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Stephen Nichols (Secularism) Tricia Goyer (Calming Kids)

Janet Mefferd Today / Janet Mefferd
The Truth Network Radio
June 16, 2021 4:30 am

Stephen Nichols (Secularism) Tricia Goyer (Calming Kids)

Janet Mefferd Today / Janet Mefferd

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June 16, 2021 4:30 am

A sinking culture, a rising tide of secularism: How can a Christian stay calm amid all that surrounds us? Dr. Stephen Nichols, president of Reformation Bible College, joins me to discuss it as we talk about his book, "A Time for Confidence." Plus: Is there a way to deal biblically with your child's anger? Tricia Goyer stops by to talk about her book, "Calming Angry Kids." That's next time on Wednesday's JANET MEFFERD TODAY.

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This archived broadcast of Janet Mefford today is brought to you by pre-born for $140 you can provide ultrasounds to five women in crisis pregnancies. Call now 855402, baby. That's 855-402-2229 or Janet is our confidence is in Christ alone, I saw you know humanism and even outright political anarchy. These are disturbing days for all of us.

But my next guest says this isn't the time for the church to give up or to become despondent because the same God who created this world and sent Jesus Christ to redeem us is still sitting on his throne and presiding over his unshakable kingdom. How then should we live and respond will join us now is Dr. Steven Nichols, president of Reformation Bible College chief academic officer of later ministries and a link in your teaching fellow. He also serves as an adjunct professor for reformed theological seminary and as a visiting lecturer at Westminster theological seminary's program at the John Owen Center in London and today were to be talking about his new book, it is called a time for confidence trusting God in a post-Christian society. Dr. Nichols, it's great to have you here. How are you I'm doing well be on your show to talk to you. I think just reading your title cheered me up because there's a lot to be despondent of health face-to-face. Maybe it's just a job that I have. I don't know know you know and I mean to you. You're exactly right. You look around and you see the moment we live in.

And it's bleak.

There's a lot of discouraging things I mentioned in the book through Pola Rip van Winkle knowing the feud going into a deep sleep.

But the thing here is you you kind of just on that. I don't know three years ago and it's the rapidity it's not just what were saying it's the rapidity of the change that sort of how to just scratch your head and wondering and so I thought let's let's try to think biblically and let's try to think theologically about this moment we find ourselves in right know the rapidity is such a great point. It's like a snowball, gathering speed down a hill, right. Like you said three years ago if Rip van Winkle broke woke up now from a three year nappy go walk lights what you redefined marriage where am I what's going on here it was that quick. Now you know for a long time we have heard theologians talk about the problem of postmodernism, would you say that that is morphed into something beyond postmodernism, or how would you characterize our age theologically and maybe in terms of movements, ideological movements like postmodernism sure we are to be trusting God Christian society. I think any one who spent time in your sense of the Christian nature of your people got these grand cathedrals here. We are the 500th anniversary of Protestant Reformation. These were the reformers once just plundered the word of God you got these grand cathedrals and they're just tourist attraction. They stand empty and you look at the rise of, say the practice of Islam in the formerly reformed Christian countries in Europe is post-Christian. I think in many ways we sort of are either in or rapidly heading towards a post-Christian America always had a relativistic out like a foot but it seemed to have been kept in check. There was a sense in which there was a respect for what we would've labeled Judeo-Christian values and within recent turn of events.

Those of been set aside for a very, almost rapid secular resume and relativism and so I think it's safe to say that what we are experiencing is the post-Christian culture (not true of all towns in all and all places across America, but he certainly see it and you certainly see it. The media and cultural recall, the gatekeepers of culture, slightly post-Christian worldview. You touched on something important when you said there'd always been kind of this respect. For Christians, even if people were secular, even if people didn't go to church.

There was sort of a goal on got along okay. I'm fine with Christians. I'm not one, but I'm okay. The hostility though is what is now and the willingness of so many people to express out outright hostility toward Christians. We've seen situations like this paren all Stutzman case that's just come down where she was found guilty of this. Is this florist in Washington where she was found guilty of violating antidiscrimination law simply because she told to homosexuals all serve you in my floral shop. I just don't want to participate materially in your same-sex wedding.

This hostility why you think it's getting so hostile to look at it on to level. I think on the one hand, there's always been hostility to the gospel always been sensitive. We see this right in the pages of the New Testament that Christ himself was stumbling an offense, and the gospel itself is presented as an offense right. I think what is catching us off guard and you you could say will Christian America. How deep was that Christian commitment of a Christian America wanted a lot of nominalism, whatever you want to say about it coming out of the 70s 80s 90s even to the zeros as you were saying. There's a sense in which Christianity formed the core of American civil society was almost as if in order to be a respective you needed to be up a member of the church wanted to now let the detriment and so that that turnaround that were seeing may be that what we're experiencing now hostility is more the norm and what we had experienced was the anomaly rather than the other way around.

We might just be experiencing what most of our brothers and sisters in Christ of experienced yeah that's a good point that we had a nice reprieve that we were you stupid.

It's an anomaly in the history of the church.

I think it is an even look at our brothers and sisters around the globe, many of them face and credible situations of hostility and persecution down here in your world trying to work with some folks to get some materials in Arabic and they are insensitive countries and we pray for the security of their lives for the work they're doing, you know, we face hostility we face persecution, but we also recognize the intensity with which some of those and other places of the globe. The intensity of the persecution they face. It's a challenge we know I was reading about this poll that was taken Christianity today just reported on this and they said evangelicals are the only religious group in the US that has not developed a better reputation over the past few years.

And Americans have become less likely to know and evangelical, more so than any other faith tradition and I thought well that's a tragedy because were supposed to be going out into the world and proclaiming the gospel. How is it that you would surmise more Americans don't know any evangelicals. I always thought there were plenty of us to call around, but maybe not great.

The light right there in our world while he's too cold. I think one is there is a growing hostility towards Christianity on behalf of sort of gatekeepers. It was always there in the University you feed in the media you see it and those who are pushing pop culture. I can tell you I almost to the day I heard it the first time I heard it. The there's a rapper named Michael Moore right very popular, and he did his true love song which celebrate a same-sex relationship in the video went along with and when I heard about that. I thought this is the beginning of the end that represents think in 2014 when that song was released prior to the Supreme Court case, but in rap music, of all places which this module culture right, almost misogynist culture of rap music you had that song. So on the one hand, you've got a lot of flexing of the muscle of those who hold the keys to culture on the other hand, the church has really obscured the gospel many places in the church resort given up our birthright. We've given up on our theological identity and so when we find ourselves in a situation where were not at war so to speak, we can maybe survive a little bit but all of a sudden once the heat is turned up the pressure comes then we'll have the wherewithal to stand because resort is sold away that ability is that structure that we need help working to get into time for confidence trusting God in a post-Christian society. When we come in today.

My guest Dr. Steven Nichols from Reformation Bible college will be back after this hi this is Janet never did you miss the deadline to sign up for your program. At the end of 2020. If so, I have good news special enrollment period is taking place now through August 15, meaning that if you're looking to enroll in the new healthcare program for 2021 you can do so without the need for a qualifying event more than 200,000 Americans trust liberty healthcare for their healthcare needs. Liberty healthcare is a nonprofit healthcare sharing ministry that offers affordable healthcare sharing programs starting as low as $199 per month.

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Discover more about the power of today for more information call 855-585-4237 855-585-4237 liberty I this is Janet Mefford for pre-born Candace talks about finding out she was pregnant. Thankfully, an ultrasound provided by pre-born allowed her to hear her baby's heartbeat sonogram sealed the deal for me baby was like this tiny little spectrum of hope.

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To donate, call 855402 baby 855402 baby or there's a banner to you're listening to your content efforts today and if you look across the landscape. It can be demoralizing. There is so much in the media so much in Hollywood so much on the Internet so much in our daily lives.

In school and in our neighborhoods that can really really shake us out of our lethargy and make us confront the truth that we are increasingly living in a post-Christian society, but is Dr. Steven Nichols points out, it is a time for confidence. That's the title of his new book were talking about. So let's get into the good news here Dr. Nichols were cut or covered all the bad news, but words were leading toward the good is which is we do have reason for confidence and the first reason that she given the book is we should have confidence in God himself. Such a basic truth but why do we need to start there and say church you can be confident and God there because I wanted to start with Isaiah chapter 40 I love chapter 40 you could just care about their situation.

Israel is on the Ito captivity by Babylon superpower, Israel's justice tiny nation to the prophet Isaiah is writing this book on the Ito captivity. Now he's looking past the captivity and he's writing to those who will be in exile and after Babylon comes along Medo Persia. This is Cyrus. One of his titles was the king of the four corners of the universe. This was a tyrant that makes our rulers today look like playing with blank vicious ruler, Israel was under his come in. Along comes the prophet to say you will be judged. You will be taken out of the land because you broke the covenant. But God will restore your God will deliver you and Isaiah chapter 40 begins with these wonderful words. Comfort oh comfort my people right will be made flak and you'll be brought right back into the promised land and it verse nine chapter 40 of the behold your God, and I think what we gain their vision of all we see is what's on the horizon we see this post-Christian moment were talking about. We can get discouraged, we need that prophetic vision to remember what is real what is eternal and we need someone to say to us, behold, your God hears the present moment. But here's the eternal reality so I want to start there. We need to launch our confidence in God.

I love that and and also in Isaiah 40 you mentioned the verses beyond that verses 10 and 11 verse 10 begins, behold, the Lord God will come with might with his arm ruling for him and there's that sense of our Lord is so strong and mighty and we can depend on him and then in verse 11.

Like a shepherd. He will tent his flock. So he's both mighty, but he's also a shepherd and it reminds us of his character that he not only is strong but he is good that he loves us and that that's something we need to hear now it's beautiful, and the more we just think about who God is one that will help you could sit and watch the news programs in the evening and just sort of be depressed, grab Isaiah grab this all read and and just remember who God is and that will just give so much balance and stability to the moment we find ourselves up. While this is a good segue because when we are considering our God and going to these passages as you mentioned, Isaiah 40, or some of the Psalms that necessitates opening the Bible. Now, this is another subject, right, I will.

You guys have been on top of these things Bible illiteracy statistics and how even in the church people are reading and studying their Bibles the way they ought to be doing. What about the importance of the word of God itself, and this is I call nuclear bomb that we have right at our disposal as the sword of the Spirit. No possible way to overestimate the power of God's word and we come into a moment here where first world Bibles under attack.

You have to see it you you look at Genesis, whether it's the same sex issue, or whether it's the transgender issue, or whether it sanctity of life issue. Whatever it is.

All three of those are in the first two chapters of the book of Genesis, yes.

And those are. You can't turn on the news and not see something related to those three things.

So we we need to recognize that there is a frontal assault on the word of God. Now what I'm concerned about is that we church somehow begin to think or maybe the word of God isn't so relevant to life in the 21st century these days and we begin to question what is a wonderful doctrine of Scripture. Theologians will talk about the authority of Scripture and its inerrancy and its infallibility, but to also talk about the sufficiency of Scripture. And that's really where the rubber meets the road.

I can affirm that the Bible is God's word but do I read it like it it's wisdom for my life and hitting the big one do I submit to it or do I somehow think it has to submit to me that that's really we almost have to question every day over lots of questions and we need to get into God's word so that we are saturated with his work. This is this is really what renewing our minds about being in God's word to Rollo Kurzweil at Dr. Nichols but I know you can handle it since we were talking about the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation, which is this year when you think Luther would be like car so when you think you think you would know I appreciate question a lot. I think it's only right a new darkness settled overall culture and a lack of the clear proclamation of the gospel.

We don't have time probably to get into all this, but there are evangelical theologians. These would be theologians who should know better claim to be evangelicals who deny the substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ I know and and to deny justification by faith alone and you think that's the gospel and and so I think Luther would say hey it's time for another Reformation to grab my mallet to find a church door somewhere else. Here we go again, but I can't imagine Luther and age like ours having compromising nuanced conversations and trying to find a middle ground me. I just can't see him doing it, but I see that across the church landscape. So many people are thinking this is the way we deal with the culture we find common ground and maybe we can all be friends. When is that ever been the case when the church itself and when the gospel of Christ was under assault really went when you find yourself in that moment were the ground shaking beneath your feet and shifting beneath your feet and you don't you don't feel at home anymore. You, too impulsive. One is to go hide in a cave somewhere and just wait for Christ to come back. That's not a biblical faithful response.

Now the other is to compromise and we see this left and right we seed among Christian leaders you see in wholesale compromise on Christian denominations as the last several years. Whether same-sex issue or just whatever it is, in terms of biblical faithfulness. You see them compromise.

That's where we have to say no this is not only a time for confidence. This is a time for conviction and that's where the reformers were these were men of conviction. We forget sometimes Luther he had colleagues and associates. Initially, standing alone, Luther, against the world and he was so firm in his conviction and that and that's what he does at the guide affirm.

She says here I stand and that's what we need to be any cannot afford to compromise. We sure can't. And this comes down to what Luther also inhabited that was this confidence in Christ and confidence in the gospel as you've already talked about. Now when you talked earlier about confidence in God.

People may say well how can you separate God from Christ, you have the first person the Trinity of the second person of the Trinity, but Christ's saving work on our behalf is the gospel. This is what we must put right in the center of everything we do, how do we do that though, we have to realize the true power of the gospel. I'm looking at this and the instructor one pole is under house arrest or under arrest. Rather, in Rome and he has the praetorian guard delete like seal team six strains you can imagine these guys and what is Paul saying that his imprisonment in Christ is known throughout the entire praetorian guard, and now the brothers and sisters in Rome. This is Nero's Rome are confident and boldly proclaim the gospel.

So in this moment we don't cower. We don't think will the gospel, it can't prevail against these women are so strong know we need to recognize that we must have a confidence in the gospel. The other thing that the gospel teaches us is the gospel teaches us to rest in Christ. Here's here's Luther's famous mighty Fortress is our God him and he has that line in their did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing. And that's ultimately what the gospel teaches us. The gospel teaches us know to human strength. Note to human achievement in the gospel points us to Christ in the long comes Luther that him and says one little word shall fell from. Yes, that word above all earthly powers is Christ, so that's where we need to put your confidence that confidence is distress in the hope where you any other eternal law think it is an eternal hope it's a living hope, and that's with the beauty of a biblical hope there's two things that I find beautiful about how the New Testament offers teach us about Hope one is the certainty so we can hope for a lot more like a wish to read when Scripture talks about Hope you can bank on it because God is a faithful God first thing we have to grasp when we say hope. Biblically speaking, were talking about certainty, but the second thing it's always a hope for now and you see this in first John chapter 3 in this first three verses and John says whoever has this hope in him purifies himself, even as he is pure. So you're looking at this against the backdrop of the first century decadent, hedonistic, Roman culture sliding right into barbarian is in here we are in the 21st century decadent moral culture and what we need to do live your life. That said, it's time for confidence. The name of the book by Dr. Steven Nichols, thank you so much Dr. Nichols for being with us and will be right back.

This archived broadcast of Janet for today is brought to you by pre-born for $140 you can provide ultrasounds to five women in crisis pregnancies.

Call now 855402, baby.

That's 855-402-2229 or Janet met here's your hose show where that content ever today.

Proverbs 1518 tells us a hot tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is sent comes a quarrel. This is an excellent reminder for Christian parents who may be dealing with angry children.

Patients comes a quarrel. What you do know if those corals come frequently and dealing with your child's anger becomes increasingly difficult to get some advice on that today from Tricia Goyer. She is homeschooling mom of 10 a grandmother of four and her book is called calming angry kids help and hope for parents in the whirlwind.

Welcome Tricia so good to have you here.

How are you thank you for having me good. I feel like I'm taking you away from kids want just by interviewing used my program quiet you might hear that I been there. God bless you. I'm glad that you're able to join us. You really have a full house.

So tell me a little bit about your experiences with angry kids. You obviously have experience with this nap after Don and I had nearly raped me biological. To adulthood. We decided to open our home to adoption vapid one then to a group of four and you can imagine the chaos in the challenges of adding kids here home but really what the biggest struggle is the anger that we thought it was something that we really didn't expect that once they moved and how my right. That hurt so much on the girl all the girls will be adopted between the ages of 11 and 14 only got them so they had many years of abuse of pain of being moved around in the foster care for them until all the emotion had built that by now that there is a safe place.

It kind of exploded and I did know how to handle it had been a mom for 23 years of time and I didn't know what to do with the kids that we went the trauma therapy and learned a lot.

A great tool for dealing with angry kids. That's tough and and of course your three biological children. I'm sure they got angry at times to maybe for different reasons, but you have to deal with anger with all kids at some point, yet a different type of anger was that you have the fit lasted 3045 minute throwing things that playing a really horrible thing you just try to stir your anger. I never thought I was an angry person until I have a 13-year-old cream in my face and I really had to work to control anger. So what do I get that a lot. A kid every tidbit of anger at one time and the other but I'm sometimes some kids to struggle with anger more than others. True districts without getting into too much detail when you're talking about.

For example, one of the instances where you had one of your adopted children are former foster children experiencing anger not related necessarily to your home but related to what that child had already been through what sorts of things came up just in general one think like for example we were camping in one of my little six-year-old adopted.

She burned herself and I was attending to her what that 13-year-old ran up and set alight. I put myself last night to help take care of you in a minute and all of a sudden the anger came out of her that she was yelling at me.

She ran off the runway and I just didn't understand, but that had triggered all other people in her life that she felt didn't care for her to the side and in that moment with anything.

I try to deal with this creepy six-year-old I mean to hurt her feelings but with those type of thing that would kinda trigger things in there's many things a trigger that with something from her past, but even with every parent or things like our kids are hungry. If they're overwhelmed or anxious. If they're nervous I'm after that I'll be thinking trigger anger and often parents understand where the anger is coming from. I'm I think that when so import the pipe and really asked the kid what is going on and find out why they are exploding in anger. Yes, right. So you do have different types of anger is you've mentioned the mild anger to the rage you can have all kinds of a range of emotions when it comes to anger, but you can also have the length of anger coming across as being different. For example, you might have a child who has a brief temper tantrum and then you might have a child who's angry every single day out in the second circumstance you mentioned going to trauma therapy with your children who needed longer-term help but what you say to the mom for example are the dad who's listening.

Who says I have a child who wakes up angry is angry all day and goes to bed angry.

What in the world do I do I love my child, but I can't seem to reach him yeah and I had that I went to therapy and what I think that if they wanted me to let side 5 to 10 minutes a day to just spend time in a non-angry moment with that child so with the older tenet might be like doing Arnel or looking at a magazine that they're interested and I'm looking at funny video on YouTube that they want to share with me your kid, it might be seen on the planetoid and really letting them know you have their full attention.

So you might be talking about are you craving them for what they're doing or what their activity is like my little fun with white in the car that even thank great job lining up the cars.

Are you such a good job sharing with mommy turn your cart and it be like what have to do with anger that so many times have the feeling like there's not a connection with that though Bill maybe were rushed all the time, were always putting them down or what they what we may feel just like telling him that pickup there always right like were putting them down and really spending that time in a non-angry moment.

Building a bond. Amazingly help in the angry moment, and then they don't be at the enemy, but someone who doesn't really love them and care for them and their support plan and it's amazing how we usually just go through life, going Friday and was causing this and that time can make a huge difference. You do that though Tricia with a number of the sheer number of children that you have in your home because that certainly has to stretch you and stretch your husband and it must wear on you after a while. Just being needed so much and I'm like everyone, I cannot help you will usually all pray about it and take inventory of the day and take inventory of the kids. I have one my eight-year-old love quality time sitting on my lap being held, and so I see that she's kind of Howdy and angry. I know she just need some quality time pulling to the side. One of my older daughter. Today she like mom, can I help you cook dinner and she was coming up with something and I knew she wanted that mom one on one time so I kind of see the ones that are more vocal about it, but also the ones that are quiet that kind of pull away. That doesn't seem like maybe there exploding in anger but there's something you kind of help holding a five I'll try to take again it's a five minute take them to the side. If they hear what's going on what happened yesterday and just trying to figure out what's happening and really I think sometimes we think we have to take the child for lunch and take them anything but take about 5 to 10 minutes pulling into the side stopping our busy pace and just focusing on that child can go a long long way what you do, Tricia, when you have a moment where the child is just completely irrational meeting.

I've been there. I'm sure every mother has been there at some point where the kid is just mad and no matter how I talked to the child or spend time with the child. The EEs just in a bad mood today.

How do you handle that situation as a mom when when you encounter that sort of thing I learned called flipping the lead when the child is angry and emotional their limits, but imagine your hands on their fingers are up finger part isn't touching your palm and there's no connection between their thinking brain and feeling brain one third lien and in the middle of emotions are not thinking that anytime I think I might have try to rationalize with them.

We try to talk them into doing the right thing. We try to talk them into calming down. That doesn't work, their emotions don't let the thinking brain be there and so really I'll just say okay you need to go to your room and we have something called a calm bag that had things in there like Plato blowing bubble drawing paper that they can use something to calm themselves down so they may go to the room if they choose.

The blue blue bubble though when you blow bubbles you taken a breath.

You breathe out a breath and doing breathing exercises, but then they after they calm themselves down.

It can be an hour later coming to W not to be in the next five or 10 minute then went there calm then were able to have a conversation about what was really going on.

But when those emotions are required whether their emotions or my emotions sometimes get involved. There is no way to communicate in a healthy way and I think when the heart of thing that letting the kid go to the room and often plan the door knowing that we will take care of the situation in an hour because I want to let me get all people now and that does that work take that break other usually pretty cooperative when you say time for your calm bag over and below some bubbles for a while.

Are they okay with that. Normally you know what we had to do is train them in non-conflict moment great thing to pick out the thing and then they understand and once they get you through it you I would say most private, but sometimes there just to be disagreeable, but most the time you're able to go on the boat that actually I'm shot I'm part of the money after 10 minute book, that okay and ready to talk now and I like that. I thought sometimes yeah you and to just train them what to do now, that's it. Logistically, I guess, break, calming, angry kids is her bucket will come back right after this hi this is Janet effort here in need of a new healthcare program that you missed the open enrollment deadline in December. It's not too late for special enrollment period is taking place now through August 15.

During this time you can enroll in the healthcare program of your choice without the need for a qualifying event. This means you can now enroll in a healthcare sharing program from liberty help share with memberships for individuals, couples and families. You can find a variety of options to best of your medical needs. Plus, you really can choose the doctor and hospital of your choice.

Best of all membership options start for as low as $199 a month more than 200,000 Americans trust liberty healthcare for their healthcare needs.

What are you waiting for discover more about the power of today for more information call 855-585-4237 855-585-4237 or liberty help liberty fellow Christians are suffering in Africa.

This is Janet my for pastor luminal ministers in Mozambique near the Indian Ocean. He's been beaten and jailed.

Many times, not merely for what he believes but for how he lives out his faith.

You say luminal has been quietly and faithfully sharing the gospel with Muslims and many are coming to Christ, but extremists have assaulted luminal his family and many in his church, but they're not asking for an end to the persecution they face. Instead, they're praying for God's word to endure and persevere as new followers of Christ seen people being changed by reading the Scripture giving a Bible to somebody's at greatest gift you can give somebody life through the ministry of Bible league international you can send God's word to a new believer in Africa. Five dollars sends one Bible $100 sends 20 call now 800 yes word that's 800 YE asked WORD or there's an open the floodgates Bibles for Africa banner to you're listening to you know you are angry With us. Tricia Goyer angry kids help and hope for parents went and she is a homeschooling mom of 10 God's you Tricia I don't know how you do this, but I think for every Christian parent listening, we can all relate to the concept of children getting mad at time, sometimes rationally or sometimes related to something more deep and traumatic. In the case of some of these children you talked about whom you've adopted what you do.

That way, here's here's a typical thing. What you do when the kids fight with each other.

What happens when they get mad at each other and then you're in the position of having to break up fights all the time. I know that can wear on your patients. After a while as well.

Exactly what I'll try to do is separate them and say what is making your matter how come you're angry and letting them verbalize what going on. I met maybe my younger sister took their cooking lesson be technology for that they are angry sometimes will they calm down. Don't talk that way and were not acknowledging that there have anger and then I'll say okay you're angry I would be angry if my sister did that to me to I will take care of her.

Let's talk about how you're handling the situation, and I will talk about you know being a peacemaker and what can you do instead of yelling at yourself there and I think pulling them away separately once they're both there and you're trying to like referee doesn't help. But letting them know that you that would make me angry to you but let's figure out how to handle her anger from this point on and then going talk into the puddling. Okay you you did something to make your sister angry. How would you feel if she did that and just talking to them separately really really help letting them speed that their behavior impacts other people. I make an impact and positively impact them negatively in my kids go fight all that I really helping to pull them apart and helping them through the behavior then you I could start the fee as they start to build the anger you know what I'm sorry I didn't treat you that way and it's really helping to train them to know how to respond in the future.

That's really good course. The Bible has a lot to say about anger. You don't let the sun go down on your anger. The proverb that I quoted at the beginning of our interview, you use the word of God. When you are trying to train your children to behave in a godly way and trying to disciple them. How do you use the Bible in those moments, or how do you prepare those children for those moments before they occur. Question what we try to do is memorize Scripture birth to their home will bid up one thing think I will talk about anger and like you mentioned that what I find but are thing go down on her anger, or even 11. That really helped us the most.

52 men, the fruit of the spirit, so I remember as having difficult time with the kids just not treating each other well in making to their angry and I just pray like God change you kids and you might have given you my word, we memorize the fruit of the spirit out. We went through. We could say okay are you loving are you kind are you gentle and when one cuts word with in their heart. They start the fee well that was a very how it was a very kind but God has given us so many school in the word and it just takes us taking the time to memorize the Scripture and you love you but they will be Memorized too hard and burst for 30 days even that one time or two times through and by the end of that month. You can memorize and put our kids the high God's word and art absolutely and for mom to. I mean how many times and in a parenting moment will a verse come into your head.

And all of a sudden you feel convicted all right. Lord, I need to calm down I need to get myself together hard it it does strain you at times is the mom when you're trying to keep it together. Do you struggle at all with modeling patients or or dealing with the issue of being a good example for your children and how do you cope with that.

You know where my biological could I never thought I had a anger problem and I get mad, but when I had to get them up like they knew of the dock to get new head of the push my buttons that are really getting mad at me kind of yelling alike.

But not me.

Not my nature. And one thing that I learned not late with our kids and I talked to one of the therapist about that that you may want to put your button because when you relate with them. Only it's not about them and their problem mom and her yelling teacher and all the fun they selected Victor you're yelling at me about me and then you can even deal with their problem again. I have to apologize. I asked for forgiveness for my attitude that's really helped me they you know when I escalate. They ran helped me to just remember that if you press on? Bed they calm and realize that I need to stay calm so we can deal with the root of the problem that's really going on in our hearts right it is you address in your book. There are different forms of anger, but there are also different age levels. For example, when you talk about tiny children. If you're talking about a baby who's crying because her diaper is dirty, or you're talking about a toddler who's just needing a nap. What about those really small children who are not rational. They don't have the impulse control. They don't have the words to be able to convey to you. I'm mad and here's why. What you say.

For example, to the young mom on how to deal with anger in small children and in you always have to worry these days about advising Christians you don't want to lose your temper with a very small child and possibly hurt that child when really what you need to do is control yourself. Yeah, absolutely not realizing like we are filling heartfelt and emotional with a crying baby image of okay to put them in their walk away. Yeah, give yourself and have begun to give themselves a chance to come down with toddlers. One important thing is that we need to prepare for angry moments like they're going to happen and a lot of time these two, three, four years ago. Not for euro old kids.

They're not prepared for what going to happen. For example, my oldest daughter, she would get angry when we go to church and all these people try to talk to her and she would get so mad and I didn't understand it and I came to realize she didn't know how to respond to talk to her about how pretty her hair looked her her dress. She would get so overwhelmed and anxious that she did know how to respond that you just get angry and so we would practice the home that they okay on the practice, you look nice today and then you say thank you very much all you have and preparing our kids for whatever situation maybe we know that a friend coming over and our kids have a hard time sharing and just say okay your your little buddies coming over to the toys that we can put up that you don't have to share their favorite thing.

Let's just put them aside.

Then there's knocking to be a huge fight. They don't know maybe they just got up to the birthdate. They don't they're not ready to share in and say okay let them think that we can share and then the other friend comes over all the fun, the writing up looking at you could play with my ball preparing them ahead of time.

I think that we have the ball. We know how responses should be.

We know how we should act, but it's really training the kids so they don't get overwhelmed and don't get angry in the moment.

That's right. What you do about teaching your older kids how to manage their anger because at that age should become something different you know I'll say to my kids.

For example, I don't care if you disagree with me just, you know, control your voice. I mean I want to be screened at whatever I think a lot of parents go through that.

But do you have any tricks of the trade for helping your older kids manage their anger when you're angry. These are the rules yet and I think how many times you are. Kids will want new responsibility, and it will say okay I know that you want whatever new responsibility that let's work on the thing that I'm feeling right now. So when it moment that not every moment you talk about okay you are very disrespectful to your dad or you raise your voice when you're talking to me.

Let's work on those things and then we can get the new drivers license or whatever your money and letting them see that their action have come with responsibility that they're going to be responsible people they need to be able to control the boys controller actions, I think so many times kids assume that they can just move to the next level of having responsibility. But if we see things in our lives that they need to work on at the perfect time to teach them. This is what responsibility is and yeah you can disagree with me but if you disagree with me, you find a time to talk to me about it but shot in my faith is not that you what you have been talking about talking to them about it in a situation where it's not an angry moment and sometimes double take one of my older kids are going on Aaron they're sitting next to me in the field. Not all be able to ring up a conversation, you know that was a very respect for the way he treated that left light is not a conflict moment were able to sit side-by-side rebel talk through something and again with another level of training them to get off the credo if you're in the real world and you're dealing with an employer. If you talk that way you not have a job I really a training situation when it comes to those older kids yet and so much of what you're saying is is good common sense where you say in a different moment deal with this or deal with that. Send the child to another room in the midst of the temper tantrum or talk about why you are angry when things calm down. A lot of it is in the timing is, and it went have those conversations yeah absolutely I think we are. We could be saying all the right think we could talk about respect we could speak young talking about what God wants to treat each other, but a bit then the moment when their emotions are wearing it like where the teacher on Charlie Brown while going through at all and and then in the moment when you take time to go get a sonic drink and food bye-bye five. You talk about the baby and then there open to listening listening in the middle.

Yeah, absolutely. Will the name of the book is coming angry kids. Tricia Goyer R. Gaston, Tricia God bless you, thank you so much for being here really appreciate your wisdom and advice on the issue of anger and kids. Thank you for having me. All right God bless you. Thanks a lot for being here, and thank you for listening to Janet my for today as always our see their

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