Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church, located in Kernersville, North Carolina. Yeah. Romans chapter 12.
Appreciate Brother Jacob. Um reading uh this morning. Romans chapter 12, and he read verse 14, and then of course verse 17. through 21. Our subject today is handling your hurt.
Now I'm sure nobody in here has ever been hurt by anybody. But just appease me, I have.
So we want to look at the Bible. And we want to see what the Bible has to say. about this. Let me put it this way. I really don't care what any book says.
how you're supposed to handle something. I really care what the Bible says. About how you're to handle things. And it happens. And so I want you to remember that, okay?
It's interesting in verse 14, we're given a number of lists in chapter 12 of things, Christian living. Literally, about the fact that now that we're saved, we're new creatures, but we ought to act different, we ought to talk different, things ought to be different in our lives. In verse 14, obviously Paul shares, hey, you know, you should Bless them which persecute you. No, that doesn't make a lot of sense. Then he says, bless and curse not.
And so what does it mean? It means that talking about response here. He said They persecute you. You're to bless them. In fact, he said you're to bless them instead of cursing them, because cursing is what you're going to feel like doing.
Blessing them is what you're not going to feel like doing. And the whole point of chapter 12 is for us to realize that with God's help, We can overcome what would be a natural response and we can respond biblically. Can I have an amen right there? But this particular in a list. He feels the need to really break this down, and he begins in verse 17 to end this chapter.
In other words, I kind of feel. That this particular principle of when you're done wrong, when people have done wrong by you, that of all things that you're going to need God's help with. It's going to be this. And so verses 17 all the way really down to the end. He deals with this because it's something that we need to understand.
And let me just say this morning. Every person eventually faces unfair treatment. Many of you here have. I think all of you here have, to be honest with you. It just might be that all of us here at some point have inflicted unfair.
Treatment. Whether we meant to or not. Um we face it everywhere in life. but for some reason it magnifies itself in church. Listen, I have been treated unfairly at Walmart.
I know that might surprise you, but. Guess who still goes to Walmart every once in a while? Me. And I don't really like to, but you know. I've been untreated fairly eating out in a restaurant a time or two in my life.
But guess who still eats out, all right? And but for some reason. When it happens at church. Oh my goodness. You know, now we're mad at God, we're mad at church, we're mad at everybody.
And um I don't know why, but that's just the way it is. Um You can get betrayed in a way that you didn't deserve. You can have people say things that wound you. It could be false accusation. You can be.
Feel overlooked at church. You can feel rejected by certain groups. Or friends' circles, or whatever at church, you can kind of feel forgotten. Nobody called me, nobody came to visit me. We still, as a staff, haven't been able to figure it out.
That if we don't call, people get offended that you, you know, if you do, then they feel like, why are you checking up on me and why are you giving me a hard time? You know, I only missed two Sundays, you know. Hey, I'm sorry. You know, you offend them if you call, you offend them if you don't call. And so it's just one of those things, if you want to be hurt, you will.
Look at me folks. If we want to be hurt, we will. And um One of the greatest battles in the Christian life is learning to endure hurt. But I believe the greatest battle is learning how to respond correctly when you're hurt. It's one thing to endure it.
It's another thing to kind of control how you react to it. Anybody can react in the flesh. But only a spirit-filled believer. can respond biblically. You're not going to do it naturally.
It's gonna take the Holy Spirit.
Now, you might say, Well, preacher, I'm just a calm-natured person. It didn't normally give me it.
Well, that's good. And maybe there are portions of the time that you can naturally react that way, but I'm gonna tell you. Satan's going to get your gourd. And before long, you're going to have one of those times where you don't respond exactly right. You're going to need.
The Holy Spirit given power in your life. uh to face this. Paul teaches in uh Romans chapter 12 this Microphone is really itching me today. In Romans chapter 12, that when wrong comes against us, Now listen to me. This all through this chapter There is the principle that You and I do not have to be consumed or overwhelmed by something.
We can overcome that. with good or with God's help or with righteousness. And, you know, what did the choir sing? Hey, there's a remedy. You got a problem in your life?
There is a remedy.
Now, you might not want to take that remedy because most people want to try everything else but God. But there is a remedy. What do the choirs sing? We serve the overcomer.
Okay?
So the whole point in verse 21 is: be not overcome of evil. But overcome evil with good. And so Paul is teaching us in this chapter that this is possible with God's help. And you and I need to learn how to be Over commerce. And we need to learn that we do not have to be overcome by Evil, we don't have to be overcome by bitterness.
We don't have to be overcome by reaction. We don't have to be overcome by our own feelings that we can overcome those things with God's help. It's kind of an action versus reaction. As Christians, we're to act, not just react. And so God gives us a better way.
So I want to walk you very plainly, very biblically. I just happen to know I'm in church, so probably just about every person sitting here needs this. today. I will be honest with you, I look forward to preaching about Being hurt about handling your hurt because I know everybody needs this. I dread preaching on giving or something like that.
That's a totally different thing. But usually you preach on hurt. Everybody kind of is open to that because nobody wants to feel. like they feel sometimes. Listen, I don't want to have to have something that's always on my mind that somebody's done wrong to me.
I don't want to go through life that way. You don't want to go through life that way, but we struggle. We're human, we're flesh. And so Sometimes it helps to know systematically this is what the Bible says you need to do. These are the priorities.
This is what you have to be careful about. And so let's pray and ask God to... Allow the Holy Spirit to open this passage to us today. Lord, I love you. And Lord, I love this church and I know Satan hates it.
And so I... I'm certainly aware how Satan works to try to hurt churches, and this is one thing he uses more than anything. Our feelings. He uses hurt. And Lord, I pray that you would allow us to see that victory's already been given, the plan's already been stated, but.
Lord, we fight our own flesh, and so I pray that you'd help us today. As we look to your word, we love you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Number one, I love how in verse 14, here's the principle, but verse 17, let's just go step by step.
Number one, when you're hurt and when you're handling hurt.
Now we can talk all day about whether or not you should have been hurt by that. And by the way, I can look at my wife sometimes and say, listen, you shouldn't have been hurt by what I said. It doesn't matter whether she should have been or shouldn't have been. The reality is, she was. And we can sit here and say, listen, I know a lot of preachers sit here and blast you because you're hurt by something.
The reality is, you were hurt. Whether we should or shouldn't been, we're all sensitive in certain ways. We all have our weaknesses. But when we are dealing with hurt, What do we need to keep our mind on? What's the first steps we need to take?
I want you to notice, number one. Paul says for us to refuse revenge. The first thing, and here's why, because it's probably going to be our first reaction. that first initial response. Look at verse 14 and then verse 17.
He says, Bless them which persecute you. Bless and curse not. Curse not. Look at verse 17. Recompense to no man evil.
For evil. In other words, you have to determine and you have to decide right now that you are going to refuse revenge.
Now, sometimes you find it easier out in public life than you do in your own house. With your husband or your wife. or even with your parents or your children. But Paul says here, you are going to have to make sure you do not respond to a person the way they treated you. You need to understand that you should never give evil back when somebody has given evil to you.
Now, Paul begins with the natural temptation of the flesh. If they hurt me, I'm going to hurt them back. That is our natural response. And Paul says, our tendency is to curse those who persecute us. Our tendency is to wish evil back to those who have done evil to us.
But listen to me this morning. Retaliation never heals anything. No, I know it feels good for a minute. It feels fantastic. I know it feels good for a minute.
But retaliation never heals hurt. Listen to me, it multiplies it. You say, Preacher, can you explain that? I'll be glad to. I want you to notice just a couple things I want to share with you under that.
Number one is this: revenge corrupts your spirit. Revenge will corrupt your spirit. Proverbs 16, verse 32. Notice, He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit. than he that taketh a city.
In other words, a strong individual controls their spirit. It doesn't take a strong individual to just let somebody have it because they, no, that's a weak individual. A strong individual keeps control of their own spirit. Listen, when we answer evil with evil, we slowly become what wounded us. We become them.
Everybody got that. Say amen. When we respond evil for evil, we become that person. We become the very thing that hurt us. Hurt people often hurt people.
People have been hurt. Often. hurt people. Let me put this on the screen because I want you to make sure you understand this. Bitterness.
Changes your spirit. Anger. Changes your heart. It poisons your heart. Resentment changes your soul.
It hardens your soul. Nobody wins in this. You know, the greatest victory is not conquering another person. The greatest victory is conquering your spirit.
So revenge corrupts your spirit. You need to remember that. Number two is that revenge continues the cycle. And this is the main problem. When you and I recompense evil for evil, it means the process never stops.
That means this person did wrong to me.
Now I'm going to do wrong back to them.
Well, then that's going to make them want to do wrong back to me.
Well, now I've been wrong twice, not just the first time.
So now I'm going to come back at them.
Now they feel they've been wrong twice. And before long, guess what? We have a cycle going on in our life. We have a cycle going on in our marriage. Proverbs chapter 20.
Verse 22, it says this, say not thou, I will recompense evil. Don't allow yourself to say, well, I'm going to get them. But wait on the Lord, and he shall save thee. Any questions on that? The flesh says get even.
The flesh says make them feel what you felt. But revenge keeps the wound alive. Every, listen to me, every act of revenge creates another act of revenge. And the cycle never stops, which means what? Only grace.
can stop the cycle. Let me put it this way. Somebody has to have some grace. Or it's never going to end.
Somebody has to stop the response.
Somebody has to stop the talk.
Somebody has to stop the gossip.
Somebody has to stop the cycle.
Somebody has to trust God enough to stop. and wait and let God handle it. Holding bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die. Revenge feels powerful in the moment. but it slowly destroys the person that's carrying it.
Let me mention this. I thought this was good. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light. Can drive out darkness.
Refuse. Revenge. First thing. First thing. You find out, you hear it happened, they said it.
First thing. Refuse what you naturally want to do. What I have found as a person, my first reaction is never the right one. This is never the right one. My first natural reaction will cause me issues.
Refuse revenge. Number two. Verse 17. Retain your reputation.
Now this this is a little bit It's like, hey, we're dealing with hurt. Who cares about my reputation right now? I'm caring about the fact that I've been done wrong and I'm wounded.
Okay, hold on, but look what he says. Look at verse 17. He just said Recompense to no man evil for evil. And what does he say next? Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
Whoa, what are we talking about here?
Well, this means don't respond to unfairness with sinful behavior. Don't damage your testimony. Trying to get even. You and I are to live so honorably that even observers can see Christ in the way we respond. It means despite that I've been done wrong, I need to keep myself right.
And one of your first priorities would be: I need to avoid what I naturally want to do, and I need to make sure that I don't do anything that hurts my testimony. He didn't say in the sight of the person that hurt you. He said, Provide things honest in the sight of all men. It means as you revenge and you come back at that person, other people are watching you. Especially your children.
I think that's one of the reasons children are a blessing. There have been times in this very building. Probably been times about every square footage of this place. There have been some things happened. And my natural But I have three boys.
And odds are One of them are around or near or something. And they see dad lose it like dad wants to. They see Dad plead his case. Because most people don't know the real story about things. What are they going to learn?
Oh, that's how you Respond. You and I are to keep our testimony right in the sight of all men. It's the ideal of maintaining a clean testimony. Visible integrity. Christ-like conduct.
having a reputation. for the right response. Listen, if somebody lies about you, our flesh wants to revenge, we want to gossip, we want to retaliate. But Paul says instead, refuse evil. Behave honorably, keep your character clean, and trust God to handle it.
Let me read you this verse, 1 Peter chapter 2. Having your conversation, that means your life. honest among the Gentiles. That, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, false accusation. They may buy your good works, which means what?
Your response. That's the good works he's talking about here. What? Keeping your life honest, keeping your testimony as your priority. It doesn't matter what somebody's done to you.
I'm not going to ruin my testimony by my response to them. It says that even those that are falsely accusing, that are doing you wrong, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation. That God will get glory. By our response. We have to first refuse revenge.
And second, we have to determine to retain our reputation. I know there's got to be in a crowd this size, some of you sitting there, and you have really been done wrong. And you have a lot of reason. to be angry and want to just Come back. But I want to challenge you today.
A spirit-filled believer. responds biblically. Refuse revenge. Retain your reputation, number three, and once you see in verse 18, remember the priority. You see, there's a bigger battle going on here than what this person's done to you.
You're hurt. What you're dealing with right now, there's a bigger fish to fry here. You say, What do you mean? Look at verse, love this, look at verse 18. In the middle of all this, if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Not all men, except for that guy that just said that about you. Except for that woman that keeps saying those things. No. live peaceably with all men. Here's the issue, please.
Now, Kerwin, if you, hey, preacher, I'm not into this, that's fine. Just wake up and get this point, and then you can go back to bed because you need this one, okay? The priority in your life is not to win an argument. The priority in your life is for you to be able to live in peace. Yeah.
Look at me, because that's what you really need. Because when you're angry and all this stuff's going on, you really don't enjoy it. It's hard to sleep, it's hard to rest, you can't think about it. Listen to me, the ultimate goal. is the peace of God.
That's what separates Christians from the world is that we have a peace that passes their understanding.
So, the ultimate goal is for us to be able to live with peace in our hearts. But listen to me, let me explain it. The Bible says seek peace and pursue it. It means this: if you win the argument and you get revenge, but you don't end up having peace inside your heart, you won the battle, but you lost the war. It means you might have put them in their place, but now you don't have peace.
So you didn't win anything. Hey, I am proud to tell you that over the years there are some arguments with my wife that I have won. And not one of them gave me peace. Tonight even man. The verse does not say create peace.
It says live. peaceably. The Bible does not say create peace. It says seek peace. and ensue it or pursue it.
Listen to me. You might not be able to create peace with somebody. To your best ability. It takes two people to have peace. Both have to be in it.
Look at me. God never said that you have to make peace happen. God never said you have to create peace because sometimes you just can't with certain people. But what God did say is this: you might not be able to make peace happen and you might not be able to create peace, but you can seek peace and you can live peaceably. Which means you're doing everything in your power.
To have peace, and you're living in a way to try to create peace.
Now, they might not allow it, but you need to make sure that the reason you don't have peace is not based on your reaction. And it's not based on us. Listen, this happens so much with us. We get consumed with wanting to win an argument, show our side, right the injustice that's been done to us, and the entire time we lose our peace. And we have this in the pit of our stomach.
And one day we realized that the greatest need was not to win that argument. And the greatest need really wasn't for everybody to hear your side. The greatest need was for you to be able to lay down at night. With a clear conscience. Amen.
By the way. I know By now, after what, almost 15 years, you got to be Oh Lord, here comes these little add-ons preacher puts on. They're never fun. Yeah, this one isn't fun. But notice the verse closely.
Don't know if you've seen this or not. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, let me just say this: I've shared this with people. That's why the Bible doesn't say you can create it, it says if it be possible. It means there's sometimes it's not possible.
Sometimes you're going to do everything you can do. And listen, they're just crazy. It's never you. They're crazy, okay?
So listen, if it be possible, okay, we understand that, but notice, look at verse 18. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably. With Amen. God is making this clear that it's not just. You deciding because somebody hurt you, you're just going to leave.
You're just going to get away from them. That person at that church, they said, Whatever, I'm just going to leave and go to another church. God did not say, Look at the verse. He did not say live peaceably away from all men. He said, You as a Christian show enough character.
to live peaceably, to seek peace with All men.
So many people.
Somebody said something to me at church, somebody did this, I don't like this. And so they leave. God does not say live peaceably away from all men. He said live peaceably with all men.
Now, there are some people we need to avoid. The Bible gives clear principles about that. Those that are creating division, somebody's talking to you about something that's putting a divided heart in you about this ministry, by the way, God says you need to mark them and avoid them. I don't care how you think they're a wonderful person. They're obviously not handling things correctly.
Because if they're talking to you about somebody instead of going to that person and talking to them, they're obviously not handling things biblically.
So you're listening to somebody that is not doing things biblically.
So, you and I need to understand: God does not say, Well, so they hurt you, just leave. No, no, no, no, no. God's listen that wouldn't take much character That's avoidance. That's the easy chicken way out. God says, listen, if you're going to do what God, if you're going to be the servant of God that God wants to be, You need to try to learn to live peaceably with Oh.
Yeah, yeah. It means this, remember your top priority. It means whatever happens in your life, whoever says whatever, you find out something's been done, what's your biggest priority right now? Not to win that point, not to win over that person, not to get everybody else thinking the way you think. The biggest priority right there that God wants for your life is for you to be able to live in peace.
So what do you need to do to accomplish that? I want you to notice number four. I can tell this is going over wonderfully. Say amen. Preach on, brothers.
But listen, hey, if I'm clearly teaching the Bible, say amen. I just, I am. I'm not saying it's easy for me. Number four, release the offense to God.
Now. Easier said than done. I know that. Everybody says that. We preachers are supposed to say that.
Do not think because this preacher says that, that this preacher always does that. I wish I was the kind of pastor that you deserve, that I could. Listen, I struggle with it. But it doesn't matter what I do. What matters is what God said.
Verse 19, dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves. But rather give place unto wrath. Why? For it is written: Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. the Lord.
The reason we release our offenses to God is because they belong to Him. God never asked you to carry the burden of vengeance. God has never asked you to carry the burden of retaliation. How can you? really get them back good.
Justice belongs to him. The Bible says God is just. You and I are not just. We can't even trust our own heart. God is just, so justice.
belongs to him.
Now notice this phrase. Everybody, we've heard this over the years and Give place unto wrath, vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. Give place unto wrath. What does that mean?
Well, it's a very powerful statement. It literally means to step aside and leave room for God's wrath to take care of this instead of your wrath. It is not saying, hey, make room in your life for you to have wrath. No, that's not what it's saying. It means do not take justice into your own hands.
It means allow God to have His rightful place. which is to deal with wrongs. You know why it's not good for you to deal with wrongs? Because you're a person that has caused wrongs. How hypocritical is it for me that I'm going to deal with how you wronged me, but I sure have let myself go for this.
Thank you for listening today. We hope you received a blessing from our broadcast. The Kerwin Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Road in Kernersville, North Carolina. You may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5192 or via the web. at Kerwin Baptist Church.com.
Enjoy our services live and all our media on our website and church app. Thank you for listening to the Kerwin Broadcast today. God bless you.
