Lose your Home, Lose your Family, Lose your Mind

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When only the best is needed, see Dr. Johnny Gayton at eyesightassociates.com This is the Truth Network. One flaw. Introducing first, from Lithuania, he weighs 123 kilos, the Russian nightmare, Nikita Kolov. Now, The Devil's Nightmare. Welcome back to another episode of It's Time to Man Up. Shante, Parker, welcome to the Man Up show. Oh, thank you, Nikita. Always great to have. It's always fun to have women in the studio on the show.

For one thing, you know, they can give a little different perspective than a man can give. And with me as well, Bo Mcdonald. Bo, welcome to the show. Thank you, Nikita. Glad to be here.

Appreciate it. Great to have you guys here. And we're going to talk today. Our topic of discussion is the Bethesda Center for the Homeless and the important role that you guys play. And this is located right here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, correct?

Absolutely. 930 North Patterson. Okay.

930 North Patterson. And we're going to talk about that. But before we get there, I think we'll go, I'll go ladies first. I just want to honor the lady in our audience. Shante, tell us a little bit about who Shante is. Like, where are you from? Tell us a little bit about your family and just take a minute or two and share with our listeners.

Okay. I'm originally from Philadelphia, but I've been in Winston-Salem for quite some time. I'm a graduate of Winston-Salem State University.

S-U. And I'm a wife, a mother, a sister, friend. I'm someone in the community that enjoys her job. Okay.

Her profession, yes. So Shante, so how long have you been married? Six years. Okay.

And I've been working at Bethesda nine years. Okay. And what's your husband's name? Eric.

Eric. Okay. And you mentioned children. So how many children do you have? So I have one child that I birthed and then I have, we have a blended family. Okay.

So altogether five. Well, and that is, you know, of course, more and more common in today's world. I mean, there is, of course, the nuclear family. We talked about this recently at a men's conference we did, the nuclear family, the blended family, and then even a lot of single families now, right? Yes, sir.

Yeah. There's a lot out there. And so tell us your children's names. So I have a son named Kareem, a son named Eric and Erica, and then another Eric and then Josh. So my husband had a children mother all decided to name their kids Eric.

Okay. You know what? I've actually, hey Shante, you know what I've actually heard before?

Like all the same first name, but then they all had like different middle names. Yes, exactly. Which is, I was like, I just recently heard, I'm like, like for real? Like people do that? They're like, yeah. I'm like, okay, I know I put you out of the spot.

You're like, oh, let me get the Rolodex going here. What it told me about him was that he's a good man if the mothers all wanted their children name to be Eric. So I said, yeah, I got a good guy.

Well, Eric is a good guy. Yes. You know what?

If he's ever not, you let me know. I know. Cause I heard you used to be a wrestler.

I was. So I, you know, I can still body slam somebody. Okay.

My finishing move was called the Russian sickle. So, you know, I can still pull that out of the bag if I have to. Okay. That's good to know. Thank you. Yeah.

Cause our, our, our ladies are important. So, uh, all right. So, so Bo, so, so fill us in on, on, uh, who Bo McDonald is, like give us a little backstory. Well, thank you for that. I, uh, originally from Arkansas where I grew up on a farm and went to college at the university of Arkansas Monticello where the last two years there, I went to work for a nonprofit, uh, the YMCA, which led to a 20 year career with the YMCA. And then from there to other nonprofits. So my career, my calling has always been in the nonprofit world. And it's interesting Nikita that especially looking back over the years, I realized that every time I went to one location, not only was I called to work there, but that experience helped prepare me for the next step.

And then each door that was opened was a building upon the previous experiences. And so, um, I've had a long, successful career in the nonprofit world, and, uh, I've had a lot of, uh, opportunities to experience different organizations and different models. And those things have been very helpful as you come into a new situation and try to help that organization find a better path, then, uh, those experiences come in very helpful, helpful. And again, it's just been my calling to, to serve, and this is the way I do it. So how, so how young and, and of course, you know, you use the term calling and, you know, some, some listeners, uh, some people I have conversation are familiar with that term. Some are not right.

That, that term is more used in, in Christian circles, I think, you know, uh, but that said though. So how, how old we like when you, okay, when you knew this, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. You were, you were how old? Uh, well, uh, truthfully, I was probably in my mid thirties when I came to that realization, uh, graduating college in my early twenties and immediately going to work full time for nonprofits. I kept, because if you know, nonprofits at all, we work a lot of hours, but we don't get paid a lot of money. And so as a young ambitious, like my ministry, right. As a young, as a young man with a young family, I was always interested in trying to find something that paid more.

Right. And so I kept looking down different avenues, but those doors always kept closing. And it wasn't until I got into my mid thirties that I realized, wait a minute, this isn't about what I want to do. I need to listen to what God wants me to do.

And so I realized at that point that it was my calling to serve in the nonprofit community. Okay. And, and so once you embrace that, uh, amazing things really start to happen. Yeah. If you will, doors begin to open, right. Absolutely. Absolutely. Things seem to fall into place, right.

You might say so many times. Absolutely. Okay. So you mentioned family, so just tell us briefly about, about your family.

Okay. Well, I'm divorced, but I have two incredible daughters. Uh, both are married and each of those daughters has two children, so I have four amazing grandkids. One family is here in Winston Salem. Uh, so I'm glad to have moved up to this area to be closer to them as well as the work at Bethesda. And did you just recently move to this area?

I did. I started to work at Bethesda last September, so I'm coming up on my one year anniversary. Okay. And I physically moved to Winston Salem last month. Uh, for the last, uh, year, basically I've been driving back and forth from Concord. Concord, North Carolina. Yes.

You know, I'm familiar with Concord, North Carolina. Uh, just a little bit. I think, yes. I am. I, I, now did you, so I just out of here, a little side note here, side question. So were you with the YMCAs in Concord?

I was not. Uh, I haven't been with the YMCAs for a number of years. I was running an organization there called the originally called the Bethlehem center. Uh, we worked with headstart early headstart and afterschool programs for children in poverty.

We had 12 locations around Mecklenburg County. Uh, we had a staff of over 150 people. So it was a large operation and I was there for 15 years and, uh, helped that organization go through a lot of growth and changes. And as we were just, just speaking, things just falling into place, uh, occurred in an organization that needed a lot of help.

When we took the right approach and brought God into our mission, things really started falling into place for that organization. I think you just said a very key thing, you know, when you brought God into the equation, right? Right. Because there's so much we can do in our own strength, you might say, on our own and, and even have success with that, uh, to a certain degree or a certain level. Right. But man, the minute you bring God into it, things just seem to, it just seems to, if you will, accelerate. Uh, is that a good way maybe to say it? I think so.

And I would also use the word exponential, you know, it just, the blessings just magnify. Hmm. That's good. Very familiar with Concord, Kannapolis area because I've had a home there for many, many, many years. And, uh, in fact, I first came to Concord in 1988, it was my, my, the first home I bought in, in, in the Concord area.

And, uh, just really just kind of fell in love with the, the, the smaller communities, but yet close enough down to the big city, Charlotte. Right. You know, to still be able to do some things. So, so Chante, let me come back to you. Let me bounce back to you here. And, and so your role with Bethesda. So, so what's your official title with Bethesda? Case manager. Case manager. Case manager slash whatever else, as you know, a nonprofit.

Whatever else needs to be done. Yes. Yeah. Oh no, I'm, I'm totally familiar with nonprofits, right? Yes. Yeah.

Totally, totally familiar. Coal Offered Christ Ministries is a nonprofit. That's why I'm joking about, totally, uh, understand lots of hours and, and sometimes it doesn't add up to, to the compensation, but that's okay. The Lord makes up the difference, right?

That's right. So what, so how long have you been with Bethesda then? Nine years.

Nine years. And what prompted you or, or, or how'd you make that decision to be a part of, uh, of the, the homeless, uh, center? What led you to that decision?

I would say the Lord. Okay. Before I was working at, um, the YWCA. Okay. Yes. YMCA. All right. There's some relatability there.

Yes. I was on Main Street and I worked at, the position was Silver Sneakers and then Preventive Health. And one day I just said, Lord, we're, I want to help the community, but not in this capacity. You know, what else can I do?

So I saw that there was a position for a monitor, but the hours didn't quite fit my schedule. And then a position came up for case management and I said, wow, it seems like I can do this job. And the Lord has just been with me the whole time. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've learned a lot.

And a lot of success has been through grace and mercy. What would a typical day for you look like? Just give us an example. Well, um, anywhere from first looking at the roster to see if it's any body I need to speak with right away. And then engaging with, we call the residents at Bethesda Center guests. And the reason why that was chose, because, you know, when you have a guest, you treat them with respect and you try to give them all the tools that they need, but you know they can't stay. So that's how we say guests.

So you would engage with a guest, I would complete an assessment just to see what their needs are and then provide them with those needs as well as work different housing programs, such as rapid rehousing, permanent supportive housing. So you have a lot of relationships with other agencies when it comes to trying to help someone out with their goals. So case management is not a cookie cut program.

Every situation is handled differently because every individual is different. Right. Different needs. Right. I was gonna say it's got to be, I mean, a million different needs, right? Yes. Depends on whoever's coming in and depending on what their need might be, right? Yes.

So that makes perfect sense. So Bo, let me come back to you for just a moment here then. So your role, your title is at Bethesda? Executive director.

Okay. Executive director. And so your responsibilities would be what as executive director? As executive director, you're basically responsible for everything.

You know, you get to supervise and work with great staff like Shante. You're doing budgeting, marketing, facilities, repair and upkeep. You're doing long range planning. You're working with the board of directors. You're out in the community public speaking.

You're visiting radio stations. You know, you're doing whatever the job calls for. Okay. And your decision to leave Concord and come to Winston, did you see it? I know you said nonprofit is a calling for you. Did you see Bethesda as maybe perhaps a new challenge for you or just a new opportunity? Like what prompted you to make that move?

That's a great question. And I did see it as a new challenge. And again, not to be too redundant, but I do feel led to this challenge in particular.

But I had a desire for a couple of years to get closer to family that's living here in Winston-Salem. But this opportunity presented itself and the needs of the organization aligned with the skills and experience that I've been blessed with. And so I think it was a good partnership, if you will, between the organization and my desires and my skill sets to work together to help move this organization forward.

You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com. Nikita Koloff here, and I am excited. Did you hear the huge announcement, the big announcement?

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You can give monthly, annually, or one time. God bless you for making a difference around the world. You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com. Okay. And Shante, you want to just add on to that? Yes. So I was on the hiring committee when Bo did his interview, and Bo was very knowledgeable about Bethesda Center. And I was one of the staff members that said we need to bring him on because he had the skills and he took the time to know the organization.

So I was really impressed with that. So Bo, you did your homework. He did his homework. Is that what I'm hearing prior to the interview?

You did your homework? Right, right. Very smart, very smart. Probably nothing worse than somebody coming in for an interview and they have no clue about what they're even wanting to get hired for, right? So Shante, I like the word guest because what it immediately reminds me of is, you know, when I check into a hotel, I'm a hotel guest, right?

And if I've stayed in one hotel, I don't know, I think I've stayed in a million at this, but I don't even know how many. But that said, you know, the staff greeting you when you're checking in is very, you know, very friendly, typically, hopefully, right? So give us an idea of some, you mentioned needs. So what are some of the needs out there? And I know homelessness, in fact, even on my way to the radio station here today, you know, there was actually, you know, a lot of times you see a homeless person. Typically, I'm guessing they're homeless, but, you know, there's sign and standing on the street corner, you know, petitioning for funds or money, walking up and down.

And on this particular day, there's one on the left and one on the right at the stoplight, right? And it seems like homelessness, for whatever reason, is just escalating. I don't know. But have you, in your nine years, have you seen homelessness accelerate or the numbers grow? Yes, sir.

I have seen the numbers grow. And so we are a housing first agency. That means no matter what your circumstance may be, we're going to try to house you first. We believe that housing is not a privilege, but it's a necessity. Everyone deserves a home. So many people who are experiencing homelessness experience homelessness because of a mental health breakdown, a death in a family. For instance, I had a guest who became homeless because all of his life he lived with his mom. So when she passed away, he was left homeless. So not only was he challenged mentally trying to process with grief, but then he had nowhere to go. So the first thing when you come into Bethesda, we want to make sure you get a chance to just breathe and get your mind together. You know, just catch your breath, catch your breath, catch your breath and maybe regroup, if you will.

Yes, sir. And OK. And then there's other times where affordable housing, you know, rent has went up. And with the income that some folks are getting, it's just not enough to make ends meet. So I really believe, like in today's time, we need family and friends. If you have an extra bedroom, it's nothing wrong with opening up your house to a cousin or, you know, because it's hard out there.

I think it's expensive to live out on your own. It is. And, you know, and again, it's a it's a I mean, currently, right. It's tough economy. And you're saying and let me ask you, do you find or before I go there, let me ask you, is there is there maybe like one dramatic story that kind of like pops in your mind or one success story that you could share with not necessarily all the details, but just, hey, here's how this person came in and here's what how we were able to help.

Yes, I actually have several. But well, one particular was a young lady who was HIV positive and she did have an addiction and she came to Bethesda and she started going to some groups for in a in a. And then she connected with Baptists for some treatment. So she got back on her medication. And before long, she started taking classes and saving her money. She was receiving SSI once she got her body together in her mind, she was able to focus on housing in her future.

And today she is still housed. So she just needed time to regroup or pay attention to herself. Sometimes we do not do enough self-care.

And before long, we find ourselves lost because of that. Yeah. And I imagine you say you have a number, but you have tons of stories. Yes.

That you could potentially share. And so, so, so Bo is is the center considered? I know Chante mentioned temporary housing or how long can someone come and stay at Bethesda, Bo? Well, typically we ask people to stay 90 days.

But there's some flexibility and fluidity to that. Depends on how they're doing in their progression along the various services that they're attending and and reaching out to. When you were talking to Chante earlier about the case manager's role, it occurred to me that case managers are more are more almost like the conduit between the guest and all of the community resources that are out there.

Winston-Salem has an amazing plethora of resources that our guests need. But for them to navigate that by themselves is very challenging, especially if they're dealing with mental issues. When you have a case manager that can be that conduit that helps them connect with all those resources, then that helps them to put it all together and they can progress along. So typically they stay with us for about 90 days and then we'll transition them into rapid rehousing, which is really short term housing, if you will. And then as they continue to progress along, then we'll move them into permanent subsidized housing. Even when they're in, let's just say they're placed in an apartment and they're able to stay there, our case managers will stay in touch with them for up to another two years. Just to help them make sure, you know, we'll touch base once a week, once a month, whatever's needed to help our guests stay on track.

Stay on the right path, stay on the right track. Chante, we're almost out of time here, but do you find that the majority of people who come and as you mentioned, they've fallen on hard times, right? Because I think sometimes there's the perception that some are out there just, I'll use the term panhandling and not willing to work. Like one of the guys actually, the sign said, we'll work for food.

That's what his sign said today, right? Do you find the majority of people that come in are, yeah, they've fallen on hard times, but they want to get back on their feet. As Bo was just saying, they're willing to work, they're willing to go back into the job force and the majority of people, you would say? Yes, I would say that. Well, if I may add, some of our people do have jobs. They just can't, they're not making enough to afford a place to stay.

Too much month at the end of the money. Yeah. Would that be a fair way to summarize it?

Hey, let me ask you this. You got a young man, well bearded young man sitting back there behind you. What's his role and what does he do? Bruce is a new addition to our team.

He's been with us, I think all of three months, but he is our new development director. And so he will be helping with our special events. We have a breakfast fundraiser coming up November the 14th that Bruce is working on, as well as foundation relationships, corporate giving and individual donors.

Okay. And so if somebody did want to give, maybe they hear this show and they're like, hey, I really want to support that financially or in other ways. Are you always looking for volunteers as well, Bo? We're not an organization that has a lot of volunteer opportunities, except if people want to bring food in the evenings and serve to our guests.

Okay. So they could still volunteer that way or support that way as well, which food is important as well. So it's not always about money, right? Although money is important. Or household goods as well, like toilet tissue, paper towels, anything you would need to run your house. Okay.

And if you move into a new place, you need to get set up. So people could donate and contribute to that. So Bo, what's the website? Where can people go to find out more about Bethesda?

Just www.BethesdaCenter.org and a lot of information there. And there's also a place there where they can donate if they so choose. Okay. And well, we appreciate you guys coming in today and sharing.

We want to get the message out and get the word out about what you guys do. You got one last really quick story. You said you had a ton of them. Can you give me another 60 seconds, another success story, Shontay? Well, we've had a young man that went from part-time to full-time employment, saved his money, and he was also able...oh, he also bought himself a car as well. That was one of his goals.

Come on. He's housed now and he's happy and engaged. So Bethesda Center is doing great things for a wonderful community. And I just want people to know that people who are experiencing homelessness is a part of our community. And the doors are open and if they have a need, the doors are open. The doors are open, yes.

And I always try to remember if it had not been for the grace of God, there go I. That's good. Last word, Bo?

We are a low-barrier center, which means even if someone is under the influence, they are still welcome to come in. And my last question is where can Bruce and I get a Man Camp t-shirt? Oh, yeah. At Man Camp. They are not for sale, are they, Robbie?

They are not for sale. But Robbie has been to Man Camp. I'll tell you more about that off air. Is there a women's camp too? I get that from women all the time. God has led me to minister to men at this point. Okay, okay.

But there are women events out there that we can direct women towards. So anyway. Thank you. All right, so one more time, the website, one more time. www.

BethesdaCenter.org Right here in Winston-Salem, Bo McDonald, Shante Parker. Thank you guys, seriously, thank you guys for coming in. I can just hear in your voices and just what you're sharing that you have a real passion for what you're doing. And I sense you guys are making an incredible difference. Thank you. God bless you.

I know homelessness is much needed to address that. Thank you for the opportunity to be here. Thank you guys.

Go to the Bethesda Center for the Homeless. Check it out and thank you for tuning in again to another show. The Man Up show, Nikita Golov. Go out today and have a God filled, God blessed day. This podcast is made possible by the grace of God and your faithful prayers, support and generous gifts. May God bless you for your continual contributions. Go to www.kolov.net and donate today.

Hi, Nikita Golov. Be sure to check out The Man Up Show, now available on television, broadcast and podcast. Go to MorningStarTV.com or the Truth Radio Network. Check out your local listings or better yet, download the Truth Network app today. If you are enjoying The Man Up Show, would you help us spread the word? Tell your family, tell your friends, tell your neighbors to download, subscribe and leave a comment. Nikita Golov here.

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