Resolving Those Parent-Child Conflicts, Part 1

As a mom or dad. How do you handle those unanticipated encounters with your son when he openly defies your authority with caustic and angry responses and what you do when your daughter announces she's in love with someone you know threatens a healthy future today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll introduces a message for mom's dad's aunts, uncles and grandparents, and anyone who longs for peace and tranquility in the whole what you're about to hear is part of his classic series on biblical parenting and will begin reading God's word together to sections of Matthew's gospel. One is a couple of verses in Matthew five that if you will hold your finger there returned to Matthew 18 beginning in verse 21 will be at the right place for both of these reading Matthew five beginning at verse 23 and then Matthew 18 beginning at verse 21 Matthew 523 therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and their remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering their before the altar, and go first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Matthew 18 beginning in verse 21 then Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him up to seven times. Jesus said to him I do not say to you, up to seven times but up to 70×7. For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slave when he had begun to settle them one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made so the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, have patience with me and I will repay you everything. The Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.

But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 in the area he seized him and began to choke him, saying, pay back what you owe. So his fellow slave fell to the ground began to plead with him, saying, have patience with me and I will repay you, but he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.

So when his fellow slaves saw what happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their Lord all that it happened then summoning him, his Lord said to him, you wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me should you not also have had Mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that I had mercy on you as Lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed.

My heavenly father will also do the same to you. Each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart. Listening to to search the Scriptures with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures. Studies by going to Insight world.org/studies and other message called resolving those parent-child con Louis live for the day. He could murder him. He long for the time when with his own hands he could reach around the neck of the monster and strangle him to death.

That was his longing and have been his for long long time. The year was the early 1940s was bad enough that Louie and his buddy Phil wound up in a rubber life raft in the implacable Pacific Ocean enduring that he and the storms and the sharks the death of fellow crewmen as they perished at sea, but Louie and Phil lived to tell the story and what you know it happened after 47 days at sea 47, the spotted land. But, to their great disappointment. It was an island occupied by the enemy of our nation at that time the Japanese who immediately took him under arrest, drag them to a prisoner of war camp and began the torturing.

It was merciless, especially that soldier. They came to call the bird who took special sadistic delight in beating if he could the life out of Louise and Perini for some reason that was his special project every day he would wind up taking his belt with its buccal on the other end and striking Louie again and again and again across his face and neck was horrible, horrible, but as we all know the day came when they were liberated. Unfortunately, the bird escaped. He flew to another island and yet another, and finally found his way into his homeland of Japan where he hid out the war officially ended but not in Louise life the war raged, he came home to the United States became a hopeless, pathetic, alcoholic drink hard turn brutal was a negligent and ugly husband eaten with bitterness until God intervened as only he could plan it toward the end of that 1940 era, he led a young evangelist to set up a tent in the very city where Louis live Los Angeles and Billy Graham preached his heart out night after night after night, Louie went the timer to to placate his wife, who thought maybe this will be the solution to our miserable marriage, but Louie walked out could care less what that fool said down there as he was holding his Bible hi, talking about what God said. Finally, toward the end of the series. She said to Louie you know Graham said he's going to preach tomorrow night on the Bible and science and she knew that Louie was triggered by science and so she encouraged him to come again, and he did. It wasn't long before he was disgusted all over again. And just as soon as Mr. Grand Master never had been about every eye closed.

He decide to stand up and just as he was about to exit something happened. A large choir was singing just as I am, without one plea, but that the blood was shed for me and that others may come to the old man of God, I come like he was riveted on this young evangelist and something changed Laura Hillenbrand in the book unbroken which you must read writes this. That night the sense of shame and powerlessness that had driven his need to hate the bird that the bird was no longer his monster. He was only a man without something that he had never felt for his Door before with a shiver of amazement he realized it was compassion at that moment.

Something shifted sweetly inside it was forgiveness, beautiful, effortless, complete for Louise and Perini at long last, the war was over in this great big world there are thousands of stories like Louise and Perini's not in the details, but in general it is doubtful that one person listening to me right now has spent these years on earth without hurting someone else or being hurt by someone else sporting life as we taught our children and as you are teaching yours.

Life isn't fair. We are not all created equal holding theory. Of course, but not in reality, no, no, certainly not in families. No two are the same. Your lack of forgiveness may be traced back to some sibling rivalry that was allowed to go on and on until that led to bullying and finally, who knows what other abuses became yours to endure. Or perhaps it is between a parent and one of the children or maybe more than one not only between brother and sister but between mom and dad in son and daughter may be the abuse came from your father or stepfather or coach like Sandusky it could be that you have been offended by an ex wife or former husband and in the night when you can't sleep you awaken, you can see that face and you hate him you resent her, I will tell you before I go one step further, regardless of the details regardless of what may be your lot. The key is forgiveness how you work it through and when how God opens doors and closes others to bring you to that point I if I could get on my knees to convince you even more.

I would lead with you to forgive or to seek the forgiveness of one you have injured. I realized as I read that book.

Some sections of it is much as three times I was reading a remarkable story of how God's grace can enter into a life and change a man from murder to compassion because it is such an important word woven through the fabric of this entire message we need to define forgiveness.

If you want to pull your Webster's dictionary off the shelf and look up the word, forgive, you would read it means to cease to feel resentment against someone to excuse another for a fault or an offense to renounce anger to part. I would add to release all feelings of bitterness to give up any and all desire to seek revenge would also include refusing to hold anything against anyone, regardless of how wrong it was the results of that would be pardon for others and relief for ourselves. True forgiveness resists any idea of getting back are getting even some of you. Unfortunately, because you have become so bitter have to hold onto your seat to keep from walking out right now. That tells us immediately.

The trap you are in and you will not win you will lose this one. I've never known anyone who became better for holding onto bitterness or refusing to forgive not mine for the balance of this message.

I'm going to ask you to think about those in your family, especially again one of your children son or a daughter, one of your parents, mom or dad maybe a grandparent your brother or your sister a relative of former mate who has made life hell on earth for you. I'm going to ask you to visit those mental scenes to forget for a few moments that you're surrounded by others who were doing the same. This is your journey. This is you will see is your move. There are two major issues, we must address if were going to deal correctly with the subject of forgiveness is the first when we have cause feelings of resentment in the life of another. When we are in the wrong when we have offended them or him or her because we have wrong them.

We know they hold this against us, but you never made it right. It lingers so much so that there may be a distance between you and that person because you have never gone and sought forgiveness.

The second is another issue, and that's the one we will take up following this first when when we feel resentment toward another who is hurt us because of some wrongdoing.

They've offended us were now left with the consequences of an unforgiving spirit. The deep hurt even a glance at a photograph of that individual turns you away. You would not speak to the person if he or she walked into your presence.

You go to the other side of the street. You saw him coming or worse you get even less take them in that order, right. The first is addressed in Matthew five the second in Matthew 18. So turn if you have not already to Matthew 523 and understand the custom of that era. In the first century, when you went to God in prayer.

He would often bring an animal. The animal was there for you to slit its throat, and to bring the blood before the altar, so that that animal sacrifice would represent your sincerity and would be the scapegoat to take the place of your sinfulness and you would clean your calls before the one call your God. That's what it means when you are presenting your offering at the altar today. We would simply say when you come for worship. When you bow in prayer when you are at home in your own time with the Lord whatever time that would be when you come to present your clause.

Your words even your praise to the Lord your God. Please note what it says and there remember that your brother, your sister, your former mate. Your mother, your relative your father and you remember that that person has something against you see where the blame is your fault.

Whatever it was you did it.

You said it could've been proven could have been an appropriate it could've been repeated.

It could've been. Once you deeply wounded that person and in your time before the Lord, you are told not to continue in prayer. The only time I know in all the Bible where prayer was to be interrupted by action taken. Look at what it says.

Look at the verbs. Verse 24 leave go be reconciled and then come present your offering study. Those words they provide you with an order of events there you are.

Before the Lord and somehow the Lord brings to your mind this individual how he does it, why wait until this moment, but he does.

That's his business. We take care of hours in this time before him.

You are seized with the realization that you are really a fault. When you do look you leave your offering their so don't even continue any further soon as you can as soon as is practically possible, leave the offering there and you you leave and go notice the order first be reconciled. Then, present your offering.

The keyword is reconciled, we rarely use it, but on occasion we hear it. The Greek word is Delos so my two words compounded put together the DIA meaning through and a lost soul meaning to altar to change to make something different stay with me the suggestion and the word Delos semi is that we go through the process of bringing about a different and old and somewhat reliable lexicon. Abbott Smith states the word denotes mutual consideration after mutual hostility, changing enmity for Emmett. This is insight for living. Please stay with us to hear her teacher close today's program with a final comment today were talking about resolving those parent-child conflicts and if you like to learn more about this ministry.

Visit us online at insight world.or is possible you been listening to Chuck Swindoll's teaching today with a measure of regret. Perhaps you're thinking about a broken relationship that needs attention. There's a number of helpful resources prepared for you and found on our website but I'll point out one that's especially relevant check is written a book on the family called parenting from surviving to thriving in which he addresses practical topics such as restoring relationships after you blown it, and dealing with resentment and rebellion.

No family should be without this biblical counsel and is available for purchase.

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In that sense we are never close down and God is using these channels to reach families around the clock, so please remain faithful and consistent with your contributions to insight for living Chuck inside for living is a family were all about the life of one another, which is what we call our program insight for living during the season of social distancing and self quarantined were especially grateful to receive your letters your emails, and social media comments.

Your messages break the deafening silence of isolation and remind us that were going through this pandemic together just like a family very recently, one of your fellow listeners left this comment on our Facebook page.

Here's what she said Chuck it was 5 AM when I was on the way to work as a registered nurse. I was sick to my stomach thinking about what I might encounter. But when I turn the radio on your teaching on Daniel, you said no matter how dark and scary. The lion's den is our God is bigger. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for the reminder that fears can be tamed when you give them to God. Her comment touches me deeply God is using insight for living to deliver courage to this woman who battled the virus and serves your community on the front lines for its so dangerous. I'm grateful she's a part of our family well.

Just as listeners around the world lead inside for living. I can assure you that we certainly need you must not allow the current crisis to become a barrier for bringing fresh hope, encourage, to those who need a calming reassurance. They were in this battle together as a family and as you are able to give a gift to insight for living ministries. Please do that, your contribution will make all the different they will give our contact information now and I look forward to hearing from you today. Thanks, Chuck to respond to the need call listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 that's 1-800-772-8888 also give a donation online insight.or is Wednesday on insight for living with Chuck Swindoll the preceding message resolving those parent-child confidence was copyrighted in 2012 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2017 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. all rights reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited