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Mitch Glaser (Passover) Nancy Anderson (Marriage)

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July 3, 2020 5:00 am

Mitch Glaser (Passover) Nancy Anderson (Marriage)

Janet Mefferd Today / Janet Mefferd

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July 3, 2020 5:00 am

What is the link between Passover and the subsequent acts of God that have opened the door for both Jews and Gentiles to come to know the Messiah? Dr. Mitch Glaser, president of Chosen People Ministries, joins me to talk about it and his book, "Messiah in the Passover." Plus: Nancy Anderson explains how to put hedges around your marriage to prevent adultery. Her book is called, "Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome." That and more on the Friday's JANET MEFFERD TODAY.

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This Janet Mefford today archived broadcast is brought to you by by the lead international please help us in 1200 Bibles to persecuted Christians in Asia. Five dollars sends one Bible $35. Send seven. Call now 800 yes word 800 YESWORD 800 yes word or there's a banner to click it. Janet Mefford.com is our confidence is in Christ alone, I sort of know those plagues to send a strong message to Pharaoh to let his people go attend one of course, was the death of the firstborn in Egypt, but an exit is chapter 12 God told his people to sacrifice a spotless lamb and then mark their door posts. With its blood. This blood would ensure that they would be passed over and then be saved from the plague of death. That's why we call it the Passover and it isn't just confined to the Old Testament we pick up in verse 20. In chapter 5, for example, where it tells us that Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us.

And as one commentator remarked the Passover was the memorial of Israel's redemption from the bondage of Egypt and the Lord's supper is the memorial of the church's redemption from the heavier bondage of sin and Satan, and as every faithful Israelite would surely be found keeping the Passover so will every true and faithful Christian be found celebrating the Lord's supper. How much though.

Do we really understand the Passover and what is the link between the Passover and the subsequent acts of God and of open the door for both Jews and Gentiles to enjoy his blessings while working to talk about it today with Dr. Mitch Glaser, who is president of chosen people ministries and coeditor of the new book.

It is called Messiah in the Passover and wonderful to have you here Mitch, how are you doing wonderful introduction. Well thank you I was trying to give a little brief synopsis there so people would understand that there is this thread that continues the scarlet thread that continues of redemption is a great question you ask. I think at the outset of your book. Why should Christians and messianic Jews study the Passover that was so long ago now or in the New Testament were under the new covenant. Why does Passover matter anymore because Jesus is the drool or the dog Jewish holidays starting drool when the drool was put in the right setting so beautiful that's remarkable.

More brightly when you when you say Passover will and the death of the Lamb of God, it takes away the sin of the world. When you see the new covenant fulfilled the 20 true. What initiated the new covenant broken body and shed blood just just makes it so beautiful and so we wrote the book so that Christians can better understand Passover and even be able to celebrate the Passover, particularly with their with their children so that they could teach their children at home. Jewish people teach their children only Jewish people don't teach the children was all so I was.

My mother never taught me that arise. Yes, I thought like well that's what makes it so wonderful why.

Absolutely. Now this is a good place to start.

I think because when you talk about the Seder in the Passover meal dead Jewish families will celebrate. This is often pretty foreign to Gentile Christians have never most of them experience that I've done that at a messianic church. Once I went to a Seder which was fascinating but maybe you could unpack for listeners a little bit. The significance there, particularly in Passover in in the description of Passover that I just mentioned in Exodus chapter 12 why that is significant when we look at Christ well Jewish people over time.

12: encounter their book about and they wrapped it up in a way to tell the story from year to year that the children would never forget what God did, delivering the Jewish people from Egypt so it's very important in the Jewish community the past story on from generation to generation.

So the rabbis develop something called a Passover Seder DER and Seder is the Hebrew word which means order and so actually what we do every year on the first two of Passover Passover look one day holiday. According to Leviticus 23. But then we had unleavened bread which is seven-day so the total holiday is really eight days Jewish people and what we do is we take the first two nights of the combined holiday. The we have a Seder we have an order of service, which doesn't point place as God exploits in the whole order to the service and all order of service is designed to tell the story of the children growing up of my grandfather, my grandparents will and our Passover Seder would take about 445 hours and so it is not reading Bible, singing songs, playing games and eating the most incredible view of the Jewish year and going literature and what I was first considering the gospel and I read through the gospel tonight and I saw that Jesus celebrated the Passover and I looked at what he did while exactly what I was raised to look at the new meeting that he's given to it so it was both very understandable yet very very new, but because I was I was raised in a strong Jewish home.

I stood that what he was doing at the Passover Seder was was basically talking about the ways in which he actually proved his death for said told the Passover and that would prove he was just amazing.

I thought that Grady that and again you can you can just call the Christian Passover doing your follow. Permission book includes all the recipes so you can even medical crap. The book concludes with a chapter on crafts for the children so important but the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. You're the middle of the Passover Seder you lift up the Lamb's fault. Behold the wire and then tell the story of Exodus 12, but you just told Janet and of course, how could you if you know the story of the end of the story.

The book over to Jesus. How could you not understand that he is the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world and Isaiah 53 course in John 128 29 behold the Lamb of God, where the sin of the world so just wonderful is that's so neat and I always thought it would be wonderful to be Jewish and then to come to faith in the Messiah because you have that entire heritage. There you could appreciate the Jewishness of Jesus and the fulfillment of all that prophecy all those types pointing forward to the Messiah and also benefit from the new covenant.

When you look so you point this out.

I think this is interesting because you say that we should refrain from reading prophetic fulfillment into every aspect of the Passover, what parts of the Passover. Would you say we need to refrain from seeing fennec fulfillment in that particular portion well, sort of a Bible study principle which I'm sure you'll agree with and that is where the New Testament shows something of the Old Testament is fulfilled and you know you're all safe ground right and so many many items of the Passover that, for example, a some people will light the candles and say the prayer of the shadows because the woman says the prayer over the candles they would say this reminds us that the Messiah would come to a woman 12 yes Isaiah 714.

Go say that and but in the New Testament the states fulfilled the same thing about the candles and so I think one of the reasons we wrote this Messiah, the Passover book clarify some of the stuff that I think some Bible pictures that don't have a strong Jewish background bars suggested by the prophetic word messianic fulfillment of what Jesus did and what what happened to the Jewish home and so think you just need to be cautious and careful but you have to.

You have so much there that you to pick anything up. And so, I'll tell you another thing about the prophetic nature of Passover, which I think you have to be raise with the substandard. The last song we sing it. Passover is a beautiful song very you can clap your hands and dance to actually very bouncy and slipshod Bobby.

Shall I year we will be in Jerusalem so we closed every Passover first bullied by The Lodge at the club because of Malachi 3 for another prophecy course Jewish people do not know that was something we could told John the Baptist. We open the door for logic. So we here in Jerusalem just about to run to a break that will come back. Dr. Mitch Glaser with us Messiah in the Passover is his return right after this you in need of a healthcare program you're in love as a member of Liberty healthcare in your part of a community comes together to share their medical expenses.

You can sign up throughout the year. With membership starting as early as the following month and there are no contracts or commitments. Grandma start as low as $199 per month and there's no network so you can choose your own doctors and hospitals. Liberty healthcare is a nonprofit ministry not insurance so your money goes toward helping other members with their eligible medical expenses in your time of need. Other members are there for you to, you can feel good knowing your part of a community of like-minded individuals who understand the importance of people coming together to bear one another's burdens. Find out more by calling 855-565-2561 855-565-2561 or visit Liberty healthcare.org/GMT that's liberty help share.org/GMT this is Janet Mefford and were partnering with Bible league international on fan the flame Bibles for Asia are shared goal is to send 1200 Bibles from the Janet Mefford listening family to our brothers and sisters in Christ in Asia in this region of the world.

Bibles are scarce for many reasons, including the remoteness of where people live in the Philippines, church planters and evangelists trained by using resources from my building international travel many hours by car boats and my foot to lead Bible studies in remote places in the country send them the Bibles they need in order to share Christ and to see lives transformed for his glory, you can join other Janet Mefford listeners by sending a Bible for $5.18 for $75 just call 800 yes word 800 YDS WORD 800 yes word or there's a banner to click a Janet Mefford.com just look for fan the flame Bibles for Asia and God bless you for caring listening to great to have you here and also great to have with us Dr. Mitch Glaser, who is president of chosen people ministries and coeditor of the book Messiah in the Passover I apps love this book and talking about this issue of Old Testament prophecy fulfilled in Jesus Christ and you were telling us Mitch a little bit before we went to the break about what you do during this Seder and you were describing this last song that you saying next year will be in Jerusalem, you invite Elijah to come in this sort of thing and talking about the prophetic nature of Passover, and I wanted to let you finish that because that's such an interesting portion of what you're talking about here. Every judo prophetic nature because at the end of the Passover course. Elijah doesn't come next year next year next year. The Passover has always been for completion or that part of the nature Passover every judo that one of the side columns were going to experience a greater degree of production and one of the only bottles for salvation reduction is God's deliverance if you ask a Jewish person. How do you understand God's deliverance filter. Well, it's like the Passover, God delivers corporate national is not as personal as we would like it to be. The New Testament explained to but there is this concept that one day the fire will come gather back the Jewish people bring us back to the land of Israel.

I will establish his kingdom. And so every Passover we say okay you didn't come this time next because the whole point is that Elijah brings with us I would not supply the Malachi 34 stuff we talked about Jewish tradition. It's the nature of the Passover would be off prophetic strange that when Jesus sat down with his disciples in Luke 22 verse 519. For example, he takes the bread and breaks it says this is my body given for you judicially numbered something the background that the Jewish Passover Seder. We have three pieces of matzoh one refers to God the decks went to the priestly others in the people. The middle piece the piece of the priestess taken out broken in half. Wrap it up. What back at the end of the Passover, then distributed to everybody's. We don't know that every single part of this but the tradition is very very old. We understand the deal I'm so Jesus took maybe the middle piece of flotsam, but he broke it, and then he wrapped it SUV wrapped the barrel would be buried in the Truman back he would be raise from the dead and then if you do it the way I do, even then took pieces of this bread, gave to his disciples said God told him to eat so that would be just a beautiful picture of what he did at Calvary and then 3rd cup is called the copper reduction that's picking after the meal, Luke 2220, we see that Jesus took the cup after the meal, so we know the copper reduction that's very early Jewish tradition and so he took the cup of production which provided us of the shed blood of the Lamb. And now instead of the shed blood of the Lamb is basically saying this, should we love you apply shed blood of the Lamb of God takes away the sin of the world can no longer suggest we choose book Jews and Gentiles in no longer only refers to reduction from Egypt to the greater reduction as you mentioned reduction from the bondage of so when you see these will all where Jesus declares that the people fell very person at Passover just just sunny beautiful yes so Jewish Gentile Christians of writing a Passover every time the tape got there just is no. Yeah that's right execs to ask emits from a Jewish perspective is you you go through this Seder as a practicing Jew and I know there are different types of Jewish traditions, but what they do with the remembrance of the blood that covers the doorframe and protects you know when you go back to Exodus and how God passed over because of the blood of the Lamb is there much discussion about the shedding of blood be necessary for the forgiveness of sins.

You know the temple was destroyed in a deal at that feel that theological issue right but that's what we mean by not we have to be just a little cautious about what we prophetic. But then again some of it has to do with Bible Jewish tradition so biblically I think we can speak typology only if it's mentioned in the New Testament so Jesus being the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

First Peter 120 Revelation so Jesus being the Lamb is so real I 50.

The real thing.

So these are biblical faith, but you're asking me a question about Jewish tradition. So, in the Jewish tradition is there much discussion at Passover about the blood of the Lamb. The answer is no and so I wish there was. But that is not true because it is biblical.

But there's not a big thing in Jewish tradition and part of that is because the temple was destroyed and saw the value of shedding blood: sort of really lost really lost relevance because Jewish people went so long without basically another question might be, if so, how do Jewish people for forgiveness of sin without a couple yes that would that's an interesting point because it's also has to do with sacrifice because we look at the sacrifice of our lips, our prayers are hands be checked for possible heart which is attritional. The soul and with all of these sacrifices we make sort of thought counterbalance our sin, then we have a good year and so this is where the war on the day of atonement is on Passover.

But again, certainly the goal. Jesus, of course, when he celebrated Passover and couples there, but I Jewish tradition has really grown up and really focused on not being there so little. All throughout the Passover justice wall the future, the future reduction the coming of the Messiah to return to Israel and the rebuilding of the couple so that it's all part of the Passover tradition, but not a lot of discussion about toting power block. Interesting yes that only 7 to 11.

Yeah, that was always a question for me and I talked to some Jewish friends about that before, and I would raise that issue will how are you forgetting well and that can opens the door to talk about the Messiah, Jesus. What about celebrating the Seder going back to what you are discussing before Mitch and the value of being able to go through Seder meal and see the significance of Christ in the Seder meal. Why do you think that that's a really good tool for seeing the significance of Passover for, especially for Gentile Christians who art is familiar with the tradition as you would be well very important for children because it's very tactile. There is horseradish. Chopped out. There's this parsley salt water matzoh unleavened bread to eat lunch on the quality of the makes a lot of noise when you read it, so the Passover experiences designed to be unforgettable. So I think it's value to children, and as I close, I present beside the Passover. Many many churches all throughout the year. Can God especially during the Passover season, I always like to remind folks that adults also love crafts so no we designed for the children, but adults like you and so and so I think it's memorable so I could be memorable and so I think that's why it's so good and I think that one of the philosophies in Jewish life that has a lot to do with raising children, and the doctors goes on Jewish and I had good Jewish parents Jewish parents Jewish people think Ivy will vary fairly focused but a lot of fun for kids and so one of the questions so I think there's a real paralleled the great lesson Jewish people always feel that we are one generation away from forgetting everything that God taught us good for us if we neglect regular children so great Jewish lesson. I think Christians know intuitively but I think it's it's good to hear it that training the children remember what God is done for the most important things we can do a lot Passover is a great tool to do it for certain I would say, also from personal experience. It really makes you look at the Lord's supper in a new and fresh way and experience the significance of what the Lord did when he offered us his body and his blood in that meal.

It means so much more. When you understand Passover. It surely enhances that significance. For I would imagine most people who experience a Seder.

We have all THE PRESCRIPTIVE ELEVEN AND I HAVE A NEW BOOK AND IT WAS WRITTEN BY A GENTILE CHRISTIAN GUY WHO ATTENDED OUR SEMINARY TRAINING PROGRAM IN BROOKLYN WHERE YOU GOT A POOL OF TRAINING AND EVEN HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT, SO I'M WATCHING READING THAT CHAPTERS JUST A BLESSING BECAUSE HE'S GROWN A LOT IN HIS UNDERSTANDING OF IT. I THINK WHEN YOU CELEBRATE A MESSIANIC OR CHRISTIAN PASSOVER SEDER AND TAKE THE LORD'S SUPPER WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF THE PASSOVER SEDER OF THE WORSHIP SERVICE. EATING A MEAL AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU ALMOST FEEL LIKE YOU DOING YOU JUST LIKE JESUS.

GOOD JUST LIKE THE DISCIPLES THAT IT IS LIFE-CHANGING BECAUSE ALL OF OF THE SHED BLOOD OF THE LAMB OF THE UNLEAVENED BOX OR THE WILL BINDERS TO REFRAIN FROM SIN BECAUSE LOTS OF LOVE AND SYMBOLISM WHICH ABSOLUTELY WAS THE NAME OF THE BOOK IS MESSIAH IN THE PASSOVER. DR. MITCH GLASER, SPENDING TIME WITH US AND SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU HERE MITCH GOD BLESS YOU AND THANKS GOD LOVES TO WRITE THANK YOU AND WILL BE BACK ON JANET MEFFORD TODAY. THIS JANET MEFFORD TODAY ARCHIVED BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BY THE LEAD INTERNATIONAL PLEASE HELP US IN 1200 BIBLES TO PERSECUTED CHRISTIANS IN ASIA. FIVE DOLLARS CENTS ONE BIBLE $35.07 SEVEN CALL NOW 800 YES WORD 800 WHY ESW ORD 800 YES WORD OR THERE'S A BANNER TO CLICK IT.

JANET MEFFORD.COM JANET MEFFORD TODAY AND HERE'S YOUR POST CONTENT MEFFORD TODAY THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY IS GOD SEVENTH COMMANDMENT TO US AND YET IT IS CLEAR THAT IT IS NOT ALWAYS OBEYED. AND THAT'S TRUE NOT ONLY IN THE WORLD BUT ALSO IN THE CHURCH, AND YOU CAN EVEN READ ABOUT IT IN THE BIBLE, DAVID, FOR EXAMPLE. MY NEXT GUEST, THOUGH HIS PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THIS AND AND NOW NANCY ANDERSON IS OUT WITH A BOOK ABOUT IT. IT'S CALLED AVOIDING THE GREENER GRASS SYNDROME HOW TO GROW AFFAIR PROOF HEDGES AROUND YOUR MARRIAGE, AND NANCY. IT'S GREAT TO HEAR. THANK YOU. WONDERFUL TO BE WITH YOU JANET. WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

SO YOU SAY YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON INFIDELITY BECAUSE OF YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH YOUR HUSBAND TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHAT BROUGHT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE. MAYBE A LITTLE BACKGROUND ON YOUR MARRIAGE OKAY WE WERE MARRIED ALMOST 40 YEARS AGO AND WE WERE FRIENDS AND WE GOT ALONG FAIRLY WELL, AT LEAST WE THOUGHT WE DID, BUT THEN WE GOT MARRIED AND THE FLAWS THAT WE'VE BEEN COVERING UP STARTED TO BUBBLE UP AND WE BEGAN TO SEE THINGS IN EACH OTHER THAT WE DIDN'T LIKE. AND INSTEAD OF WORKING ON THOSE THINGS AND ADDRESSING THOSE THINGS DIRECTLY IN MAYBE GETTING HELP WITH THOSE THINGS. MY RESPONSE WAS TO PULL AWAY FROM HIM TO BE ANGRY AT HIM. THEN HE STARTED TO RESENT ME AND THE GAP GOT WIDER AND I WAS VERY DISCONTENT AND SOMEONE AT WORK STARTED FLIRTING WITH ME AND TELLING ME I WAS PRETTY AND WONDERFUL AND SMART AND ALL THE THINGS MY HUSBAND WASN'T SAYING I'M NOT EXCUSING MY BEHAVIOR, BUT A MARRIAGE.

VINCENT DISTANT AND COLD IS A SET UP FOR TROUBLE AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AND I WENT IN SEARCH OF GREENER GRAPH NOW OR BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.

CHRISTIANS AT THE TIME THAT YOU GOT MARRIED WE WERE. I HAD BEEN ACTUALLY SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. DURING THAT JESUS PEOPLE MOVEMENT I GOT SAVED IN THE 70S. MY PLAN WAS NOT A CHRISTIAN UNTIL ACTUALLY AFTER WE MET, BUT I WAS REALLY NOT SERVING THE LORD AND TOGETHER AS A COUPLE. WE STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH. WE JUST FOUND EXCUSES NOT TO DO THE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE THAT WE NEEDED TO DO AND SO BECAUSE OF THAT WE WERE DRIFTING FROM EACH OTHER BUT ALSO FROM THE LORD'S WILL THAT HAPPEN SOMETIME SO YOU EMBARKED ON AN AFFAIR WITH THIS COWORKER OF YOURS. HOW DID THAT UNFOLD. WHAT WERE SOME OF THE INTERIM STEPS THAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN DISSATISFACTION WITH YOUR MARRIAGE AND THEN ENGAGING IN A FULL-BLOWN AFFAIR. WELL, IT WAS JUST THAT IT WAS A LITTLE LITTLE DECISIONS THAT LED TO BIG DECISIONS ON THE FIRST ONE WAS WE WERE JUST FRIENDS MAINLY LIKE THE SAME KIND OF MUSIC AND AN OUTLOOK THAT WAS INNOCENT UNTIL ONE DAY WE WERE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN A MEETING IN HIS LEG THIGH BUMPED UP AGAINST MINE AND NORMALLY THAT HAPPENS AND YOU JUST PULL AWAY AND SAY, OH, EXCUSE ME, BUT I DIDN'T PULL AWAY AND THAT ONE THING OF ME SENDING HIM A SIGNAL THAT I'M UNGUARDED.

I'M OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES AND THEN THAT ONE THING LED TO SITTING TOGETHER MORE OFTEN AND THEN SITTING TOGETHER AT LUNCH AND THEN GOING TO LUNCH ALONE AND THEN GOING TO DINNER THE LONG AND THE PROGRESSION. WHY ARE SMALL STEPS, BUT THERE WAS A BIG CLIFF AT THE END OF THOSE STEPS ARRANGE TO HAVE ANY CLUE AT ALL THAT YOU ARE BECOMING VERY CLOSE FRIENDS WITH THIS MAN AT WORK, OR DO YOU THINK HE WAS A COWORKER. WHAT WAS HIS INTERPRETATION OF WHAT WAS GOING ON. WELL, I DIDN'T TELL THEM ANYTHING.

I LIED ABOUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS BECAUSE IF YOU'RE COMMITTING ADULTERY OR LYING TO YOURSELF TO GOD TO EVERYBODY RIGHT IT'S A TERRIBLE PLACE TO BE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHO YOU TOLD WHAT TO BUT I DIDN'T MENTION ANYONE AT WORK AND MY HUSBAND KNEW I WAS DRIFTING FROM HIM AND I WOULD TELL HIM THAT I SAY WE DON'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER.

WHY DID WE GET MARRIED THIS STEAK SO HE KNEW I WAS DISSATISFIED WITH THE MARRIAGE, BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT I'D GONE OVER THE FENCE. HOW FAR WERE YOU INTO THE MARRIAGE WHEN THIS ALL STARTED TO UNFOLD WHILE WE WERE STILL YOUNG.

I WAS ONE STEVE 422. WHEN WE GOT MARRIED IN 24 WHEN I HAD THE AFFAIR WITH A COWORKER SO LONG TIME AGO AND YET IT FEELS LIKE A DIFFERENT VERSION OF MYSELF AS I LOOK BACK AND YOU KNOW WHAT WAS I THINK YES YES WHAT WAS I THINKING, I DON'T KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE TEMPORARY. I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE QUICKFIX THINKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS BECAUSE MY FEELINGS THIS IS EXCITING STUFF. SIR DID YOU HAVE ANY GUILT AT ALL. DID YOU HAVE ANY POINT IN TIME WHEN YOU SAID THIS IS WRONG.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE. WHEN POP UP.

BUT THEN IT'S AMAZING BECAUSE I CAN WATCH THEM BACK DOWN AGAIN. BOB, I'M DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD AND J.

VERNON MCGEE COMES ON THE RADIO AND HE SAYS IF YOU STOP YOUR THINNING GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU AND I HIT THE RADIO OFF. I DID NOT WANT TO STOP MY SINNING. HE DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT SOON SO NOW THIS OTHER MAN THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH WAS HE MARRIED YES AND CHILDREN. CHILDREN AT THE TIME OKAY. DID HE RUSSELL WAS GUILT AT ALL THAT YOU KNOW IF I AM NOT SURE I WOULD ASSUME SO. HE DID STAY MARRIED AS FAR AS I KNOW, AND I THINK HIS WIFE TOOK THEM BACK AND THEY RECONCILED SO THERE MUST'VE BEEN SOMETHING IN HIM THAT YOU KNOW THAT STAYED AND WORKED ON IT RIGHT SO I HAVEN'T HAD CONTACT, BUT THROUGH WEIRD CIRCUMSTANCE.

SOMEONE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT. HE STILL MARRIED, SO THAT'S GOOD YES. NOW WHAT I FOUND INTERESTING IN YOUR BOOK AS SHE TALKED ABOUT AT ONE POINT WHEN YOU WERE READY TO LEAVE.

YOU ARE READY TO FILE FOR DIVORCE YOUR PARENTS WERE NOT IN FAVOR OF IT. HOW DID YOU GET FROM BEING IN AN AFFAIR TO GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO FILE A DIVORCE AND THEN YOUR DAD WAS SAYING THIS ISN'T RIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE BIBLICAL GROUNDS.

WHAT WENT ON BETWEEN THOSE TWO EVENTS OF THE BATTLE I'M TELLING YOU, BUT THE LORD TURNED AROUND REALLY IN 24 HOURS. IT WAS, I DON'T USE THE WORD LIGHTLY BUT IT WAS A MIRACLE BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED WAS A SERIES OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT HAD TO LINE UP EXACTLY AS THEY DID BRIEFLY. I HAD TO BE HOME AT OUR CONDO. NOW I HAD MOVED OUT. I WENT BACK TO GET A FEW THINGS MY MOM HAD TO CALL THIS WAS BEFORE CELL PHONE CHANDA CALL ME PHYSICAL HOME PHONE. I HAD TO PICK IT UP. MY MOTHER HAD NOT BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE SHE SAID SOMETHING'S WRONG. THE SPIRIT IN HER.

MY PARENTS ARE BOTH BELIEVERS KNEW THAT THERE WAS SOME TURMOIL WITH ME. I DENIED IT. I LIED.

I SAID I'M FINE SHE PUT MY DAD ON THE PHONE SHE KNOWS I CAN'T LIE TO HIM AND I COULDN'T SO I TOLD HIM PART OF THE TRUTH, BUT THEN HE PUSHED ME FURTHER AND I SAID YOU KNOW WHERE I'M JUST NOT HAPPY AND I TRIED TO PLAY THE SYMPATHY, BUT DANNY WANT ME TO BE HAPPY. I'M THE ONLY GIRL IN THE FAMILY SO I THOUGHT THAT HE WOULD BE ON MY SIDE AND HE SAID WILL WHAT IS DONE TO FIX IT. HAVE YOU GONE TO YOUR PASTOR. NOW I DIDN'T TELL HIM WE WERE GOING TO CHURCH. HAVE YOU GONE TO CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR NOW. HAVE YOU READ A BOOK TO BE GONE TO MARRIAGE SEMINAR. HAVE YOU TALKED TO A MARRIAGE MENTOR, A SUCCESSFUL COUPLE NO PEACEABLE MAN, I CAN'T SUPPORT YOU LEAVING HIM THAN ANYTHING TO FIX IT. MARRIAGES ARE NOT DISPOSABLE AND THEN SO THAT CHALLENGED ME AND THEN HE PRAYED WHEN THE FATHER PRAYS FOR A DAUGHTER, SOMETHING HAPPENS. IT'S A POWERFUL THING AND THAT BEGIN TO CRACK MY FAÇADE SINCE HE GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH ME AND THEN I SET MY OWN PRAYER AND IT WAS TWO WORDS SO I COULD MUSTER. I JUST SAID SHOW ME AND THAT'S WHEN GOD SHOWED ME THAT I WAS THE WOMAN IN JOHN EIGHT, WHO HAD BEEN CAUGHT RED-HANDED IN ADULTERY AND WAS UNDER THE DEATH PENALTY OF THE LAW OF THE DAY AND WAS READY TO BE ASTOUNDING AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN. AND YET CHRIST HAVE MERCY ON HER SO HOW LONG DID YOU STAY OR GO ON WAS THE LENGTH OF IT. YOU KNOW FROM THE LEG BUMP IF YOU COUNT THEM FROM. THEY ARE PROBABLY SIX MONTHS SO NOT SUPERLONG BUT LONG ENOUGH TO DO DAMAGE AND WHAT WAS YOUR HUSBAND'S REACTION WHEN HE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT WELL AND THAT'S THE OTHER PART OF THE STORY. AFTER I CONFESSED TO THE LORD AND HE SHOWED ME THAT WHAT I HAD DONE WAS HORRIBLE BUT NOT BEYOND REDEMPTION. RON CAME HOME AT NIGHT AND I CONFESSED EVERYTHING NOW. WE HAVE HAD VOLATILE FIGHTS, MOST OF OUR MARRIAGE, AND YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD BE THE TIME HE WOULD EXPLODE WHEN I CONFESSED EVERYTHING BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW, AND HE WAS RELIEVED BECAUSE HE SAID NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE MAN WANT TO HANG ON A MOMENT TO GO TO A VERY QUICK BREAK WILL BE BACK WITH NANCY ANDERSON. HER BOOK, AVOIDING THE GREENER GRASS SYNDROME HOW TO GROW AFFAIR PROOF HEDGES AROUND YOUR MARRIAGE WILL COME BACK RIGHT AFTER THIS MATTER TODAY. I DISSES JANET MEFFORD FOR PRE-BORN CANDACE TALKS ABOUT FINDING OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT. THANKFULLY, AND ULTRASOUND PROVIDED BY PRE-BORN ALLOWED HER TO HEAR HER BABY'S HEARTBEAT SONOGRAM SEALED THE DEAL FOR ME BABY WAS LIKE THIS TINY LITTLE SPECTRUM OF HOPE, SIZE, HEART BEATING ON THE SCREEN AND KNOWING THAT THERE'S LIFE GROWING INSIDE ME SONOGRAM CHANGED MY LIFE.

I WENT FROM JUST CANDACE TO MOM TO EVERYBODY THAT IS GIVEN THESE GIFTS, YOU GUYS ARE GIVING MORE THAN MONEY. YOU GUYS ARE GIVING LOTS. PRE-BORN HAS 10 CENTERS THAT DO NOT HAVE ULTRASOUND MACHINES WHICH YOU MAKE A LEADERSHIP GIFT AND SPONSOR A MACHINE TODAY. THESE LIFESAVING MACHINES COST MORE THAN MOST CENTERS CAN AFFORD YOUR TAX-DEDUCTIBLE GIFT OF 15000 Dollars Will Pl. a machine in a meeting women's center and save countless lives for years to come. To donate, call 855402 baby 855402 baby or there's a banner to click@janetmefford.com this is Janet Mefford were joining with Bible league international ministry founded in 1938 to send God's word to Bible less believers in Asia today. You can send a new Christian her very first Bible in her own language and at a level she can understand before. Last year Melia in Sri Lanka.

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Thank you for caring to say thank you for joining us here talking with Nancy Anderson about adultery and what it takes to recover and to find healing and forgiveness and even restoration in your marriage after you have an affair, and she's telling her story from her book, avoiding the greener grass syndrome how to grow affair proof hedges around your marriage to Nancy you were to the point in the story where you had told your husbands that you had been having an affair with a man at work. He didn't explode. So what happened from there you had the background then of your parents. Also saying we can't support you leaving your husband. If there are no biblical grounds for it. How did you begin the process of restoration with your husband.

From that point.

Well it was a slow process, but the first step was the next morning after I confessed everything I called and quit my job yes it with a coworker and I called this Jake that I was having the affair with with Ron on the phone and we both broke up with him. Husband and I how you how we came up with bad, but Ron said you know I'm in a column and I didn't want him to be angry, aggressive, flexible. Let's calm together so we get and he cried a course and I cried and my husband cried were all crying for three different reasons and we broke it off and I called the Boston said I'm not coming back now with the great job but no job was worth my marriage and I never went back to Jake or the job. So that was the first step and that's what we tell couples is zero contact clean break if you have to move move whatever you have to do, do it and is good. It's nice so when you're talking with people who have been in the situation that you've been in with your husband and you're talking about these hedges that you can put around your marriage to prevent affair.

Certainly you have a lot of experience in this area now or you can give people good advice. What would be the first thing that you would say to a couple where one of the spouses is had an affair and said I just don't think the Lord can bring us back to where we were working have to break.

He's gonna leave me.

Is there anything I can do and then you also have the couples who say I'm kind of tempted.

There's this cute girl at work and she pays more attention to me than my wife is tired at home with three kids. What you say to those people, not just to have affairs. But starting with people who say what if I'm tempted.

What I do to protect my marriage in advance. I think the first thing is to admit that the whole greener grass syndrome is all of us have it to some degree and that it's okay to admit it if you try to cover it up, bury it or lie about it. It will bubble up somewhere else so I think honest communication between spouse spouses is the first step by saying look were in trouble. This is not working. I'm feeling distant.

I'm feeling tempted I am in pain. I'm lonely, I'm sad.

I'm whatever to come out and say it and I know it's hard but I think that's the first step is to say, we need help. Whether the Christian counseling pastoral counseling, marriage seminar, something to get us back and reconnected because their low points in every marriage. Maybe there's a illness or money problems are something that drives a wedge and then the wedge gets bigger and bigger till you can't see each other anymore right to use signs that men will tend to have affairs for different reasons than women tend to generally speaking, yes women tend to have an emotional need.

That's not met by their husband.

I'm not saying that a reason to. But typically that's what happened is that women want the emotional connection that there lacking in men generally want the physical/sexual connection that there lacking.

That's not always the case, but in general that's what women and men are looking for that are different.

Right.

Well now when you talk about the H part of the word hedges you talk about the need to listen and speak with patience and understanding with your spouse. So going back to your young South when you were 2223 and you and your husband were having a rocky. How would you have done things differently than I would have done so much differently because I still struggle with this. I'm a right fighter. I don't like to be wrong, and so I would defend my position even want to live illogical or crazy to defend it and then that would get him so angry that he would use profanity and call me horrible names and so I would start it would finish it and then we get in the crazy cycle of were both defending our position even though, rationally, we know were both being ridiculous so that was our pattern. He grew up in a family where profanity and horrible names were normal. I grew up in a family where we never did that. In fact, we hardly even tease each other so I didn't know how to resolve conflict because I had I didn't see my parents fight. He grew up with nothing but conflict and never saw it resolved though families of origin do affect your marriage and so we had to learn the skills of how to fight fair and how to come to a resolution how to compromise how to work it through how to talk it through. We just blew up yet, which doesn't solve things yeah so so really your goal then is to say when there's a problem. Speak up and try to work through it rather than just going back to your corners and screaming and yelling and one another. You gotta talk it through right which is important for the relationship helping each other. You talk also about encouraging why that's important. Yes, and by helping I mean physical, mental, or virtual being each other's friend coming alongside saying you're doing a good job finding catching each other doing it right.

It's so easy to Someone doing it wrong, but noticing when the other person is making an attempt has been recently has started opening.

Car doors for me.

I know 40 years since all I had a Hertz but Sophie was started because I physically needed help and I said you know what this is really sweet.

I really like that so he is now attempting to help me physically but also to help it makes me feel what it's good so there's new things to learn about helping each other, especially as you age, our parents, we were caring for elderly parents.

He will go visit my dad. I would go visit his mom to me that love is serving each other.

What are the needs and how can I meet them.

Whatever they are right while skipping ahead to another one.

You talk about the need to agree on and to enforce your boundaries. This seems like a really important one. How do you go about doing that to sort of make sure you have boundaries that you need or if you cross that could lead to disaster. Yes, and that's the guardian had and we talk about boundaries at work, which I didn't have obviously but you set those up ahead of time.

Do I get in a car with coworkers. It's just the two of us do.

I go to lunch along with a coworker do I text a coworker about something not work-related.

These are all things.

What about business travel.

That's a big one you get on a plane and sometimes people leave their morals back at the airport so to talk about these things is is a big issue that a lot of couples don't do so if you preset them ahead of time sharing passwords with each other on your phone on your computer.

There's just so many things that couples need to talk about.

Specially the electronic age's right is now social media and all the likely answer to what you see. Nancy would be the most important are one of the most important boundaries to get in place. I think it all starts with the spiritual aspect of it because of were building a house. Our home, our marriage upon the Christian foundation that we have to be connected to that regular church attendance couple studies, Bible studies, you know man's women's whatever it is I think if you are serving Christ and then from there serving the marriage and serving your family. You have the strength that you don't have. I certainly didn't when I was doing it on my own because I'm not that strong. He is in its importance in keeping those that closeness with your spouse and having Christ as Lord of both of your lives that you have that unity. Yes, exactly. Because the three stranded cord is not easily broken. We know that from Scripture. So that's the look my husband myself in the Lord knit together. We were not doing early in our marriage and our marriage fell apart because the Lord would not knit into our relationship, and you know this is this is why people can take your experience in and glean wisdom from what you have experienced in the wisdom you've gained from going through this and being able to give advice to others who were in your position to not go through what you went through and what your husband went through and yeah and all these hedges we didn't have time to get every single one of them.

You can read in the book.

Again the name of the book is avoiding the greener grass syndrome how to grow a fair proof hedges around your marriage, which I think is really great advice from Nancy Anderson, Nancy. It was wonderful to have you here. I really appreciate your being with us. It was great to talk to you. Thank you Janet God bless you too. Thanks again for being with us. Thank you for joining us here in Janet Baffert today.

Always a pleasure to have you here. God bless you and will see next time this hour Janet Mefford today was brought to you by vitally international lesson 1200 Bibles to Christians in Asia. Five dollars and one Bible call now 800 yes 800 yes some

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