When We Are Abused - Part 1

Welcome to the fatcats maternal family for my name is January 17 behavior from others can leave deep scars Jesus Christ offers to be the source of our strength when we are abused. Here's hope for healing three times the night before the Lord Jesus Christ was crucified. He said this to his disciple. He said will all wallow Law one over law will and throughout the epistles.

We found the writers of the personal saying things like this accept one another care of one another comfort one another and encourage one another.

Forgive one another, be patient with one another, be hospitable toward one another. The subject of one another, serve one another all over the Scriptures, God is giving us instructions about our relationship to reach out and when you think about all that is said in just those phrases that are given love one another, serving one another, encouraging each other, stimulating one another. All of this make something very very clear. It is never under any circumstance. Justifiable to abuse someone else. Abuse doesn't fit who we are as believers is never the will of God for his children to be abused and the word simply means to harm someone to injure them in some fashion for that is safe, physical abuse, sexual abuse, whether it is verbal abuse or emotional abuse. It is a make a difference what it is. None of that fits into what Jesus said when he said love one another and so what I would like to do in this message is simply to share with you some things that are helpful. I hope the people who are being abused in every church all over this land and in every nation on the face of this earth. There are people by the millions and millions and millions who have been abused who are being abused, who have no earthly idea what to do and how to deal with that situation.

So in that 1314 1516 chapters of John. This is why Jesus said to his disciples love one another, and so instead of taking a pass subscription this message and expounding it. I want to give you some suggestions about how to deal this whole problem of abuse but I want to begin by distinguishing between abuse and discipline.

Now let me say this, that there a lot of people who have been abused and some people would term abuse different things. For example, if someone is just criticize. They say what you have abused me. I'm not talking about simple criticism, but I'm talking about that verbal or emotional abuse that is really damaging in a person's life. Now when we think about abuse and we think about how people respond to it. People respond to in all different ways and some people will live all of their lives and never even questioned whether they have been abused or not they will somehow wonder what's going on inside of them and never be able to identify what the root causes some people that there have been abused, but never have the courage to face up to it. People especially who is sexually abused early in life.

They covered up. They keep it covered because they're embarrassed, not realizing that when this happens it will come out somewhere the other and it will spew out on people around them. You cannot cover those kind of abuses and so when we think about the distinction between abuse and discipline. Let me just say that discipline is always directed toward a person because of their behavior always directed toward a specific behavior, whereas abuse has nothing to do with a person's behavior. It has to do with something on the inside of the abuser, like a volcano that comes spewing out his anger, hostility, fear, bitterness, resentment, whatever it might be that it's coming out what it does. It attaches itself. Response act reacts to the person that has nothing to that person's behavior is something on the inside of them.

It is a predisposition at that. Is there and just looking for an excuse to express itself on someone else.

Discipline always has the best behavior of the other person. My it has as its purpose to correct something that of the parent may know is not wise in the life of the child, whereas abuse is not concerned about someone's behavior or someone's best interest is getting something out that is on the inside. Discipline is rooted in law law for a person that desires the best for them, and therefore that discipline is exercising. So there's a great distinction between being abused and being discipline. What I would like to do is to share some suggestions with you of things that can be helpful to you who are abused and who have been abused. You may say what you know I never had an abuse wonderful that you are get on your knees and thank God that you grow up in a family where your mom and dad loves you, and took care of you and provided for you in sustained you encouraged your long and helped you in every way possible. You are just thank God and don't take them for granted. The other people who've been abused greatly. Horribly. When you think about parents who would take little children.

The problem of food and water will lock him in a closet.

Can you imagine children the being treated that way or being sexual abuse in ways that you and I cannot even begin to imagine husbands beating up on their wives, wives beating up on their husbands all kind of things that go on, and so that abuse can be emotional abuse listed just rejection. Rejection. Rejection is horrible. I emotional abuse and so is with verbal of the abuse someone who is always cursing and profaning and belittling and saying you never amount to anything. You never were anything you want wanted that you were an accident if you don't think that is abuse you check that mind of that child of that young person adult that takes been going on for years and years and years. I am nothing. I'm not worth anything. I was an accident. I was not wanted. And on and on and on it goes. It has devastating damage in the life of that person. So let me just begin by saying two things. Number one. I am sure that I don't have any earthly idea what abuse is like compared to most people. So I would not tell you anything about myself to say look how awful my background was but simply to say this I shared because I want to say to you that if I'm willing to share. You will be able and be willing to share. Maybe things that have hurt you in your past that you need to deal with and you just don't think you can tell in the body. Yes, you can become sharing it is part of the healing process. When I was about nine years of age. My mother married the second time, my father passed away when I was nine months of age and so she married a man that she thought would make me a good father and about two weeks into that marriage, she realized that something was really wrong. By the time I was a teenager and I had seen some things gone like my mother being choked and knowing that if I had had the privilege at the moment. No telling what I would've done to my stepfather if I could have that moment loading my gun at night and place it in the corner bedroom where I slept by the bed locking the door because I didn't always know what was going to happen. I know that may sound like will that doesn't sound very Christlike right you're right, but I was safe. When I was 12 years of age, but I was scared. The worst thing about leaving home to go to college was leaving my mother in a bad situation. I will not even describe all the things that went on, except to say this if you think that growing up in difficult circumstances that does not have an effect on you. You better think twice because you see all of us have a tape in our mind and that tape has on it. All the things that you and I began with from the time of our birth. Maybe even before birth and either we recognize that identify what's on the tape in deal with it or we suffer from it all the days of our life.

And thank God. Thank God for people in my life who have given me direction. Years passed to check out my own life in the be sure that I don't have any of that hostility and anger and bitterness, resentment left over from things that happened to me because I have dealt with but I sell that to say I know nothing about abuse compared to what so many people suffer here not on this country but I think about people who suffered such horrible horrible abuse in other nations of the world the way that governments have treated them and the way people have have hurt physically, sexually, spiritually, mentally and emotionally in ways that most of us will never begin to understand. So how do you respond all of these things let me say and I want to give you a number of things that you may just jot them down and you may not need them at all wonderful. I hope you don't. But I'll tell you one thing you delivered someone who does all you work around someone who does. You have a friend who does.

I guarantee you, you don't have to reach much further than arm's-length to find somebody around you who is suffering from abuse and does not know that. That's the problem.

Who will go through life unable to relate can never be satisfied walking out of situations, things don't get why did they run away. Whatever it might be, not realizing that all of that stuff and junk was there was given to them. Many years ago maybe not so many years ago and now they're having to deal with. So the first thing I will suggest is simply this, and that is as you think in terms of dealing with these things and how to deal with them number one to seek God's guidance, Lord, what would you have me to do… There is no pat answer as to what to do an abusive situation because all abuse is not the same. All of it is not motivated the same way and so to say to some I would just get out. That is not always the answer and some people would use that word abuse the day as an excuse to Ron or to escape we're talking about the kind of abuse that brings great injury and great hurt, and so here is a person. For example, who is physically being abused and that physically being inflicted and injured that the site of that person to stay within that situation. No or someone. For example, who is being emotionally abused.

You may say or they should just leave you can't say that everybody for the simple reason that's probably say you ask God what you want to remember this. Listen carefully, God will never tell you to do anything that violates the living word of God.

All of us are going to suffer from some things in life and just because I don't like my circumstances to decide that I'm gonna leave them is absolutely inexcusable in the eyes of God. That's why you cannot set everyone with his what I would do listen carefully.

Don't tell somebody what you would do. You don't know what you would do until you got in that situation and you are suffering. The way that person was suffering.

I think about these children. Small children who can't get out, who can't leave who like prisoners. The horrible parents who want to abuse them in and bid some kind of emotional hostility and anger and bitterness and resentment on their children. It is beyond my comprehension that people get so this tree a helpless child, so we say seek the Lord's guidance, he may say you stay right where you are and pray for the transformation that person. You pray for that person to be say you pray for God to change them. He will show you exactly what to do. Be very sure you have God's word of instruction as to what you should do in that situation. Secondly, pray for the abuser. Pray for the abuse you. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. Nothing is happened. Let me give you something specific to pray for. If I had known this when I was a kid growing up I would've known how to better respond to my stepfather but I did notice, and that is pray for God to show you what motivates that person to act the way they act. Why does that person abuse someone else while they tried to injure them well a lot of years went by and saw went to see my stepfather and they live. My mom was still there. Then they live together always did till he died. And so I went to seemed to ask him to forgive me for my wrong responses to him because I'm sure I responded wrongly and will serve on several occasions, it could've been a disaster and so I went to ask him to forgive me onset across the table at lunch and I said that I calling my name and I said I just need ask you to forgive me some for some things not made what he said are you shouldn't also notice let me finish. I never accused of anything. I just that I need ask you to forgive me for some things and then as we began to talk my stepfather told me about this. I wish I'd known this years ago. He said it, it just came out is not something he intended to tell me he said you know when I was a boy. He said I want to be a doctor and I told my father I want to go to college and be a doctor and he says he would let me go to college. He made me stay on the farm and work and he said I had to work on the farm. He would let me get off. He would let me go anywhere.

He just made me work every day ace until finally I just left. I just picked up my little stuff and I left what he was feeling told his father he spewed on me.

My mother, his brothers, his sisters and everybody else our friends people he worked with. He spewed all of that on now that's what happens when the poison of bitterness and resentment, hostility and anger is on the inside of you that you mark this down when a man is mistreated by his father or his mother, parents, unless he deals with that he's going to mistreat somebody else. Maybe his wife may be his children. And this is why there's so many people who are acting certain ways they don't know why they act the way that they can give you logical reasons for what they're doing, but deep down inside. It is something else. And so what happens is things that happen to is very early in life we are going to express them and so we will express them told the people that we love. We will hurt the very folks that we love and and or I won't know why we're doing it. Often times when you understand the motivation of the abuser something it happened and that's why said so important to pray for the person is abusing you because once that person begins to realize why they're being at what's motivating the person is abusing the then you can become more of a help to help the abuser. Though there are situations and circumstances without abuser man to be put away for someone who is absolutely a mentally incapable of dealing with reality. Let me say this.

If you refuse to deal with it.

You are going to hurt and destroy the people you love most. While you cover up what is happened in your past, you are destroying the people who are living in your present it happens everyday and brings great hurt and turmoil and that's why just to hold it down, push it down denied, refuse and sever happen on several been there is devastating to people who love you with all of their heart.

The third thing I would suggest is this, and that is not to blame God.

Do not blame God.

The one thing Satan located to say what God did. This is what God did. God wanted to correct my life in God were to get rid of sin in my life and so he caused the my parent or my son, my daughter to abuse me, listen to me carefully. God never under any circumstance ever instigates institutes initiates in any fashion any kind of abuse that is not of God that is totally opposite of everything God says. He says love one another and serve one another and encourage each other and build up another and careful another and comfort one another and be patient one another and submit to one another. That's totally opposite from abusing each other and so Satan would love for the person who is being abused to think God is doing this to me for a specific reason must be something in my life that God was the correct no God will take advantage and he will use that if we allow him to her advantage in our life to grow us up and matures, but he is never the cause he is never the instigator of any kind of abuse whatsoever. So him because he says that he knows us by name. He says the thief comes to kill and and to injure pieces lab come that you may have life and have it more abundantly. A loving father would never have anything to do with abuse of one of his children. That is not the purpose to plan the wheel. The desire or the method of God, thank you for listening to part one, and when we are at beans if you'd like to know more about child family are intense ministries entranced at OIG. This podcast is a presentation intact ministry in Atlanta, Georgia