Let me give you something you need to know. The first half of your life, women, you make an investment, the dividends of which you will reap the second half. It flips over. This woman would raise her children, and when her children were old enough to be on their own, they would spend the rest of their life blessing the woman who gave her life to them. That's God's design. Welcome to Grace to You with John MacArthur.
I'm your host, Phil Johnson. Today's culture encourages women to aspire to leadership, perhaps in a business setting or in the academic world. But what happens when pursuing that goal removes a wife and mother from where her giftedness is most needed and best used in the home? Can a woman work outside the home and please God? What if she has the energy to manage her home and care for her kids and take an outside job? What if her outside work is ministry-oriented, maybe serving her local church? Today on Grace to You, John MacArthur will give you principles for discovering God's design for a successful woman. Get practical answers that you need, and if you're a husband or a husband-to-be, you need to hear John's message as well.
So follow along in Proverbs chapter 31. To depreciate the role of a homemaker is pretty foolish. The breadth of the role of homemaker is amazing. To be able to be an economist, a steward of funds and resources, to be able to analyze all the products available, to be strong enough and well-planned enough to make the right moves at the right time to acquire the right things, to be fully a wife to your husband and a tender and loving mother to all of your children, to apportion all the responsibilities to everybody who was a part of the labor force, that takes some woman. People say, well, you know, women have administrative skills. Why should they get locked up in a house?
They don't understand. It can be the fullest and most wonderful expression of womanhood. Verse 16 takes us even further into the enterprising woman. She considers a field and buys it from her earnings. She plants a vineyard.
There's a field perhaps adjacent to the property that the family owns. She feels it's at a right price and would be beneficial to the family. She buys it.
There's a certain amount of independence in that. It doesn't say her husband bought it. She bought it. She made the decision that it was wise. She pursued that option. You say, well, now wait a minute, she bought it and she also from her earnings bought it and planted a vineyard in it.
That's right. Well, where did she get the money? Did she have a job on the side?
Look at verse 24. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies belts or girdles, cloth, cumberbuns that were used to wrap up the robes worn by folks in those days. And she sold them to the tradesmen. The word tradesmen literally is Canaanites, i.e.
the Phoenicians, the sailors of the ancient world who carried the goods all around. She had a little cottage industry going. She made things with her hands, made a little money.
She never let that extra money get into the operational cash flow. She kept it set apart and when she saw a judicious moment to purchase a field to the benefit of the family, she purchased it, planted the vineyard. She did that on her own. Wise steward, careful money manager, good analyst.
This is some woman, some woman. She makes wise investments to assist her husband. She labors in the home to help. She takes the money that she has earned on her own making those things and invests that in a long-term investment for the benefit of her family and her children and her grandchildren.
She buys land and plants the vineyard. Wise woman. Verse 17 says, she girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. The first statement, she girds herself with strength, expresses the energy or the force of this woman of force.
It could be translated strength is wrapped around her. She's a strong woman, strongly disciplined, strong in terms of commitment to the family, strong in love to her husband. I mean, she's a strong woman. And then even her arms are strong, not because she goes to the gym. Her arms are strong because of the effort exerted in the daily tasks. Her strength is a result of effort. Her strength is a result of becoming a blessing to her family, totally selfless. This is what comes pouring through this passage, her humility, her selflessness, her love, the joy and delight of everything she does because she's lost in the love of her household. And verse 18 says, she senses that her gain is good. In other words, when she gets the field and she plants the vineyard and the family prospers, she senses that it's good.
In other words, as the Septuagint says, she makes a good profit. She sees that it's good for the family. She sees that it's beneficial. It has welfare provision for them.
It's for their well-being. And so that motivates her. She's motivated by benefiting others. This is the woman of God's design.
She is not motivated by self-fulfillment, self-esteem, self-glory, self-adulation. She is totally motivated by seeing others benefited. That's the godly woman. Spurned on, not by ego, but by the fact that she sees what she does, bringing good to others. So as a result, verse 18 says, her lamp does not go out at night. She is so fulfilled in the benefit that's coming to others that it spurs her to work harder and harder and harder. What a woman.
What a woman. And verse 19 says, in those nights, perhaps when the lamp didn't go out, she stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hands grasp the spindle. Elements of spinning, the distaff and the spindle, turning the wool and the flax into thread, and then taking the thread and turning it into cloth, then taking the cloth and cutting it into pattern, then sewing it into garments to clothe the family. Spinning the wool, spinning the flax, making the scarlet, making the linen, making the purple garments, and all of it for someone else to be blessed and encouraged.
Verse 21 follows then, skipping over verse 20 for a moment. She's not afraid of the snow for her household. Did you know it snows in Jerusalem, maybe three out of five years? It snows there. And even when it doesn't snow in the winter, it can be very, very cold because it's so high. Read 2 Samuel 23 around verse 20, it talks about the snow.
But she's planned for that. You know, they didn't have heaters in their homes. The way they heated a room was with a pan of hot coals. They would take that pan of hot coals and sit it on the floor, and then they would huddle together in the warmth of the blankets. But they needed not only warm blankets for sleep, but warm garments because it was cold sometimes during the day.
Often that cold season could last a long time. But she had no fear for that. She wasn't afraid of the snow for her household.
Look at this. For all her household are clothed with scarlet. Why doesn't it say they were clothed with wool?
Well, we assume it was wool because that's the thing that would keep them warm. The scarlet is added to show you that this woman has a touch of class. Normally the wool wouldn't need to be colored or dyed, but she dyed it. She dyed it deep red in color because that was the color of elegance still is. Because it was beautiful. It was still dark, and dark clothes tend to keep the heat in better. But it was scarlet because there was something more beautiful, more dignified in the warmth and the beauty of that color. So she made them not just functional, but she made them lovely as well. And she planned far enough ahead so that she didn't worry at all when the cold came because everything was ready. Remarkable woman.
Verse 22 adds something. She makes coverings for herself. Now what that literally means is coverlets, pillows, mattresses, bedding. She made bedding. Now remember she has to make all this. She adorned all their beds with comfort and beauty, providing for them the comfort that they would enjoy.
And again behind the scene is this love, this devotion, this unselfishness, this humility that is at the heart of the excellent wife. You say, yeah, but I mean this woman is up all night. This woman has taken trips all over the place to get stuff.
She is working her head off, planting a vineyard. I mean I'll bet she is a tacky looking gal. I mean I'm sure she goes around in a terry cloth bathrobe with threads hanging everywhere and coils in her hair. I mean this is this woman. I mean it's, you know, you can see her husband coming home and saying, hey, you keep a nice house, but do you ever look seedy?
I mean can't you do something about it? Not this woman. She's appreciative of the beauty with which God has adorned her. She's appreciative of the love of her husband and wants to show him how much she cares and how much she wants to present herself to him in the beauty that God has given her. So, verse 22 says, her clothing are fine linen and purple.
That's lovely. Not silk and gold and pearls and et cetera, just linen, not particularly expensive, but the best because she went to find the best flax and did the best weaving she could do. And purple because the beauty of the color would enhance her own beauty. She takes care of herself. She adorns the beauty of her own creation. She avoids the extreme of ostentatious display and opts out for graceful simplicity.
It's not overdone. She knows that a woman's true adornment, as Paul said in 1 Timothy and Peter in 1 Peter 3, a woman's true adornment is her purity, her chaste character, her virtue, her godliness, her inner beauty. She seeks to honor God, to honor her family, to honor her husband, and that does not preclude her own loveliness, for that brings delight and joy to everyone. So, she manages it all for her family, even for herself. And has enough time, verse 24 says, as we noted, to make some things to sell, to bring a little extra in so that a field can be added to the estate, a vineyard planted, and the family enriched.
What a woman! We skipped verse 20, so let's go back and note the third thing about her, her generosity as a neighbor. Verse 20 says, she extends her hand to the poor and she stretches out her hands to the needy.
Of course, we would expect this, wouldn't we? This is an excellent woman. And as devoted and loving as she is toward her family, so loving is she toward those outside her family. She demonstrates not only a special devotion to her home, but compassion on all those who don't have the privilege of being in her home or a home like her home, the poor, the unfortunate. And verse 20 says, she extends her hand to the poor. We might assume that means she touches them, she's personally involved, she's intimately involved.
No doubt making clothes for them and making sure they're warm and fed. But we might assume when it says she extends her hand to the poor that she's responding to those poor who come to her. The next phrase says, she stretches out her hands to the needy, which implies that she reaches out to touch the ones who don't come near her.
She is touched and she is touching. She'll not just touch those who come close, but she reaches out to those who stay away with the idea of feeding them and clothing them and enriching their life through her resources. She is very much the model and the example for Dorcas, who it says in Acts 9 36 was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity, which she continually did.
And you remember when she died, the widow stood beside Peter weeping and showing all the tunics and garments Dorcas used to make while she was with them. She made all these clothes for poor people and widows and that's the godly, virtuous woman. She stretches her hands to the needy, her generosity as a neighbor. She is engulfed in her family, but she's not myopic. That's not all she sees in the world. It's not overdone.
It's not isolationism. She cares about others too. That brings us to the fourth description of her, her influence as a teacher, which comes starting in verse 25 and then in verse 26.
And we start in verse 25 because teaching starts with character. Strength and dignity are her clothing. She is garmented by strength and dignity and she smiles at the future. Strength has to do with spiritual character.
Dignity has to do with class, quality. She is a woman of great character, strong, dignified. She has a grace about her. She has a confidence about her.
She has a spirituality about her. That really is the foundation of her teaching. You see, you don't teach in a vacuum, not in a home. I mean, you may be a teacher in a school and show up and say anything you want, but you won't do that and be believed to people who live in a house unless you live what you teach, right? So that teaching starts with a platform of character in a home or else you're teaching people to be hypocrites. And you sure don't want to give that lesson. When you demand your family to be what you're not, you're telling them it's really not very important that they learn this.
It's only important that they try to teach it to somebody else and pass on the legacy of hypocrisy. No, the teacher in the home is the woman who has gained the right to be heard and believed because strength and dignity are her clothing. It says, and she smiles at the future. She has no fear. She has no fear. Because she knows in whom she trusts, she's deeply spiritual.
All things are in God's hands. She has prepared elegantly for everything. It will be well in the future for her because she's right with God. It'll be well in the future for her household because all things are in order. It will be well in the future for her children because they are properly brought along in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It will be well in the future for her husband for she has made provision, in his case, for him to be the best that he can be. It'll be well in the eternity to come for all of them because of her life. She has made a spiritual impact.
And then the teaching in verse 26, out of that character base, she opens her mouth in wisdom. She guides her family daily in wisdom. I believe the father is to be a teacher in the home.
I believe he is the family priest. But I do not believe for one moment that that precludes the reality that it is the mother who day in and day out, hour in and hour out is teaching wisdom to the children. Not formal classes, but instruction in the flow of life. She's the teacher. Men, we may give the formal lessons, but day in and day out, she's the teacher. And in what attitude does her teaching come? Verse 26, the wisdom of God comes out of her mouth and the law of kindness is on her tongue. The Torah of chesed, the Torah of loving kindness is on her tongue. The attitude in which she teaches all of this is a dominant attitude of loving kindness. What a challenge.
What does that mean? Gracious speech, kind speech, tender speech, pleasing speech, compassionate speech, ministering grace to the hearers, as Paul said, edifying, building up. That which comes out of her mouth is the wisdom of God in tender, compassionate, gracious, kind words. What a teacher. The greatest teacher. Because the character of life makes her so believable.
Because the wisdom of God is true and because the attitude is compassionate and gracious. No teacher like that. What a portrait.
Believe me, women, this is a challenge of a lifetime. Fifthly, we note her blessedness as a mother or her effectiveness as a mother. In verse 27, it sums up her leadership in the house by saying, she looks well to the ways of her household. In other words, she exercises constant surveillance over it all. She manages the children well, all the resources well, all the household. She doesn't eat the bread of idleness.
In other words, she is not eating the product of laziness, she's eating the product of effort. She worked hard at it. She has the real satisfaction that comes from a supreme effort.
She surveys the household. She's got it all under control. She meets every need.
And it implies that her children are in all of this because, verse 28 says, her children rise up in what? Bless her. They reverence her. They honor her.
They hold her in high esteem. Let me give you something you need to know. The first half of your life, women, you make an investment. The dividends of which you will reap the second half.
It flips over. This woman would raise her children. And when her children were old enough to be on their own, they would spend the rest of their life blessing the woman who gave her life to them.
That's God's design. The compensation then for old age is the exhilarating, blessed joy of the return of the investment of youth in children. As the children become older, they have their own children. And they seek to raise their children as they were raised. And therefore, their mother is constantly before their eyes, her tender guidance, her wise counsel, her loving discipline, her holy example, her hard work, her unselfish giving.
They never cease to fill the memories of her children who try to pass them on to their children. And there's another dividend for her motherhood. Verse 28 says, her husband also, and he praises her. And he says, many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.
There are many women of strength, women of force, women of character, but honey, you're the best. That's a woman's reward. That's a woman's reward. You invest it in your children and they'll return it.
You invest it in your husband and he'll return it. But how can a woman be like this? It almost seems idyllic to be such a wife and such a homemaker and such a neighbor and such a teacher and such a mother.
How can a woman be like this? That brings us to the last point, her excellence as a person. It all starts with the spiritual dimension. Please notice verse 30. Charm is deceitful.
Do you know what charm means in the Hebrew? Bodily form. That's deceitful. Some women spend all their time on their bodily form. That is deceitful because that's not the real you. Beauty is of no real value. It's vain. It's useless.
It's empty. Form, deceitful. You think you're getting something you're not. Beauty has no real value.
You want to know something? Those are the two things our world looks for. No wonder their relationships are empty and filled with deceit. That's all they look for.
Fools, absolute fools. But here's the woman you want. A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates.
What woman is this? She loves God. She's a true worshiper. She fears the Lord.
You have to live with that all your life. You live with a woman who fears God, loves God, and you are in the best environment. And by the way, she'll become more beautiful to you every passing year. This is the woman of character. Only God can produce her.
Listen. This is the woman that God wants and that every man should desire and that every woman should desire to be. One who is true to her mate. One who manages well her home. One who compassionately cares for the needy. One who lives and teaches divine wisdom with kindness, compassion, and grace. One who fully fulfills the call of a mother so that her children bless her. And one who, though she seeks no praise, will receive it anyway because of the character of her life.
I know we can't sell this woman to our society. I just pray we in the church can continue to focus on God's standard. It's a high standard, but it's God's standard. And my prayer is that every woman who names the name of Christ will seek to be this kind of woman.
By God's grace. That's John MacArthur, Chancellor of the Masters University and Seminary, looking at Proverbs 31, which is the measuring stick for an excellent wife or wife-to-be. John's study here on grace to you is called God's Design for a Successful Woman. Now, this is a study that can help your family resist the philosophies and trends and really the attacks that seek to derail the stability that God intends for the family. It's an important study, not only for wives and mothers, but also for husbands and fathers.
Spend some time working through these lessons again at your own pace. You can get God's Design for a Successful Woman, the free audio messages and free transcripts when you contact us today. You can find those messages at our website, gty.org. And in fact, John's entire sermon archive is there. That's 3,600 messages covering key doctrines on thinking biblically about controversial social issues, and there's at least one message on every New Testament verse.
To take advantage of all of that free teaching, go to gty.org. And keep in mind, nearly all of the resources we sell are currently available at a significant discount. Now is a great time to pick up the MacArthur Study Bible, as well as books like The Gospel According to Jesus, or Our Awesome God, or The Glory of Heaven. These might be ideal gifts to put in the hands of someone you've been giving the gospel to.
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Or you can shop online at gty.org. Now for John MacArthur and the entire Grace To You staff, I'm Phil Johnson, inviting you back tomorrow as John shows you how to protect your children from the world's corruption. It's another half hour of unleashing God's truth one verse at a time, on Grace To You.
