Fathers: Do Not Provoke - Part 2

Welcome to God First with Brian C. Thomas, a program committed to encouraging you to put God first while viewing life through the window of the Bible. Now, in honor of the one and only true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, let's join Brian C. Thomas for today's message.

It is a honor and a privilege to join you once again this week and for anyone that is joining me for the very first time, my name is Brian Thomas and I greet you in the name of our wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who is worthy of all the glory, the one who is worthy of all the honor, the one who is worthy of all the praise because he came to this fallen world and he died a sinless death so that we could have the opportunity for eternal life. And for that, we are forever grateful to our great and wonderful Lord. How many out there know that we serve a mighty God? We serve a wonderful God. And I just I just love the word of God, how the words just leap off the page and whatever it is that you're looking for in life. It is found in the word of our Lord.

And we can trust his word because there's power in the word of God. He is so great. He is so mighty.

He was so loving. And we give him all the glory. We give him all the honor.

We give him all the praise. Well, this week, I want to continue talking with you about a message that I spoke on last week concerning fathers and how they should not provoke their children. And someone that listened to last week's message reached out to me and asked, what was the reason that I decided to speak on this topic? Because the large majority of what I speak on are messages related to eschatology, meaning in times things that relate to the second coming of Jesus Christ. And well, the short answer was simply that God placed it on my heart because I look around the world and as I look in society, I see so many people that are carrying hurt and pain because of a relationship that is so fractured with their fathers. And so God put it on my heart to speak on this topic.

But also, I did think later that it does tie into eschatology, because Jesus Christ gave a list of signs when the apostles asked him what would be the sign of his coming in the end of the age. And one of the things that he mentioned was that the love of many will grow cold. And certainly as we look at society, one of the examples out of many is that the love of fathers has grown cold toward their children in so many cases.

And so I want to again speak on this topic because it is so important that as dads, we understand the importance of our influence on our children. It reminds me of a time in which I was attending my church several years ago. And it's a very large church, a church that has thousands of members.

So there are people there that you see all the time that you're not familiar with them, that you've never seen or met before. And so we arrived at the church, my household, which was my wife, my young son and my daughter. My son at the time was a year old.

He could barely walk. And so we arrived and I got out of the car. I walked around and I got him out of the car seat and I was holding him in my arms and I was was brushing his hair. And as I was doing so, I noticed the lady in the parking lot was standing next to her car and we kind of locked eyes. And so I smiled and gestured to her and she smiled and gestured back.

And as I continued to brush my son's hair and I put the brush down in the car, I was still standing there holding him while waiting for my wife to gather her things and to get our daughter out of the car. And I looked and I noticed the lady was still standing there. She was waiting on her companion and she was still looking at us. So I thought, well, I wonder what what is it that she's looking at me and my son.

Something about us has really gotten her attention. And so as I continued to stand there to wait for my wife and for us to enter into the church was for service. The lady as she was walking in, she she walked up to me and she said, I just love seeing dads holding their children. And I began to smile and she said, I just so much love to see that it just makes me feel so good inside.

And I responded, it makes me feel good, too. And I love holding my children. And it just shows the importance of dads because people are taking note.

People are watching. But see, this this lady understood the importance of a father having a relationship with their children. And she just loved seeing that she didn't know us.

We never met. But just seeing that brought joy to her. And it is so important, folks, that as day as we understand the significance of the influence that we have on our children and the message that it sends to society. So I want to draw your attention back to the verses that I spoke on last week, the first one being Ephesians, chapter six, verse four. That verse reads and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Notice the text reads fathers, not mothers. It is very important for us to understand that and to note that it is not saying that mothers is insignificant. But God created roles for parents for different reasons. He gave a man a certain role and he gave a wife a certain role, the mother a certain role. The male, the man is primarily to be his number one function is so many.

It's kind of hard to pick one. But one of the very important functions is for him to be a disciplinarian to the children, to make sure that that he is keeping the children in line and in order. And so when we look at mothers, on the other hand, their primary function is to be a nurturer towards their children. And my wife can tell you that when it comes to our kids, that they are much more likely to get in line when they're doing something out of order.

When I tell them to then when she tells them to. And you see that all the time. It's just children are more likely to to pay attention when their dads begin to discipline them than their mothers. And see, when dads, when you're not there, when you're not in the home, there is a major void. When we look in the black community, more than 70 percent of children are born to fatherless homes. And this has had such a negative impact because what happens is that these children grow up and they do not have a respect for authority because they did not see the proper disciplinary actions as they were growing up. And what we see in so many cases in which there are incidents with police officers and we see young men who choose to be noncompliant to an officer's orders, they feel like they can say what they want and do what they want and not be obedient because that's the way they grew up. They grew up not having respect for authority. And then what happens is it leads to these incidents.

And then you see these up roars about police brutality and racism. And so things just get skewed because when we do things outside of the order of God, then they're going to be repercussions. Dads, it is so important that we are there for our children, that we are there to to not only be a disciplinarian, but also to lead spiritually. Dads, we should be the ones that are taking the family by the hand and saying, let's get together and pray. We should be the ones that are saying, let's make sure we're ready to go to church. We should be the ones that are leading the devotion, not looking to the mother. But we as dads should be the one because the scripture says here that we are to train them in the admonition of the Lord. So that is so important, dads.

We must do that. And imagine when as a dad, when you're not there for your children and there are some dads who have just made it outright clear that they just simply don't like their children. And imagine what it is going through life with that feeling that dad does not like me. Dad never calls me.

Dad never attempts to see me. It is so important that we do things to let our kids know and please understand when I say we discipline our kids, you're doing it out of love, but you're not there to only be a disciplinarian. You're also there to to show them the love and by by spending quality time with them, not always just simply correcting them when they're wrong.

But we're just being quality time with our children. And that is why, as I spoke on last week, I made a commitment to my daughter when she was three years old to always take her to the daddy daughter dance. And that first year I was apprehensive because I'm not a dancer.

I don't have a talent for dancing. But I wanted to take her to that dance so she could enjoy getting dressed up and putting on a new dress and fixing the fancy hairdo. And we went and we just had a ball. We had a blast and we've gone every year since. And as my late grandfather used to say, we just go out there and we just dance and dance and dance and we just have ourselves a great time. It is so important. And I see how much she looks forward to it every year, even once the dance is over.

She's already talking about the next year when we were going to go to the annual dance. So it is so important that we do not provoke our children by being absent in their lives because it has such a profound impact. If a dad is not present, I also want to stress, though, for those out there, do not use that as a crutch to see and don't use it as an excuse to see. And because, yes, maybe you have some things stacked against you, but just turn to Jesus Christ and he will lead you in a way. And I'll speak on it more later.

But he will feel that void that is missing from your dad not being present. Also spoke on Colossians chapter three, verse 21, in which the Bible speaks to discouragement. It says, fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. There is a major problem in our society with the emasculation of men. And if we look at sitcoms, we it's been common for many decades in which men are made fun of. The dads are made fun of as the bumbling, fumbling, unintelligent dad. You see it in commercials. You see it all the time. And this goes against God's order of man being the head, being the leader of the family.

And what this does is it leads to me and growing up without a confidence to lead. And I was watching a commercial once in which there was a couple in which there were some things going wrong in their home that needed to be repaired. And the husband was speaking of repairing it and his wife started snickering. And then he began to or at least he attempted to talk as if he would do the repairs.

And then she would talk him down to say, no, you can't do it. And it's supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be comical. But folks, this is not in the order of God. This is not the way God designed things to be. Now, I know there are some cases in which the man may not know how to do things well, very well around the home.

I know that happens. But generally speaking, God placed the man to be in a certain role and is not to be emasculated, is not to be talked down to, is not to be looked at in a condescending manner as society is so much doing today. And I know of a man in which he grew up in a household and he did not have his dad giving him confidence. He did not have his dad there to applaud him. He had he had a family that was very critical to him. And so when it came time for him to lead a family, he was very unsure of himself. He had no confidence in leading his wife and his kids. He was always when he made a decision, he was second guessing himself. He was always asking his wife, do you think this is OK? Are you sure? And she would try to tell him, honey, it's OK. He's fine.

You got it. But but because of the fact that he was brought up without that, that confidence builder from his dad, he had so much uncertainty about his abilities. And again, society promotes that society pushes that. And that is why I am constantly stressing to my kids that I am proud of them. I'm constantly stressing to them that I'm so glad of what you are doing.

I applaud them for their accomplishments. But when we look at the way society views me and now is saying that, well, the man doesn't know what he's doing. The man is unintelligent.

The man is not smart. But this is where man is trying to say, well, we are wiser than God because that goes in opposition to God and how he made man as the head. God is wiser than mankind. So we need to be encourages as a society. We need to encourage me and day as we need to encourage our children. It is so important that we don't miss that.

It is so important because it carries so much weight and it goes a long way. We must make sure that we are building our men up and that we're raising our children up to be what God has called them to be. You're just now joining us.

We are speaking on the topic of days. Do not provoke your children. Don't go away.

We'll come back on the other side of the break with more. You are tuned into the God First program. You are listening to Brian C. Thomas on God First. For more of Brian's teachings, please visit Godfirst.org to browse our extensive library of material. There you will find devotionals, blogs, articles and audio messages available as MP3 downloads on various topics such as salvation, Bible prophecy, marriage and the significance of Lesson Israel, just to name a few.

You can also sign up for our monthly newsletter and visit our Web store. So please visit us at Godfirst.org. Now, let's return to the conclusion of today's message. Welcome back to the God First program. My name is Brian Thomas, and if you are just now joining us, you can listen to this message in its entirety by visiting us at Godfirst.org. That's G-O-D, the number one S-T dot O-R-G. You can also write us at God First Bible Fellowship, P.O.

Box 266, Knightdale, North Carolina 27545. The Book of Joel, Chapter two, verses twenty five through twenty six speaks of restoration. The nation of Israel had a period in which there was a famine in the land because the land had been ravaged by locusts and it was judgment from God because of their disobedience. But those verses speak of the fact that God can and will restore what they have lost and what you have lost.

If you will turn to him, the verses read, so I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts has eaten. There are dads out there that were not walking with God during their children's childhood, and so they missed out on raising their children. They were not there. But later in life, these dads have came to know and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. And now they live with the regret of not being there for their children.

And there are many dads that are carrying around that guilt. They say, I blew it. I missed it. It's gone.

I don't get that opportunity back. But we must remember that God exists outside of time. The Bible says that God created the beginning. He created the concept of a beginning. He created the concept of an end.

You see, if you could go back in the past history, if you could just continue to travel back in time. God is always there. That's mind blowing for us as humans.

We can't wrap our minds around that. Our finite minds is hard for us to embrace that. But he was always there. And then if we can go into the future for eternity, which we all will live in eternity, either in the presence of Almighty God or in eternal damnation. But God is always going to be there. He's always existed and he always will exist.

And so I say that to say this. If God created all things, God created the concept of time. So if he created the concept of time, don't you think he can give you time back? And I know you're saying in the natural mind, we're thinking, but but they're they're grown now.

They're no longer children. How can we get that back? Just trust in God. Trust in him because he is all powerful. He knows and can do all things. We try to put God in a box because we think about is ourselves as human beings time.

We operate on a on a time scale time in from one day to the next and from one second to the next minute, the next hour. God, though, exists outside of time. And so he is the author of it all. And so, folks, he can give you that time back. So don't don't be discouraged and don't try to figure out, well, how is God going to do it? Just just trust in him. Just trust him because Jesus Christ brought about redemption at the cross.

If he can redeem souls to eternal life, he can certainly redeem time. Just trust in him and know that if you put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, he can restore to you the years that the swarming locusts have eaten trust in Almighty God. I also want to stress, though, that as I have spoken on things that I do with my children in which I try to encourage them, this is not a self-righteous message. This is not a message in which I'm trying to convey that I have this thing perfectly figured out because I make mistakes. I don't always get it right with my children. I definitely have times in which I have to go to my kids and say, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

Will you forgive me? Just yesterday, I had an incident in which my son wasn't doing something at a fast enough pace that I wanted him to. And I got impatient with him and I used the tone that I felt was inappropriate. Now, I don't think he thought twice about it.

It wasn't over the top or anything. But I knew in my heart that I had gotten impatient and frustrated. And so I went to him last night before bed and I said, son, I'm sorry for the way that I rushed you early. I should not have done that.

That was wrong. And I asked him, will you forgive me? And he smiled and said, yeah, daddy. Yes, daddy, I forgive you.

And I gave him a fist bump and all was good. Dads, we have to be willing to do that. We have to be willing to admit our wrongs. And being a dad is more than just providing food. It's more than just providing clothes.

It's more than just covering bills. And I know of a man who said that he grew up in which his guardians, they supplied all of his needs, but he said they never showed him love. They never expressed love towards him. They never told him they loved him. They were always harsh with him. They were always very critical. But he figured they probably just looked at things and said, well, we are supplying his needs and therefore he should know we love him.

But he speaks of the fact that he he wishes that he would have heard them say, I love you, heard them be applauding of things that he accomplished. And as it is so important that we do that, it is so important that we spend that time, that proper time with our children and build them up. And again, as we're not always right. I wish I could say we were always right. And and as a dad, you're walking with Jesus Christ. You should be right the majority of the time. But Jesus Christ is the only one that that was perfect.

He's the only one that got it right all the time. And his dad, just because we are dads, we do not have a license to be rude to our children. We do not have a license to be crude to them. We do not have a license to be harsh in our speech towards our kids. And do not be so prideful that you are unwilling to admit when you're wrong. You should value the relationship with your child enough to say you were sorry. You should value that relationship enough to ask for forgiveness. You should value that relationship enough to say that you were wrong. But I see so many dads out there that they have this pride and they they just look at things and say, well, I'm the father.

I should be able to say whatever. And the child should just get over it. But no, you don't have a license to just treat the child any kind of way simply because you're their dad. And we must as dads understand that we must spend that proper time with our children and children are going to respect you so much more forward when you are willing to admit that you are wrong. We have to recognize the impact of the way we are towards our kids.

If you as a dad were not there for your children, I want you to repent and go to them. Humble yourself. Say I was wrong. Don't make excuses. Don't say, well, your mother treated me wrong. Don't say I was out of work.

I was struggling. Don't use any excuses. Just say, son, I was not there for you. I'm sorry, daughter.

I should have been there. Will you please forgive me and ask them if they will be willing to give you another chance. And to the women out there, choose godly men. Don't don't just go and choose some some Joe blow off the street that you know is not living for the Lord. And then when things don't turn out right and how he is toward the children, then you're complaining.

Choose a godly man and then let that man lead in the ways of the Lord. You know, as I spoke on before about the daddy daughter dance and I spoke last week on how Saturday mornings I take my son out and we spend that time together going to get breakfast and just spending time outdoors. It is my desire that later in life when I'm gone and God willing is where I will go before my children do, but that they will look back on those times. And my son will say, man, dad and I had some great times together on those Saturday mornings is my desire that my daughter will look back on those times later in life. And she'll say, we just had such a great time at those dances.

I cherish those moments so much. And I want to encourage dads out there to make those same memories with your children to encourage them spend that time with them because it is so so important. And I've been speaking for the last two weeks and how when dads are not present how so many negative things can happen in which kids can go the wrong direction in life. You may be one who did not have your dad there. Maybe your dad died before you were born or at a young age, or maybe you never knew your father.

Maybe even to this day. You don't know who your dad is. And you may be saying, well, does that mean I'm a messed up person because I did not have my dad there. The answer is no, because God will step in and feel that void from a missing dad. So if you turn to him and put your faith and trust in him, and I know so many people that did not have their dads around, but yet they are such great warriors for the kingdom of God, for Jesus Christ. Because what happens is God will sometimes he'll send another male figure to step in and feel that void. Or he may supernaturally himself step in and feel that void and give you that love, give you that comfort, that encouragement that you did not get from an earthly father. And so I want you to know how valuable you are.

Don't look at it and say you're, you were a messed up person. If you did not have a dad in your life, there are so many wonderful people out there that did not grow up with their father. So many wonderful people out there who were well up in age and still do not have a relationship with their dads, but yet they are doing so many great things for the kingdom.

And so I want you to know how valuable you are. And there is a hurt that comes from those who have been willfully rejected by their dads. The pain, I know it must be tremendous. I'm thankful that I did not experience that pain of growing up and not having a dad in the home. But there are those out there that say to themselves all the time, why didn't dad love me enough to be there? Why did he run out on us? Why didn't he spend time with me?

Why didn't he love me and cherish me? And you're carrying that hurt and that weight. And I want you to know that you don't have to live with that hurt and that pain.

Just give it to Jesus Christ. And so I want to pray for those people today that are feeling that. And I also want to pray to the dads today who you were saying to yourself, you haven't done things with the way with your kids in the way that you should have.

And you want to do better. I want to pray for you both. Heavenly Father, I ask you today, Lord, that you look down upon those who are carrying the hurt and the pain of not having a dad in the home. Those who are walking around today, Lord, that are feeling like, why is it that I'm not being loved?

Why wasn't I valuable enough to my dad? And they're wondering and they have question marks and they're struggling with Jesus. Let them know that they can find that love in you and that they can overcome it through you. They do not have to carry that weight because you paid the price for all sin, including an absent dad. And so you can can be that substitute dad and you can supernaturally give them the love. And you can can be there for them and will be there for them if they would simply turn to you and have their faith and trust in your hands.

And Lord, I ask that for dads out there who are not doing things in accordance to the way that you have called dads to be. I ask Lord that that you touch their hearts. Let them know when the ways to go. They may be out there and they're they're struggling because they're afraid. They know that they need to turn to their child who they've not been there for. But they're afraid of being rejected by their child.

Give them the encouragement to let them know that they need to be there. They need to reach out. They need to to reconcile. They need to restore that relationship and that you have the power, Lord Jesus, to restore all things.

If you can overcome seeing and you even overcame death, you can overcome any problems that are going on in a relationship between a father and a son. And so we give it all to you. We thank you, Lord. May it all be for your honor. May it all be for your glory forever and ever. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen. Well, I hope this message has been a blessing to someone. I hope that there's anyone out there, whether you are a dad or whether you are a child and you are struggling in this area. I want you to continue to pray.

Don't give up. Don't give in because we serve a God who is the author of all things. He has all power in his hands. We don't have to to limit him because he is a limitless God. He's a God who can do all things. He is a God who created the heavens and the earth.

He is a God who created all things. And there's no greater love that can be found anywhere than what is in our Lord. And so just keep your faith and trust in him and he will see you through. I want you to please come back and join us next week where we will continue to encourage you to put God first while viewing life through the window of the Bible. Until then, remember to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, bless God's great nation of Israel and to the only wise God be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen.