Kerwin Baptist Church Daily Broadcast

Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ.

Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church located in Kernersville, North Carolina. And that's how we're supposed to do it. And while there leaves a lot of discussion, a lot of difference of opinions, God pretty much makes it clear what He expects. Verse 23, For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

But that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no one man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife. It doesn't say wives, it says wife, even as himself.

And the wife see that she reverence her husband. Father, we need Your help tonight. And Lord, help us as men, as husbands, that our hearts and minds would be open. And yet, Lord, through this instruction, there's so much for a wife to learn. And so, Lord, I just pray You'd help us as we continue this series.

And Lord, I just pray that it would be helpful as Your Word always is, in Your name we pray, Amen. We've got to understand one thing before we go on, before we dig into this. Everybody always makes this big deal of verse 1, I mean I say verse 1, the first verse we read verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife. Now, boy, we like to use that, don't we? And we use it when we want it.

The problem is when we use it often we don't fully explain it. And let me, before we go give anything you've got to understand one thing here, it's kingdom authority. The Bible deals with kingdom authority all through the Word of God.

We're going to deal with it more in just a minute. But when the Bible speaks of headship in the home, in other words when He says that the husband is the head of the home. And anything whether it be work, or business, or family, or church, whenever God talks about headship, like the pastor obviously is the head of the church. The husband is the head of the home.

And he goes on that you know as we, even our employer that we ought to, I talked about that this morning that we're supposed to give him what is due, and we're supposed to give our respect and submission to that, all those things. Whenever God talks about headship I want you to understand one thing, He speaks of it as different than we often take it. Now listen to me, when the Bible speaks of headship in the home it's not speaking of rights, it's speaking of responsibilities. Now you've got to get that statement.

I felt like it just went here, came out here, and it didn't settle. Look at me, when God says so and so is the head of anything. God is not saying because of that you get a bunch of rights. God is saying because of that you now have a bunch of responsibility. You see when we're the head of the home man that doesn't mean well because I'm the head of the home now I've got a bunch of rights.

No that's not why God put that in there at all. When you're the head of home now you have a bunch of responsibilities. You don't walk around saying well I have the right for this and I have the right for that because I'm the head of the home, that's not why God put headship in the Bible. God didn't put the headship pastor as the head of the church, doesn't mean that I get a bunch of rights and you owe me something.

No listen when God made me the pastor or asked me to be the pastor of this church that means that God just gave me a bunch of responsibilities. When you're the head of anything it doesn't mean that you've got a bunch of rights it means that you now have a great responsibility. And we as men need to understand that that us being the head of the home does not mean now that everybody is supposed to bow down to us and we are owed something because we're the head.

Nothing could be further from the truth. It means now there's a greater load of responsibility on us because we are the head of the home. There are, let me say this headship is not a chain of command it's a line of responsibility.

What does that mean preacher? Well being the head doesn't mean it's not all about well I can make the commands, no. It means that you are held responsible.

Do you see the difference? A lot of times we think well I'm the head well that means well I can tell everybody what to do, uh-uh. When you're the head what it basically means is this God's going to hold you accountable and there's a difference. So dads, husbands, men you and I better understand one thing it's not the greatest gift we've ever been given to be the head of the home. It's a great responsibility. It's not just that we you know just sit back and take it easy and everybody's supposed to do everything for us.

It's not that way at all. In fact in this passage that we read there's three things and remember Christ is our example. Now look at me I want you to get this that's why he says that when he talks about marriage he said this is a great mystery how the two become one flesh.

And he said this is a great mystery I speak as concerning Christ and the church. That means this that Christ is our example how we love our men. The way Christ treated and loved the church that is our example how we are to treat and love our wives. You agree with that say amen. The Bible says that what it says that Christ is the head of the church alright. It also says that men are the head of the home. So Christ is our example. So we've got to see how Christ treated the church and that's our example how we are to treat our wives. There's three things and others but three things we're going to deal with tonight that I see in this passage.

I'm going to go ahead and give them to you and then we're going to deal with them very quickly. Number one I see servant leadership. Number two I see sacrificial love and number three I see steadfast loyalty. Number one if you're taking notes you need to write this down servant leadership. Husbands we are to participate in servant leadership. That means this we are to lead by serving. We are to lead by humbling. We are to be the example of a servant.

You say where do you get that? Look at verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, notice this, even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. That means this that Christ became a servant in order to win, to love, to redeem the church. Let me give you some other verses. 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 says but I would have you know that listen to me, that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.

Now what does that mean? Philippians chapter 2 verse 6 who being in the form of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God, listen to what Jesus did, but made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a what? Servant and was made in the likeness of men. Listen to me the husband is responsible to meet the needs of his wife just as the Lord was responsible to meet the needs of the church. Jesus provided for us everything that was needed. Have you ever thought about that? And men before we sit back and say well I'm the head of the home bless God she ought to blah and she ought to this and blah blah blah.

Can I tell you something? The Bible says that Jesus gave himself for the church and he provided for the church. By the way he did all that and what did the church do in response? We rejected him. We crucified him. And yet he kept loving.

So I'm going to be honest with you we as men really don't have a whole bunch to talk about do we? Servant leadership. Husbands and wives are equal. Just like God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit the three are one they are equal. God said and you say well where do you get that?

Well let me read you a verse Galatians 3.28 there is neither Jew nor Greek there is neither bond nor free there is neither male nor female for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Look at me folks what does that mean? That means that God has come up with a line of responsibility. Christ is the head of the church.

Man is the head of the home. Okay we got that. What does that mean? It does not mean that men are greater than women. It doesn't mean women are greater than men. It doesn't mean men are better, women are better.

It doesn't mean all that. In fact this verse teaches that there is no male nor female we are all one in the body of Christ. What that means is this God chose men to be the head of the home simply as a line of responsibility.

Somebody has to be responsible. And men we're it. And the way we are supposed to lead is the way Jesus led his church. Not by bossing everybody around. We are to lead by serving.

Now that's not real popular. We are to be the servants. We are to show our love by serving. Let me read you a verse Luke chapter 22 beginning in verse 26 listen to this. But ye shall not be so. But he that is greatest among you let him be as the younger. And he that is chief as he that doth serve. For weather is greater he that sitteth at meat or he that serveth. Is not he that sitteth at meat but I am among you as he that serveth. And he that sitteth at meat but I am among you as he that serveth.

But he that sitteth at meat but I am among you as he that serveth. Men it's our job in the home to display servant leadership. May I say this without getting personal we have great examples in this church of husbands and wives and I'm thrilled that my boys get to see good examples in marriage at this church and as they get around some of you and get to witness as they get older I like for them to see couples that are strong and stable and they see happy people that are strong and marriages.

And I tell you what, our kids nowadays see enough unhappy marriages that they need to see something solid, do you agree? But your pastor, and my pastor, and his wife, Brother Joe, they could not be a brighter example of what I'm talking to you about right now. Brother Joe leads by serving, and that includes his wife. Everywhere they go who has to get the wheelchair out? Who has to put the wheelchair down? Who has to put the wheelchair away? Who has to help do this? Who has to do that?

Who has to get out in the rain and the wind and put the chair back up and cover it up and different things? And he's doing that for his wife. Now is he the head of his home?

Yeah, he sure is. Let me tell you something, he's a better head of his home than most of us are, because he leads by serving. And you as a church ought to be thankful that you have that example. And our kids need to learn that. What they see at home often times is the man arguing and complaining because he doesn't get the respect, and he doesn't get this, and you don't do this, and you don't treat me like such. And then all they hear is the wife complaining, well you don't do this, and you don't do that. And they grow up and they see that as marriage. No wonder people nowadays don't want marriage.

Look what they've grown up in. Oh, dear friends, listen to me, servant leadership. A leader serves. Second, I see sacrificial love. Notice if you would verse 25. Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church. How did He love the church? He gave Himself, that's sacrificial, and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word.

Notice this, that He might present to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Sacrificial love. Number one, you say, well preacher, how do I love my wife sacrificially?

Glad you asked. Number one, there is a passionate love. Look at verse 25. Husbands love your wives as what? As Christ loved the church. Could there be a more passionate love than the love Jesus has for His church? I mean, is there a greater love than that Jesus would willingly die on a cross, suffer, and die for us when we rejected Him? I mean, it's one thing to say I'll die for my wife when you know she loves you, but He died for us with us not loving Him.

That's a passionate love. And so listen to me men, what does that mean? That means apart from your love for Jesus Christ, your spouse, your wife should be your highest and greatest love on earth.

And I mean this respectfully, not mama, not hunting, not fishing, not golf, not sports, not TV. It doesn't mean any of those things are wrong. It just means this, that your greatest, most passionate love apart from Christ ought to be your wife. That ought to be the priority no matter what. Look at me, the church is Christ's priority.

He's passionate about that. Men, our friends at work ought to know we love our wife. And if you work in an office that has women in that office, they ought to know all about your wife. They ought to see pictures of your wife. They ought to hear you talking about your wife in a good way. So yeah, you're one to talk.

Hey, it's just humor, okay? They ought to know you love your wife. They ought to sense and see a passionate love.

Number two, it's a purifying love. Look if you would at verse 26, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. That he might present to himself a glorious church.

Notice that not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing. A husband is to be prophet, priest, and pastor to his wife. Listen to me, the husband should be the spiritual leader. That means this, you ought to sacrificially love your wife enough that you will become the spiritual leader. That you will spend more time in the Word of God than anybody else in the house. And you'll pray more than anybody else in the house. And that you will seek God, and you will be a leader, and you will help pastor your wife. Lead her spiritually.

Read the Word of God with her. At the home the husband should be a purifying love. He ought to love his kids, his wife, his family so much that his goal and dream and desire is to bring purity into the home. Often it's men that bring the other. Often it's the wife that says, turn that off. Often it's the wife that says, we shouldn't do that. Often it's the wife that says, I don't think we ought to let the kids do that.

The husband just kind of nonchalantly, well, what's the big deal? Listen to me, men, let me tell you what the big deal is, God's going to hold you responsible. It ought to be a purifying love.

Let me go on quickly. Third, it's a protecting love. The Bible says this in verse 28, so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. God says this, that you ought to protect your wife like you would try to protect your own body.

It is second nature to us. If somebody's mad at me and I see them do this, and they get like this, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do something to protect myself.

You know why? I don't want to get hit. But if I do I'm going to hit back. And if somebody touches my ear I'm going to hit them. Anybody like me, I hate when somebody touches my ears, but if they hit my, I'm ready to fight.

I should have never said that. But if I punch you, you know, you knew ahead of time, I don't like it. A protecting love. A husband is to protect his wife physically. A husband is to protect his wife emotionally. And a husband is to protect his wife spiritually.

The husband is to be the doorkeeper. That means it's for Satan to attack the family, Satan must first have to go through the husband. You are to be the protector. We all say, well, I've got a bunch of guns in the house, I'm protecting.

That's great, that's wonderful, and you should. But you ought to be the spiritual protector too. You ought to guard the home. You ought to guard the wife. And I'm going to tell you something men, somebody talks to your wife wrong, treats your wife wrong, you ought to take care of it. That doesn't mean you shoot them.

I didn't say like that. But may I say that your wife shouldn't have to be doing all this stuff. You ought to be the protector.

You ought to protect her emotionally. And men, let me say it this way if I can. And women, that's why I believe God says that you ought to be able to submit to your husband, and men ought to love your wives, because men we ought to be the protector. And look at me, I want you to get this, if your wife is involved in some activity even if it's at the church where she is serving, doing something and it is literally robbing her of her energy, it is literally driving her crazy, it is causing stress upon her life. Look at me men, it is up to you to notice that. And it is up to you to protect your wife from that kind of emotional abuse.

Do you understand? You as a husband come to me and you say, Brother Daniel, my wife teaches so-and-so, or my wife does so-and-so, or my wife works in the nursery or so-and-so. And honest to God, Brother Daniel, it is literally stressing her out to the point that it is affecting us at home.

The first thing I would say is the pastor would say, well listen, we need to do something, get her out of that situation. Because you as the husband ought to be the protector of that. Now that doesn't mean we quit doing all bunch of things because we say all of a sudden, well that's a good out, it stresses me out.

No, look at me. Men, you're the protector. And wives, if your husband comes to you and says, listen, this is affecting every area of your life, you need to get out of that.

If she has a job that is absolutely ruining her life, and she comes home miserable constantly, men, do something about it. Get her out of that situation. Because you are to be the protector. You're to watch over the family.

You're to protect her spirits. Look at me, you say, well preacher, what are you talking about? I can't believe you're saying that. Look at me, I know husbands and wives right now that are not in church, haven't been in church for years, because the wife did something at church and she became so drained and so physically and emotionally abused and it got to that point that now they're out of church forever.

And I'm telling you, I don't want that to happen here. You ought to grow at this church. You ought to love God at this church.

You ought to be able to come to church and grow and serve. Men, you are to be the protector. Fourth thing I see is this, not only is it protecting love, but fourthly, it's a providing love.

Look at verse 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherishth it, even as the Lord the church. The husband is to provide for his wife, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, whatever it is. In other words this, when God says you ought to love your wife like your own body, what does that mean? That means men, if it takes us sacrificing something we want to get something that our wife needs, that's exactly what we ought to do. Wow. That means if my wife needs something and I found a good deal on a bow, that means we work something out, right fellas?

That's right. No, it means we put our wife first. You say, well I don't think that's fair because I don't really get a lot. Oh, listen to me, hey guess what, you're the head of the home. Ha-ha-ha. Oh, we don't like to use it then, do we?

You know what that means? If anybody's going to sacrifice, the head of the home should. If anybody's going to provide, the head of the home should.

If anybody's going to serve, the head of the home should. We're to be the example. We're to be the leader.

This is as convicting for me as I hope it is for you. Third thing I see in this passage is this, steadfast loyalty. Look at verse 30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Remember what God said about marriage, the two become one. They become one flesh. 31, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Notice this, nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself. Steadfast loyalty. Men, I know that we know this, but can I remind you, when you said I do, you did.

You did. And that's it. And your dying breath should do everything that you can do to love that wife. Now, there's always exceptions. There's always things that happen. And I understand that.

But I have counseled people enough to know this, you better do everything human possible to salvage that marriage and to love that wife. You know why? You're the head.

It's not a bunch of rights, it's a responsibility. This Bible says that the two become one flesh, and as Christ gave himself for the church, he had steadfast loyalty to his church. Look at me. We as a church have not been steadfastly loyal to him. How many times have you as a Christian gone away from God, back slid, gotten away, came back, gotten away, came back, got right? How many times have you turned your back on him, basically cheated on him?

He's never done that to us. So that means this, that he says, men, you gotta love that wife like I love the church, even though the church has run around on me. And I even think of the prophet Hosea that God used, that had an unfaithful wife to show the love that Jesus has for his church. Fellas, that's the kind of love God expects from a husband.

Doesn't sound too easy, does it? Boy, this whole thing, man, the man's the king. Boy, it changes, doesn't it? When you find out the example that Christ gave us, men, we have a great responsibility.

Before we go tonight, I want to give you a couple things that I guess you would call it some practical advice to be in the good kind of husband. And I'm gonna go back to this passage that we have read. This might be one of the last times we've kind of used this passage. If you want to turn to it, you can. It's just two verses, 1 Peter 3.

We've used this the last couple weeks. But I've saved this because I wanted to show you these things tonight as we talk about the role of a husband. You know the verse, let me read it to you again. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as under the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another. Love as brethren be pitiful, be courteous, number one. Last time we're gonna deal with this passage, number one, disabled preacher, all right, I've got to have sacrificial love, I've got to have steadfast loyalty, I've got to exercise servant leadership, how can I do that?

Number one, at this passage this makes it very clear. Number one, you need to practice togetherness and intimacy with your wife. You need to practice intimacy with your wife. See preacher, what does that mean?

Look at that verse. Likewise ye husbands, what are the next three words? Dwell with them. That means this, it doesn't just mean we live in the same house, it means that we stay close. And husbands, you have got to practice intimacy with your wife. Listen to me, the deep need of a woman's heart is total togetherness with her husband. That's a need that a woman has.

She has to feel that total togetherness. You know that the Latin word for intimacy means inmost. That means this, it's an opening up and a sharing. You say, well how, what do you mean, what do you mean, practice intimacy with my wife, preacher, what does that mean?

Number one, it means verbal intimacy. That means that you share your secrets, your hopes, your dreams, your plans. Listen to me man, that ought to be shared with your wife, not some woman at work. That ought to be shared with your wife.

You ought to talk to her, you ought to tell her your dreams, you say, well I do, if I even try she don't care. Oh listen to me fellas, God says it doesn't matter, God says this is what you're supposed to do. That means you've got to be intimate, you got to dwell with Him according to knowledge. You've got to stay close, remember what the word, when God says that a man is supposed to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.

It's a constant pursuing the word cleave means. That means this, that we've got to try as men to stay close to our wives. Verbal intimacy. Can I tell you oftentimes why husbands and wives aren't close? They don't talk. They just don't talk to each other. They live in the same house, they love each other, and they're loyal, but they don't talk. Men, we don't like to talk sometimes as much. And there are occasions where the woman doesn't like to talk as much, but you've got to do that. There's verbal intimacy, secondly there's emotional intimacy. That's a laughing together, that's crying together, that's sharing heartaches, joys, fears. That means that you're not scared to kind of expose yourself emotionally to your spouse.

I'm going to tell you something, my wife will tell you I cry a lot around her. I do. I mean you know she gets me in a headlock sometimes and it hurts. And I cry, I say I'm sorry, and we have closeness after that, you know we're together after that.

I do. We'll drive in the car and you know I'm just that way. You know as I've gone through the husband and wife relationship and your average man and your average woman, my wife and I are absolutely swapped on a lot of things. I mean a lot of things that I'm not like the normal guy and she is not like the normal woman. We're both super human, you know I'm just not.

We're both extraordinary, no we're not. But can I say this, often times we're different like that. And you know what, I'm the kind, I want to share, I want to open up, I want to tell her, I've got to tell somebody, that's just me. I've got to tell somebody what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. And this Bible tells me it ought to be my wife instead of somebody else. I mean you've got to talk to your wife.

You've got to talk to her verbally. You've got to share emotional intimacy. Thirdly, you've got to have intellectual intimacy. Intellectual intimacy is where you share ideas, your interest maybe in books, and politics, theology, maybe just church, maybe Bible. That means intellectually you've got to be able to talk, share things. That's how you get close. Next it ought to be social intimacy.

You ought to have the same friends, enjoy the same kinds of recreation and hobbies. Some of you women say, I ain't going to a deer stand, I didn't say you had to. And some of the men are saying, no don't tell her to come to the deer stand. It's the only place I can get away from her, don't ruin it. Thank you for listening today. We hope you've received a