Welcome to this weekend's In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley. One of the believers' primary tasks is to attract others to Jesus Christ. Our study of Colossians continues with instruction on how to treat the unbeliever. We have a message that will change a person's eternal destiny.
We have a message that will change a person's relationship in their family, with their friends, with those with whom they work. And if that is true, and it is true, why is it that people are not rushing the church, joining the church, sitting in the pew with an open Bible, listening attentively, aggressively to the gospel? If this is true, why are they not rushing the church?
Well, I believe there's a reason for that. And I want you to turn to Colossians Chapter 4, and I believe we'll find out the reason. Because in Colossians Chapter 4, we want to read verses 5 and 6, and the title of the message is How to Treat the Unbeliever.
How do you treat a person who's a non-Christian? And so I believe Paul gives us the answer to that in this fourth chapter. And he begins by saying in verse 5, Conduct yourselves with wisdom taught outsiders, making the most of the opportunity.
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned as it were with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person. Well, first of all, let me say that according to the scripture, you and I have a responsibility to influence the unbeliever for good. You and I have a responsibility to influence the unbeliever for good. Now, we have a responsibility to influence them, but in what way? And Paul says, you and I have a responsibility to influence the unbeliever in two different ways.
And what is the first one? He says, first of all, we are to influence the unbeliever, first of all, by our conduct. Now look at this, verse 5, conduct yourselves with wisdom taught outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. That is, our conduct is the first way we are to influence the unbeliever. Now, why is that true? Because it is extremely important that our first witness be that of our conduct.
Why? Well, I think what Paul is saying here, first of all, what other people see in us determines what they really hear from us. And what they see in us oftentimes will attract them to listen to more to what we have to say. On the other hand, sometimes what they see in our behavior is so distracting they cannot hear what we are saying.
But sometimes what they see determines what they'll be able to hear. If we're going to influence believers and non-believers alike for good, then it begins with our conduct, our behavior. And that's what Paul is referring to here. Now, he says, here is the nature of this conduct. He says there are two things that should be characteristic of our conduct. One of them, he says here, is that you and I should walk wisely. Look at verse 5, conduct yourselves with wisdom taught outsiders, making the most of the opportunity.
First of all, we have a responsibility in our conduct and that conduct should be above reproach. But then, all right, what kind of conduct is it? It is a conduct, it is a behavior that is best described as one of wisdom. That is, a conduct that is lived believing and understanding wisdom to be seeing things from God's viewpoint. That is, seeing life from God's viewpoint.
This is where I want to live. Wisdom is understanding my circumstances and responding to them properly. So if believers are going to have a good influence on the unbeliever, we must understand our circumstances and respond to them in the proper fashion. Now, I want us to think for just a moment, how do we develop wisdom? Because wisdom is something we develop, wisdom is also a gift, but the two go hand in hand. Wisdom isn't something that God gives apart from us, but in relationship and cooperation with us. If we're going to relate to the non-believer the way we ought to, then what we have to ask is, how do we gain wisdom? Well, number one, if we're going to gain wisdom, we must learn the principles of Scripture. Because, you see, there's no such thing as a wise man or woman who is ignorant of the Word of God. Because wisdom is seeing things from God's viewpoint.
Wisdom is understanding my circumstances from God's viewpoint and responding to them accordingly. Step number two, obey the principles. It isn't enough just to learn them, but secondly, obey them.
That is, put them to work in your own life. Apply the principles. First of all, we learn the principles. Secondly, we apply the principles. Now, watch this.
Very important. Thirdly, evaluate the results of your obedience to that principle. So what you do is you learn the principle. You apply the principle in your life, and then you step back, and you observe what happened. Here's what God said, here's what I did, and here's what happened. And this principle, here's what God said, here's what I did and here's what happened. This principle, here's what God said, here's what I did and here's what happened.
After a while, you begin to learn something. You begin to learn the way God thinks. Here's the way God thinks. When you do this, God does this. When God says this and you do this, here's what you can expect.
After a while, you learn to expect. You learn to anticipate. You begin to learn the ways of God.
You begin to learn to see things from God's viewpoint. So step number one, we learn the principle. Step number two, we apply the principle. Step number three, we evaluate the consequences of that obedience. Step number four. Step number four is that you and I observe, you and I observe the disobedience of the wicked. If you want to develop wisdom, that's all you've got to do. Just open your eyes, start looking back off, evaluate, not only the cause and effect, the consequence, both in the believer and the unbeliever.
And you know what's going to happen? You're going to begin to see things the way God sees them. And friend, when you begin to see things the way God sees them, it'll change your behavior. And the reason the unbeliever can't see that is because they're blind to the things of God. Your eyes spiritually do not get open until you receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, born into the kingdom of God. That's why he says you must be born again. We become a new creation in Christ Jesus that gives us a whole new set of eyes, a new mind to be able to see things the way God sees them. You see, he's made it simple and plain, cause and effect.
If I do this, here's what's going to happen. Now, my responsibility to the unbeliever is to so conduct myself that they can't put their finger on this, that, or the other. But rather, they will be able to see in your life and my life wisdom.
And so Paul says, we must be careful about our conduct for that reason. Now, how do we express this wisdom? We said, first of all, we're to walk in wisdom. Here's the way to develop wisdom in a person's life.
It is a gift of God, but it also must be mixed with our own behavior. But then how do we express wisdom toward a lost person? That is, how should you act in your office around the lost person? Listen, number one, if you're going to conduct yourself in the right fashion, you reach out to them in the spirit of a servant. Reach out to that person in the spirit of a servant. It is amazing what happens when you give yourself away to someone else to serve them, to be of help to them. If you begin to reach out to someone who is an unbeliever, can I help you or don't even ask. Just take advantage of the opportunity of helping that person.
So that's the first way. We reach out in the spirit of a servant. Number two, accept them just the way they are. You say, but my goodness, what kind of life they're living.
I didn't say that you condone what they're doing, that you agree with it, that you would want to do that. But accept them where they are. Now, where are they? That's the third thing we need to remember, is to remember where they are. First of all, they're outside.
Outside the kingdom, outside the body of Christ, outside the church, walking in darkness. They're blind to the truth. They're lost, separated from God and acting, listen, doing what comes naturally.
That's what they're doing, remember that. So to accept them the way they are, we have to remember where they are. And once you accept them the way they are, because you remember where they are and the reason they're where they are and then you begin to reach out to them with the spirit of a servant, something is going to happen. The fourth thing is, avoid all appearances of evil.
There may be some things that may be legitimate to you, but to a lost person that you're trying to win to Jesus Christ, and that's what Paul was referring to a while ago about pleasing all men, there's some things we may want to lay aside in order to win that person of Christ until they mature enough to understand that's not a sin. And then number five, kindness should dominate our relationship with the unbeliever. The Bible says in the Living Bible translation, he says, do you not know that kindness makes a man and a woman attractive? Kindness, the spirit of kindness. Listen, when someone is reaching out to you to help you and they have a spirit of kindness about them, it's hard to turn that down.
It's hard to reject that. And so the way we express this wisdom that comes, as we have described it here, we express that wisdom by reaching out as a helper in the spirit of kindness to that person in order to do what? To attract them not to us, but to the Christ who lives inside of us.
But they're not going to be able to hear anything about Jesus unless they see conduct, behavior, that is in keeping with the gospel that we're talking about. So first of all, Paul says, if you'll notice, how do we respond? He says we influence them first of all by our conduct. And that conduct is to be conduct that is expressed wisely. But he says there's a second way involving our conduct. Notice if you will, conduct yourselves with wisdom taught outsiders, making the most, listen, making the most he says of every opportunity. Now, what is he talking about?
I think in the King James it says, redeeming the time or what he's talking about is taking advantage, being sensitive to every single opportunity we have to influence that person in order to lead them to Christ. Now, why does that begin? Here's where it begins. It begins, if we're going to take advantage of every opportunity, it begins with being sensitive to something sensitive to what? Sensitive to words that indicate to us that they are hurting, that they have needs, that they're frustrated, they're anxious, they're lonely, they don't have some answers, they're sick, that is there's something going on inside of them. When you and I become sensitive to those key words of hurt and disappointment and pain and suffering or emptiness or loneliness or shall we say indecision on their part, those are all good indications of us, to us that they're coming to the point where they're going to need something.
Paul says it is our responsibility to take advantage of every single opportunity. Listening to those key words of the unbeliever because they are going to get in the position sooner or later unless God takes them off the scene instantly, which he can certainly do. When they're going to need some believer to walk to their side and say, let me tell you one more time what it means to trust the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior. Now, all of that in one way to influence the unbeliever. First of all, by our conduct. Secondly, Paul says there's just two ways here. First of all, by our conduct. Secondly, in verse six, by our speech. He says, let your speech always, not sometimes, always be with grace, seasoned as it were with salt so that you may know how you should respond to each person. Now, there are two ways he says we are to influence the unbeliever.
Number one, what is it? Conduct. Number two, with our speech.
We are to influence the unbeliever to receive the Lord Jesus Christ because that's best for them. First of all, by our conduct. And secondly, by our conversation. Now, what in the world is he talking about here? Well, there should be found two characteristics in our speech.
What are they? Look, verse six. Let your speech always be, he says, let your speech always be, first of all, gracious. Haven't you heard some people, before they opened their mouth, you know what's coming out? Poison. It just spews everywhere.
They don't like anybody and they don't like anything. He says the believer's speech is to be characterized by what? He says by graciousness, that is, friendly, kind, polite, courteous, compassionate, thoughtful.
That's the way we ought to be talking to the non-believer. He says, let your speech be that that is characterized by graciousness. Now, look, if you will, in chapter four of Ephesians, verse 29.
Listen to what he says. He says, let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. Now, let's look at that verse a minute. You know what that verse of Scripture will do if it's applied?
You're going to start hearing more positive things out of some people's mouth than negative. Now, let's look at this verse. Let no. Now, when he says let, that means you and I have control over it. We're responsible.
We make a choice. Choose not to allow any unwholesome word proceed from your mouth. Nothing that is cutting, stinging, full of bitterness, resentment, hostility, belittling, devaluating, gossiping, murderous, thunderous criticism of someone else. He says, don't let any of that be found.
Nothing lustful, implying all kinds of illicit things, no dirty jokes, no subtle, shady stories, none of that. He says, let no unwholesome speech proceed from your mouth, but what? But such is as good for edification. That is, what we say to each other ought to be what? Encourage one another. Listen, building up one another according to the need of the moment. That is, what he's saying is that our conversations with other people should match the need of that moment. If they're hurting, we encourage them.
If they're full of joy, we share it with them. In other words, our speech should be that which is suitable and needful for the moment. That's the kind of speech we're to have. And so he says, don't let any other kind proceed out of your mouth, but that which is edifying according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. Now, have you ever thought about that, that when you build someone up and you edify them and encourage them verbally, that it's like giving them grace?
I don't mean saving grace, but grace. That is, you're building them up in the faith, building them up in their own self-image, building them up in their own sense of self-worth. And the truth is there are a lot of folks around us whose self-image needs to be built up.
I know that every single believer is a person of notable excellence according to Ephesians chapter 2 10. But there are many believers who don't understand that. And they're walking around their heads down, their chins down to their toes, and they feel like a nobody. Nobody cares. Nobody loves them. They're full of mistakes. They're full of wrongs.
There's so many things wrong about their life. And God says, you're a person of notable excellence. We believers ought to be lifting up and edifying one another. He said, how am I going to edify? How am I going to lift up an unbeliever? Encourage him.
Encourage her. Everybody wants to be lifted up. Everybody needs to be edified.
Everybody needs their sense of self-worth lifted at times. First characteristic, he said, is that speech ought to be with graciousness. Secondly, notice what he says and what he doesn't say. He says, back to Colossians 4 now. He says, let your speech always be with grace, seasoned as it were with salt.
He didn't say let your conversation or your speech be salty. Cutting, stinging, burning. But he says, seasoned with salt. Now what does salt do?
Flavors, preserves. It heals. Salt does many things. He says, our conversation is to be, that is our speech is to be seasoned with it. You know what seasoned means?
Put in just enough. Some people's mouths are like the salt shakers, burning, stinging, not healing, not preserving, not flavoring. He says, our speech is to be seasoned with salt. Now what does that mean? That we don't come on wimpy and mamby-pamby. Yes, I guess so. In other words, that's not what he's talking about.
Here's what he's talking about. That in the spirit of graciousness and love and kindness, we're to be firm and we're to be strong when we need to be strong. We're to tell the truth when it hurts, when it stings, when it burns, and when it brings a revulsion against us. But we just say it in a gracious manner, in a loving way, firmly, strongly, seasoned with salt.
Not salty, seasoned with salt. Now he says, here's the way you treat a non-believer. By your conduct and by your speech, they become attracted to this Christ and everything he stands for, which you and I talk about, believe in, and practice. Thank you for listening to How to Treat the Unbeliever. For more inspirational messages like this one, visit our online 24-7 station. And if you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or In Touch Ministries, stop by InTouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.
