after trafficking. And so it's a really broader topic. And instead of telling stories, I wanted to simply put together pieces of information that people could quickly read and and really, you know, start to take action in a 50 some page book. And so that's, that's how I got to writing about predators is that broadening is that broadening of kind of what these guys are doing, how they're doing it, where and what's their playbook. And so what were some of those stories that took you by surprise?

Can you share one of them? Yeah, I was interviewing a police officer who was in the Boise metro area who went undercover as a 13 year old girl online, and it wasn't a police officer in the first book, was not. And so I talked to him about that. And some of the stories that he told me that when he went and went online, how quickly strangers asked to be this person's friend on social media, and how quickly in 24 hours, he was starting to be asked out for dates, and, and asked for pictures, and this is all within 24 hours, and he's typing back as a 13 year old girl, you know, how do I go out on a date? Do I ride my bike?

I, you know, I'm 13, I can't drive. And the predators, you know, without skipping a beat said, Oh, well, just, you know, we'll set up a motel where we can meet very close to your house, etc. And this predator eventually got very specific with what they wanted to do, all documented on the communication in chat rooms and stuff. And so he was promptly arrested when they met at the motel. And, and I was just surprised at how quickly it went from brand new profile to, hey, meet me at a motel. These guys, it's so easy to set up profiles, it's so easy to ask for connections, friends, followers on social media, and they'll just send out 100 of them. And that's what this criminal did.

He sent out hundreds of requests to middle schoolers, and see who would react. And that's, that's how they operate. Yeah, it's, it's absolutely terrifying. When you think about how, how easy that is, and, and again, so what, what was your response as far as what how a parent could protect against that kind of thing? Yeah, there's lots of different things that a parent can do. So one thing is, you've got to, you've got to monitor that situation. And so what that means is you as a parent need to approve anything that gets downloaded, any application, game, etc, that gets downloaded onto your kid's phone.

And you need to make sure what's going on there. And what I mean by that is there are plenty of age appropriate games, for example. But all of them have private messaging and chat rooms.

That's where the predators are hanging out. So it might look like the kid is, you know, having a good time playing a game, no big deal. But it's the chat rooms where the predators are asking questions, trying to worm their way in. They'll, they'll be bold enough to ask for that kid's cell phone number, and now they've got direct access. And so you have to, as a parent, know what's going on.

There are parental control software programs like bark and canopy and several others that you can use. And if you've got young kids, I suggest getting a dumb phone instead of a smartphone. And dumb phones are very limited in what they'll do. They won't send pictures.

You don't have internet access, things like that. And finally, you've got to talk to the kids. You've got to have that awkward conversation. And it's an opportunity. You can look at it that way as a way to explain biblical values with your kid. And there are resources out there to help parents have those difficult conversations. Groups like thorn.org, defend young minds, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Wow.

Yeah. And as well as, you don't know this, but I actually host a show that just deals with us all the time called Land and Rescue. And with people that go around all the time dealing with these very issues. And so at landandrescue.org, there are a phenomenal amount of resources to help you have those discussions with your kids. Because it really does boil down to, you know, it's almost impossible to, if you become the bad guy in your kid's life, don't let him have a phone.

Don't let him get touched. Then all of a sudden, you know, they're going to go find a way to do that outside of your borders and outside of your relationship. And did you speak to that at all in your book, Jon?

Yeah, a little bit. It's a matter of having that relationship where you can explain what those dangers are, how the kid comes and talks to you when things are happening. And it could be where somebody says, hey, this person wants to be my friend on social media, but they're acting really strange. And you can sort of stop some of those things before they get into a bad way. Before they get into a bad situation. There are countless stories of kids sending pictures of themselves within 24 hours of being contacted by somebody on social media. That should be terrifying to every parent that it can happen that quickly.

So it's one of those things where having those conversations on a regular basis is going to be key. Yeah, because those pictures are leverage, right? Once you've sent that picture, then they will use that picture as leverage to get the kid to do all sorts of crazy stuff, because the kids are now ashamed and realize that they're in over their head.

And they don't want to come to somebody. And therein lies the whole deal. Like that where you rely on a relationship where the kids are like, Oh, wow, I wasn't supposed to give out my cell phone number. Wow, I wasn't supposed to do any pictures.

And now you're in trouble, right? Yeah, they're counting on that embarrassment. And, you know, predators are after one of three things. They either want to extort somebody for money, they want more explicit pictures of their from themselves for themselves to either have or trade, or they're going to want to meet some kind of physical encounter. And so, many times it starts out with something that, you know, may be a provocative picture. But as you say, they're sort of saying, well, if you don't send me something more revealing, I'm going to go and I know who's in your social network, I know who your parents are, I'm going to send them these pictures, etc.

They're blackmailing them into more content. And that's when you really want your kid to come and say, Okay, I made this mistake. It's a small mistake. I don't want to make it into a big mistake. And then they ask for help, because if they don't go to a trusted adult, it's just going to go downhill.

And then if there's explicit pictures, they're really hard to get off the internet. Once they're out of your control. Oh, yeah, it's a challenge. Well, we got to go to another break. But in the meantime, you know, if you just all of a sudden went, Wait a minute, I know which Bible predator was sweet on Samson, and you want to win one of these books, you call us at 866-348-7884.

You have some input on this conversation, you haven't experienced the story, we'd love to hear from you. 866-348-7884. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Kingdom Pursuits where we hear how God takes your passion and uses it to build the kingdom. Today we have John D. De Geronimo. That L has got me baffled, John, but I do love your last name. And at some point in time, I have to, is it Italian? It is. Say it one more time for me.

I know, I just admire the way you can do that. De Geronimo. There you go.

De Geronimo. I think I said it right for once, Nick. It can happen. All right. So very cool. We have Nancy is in Chapel Hill. She's got an answer for us. We've got questions. Nancy has the answer. Nancy, you're on Kingdom Pursuits. Good morning. Good morning, Robbie. I'm so glad you called.

I'm so always glad to hear your voice. Have you been thinking about Samson? Well, isn't it like the story with Delilah where she convinced the... Oh, she was a predator. There's no doubt she was. Yeah, to cut his hair. Find his where his strength was, right?

And she was sweet on Samson. So you've met all the criteria. In this case, yeah, I know you're going to be shocked to know you're exactly right. However, I would point out there was another predator for which I was thinking. Oh, okay. It's okay.

Don't give it away. Somebody else may want to call in an answer, but I love your answer, Nancy. Yeah. So do you actually live in Chapel Hill and not Durham? Yes, I live in Chapel Hill, even though I go to Peace Church in Durham. Yeah, that's because that's the church for me. It is the church for you. So for those of you listening, usually listen to the next show right after Kingdom Pursuits is Encouraging Prayer with Pastor James Banks. Well, just so you'll put it all together, James Banks is the pastor of Peace Church where Nancy goes. And so when I come visit Peace Church, I often meet Nancy, who is one phenomenal saint, has such a heart for other people. And you yourself work in a hospital, right?

Well, I do home health for UNC, and I, at present time, I'm also doing a food distribution to my homebound patients. Yes, you do. I got some peanut butter from you one time. I remember that. That's exactly what you do. So God bless you.

As always, I'm so thankful for you calling in today. And did Nick get your information so he could send out a book to you? Yes. And I am interested in who that other predator was for Samson now. I'll have to go dig it up. Well, I'll give you a hint. He himself created a riddle over it. I wasn't the first person to create a riddle over this predator. It was Daniel who created the first one. There you go.

That's a big hint. 866-348-7884. If nobody gives it, Nancy, I'll give it out before the end of the show, I promise. All right, great. Thanks for calling. It's always wonderful to listen to you. I learned so much from you, Robbie. You are a blessing.

And so are you, Nancy. God bless you. We will look forward to seeing you guys soon. I had a chance, by the way, next weekend, because James is going to be in Maine. But I was preaching somewhere else.

So soon, I'll be back in Chapel Hill, I hope. So God bless. You have a great week. Oh, good. All right. All right. You too. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. So getting back to Jon, when I think about this whole subject, as the technology increases, I don't know if you're aware of this, Jon, but the technology that we have now on the good side is also advancing, like, by leaps and bounds. And they've even changed the way that it's, you know, it used to be that it was called child pornography, but now they call it C-SPAM, or something along those lines, like it's child sexual...

I'm trying to think how it exactly goes. Maybe you know better than I do. But... Yeah, child sexual abuse material, or C-SAM.

Right, C-SAM, that's it. And so, like, the laws are changing fast, the technology is changing fast, and God is rising up people against this kind of thing. But, you know, I've heard horror stories, not just of little girls, but of little boys that were lured in by pictures of girls, and then got themselves in a situation, a horrible situation, of extortion, because they were the same thing. They got lured in by the shame of it, and then they had them to do what they wanted to do as far as extort them, right? Yeah, one of the examples I give in the book is how they specifically go after boys, and what they'll do is they will set up a fake profile of, say, an attractive college-age woman, and typically they'll use, you know, pictures, images downloaded from the internet or pornography sites, and they're going to send those pictures to that teenage boy without being asked, but then they're going to pressure him and say, hey, I've sent you, now you have to send me. And so he paves into that pressure, sends a picture of himself, and then immediately gets extorted for money, and they will do two things.

They will ask for more money as soon as they get the first payment, and two, they will threaten to send that picture around to that person's social media contacts and et cetera if they don't continue to do whatever that predator says. And so now that person is stuck, and they're going to feel trapped, and it goes back to our conversation about our relationship with the parents or some other trusted adult. If they keep it to themselves, they're probably not going to be able to solve this problem on their own. And what does it lead to? Well, it can lead to depression, cyberbullying, if it gets out, the pictures get out to their friends and family. It can also lead to self-harm.

Right, big time, suicide. It happens. Yeah, it happens more often than people think. And just, yeah, it's an eye-opening, like, oh my goodness. In a way, I know the first time I started hearing about this, I was like, man, I don't know that I want to know that, because it's such a trap. But fortunately, folks like you are getting the word out there, Land and Rescue, all sorts of resources.

And again, you, the listeners, as you know this, obviously share the information with people, with young children or teenage children or, you know, unfortunately, you know, now a lot of kids at five, six years old, guess what? You know, they're given complete access to crazy stuff through a smartphone, right? Exactly. And you can get access through games like Xbox. So they have internet access, they have chat rooms, etc. And so it's all part of making, unfortunately, it's made the job of the creditors easier, because they just literally have an unlimited amount of people they can try to contact. Right. So, you know, it's a real resource. And so I'm curious, you know, just to the other books that you've done, the one, it's not about the badge.

But then you've got the other two, right? It's not about the sex. What did that mean? That time? Yeah, so when I thought about human trafficking, I think you've got a situation where every American has kind of the same question is, how does someone get trapped? And why can't they leave? And so I wanted to answer the question through storytelling. So I interviewed four different people. One was an advocate who started a nonprofit to help victims of human trafficking. One was a law enforcement officer who worked on a federal task force, a survivor herself telling her story of perseverance and how to get your life back. And then I ended with a brothel madam's story of redemption. And so I don't think you see those kinds of very different perspectives on one topic, in one book, and it's all done through plot lines, stories, characters, action, dialogue, et cetera. And I end the book with tips for parents and what are the grooming signs, et cetera. So there is a little information at the end of the book.

Darrell Bock All right. Well, we're going to go to another break. Of course, you may have that other answer to the Samson question. We'd love to hear from you. 866-348-7884.

Maybe you got a question for John. 866-348-7884. We'll be right back with one more segment. Welcome back to Kingdom Pursuits, where we hear how God takes your passion and uses it to build the kingdom.

We have a short segment here. So if you were thinking about calling in about Samson, you better get to it. 866-348-7884. Which Bible predator was sweet on Samson? Which I love the Delilah answer. I had not thought of that one. Often I'm stumped by my own listeners. 866-348-7884. So John, as you were heading into this show today, what did you want to get said that you have not said?

John Yoo I think we've covered a lot of really good stuff. And I think probably the takeaway is that kids today, they're a different generation. And they view having 1,000 friends and followers on their social media as a goal. I see it as a problem. And they say that the average popular teenage high school girl can have up to 5,000 friends and followers.

And we live in kind of this celebrity-obsessed society where having somebody like my story or follow something that I've posted online, they're building their self-esteem with that. That feeds right into the predator playbook because predators are going to try to figure out what those kids are needing. And they're just going to affirm whatever that is and worm their way in. And parents just need to be kind of aware of that different mindset. It's a different generation than in the past when technology was kind of new to teenagers. Now, as you said, you see five-year-olds with smartphones or tablets. And you know that it's hard enough being savvy about predators when you're 15, let alone when they're five years old. So parents have to be active to protect their child.

Darrell Bock Right. And unfortunately, or I don't know if you want to look at it, there are lots of platforms. And some of those are highly toxic. In other words, I know a lot of young people, they tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. In fact, interestingly, my daughter told me at dinner the other night, who's now 25 and married, that she had just totally abandoned tick-tock because it was so addicting. And there's others that they talk about on Land and Rescue, and I forget the name of them, that literally, if you go there, it's almost like going to the dark web.

Are you familiar with any of those, John? John Well, the predators hang out where the kids are, and those are going to be programs like tick-tock, kick, Snapchat, Instagram, things like that. And I've done research, and I've seen some of these nonprofits will talk about how teenagers are saying that pictures just show up on their device, and they're explicit.

And I think parents are just shocked to find out about those kinds of things. And you know, these platforms, these programs are developing so quickly, it's really hard to keep up with that. And then you've got the newest issue, which is artificial intelligence, which is really, I think, gonna be a game changer in a bad way for parents trying to protect their kids.

Yeah, because obviously they're gonna use that artificial intelligence to troll with, but I guess on the other side, fortunately, law enforcement and lots of people are using artificial intelligence the other way to seek out the predators. So the battle is on, and prayer is a gigantic part of it, right? Our battle is not against flesh and blood, it's against spiritual forces in the high places, and those forces are what is dealing with both the predator and the prey.

And so we all have those opportunities in 2024 to be praying about that and thinking about it. But where can people get your resources? I put it up at kingdompersuits.com, but I wanna make sure people can get to your book, order your book, give you feedback on your book, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, all the books are sold on Amazon. They come in paperback and Kindle, and my book about trafficking also comes in an audio version, which is very popular. So I encourage your listeners to go to Amazon and check it out. So it's not about the predator, that's the one that's an audiobook as well? No, that's just in print. It's about 50-some pages long. I think most people can read it in probably 20 minutes. Which one is the trafficking book?

It's not about the sex. Okay, and then it's not about the badge as well, so those are the three books. And they're all there at his website, which again, I won't try to say his last name.

If you go to kingdompersuits.com, you'll see it's not about the predator, and there the link is to his website, all his books. And again, as I always mention on Kingdom Pursuits, when somebody steps out there and writes a book, like if you order it on Amazon and you go back and give them a good review, or just give them some feedback, this is where this book spoke to me or where it didn't speak to me, those things mean the world to somebody who's pouring their life into these resources. And it's just like, people like to get likes on their social media, authors. They like some feedback.

Obviously, God's given them the ultimate feedback, but that's a great thing. So John, thank you so much for being with us. Thank you for letting God use you in this way. Yeah, I really appreciate Robbie being on the show and having a chance to address these issues directly with your audience.

God bless, yes, thank you so much. Now, thank you for listening to The Truth Network, as we mentioned, encouraging prayers coming up, followed by The Masculine Journey, starts here now in Winston-Salem, and then it's time to man up with Nikita Koloff, who gave you the Russian sickle at 12.30. Stay tuned, so much truth coming at you on The Truth Network. This is The Truth Network.