A Fathers Choice

Have your Bibles with you. Turn with me if you would to Matthew chapter 1. We're looking at verses 18 through 25.

Matthew chapter 1 verse 18. Just a moment ago, Rinda Torrance had a spell. They are taking care of her right now. I think it had to do with her sugar, but we'll just ask you to be in prayer right now. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, I do pray for Rinda right now as she has had a tough time this morning. We pray for those who are ministering to her that you would give them wisdom.

If this is related to her sugar, we would ask Father that you put your loving arms around her and help her to recover very quickly. Heavenly Father, I lift up our other sick to you this morning. I thank you for the progress that we've seen with Jeremy Carriker and Jim Belk, with John Key.

And Lord, after just a little over two weeks, Gerard Michaud is here with us today after major heart surgery and is doing well. Pray for Nicole Lowes as the doctors are checking out her heart. Pray for the men who are headed to Alaska this coming Thursday. Keep them strong. May they accomplish much for your kingdom.

Give them traveling mercies there and back. Pray for Vicki West who has really struggled physically this week and ask Father that you minister to her and help her. Heavenly Father, today is Father's Day. It is the day that we set aside each year to first glorify you and then to say thanks to our dads. Many of us here today have dads that have passed away and are in your very presence. I personally thank you for my dad who loved me and taught me, spanked me and pointed me to Jesus. I praise you, Lord, for that kind of dad. Today I've chosen for us to study Joseph, the man you chose to father your son and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that you will use Joseph's example to make us more like Jesus. I thank you for the fathers that we have at Grace. Give us all toughness and tenderness. Help us to prioritize fathering and to do it to your glory for it is in the precious and holy name of Jesus that we pray. Amen.

You may be seated. In my opinion, Joseph is one of the most overlooked characters in the Scriptures. He is often presented as being kind of a background character where Mary is very powerfully portrayed. The shepherds are highly touted. The wise men are made much of.

Even the innkeeper is high profile. But Joseph is so often not seen in the limelight. He's kind of off in the shadows and he's kind of looked as one that's supposed to be there to make things a little easier for Mary. Well, I don't buy that.

I disagree. I believe that God has much to teach us about true fatherhood through the life of Joseph. Of all the men on the face of the earth, God the Father chose Joseph to be the one who would be trained or who would train and nurture his only begotten son. I think God could have chosen. He could have chosen a religious professional, a priest or a rabbi, a scribe. He could have chosen an arrogant politician, a regent or a king. He could have chosen a very wealthy man who could have given Jesus all the material things that he wanted.

He didn't. God chose a very simple, hardworking, God-fearing carpenter. We know he wasn't rich because when they took Jesus for circumcision, they gave the poor man offering which was turtled of. Now, Joseph was not a theological scholar.

He was not an arrogant politician and he wasn't rich. God chose this man. Why? To be the earthly father of the Messiah.

Why? I believe the key to understand God's choice of Joseph is wrapped up in one word and that word is love. When I think of Joseph, I think of tenderhearted, compassionate love. And I want to share with you today three of the objects of Joseph's love. First of all, I want us to look at the fact that Joseph loved his wife.

He loved his wife. Look at verses 18 through 19 again. Now, the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph before they came together, she was found to be a child from the Holy Spirit.

And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. Mary was betrothed to Joseph. Now, the marriage process back in Jesus's day was much, much different than it is today. A man would be engaged, then he and his wife would go through a one-year betrothal period. And during that period, they would get to know each other. But they would not be actually brought together and were able to consummate their marriage until after the marriage ceremony over a year later. Folks, the betrothal time was a time of communication and preparation.

It was a time when the young couple talked and planned and got emotionally prepared to be husband and wife. But intimacy was forbidden during that time of betrothal. And it could not take place until after the wedding ceremony was done. When a Jewish woman was betrothed to a man, she was considered to be legally married.

And if there was a decision during the betrothal period that they had decided not to go on to the wedding ceremony, then they would have to go through a legal divorce. During the betrothal time, the young lady would live with her mom and dad, live with her parents, but she was still considered to be legally married. Now, that's the situation that Joseph and Mary are in. And when Mary—this was the time when Mary received the announcement from the angel that she was going to conceive by the Holy Spirit, and she was going to give birth to the Son of God. How old was Mary at this time? Most Bible scholars think probably around 14, maybe 15 years old.

That was a time when most girls that were living in farm areas or smaller towns would get married. Now, I think it's hard to really appreciate what Joseph went through unless you really ponder the situation. Joseph is a man who has fallen deeply in love with his wife-to-be. He believes that she is beautiful. He believes that she loves him. He knows that he loves her, and he knows that she also shares the same conviction spiritually that he does. She loves Jehovah. Before Cindy and I were married, someone said to me, Doug, how do you know she's the right one? And why are you convinced that she should be your wife?

And I said, well, I know that I love her. I believe that she loves me, but I know this, she loves Jesus more than she loves me. And I think Joseph was thinking and understanding the same thing about Mary, that she would put the Lord above everything else. Mary was one who loves to sing praises to Jehovah. This happened often with Mary. And then when the angel came and announced to her that she would give birth to the Son of God, she broke out in a song that we call Mary's Song. And in that song, there are a lot of words that were spoken by Hannah from 1 Samuel chapter 1. And then there were other scriptures that were used in that song from at least six other Old Testament scriptures.

Mary loved the Lord, and she loved God's Word. And Joseph has been working during this time on his new house, getting this thing framed up, getting everything ready. He's been building furniture. And in his mind, he's been kind of contemplating about how things would be and what things would be like. And he thinks of little children, his little children, running around in the front of their house, maybe Mary stepping out, looking out with loving eyes toward him and toward her. He thinks about what it would be like to sit by the fireside at night and pray together and teach his children and Mary the Word of God.

What could go wrong? His dream is just about to come true. It's about to become reality, but then Mary comes by the carpenter shop. And she walks in, and she's got this deep look of consternation on her face. And she said, Joseph, we need to talk. He says, sure. And he puts down his saw. He takes her by the hand, and they start to walk out of the carpenter shop. They walk through the streets of Nazareth together. He sees people, friends that they have. He waves at everybody.

They're going back down to the shore of the Sea of Galilee, probably a little place where they've talked many times before. He's so proud of this girl. He loves her to death. Finally, they sit down. Mary is quiet for a moment. She tries to get her thoughts together. And then she says to Joseph, Joseph, do you trust me? Joseph said, yes, I trust you. She said, Joseph, do you know that I really love you? And he says, yes, I know that you love me.

And then she says, I need to tell you something. Last night, the angel Gabriel came to me and told me that I was going to conceive by the Holy Spirit, that I was going to give birth to the Son of God. Joseph, I have never known a man.

I have never known a man. And I want you to know that I love you. But this baby within me, this baby has a father, and that father is the most high God.

Wow. Mary wonders what Joseph will do. Joseph's a godly man. He's a very simple man. He's a carpenter. He works hard. He's got a lot of common sense.

He knows a lot about what the world is like and what's going on out there. And I wonder what went through his mind at this time. Let me share with you four quick things that I think he thought about. Number one, he says, wow, Mary is telling me this story because she's afraid to tell me the truth.

And this story is a story that relieves her of all the blame. I can imagine he got a little angry with that. Then maybe secondly, he thinks he feels jealousy. He says, somebody did this to my wife. He said, why in the world would she give in to a man because maybe he's manly looking, maybe he is enticing, maybe he's attractive. Why would she do that?

Why would she throw away her reputation and throw away my love for her just to please her own flesh and to enjoy somebody else for a short period of time? Thirdly, he thinks of himself. His dreams are all being shattered right before his eyes. He's got dreams of having a family, of teaching his children the Word of God, of praying with his kids, of loving on his wife.

And now all of a sudden, all that's going right down the drain. And then fourthly, he thinks, hey, maybe this is true. Maybe Mary is telling me the truth. It seems kind of strange.

It's never happened before. But maybe she's telling me the truth. Mary is sitting there.

Tears are rolling down her cheeks. And she said, Joseph, do you believe me? And Joseph says, I need some time to think. He takes that time and he comes to a conclusion and that conclusion is that he must grant Mary a divorce.

Now, perhaps that doesn't sound very loving to you. But remember, Joseph is a man of God. The great desire of his heart is that he have a godly family. The great desire of his heart is that he might have a wife that he can trust and children that he can love on and teach the Word of God to.

That's what he wants. He can't be married to someone he can't trust. What if she's unfaithful?

And what if it happens again and again? He can't live with that kind of heartbreak. And how can he raise children in an environment like that?

That's certainly not conducive to a good situation for children to be reared in. He doesn't want a divorce. In light of what's happening here, he feels that he really has no choice.

And so this is the most godly option that he can give. He also knows what's going on in town. He knows that this is Nazareth.

It's a little town, a lot of gossip. And he knows that people are going to be looking at Mary and pointing at her and saying, oh, I can't believe she did this. She shouldn't have done this. I thought she was a moral person. And boy, we've come to find out she really wasn't.

And then maybe they're going to be pointing to him. Oh, I can't believe what Joseph did. We've always believed Joseph to be a very godly man. And look at this horrible thing that's taken place. So Joseph considers the option. The law states that adultery is a capital offense. So if he turns her over and brings charges against her, they can take her out and they can stone her to death. If they stone her to death, then he's off the hook. Everybody will look at him and know that he was pure, that her life will be taken. But the thought of Mary's precious life being snuffed out, the woman that he adores, the woman he loves so much, he can't stand it. So he said, I'll give her a bill of divorcement and I'll save her the embarrassment and I'll spare her life.

Folks, you know what that is? That's sacrificial love. He thought to himself, she doesn't really love me or she wouldn't let this happen, but I still care about her. I still adore her.

And I wouldn't want to see her die for anything. Joseph loved Mary. He adored her.

He cherished her. And God wanted Joseph to nurture and train his only begotten son. The Messiah would be placed into a home where there was going to be a mom and a dad who were godly and loved the Lord. And Jesus would look up at his mom and dad. He would see that they had eyes for each other, that they cared for each other, and that would be very evident to Jesus.

This would be a situation where if they were walking downtown and some idiot came up and mocked Mary because Jesus, saying Jesus was illegitimate, Joseph would not allow that to take place. Jesus would see that kind of thing happen over and over again. Jesus would watch his mom and dad. He'd watch them pray together. He would watch them cry together over tragedies that would take place in their life.

And he would also watch them care for each other. Jesus saw that his dad was different. Other married men would stand on the corner in there in Nazareth, and they would look at the women with lust in their eyes as they went by. Not Joseph. Joseph had eyes only for Mary. Because I believe that when Jesus saw his mom and dad, I believe he had a glorious example of a very godly marriage. So first, Joseph loved his wife. But secondly, Joseph loved the baby Jesus. Look at verse 20 through 23. Considering these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son. You shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son.

They shall call his name Emmanuel, which means God with us. Now picture this scene in your mind. Joseph has gone home. He's trying to sleep. He's tossing back and forth in his bed. He can't sleep. Finally he gets so tired that he falls to sleep. And when he does fall to sleep, he is given a dream. And in this dream, the angel comes to him, and the angel says to him, do not be afraid to marry Mary.

What she has told you is absolutely truth. She is conceived by the Holy Spirit, and the baby that she will have will be the son of the living God. Joseph, you have been called by God to be the earthly father, to train and to help mature this son, who is actually the son of God. I can picture Joseph on the night of Jesus' birth from everything that we know of.

There was not a midwife there. They were in the stable. And I can imagine Joseph helping with the delivery. And Joseph helps deliver that baby, and then he takes Jesus and cleans him up. And then he takes him, and he holds him to his chest. And he starts praising the Lord with all of his heart, shouting. And I can imagine the animals in the manger, in the stable.

And what are they doing? The animals just all turn around, and they look at Joseph, and they know that he's excited, for he's just crying out, Praise you, Lord. Praise your holy name.

Oh, Lord, you do all things well. I can picture him hugging Jesus to his chest, kissing Mary, and stopping everybody that would come by the stable, and saying, Look what the Lord God Almighty has done for us. Look what we have.

Look at this baby. Look what Jehovah God has done. I also have to believe that Joseph was the kind of dad who played with his little boy. When I think of this, I think of Sam Grubb. I love to watch Sam Grubb play with Levi.

Kind of pick him up, throw him up a little bit. And I have to believe that Joseph probably did the same thing. You know, Joseph was a carpenter. He spent his days sawing boards and taking a hammer and swinging that hammer.

He's strong as an ox. So I'll guarantee you, him and Jesus played some rigorous games. Probably had foot races together.

Probably did push-up competitions together. Probably took Jesus off to play hide and seek. Jesus would fall and scrape his knee, pick him up, and he'd fix his knee up and hug him. And at night, they'd get together, and they would pray together. And he would teach him the Scripture, read the Scripture together. I think one of the hardest things to understand about the incarnation of Jesus is the idea of revelation.

We know that Jesus was fully God and fully man, and that means that if he was fully God, he was sinless, that he never sinned. But yet, I think it's interesting that we need to also see that when he was lying in that manger, and even later in life, when he was lying in his bed, he didn't have the ability to teach at that point in time. He didn't have the ability to quote Scripture at that time when he was a little baby.

Where'd that come from? Luke chapter 2, verse 52, when Jesus went to his, what we would call a bar mitzvah. The family was ready to go, and they left, and they didn't know he wasn't with them. And so they went on, and Jesus was back in Jerusalem, and they had to turn right around, Mary and Joseph did, and come back and get him.

When they came back to get him, they found him there, and he was there, and what was he doing? He was asking questions to the religious leaders, and he was actually teaching them. The Scripture says this, that Jesus increased in wisdom and stature with both God and man. So if he increased in wisdom, that means that as a human being, Jesus learned. In Hebrews chapter 5 and verse 8, the Scripture says that though he was a son, yet he learned obedience by the things which he suffered. If Jesus learned, then somebody had to teach him, didn't they? Who taught him? One of the people I think that taught him mostly was Joseph.

I know I have to be careful here. All Joseph could do was get the Word of God into his mind. It was the Holy Spirit of God that illumined him. Joseph got the Word of God into his mind, but the Holy Spirit gave him perfect illumination that he would perfectly understand the Word of God.

These lessons were not just learning. Joseph was a carpenter, and Jesus learned the trade from Joseph. Jesus was taught to work hard. He had a strong work ethic. He was taught to be a servant, to put others above himself.

Those real-life practical things were a tremendously important part of Jesus' learning, and we can see it in Jesus' teaching, can't we? For in his teaching, we see not only the teaching of words, but teaching from life. What did he teach on? He taught about things that people understood. He taught about a farmer going out and sowing his seed.

He taught about a mustard seed and how that mustard seed would grow. He talked about a little lamb that strayed away from the flock, things that these people could grasp that they could understand. Notice in verse 20 that the angel addresses Joseph as the son of David. It's another sign of Joseph's love here, isn't it? Other than the tender compassion that Joseph had for Jesus, he also had a commitment side of love. Joseph was absolutely committed to prepare his son for his calling. People, there's enough theology in the angel's words to Joseph that you could have a whole library full of books about what all this meant and what all was said. The angel leaves no doubt in Joseph's mind about who Jesus really is and about the responsibility he has in helping him to grow up to be the Messiah. Notice in verse 20 again that the angel addresses Joseph as the son of David.

Now, that is not done by accident. David came from the tribe of Judah. Judah was a kingly tribe. Joseph came from the tribe of Judah. Mary, according to the Gospel of Luke, came from the tribe of Judah. So Jesus came from the tribe of Judah legally through his dad and biologically through his mother, Mary. Everybody in Israel knew that Judah was a kingly tribe, that the Messiah would have to come through the tribe of Judah. They also knew that the Messiah would have to be a descendant of David and that the Messiah would sit on the throne of David. So when the angel addresses Joseph as a son of David, he's making a statement about who Jesus is. He is saying, make no mistake about it, Jesus is the Messiah. The second thing that Joseph learns is that the baby has a name and he's named Jesus.

That word means Jehovah Yasha. The Lord saves, the Scripture says, for he will save his people from their sins. Now, you know, we get kind of caught up in the mushy sentimentalism of Christmas, don't we? We think about the family and sharing and giving and this sort of thing. Nothing wrong with that as long as we understand that for us, one of the purposes of Christmas should be for us to point the world that is in desperate need of salvation to their only hope, which is Jesus Christ. The truth of the matter is this, Christmas means that Jesus came to save his people. Who are his people? Those who would trust in him, those who would repent, those who would submit their life to his lordship. That's who his people are and how important that is. Jesus came to save us, he came to be our Savior.

But for the Christ-rejecting world, he came not as a Savior, he came as a judge. The third thing the angel says to Joseph is this, Jesus is the fulfillment of Isaiah's prophecy that was given 750 years before Jesus was even born, that the virgins shall conceive and bear a son and you shall call his name Immanuel, that means God with us. Liberal theologians love to go to this verse, Isaiah 7.14, and they love to point to the word for virgin in the Hebrew, it's the word Alma, and they say, well Alma can mean virgin but it also can mean just young maiden. Well, they use that to attack the virgin birth.

I want you to know the liberals theory has holes all in it. So the word Alma that's used there in Isaiah 7.14 is used many other places in the Scripture and it's never used to describe anyone, any lady who is not a virgin. And then also when the angel came to give the message to Joseph, the angel said, and the virgin shall conceive and bear a son and you shall call his name Immanuel.

The word for virgin in the Greek is a word parthenos and it means virgin and only virgin. So folks, here is Scripture giving us clarification on what other Scripture means. So the Old Testament is not quite as clear, but the New Testament clears it up completely. There's no doubt about what Isaiah meant, he meant that the virgin would conceive.

Why does that matter so much? Because if Jesus wasn't born of a virgin, he was born of an earthly father. If he was born of an earthly father, then he wasn't God. If he wasn't God, he could not be sinless.

And folks, if he wasn't sinless, he could not pay our sin debt. What does it matter whether Jesus was virgin born or not? It matters this much. It matters so much that we have to understand if Jesus was not born of a virgin, then we are all headed to an eternal hell.

It's that important. Joseph closes his eyes and Joseph prays, Lord, why you chose me for this task of raising your son, I don't know, but I know this, I can't do it without you. I want you to help me, help me so that Jesus will know that I love him and I love him with all my heart. Alright, point three is he loved God. Look at verse 24 through 25.

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to his son, and he called his name Jesus. John 14, 15, Jesus said, if you love me, then keep my commandments. True love of God is not just an emotional gush.

It is wrapped up in obedience. Jesus said, if you really love me, then you will do what I tell you to do, and boy, how evident that is in this story here. For what does he do after he's had that dream? He jumps right up and he runs to go see Mary.

I can imagine Mary at the house, and she's there looking, and she sees Joseph coming down the road. She probably thinks he's got a bill of divorcement in his hand. He's getting ready to divorce me, and then she watches, and she sees his expression as Joseph is running down the road, and it's not a sad expression, and it's not a broken expression. It's a joyful expression, and he gets up closer, and he runs to her, and he takes his arms and throws around her and gives her a hug and says, Mary, I love you, and I'm sorry for doubting you. He said, the angel told me that everything that you said to me is true, so Mary, we're going to get married right now. In other words, he broke off the betrothal period, the timing of it, and he said, we're not waiting on that. We're getting married right now. Now, Joseph is a man, and one of the things that men look forward to is their honeymoon, but Joseph says, no, there'll be no honeymoon, there will be no intimacy whatsoever until after the baby is born.

Why? Because he loves God more than he loves his own privileges, more than he loves his own pleasure. She takes off all the responsibility, takes it all, of being a husband, but he gives up all the privileges. I tell you, look at so many husbands today, and they want the exact opposite.

They want all the privileges of marriage, but not much of the responsibility. Joseph is an example to us folks. The Savior was born where?

In a stable in Bethlehem. Mary had never known a man, and the Lord was glorified through the unquestioned obedience of a carpenter. Today, we've got an example to follow, guys, and that example is Joseph. Who were the objects of his love?

His wife, his son, and God. You want an example of how to be a godly dad? Here it is right here, the example of Joseph. We couldn't find a better one.

Let's pray. Father, thank you for the biblical example of Joseph. He was a great dad for your son and our Lord. He wasn't rich. He wasn't popular. He wasn't a scholar. He wasn't a politician. He was a carpenter. He didn't live in a mansion. He didn't have servants. He didn't have a library of books, but he loved you, and he loved the son that you gave him, and he reared Jesus for your glory. Help us to be that kind of dad, for it's in Jesus' holy and precious name that we pray. Amen.