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Gary Chapman (Parenting Teens)

Janet Mefferd Today / Janet Mefferd
The Truth Network Radio
November 16, 2021 4:00 am

Gary Chapman (Parenting Teens)

Janet Mefferd Today / Janet Mefferd

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November 16, 2021 4:00 am

As inflation surges under President Biden, a new poll gives the GOP its widest midterm margin in 40 years. And now even the secular media is taking off after the weak Vice President Kamala Harris. We'll talk about it. Plus: Dr. Gary Chapman stops by to discuss his book, "Things I Wish I'd Known Before My Child Became a Teenager." Join us for Tuesday's JANET MEFFERD TODAY.

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This archived broadcast of Janet Mefford today is brought to you by Hartford, Lebanon, God is using hard for Lebanon to bring practical assistance and the gospel to the stricken refugee families in Lebanon for a gift of $116 you can give a child in his family survival essentials for four months and the hope of Jesus Christ which lasts forever. Call now 888-247-5499 888-247-5499 there's a banner to click@janetmefford.com, our confidence is in Christ alone is for lately. Boy, those prices are skyrocketing and have you seen the gas pump. I'm sure you have.

Maybe you've even seen these little stickers of Joe Biden saying I did that, which are now showing up across the country on gasoline pumps. Well, who can blame anybody for feeling that way because this is Biden's fault.

It's Biden's fault. That's what happens when you shutdown pipelines and you don't solve the shipping crisis happening outside California by the way, despite all of these bragging you know moments that they had about the fact that they were to really get the 24 seven port deal down and they were to make sure everything came into Los Angeles in a more timely manner that there was a story yesterday I was reading about the fact that now they're not. It's not making any difference. In fact, there are more ships. Now they want to solve it. They don't want to solve it. Why build back better, maybe it's all about globalism. It's all about deconstructing America and reconstructing it in the old image of Marx and Lenin.

That's basically where were headed with a little touch of globalism and technocracy thrown in for good measure. But this will lift your spirits.

Perhaps a little bit. This is interesting. A new pullout from ABC News Washington Post finding that if the midterm elections were held today, the majority of registered voters say they would support the Republican congressional candidate over the Democratic candidate in their districts and what this means is the Republicans at this stage have the largest statistical edge over the Democrats in for decades for decades. This is from Fox.

The survey which was taken after the Democrats passed that ridiculous 1.2 trillion bipartisan infrastructure investment and jobs act shows 51% of registered voters saying they would support the Republican candidate in their district and only 41% say they'd support the Democrat that's a disaster for the Democrats if those numbers hold 51% because think about this for a moment. If you are voting for your local candidate what you're doing here is you are reshaping Congress and that's the hardest thing for the Democrats to overcome if the Republicans were to cease Congress again now.

This brings back shades of the Clinton era where the Republicans were able to win back Congress for years into two years into Bill Clinton's first term and then he became more conservative. He can edged back he recognize the political moment.

He's not quite as radical as his wife is but on the other hand, that he can't really command Bill Clinton because he's Bill Clinton and we all know what Bill Clinton is like so but you have to give credit that when the Republicans took back Congress that was really a big neon sign to the Democrats. You better pull back from your agenda now.

We are many years removed from that moment in political history.

Now that were in 2021. It remains to be seen whether or not these radicals have any ability to pull back from anything they ever do that. They're just it.

It's weird to me.

It's it's not weird because we all know what these people are up to. But it's weird to me how more Americans do not recognize what these folks are doing.

They are trying to re-construct the United States of America by destroying it there trying to destroy it there trying to destroy the economy there on this climate change train which most Americans couldn't care less about and understand that it's not about climate change. It's not about the weather ruining all of our lives, and let's get some more windmills up. We understand exactly what's going on millions of us understand what's going on and I don't believe that most of the people who voted for Joe Biden were doing because of climate change. I was just sharing a pole not too long ago just a couple of days ago showing that climate change is not a priority for pretty much anybody in this country so the people who voted for Joe Biden. Is this really what you wanted this whole build back better nonsense, which is a joke that these people you have to give them credit you have to give them credit, they always use the most wonderful language to describe legislation that usually does the opposite of what the name of the legislation is that's what they do and it's like Orwell it's it's their fantastic edits, so this is what's going on. You got a really big margin for the GOP heading into the midterms. Now what I fully expect these people are going to do is there gonna try to look may be a little bit more conservative to try to win back the independence but the problem is all they do is they will look a little bit more reasonable going into the next election so than they can turn around and undo everything that they said prior to the election because that's who these people are there a bunch of liars there a bunch of liars. This is interesting out of Iowa. Donald Trump is up 11 points over Biden in a rematch scan interesting from Newsmax. A majority of likely Iowa voters back Trump in a hypothetical 2024 presidential rematch against Biden giving the America first present president, an 11 point edge on the White House. This is from the latest Des Moines register poll just 40% of likely Iowa voters backed Biden 4% said they would vote for neither another 5% remain undecided Sears hockey be decided thing Trump skin around though I don't know a lot of people are weighing in on whether or not Trump will try to run again.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure if you will, he'll really do it I think trumps moment is probably over. That's what I think I think trumps moment was in many respects a great moment and he did a lot of good things while he was in office, but I think for people who are not solid conservatives that he's too hot to touch and you need a fresh face coming in and a lot of people are saying. Bring in Ron DeSantis will Ron DeSantis run for president though.

If I were in Florida. I wouldn't want to leaving what went on, leaving the governor's mansion and not only that his wife is suffering from cancer, so who knows if that's really what he wants to do, but I just tweet just stopped already with Trump is getting up there in age. Biden is escaping his 80s for crying out loud, and they're still trying to put for this narrative that he's gonna run ball. I don't think so baloney.

I don't think it's can happen in the midst of all of this surging inflation. Do you really think these people care, this is George Stephanopoulos over the weekend interviewing Biden advisor Brian Deese and this just tells you everything you need to know about the spin that these people put on absolutely everything he says what can Americans expect in the short term here is inflation going to get worse before it gets better. Listen carefully to this answer from the Biden advisor Brian Deese Five or focus our addresses in the short-term and medium-term church in the short term number one we have to finish the job on covert. We know that the more that people feel comfortable getting out into the economy, going to movies rather than buying a television at home working in the workplace. The more we can return a sense of normalcy to our economy. Getting those shots out for 5 to 11-year-old sister provide a lot of comfort to American families were making a lot of progress on that front. Getting more work close places coated free is going to make more Americans comfortable getting back into the labor market as well. The second thing we can do right now is focus on the supply chain issues you know right now the American economy is moving more goods through the economy than we ever have. That's creating some challenges working with the ports in LA and Long Beach getting up to go 24 seven and getting right to work in implementing this historic infrastructure bill on Monday.

The present will sign this bill into law. It's the first time that the president is actually delivering on a bipartisan infrastructure bill and while a number of those pieces will be longer-term.

There things that will go into effect right away to try to get money out to help.

For example, upgrade our ports upgrade our airports upgrade our roads were to work without wit we have to wait to get that money working for the American people. So in other words, yes, inflation will get worse before it gets better I mean is that the answer because his answer had nothing to do with the question we need to be pulled get people out of stores and not just buying things online news flash Sir, have you been in a store lately getting more people into stores where the shelves are empty. How exactly is that can help anything. And by the way, what do covert shots for five-year-olds, have to do with inflation. Absolutely nothing. No. Five-year-old should be getting a shot for coven, no 11-year-old should be getting a shot for covert.

These kids are at almost no risk almost 9.

We all know that we have kids and a lot of us send them to school during the height of the pandemic was fine. We know one kid who got seriously ill.

Even the colleges.

There were no big spikes of COBIT it. It's ridiculous and the supply chain all working to make sure they're going 24 seven cats working splendidly. So far, Brian Deese, fantastic. They keep going back to COBIT because it's the only issue that resonates with their base because there bunch of nervous Nelly's place federal government protect me from coven covert is a serious virus but things are getting better and these people just want to hold onto their tyrannical ways for him to come back. Stay with us the ministry of pre-born is there for moms in crisis who are choosing between life and death for their pre-born babies meet Sophie at 22 weeks pregnant. Sophie was pressured by her mother and boyfriend to terminate her pregnancy. After meeting with the pre-born counselor. She found the love and support she needed were still just I was looking at the pictures over and over and over again.

That's when I decided I was going to turn out.

Sophie chose life and now she's awaiting the birth of her baby girl every day. Pre-born is on the front lines fighting Planned Parenthood to help young moms just like Sophie to choose life for a gift of $140 today you can help to rescue five babies lives and now through a matching gift. Your gift will be doubled rescuing 10 babies lives to donate, call 855402, baby. That's 855-402-2229 or there's a banner to click@janetmyfor.com this is Janet matter to provide a link international authorities in China are making life difficult for Christians. It's against the law to share Christ with children under age 18.

We cannot preach to children under 18, that is practice and law when parents bring to the church when you can teach English and then you can send the gift of gospel to them is great joy. Believers are teaching English to young people using the Bible league program that uses God's word is the source of the reading assignments, and many are coming to embrace Jesus as Lord and Savior and sharing him with their families is joined by the league and sending God's word to Bible as believers in China and around the world for only five dollars per Bible $50 since 10 $500 sends 100 call now 800 yes word 800 YDS WORD or there's a finally banner to click Janet met for.com. Thank you for your your listening to Jonah's mood for years. June 1 to get excited seeing that CNN is actually doing what a lot of liberals are calling a hit piece on, harassment read it and you realize you hit piece hit piece that all these people on the leftist media trainer much more excited about Dan Quayle's spelling things wrong than they are about, here is being completely incompetent and a total embarrassment to the country every time she gets in front of a camera.

Recently it was being in France and talking in front of all of the scientists about science interesting and it's all about starting with a hypothesis and never mind the issue of people saying she was speaking in her fake French accents have listened to the video that I'm not sure that's actually true, but she's had so many embarrassing moments, and she was put into the VP slot for political reasons, not for competence. Reasons for political reasons. It's all about identity politics and pleasing the far left, which is the base now apparently of the Democratic Party.

The radicals are calling the shots, and they wanted a woman and they wanted a woman of color, or else.

And those were some of the threats that were issued to the DNC prior to Biden making his selection as VP so you want to live my identity politics, folks. You can die by identity politics because that isn't the way that you put people into important slots of leadership.

It is for the left.

But it shouldn't be for anybody you should be putting the most qualified people in positions across the board. Whether or not it's politics or private business, industry, what have you. You should put the most competent people in charge that if it happens to be somebody who's of a different now.

Identity politics group then find as long as the person is competent. I've no problem with it anyway.

CNN has this article exasperation and dysfunction inside, hers is frustrating start as vice president. Some people are calling this the long knives coming out I'm not so sure I read through the article and they're protecting her. She's a leader. She just doesn't have the chance to lead she's she's just not being treated well, here's some of the lines from this article when they talk about the fact that there there. The White House is saying Key West wing aides have largely thrown up their hands at, Harris and her staff deciding there simply isn't time to deal with them right now, especially at a moment when Biden faces quickly multiplying legislative and political concerns. Many in the vice president circle fume she's not being adequately prepared or positioned and is being sidelined right because every time she comes out she giggles. She giggles incessantly. She says dumb things she says insane things I want to get to that just a moment and yet she's a heartbeat away from the presidency, so I think the the take away from all of this with the Biden successor chatter growing as political reports and Harris not scaring off anyone politico saying this Harris isn't scaring off anyone they say, vice president, Harris's role has given her proximity to the president but also placed a political future in the backseat as she toes the administration line right talk of successorship has spilled into OpenView in recent days, with even a close Biden ally, former Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd speculating about Harrises positioning in a potential 2024 primary she would get annihilated. She would get annihilated. How do we know this because she got annihilated when she tried to seek the Democratic nomination before she got annihilated. Now, her numbers are 28%. I like the people online who are saying look at the numbers for Biden and Harrison lop off another 10 points, and those are probably the parts. I believe that because I don't believe anything these posters say II don't believe anything they say.

I think it's way lower than probably there even reporting. They can't let them get to embarrassed. I suppose that this is where they are. I don't know how they make this better and then want to get rid of Biden because then they get her. Who are they inputting sure better will run to the rescue. I don't know he's gonna try for Texas governor and we don't want you bet I'll give it up.

Give it up. Not a good time for Mr. him to take all your guns away from you to try to make a second stand in Texas it's not gonna happen. You not to be the Texas governor. I think Don Hofheinz is a much better likelihood of nano taking Greg Abbott's place.

If that does happen than bet Otis will see how it goes. But this is interesting. This is interesting. Jim Acosta good old Jim Acosta over at CNN talked a little bit about that CNN article on, this is what he had to say this is 100 and frustration behind the scenes between vice president, Harris and the White House. The accounts come from nearly 3000 current and former Harris aides administration official Democratic operatives, donors, and outside advisors focusing on about the complex reality inside the White House on one side numbers of Harrises inner circle who believe she's being sidelined and set up to fail is that of being position to be a future president one former high-level heresy. Put it this way with us on screen there consistently sending her out there on losing issues in the wrong situations for her skill set is also learned Harrises told confidantes are. She feels constrained and what she's able to move the mood apparently summed up by the satirical headline from the onion goes like this that Harris defender sometimes pass around when they're feeling annoyed all White House urges, hers to sit at a computer all day in case emails come through course it's not that bad. Inside the White House but on the other side of things.

You have West Wing staffers who say they are completely exasperated throwing up their hands and what they perceive as some of Harrises awkward mistakes including some cringing answers on Israel in the border crisis versus Chelsea and there's also the belief that Harrises staff has repeatedly filled her and left her exposed. It's the staff's fault. By the way when he was discussing about her skill set, not being adequately use the first thing that popped into my head was what what exactly is her skill set, working with Planned Parenthood to ransack David to Leiden's home in order to nail him to the wall for exposing Planned Parenthood's baby body parts, trafficking operation, she's really good at working with Planned Parenthood put her in that wonderful role once again.

I'm sure that will happen at some give me a break. What is her skill set. What is her skill set.

Well, let's listen.

I'm in a play a couple of cuts for you so you can see clearly or listen and hear clearly exactly why, Harris is being sidelined because she's in over her head. I don't know what you say about a woman whose been Peter principles, but she has been Paula principled I don't know if you want to Paula pick up any principled I don't know. Let's listen to just a few weeks ago. This was making the rounds like crazy wear,, Harris was meeting with these kids and talking about how the NASA and then you know the space program and how cool it is and is and is wonderful. And then it later comes out that hoops they were child actors. And what's so hilarious about it is, they couldn't have looked more board in your thinking yourself child actors don't they have a duty to act interested for quite a lot of these were actual kids who were organically meeting with, Harris. They probably would've looked a little bit more excited than these kids did they just look flat outboard listen to the vice president of the United States country serious so much learned so much, as we increasingly I think serious is intentional discovery like an incompetent kindergarten teacher.

Clearly she doesn't spend a lot of time around children because she was like a caricature of kindergarten teacher who really shouldn't be in that position did you go to see the craters of the Moon with your own eyes. You mean like we all have when we looked at pictures of the moon like that talking about but I think this is even better. This is from Grady in media back in August. They did a wonderful compilation of, was worst hits.

Let's put it that way. Let's just recall what it is about, Harris, that makes her unfit for this position, much less the president of the United States getting into the White House and inflicting more of this on America. Let's listen to the, low lights. This is cut for this election in November to be about are literally our health and whether we live or die rounds are see her and hers so I decided I was in the start prosecuting parents for truancy. What else do we know about this population 18 to 24 are stupid really bad you believe that Americans should have the right to vote. At age 16 I am really interested in having a conversation convicted in prison like the Boston Marathon bomber on death row. People who were convicted of sexual assault. They should be able to vote. I should have a conversation. She thinks we should do away with the electoral college is you agree with that. I think that it's an open to the discussion.

I am prepared to get rid of the filibuster to pass a grain of the light you support changing the dietary guidelines that the food pairing will use red meat. Specifically, I would. So would you ban offshore drilling demand plastic stress assault weapons already in circulation will you do about those we have to have a buyback program and I support a mandatory buyback program, Harris pulling the attack and attempted modern-day lynching which tweak quickly about so I will say this about that case, I think that the facts are still unfolding there you have it there you have it. She's against everything good. It would appear, and backs just a small to light lied about being attacked by Phantom Magus supporters in the middle of the night in the city of Chicago, which by the way cracks up those of us who are from Chicago Magus supporters moderate supporters in the city of Chicago are about as rare is a sighting of a grizzly bear in high don't know the swimming pool added to what what you say no moderate supporters ready Rademacher adds in Chicago.

The guy was a liar and she said it was a modern-day lynching. She wants to get rid of your meat and she wants to get rid of the filibuster and she was to get rid of the electoral college and she went 16-year-olds in convicted felons to vote and she thinks the 18 to 24-year-olds are stupid and by the way, her pronouns are she her and hers will did you keep keep watch and see what happens with these folks will be back stay with us this archived broadcast of Janet today is brought to you by Hartford, Lebanon, God is using hard for Lebanon to bring practical assistance and the gospel to the stricken refugee families in Lebanon for a gift of $116 you can give a child in his family survival essentials for four months and the hope of Jesus Christ which lasts forever. Call now 888-247-5499 888-247-5499 or there's a banner to click@janet.com River today. Here's your host Joe Milford. Welcome back are any parents really fully prepared for their kids to become teenagers, while likely not because even though were all teenagers. Once we tend to forget a little bit what it was like when we become moms and dads ourselves. Best-selling author Dr. Gary Chapman has some good insights on this topic, that which he outlines in his new book will be discussing called things I wish I'd known before. My child became a teenager Gary it's great to have you back.

How are you today well I am doing well great to be back with you all think it what is it about the teenage years. Do you think that are particularly challenging for parents. There are a lot of challenging stages. Obviously, in your child's life.

What is it with the teen years like one of the prophet developing logical quote for the regular question the parent about putting a member question before your parents recruitment world are doing argumentative, we will stop the flow.

In reality, it's good because there are thinking logically of their learning to click the brightest thing about Stroop and their parents understand and cooperate with the process so major questions you know something that you talking through the years you select an interesting perspective. You know what, 102. Studies in buildings and father what you can let me do that. Let's go back little conversation about the stimulating fault in their mind rather than for you know the starlight go don't go public.

Rice writes what your title alone is is a great title but I'm curious to ask when you were entering those years with your kids. What did you know what worked during that period of time that you look back on and say yeah that that was the right move into a motor over the right mood and honest man, but I would photo the right move. Good time with Mark peters and reported, so that I would put a little trip together every summer to earlier as we got a little old Olympic sites where we went. That was really, really positive but I think I did learn to speak their leveling material or cheers superposed were a really building and learned in the process but am grateful that I do is how to handle anger because I remember about 14 and he was widowed in argument to the topic, but he was yelling at me as I was yelling at him, opening in the middle of it.

He walked out the front door and slammed the door and when the door closed. Father was further along yelling photo really came back.

Eventually hello hello a little cry for the heart of God and compares mostly in the will. Mr. Durkin to come in your medicine came in.

I apologize to know. Father should ever talk to us and we'll talk know if it's rightful place in this book that's not right. You will feel about your owners could forgive me for talking good.

There was no tearful started and should or shouldn't talk you were there when I was walking up the road and ask God to forgive us. After our little cry of dark what we try to learn to talk her way through revenue and we do there was a turning point in our relationship, and helping both of us. So think that's a huge issue for parents know are starting to follow our model more than our words writes between Julio parent could believe I learned to (well want to move up all just looking at your will they lose respect for me but respect for you to know that what you did was roll right right yeah you're right, that was exactly where I was going with this. When you talk about appearance model being more important than words. It's not that words are an important but this issue of modeling Christian behavior and modeling good parenting for your children to me now would extend not just into the teenage years were things can become quite crazy at times, but also your are you long-term showing your children how to be a good parent themselves in the future. You don't have to be perfect. There are no perfect or what you do have to deal with it when you do you know that all just was looking at your model numbers world. I taught one to move the product until we turn them all to our own beliefs so apologizing out, remove the barrier to realize were sincere and therefore more reluctant to follow our model, they are reduced right and it strikes me as well that when Scripture talks about fathers. Don't exasperate your children that that kind of takes away the exasperation factor because that can become exasperating for teenagers. If there really trying to talk to their parents and the parents are digging in because I'm the parent and I'm not gonna show any weakness to you that can become exasperating because the teenager is old enough to know you did something wrong and you won't even admit absolutely. I wish I learned more when Momo worked in the folder but I did learn as little as we went along our first older daughter. Ventricular risers will comply and will and I would wonder what if people have problems with a real good will prevail. Your communicative book duplicate parents understand what you're going through tremendous change in their brain and in their body and in their emotions and that's why you're in the morning there might be real opening kind turn zero what happened at school and so emotionally there open dial if we understood more about what's going own in between the clickers parents will be better able to adapt to it. I think you're right about that when you mention that teens are developing the ability to think logically, they're not completely there yet there developing that ability.

You mention the issue of questioning and the fact that teenagers will begin to question you.

That's not necessarily a threat. That's just at this stage of development that they need to go through what kinds of challenges though.

Do you see as teenagers are developing that ability to think logically. What kinds of pitfalls might there be for the parents.

During that period of time.

We don't hear them out with questions about you know words are good word about it for service in your mind and why do you think that that is better than what the polls told we listen to ask questions and listen to because they want to be heard, being heard communication with them, but you value them as teenager and another child and their mother nor child your mother until they will be heard or memorable emotional and should want to do what you say I just want you to think that's the cry of everything that you want to be heard by the parish. Rather than trying to stop there.

Conversation whatever program you should think that would use it time for learning spoke with court versus Berkshire everybody in the world took that position.

How would that impact the world begin to think about it and so you're not trying to convince them to agree with you convinced challenge think that's what they're already doing you're playing into what is happening in their minds anyway so that's the positive part that's good, so the helicopter parent might want to be aware at that stage of life.

What worked as a three-year-old will not work with a 13-year-old necessarily because of know now and in a way it's it's come, you know, communicating to your kid, it would seem a lack of respect that I'm raising you to launch you your ear forever going to be my little one, and that that that it would seem that at some point becomes more about the parent and the parents desires than the desire of the parent to launch the child at some point they are also moving toward independence while asleep in the room with my brother and sisters are trying to be more independent. We should encouragement but with independence we should treat response of the tax absolutely talk to Gary Chapman is with us were to come back discussing things I wish I down before my child became a teenager listening to Janet for today.

For those of us who live in America.

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You're listening to Joe at River today though. Thank you for being with us and it's great to have with us Dr. Gary Chapman, best-selling author in his latest book is called things I wish I'd known before. My child became a teenager. You had mentioned Gary before the break.

This important subject.

We need to tackle which is the fact that teens are moving toward independence in one of the things that you talk about is the need for personal space. You kind of alluded to that when you talked about the kid who says I want to sleep in the same room with my brother anymore. Navigate personal space that is that that can be a point of contention where you want him to come downstairs and set the table or do a chore and he says now I just need my personal space. What are the limits of personal space during the teen years, would you say it will all we need to play along with independent reading years of age typically go off to college logo drawn military job. We will come to be of the printed little strips during the period years of being independent or really important, but with that independence we need to take responsibility for example let's play okay or we can we can put your room up and we put your room in the basement.

But here's what you have to do every week you have to do you have to swap sweep the floor multiple what you decide what they have to do responsibilities that go with it and if you do that everywhere.

Your week we can let you do that, or maybe they want all you've never wanted to have a dull okay will. But let's have a dog that means that you have to feed the dog you have to wash the dog goes with it. Or there might be there driving okay okay you know the responsibility that every Saturday you have to vacuum the car and also obviously you have to keep the traffic laws and if you break a tropical you will lose privileges for week of their learning independence with their learning responsibility and both of those are really important as we move toward adulthood. Yes, now when we talk about another area that you cover in the book about culture, greatly influencing teens and that's one of the things you wish you had known before Utah became a teenager. It's getting harder and harder after all the time.

Gary I think you know this as well as anybody with the advent of the Internet and smart phones, and Snapchat, Instagram, and all the rest of it. Parents really feel like they're losing control. They don't want to necessarily be standing over their children watching everything that they do online, but at the same time, they don't want their kids being drawn away, especially from God because of what the reading on the Internet and that's just one form of culture that's really influencing teenagers what which areas of culture do you think that Chris and parents in particular need to be most concerned about concerning their teenagers will probably be a major one. Another would be people working but associate school and that's why trying to keep up with what's going on with the school and if this is the best school for your child or not, the best group for your trial to sacrifice for other private schools will be better than a public school program. But that's because they are influenced by their peer group. Research still indicates para will most dominant influence over the north appears with the parents think in terms of the old line putting when you have some guidelines to help a family conference. Look between be a part of, but have some guidelines for JBoss AddressBook there be no that they not be allowed to have their phone or other technical device in the bedroom and I agreed that there should still be a bit and I can go in the room and read like, but where all of our phones will be plugged up downstairs. That's just my federal moment ago father so I'm going to realize what this is the way that I think also having screen free items.

For example, the evening meal. You have to work at having an evening meal together important network having at least one meal together and it should be a screen free to use all look at our computers were not answering the phone. Let everything go to voicemail and talk around the table and share life with each other. Think change though they might rebel at the beginning.

If you've never done these things before I think they really will come to appreciate it once was the value of having some guidelines yeah I agree with you completely on that.

I think that's tremendous advice about giving them spiritual direction. This again when you are facing this issue as a Christian parents. It's not necessarily as easy in the high school here says it probably was when the kids were five and you couldn't make them go to Juan.

Are you could have them you know to go to vacation Bible school or what happens when whatever happens to be the area where your church is involved and you can about your little kids. What is the best way that you have found to help teenagers really get firm footing in Christ with the family. The younger children" moment. We did that a breakfast that would work for us, wife not a morning person is going to fix a hot breakfast every morning for the family will look at Mother Teresa screen and while we were getting ready to I would redeposit the Scripture to answer question to the children get their input on it and they were never prior notice thanking God for the food you are praying for each other, praying for the anarchy of lubricants that was one of the most meaningful points in their lives. It shows that are our walk with God is not just the Sunday we go to church daily and I think the more we can do that with the family and the teenagers, the more the greater impact that's excellence that's really excellent about the issue of guidance Gary because at the same time you want to allow your teenagers to have more independence and grow up and mature and give them the space to be able to do that, they do need guidance. How do you advise Christian parents to handle that issue during those key years.

I think it's important over issues with, for example, the whole alcohol drug if she were to shoot people will going to remember I did I would clip newspaper article. Leon Van or someone been killed because someone was dropping out of the influence of alcohol between the two-year-old Scripture, and that I would take him once a month with Moody on Saturday night I went to the juvenile detention center and played ping-pong with younger surrender start to we would talk to these guys individually, work, play, and I would tell their story. We will call home is preferred in those guys are going home because it already told you what to do. So I think it's exposing them you're not preaching to them your picture exposing them to reality through your putting the right things in their hands to read and giving them experiences like the scared straight approach that's that's actually gotta be very powerful to see your peers as it were your same age group kids being in that situation that would be kind of a wake-up call. If you are considering going in the wrong direction that's that's really an effective thing, although you know obviously not everybody's gonna do that but that's good. Whether it's an article or what have you. I think that's really good.

Also, another thing you mention is it really cultivating unit in your teenager an attitude of service. Why is that so important do you think because of the Christian life is good about it did not come to be served but to serve as his representative here for and we want our children to grow up not with a selfish attitude here to get what I can make myself here to serve other people about what during those teenagers. It's really helpful if you are involved in some kind of service in the community or in the church. Let your teenagers know what you're doing but if possible, take your teenagers with your working the soup soup kitchen food pantry, take your take your teenager with them. Let them see what school know what you're what you're doing what others are doing and get the case of the satisfaction of serving others and so we don't wait till they get to be adults to think about serving Web server. We are help and I can be as simple as let's go mow grandmother scratch for her. Let's go do this for her grandfather.

Whatever it can be family can be people in the community, but I think building in them, but attitude of we are here to serve others. When you see them grow and follow Christ and invest their lives and serving others.

That's right were in such a self-centered culture. It's a great thing to teach your kids early on. It's not just about you. You know there are other people out there. Yeah, who needs you and you have gifts and talents from God, and you should understand the importance of being there for other people. I think all of these tips that you've offered in your book carrier tremendous again the name of the book is things I wish I'd known before.

My child became a teenager from best-selling author Dr. Gary Chapman, always a delight to talk to Gary thank you again for being with us.

We really appreciate your work and appreciate your being here today though. Thank you God bless you, thank you for being with us here in tenant efforts today. As always, it's a pleasure to interact with you, and have eaten and we hope you will do so next time God bless you


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