Welcome to the InTouch podcast with Charles Stanley for Monday, July 21st. When life doesn't go as expected, it is easy to slip into disillusionment. In today's podcast, learn how to strengthen your faith and defeat discouragement. You find yourself struggling with disappointment and Difficulty and hardship, and trying to express what you're really feeling on the inside. And somehow you just feel that there's this cloud of discouragement that seems to hang over you no matter what you do.
If I should ask you, well, what do you think that discouragement's all about?
Some of you could say, Well, I think I know what it's about, but probably some of you would have to say, I don't know. I just feel discouraged. It's like a cloud that hovers over me. I can't identify what it is, I don't know why it's there. I don't know how to get rid of it.
I just feel like I'm trapped. If you don't know how to deal with disappointment, It can become the beginning of discouragement in your life. And once it does, Oftentimes it'll take you down a road. Yeah. Pain Disappointment.
after disappointment, after disappointment. And the kind of hurt and pain that those around you feel, the consequences of your unresolved conflict in this disappointment that you face.
So, I want you to turn, if you will, to the book of Nehemiah. in the Old Testament. And I want to give you a little background of what's happening, and we'll read just a couple of verses here. and help you understand Why? This man.
Who had all the reasons in the world. to face disappointments. And become discouraged by what he saw and what he heard, and yet there's not a single verse in this passage that indicates he was ever discouraged.
So the truth is, you and I can. suffer disappointments. We'll have moments of discouragement. But they should only be moments because if you and I know how to deal with them, they'll only be moments. They won't take us down that long road.
of disappointment and finally want to give up and quit in life.
So, beginning in this first chapter, here's what happens. The cupbearer of a king in a foreign country. And so his friends come to inform him about what's happening, and here's what they say. They said to him in verse 3 of chapter 1, The remnant there in the province who survived the captivity are in great distress and reproach. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down and its gates are burned with fire.
This was his response when he heard it.
So disappointed to hear what was happening. When I heard these words, I sat down and wept. And mourned for days, and I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven. Then he talks about the prayer that he prayed. Then, following this prayer of asking the Lord what he should do and how he should respond, He goes before the king to serve him, and the king said to him, Why this frown on your face?
So then he says, He prayed. And so, in the course of the conversation, he told the king why he was so. down and why he had such a bad look on his face. While he seemed appeared to be so depressed, he said, Here's what's happened to my people back in Jerusalem.
So the king said, Well, what can I do for you? He made his request to the king to give him time to go to Jerusalem, ask him for all the supplies he would need and protection on the way. And the scripture says when he arrived, he surveyed the city, the broken down walls and the burnt gates. Then he met with the officials of the city. And here's what he said to them in this second chapter.
In verse 17, Then I said to them, You see the bad situation we are in? That Jerusalem is desolate, its gates are burned by fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem so that we will no longer be a reproach. I told them how the hand of my God had been favorable to me. And also about the king's words which he had spoken to me.
Then they said, Let us arise and build.
So they put their hands to the good work.
Now they had some enemies in this next verse. The sand ballot. The Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard it. They mocked us and despised us and said, What is this thing you're doing? Are you rebelling against the king?
So I answered them and said to them, The God of heaven will give us success. And so, what I want us to do is, I want us to look at this passage of Scripture in the light and in this title, and that is, Defeating Discouragement. How do you defeat discouragement? And as we said before, and I want to say this several times, and I want you to remember this particular thing that I want to say at this very moment, and that is that disappointments are inevitable. They're going to happen.
Unavoidable and inescapable, but we're all going to be disappointed by people, circumstances, and things in life. Discouragement is a choice. Discouragement is a choice. I can either settle into that disappointment and become discouraged and down in the mouth. or I can look at it square on the face.
Acknowledge that it's there and do something about it in a way that protects us from becoming discouraged.
Now, let me just say this. I'm not saying to you that you'll always be able to face everything and never have any moments of discouragement. What I'm saying is this: they should be just that. Moments of discouragement. If you know who you are as a child of God, And you understand who God is and His love for you.
His commitment to you, His willingness to help you in every single possible way, then you can understand what it means to suffer disappointments, but at the same time not experience discouragement except momentarily. as you face the disappointment and respond in the wise fashion.
So let's look at this in the light of how do we defeat disappointments in our life because we're all going to face them and defeat discouragement. Let's understand, first of all, the difference between a disappointment and a discouragement. That is, disappointment is simply an emotional response to a failed expectation. That is, I get discouraged or I become disappointed when my expectation is not it it somebody doesn't measure up. What I expected to happen doesn't happen.
What I anticipated to be mine is not mine. And so it is an emotional response to a failed expectation, desire, a hope, a dream that we have. On the other hand, When we think in terms of discouragement, it's a lack of confidence. It's to become faint-hearted. And so we just oftentimes want to give up and quit.
And so you cannot avoid disappointments. You can avoid. Becoming discouraged and living in that state of discouragement like a fog or like a cloud that continually harasses you day after day.
So let's think about, for example, with Nehemiah and the Jews there. There were some very disappointing things going on. Their walls had been broken down, which meant that they were open to the enemies continuously, and they were harassing them. Not only that, the gates were burned, and so they couldn't lock them out, they couldn't keep them out. They were full of fear, living in this discouragement.
That's why these messengers went to see Nehemiah and told him what was happening. And the problem was, they were at each other's throat. Everywhere Nehemiah turned, he saw reasons to become discouraged, but he absolutely refused to allow it in his life.
So there were reasons for it. And he could have justified it. He could have said, Well, I came over here thinking I was going to build these walls, but you people are not all that excited about it, and you're so discouraged, you're down in the mouth, and so therefore he didn't do that. What did he do? He got the officials together, and the first thing he did was to challenge them, encourage them.
And that is, his encouraging attitude changed their attitude.
Now, I want to ask you a question. How many of you could be considered an encourager? are a discourager. When people walk away from you, have they been encouraged? Or have they been discouraged?
And you know what? It depends on where you are. If you are discouraged and down in the mouth and down in the dumps, More than likely, you're not going to be encouraging anyone else. But when you learn to face your disappointments and you learn to handle them, you know what? You're going to be an encourager.
No matter what kind of situation you face and who you face it with, there's something about being able to leave someone with a very encouraging word.
Now we said in the very beginning, you may not understand why you're discouraged. Or maybe you do.
So, I want to mention some things that somewhere along the way, one of these may strike you, and you may have to say, Well, you know what? To be honest, that is what. Has disappointed me, and that is the reason that I feel so discouraged in my life.
So let's look at several of them. One of them, for example, is this. You live with somebody. Whom you cannot please. No matter what you do, it's too much or too little, too early, too late.
It wasn't enough. It's the way you did it, the way you said it, what you failed to say, what you should have done. You can't please them no matter what's going on. And so you become very disappointed in that response, and you become very dissatisfied and very discouraged. And so you live in this discouragement because you can't please them.
Sometimes it's for example And many people are living this way, living not only in verbal abuse, but physical abuse. You don't know where to turn. You're very discouraged because you don't see any change taking place in that person's life. And so you become very discouraged.
Sometimes it's because God hasn't answered your prayer. You've prayed and prayed and prayed, and somehow God doesn't seem to be listening. You've read the Bible, you've confessed your sin, you've prayed, you've asked God to change your circumstances.
Somehow, either He hasn't or you don't understand how He's in the process of doing it, He's not doing it quite fast enough to suit you. And so, therefore, you become discouraged. Then, I think oftentimes a person will do their very best. the very best that they know how. And yet, They're considered A failure.
Here's a child who's told to do something. And they do it. They do the best they know how. but it doesn't measure up to their father or mother's expectation. And so oftentimes they're scolded and they're told, you should have done better, you could do better.
Maybe that child did the best he or she knew how to do. Listen. There's nothing more disappointing than and discouraging. to a child. than to hold a standard so high That child knows and understands he or she cannot reach that parental standard that is absolutely and oftentimes critical and beyond all human reason.
Oftentimes, a person becomes discouraged because they've allowed some habit in their life and they feel gripped by it. chained by it, imprisoned by it. They want out, but they don't know how to get out. And so they become discouraged and say, you know what? I just believe this is the way I am.
I don't think I could ever change, and so I might as well face it the best I can in life. And, you know, I can't ask God to help me because God certainly couldn't love anybody like me. He can never forgive me for all the things that I've done or what I am doing. And so a person can become very discouraged and start down the road. That disappointment.
and discouragement finally leads one to. And oftentimes people just check out of life. They hate themselves. They have a sense of low self-esteem. And so what happens?
They don't know how to deal with it. Nobody else seems to care, and so they just say, count me up.
Sometimes it's continuing financial pressure. Oftentimes, a person will feel financially pressured.
Sometimes it's because of bad decisions they make, or maybe some decision that someone else made. And the loss of income is because somebody else's decision, or maybe you look back and realize it was a wrong decision that you made. And so you become discouraged. You try hard. You don't seem to be getting anywhere.
You try a little harder, and somebody's critical of you. They're demanding this and demanding that. And you become discouraged. You think, you know, what's the use of trying? Nobody's going to understand.
Nobody's going to help me. Nobody cares. And you fall into that horrible rut of being discouraged. and believing that somehow you're just trapped. You're hooked.
That's the way life is. You've been dealt a dirty hand, and there's nothing you can do about it. That is not God. Listen to me. God doesn't deal dirty hands.
He is a loving Father who cares for you, wants the best for you, desires the best for you, has provided for the best for you. If you've made wrong decisions, God will forgive you. No matter what's going on, God knows how to get you out. of the rut and the grave of discouragement set you on a higher plane, on a higher level. But you must be willing to deal with the disappointment.
Unresolved disappointments, discouragement, heartache, pain, and we multiply our suffering.
Sometimes it's because we don't feel like anybody loves us. You say, you know, what's life all about? I must not be worth loving. I must not be worth knowing. Nobody seems to care about me.
Nobody seems to be concerned about My problems, my heartaches, my burdens. And what happens? If you feel like that no one loves you, No one cares about you. And you don't deal With that disappointment in your life, as you look at yourself and look at others. And more than likely, you're projecting on somebody else.
what you think may feel when it may be that your attitude and your spirit is such that you're driving them away. They may want to love you. They may want to show you that they care, but somehow you keep driving them away. Then it may be that you're having a bad health problem. And you know, you say, I've been to this doctor and that doctor and the other doctor.
I get the same message. Nobody seems to be able to help me. And you look at your life and you think, one of these days I'm just going to die and nobody cares and nobody seems to want to help when they may be doing the best they know how. Or it may be that you've heard news that you don't have long to live. And you say, well, that's enough to discourage anyone.
That's true. But you know what? Our Heavenly Father knows how. to deal with the worst news possible. He knows how to help you and to keep you from, listen, slipping down into the trough.
of discouragement. and giving up and quitting. And I know some wonderful saints of God who've been told just that. You don't have long. There's a radiance on their face.
There's a joy in their heart. There's this awesome sense of confidence in God, still serving the Lord God, knowing that any day the Lord could take them, and yet there's no discouragement. They're not giving up. They're not quitting. They're moving on and doing what the Lord God has called them to do.
You know why? Because they have learned how to deal. with disappointments in life.
Well It's interesting when you look at Nehemiah, what happens? Here's what happened. He heard the news and he acknowledged this is very disappointing. You know what the first thing he did following that? The Bible says he grieved in his spirit and grieved in his heart.
He went to the Father in prayer. He said he mourned for days. Listen, he was deeply hurt. over what happened, not to him but to his loved ones. His friends and family and heritage back in Jerusalem.
He began to cry out to God. Seeking God's direction. And so The father who heard his cry, arranged on a certain day for the king to recognize his countenance. The king gave him everything he asked for. When he went to survey the situation, the circumstance.
He found a group of men. They were discouraged. They were down. They'd been harassed. They were afraid.
They saw what was going on among them. Here's what he did. He encouraged them. He said, The Father, God has favored me. And we're going to rebuild these walls, we're going to rebuild these gates, and we're going to become the city of God that we used to be.
They said yes. What changed their mind? One strong voice of divine encouragement. This is why you and I must be encouragers. This is why you and I need encouragement.
Everybody needs encouragement. I think about how many pastors, for example. They go to churches where they find the pastor before them. Maybe a few people run the church, maybe a family or two. And no matter what this man does, he can't ever be perfect enough.
He can't ever preach it right. He either preaches too long or too short. He didn't visit everybody in the hospitals, he overlooked somebody. And so, no pastor in the world can live up to all the expectations that oftentimes people have of them. And so what happens?
He gets discouraged. And the next thing you know, you know what he's doing? He's looking for another church. Because he's tired of being criticized, tired of not being appreciated. Looks for another church.
He tells his friend, his friend recommends him, somebody else calls him. and he steps out of the will of God. Because you see, sometimes it's in those difficult situations that God moulds a man. and makes the man and deepens the man. and shapes the man.
That he wants him to be, and how does he do it? Heartache, pain, suffering. Unappreciated. Wronged in lots of ways. But he keeps standing and he keeps going because he knows whom he's serving.
And I want to say to you if you're a pastor, And you are very, very discouraged by the way people treat you. You don't feel like you're getting anywhere. You're preaching to the same crowd every Sunday. They don't seem to care. They don't really want to change.
They just want you to pacify them, make them feel good. Don't get too strong on sin. Especially do not name any sin, especially if you know it's theirs. And so They just want to be pacified and assured. They want you to meet their needs and run every time they call.
You just want to quit? And give up. and walk away. But my friend, don't do that. Don't quit.
Don't walk away. You look up and realize that your Heavenly Father knows exactly where you are. He knows exactly how they're treating you. He knows whether you're appreciated or not. But remember this.
God appreciates you. He loves you. No matter what they do to you, he loves you. And he's going to always love you. And he's going to always be there for you.
Don't let discouragement get you out of the will of God. Thank you for listening to today's podcast titled Defeating Discouragement. If you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or InTouch Ministries, stop by intouch.org. This podcast is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia.
