Why Our Prayers Are Unanswered

Welcome to the In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley for Wednesday, August 30th. Have you ever prayed but become quickly frustrated with the delay? Sometimes it's our decisions that keep the answers from coming. Learn more as the series on how to talk with God continues.

What I'd like to do is to give you two lists of things, and I want you to write fast this morning. Two lists of things that you and I need to consider as to why our prayers go unanswered. Now, we said on one occasion that God does answer all of our prayers.

He says yes, no, and wait. And that is true. But I want us to look at the reasons we do not see the desires of our heart come to pass in the area of answered prayer. And all of us have prayed at times, and God did not do what we asked him to do. Now, you can say anything you want to say about it, but the real truth comes down, Lord, you didn't do what I told you to do.

That's really sort of what we feel about it. So I want us to deal with some very practical things, and the first area here is this. When everything is right between you and God, why then, even then, are our prayers not answered the way we want to see them answered?

The first reason is this. One of the reasons the prayer answer is withheld is because we don't want him. We want what he has to offer. God has ordained that we want him. He's loved us, and he says he predestinated us according to his will. He predestinated us to do what?

To be conformed to his likeness. If he's in the process of conforming us to his likeness, God isn't interested in answering your prayers and mine to the neglect of or the very idea of looking around him and ignoring him to get what he wants us to have. So one of the reasons, that is when our heart is right as best we know, one of the reasons he withholds the prayer is because he wants to refocus our attention upon himself.

The second thing is to teach us to trust him. If he gives you everything you want, the moment you want it, that's not trusting God. But are you willing to believe that God is going to keep his word when there's no evidence? When it seems as if the heavens are brass, as he says, and the earth is like iron, and God says, I will supply your need. So what are you going to do? You're going to say, well, there's no point in praying because after all, I've asked for a whole week and God hasn't supplied my need. But you see, if we, listen, if you and I are trusting God, we are trusting in what God says in his word.

So what does he do? Sometimes he withholds the answer in order to do what? To teach us to trust, to believe what he said because he said it, whether we have any evidence or not. God is building a foundation of faith in us so that he can teach us to look to him and believe him and trust him for longer periods of time when longer periods of time are necessary for God to work into our life, those essentials to get us ready for answered prayer, which brings me to the third reason. One of the reasons he withholds the answer is because he is in the process of preparing us. For example, many of you single gals and fellows, you've been praying since you were 15, 18 years of age for the Lord to send your marriage partner.

He still has none at year 25. You're saying, my goodness, what is God waiting for? I'll tell you one reason he's probably waiting, he's probably waiting to get you ready to get married. You say, I've been ready since I was 21.

That's your opinion, but not necessarily his. There are some blessings God wants you to have. It's in his will for you to have them. He's waiting for you spiritually to be able to handle the blessings. So one of the reasons you pray and does not come is because he's waiting to get you ready. And then a fourth reason, one of my most favorite reasons for God withholding the blessing is this. He withholds what you and I request in order to give us something better than we asked for.

More than you deserve, more than you asked for, more than you expect. One of the most beautiful examples of that is Lazarus. When Mary and Martha had called up to Jesus and said, Lazarus is sick under death, please come and heal him. He didn't go. He waited till Lazarus died.

Now you answer this. Was it a greater blessing to have a disease healed or to be raised right out of the grave? A greater blessing that they had asked for. So these four things oftentimes are reasons that God withholds the blessing. When it's not the condition of your heart, it is God who has something greater in mind. Now it'd be great if you and I could say they're the only four reasons that God doesn't answer our prayer. But I want to give you seven more right quickly, all right?

Get your pencil out. Because these are the things you and I have to deal with. He says that a man or woman's prayers are hindered when their home relationships are not right.

Now you think about this for a moment. How in the world can you have fellowship with a loving Heavenly Father who is forgiving you and gracious to you and at the same time you're saying to your husband or wife, would you get off my back when you're building up resentment and indifference when a son or a daughter having conflict with their parents and the parents conflict with their sons and daughters and their family heartaches and family problems and resentment and bitterness and indifference and in gratitude and selfishness and caustic words and conversation of blaming, all of these things going on. And then after you go through all that, you get on your knees and you say, oh Heavenly Father, I want to tell you, He says your prayers are hindered.

Because you see, we can't be having constant conflict on a horizontal level and expect God to answer our prayers. He says He's not going to do it. You see, the reason here that we think He will is because we don't understand the nature and the character of God.

What did He say? He said, I have predestinated you to be what? Shaped and conformed with the likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ. The reason God will not answer our prayers when things are not right in our heart, if He did, His answered prayer when things are not right would be His way of condoning our disobedience. He's not going to condone disobedience.

He hates disobedience because He knows that disobedience is destroying God's wonderful, super, super beautiful purpose for all of our lives. So what does He do? He just closes the door of heaven and locks it up until we get our family situation right. Now somebody says, well, but I've had family situations for a long, long time and God's answered my prayers. No, He hasn't. You say, I know He has.

No, you don't. You see, here's the thing we forget. Other people are praying for us. Number one, God answers their prayers and secondly, it may be that God's just having mercy on the other members of your family and He's doing for them. But it certainly isn't because you have prayed for the simple reason He says, if I regard iniquity in my heart, He'll not hear me. That is if I purpose it in my heart, if I aim to do sin, if I know it's in my heart and I keep hammering away at it, He says, God's not going to answer you. You can't go home on Sunday and say to your wife, listen, why did you burn the chicken?

After all, we were late to go to church this morning, on and on and on and on you go and giving her a hard time right in front of the kids and then you say, heaven, I thought I want you to bless this meal. I'm here to say that is hypocrisy in God's eyes. And you see, we fall into habits of doing things and listen, you know what God says?

He says, He makes the heavens like brass and the earth like iron, which is His way of saying in Deuteronomy, I'm not listening to what you're saying. One of the reasons the church is so weak is there's so much prayerlessness. And what I mean by that, I don't mean that folks aren't talking, I mean, God's not listening.

That's why it's very important that when there are difficulties and heartaches in the home, we confess at each other right then and then say, honey, I'm sorry. It's not a question of who's right, but I want you to forgive me and apologize and then pray because you prayed that you're sick and I'm going to do one bit of good according to the Word of God. If I regard iniquity in my heart, resentment, bitterness, ugly attitudes and ungrateful spirit, He says, I'm not going to hear you. And you see, we're the ones who think we can parade around before a holy God with all this junk in our heart and think God's going to hear everything we're saying because we're who we are. God isn't impressed by that at all.

He's not going to answer our prayers. Second thing that you and I have to deal with is just that unforgiving spirit. Look if you will in Matthew 6 and let me show you why that's true. In Matthew 6 verse 14, look at that for a minute, if you will. He says, if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. He says, but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Here's what he's saying. He's saying, if you have an unforgiving spirit toward anybody, let me explain what an unforgiving spirit is because I've heard people say, well, I have forgiven him.

Let me tell you something, let me give you a little clue here. If you say you're forgiven and use either of these two words, you haven't forgiven. If you use but, if you say but I've forgiven you but, forget it. If you say I have forgiven you if, cancel it out. For the simple reason, I can't carry this in my heart against you and expect God to hear me.

Why? Let's go back to what I said in the very beginning. What did he say he predestinated us to do? Have big prayers answered?

He predestinated us to be shaped into his likeness and I'm not going to be able to walk around with a big chunk of unforgiveness harboring in my heart resentment toward anybody with a critical spirit always criticizing them and expect God to answer my prayers. He's not the slightest bit interested and you see, a lot of folks are doing a lot of talking that never gets even to the ceiling. You know how far it gets?

It goes whoop, just like that. For the simple reason that God isn't going to hear it. And you see, he is so clear about what he will not hear. The third reason. And that is wrong motives. If you'll notice in James, turn that for just a moment. In James chapter 4, he puts it this way in verse 3. He says, you ask and receive not because you ask amiss, that is you ask in error, that you may consume it upon your lust. That is, your motive is selfish. And when we want something, listen, when we want something and our motivation is selfish, here's what we do. We say, Lord, this is what I want.

And you see, it all goes back to the same old thing. When I ignore him, which simply means that all prayer ought to be what centered? God centered. So when you and I come to pray before we ever ask for anything, we want to be talking to him about himself and praising him and thanking him and acknowledging him and committing ourselves to him. All prayer ought to be God centered and not things centered. The things are over here.

The requests are over here. But our heart and life ought to be God centered. One of the best checks on your prayer life is after you begin your prayer about 30 seconds, stop and ask yourself, now how did I start this to begin with? Did I start off praising the Lord and thanking him and honoring him and just expressing my gratitude to him? Or did I jump into this thing and say, Lord, I want to send a quick order straight through and I want to bypass in a red tape?

Red tape being, Lord, I want to take the time just to tell you that I just love you and am grateful to you for all that you're doing for me every day. You know what our problem is? We make simple little mistakes in praying that it never, never even dawns on us that a loving, holy, righteous, wonderful God, and I want to say he's excited about answering our prayers and we short circuit him time after time. Now the reason they don't get answered is because, not that we don't have faith, all of us have some faith, but we have wavering faith.

Think if you will back in James for a moment. First chapter, remember what he says? Beginning in verse five, he says, if any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally and abraighteth not and it shall be given to him. But notice what he says after that. He says, but let him ask in what? Verse six, let him ask in faith nothing wavering for he that wavereth is like the waves of the sea driven with the winds and tossed.

And then I want you to notice the next verse because it is so firm. Let not that man who has wavering faith, maybe he will, maybe he won't, yes he will, no he won't. Let not that man think that he shall receive what? Anything from God.

Now listen to what he says. He says, if you and I begin to pray and ask the Lord to meet one of our needs or desires of our heart, and we make the terrible mistake, watch this, the mistake is what? We go by feeling and not by faith. And you see, this book keeps your faith anchored. And it matters not what kind of storm may come your way when you're asking the Lord to meet some need in your life and your circumstances don't look like God's doing anything. You keep looking at the book. He wants our praying to be God-centered, Christ-centered, Spirit-centered, not thing, circumstance, trouble, trial, heartache, pain, suffering-centered.

He wants it to be God-centered. You see, the problem is we get off on something else in it and that becomes the object. For example, let's say that you're in pain and you're suffering. Is it not normal and natural to think, oh God, I'm hurting so bad, Lord, if you just knew how bad I was hurting and oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord, you tell him all about it.

You're not thinking about him. Now, I understand that I've been there just like you have. What I'm saying is the mistakes we make are so subtle.

They're right beneath the surface. You think, but man, if you're hurting, you ought to pray, that's right. But you see, somehow when the mind and the heart and the spirit get God-centered, something happens.

And until it does, you're just threatening, painting and mourning and groaning and having a difficult time. Wavering faith. All of us have faith. When you say, well, if I just had his faith, I could get prayers answered.

Not necessarily. You don't need his faith. You have your own faith. And the way you build your faith is not looking at somebody else.

The way you build your faith is getting in the Word, looking at God, making your request, trusting him, and keep on looking to him regardless of the circumstances all about you, all right? The next reason, one of the reasons that we have prayers that are left unanswered is because we're stingy. Now, I hate to put it in those terms, but look, if you will, in Proverbs 21 for a moment.

And that's just the word he uses, so I figure if he uses it, that's good enough for us. First chapter 21 and verse 13, listen to what he says, who so stoppeth his ear, who so stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard. Think about that for a moment. Who so stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, when that man cries, the Bible says he'll not be heard. Now, think about this for a moment. We can't turn a deaf ear to someone who's in need because we don't have time, we don't want to be bothered or too selfish, and then we want to say, now, Lord, you know all that I need. Would you just pour out your blessings upon me? It won't work, friend.

Let me tell you something. When this fellow's in need, and the world is in need, and there is a need to be met, and you turn a deaf ear and say, I can't afford it, I don't want to do it, I don't believe in it, he says that when you cry, you're going to get brass heavens and iron earth. It's just going to ricochet from back and forth, but you're not going to get your prayer answered. Then he says the problem of an indifference to God's Word. Look if you will in Proverbs chapter 28, and this little verse right here may have slipped through somebody else's mind and heart, you may never have thought about this, that being indifferent to the Word of God, indifference, chapter 28 and verse 9 of that chapter, he says, he that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be an abomination. And if you don't know what an abomination is, you take your concordance and read the Old Testament, something that is an abomination to God is something God wants to do away with.

You know what he's saying? He says, my friend, God is not going to answer the prayers of people who live with a closed book. He says if we turn away from the book, God will not hear and answer our prayers. So that's why I believe that God's people ought to be in the book, and sometimes you're going to read things you don't understand, and sometimes you're going to be in such a big hurry, you say, what difference does it make? If I read it, I wouldn't understand it, or if I read it, I have to read it in such a big hurry that I just can't, I can't get anything out of it.

I'll tell you something I've learned. It's best to read it, even if you only have time for one verse. Even if it's just a little something to keep in touch with the Word of God, there's something supernatural about that. The seventh and last reason, the one that you probably would suspect above all the rest, that is, unconfessed sin. Unconfessed sin short circuits it. He says if I regard iniquity in my heart, he will not hear me.

That is, if I aim to do it. In Isaiah chapter 59, look there for just a moment, please, Isaiah 59. And I want you to notice how he states this. He says, the Lord's hand, verse one, is not shortened. Listen, the Lord's hand is not shortened, his ears are not heavy that he cannot hear. Your iniquities have separated between you and your God. Your sins have hid his face from you that he will not hear. Not that he cannot hear, he will not hear. If I have unconfessed, unrepented of sin, that I refuse to give up, listen, watch this.

If I've got something in my life that I'm not willing to give up, I want to show you something. God's not going to put a spiritual crowbar into your life and open it up. You know what he's going to do? He's just going to wait.

And you can pray and pray and pray and pray and pray, and God's still watching you. And as long as you've got it, he's not going to answer. What happens is he has to watch you voluntarily open your own heart and give him what you ought not have in your life in the first place in the moment you want to take that.

Open it up to him. What does he do? He takes that out of your life.

And what does he do? He always gives you something super great, much better than you had before. I want to ask you one last question quickly. What is there in your life worth more to you than a relationship with God who will provide you everything you'll ever need whenever you need it, the desires of your heart according to his will? What do you hold on to and you possess more valuable than that? Father, we take so many things for granted. We rationalize so many things.

We excuse so many things. When you've given us very clear indication in the Word that you love us more than any preacher could ever express, that you just love to answer our prayers, but you will not violate your own laws to give us something that will end up being a detriment to us if you give it to us when we're living in sin, I thank you this morning for loving us and for forgiving us of our sins and pray today in Jesus' name that each one of us may be honest enough to check out our prayer life by those two lists to see why is it when I pray the heavens seem to be like brass and the earth like iron and this I ask in Jesus' name and for his sake. Thank you for listening to Why Our Prayers Are Unanswered. If you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or In Touch Ministries, stop by intouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.