If you're tired of pretending that you have it all together, If you're weary of cookie-cutter churches where image matters more than authenticity, then you're likely craving what God intended all along. The church was never designed to be a spiritual factory that's processing masses of people. Instead, God envisioned something radically different. A messy, beautiful family where broken people find acceptance. Today on Insight for Living, Schutzwindahl takes a deep dive into Romans 16.
Revealing how a simple list of names unveils God's blueprint for authentic community. He titled his message, Love and Kisses. Chapter 16 is loaded with names, most of them meaning nothing to us. You will not read the names. anywhere else.
Let me give you three things that these verses say, and then a couple or three things they mean. And I think you'll see the value of even a chapter like this. What do the verses say? First, There are 27 people mentioned by name. All of whom mean something to the writer, Paul.
Second thing I'll notice that there are 21 titles. 21 titles given. in the 16 verses added to the names. Let me show you. I commend to you our sister Phoebe.
Who is a servant of the church? The word is deacon. believe that Phoebe was one of the early deaconesses.
Now, the third observation I want to make is that there are 19 references to greetings of some kind. Greet her or greet him. I commend to you, Phoebe. And um Not just greet them, but verse 16 tells the readers to go a step further. Greet one another with a holy kiss.
Outside your family, it's doubtful any one of you have ever kissed anyone else in this gathering. I understand. Vance Packard, a sociologist of yesteryear. described America a nation of strangers. In a rather recent Gallup poll, four out of ten Americans admitted to frequent feelings of loneliness.
Some of you in this gathering today. Truth be told. Spend your evenings Very lonely. Author Dave Stone writes: Times have changed, and so have people. These days, as he quotes from Time magazine, these days, thanks to the electric garage door openers, you can drive straight into your home.
Never risking contact with your neighbor. risking contact. He's right. We used to build a front porch with a swing, now we build a back deck with a privacy fence. Preferably eight feet.
Hi. With a lock. On the inside. No one else has a key. Children get this.
Children see this. They see the incongruity in all of this. Clara Null, a young single mother from Oklahoma City, once described what she called one of the worst days of her life. Her washing machine broke down. Her head ached terribly.
The mail carrier brought a bill and she had no money to pay. Almost to the breaking point, she said, I wearily lifted my one-year-old into his high chair. leaned my head down against the tray and began to cry. Without a word. My son took his pacifier out of his mouth and stuck it in mine.
Children get it. We're a lonely, broken, struggling body of people. And it's the best kept secret in the midst. Let down your guard. Reach out to one another.
If you don't, we'll get slick and big and impressive and high-tech. And we'll start processing. people. Long as I'm a pastor of this church. We're not going to process people.
We're going to keep shaking hands. Greeting you. Doing our best to remember names and admitting it when we can't remember. and caring about each other.
Well We'll leave the kiss for later. I'll come back to it. Right now, let's find out what these verses mean. This first. The body of Christ has variety in.
Unity. Yeah. The body of Christ has variety in unity. There are so many different types.
So many different types of people. I've looked at every one of them at length. There are singles, of course, as well as couples. There are households as well as widows named here. Nine of these people are widows, I should say, or women.
Nine of them are women. In fact, you'll find this interesting. Look at verse Twelve it is. Look at these names, Greet, Trafina, and Tryphosa. I think they were twins.
But if you're having twins, don't name them Tryphena and Tryphosid. Please. There are slaves as well as royalty, as best I'm able to determine about 13 in that category.
So much behind the stories. See the name Nerus? Nehru, verse 15. You'd pass over the name and go right on to the other one that you can't pronounce. But let's pause for a moment.
In ancient days, an event occurred which shocked Rome. Two of the most distinguished people in the city were condemned for being Christians. They were Flavius Clemens, who had been consul of Rome. The word means a governor, a chief magistrate. and his wife Domatia.
Flavius and Domitillia. She was of royal blood. In fact, one of her children. She was a granddaughter. Of Vespasian, a former emperor.
and the niece of Domitian the reigning emperor at the time, And one of her sons was up Designated as a successor in the imperial power, Flavius. was executed and Domatia was banished to an island died a martyr because of their faith in Jesus. Here's my point. The name of their Chamberlain. Flavis and Domatia.
The name of the chamberlain was Nerus. Is it possible that Nerus the slave knew Christ? and had something to do with the making into Christians of Flavius. the ex-consul and Dumatilla, the princess with royal blood. Maybe idle speculation, but on the other hand, it That may be who he was.
Never discount the importance of your witness. Nerus, perhaps, was the reason those two had come to Christ, and Paul knew him. in whatever way we're not told.
So the body of Christ has variety and unity. Second. The body of Christ has servants in obscurity. I love this point. The body of Christ has servants in obscurity.
We mention Phoebe, who is a servant of the church. And please observe verse 2. Receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever matter she may have need of you, for she herself. has been a helper of many and of myself as well. Don't you wonder how?
Didn't you wonder what Phoebe did? Did she make his clothing? Did she prepare some of his meals? Did she help him with his appointments? Did she hide him when some were searching to kill him?
Or hurt him? Servanthood represents one thing. Hard work. Slaves of ancient days and servants of today are known for one thing mainly. Not notoriety.
Not a role of significance in the eyes of the general public, but work. Work. Again and again you will read of work. Hard work. A lady named Mary.
Verse 6 worked hard. For you. Verse 12: The twins are called workers in the Lord, and following them, Perseus is named only here. And Perseus worked to the point of exhaustion, the Greek says. End of verse 12.
Even a couple, Priscilla. and Aquila are called fellow workers in Christ. If you are a serving individual in the church, don't complain about the work. That's what serving means. The work of ministry is carried on by hardworking individuals.
Hard-working servants of Christ. Counseling is hard work. People needs represent hard work. The choir and all of its ministry, hard work. Practicing for that kind of piano solo, hard work.
Preparing sermons, hard work. But you're not here to... Be impressed with hard work, you're here to thank God for the servants. as I am. And by the way, this is a good time for me to say this since nine of the people listed are women.
Okay. Nine in the list of 27 Paul names are women. John Stott, in his book on Romans, listen to this. The prominent place occupied by women in Paul's entourage. shows that he was not at all the male chauvinist.
of popular fantasy. Does it also throw light on the vexed question? Of the ministry of women. As we have seen among the women, Paul greets. Four were hard workers in the Lord's service.
Priscilla, one of Paul's fellow workers, Junia. A well-known missionary, Phoebe, a deaconess.
Now, let me give a word to fellow Texan men, may I? Since I am one with you. I love Texas. I was born here. Plant the die here.
Not soon, but I have planned to die here. I have Texas friends all over and I came from another state back to Texas and was shocked to hear and to see evidence of male chauvinism. even in the church. to hear the ugly comments and jokes. and put-downs of women.
How unattractive. Men. For us to do that. Let's stop that habit. It doesn't come from the Spirit of God.
It comes from learned prejudice. The work of ministry would grind to a quick halt if it weren't for women. Serving the body of Christ. Funny, when you get overseas and you Look into a tribe in some Bush Mm-hmm. And there's a woman preaching.
Nobody in the tribe worries that it's a woman preacher. They're just grateful there's somebody preaching the gospel. Do I believe in women preachers?
Well, not normally, but... I would have to tell you, the scripture does say, let things be done decently and in order. But before you get to decent and order, you've got to let it be done. Many a mission organization would stop if it weren't for. Courageous women who holding forth the truth.
Women? Stay at it. Husbands? Yeah. You finish the sentence, okay?
Every once in a while, a word of appreciation is really in order. Third and finally, the body of Christ. Not finally. Third, the body of Christ has esteem in humility. That's next.
Esteem in humility. Let me show you something. Go back to Prisca and Aquila, one of my favorite couples. I'm going to give you a quick travelogue. I won't make you turn.
Back in Acts 18, Paul meets Aquila, the fellow tent makers. And Paul begins to live with him. Stay with me. They're in current. They live together.
Paul mentors Priscilla and And his fellow tent maker Aquila. They minister together as the church at Corinth gets underway. When Paul leaves Corinth after a number of years, brief years, but and quickly passing, really a little over 18 months, he's on his way to Ephesus. Scripture says at the end of Acts 18, he took with him Aquila and Priscilla.
So Aquila and Priscilla traveled with him and came to Ephesus. Paul was at Ephesus only briefly, according to. Acts 18, and then he's on his way down to Jerusalem and leaves Aquila and Priscilla. And so they're there to help found the church. They've been mentored by Paul.
They have some way along, some manner along the way, risked their neck for him, according to this passage, said only here. And then he leaves them in Ephesus. They help found the church at Ephesus. And then Apollos travels through, and they hear an incomplete theology in Apollos' ministry. In 24 to 28, describes Apollos, and they pulled him aside and mentored him and sent him back to Corinth, where he ministers and goes on as a magnificent spokesman for Christ.
It's Aquila and Priscilla. Uh But all you read about them here is that they are fellow workers. It's no big name. They didn't carry around a little business card that said Aquila and Priscilla. Because of us, Paul lives.
They didn't do that. Or Quill and Priscilla, we mentored Apollos. Let me pass along something to you who tend to be impressed with yourselves.
Okay. Uh When you get to be my age, you can say things like that and it just... People accept it. Proverbs 27, 2 says, Let another praise you and not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips. Guard against any self-praise.
Servants don't brag on themselves or their work. Stop doing that in case that happens to be. Uh one of your more prominent activities. The message we read: don't call attention to yourself, let others do that for you. The Net Bible has the footnote.
Self-praise can easily become a form of pride, even if it begins with trivial things. It does not establish a reputation. Reputation comes from what others think about you. Be like Priscilla and Aquila. They don't even have business cards.
They just risked their neck for Paul. The great exploits for Christ are never known. and never make the headlines. They never appear on brass plaques. or on statues.
They are done. in obscurity.
So let me pass along an ABCD. memory chart, okay? This is the way to help make this happen in case you still are struggling with what I'm saying. A accept The variety. Accept the variety.
I've made my greatest mistakes in ministry by first impressions. Usually, they are skewed. Especially if the person I'm looking at is very, very different. It's easy to think that because they, and then you finish the sentence. that they don't really love Christ like they should.
Accept people and the variety of people as they are. Second, Become a servant. Work on servanthood. If you wonder what a good project would be for this year, Take servanthood. Serve behind the scenes.
Serve without calling attention to it. Serve without keeping a record. Just serve. Just give. Yes, sir.
Become a serf. Third, cultivate esteem for others in the body. Even if you don't agree with him. That can happen. Even if you're not necessarily in their group.
Esteem them. They're a part of the family. Fourth, demonstrate your love, ABCD. Yeah. Yeah.
I was teaching a Bible class a number of years ago and I had a group about this size in a midweek service at a church and I noticed as I was going on in my teaching that the back door kind of blew open and in walked a couple of real studs. The guy had a sleeveless shirt on and Tattoos running down one arm, and the other one had a Harley jacket on and a Nazi helmet. The guy with a sleeveless shirt had on sunglasses that he never took off. And they sat right in the back, and when they sat down, you could hear this And people turned around, they folded their arms, and they stared just like this. Look right at me.
Okay. Well, Uh I didn't know them and Meeting was over and Okay. crowd kind of mingling together and they made a B line right down here. The guy with the helmet walked up to me. He said, Your name's Schweidel?
I said, me? I'm Max Lucato. I have a church down there. San Antonio down there. Right now, smooth up.
I said, yeah, I'm. I'm Oswano. He said, uh You the guy on the radio? You got talks on radio, I said. Yes, sir?
It's me. He says, something I've been wanting to do for a long time to you. And he dropped his helmet. I'm thinking, where are the ushers? And he gave me a bone-crushing hug.
lifted me off the floor. As he talked to me, Okay. and said Chuck. Don't ever quit. You told me about Jesus.
And I told him about Jesus. And I want you to know. I love you. And I thought. Thank God that's what he wanted to do.
Thank God. Then he let me back down. Other buddy came up, another one of those. My back has not been the same since then. What a great moment.
I had them all misfigured. in my mind. I don't even think they cared. They'd driven about 60 miles. They'd heard him.
this little class we had and You want to be there. He had led, by the way, had led his buddy to Christ. Brought him with him. My kind of guys. You bow your heads, please.
I really hope you won't leave thinking. About anybody but yourself. Where you are on this spectrum. of authentic forgiving Accepting love. Isn't it about time you laid down the hatchet?
How time you let it go? We'll never be what we could be without. True love Most powerful force on the planet. If you've never known Jesus personally, You need to know that his love for you is just like that. He takes you as you are.
And he'll little by little start on the inside and change you into who he is. And you'll love the change. But it gets started by a Act of faith. Believing in Jesus. Lord, teach us again and again and again and again.
Since we're people of habit, Teach us over and over and over and over. What a waste of time it is. to put people's faces on our dartboard. and to mentally see them as enemies. when in fact we're going to spend eternity with them.
And Lord, while we're thinking about this, Teach us how to love those. that are awfully unlovely. Then we'll really understand what it means when you tell us you love us. Deliver us from processing people. Keep us from being slick, big, and impressive.
Keep us a family. In Jesus' name. Everybody set? Amen. Mm.
With Chuck Smindahl's prayer, we conclude another study in Paul's letter to the Romans. He titled today's message Love and Kisses. Stay with us because we'll hear a personal comment from Chuck in just a moment. If you're ready to dig into the scriptures on your own, Insight for Living provides a variety of helpful resources to guide you. For instance, one of the most popular tools we have is our Searching the Scriptures Bible Study Workbooks.
The one for Romans covers all 16 chapters of Paul's letter. It's called Romans, the Christian's Constitution. While it's fresh on your mind, be sure to take advantage of this offer and our other resources for Romans because this series concludes on December 16th. To purchase the Bible study for Romans, go to insight.org/slash offer. I recently saw a brief comment from one of our listeners that said, Chuck, I've been following your podcasts faithfully, and I just placed an order for the workbooks on Romans.
Here at Inside for Living, we love reading these affirming notes because it's the very reason we create these Bible study tools, and we've been doing that since 1979. Chuck? Yes, Insight for Living has been around since 1979. And we've heard countless stories from our longtime listeners that absolutely thrill my heart. Young married couples who started their families back in the 80s are now reaping the spiritual rewards of children and their children infused with the hope and wisdom they embraced many years ago.
It moves me deeply. To hear from grandparents who look back over the decades and see God's thread of mercy woven through the tapestry of their lives. impacting generations for God's glory. What a legacy What a privilege to have invested in eternal things that are now bearing fruit in ways you could never have imagined. And now Just like me and Cynthia, maybe you have more resources than you did as newlyweds.
Perhaps God has blessed you just as He's blessed the Swindall family with more financial margin than in those early days when you were wiping noses and changing diapers. Money was tight back then, wasn't it?
Well, this is your opportunity to impact new generations and bless young families who need insight. for living their demanding lives. Young parents are facing pressures and challenges. we never dreamed of. They need God's word.
They need biblical wisdom. They need hope that only comes from. Knowing Jesus Christ. Psalm seventy eight. Verse 4 comes to mind.
And with the words of this psalm, I will close. we will not hide these truths from our children. We will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. That's what we're doing together. telling the next generation about the Lord.
Thanks for giving your best gift. And thanks for doing so. Today. And here's how to respond to Chuck Swindall. To send your donation in the mail, you can address your envelope to InsightForLiving.
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To speak with one of our friendly ministry reps, you can call us at 800-772-8888. That's 800-772-8888. or you can give online at insight.org slash donate. I'm Bill Meyer. Join us when Chuck Swindahl continues our study in Romans, the Christian's Constitution.
Monday on Insight for Living. Uh The preceding message, Love and Kisses, was copyrighted in 2008, 2010, and 2025, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2025 by Charles R. Swindahl Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide. duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.
