Welcome to the Kerwin Baptist Church broadcast today. Our desire is for the Word of God to be spread throughout the world so that all may know Christ. Join us now for a portion of one of our services here at Kerwin Baptist Church, located in Kernersville, North Carolina. Proverbs chapter fourteen, our subject today. Right out of verse 1, every wise Woman.
What's interesting is Proverbs chapter 14 is really a study on contrast. And it begins with the subject of the home. And it says, Every wise woman buildeth her house. But the foolish plucketh it down. with her hands.
So notice the pronouns here. Not only does it say a woman and her, but it keeps using her.
So it means here's a contrast. two different women. And what we would assume is these are wives, maybe mothers. and they're building. And what we're talking about is the home.
What's interesting, though, is you begin to say, okay, this is all instruction to women. Look at verse 2. Right then it says, He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the Lord. But he that is, so it goes right to the man also. And then verses 2, all the way down to verse 6, is gender neutral.
It's to both. It just gives a term that's not necessarily masculine or female. It is literally instruction to all of us. But what I love about verse 1. is that it makes it clear of the importance of a role that a woman has.
And mothers, let me tell you something. We all joke, we all pick, we all know we'd be nothing without you. We wouldn't know what to do without you. And mothers, we wouldn't be here without you, that's for sure. And I want you to know nobody's a perfect mother.
And I feel like I had one, but I'm sure she wasn't. And don't beat yourself up if you think, you know, I feel like I failed as a mother. Listen, it is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and we commend you for it. And today, I want you to see. Not just how important, if you have a home that you live in, it didn't happen by accident, it was built.
that way. And what we want to talk today is really how to build. That kind of home. We have mothers and grandmothers here. We have soon-to-be mothers.
We have some that will eventually be mothers. And we have a lot of young couples. We're blessed at this church, and young families, and children. And so I think this kind of across the board is something that all of us need. This is a study in contrast, and by the way, in the Bible.
Whenever the Bible talks about contrast, it gives you two options. What that signifies is that there's a choice. Contrast. means choice. And the Bible is very good about explaining this to us because it kind of says, do this, this will happen, do this, this will happen.
So that contrast means that you have a choice. One choice will take you one direction, another choice will take you a different direction. Contrasting actions lead to contrasting results.
So that's what we want to talk about today. All right. Let's pray and we'll dig into it. Lord, I love you. Thank you for Mother's Day.
Thank you for the mother you gave me. Thank you for my wife as a wonderful mother to my three boys. And Lord, I pray you'd bless every mother here today. I pray that it will be a special day. It's really not about gifts or cards or any of that.
Although that's good and it helps, but Lord, it's about how we treat and how we honor. And God, I pray that you would help every mother here today to understand through this passage of Scripture. how important they are. how valuable they are. In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen. All right. Now, I want to show you the contrast. In every verse we have, there's going to be some contrast. But in verse 1, there's a bunch of them.
I just want to give them to you today, okay? Look at verse 1. Every wise woman buildeth her house. That's option one. But the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Okay, so notice the contrast. This is interesting to me. If you have a piece of paper and a pen, you ought to write this down. All right, and just in this one verse, notice the first contrast is between wise. and foolish.
The Bible says there is a wise woman. And the Bible says that there is a foolish woman. And by the way, that's a blanket statement. There are wise individuals, male or female, and there are foolish ones.
So we see first that there is this contrast, and already it means that there's a choice. You can, through God's word and with God's wisdom, learn to be a wise. House builder? Or you can choose to go your own path, do your own thing, figure it out yourself, trust in your own wisdom, and be the foolish. All right, notice the second contrast is between the builder versus the breaker.
Notice in this it says, every wise woman buildeth her house. But notice the second part: the foolish woman, she plucketh it down, she breaks it down.
So, you not just have the contrast between wise and foolish, but we see the consequences of that. You have a builder who is wise, and then you have the breaker. And may I say this: that if you and I don't get in God's word and become wise moms and wise dads. Instead of building your home, you're going to break it down to the dirt. Let me say this, you can even do that sitting in church.
Now listen, most of us behave pretty good on Sundays. But your home is not built on Sunday morning and Sunday night. Your home is built throughout the week. Your home is built every day. Your home is built behind closed doors.
So we have the wise versus the foolish, we have a builder versus the breaker. Notice, thirdly, we have working versus wasting.
Now, I don't know about you. It takes a lot more work to build something than it does to tear it down. How many of you, any of you, watch HGTV? Raise your hand. All right.
Mr. You are liars.
Okay. HGTV.
Now, have you ever watch a show and they're going to redo a house or whatever, they're going to come in and blah, blah, blah, guess what? About the first two minutes of the show is them tearing everything down. And then the next 58 minutes is about them building and decorating. It takes, listen, when you're tearing something down, you don't have to be careful, you don't have to care, you can just come in and create havoc and do damage to tear something down. It takes a lot more work to build something.
Than it does to tear it down. Let me just say this, especially to parents. It takes a lot more work to build up your children. It's too easy just to tear them down. We're not called to tear our kids down and guilt them into behavior.
We're called to build them up, to edify them. When you build it, you have something. When you tear it down, you've wasted it. There's working versus wasting right here in this verse. Notice this next contrast.
We see selfless. versus selfish. You see, the first woman, the wise woman, She is building her house. And what do you build a house for? She's not the only one that needs a house.
She's not the only one that wants a house. It means this: that moms and wives, you have the unique ability to control the atmosphere of a home. Almost anytime I do a wedding and they ask me to do some kind of a charge, I go through the fact that many times a woman controls the attitude of a home, the atmosphere of a home. And many times a woman controls the affection of the home. Your husband can come home and have a rotten day, and man, he just had the weight of the world on him, and he can walk in there, and he's a bit short, and he's a bit abrupt, and whatever the case might be.
And if you just respond right back the way he came, guess what? We're going to have a fight. It's going to be a bad day. But I'm going to tell you something. There's something about a woman.
There's something about a mom. There's something about a wife. That controls the atmosphere. It can be a peaceful place or it can be a chaotic place. It's just a unique ability God's given you.
We notice here that this first woman was selfless. She's building the home. And that's about Putting yourself last, in a sense, and we all know moms, you always put yourself last, but everybody else first. But this other woman, She's just tearing it down. Here's a selfless person as compared to a selfish person.
person by the way Selfishness. can tear down a home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You say how is that, preacher?
Well, I just I'm not going to get into all of it. Today, but I want you to notice three things. First is neglect. A selfish person shows neglect. That means absent emotionally or spiritually.
And can I say, especially men, just because you're in home doesn't mean you're home. And and we've got to be careful because men are thinkers. You women don't think so.
Now we don't think about anything, but we're thinking. We're not accomplishing anything, but we just like to have something on our mind. That's why we like TV, that's why we like a game. Because if I can watch that, it means I'm not thinking about my problems.
So we're thinking, we're just not thinking. You got that. And But neglect means that I can be there, but not really there. And moms, I encourage you, be there, not just in presence. Not just because I'm in the house and husbands.
Neglect can be very, and by the way, as a youth pastor, when I would counsel with teens, this was the biggest thing. is that dad didn't have time for me. Is that mom's so busy, mom doesn't have time? Notice secondly is negativity. Negativity is a very selfish thing.
This is constant criticism and conflict in the home. That's a selfish action. Why are you so negative? Because you don't like things, because things aren't how you like them. Because things aren't how you want them.
And you want to tear down your house? Be negative. You want to tear down your house? Have an atmosphere of constant negativity. I am so thankful that My mom didn't let that happen.
And listen, there were some bad moments in our house. and difficult times, but They were dealt with immediately, and I just knew when I came home, it was a peaceful atmosphere. As long as my dad kept his mouth shut, it was a peaceful atmosphere. And hey, we'll talk about that Father's Day, okay? But we're on Mother's Day right now.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Third is narcissism. That's how we can be selfish instead of selfless. You say, What is that? That's putting yourself before the family.
Well, a mother wouldn't do that. Oh, I've seen some do that. Oh, a dad wouldn't do that. Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen.
Some do that. I've seen many take take part in actions that they know is going to rip their family apart. That's selfish. I want you to notice the next contrast, just in this one verse. We've not even gotten to the message yet.
Some of you are discouraged. Listen, there's no church tonight. Remember that, okay? Notice this next one is character versus corruption. Character versus corruption.
This is a wise Woman. We find a description of somebody who has character.
Somebody who has morals. Then we see corruption. Notice this. It says that She plucketh it down with her hands. It's her actions.
That's how she does it. Then let me just say this. How do you pluck something down with your hands? It's brick by brick. It's piece by piece.
Look at me. You don't go just knock the whole house down at one time. No, it starts with little things. Corruption, just little things. And all of a sudden, before long, instead of building a house, We have nothing.
I want you to notice this next is commitment versus carelessness. Commitment versus carelessness. You know, here's a woman that is so committed to build her home, and then here's a woman that doesn't mind that the home is broken down, careless. Just think of the opportunity, especially here today. We're talking with moms and wives.
Look at the opportunity God's given you. to have a home and to build it. Look at that look that's your mission field That is your greatest mission field. Listen, we have missionaries here to the Philippines, but I believe with them, the Philippines is Mr. Wynn and Mrs.
Wynn's. That's their second mission field. Their first mission field is their family. That's your main mission field. Commitment versus more, I could say, let me give you this one: discernment versus deception.
Discernment. Here's a woman that's wise that discerns. And here's a woman that doesn't mind deception. Just Tear it down. I noticed this last is A contrast between reward versus regret.
When the first wise woman, when she's done, what does she have? She has a house. She has a home. There's a reward there. But when this foolish woman steps in with carelessness and deception and all these different things, What do we have when it's done?
Nothing but regret. Oh. Listen, I have counseled with many people who have nothing but regret. when it comes to what they've done to their family.
So how do we build? This kind of home. We see the contrast. We see the choices we ought to make. Let me give them to you real quick, and because it's Mother's Day, we'll let you go today, okay?
I want you to notice number one in verse two, we build with our walk. Look at verse 2. He that walketh. In his uprightness, he feareth the Lord. But he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.
Now, notice the contrast here: upright. Versus perverse.
So verse 1 has tons of contrast. And it shows that we ought to be a wise person that builds our home instead of a foolish person that tears it down. What's the first way we build it?
Well, with our walk. Our walk is how we conduct ourselves. It's our ways. It's how we do things. It's our actions.
We build our home not with sitting around saying what we want to do, we build our home by what we actually do. Boy, I'll tell you, one of the hardest things about parenting is, I know all the right things to tell my boys. But I don't always do the right things in front of them. And what I tell them to do doesn't mean much to them when they see me do something different. Boys, now you drive the speed limit.
Okay, well we're just going to go on to number two there. All right, so I've torn down my home on that one.
Okay, here we go. Number two. We build with our words.
So in verse 2, we build with our walk. But look at verse 2. We build with our words.
In the mouth, of the foolish. Is a rod of pride. Notice that rod of pride. But the lips of the wise shall preserve them.
So, what is our contrast here in this verse? Pride versus preservation. Pride versus preservation. What does a rod do? A rod breaks.
A rod is there to do some damage. A rod is there to break something down. That's what pride does to your home. Prime. breaks it down.
But notice this, I love this, the lips of the wise. But if you're careful in what you say, how you say it, when you say it. The spirit with which you say it. It can preserve your home. You say, what do you mean preserve, preacher?
Let me put it this way. Your kids are with you on average. 21 to 23 years. Shorter, some longer. But you know how you preserve your family?
is when you Use the kind of words all those years that last past when they leave your house. Listen, I'm 52. My mom's been dead for years. I cannot tell you how her words impacted me. I cannot tell you how.
I'm in the ministry because of her words. Not just because of her prayer, but because of the advice, because she knew what to say at the right time, in the right way, when I needed it. And she did it in such a spirit that I received it. We build our home through our words. And can I ask you something today?
How are your words? I mean, is it just a screaming match at home? Is it just a constant negativity and criticizing and mad and anger? And I warn you, say, Preacher, don't meddle now here today. And I'm not trying to meddle, but what I am saying, you're just breaking it down brick by brick.
The lips of the wise preserveth. I better get off that one. It's getting kind of quiet. Number three. We build with our work.
Not just our walk, not just our words.
Now look at number four. Verse 4. Where no oxen are, The crib is clean. But much increase is by the strength of the ox. I brought this verse up recently to our staff.
And um No, I didn't call it not calling them anything. Um I told him, listen, ministry is hard sometimes. And setting up stuff, having as many things going as our church does. And people are always going to get mad at you. There's always going to be somebody who doesn't like what you're doing.
There's always going to be somebody criticized. And you find out through the grapevine and dip it. And then you find people meddling in stuff they shouldn't even be meddling, they don't even know about, never come to the pastor about. Listen, there's just constant stuff. And here's the verse that I showed our staff: that listen, where no oxen are, the crib is clean.
What does it mean? It means that you know what? If there's no oxen in there, you can keep that crib clean pretty easy. I mean there there's there's no mess to shovel. There's no hay to bring in.
There's no cleaning anything. I mean, it's easy to keep a crib clean if there's nothing in the crib. But what you lose is the benefit of the oxen that lives in the crib.
So, if you're going to have the benefit of the ox, you're going to have to put the work in. And here's what he's saying: We're talking about the home. Verse 1, it sets the tone for the entire chapter. Every wise woman buildeth her home. And I'm here to tell you that: listen, it's a lot easier to just be lazy and not do anything.
And maybe it's not going to take a lot of work. But if you're going to raise your family and build your family and strengthen your family, you're going to have great benefit out of that one day. But it's going to take work.
So many parents are tired of fighting. I just go get on the computer. I just get the iPad. I just do this. They don't want to have to work with them.
They don't want to have to discipline them. They don't want to have to raise them. They don't want to have to teach them. They don't want to have to talk to them. I mean, we got families sitting in a living room texting each other.
How do you know? Because I do it. But that's not what we're talking about here. My wife's in the kitchen. Hey, can you bring me a sandwich?
You know, I do. I don't do that, I don't do that. I don't do that. I email her. But that's okay.
It's okay. What we see here, what is this contrast?
Now look at it. It's a clean crib. versus rewarding return. You can take the easy way out, it can be a lot less work. But there's not going to be much of a return on that.
You can just let your kids raise themselves. That might not be the biggest blessing down the road. It's going to take some work. And my poor mom, I was homeschooled. And that was work.
I mean she had to be mom and she had to be teacher and she had to be principal. And it's amazing that how Whatever I was going through in life, it seemed to come up in school somehow. You know, if I lied about something next day, there's a whole lesson on lying. You know, nobody else goes through that at school, but it happened in my school. It took work.
Can I tell you something? Parenting is one of the hardest things. You will ever do. Yes, getting up. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
You love so much and you love so deeply. and everything about you wants to just make sure they like you. And if you do that, you're going to have no reward. And so part of loving enough is to love enough to go against what they want.
So that one day they can have a future. And that's the preservation. of the home. Number four. We build with our witness.
Think of verse 5. A faithful witness. will not lie. But a false witness. Will utter lies.
It just keeps coming out.
So what is our contrast here? Faithful. Versus false. Faithful. Versus false.
I want to challenge all of you, all of us, have a witness. All of us have, and let me put it this way. a reputation. That's what a witness is. You're either going to have a faithful reputation.
or a reputation for being false. Either for being truthful or for being vague. Let me give you this last one. We build with our wisdom.
Now, look at what at verse 6, 7, and 8. All three of these verses talk about this.
Now, I could go on in the chapter. But I'm not going to do it to you today. Look at verse 6. A scorner seeketh wisdom and findeth it not, but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth. Go from the presence of a foolish man when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.
So notice verse 6 and 7. We have wisdom, we have understanding, we have knowledge. Look at verse 8. The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit.
So let's just break this down. You say, preacher, I see the contrast in verse 1. Every wise woman buildeth her house. But the foolish plucketh it down. with her hands.
I want you to notice first it deals with attitude.
Now, I don't know if you know, we've been teaching a series for the last 15, 16 weeks. on Sunday nights on attitude. Look at verse 6, a scorner. A scorner seeketh wisdom and findeth it not. But knowledge is easy unto him that notices that understandeth.
So here's dealing with our attitude. You and I can build a home. through our attitude. or we can tear it down. through our attitude.
And let me just say this: it's not enough just to say, well, this is what my attitude is. What needs to happen is the riot attitude needs to be portrayed. It doesn't matter what your attitude is on the inside, if to everybody else you look like you're half angry and ready to kill them. Listen to me in a home Attitude is huge, and here's what it says: a scorner. What's a scorner?
Always negative. Always critical. Horrible attitude. Even when a scorner tries to find wisdom, they can't. Why?
Because of their attitude. Because of their attitude. I want you to notice secondly it talks about our associations. Look at verse 7. This can kill a home.
Go from the presence of a foolish man. When thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. Can I tell you something? You can break down a home by hanging out with the wrong people. Moms, you can break down a home by hanging out with the wrong moms.
Husbands, you can break down a home by hanging out with the wrong men. Your associations. It don't matter whatever, but listen, you sense something that just doesn't quite add up. I suggest be nice, be cordial. But listen, don't you yoke up with somebody that's always negative, always critical, always talking about church, always talking about pastor, always talking about their friends, always talking about their family.
Guess what? When you're gone, they're talking about you. Attitude, associations. Why don't you notice verse 8? We see first acceptance.
The wisdom of the prudent. Wisdom of the prudent.
So this person's wise and they're prudent is to what? Understand his way. You know what this means? It means to understand. What God has called you to do, understand what your life is to be, and to just do it.
to be content there. to accept. You know why so many marriages fall apart? Because There's not acceptance. There's not contentment.
I want something different. I want something else. I want something better, whatever the case might be. You know why homes can fall apart? Because mom's never happy, because dad's never content.
And we're working 10 jobs to try to get all the things we want, and we're leaving the kids unattended to do it. You and I need to learn to accept this is what God has for our life. To find contentment in it and be glad with it. I want you to notice last is authenticity. Look what it says.
But the folly of fools. is deceit. to try to be something That you're not. The first part is understand who you are, accept it, and be content with it. But what's the second part?
Always trying to be something you're not. The folly of fools is deceit. To say what I really don't really mean to act like I'm not really on the inside, to try to be the person I'm really not, to act like something on Sunday and I'm not that way during the week. That's foolish. Let me tell you what builds a home.
is authenticity. Be yourself. But be right. And be open and honest with your family, with your children. I don't know about you, but this passage is...
Fool. of contrast. And it is one of the best ways. to teach your kids. When my kids were young, I would say this, listen.
If you do this. Here's the paddle. If you do this, This is going to hit your backside. Many times. If you don't do this, Here's reward.
Pretty straightforward. And God is doing the same thing. He just starts off to say this, listen. The wise build their homes. The foolish.
Tear them down. Sister, what's your point today, preacher? My point is this. If you had a mom that built your house. If you had a mom that put the work in.
Put the effort in. Had to clean that old crib a bunch. To make you what you are today, you ought to thank God. If she's here. You ought to thank her.
Make sure you grab her, give her a hug. If she's alive, call her. Do whatever you need to do to be thankful. But when I'm also saying this, hey, some of you are moms and husbands that still have kids. in the home.
Listen, the wise build. The foolish Tear it down. Let's bow our heads. Thank you for listening today. With our heads bowed and our eyes closed, I want to thank you, obviously, for being here for Mother's Day.
We have some stuff, some giveaways yet to come, and all those things. But before we go any further, this to me is the most important part. of every Sunday morning. And it is this: if you're here and you say, Preacher, you kind of talked to mothers today and preached on the home, you're absolutely right. But dear friend, it might be you're sitting here.
And the real need is that you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior. And I want you to know right where you sit, you can get that settled.
Now, I can't do it for you. I would if I could. Thank you for listening today. We hope you received a blessing from our broadcast. The Kerwin Baptist Church is located at 4520 Old Hollow Road in Kernersville, North Carolina.
You may also contact us by phone at 336-993-5192. or via the web. At Kerwin Baptist Church.com. Enjoy our services live and all our media on our website and church app. Thank you for listening to the Kerwin Broadcast today.
God bless you.
