Be Careful Who You Listen To

Welcome to the In Touch Podcast with Charles Stanley for Wednesday, March 9th. Are you sure you're getting good advice? Learn to carefully evaluate any instruction you receive in today's podcast cautioning you to be careful who you listen to.

Be careful who you listen to. Because people have listened to ungodly and unwise counsels, some of them have found themselves deeply in moral bondage. Because others have refused to listen to godly counsel and chosen ungodly counsel, they have lost financially.

Others have lost their families. Oftentimes people choose the wrong vocation as a result of listening to the wrong kind of counsel. Sometimes people make decisions that they regret all the rest of their life because they listen to ungodly, unwise counsel.

It's very important what we listen to, who we listen to. It's very important we understand how to listen and be able to discern what is godly and what is ungodly counsel. Look, if you will, in Proverbs chapter twelve for a moment because there are two or three verses here I want you to notice that we're encouraged in spite of the fact that God hears and answers prayer. In spite of the fact that He encourages us to come to Him and to seek Him for direction, He also encourages us to seek godly wise counsel. The twelfth chapter of the Proverbs, the twenty-sixth verse, listen. The righteous is a guide to His neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

And so oftentimes we have the privilege of giving counsel and giving someone else instruction. Look in the thirteenth chapter and the tenth verse of Proverbs. He says, through presumption comes nothing but strife, but with those who receive counsel is wisdom.

The thirteenth chapter and the twentieth verse, look at that. He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companions of fools will suffer harm. And the fifteenth chapter and the twenty-second verse says, without consultation plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed. Even though you and I have the privilege of coming to the Lord and asking Him for direction for our life, He says oftentimes it is wise for us to seek godly counsel. Listen, not just any counsel, but godly counsel. Now, if I'm in a situation and I want to know the truth, I want to talk to somebody whose lifestyle, first of all, is such that I can trust.

I want to talk to somebody that I know is going to be absolutely honest with me whether I like it or not. And so what I'd like to do in these next few moments is I want to give you, I want to give you some ways that you can detect whether the counsel that you're hearing is godly or ungodly. And that does not mean, for example, that a person, that every single one of these will be true. But I want you to jot these down.

I think it'll be helpful to you. I just want to bring up some issues here that if you were talking to somebody about your family, about your vocation, about your schooling, if you're talking to somebody about your finances or some decision that you're making, how can you detect that what you're hearing is this godly counsel or ungodly? So I want you to think about these. First of all, one of the evidences of ungodly counsel is that there is little or no mention of God, the Bible or Jesus Christ. If you get in any situation where you're seeking wise counsel and the Word of God's not mentioned, Jesus isn't mentioned, the Bible's not mentioned, listen, the best thing you can do is get out of there. Because godly wise counsel is going to be wrapped up in the principles and the teachings of the Word of God. And so one of the evidences of it, no mention of God, the Bible or prayer. Second thing I'd mention is this, and that is there will be an absence of prayer, not just mention it, the absence of prayer. Now listen, here you are seeking wise, godly counsel and you talk and talk and talk and talk and nobody says, let's pray. Nobody says, why don't we ask God? Why don't we ask Him to give us direction at this moment as to what to do?

Here's what's happening. Oftentimes a person who is a counselor will not mention anything about prayer, nor will they pray. And the implication is, you know, I have the answer. I can answer your prayer. Listen, any wise counselor knows that prayer is a vital part. And if you can get a person talking to God and listening to Him, then you have moved a step forward in the whole counseling process. And I would simply say that if that person never attempts to pray, never ask you to pray, never leads you to pray, never talks to you about praying. I would find myself another counselor no matter who it is. A third thing that you can detect is this, and that is the subtle defense by the counselor of unscriptural actions.

Now, we could talk about immoral things that oftentimes as well. If so and so is doing this, then you ought to have your your fun and you ought to do this. And so I'm here to tell you little subtle and sometimes not so subtle suggestions that, you know, right the first time you hear them, there's something unscriptural about what they're saying. Well, if they did this to you, then this is what you ought to do back. There's nothing in the Bible about me taking out vengeance someone, someone, no matter what they do. Very subtly, oftentimes it is spoken.

A fourth thing is this. Sometimes you'll hear counsel that suggests that you violate the Word of God. Well, if that's what they did, then you ought to take them to court and just sue them for everything they've got. Does that sound like God? Does that sound like Jesus?

Well, I got to protect myself. Does that sound like the word of God? What about what Paul said when he said, well, go ahead and be defrauded?

Because the person who defrauds you, the person who abuses you, misuses you, they've already lost. And so when the person in their counsel counsels you that takes unscriptural action, you know, that's not Godly counsel. It may be what you want to do. It may be what you feel like doing. It may be that you're so angry at the moment you think that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Why would you do such thing? Well, I went to counsel and this is what they said. That's not the issue. The issue is that what God said.

If God didn't say it, get out of there, my friend. Listen, so many people have wrecked their lives, wrecked their marriages, wrecked their finances, wrecked their life morally because they listen to unwise, ungodly counsel. Likewise, I think one of the things that you have to ask is, do you sense that that person is little by little becoming controlling of you? Before long, they're telling you what to do, how to do it, who to talk to, who not talk to, what to say, what not to say before. Listen carefully, ungodly counselors, many of them. Listen, they will talk about controlling, controlling their patients, controlling the people that they are counseling.

Why? Because you see, an ungodly counsel, if they can get control, they've got them coming back over and over and over again. And what are they doing?

It is costing these people, costing them lots of money over a period of weeks or months and years and years and years. They go to the same counsel. And if I were counsel and somebody came to me for years, you know what I think? I think I'm an absolute failure. Listen, if I can't do them any more good, then they come to me four, five, ten, fifteen, twenty years and they're still coming to me for the same reason they came to me the first time. I'd count myself an absolute failure, take my shingle down and say I am absolutely unfit to be a counselor. I can't help you. Can't help you.

Why? Because they've been coming for years and years and years. You go to counsel for help and strength and you go to counsel in order to be healed emotionally or to help settle some decision in your life. And so when that person gets into some kind of real emotional trauma in their life, they need help, not just going over and over again, sitting down, listening to somebody while they absolutely control them. God never told us to control each other. We're not to control each other.

We love each other. We don't control one another. And when the person to whom you are sharing your life and trying to help you make a decision to become whole on the inside, little by little becomes a controlling factor in your life.

You need to break out of that. That is not godly counsel. Godly counsel does not control the person they're trying to help.

Well, something else that you can look at and detect whether it's godly or not. Look at the lifestyle of the counselor. Look at the lifestyle of the counselor.

This mechanism is what the shingle says. The issue is what kind of life are they living? I do not believe that a person who is godly in their counsel and who has a right relationship, a godly relationship with Jesus Christ, who's in the Word, listen, seeking counsel for themselves and direction of their life, growing their own spiritual life. How in the world could they counsel people all day long and never bring up God, Jesus or the Bible, when He is the heart and core of their life?

There's something desperately missing in a person's life. Be very, very careful when you find that kind of a situation existing. Then when you hear counsel that, listen, that attempts to help you escape your responsibility rather than face up to it, leave it. That is not godly counsel. Godly counsel is going to always point me to what is my responsibility, what is my share in this situation, what is my responsibility in these circumstances, not how to get out of it, not how to escape it.

Poor thing. You just get out. Just leave.

That is not godly counsel. And oftentimes people give counsel, well, this is what I would do if I were you and here's what I think. And, you know, you don't have that responsibility.

You just walk away. We, listen, all of us have responsibilities in our circumstances. I may not like what my responsibility is, but I have a responsibility. I may not like my circumstance, but I have a responsibility to be obedient to God in that circumstance no matter what. So when somebody counsels you to walk away from your responsibilities, my friends, you need to be very, very sensitive. Is this what God would say? Would God tell me to walk away from responsibility or would He not?

And certainly I don't believe He does. Sometimes you'll have a check in your spirit in what that person is saying and you don't know why. You can't say it's for this reason, that reason or the other, but somehow in your spirit, listen carefully, the Spirit of God will check your spirit. You'll hear something that you can't, you can't prove it's wrong. You can't argue with the person. You can't give them a scripture necessarily. You just know that something that person said, what I call it is, I call it spiritual static.

Something doesn't fit. Somehow it doesn't fit in your spirit. When you sense that, listen, don't argue with it.

Don't say, well, it's just probably my thinking. More than likely that's the Spirit of God sending you a warning that what you just heard isn't God to counsel. What you just heard doesn't fit God's ways and His plan for your life. And so when you have a check in your spirit, that is certain indication, watch out for that counsel. Then when a person would counsel you at any time to openly do something that you know is ungodly, you know it deep in your heart. You know that is not the Christian thing to do. That is not the scriptural thing to do.

I know it's not. Then my friends, you've heard ungodly counsel. And you see, once you hear any of these things, it's time to walk away because listen, if they will counsel you in an ungodly fashion or some ungodly conduct or some ungodly attitude in one aspect, how do I know they're not going to encourage me to do something in some other area?

And oftentimes it starts out very simply and very innocently. But as those sessions go on and as you keep going back to that person or talking with that person and sharing your life with them, if that's not godly counsel, somehow just one problem begins to add to another. And before long, sometimes when it's too late, you've heard a whole lot of ungodly counsel.

And the problems then become monumental because maybe you've made a decision that is absolutely disastrous decision in your life. Well, oftentimes the person will give counsel. Listen, give counsel, encouraging you to seek personal gain at someone else's expense.

Any time someone counsels you to do something that whereby you personally gain at someone else's expense, that's not godly counsel. And so oftentimes people in business have the idea, well, here's the situation. And I went I talked to so-and-so and he said, well, that's just good business. I'm here to tell you, you put good business in quotes. That's shrewd business. That's wise business. That's just good business.

That's just the way you make a profit. Listen, anytime anyone would counsel me to make a decision that would profit me at someone else's expense, I know that is ungodly counsel and the world is full of it, full of it. Make a profit at someone else's expense. That is, you don't worry about how it hurts someone else. If it's going to profit you, that's the thing that matters.

And when I hear people talk about the kind of counsel they have received and watch the kind of decisions that they've made and the kind of hurt and harm that has gone on as a result of that, ungodly counsel that takes no thought of someone else only to satisfy the desires of this person. Take advantage of the people, whatever is necessary, you do what is good for you. Listen, you know what is never good for me? Never good for you. It is never good for us to mistreat someone else. Never good for us to take advantage of someone else.

Never good for us to profit at someone else's expense. And yet that is oftentimes the kind of counsel that people receive. Likewise, when that counsel openly supports ungodly activities by other people, you better walk away. And oftentimes you'll hear that, well, you know so-and-so or this group or that group or whatever, and I don't think that's so bad.

Well, you know nobody's perfect. Listen, when someone supports ungodly, let's say ungodly lifestyle, when someone supports things that you and I know that openly are unscriptural, you need to walk away. Ungodly counsel. When a person is an ungodly counselor and they have their own problems or their hostility, their bitterness, their anger, their resentment, they grew up in that, they never dealt with their own. You know what they do? They will project upon the people they're counseling their own anger, hostility, and bitterness.

And here's what they'll do. That's when they encourage them to take advantage of, mistreat someone else under the guise of defending the person they're counseling. It is so subtle, so open, that a person has a discerning spirit, they can spot every single one of these things. Then, if that counselor says, well, in a very subtle fashion some way, well, you know, maybe you and I could, and what they do is they drop you just enough bait to say, well, maybe you and I could have fellowship.

You and I could have a relationship. Watch it. Because, friend, that is strictly straight from the devil. If you talk to someone and you share your heart with them because you're having a problem, and now they suddenly find themselves moving toward you, they don't, listen, they're not trying to help you. They are again, listen, their own selfishness is coming out. And this is why I'm saying to you that people who counsel and people who share and people who want to help other people, listen, you have to be very, very careful where are they coming from?

Where are they coming from? And I went to a particular hospital on one occasion to visit and talking with the counselors there. You know what I discovered? Every single counselor in that ministry came out of a horrible situation himself and herself and supposedly got themselves straightened out and now they're there to help other people. I don't doubt that that's true, but you know what? Unless that person is totally whole and totally healed, here's exactly what they do. They will project, they will interpret in someone else's life the same feelings that they had, the same circumstances that they go through. That's why you have to be very, very careful who you're listening to. Are you hearing me say amen? You have to be careful who you're listening to. Because oftentimes even the counselor does not even understand, they don't even realize what they're doing.

Well, then I would just say last and there are probably lots of other things I could say. My friend, if you're a believer, do not go to an unbeliever for counsel. I don't care who they are. I don't care what kind of shingle they have.

I don't care how many degrees they have. If that person is not a believer, do not go to an unbeliever seeking godly counsel. They don't know how to give it to you. We said in the very beginning, you don't mention the Bible, you don't mention Jesus, you don't mention God. How in the world are they going to give you godly counsel? If that, listen, how are you going to get godly counsel from someone who does not know the principles of Scripture? How does a person learn the principles of Scripture? Getting in the Word of God, interpreting the Scripture, watching how God operates. And so a godly counselor is going to be a person of the Book. A godly counselor is going to be a person who knows that apart from staying on their face before Almighty God, they will never be able to help someone and to help bring healing in that person's emotional traumas and difficulties and hardships in life.

They will not. Now, you and I may ask the question, and I began with this in the very start, in the very beginning of the message, because I wanted to make this emphasis here. What are the consequences of going to ungodly counsel?

Well, it should be pretty evident. First of all, you're going to make wrong decisions. Secondly, you're going to bring hurt and harm to yourself. You're going to bring hurt and harm to other people.

You could, listen, you could divide your family, divide your children. And my friend, it is absolutely impossible to listen to ungodly counsel over and over and over again without disaster happening in your own life. I cannot tell you how important it is to be careful who you listen to. Because wise counsel will develop you and guard you, strengthen you and enable you.

Ungodly counsel ultimately will destroy you. It is my prayer, my friend, that this Book become your guide. Jesus Christ become your Lord.

God the Father become your Father. And that you walk in the ways of the living God. And Father, how grateful we are that you did give us the Holy Spirit to enable us to be able to discern what is right, what is wrong, what is true, what is untrue.

When we are being deceived and when we are hearing the truth, I pray in Jesus' name that those who are listening will examine the counsel they're receiving, the opinions they hear, the advice that's so freely given and ask themselves this question, Is this godly counsel? Will this lead me closer to Christ? Will this lead me into a holy life? Will this lead me into a life of obedience? Will this lead me into a life of joy and peace and contentment? Will this strengthen my relationship to Christ?

Or will it do the very opposite? Father, grant to each of us a discerning spirit and the will to be obedient in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you for listening to Be Careful Who You Listen To. We would like to invite you to join us in celebrating 45 years of God's faithfulness. Stop by InTouch.org slash 45 years to learn more. This podcast is a presentation of InTouch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.