Hope Beyond Immaturity: Maturity Checkpoints, Part 2

Sometimes growing up is a painful process, and it doesn't necessarily follow that age and maturity go hand in hand. In fact, occasionally we find ourselves stuck in adolescent behavior, even well into our adult years. Do you ever find yourself frustrated with your reactions thinking, when am I going to grow up? Well, today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll continues a message introduced last time, in which he cites the importance of maturity checkpoints. Chuck is teaching from 1 Peter chapter 3.

He titled his message, Hope Beyond Immaturity. How do I know I'm growing up? I need some checkpoints along the way. And it occurred to me when I looked into this grand, small section in 1 Peter 3, that what we have here is a series of checkpoints to help me know I'm growing up. As I read over verses 8 through 12, I see 8 steps in the list of things that are here.

So let's sum up a checkpoint or series of checkpoints for maturity. First of all, let's put down the word unity. That is what I see in this word, let all be harmonious. This word has in mind being like-minded, not allowing petty things to cause division. Second, mutual interest. Mutual interest. This word really means to feel with. It is the absence, get this now, of competition, envy, jealousy, and comparison.

It's stated no better than in Romans 12-15, where we read, rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16, be of the same mind toward one another. Share in mutual feelings.

Now back to 1 Peter. Third, let's put friendship and affection. 1 Peter 3 verse 8 to sum up. Let there be unity, mutual interest, and here it is simply rendered brotherly. The word is Philadelphia, and it means human affection, brotherly love. It has in mind being an affectionate friend. Coleridge, the poet, I think it was, said friendship is a sheltering tree.

Such a wonderful word picture. Friends are people whose lives are like branches, and they provide shade, they provide refuge from the demanding and irritating and searing rays of the hot sun. You can find comfort by them. You can find strength near them. They are tree-like in that they reach out.

They bear fruit that provides nourishment and encouragement. Isn't it interesting that when something occurs in your life, and you're alone, and you feel the need for shelter or for encouragement or help with it, you pick up a phone and call a friend. You want to connect with somebody else. Few things are more lonely than going through a sudden test and having no friend to call.

Are you cultivating friends? Are there a few folks that will stand near you? I love Jay Kessler's line regarding one of his great goals in life is to wind up with at least 8 people who will attend his funeral without checking their watches.

I think that's a great line. They're willing to carry his casket and go through the funeral without once checking their watches. You have 8 people that will do that? 10 or 12? 1 or 2?

6 or 8? To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, a friendship and an affection. There's a fourth, compassion.

It says it right here, kind-hearted. The term is most interesting. It has to do with the deep-seated organs of the body.

Are you ready for this? The intestines. Those organs that are deep within the abdomen of the body. It was believed by the Greeks that these organs were the seat of emotions. And he uses a term, Peter does, for deep-seated feelings within the body. It's used in Hebrews 4.15 for Jesus who is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. It's used in Matthew 9.36 where he's seeing the multitude is full of tenderness for them because they're like sheep without a shepherd. He had compassion for them.

He was touched deeply. In our high-tech era, it is very easy to become untouched, untouchable. The freeway requires that you keep moving no matter what you see occurring. The pace we live requires that you not take time.

You go right on. After all, you read the stories in the morning newspaper of people who stopped to help and they were mugged. And you learn not to do that. Of course, there has to be discernment, but where is the tenderness? I think of Ephesians 4.32. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted. It's the tender mercies that are still needed.

Well, these are checkpoints. How are you doing? Unity, mutual interest, friendship, compassion. Number five, humility and humble in spirit. It means lowly and bowed down in mind. It is an internal thing.

Internal. It isn't public appearance of humility. It isn't a show of humility. It isn't looking humble. It is being humble in mind.

That again is tough to find in our day of self-help and promoting people to celebrity status. It is very difficult for an individual to maintain humility. If you are blessed and you are gifted, you are used by God, it is easy to start believing your own stuff. And he says in this eighth verse that one of the marks of a mature life is humility of spirit. I like this, one man says, maturity is the ability to do a job whether you're supervised or not, to finish a job once it's started, to carry money without spending it, and last but not least, the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. Those are marks of humility.

You don't have to be supervised to get a job done. What you start, you finish. You're able to handle the money without spending everything you've got and you don't have to always get even or fight back. So far, Peter has written about how we think being like-minded and humble-minded. He's written about how we feel, sympathetic, affectionate, and compassionate. In the last three verses nine and ten, he writes first about what we do and then finally about what we say. Look at verse nine, not returning evil for evil. So this number six would be forgiveness. Following humility is a willingness to forgive and I don't know of a verse that says it better when forgiveness is carried out than verse nine. Not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead. For you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

Isn't that a great verse? Look at the steps in it. Look at the process. First of all, when there is true forgiveness in the heart, there is a refusal to get back or to get even. You put it to bed. You give it to God.

You come to terms with it with the Lord. You do your best to make amends with an individual, but you refuse to get even or to get back. Second is the restraining of saying something as ugly as was said to you or about you. Notice how he puts it, not returning insult for insult. Third is clearly returning good for evil, where he says giving a blessing instead.

Doing something nice in return to someone who has done something ugly to you. And fourth, you were called for that very purpose, keeping in mind that you were called to receive such treatment. That's easy to miss that, isn't it? I thought at first I was misreading it and then I went back to chapter 2 verse 20 and found that's what he says over there.

So he must mean it. Look at 1 Peter 2 20. What credit is there if when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it, you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. Next verse.

Here's the verse. You've been called for this purpose. You've been put on earth for the purpose of taking the brunt without retaliating.

You've been called for this purpose. Look at Christ, who suffered for you, leaving an example for you to follow his steps. How do I know I'm growing up when I stop fighting back? When I take the chip off my shoulder, when I stop working on my quick sarcastic answer to give back to someone who jabs me with a sarcastic punch. I know I'm growing up when I can control my tongue.

And that's number 7. Back to 1 Peter 3 verse 10. Let him who means to love life and see good days, refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile.

How do I know when I'm growing up? I know it when I've been able to control my tongue. You knew I'd get around to this one, didn't you? It seems to be threaded throughout the New Testament. This verse and the one that follows, these verses are taken from the 34th Psalm. Here Peter says, refrain your tongue from evil. In fact, the word refrain could literally be rendered stop. Stop your tongue. Show me a person who has learned to refrain from gossip, who can refrain from telling confidential information, who can refrain from passing judgment without knowing the facts, and I'll show you somebody on the grow.

Let me say it again, refrain from gossip, refrain from telling confidential information, and refrain from passing judgment without knowing all the facts. And I'll show you somebody who's maturing. Don't miss the beginning of verse 10. Let him who means to love life.

Isn't that great? And see good days. You want to really love life? You want to see good days? Get control of your tongue. Life will be happier for you. It'll even be easier for you.

You'll see better days. I remember, was it from jolly old England where that grave marker is? Beneath this clay, beneath this sod a lump of clay lies Arabella Young, who on the 21st of May began to hold her tongue.

It takes a while for you to get that, but it'll come about 1030 tonight. Finally, she learned to control her tongue when she passed on. Will it take that?

No, it need not take that. Pray about the use of your tongue. Pray that God will put a muzzle on your mouth when someone says, I'd like you not to share this with anyone. That includes your children. When they share something in confidence, it's in confidence. Turn to Psalm 141.

You'll like this. Psalm 141 puts it so clearly. It's from the ancient writings of David.

It's a prayer and a great prayer to begin the day with. Psalm 141 3. Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips.

I love that. Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips. A mark of maturity is a controlled tongue.

Well, how are you doing? Unity, mutual interest, friendship and affection, compassion, humility, true forgiveness, a controlled tongue, and one more. Purity and peace, verses 11 and 12. Let him turn away from evil and do good. That's purity. Let him seek peace and pursue it.

That's peace. For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous. You think he doesn't watch?

You think he doesn't care? Listen, his ears attend to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Take a look at the list. Okay, that's quite a list. We're told to grow up. We're told to press on to maturity. How can you know if you're on the right road?

Go back over that list. Do a checkpoint on your life at the end of a week or the end of a month. And by the way, areas of trouble and we all have them, we have weak points along the way. In fact, I don't know of a one that isn't a struggle for me at times in my own life. Then that's what you pray about. See, he says, the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous. His ears attend to their prayers.

Ask God for strength in these areas. Let me show you a grand verse. 2 Chronicles 16, 9. 2 Chronicles 16, 9. For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth, that he may strongly support those whose heart is completely his. Tucked away in the midst of the chronicles of the Hebrews is this wonderful statement of promise. It's a picture of the roving eyes and ears of our God, to use terms that all of us can understand, though he is without eyes and without ears. Being spirit, he is omnipresent everywhere at the same time and he is roving this earth, moving to and fro throughout it, that he may support those, not simply find us serving him, but he may support those whose heart is completely his. That's our ultimate goal, to have a heart that is completely his. That'd be wonderful. Back to 1 Peter.

Here's a good series of checkpoints. To sum up, as a child of God, let all of us be committed to harmony, that is a spirit of unity. Let all of us be engaged in a mutual interest in one another's lives. Third, let all of us be engaged in a development of friendship that is marked by earthly affection. This isn't agape love, this is human love, phyllos, affection. This is what my kids call hugs and kisses love. This is touchable love. This is love that is exhibited, it is demonstrative. I've heard people say, well, I love, but I love in my heart.

Wouldn't you love to be married to somebody like that? I'm just going to love you in my heart. We're not going to touch, just going to love you in my heart. This is touching love.

This is affectionate love. Compassion is fourth. To sum up, let us all be kind-hearted. Fifth, let us be marked by humility in spirit, a mind that is set on the other individual.

I had one more great statement on this. It can be said without qualification that no human being can consider himself mature if he narrows the use of his efforts, talents, or means to his own personal advantage. The very concept of maturity rests on the degree of inner growth that is characterized by a yearning within the individual to transcend his self-concentration by extending himself into the lives of others. In other words, maturity is a stage in his development when to live with himself in a satisfying manner, it becomes imperative for him to give as well as to receive. The truly humble person looks for opportunities to give himself or herself, to release.

Forgiveness, controlled tongue, purity, and peace. Wow. That's quite a list, isn't it? But I am so glad that that pilot, before we took off, took the time to check off the list. I'm glad he didn't shrug his shoulders when he saw a bulge on one of the tires and say, well, we'll just kind of hope for the best.

We hope we make it. I'm glad he didn't ignore inside that cockpit some very important things which he must have checked a thousand times in his career. None of these is new. All of them need to be returned to again and again and again. Father, thank you for the reminder this very day of things that are so much a part of our lives, it seems as though we've come back to familiar territory again. We have.

How often we have come asking for help in one or more of these areas. I've heard my pleas on many occasions. In this very moment, we thank you for the Lord Jesus Christ, our model and friend, our master, who fulfilled each of these and a thousand others to perfection, though fully man. Thank you for the hope there is that there is a life to be lived like he lived and the power in which he lived it. Use these closing moments of worship in our lives to soften our spirits, to bring back to our attention things that need to be addressed. May we come again to the cross and find their complete, encouraging satisfaction.

For Jesus' sake. Amen. Well, Chuck Swindoll has identified five maturity checkpoints in his message. You're listening to Insight for Living and a study in 1 Peter 3 that Chuck titled Hope Beyond Immaturity.

We'll hear a closing comment from Chuck in just a moment, so please stay with us. If you'd like to learn more about this ministry, visit us online at insightworld.org. Well, perhaps today's study has ignited a new desire to grow deeper in your walk with God. Maybe you're ready to examine all five maturity checkpoints against your own experience to gauge your progress. And Chuck has written a book that parallels our current study. It's called Hope Again When Life Hurts and Dreams Fade. In his book, Chuck will help you push beyond your personal insecurities to grow into your full potential.

His teaching is squarely founded on the principles of 1 Peter. And you can purchase a copy of Hope Again right now by going to insight.org slash store. Or call us. If you're listening in the United States, call 800-772-8888. If it's a new Bible you're looking for, remember that Insight for Living offers the Swindoll Study Bible in a variety of sizes and formats.

Select the one that suits your preference. Woven into the pages of this Bible, you'll find a wealth of information from Chuck, including practical application, historical background on every book, and even geographical maps and other reference tools. To purchase the Swindoll Study Bible, go to insight.org slash store. Here's Chuck. Thanks, Bill. When Jesus warned us that life would bring trials and tribulations, He wasn't kidding, was He? Most of us have endured tough seasons that prove His assertion. When we ignore their gravity, tribulations can take us to desperate places. For instance, our doubts seem to escalate when our suffering is prolonged. Furthermore, an extended season of pain and suffering creates a pathway that leads to hopelessness. And nothing is more devastating than losing hope. You see, the human heart craves hope. In fact, frankly, we die without it. For these reasons and many more, we take great pleasure in sharing the life-giving hope of Jesus Christ. And friends like you proclaim that hope with us. Well, right now, we're coming near the conclusion of another ministry year.

We will close our financial books on June 30th. And so today, it's imperative that I communicate the critical importance of your role. Insightful Living would not be heard beyond our own studios without friends like you. I'm the Bible teacher, but you're the one who gives flight to our daily program.

Financially speaking, Insightful Living Ministries has endured a rough year. So today, I'm asking all who rely on this ministry to go above and beyond so that we can keep sharing the hope of Jesus Christ to a world that's desperately in need of it. Your gift today will lead suffering people to realize that God has not abandoned them. In fact, your partnership may cause them to realize that truth, then look up and smile for the first time in a very long time.

Please join me in telling the world those who trusted the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint. Thanks so much for responding soon. Well, this season marks a major deadline here at Insightful Living. And we're asking God to help us close the books on solid ground so we can step forward into the next fiscal year with boldness. Your support today will make all the difference in reaching this goal. To give a donation today, call us. If you're listening in the United States, you can reach us at 800-772-8888. That's 800-772-8888. Or you can give a donation online at Insight.org. I'm Bill Meyer. Chuck Swindoll talks about how to respond when life isn't fair.

Next time on Insight for Living. The preceding message, Hope Beyond Immaturity, Maturity Checkpoints, was copyrighted in 1988, 1990, 1996, 2006, and 2010. And the sound recording was copyrighted in 2011 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.