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August 16, 2022 6:00 am
Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast our desire is for the word of God spread throughout so that only know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina lesions. Chapter 5 tonight were preaching on the subject of God designed the role of husbands. God told us how were supposed to do it and I while there leaves a lot of discussion, a lot of difference of opinions God pretty much makes it clear what he expects verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church, for we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife. It doesn't say wives it says wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband, father, we need your help tonight and Lord help us as men is husbands that our hearts and minds would be open and yet Lord through this instruction there so much for a wife to learn and so Lord I just pray you help us as we continue the series and Lord. I just pray that it would be helpful as your word always is in your name we pray.
We understand one thing before we before we go on before we dig into this. Everybody always makes this big deal of verse one from USA.
Verse one. The first verse we read in verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife that what we like to use that don't wing and I will use it when we wanted. The problem is when we use it often. We don't fully explain it and let me before we go give anything you gotta understand one thing. Here it it's kingdom authority. The Bible deals with kingdom authority all through the word of God were to deal with it more just a minute. But when the Bible speaks of headship in the hall.
In other words when he says that the husband is the head of the home anything, whether it be work or business or family or church whenever God talks about headship like the pastor always is the head of the church the husbands the head of the home and he goes on that you know as we even our employer that we ought to talk about that this morning that were supposed to give him what is due and was was to give our respect and submission that all those things. Whenever God talks about headship. I want you to understand one thing he speaks of it as that is different than we often take a listen to me when the Bible speaks of headship in the home.
It's not speaking of rights it. Speaking of responsibilities. Now you got to get that statement, I felt like it. Just when here came out here and it didn't settle.
Look at me when God says so and so is the head of anything. God is not saying because of that, you get about your rights. God is saying. Because of that you now have a bunch of responsibility to see where the head of the home in the desert me will because I'm mad at all. God got a bunch of rights know that's not why God put that in there at all. When you're the head of all. Now you have about your responsibilities. You don't walk around. They will have the right for this and I have the right for the economic head of gold is not why God put headship in the Bible God and put the headship at pastor, the head of the church doesn't mean I get a bunch of rights and you owe me something.
No listen when God made me the pastor or asked me to be the pastor of this church. That means that God just gave me a bunch responsibility when you're the head of anything. It doesn't mean that you got a bunch of rights. It means that you now have a great responsibility and we as men need to understand that that was being the head of the home does not mean out everybody's post about around us and and and we are owed something because were the head. Nothing could be further from the truth. It means now there's a greater load of responsibility on us because we are the head of the home.
There are none. Let me say this headship is not a chain of command at Salina responsibility. What is that mean preacher well-being ahead doesn't mean it's not all about.
Why can make the command snow. It means that you are held responsible. You see the difference.
A lot of times with a woman ahead. What that means black and tell everybody what to do when you're the head.
What it basically means is this God could hold you accountable. There's a difference. So dad's husband's men. You and I better understand one thing it it's not the greatest gift we've ever been given to be the head of the whole. It's a great responsibility is not just that we know to sit back and take it easy and everybody supposed to do everything for us.
It's not that way at all.
In fact, in this passage that we read there's three things. Remember, Christ is our example, look at me want to get this. That's why says that way talks about marriage. He said this is a great mystery how the two become one flesh, and he said this is a great writ mystery. I speak as concerning Christ and the church. That means this that Christ is our example, men the way Christ treated and love the church that is our example how we are to treat love our wives, you agree with that same in the Bible says that what is says that Christ is the head of the church all right. It also says that men are the head of the whole.
So Christ is our example so we got to see how Christ treated the charts and that's our example how we are to treat our lives. There's three things and others with three things really do it tonight but I see in this passage, Ludvig given to you and Rita do it very quickly. Number one I see servant leadership.
Number two I see sacrificial love and number three I see steadfast loyalty number one your taken OG to write this down servant leadership husbands. We are to participate in servant leadership that means this we are to lead by serving. We are to lead by humbling we are to be the example of a servant. You say were you get that look in verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife noticed this even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body that means this that Christ became a servant in order to win, to love, to redeem the church and give some of the verses prescribed in the 11 verse three says, but I would have you know, listen to me that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God, what is that mean Philippians chapter 2 verse six who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God. Listen to what Jesus did, but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a what servant, and was made in the likeness of men. Listen to me. The husband is responsible to meet the needs of his wife. Just as the Lord was responsible to meet the needs of the church. Jesus provided for us everything that was needed of your thought about that and men before we sit back and say wow that almost got shot of macchiato doesn't cannot say something the Bible says that Jesus gave himself for the church and he provided for the church, by the way he did all that and what of the church do in response. We rejected him.
We crucified him, and yet he kept loving son abounds with you. We as men really don't have a whole bunch talk about Dewey servant leadership, husbands and wives are equal. Just like God the father, God the son God the Holy Spirit.
The freer one.
They are equal.
God said enemies award you get that. Let me read your verse Galatians 328 there is neither junior or Greek, there is neither bond or free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus look at me folks. What is that mean that means that God has come up with a line of responsibility.
Christ is the head of the church man is the head of the whole. Okay, we got that what is that mean it does not mean that men are greater than women. It doesn't mean women are greater than man doesn't mean men are better women are better doesn't mean all that. In fact, this verse teaches that there is no male nor female were all one in the body of Christ. What that means is this God shows man to be the head of the home. Simply as a line of responsibility somebody has to be responsible and men where it in the way we are supposed to lead is the way Jesus led his church, not by bossing everybody around.
We are to lead by serving that's not real popular men where to be the servants were to show our love by serving, but he read your verse Luke chapter 22 beginning in verse 26. Listen to this, but ye shall not be so. But he that is greatest among you, let him be. As the younger and he that is chief as he that doth serve for whether is greater, he that sit at that meter he that servant is not he that sits at me but I am among you as he that servant Jesus said hey I'm here is a servant man.
It's our job in the home to display servant leadership masses without getting personal we have great examples in this church of husbands and wives and thrilled that my boys get to see good examples in marriage at this church.
And as they get around some of you and and get to witness as they get older I like for them to see couples that are strong and stable and they see happy marriages and say what our kids now they see enough unhappy marriages that they need to see something solid. You agree that your pastor in my pastor and his wife for the Joe they could not be a brighter example of what I'm talking to you about right now brother Joe leads by serving that includes his wife everywhere they go. Who has to get the wheelchair out to estimate the wheelchair down to estimate the wheelchair away who has to help you. This who has to do that. Who has to get out the rain and the wind, but the chair back up and covered up in different things and he's doing that for his wife. Now he is he the head of his home. Yeah sure is coming say somebody's a better head of his home to most of us are because he leads by serving and user church to be thankful that you have that example in our kids need to learn that what they see at home. Often times the man arguing complaining because he didn't get the respect you and get this and you don't do this and you don't treat me like such and then all the here's a wide complaint well you don't do this and you don't do that and they grow up, and they see that his marriage no longer people nowadays don't want Mary look what they've grown up. Oh dear friendless to me. Servant leadership, leader serve. Second, I see sacrificial love notice. If you would. Verse 25 husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church. How did he love the church. He gave himself that sacrificial and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word notices that he might present to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Sacrificial love number one resume preacher, how I love my wife, sacrificially, glad you asked. Number one, there is a passionate love. Look at verse 25 husbands, love your wives as well, as Christ loved the church. Could there be a more passionate love than the love Jesus has for his church. I mean, is there a greater love than that Jesus would willingly die on a cross suffer and die for us when we rejected him. I mean is one thing to say all die for my wife and you know she loves you but he died for us, with us, not loving him that's a passionate love, and so did listen to me. Men, what is that mean that means apart from your love for Jesus Christ, your spouse, your wife should be your highest and greatest love on earth. And I mean this respectfully not mama not hunting not fish and not golf not sports, not DV that has meaning those things wrong in this means is that your greatest most passionate love apart from Christ to be your wife. That ought to be the priority.
No matter what. Look at me. The church is Christ priority. He's passionate about that men are friends at work.
I do know we love our wife and if you work in an office that has limited office. They know all about your wife that is the pictures of your wife thou to hear you talk about your wife in a good way to your you want to talk a suspicious humor okay that I know you love your wife. That is sense and see a passionate love number two it's a purifying love look if you would've verse 26 that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present to himself a glorious church. Notice that not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
Husband is to be profit priest and pastor to his wife.
Please listen to me, the husband should be the spiritual leader that means is you want to sacrificially love your wife enough that you will become the spiritual leader that you will spend more time in the word of God than anybody else in the house and you will pray more than anybody else in the house and that you will seek God and you will be a leader and you will help pastor your wife who you are spiritually read the word of God with her at the home. The husband should be.
It should be a purifying love it out of me how to love his kids, his wife, his family so much that his goal in dream and desire is to bring purity into the home. Often it's men that bring the other, often it's the wife. This is turn that off, often as the wife is as we should do that often it's the wife. It says I don't think we let the kids do that.
The husband just got a nonchalantly well, what's the big deal was me meant to me today with the big deal is God to hold you responsible and how to be a purifying love to me go on quickly. Third, it's a protecting love Bible says this in verse 28 so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. God says this that you want to protect your wife like you would try to protect your own body is second nature to us if I've if somebody's mad at me and I see them do this and they get a and I get like this in a while they're doing to do some protect myself you know I don't want to get hit but if I do only hit back. And if somebody touches my ear only hit him anybody like me. I hate to me by touches my ears. What if I get Montgomery to fight. I should've never said that but if I punch you, you know you knew ahead of time. I don't like a protecting love. Husband is to protect his wife physically. Husband is protect his wife emotionally and a husband is to protect his wife spiritually.
The husband is to be the doorkeeper that means is for Satan to attack the family. Satan must first have to go through the husband you are to be the protector. We also got a bunch of guns in the house on protect and that's great that's wonderful and you should you want to be the spiritual protector to you want to guard the home you want to guard the wife and I would say some men somebody talk to your wife from treat your wife wrong. Yada yada take care of it does mean you shoot him, but as I like that but not may I say that your wife should have to be doing all the stuff you want to be the protector you want to protect her emotionally and and and and men.
Let me say it this way.
If I can, and women. That's why believe God says that you ought to be able to submit to your husband and men to love your wives, because me and we ought to be the protector look at me want to get this if your wife is involved in some activity, even if it's at the church where she is serving doing something and it is literally robbing her of her energy is literally driving her crazy. It is causing stress upon her life would get me men. It is up to you to notice that it is up to you to protect your wife from that kind of emotional abuse. You understand you as a husband. Come to me and you say, brother Daniel, my wife teaches so-and-so or my wife does so-and-so or my wife works in her share so-and-so an honest to God. Brother Daniel it is. It is literally stressing her out to the point that is affecting us at home.
First thing I would say is a passionate way listening you. We need to do something get her out of that situation because you was a husband to be the protector of that that doesn't mean we quit doing all bunch of things because we Salvesen was a good out. It stresses me out to look at me. Men near the protector and wives. If your husband comes to you and says listen this affecting every area of your life you need to get out of that. If she has a job that is absolutely ruining her life. She comes home miserable constantly men do something about it, get her out of that situation because you are to be the protector, your to watch over the family. Your protector spiritually got me PE sale printer what you talk about high cabling or Senate.
Look at me while I know husbands and wives right now that are not in church having been in church for years because the wife did something at church and she became so drained and so physically and emotionally abused and got to that point. Another out of church forever and tell you that to happen here got a grow at this church yet allow God of this church you want to be able to come to church and grow and serve men you are to be the protector for thing I see is this not only as a protecting love a poorly it's a providing love verse 29 for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church. The husband is to provide for his wife. Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, whatever it is, the words this one God says you are to love your wife like your own body. What is that mean that means men. If it takes us sacrificing something we want to get something that our wife needs. That's exactly what we ought to do while that means if my wife need something and I found a good deal of oh, that means we work something out. Right fellas. That's right, not means we put our wife first so I don't think that's fair because I really get a lot of listening hey guess what, you're the head of the home will use it, then doing you know that means if anybody is to sacrifice the head of the home should if anybody's going to provide ahead of the home should if anybody's got a servant of the home should were to be the example were to be the leader. This is is convicting for me as I hope it is for you there thing I see in this passage. Is this steadfast loyalty. Look at verse 30 for we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his ballroom to what God said about marriage, the two become one. They become one flesh. 31 for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church notices nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself steadfast loyalty men. I know that we know this, but can I remind you when you said, I do. You did, that's it. And your dying breath should do everything you can do to love that wife brothers always exceptions, there's always things that happened theirs and I understand but but I have counseled people enough to know this, you better do everything human possible to salvage that marriage to love that wife know why you're the head is not about your rights. It's a responsibility. This Bible says that the two become one flesh. As Christ gave himself for the church.
He had steadfast loyalty to his church. Look at me.
We as a church have not been steadfastly loyal to him. How many times have you as a Christian God away from God, backslid, got away, came back, got away came back out right. How many times have you turned your back on him basically cheated on him.
He's never done that to us so that means there's that he is say. He says you man you hello my wife like I love the charge even though the church is run around on me and I think the problem Hosea that God used that an unfaithful wife to show the love that Jesus as his charge, fellas. Not the kind of love God expects from doesn't sound too easy does it for this whole thing a man a man picking what changes done when you find out the example that Christ gave us men. We have a great responsibility for we go tonight.
I want to give you a couple things that I guess you'd call some practical advice to be in the good kind of husband and I want to go back to this passage that we have read this might be one of the last times we can use this passage if you want to turn to it.
You can just two versus first Peter chapter 3 we've use this the last couple weeks but I say this because I wanted to show you these things tonight as we talk about the role of a husband you know the verse on viridity again like why she husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as under the weaker vessel and is being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.
Finally, be all of one mind, having compassion, one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous, number one last time to deal with this passage. Number one sable preacher.
I got a have sacrificial love. I've got a have got to have steadfast loyalty. I got exercise.
Servant leadership while how can I do that number one at this passage.
This makes it very clear number one you need to practice togetherness and intimacy with your wife.
You need to practice intimacy with your wife see preacher. What does that mean look at that verse. Likewise, she husbands were the next three words dwell with them. That means this doesn't just mean we live in the same house. It means that we stay close and husbands.
You have got to practice intimacy with your wife listen to me, the deep need of a woman's heart is total togetherness with her husband. That's a need that a woman has she has to feel that total togetherness. You know the Latin word for intimacy means. In most that means this is an opening up in a sharing is a will, how would anybody mean practice intimacy with my wife is what is ME number one. It means verbal intimacy. That means that you share your secret sure hope your dreams, your plans with enemy man that to be shared with your wife, not some woman at work that are to be shared with your wife you want to talk to her yet until your dreams you say will I do if I even try.
She don't care hopelessly fellas. God's is it a matter got is this what you're supposed to do. That means you gotta be intimate. We got a dwell with them according to knowledge. You gotta say.) What the word when God says you know that Emmaus was to leave his father, mother and cleave unto his wife.
It's a constant pursuing Lord Cleve means that means is that we got to try as men to stay close to our why verbal intimacy cannot say, oftentimes why husbands and wives are close.
They don't talk they just don't talk to each other. They live in the same house they love each other and their loyal but they don't talk men we don't like to talk sometimes as much and there are occasions when a woman doesn't like to talk as much but you gotta do that.
There's verbal intimacy.
Secondly, there is emotional intimacy that the laughing together that's crying together that Sherry Harding Joyce fears. That means that you're not scared to kind of expose yourself emotionally to your spouse on the taste of night, my wife will tell you I cry a lot around her. I do. I mean, you know she gets me a headlock. Sometimes it hurts and I cry Assam sorry we have closeness after they know word were together after I do will drive the car and that you know I'm just that way that you know it. As I've gone through the husbands and wife relationship and your average man your average woman. My wife and I are absolutely swamped on a lot of things and a lot of things that I'm not like the normal guy and she is not like a normal woman were both superhuman. You know it I'm just for both extraordinary know were not. But I say this that we oftentimes we were just were different like that you know what, I'm the kind I want to share.
I want to open up. I want to tell her I've got to tell somebody that's just me. I gotta tell somebody when I'm thinking what I'm feeling in this Bible tells me gotta be my wife said of somebody else menu. Gotta talk to your wife. You gotta talk through verbally. You gotta share emotional intimacy. Thirdly, you gotta have intellectual intimacy intellectual industries where you share ideas, your interest may be in books and politics theology maybe just church maybe Bible means intellectually. You gotta be able to talk, share things. That's how you get close next to be social intimacy. Gotta have the same friends enjoy the same kinds of recreation and some you women say I'm going to endear standard and say you had to some of the men are saying no don't understand, so it was a get away from her tomorrow. Thank you for listening to you received a blessing from our broadcast Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Rd. in Kernersville, NC may also contact us by phone at 33699351924 Kerwin Baptist Church.com enjoy our services line molar medium honor website and church.
Thank you for listening. Kerwin broadcast God bless you