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August 25, 2020 1:02 am
Listen as June Hunt talks with a young woman who grew up in the glare of an unforgiving spotlight. There was a need to be perfect all the time. Discover God’s desire for everyone to understand His message of grace and know His truth.
There I trick upbringing what Averroes said it was last was what would happen when it was less than the best one we were there we were wrong for taking away our we were made study harder tomorrow: five. As we got older. How they felt about us souls like the scholars leave the glare of an unforgiving spotlight. Now she's reached out to the heart for biblical answers. The key message of your today is that God wants every person to experience his grace is a message you won't want to miss. Just a quick note this phone conversation was previously recorded and now here's June hunt and he tried so hard to be the perfect son the perfect daughter, and he tried to be the perfect friend the perfect mate he felt.
I have to be the perfect parent. Look at all those other parents and here's my son, my daughter what they do will reflect on me and I will look so inadequate. If they're not perfect I'm gonna be the perfect employee that works so hard I need to go beyond to prove that I was even worth hiring.
I need to be the best I can be discouraged see that I did and I did and then there was sans what I did wrong. I can't seem to enjoy it right because I know what could have been.
It didn't happen didn't come through I get compliments that they're not telling me what I really believe they are saying to themselves what she could've done, you could have, but they're not saying that the kids are just trying to be nice. The truth is, didn't do it perfectly.
It feels marred.
I know people trying to be nice if they complement me, but somehow I just can't receive it and Jesus was perfect. Doesn't the Bible say that we are to be Christlike means like Christ. That means if he's perfect, are to be perfect. The Bible says aim for perfection. Jesus said something that being perfect is your heavenly father's perfect, try, try, but it's just not working so impossible to defeat.
Sometimes it just makes me want to isolate and don't know what to do with me. I'm trying harder. I guess there's always something that's keeping me from doing it perfectly discouraged when you really have done your best, Enberg what others say. You know the truth wasn't perfect and it took the joy out of what will true. Jesus was perfect.
So how do we interpret Scripture just cannot touch on this because in order for us to have correct answers for these kinds of questions we need to have a correct understanding of what the Bible is actually saying in terms of perfection. There are two meanings for the word perfect.
It could be flawless without fault, thoughtless free from defect perfect beaver heard this expression will in a perfect world this is what would happen with that world does not exist here on earth.
If it were a perfect world and we would not need the perfect Savior that we have major imperfection.
That's why Jesus is our Savior that perfect world that exists yet one day there will be a perfect heaven. No sin of sorrow, but so if we look at these two meanings of the word perfect second meaning is mature and complete whole sin less pain needs to be to be mature and complete, and God provided all necessary for you to walk in a way that's right in his sight, how did he do that the Scripture that says it's Christ in you the hope of glory. Another 20 humble your heart to receive Jesus as Lord and Savior that changes everything. Now you have the power to do what you normally could not do, he came to die on the cross for our sins. He was born to die to be the sacrifice for our wrong choices so that if we would receive him as our Lord. The true Shepherd of our souls.
Now we can be led by him and the way that's right so that we can not be sinless because we've Artie sent but so that we can grow and grow, to walk in maturity and wholeness and completeness to complete the purpose for which God created us so when we read scripture we need to be discerning about what God is actually expecting of us is he expecting you never to make a mistake in any way in any area now we are to be whole holy his completely his. We can be whole and complete and in spite of our mistakes, we can finish the course for us to listen to a call from someone who was struggling about what I have are going well for me when there are vertical for life.I know that but I don't know how to change my feeling. Did you have a very strict upbringing and describe what it was like as a child in terms of the strictness they handed me the bed.
What ever we did everything needed to really be perfect.
I, if it was less than the best. There was nothing what would happen when it was less than the best one we were younger we were wrong for taking away our we were made study harder do more homework, but as I got older. How they felt about us when you say they does this mean your mother and your father. Sometimes there will be a perfectionistic father and other times I'll be around.
He worked confidently even now is aware of how we were right. Let's say you really displeased.
Your mother would.
She distanced herself with to be the silent treatment to our current wanted to go somewhere with Fran Baeza.
No, never knew what it was unpredictable very okay.
I grew up with a very unpredictable home life I would never know if my dad was going be upset or not. I used to say hope for the best but expect the worst. Is that something that you've ever said I was always on guard because I couldn't feel safe there was not consistency is at the case with you. Never knew how to react to the wrong pay for per week did you feel that she would be punishing you just come out of the blue I suffer so did you at times expect that things happen just for later. That's what was at home. What was her perspective when she was in her home growing up. Why would she say I expect bad things to happen because approval was inconsistent when she was growing okay so approval is huge in this area of perfectionism because that's what the drivers have to have approval. She's expecting bad things to happen and so her grounders. The unpredictability in this home life she's living with on resolved conflict over her past is not resolved.
Notice at the beginning, he said, why do I expect that things to happen.
That's what it was like when you were a little girl. He said I feel like God is punishing me even though I know he's not because you grew up in a home where there wasn't a predictable way to deal with. If your mother was concerned about something instead of sitting down and saying I want to talk with you about this is that this is why it's so vital to be able to talk through a problem, parent, child, but if you didn't have that your expectation in life is things are going to be the way they were when I was a child.
How do you now I feel like a really, really, from my mother, the firelight now have a daughter phone.
Don't let her control me anymore and I can't figure out how to get away from this with Jesus.
She's healed. She's healed Jesus free will of God.
She said I can't figure how to get away from this feeling with God. Why she has a distorted view of God, why did she have a distorted of God. She based her view of God based on what she saw in her mother and transferred to the person of God could that's what children do.
They are literalists they just hear the word Gothic and have to think of something who has the most power who has the most control who has the most authority in their lives. In this case dead, wasn't available. Mom later she had the most control. So who is God, what's he like like most powerful person who's mom who was erratic whose undependable.
She didn't know what to expect your listing the hope for the hearts with June Hunt that will hear more of this conversation just a minute. In addition to those broadcast you can discover how to get more tools to understand and overcome perfectionism when you go to our website. Hope for the heart.org right now. Let's go back to June. In this prerecorded conversation with this caller. The caller reached out because she felt like God was punishing her for not being perfect for a moment about perfectionism and perfection is expected and when lack of perfection is punished. You grow up feeling like I'm going to be punished because I'm not perfect. Does that make sense for you see the relationship in regard to you now. You grew up where lack of perfection is punished. Therefore when you say you feel like God is punishing me who's the only one who is perfect and is Jesus God. God is perfect in every way down father, son, God the Holy Spirit. Perfect if he's perfect I'm not perfect.
He is a right to punish me because I'm gonna fail.
Perfectionism puts a clock held over our existence.
You can be free if you gotta be perfect.
Because really mess up like waiting for the other shoe to drop her, waiting for the next fall.
Following your living with false guilt can be correct by determining what is false about this guiltier caring emotionally stuck in the past.
Okay the good part is emotional pain can heal a horrible thing.
I'm pregnant and so worried about the baby in what way are you worried about the baby.
But if it's thicker, what if I'm not taken the right thing for things out of my control.
God says you need a child with the other child is so healthy and perfect so I think maybe this one you're on the phone with her. What might he say now she's gone down this list of unpredictable things she doesn't know what could happen, but she is a healthy child. Here was she doing going on in her what on earth would you say to her and I have some suggestions here. I would think that she just needs reassurance does she receive forgiveness through Christ and the God of mercy, and the father of comfort.
Clearly she does not have peace, comfort.
They are talking about.
So that would be huge for her to feel and she's gone down this rabbit trail of all these what-ifs are gone about healthy child.
Here you think she thinks she's deserving of another healthy child is shaking her head no. DC the conflict within her. She's fighting battles that are even in existence right shoulder. Horrible eyes will. This is good to hear things are going so well, so there must be something horrible because that's what she was used.
Now it makes sense because of the unpredictability of your home life, you need to see the correlation if he ever had difficulty with the concept of being happy, happy laugh, it's because you're relating emotionally back when everything was unpredictable trying to be down on your mom, but we just need to be honest about your upbringing. You were not talked with to work through the problems. Instead, it was just punishment. What you're relating to sweetheart is the past you're relating emotionally to how you felt for years growing up. It's as natural as can be but I want you to identify with this.
The Bible says.
First Corinthians 13 verse 11 when I was a child, I thought like a child but now that I become an adult.
I put childish ways behind me evaluate my living life as though still in that home environment and I'm stuck emotionally. There, as opposed to in a home where my husband's encourager and he's positive because he knows that I like the bad. I don't know how to fix it. Okay what will six. He says he's an optimistic course so that kind of discounts what he would say she's call you on the phone. She needs to hear what knowing who she is in Christ she was with her mom okay so you're talking about now getting down to the truth about her, not how she was treated very different to be treated like trash. That doesn't mean you are trash. You can't help how you were raised, but you can help how you going to interpret life accurately when you know who your Lord's and the relationship with him fix it by telling yourself the truth. I understand your thoughts because that's what I used to think I don't operate anymore with hope for the best. Expect the worst. I thought that was the best way to live.
Do you see anything the Bible it says expect the worst.
Now I'm expecting the worst.
I'm going to be fear based.
The Bible says God did not give us a spirit of fear, we are conditioned to respond that way because of how your mom brought you up perfectionist's art hardest on themselves.
There's a big difference between aiming for excellence versus demanding perfection. It's fine for you to aim for excellence. It's fine to talk to your child site. Let's do this the best we can. But every child is different.
A child can be strong in athletics and the arts for academically typically not a plus plus in all three areas. Everyone is made by God differently all God wants is aim to be not the best person in comparison to everybody else. Just do your best. Even the apostle Paul said not that I have obtained all this, or had been made perfect press on to become Christlike maturity should be the aim, not perfection, that in the Bible it just say aim for perfection but the word perfection doesn't mean flawless if you were to get a Bible dictionary. It would explain that that Greek word means mature hole that's very different from flawless, not ever making a mistake that some don't have as your goal something that is unobtainable. God want you to aim more and more to be mature in Christ. That part makes sense if let's say a friend who didn't do something well are you real hard on that friend or do you have compassion for that friend come hard on him. I don't think that anybody can do everything I want you to have the same compassion toward yourself does not expect to be perfect on everything. Lord may learn from my mistakes. This is what Peter did.
Yes, he failed Christ didn't totally dismaying him. He just humbled himself before God and became the man God created him to be. I'm to send you material on perfectionism.
It will help you not to have that push push push push to perform. What do you do then what kind of message Howdy, become mature in Christ is to understand that maturity means I see myself through God's eyes, seeing yourself through God's eyes freeze people to be able to not see themselves through their parents size through the people who are excessively hard on them. Their eyes, you're free to be the person God created you to be to know your identity in Christ to know that he is someone who has the plan and purpose for you and that he is a God of compassion. The Bible says his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. He knows the mistakes we will make that. He also equips us to be the person he created us to be and, and, therefore, to do what he created us to do and we can be set free.
Jesus said the truth set you free.
So that's why it's critical that we have is truth in our minds because from the truth.
Listen to this change mind you have a changed heart and we have changed heart. You have a changed life. You're listening to June. Hope you're on hope for the heart, with the message that God can change minds, hearts and lives discover more of what God says about breaking free from the performance trap with the download of our quick reference guide on this topic, you'll find it out hope for the heart.org.
Let me also invite you to dig deeper into the causes of perfectionism and make a strategy for breaking free with our keys for living title perfectionism.
The performance trap. You can order a digital copy or the hard copy of the book at that same website. Hope for the heart.org or you can call 804 88. Hope they'll hear again is June the can be contributing factors that are held in place by wrong beliefs that you embraced over the years, maybe even since childhood.
These wrong beliefs can even put you in survival mode, but the low opinion of yourself can be overcome by replacing those wrong beliefs with right beliefs. Your self-worth is not based on how you see yourself or how others see you on how God sees you. You were created by him and in his image.
Ephesians 210 tells us we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared for us to do well is our prayer that you see yourself as God sees you and that you find freedom from the prison of perfectionism.
As I mentioned earlier are new keys for living series includes a helpful guide to overcoming perfectionism and you can find that out hope for the heart.org hope for the heart is here to help you discover what the Bible says about Hertz habits and the struggles of life and with all the social media video chats and other technology out there. There's just no reason for anyone to suffer alone. Here's more taking them off my hook and placing them onto God's hook. I did just this in my dried hardened heart was softened.
I cried to my father for mercy and forgiveness.
It was a cultivating experience a renewing of my mind. Enjoy. I had not experienced joy for years. Our mission this year and hope for the heart is to help millions on the Internet like Brenda understand how to believe, trust and apply God's truth through their life to do this, we have an urgent need to convert more than 100 print teaching materials into videos every day more than 13 billion videos are viewed people are right now surfing the Internet looking for answers, start your monthly gift of $30 or more today to support this. I hope video project and receive a copy of June's counseling through your Bible handbook makes this eternal firstname.lastname@example.org for the heart.org.
Thank you for sharing hope by responding to this need that website again is hope for the heart.org for June hunt punctual join you for daily access to biblical home and practical help and remember that there is hope. No matter the circumstance tomorrow so so join us for right here on