How to Handle Those Who Hurt You - Part 2

Welcome to the In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley for Friday, December 15th. Do you respond like Jesus, even in extreme situations? Stay with us to discover the best way to handle those who hurt you. When someone either deliberately chooses to hurt you or will say things that end up hurting you, how do you respond? On the other hand, let me say that a person has the capacity to respond to all of that without ever feeling hurt. But what is the key to being mistreated without feeling the hurt? I'm not going to say you'll ever reach a stage in your life where you will never feel some of the barbs that are pointed at you.

But we don't always have to feel the things that are said or done about us. But the question is, how are we to respond? So I want us to look first of all at the responses of a child of God. I want us to look at the resources out of which we're to respond. And then I want us to look at what he says here as to the rewards when you and I respond in the proper fashion. Now, what is the believer's proper response when those who will hurt us or attempt to do so?

All right. Number one, he says, beginning in verse twenty seven, But I say to you who here love your enemies. Now, friend, let's face it.

That's a big order. We're not talking about just loving someone who thinks you're not the greatest person in the world. The Bible says love your enemies.

That is, they have positioned themselves by disposition, by attitude to be against you. Sometimes that takes some real effort on our part. Now, when Jesus says he loved everybody, remember that he had a deeper capacity to love than you and I do.

But he also gave us the responsibility. So we're not talking about some sentimental type of love. Yes, we do love everybody, because even though Jesus loved everybody, sometimes he confronted them. Now, listen, love isn't weak. Genuine, true, agape love is a strong kind of love. It is the love that is able to take abuse without defending itself. But it is the quality of love that also, because it is redemptive by nature, is able and willing and ready and courageous enough to confront the other person when confrontation with them is for their best benefit. So we're not talking about a mealy kind of love. We're talking about genuine agape love that's always redemptive in its ultimate purpose. So first of all, he says we're to love our enemies. Secondly, he said do good to those who hate you. Now, they may have wronged you, hurt you deeply.

You may have a great pile of evidence for just walking off. But you see, I have no right to be passive toward my enemies, toward those who hurt me. He says I'm to love them.

That's aggressively. He says I am to do good to them. And the third thing he says is to bless those who curse you. Now, you know what the word blessing here means?

It means I'm to say something good about those who said something evil or wrong about me. He says bless those who curse you. So he says not only are we to love our enemies, not only are we to do good to them, we are to bless them. And then he says we are to pray for those who mistreat us. Now, you see, I do pray for my enemies. But what do you pray? God take care of them.

Now, all of us may feel that way sometimes. We want to move from the New Testament back to the Old Testament, because you know what David prayed about his enemies? I mean, sometimes David says, God, just wipe them out, cut them down, slice them up, put them in the meat ground and get rid of them, God. And he was praying that with all the sincerity of his heart, you and I come to the New Testament, what does Jesus say? Not wipe them out, not destroy them.

What? Love them, do good to them, bless them. And here he is saying that you and I are to pray for them. All right.

Notice what he says in verse 31. And just as you want people to treat you, treat them in the same manner. Let me ask you this. Have you ever thought about how you would like to be treated? Have you ever taken the time to think through how you want other people to relate to you? He says, then whatever you come up with, he says, then you treat the other person the same way you have decided that you want to be treated. Listen to this carefully. Now, how do we respond to those who would hurt us? We treat them the way we want to be treated.

Now, think about this. Sometimes you and I don't understand why the other person treats us the way they do. Sometimes it's because they grew up in a bad situation and they have been resentful and angry and bitter all of their life. They grew up angry. They're not just angry at you. They just don't abuse you.

You happen to be the person at the moment. So it isn't so much the fact that you've done them wrong. They're just angry or they may be bitter. They're full of resentment.

It's on the inside. They're churning. So when he says, as you would have others to do unto you, do unto them likewise. But what we need to ask ourselves is this. Why is that fellow treating me that way?

Why is she saying the things that she's saying? Is it because I have wronged them or is it because deep down inside of them, there is turmoil and conflict and a civil war going on and they're going to take it out on somebody? How many wives or husbands have been abused by angry marriage partners or children have been abused by their parents? Not because they had done wrong, but because of this overwhelming sense of anger that boils up in them.

And it just happens to spill out and float out on somebody else who is innocent. You see, because you and I are believers, we have to take the initiative and the initiative is this. I can decide how I want to be treated. And what Jesus is saying in this passage is, listen, you take the initiative. How would you want to be treated if you were doing things you didn't want to do, if you were acting in a way that you didn't want to act, if you were ashamed of what you were doing?

How would you want to be treated? Friend, you and I have the responsibility of God's sons and daughters in the faith. We have the responsibility of understanding that we must live on a higher plane, a higher level. We don't respond the way the world responds. We respond on a whole different plane. Now look in verse 35.

Love your enemies is interesting. He said it twice. Do good and lend. He says we're to lend to them. Now, what does he mean by that? We're not to just go around lending to all the folks who say bad things about us.

But when those who are a position themselves as being our enemies or abuse us or say things about us, here's what he's saying. If you find out that person is in need, lend them something. Now, if they don't pay it back, what happens? When you lend it, you lend it. But from God's point of view, God, if they never pay it back, it's perfectly all right.

If they do fine, if they don't, that's fine. But at least I have found the need and I have attempted to meet that need. Now, if you notice verse 36, he says, be merciful, just as your father is merciful. That is, or be compassionate, be compassionate and sympathetic, just as your father is.

You know what he's saying there? He's saying those who wrong us, how are we to respond? We're to respond like the father, compassionately concerned that their life is so out of balance, that they would spend their time accusing and abusing and lying and saying all manner of evil against you falsely. He's saying be compassionate for them.

They've got a problem. He says we're to be merciful. What does the Bible say? Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain what? Blessed are those who are compassionate, for they shall obtain compassion. That is, God will respond to us in the same way and others will respond to us.

You see, when you and I respond in a Godlike fashion, it is amazing the influence and the impact it has upon other people who are watching us and learning how to respond by watching how we respond. All right, then he says, look, in verse 37, do not judge and you'll not be judged. Do not condemn and you'll not be condemned. Now, here's a verse of scripture that a lot of folks use and they use this. So, shouldn't ever say anything about anybody.

That's not what the Bible says. Now, let me show you something about this passage in order to help you understand what he's saying here. He's not saying that you and I should never be discerning. He's not saying that you and I should never make a judgment about someone. Because there are times when you and I will meet somebody and we'll know that there's something wrong.

The question is what motivates our opinion. And secondly, even if my opinion upon first meeting this person is not good, I'm to respond in a compassionate Christlike fashion and not to be judgmental in a condemning fashion. That's what he's talking about. He says to us now, do not judge and you'll not be judged and do not condemn and you'll not be condemned. Pardon and you will be pardoned.

Let me clarify something there. That does not mean that if you do not forgive your friend, God won't forgive you. Remember that when Jesus was speaking, he was speaking in the days under the law. You and I have the cross which followed this time upon which all of our sin past, present and future has been nailed and forgiven and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. So our sins are taken care of. God isn't going to condemn me because I may go through a period of time of having a hard time forgiving someone else. He says I'm to forgive those who wrong me. He says I'm to pardon those who hurt me. And then listen to what he says.

It's wonderful he ends up with this one. He says, give verse 38. He puts all this together. Give. It will be given to you good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over.

They will pour into your lap, for by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you in return. Here's what he's saying. In light of the context of that whole passage, he says, people mistreat you. You just give. He says it will be returned. It doesn't mean that the person that you wronged is going to give it back.

But as you and I are free and generous, even toward those who wrong us, God will see to it that he gets back in his own way by his own methods. Now, what are our resources? How are we going to be able to do that? So I want to show you a couple of things. So that's the second thing I want you to jot down. First of all, what is our proper response?

We've just discussed that. Second, what are our resources? Here's my resource. My resource for loving my enemies, doing good to them, blessing them, not defending myself, giving to them, lending to them, being merciful, compassionate toward them, forgiving them. What is my resource?

Here's my resource. Christ is my life. So how can I respond in that godly fashion when my old human nature, that is the old sin principle that still abides in me, how can I respond the way Jesus required me to respond?

Only because Christ is my life. And what does he say in Galatians chapter five? Let's look at those two verses.

You know them by heart, but I want you to notice them again. Listen to how Paul says this. He says in verse five, chapter five, verse twenty-two, but the fruit, not the works, the fruit of the Spirit is what?

Love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, patience, gentleness, self-control. He says that's the fruit of whom? The Spirit, not of you, not of me. You see, fruit is what a branch bears, not produces. Branch doesn't produce fruit. Sap that runs in the vine runs in the branch, and so the fruit is produced.

The branch simply bears what the vine, the sap that runs in the vine produces. You see, you and I can't do all the things that Jesus just required of us. That's why the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost and thereafter to indwell every single one of us. And as we allow him to live his life in and through us, what are our resources?

Our resources are Christ who is our life, the Holy Spirit living within us. And so you say, well, how do I respond even though I know Christ is my life? How do I respond when the pressure's on and I mean the barbs are flying and the arrows are coming and I'm hurting? How do I respond? Here's how you respond. You respond by faith.

Father, it's not in me I'm trusting you to respond through me out of your life, not out of my life, out of your life. And what does that demand of me? Exactly what Paul said. Chapter 2 of Galatians, I have been crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me. And the life which I now live, I live with the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

Listen, let me ask you a question. Crucified. Let's say that you're standing before the cross and here's the man who's been crucified.

There he hangs dead. You could abuse him. You could accuse him. You could say all manner of evil against him.

You could do anything you want to do. You know how he'd respond? No response.

Why? He's dead. What Paul says isn't just theory. It is absolutely true.

And you and I are never going to reach utopia where nothing ever bothers us. So don't look for that. But I know that what he says about Christ being our life, I know what he says about being crucified.

I know what he says about that that's our only resource. You cannot respond to some of those commands apart from just saying, Lord, I can't. God, you know what the old flesh feels, Lord. I'm just trusting you to respond through me, Lord. It's your life.

It's not my life. And you see, the Bible says we're encompassed about those who trust him are encompassed about the angels of the Lord. Encompassed round about those who fear him. Anything that comes your way must hit him before it hits you. So if God allows you to be criticized and abused and attacked, what's he doing that for?

He's doing that in order to work out something good in your life. What's your resource? It isn't you. It isn't what you've learned. It isn't reading the Bible and praying. It isn't the only resource you have to be able to treat your enemies or those who wrong you is Christ. Living within you and responding out of who he is and responding out of his love. Now, he says the two rewards.

First, we said the response and resource. This is the rewards. You go back to Luke chapter six for a moment.

He says, verse thirty five. Here are your rewards. Love your enemies.

Do good and lend, expecting nothing in return. And your reward will be what? Great. That's great from God's point of view. And you will be sons of the most high. For he himself is kind, ungrateful, evil men. Yes, what he says and the many other awards. But he just says to here, he says your awards are going to be great. Now, listen, you know, when a little boy says, I've got a whole lot of money and he's got 10 bucks. From his point of view, ten dollars, a whole lot of money. When a multi, multi, multi millionaire says, I got a whole lot of money.

He's not talking about 10 bucks. Amen. When we talk about reward being great, man, you know, we just have a little finite view. When God says your award is going to be great. Imagine it's going to be like.

And then he says the second award is this. You're going to be acting like God. You tell me anything any better than that. That our proper response to those who wrong us is. That when we properly respond, we are acting like God.

We are loving in return. Now, my friend, I don't know who's wronged you, how often they've wronged you or what they've done. But I do know this.

If you can remember this simple principle. The angel of the Lord in camp it round about those who fear him. And the Bible says he delivers him or delivers her before anything can get to you.

It's got to touch God. So if God opens you up to be. Treated wrongly. And hurt sent your way.

Here's the ultimate key. You listening carefully. If you will always see the wrong. As from God.

That it is instigated by Satan. But God puts his hand on it and uses it as a tool of sanding and sifting and molding and building character. My friend, you'll never grow better. Never grow resentful. Won't get ugly. Won't get in the middle of all of that.

And what will happen? God will be building character in your life while others are self destructing their own lives because of their vicious spirit. Did you know that abuse, wrong attitudes and malicious gossip is the believers opportunity to grow up to be like God? I don't know about you.

If that'll make me like him. I say, Lord, sent. Thank you for listening to part two of how to handle those who hurt you. If you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or in touch ministries, stop by in touch. Dot O. R. G. This podcast is the presentation of in touch ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.