Something's wrong with this picture. What kind of Savior, what kind of rescuer, what kind of healer, what kind of deliverer would refuse the prayer of a paralytic? Joni Eareckson-Tada will tackle the subject of suffering, especially when healing doesn't come. Welcome to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I'm John Fuller. Joni, many people are going to be helped by the message we're sharing from Joni today, and next time.
We received a huge response the last time we aired it. As a quadriplegic for over 50 years, Joni has a lifetime of experience dealing with suffering, including the mental anguish that comes when it appears that God is refusing to heal, as we heard in that clip. Many years of chronic pain, two bouts of cancer, and just last year, two extended stays in the hospital for double pneumonia. I mean, at some point you're going, Lord, are you there? And as we'll hear today, Joni has learned how to lean in to God and find His purpose for her life. Even in the midst of suffering, it is such a lesson for all of us. Yeah, she's a remarkable person.
And here now is Joni Eareckson-Tada speaking at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention in Nashville, Tennessee, a number of years ago on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. If you spend any time with me at all, you know that I love the old hymns. I love to sing them.
But I'm going to tell you something. I sing because I have to. I remember darker days when I was first injured and in the hospital. I wanted so much to cry, but instead I would stifle the tears and comfort myself singing a hymn like, Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry, while on others thou art calling, do not pass me by. And it always reminded me as I sang that of the pull of Bethesda. You know that portion of scripture from John, chapter five, when friends would come to the hospital to visit me, I always ask them to read it to me.
For there is in Jerusalem near the sheep gate, a pool which is called Bethesda, which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here, a great number of disabled people used to lie, the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been in invalid for 38 years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time. Oh, my goodness, Jesus thinks 38 years in a wheelchair is a long time. What does he think of 45 years in a wheelchair? Jesus asked him, do you want to get well? Jesus said to him, get up and walk. I cannot tell you how many times at night I would picture myself there at the pool of Bethesda on a blanket, perhaps lying next to the man with paralysis on his straw mat. And I would wait alongside him, waiting for Jesus to walk into those covered colonnades.
And I would see him and I would, in my mind's eye, cry out, oh, Jesus, Jesus, don't pass me by. Here I am. Heal me. But as many times as I pictured myself there at the pool of Bethesda, and as often as I asked Jesus to heal me. I never got up. I never walked. Sometime later, after I was released from the hospital and I lived with my sister, Jay, on the farm in Maryland, I heard tell there was going to be a Kathryn Kuhlman healing crusade down in Washington, D.C., at the Washington Hilton Ballroom.
I wasted no time. My sister took me. And I'll never forget when I entered that huge ballroom packed with people. The ushers escorted me to the wheelchair section. And there I was, sitting amongst many other people in wheelchairs, people with multiple sclerosis, people who had muscular dystrophy.
Kathryn Kuhlman came waltzing out onto the stage in the spotlight. The organ crescendoed, the music rose, and suddenly the spotlight angled over on the far side of the ballroom, where it seemed as though healings were occurring. Oh, my goodness, all of us in the wheelchair section, we got so excited. It seemed to continue. More people getting healed. And I felt like I was back at the pool in Bethesda.
Jesus, come over here, over here where all the hard cases are. Before that crusade even ended, the ushers came and escorted all of us in the wheelchair section out early. And there I was, sitting number 15 in a long line at the elevator. I could still hear the music on the other side of the ballroom going on. But there I was, sitting there in a line of very disappointed people, using white canes, wheelchairs, and walkers.
And I looked up and down this very quiet line of people, and I thought to myself, something's wrong with this picture. What kind of savior, what kind of rescuer, what kind of healer, what kind of deliverer would refuse the prayer of the paralytic? OK, I thought when I got back to the farm and Jay put me to bed. OK, if I can't be healed, then I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to live this way.
I'm just not going to do it. And very soon, a bitter root, a real spirit of complaining began to grip hold of my heart. And nothing that anybody did for me was good enough. Every hurdle that I faced became another reason to feel sorry for myself.
Queen Johnny I was, if things didn't go my way, off with your head. Most of all, Christ the healer in the midst of all this complaining and bitterness. Christ the healer seemed so far, so distant.
I remember I would often tell my sister Jay, I don't want to get up today, just draw the drapes, turn out the lights, leave me in bed and close the door. But even in that darkness of my bedroom, I had to stifle my tears and still comfort myself with hymns that would well up from my childhood, like in the darkness, singing. Abide with me, fast falls the even tide, when darkness deepens, Lord with me abide. When other helpers fail and comforts flee, help of the helpless, I'm so helpless.
Oh, abide with me. And finally, in that darkness, I cried, Oh God, I can't live this way either. So please, you're just going to have to show me how to live.
Please, God. That was my first plea for help. A short prayer it was, if I can't die, then show me how to live. But it opened up much brighter days when my sister then would come into the bedroom and open the drapes, sit me up in the wheelchair, wheel me to the living room and park my chair in front of a music stand, much like this one. And on it, she would plop a big Bible and she put into my mouth a long mouth stick with a rubber tipped end. And I would sit there all day in the living room, flipping through pages of the Bible this way and that, trying to make sense of it all. Of course, I was still interested in healing. I was still wanting to know what the Bible had to say about it. And I found out real quick in the first chapter of the Gospel of Mark.
You know the story there. Jesus is performing all kinds of miracles for all kinds of sick and diseased people all throughout the day and long past sunset. The next morning, all the crowds return. Simon and his companions go looking for Jesus, but they can't find him. He's nowhere to be found. It seems that the master had gotten up early that morning and gone off to a solitary place to pray. So finally, when Simon and his friends discovered Jesus, they tell him about this crowd of disabled and diseased people down at the bottom of the hill, all looking for healing. But Jesus replied to Simon in the 38th verse, Let's go somewhere else. Let's go to the nearby villages so I can preach there also, for, now get this, this is why I have come. Jesus turning away from sick and disabled people, looking for healing people like me. And that's when it hit me. It's not that Jesus did not care about all those sick and disabled people at the bottom of the hill.
It's just that their physical problems were not his main focus. The gospel was the gospel of Jesus that says sin kills. Hell is real. But God is merciful. His kingdom can change you.
And I am your passport. And whenever people miss this, whenever they started coming to Jesus just to have their problems removed, the Savior backed away. No wonder I've been so depressed. I mean, I realized I was into Jesus mainly to get my pains and my problems and my paralysis fixed. And yes, I began to see from the first chapter of the Gospel of Mark that God cares about suffering. And he spent most of his time on Earth trying to relieve it. But the Gospel of Mark showed me the priorities of Jesus, because the same man who healed eyes and withered hands is the same man who said, if your eye causes you to sin or your hand causes you to sin, cut it off, gouge it out.
That's when I got the picture. I always thought physical healing had been the big deal. But as far as God was concerned, my soul was the bigger deal. And that's when that's when I began searching for a deeper healing, a Psalm 139 kind of healing. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and see if there be some wicked way in me. Cleanse me from every sin and set me free. And for the last 45 years in this wheelchair, that's been my prayer. And God has been answering, exposing things in my heart, things from which I need to be healed.
And I am far from finished. God is still searching. God is still testing. He is still trying. And in a way, that's what this book, Johnny and Ken, an untold love story, is all about.
Ken and I recently celebrated 30 years of marriage. But I tell you, every step of the way with my quadriplegia, with my chronic pain, every step has been a tough, earnest, rugged, rigorous reliance on Jesus Christ. Even in marriage, especially in marriage, God is not so much interested in removing the problems, removing the disappointments or the pain. He's more interested in removing, well, remember that bitter spirit, that complaining spirit that I told you about?
How nothing that anybody did was good enough? Well, it was early on in our marriage, and Ken was really starting to weigh. He was starting to feel pressured with the nonstop 24-7 day-to-day dreary routines that this disability can bring. And my husband became depressed. I mean depressed with a capital D. And I somewhat removed myself emotionally because it hurt so much to see my disability cause my husband such pain.
Those were the, quote, tired middle years, we call them in the book. One night, Ken was particularly quiet. He had been all day that way, giving me the cold shoulder. I asked him what was wrong.
He said nothing. But that night, he sat on the edge of our bed, and for the first time he opened up, and he said, Johnny, I'm trapped. I feel trapped.
And there's no escape. My husband was being honest and open for the first time. And what did I do? What did I say?
Out of the pit of my heart, I spat. Well, what's the matter with you? Didn't you realize it was going to be like this when we took our marriage vows?
I'm a quadriplegic. Didn't you know it was going to be this difficult? I knew right away, instantly, that that was the wrong thing to say.
And so I quickly apologized and said, Oh, Ken, I am so sorry. That was not like me. I mean, that's not like me at all. But you know what? It is like me.
It is just like me. And so God does not remove the hardships. He allows them, purposes them, permits, ordains them, use whatever word you wish.
He designs them. And pain and problems and paralysis become the lemon that he squeezes to reveal all the selfishness and the spitefulness. We don't like that. I don't like that.
But I need that. Search me, O God, test me and try me and show me the sin that I am capable of. And so in those tired middle years, I have learned to sing a different kind of song of healing. For there is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole. There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul. My quadriplegia keeps squeezing the lemon, squeezing it so hard, revealing the not so pretty stuff of which I am made and replacing it with empathy for my husband.
With love and with patience and perseverance and long suffering. And in the last 10 years of my marriage to Ken, the daily chronic pain that I deal with has squeezed that lemon even more. Joni Eareckson Tada on Focus on the Family and we'll continue her message next time. But as she spoke about the challenges that she and her husband Ken faced in their marriage, especially as she was diagnosed with breast cancer, we thought it'd be appropriate for you to hear Ken's perspective as well. And Jim, some time ago, you and I were out in California with Ken and Joni, and you had a chance to ask him a rather pointed question about that. Yeah, we did.
Let's hear that discussion. I want to press you a little bit because so many marriages fall apart when things like this happen. And I'm mindful of the fact that there are people listening that are struggling. Perhaps their spouse has had an accident that has left them physically challenged in different ways.
I think the number is 75, 80 percent of those marriages may fall apart. Yours hasn't in quite the opposite. It's been a beacon of hope for people.
What advice do you have? What pearl of wisdom do you have for the spouse of someone who is physically handicapped? One of the things I think both Joni and I have grown to discover is that God is a sovereign God. And if He's sovereign, He's sovereign in the blessings as well as the adversities. And there are going to be some adversities. We are in a battle. We are in a spiritual battle here. And I think for us, for Joni and I both to love Christ, that's taken us through some pretty difficult times.
And I think that that's been a real special part of this. You don't want to go into this battle alone. You have your spouse. But for me as a guy, I've got two buddies that I can really call on anytime day or night. And they're there for me.
I think we need to be surrounded. And they're firmly rooted in God. So they're not going to let me get away with anything. They're going to hold you accountable.
They're going to hold me accountable. Exactly. Ken, let me ask you this too. It would seem to me that getting up each day for you is an attitude of service. I think in marriage oftentimes we're selfish. When you talk about those marital spats that we might have, I think generally it's rooted in selfishness. And it's beautiful how the Lord has used the metaphor of marriage to depict how our attitudes should be toward each other. And we're admonished for husbands to love your wife like Christ loved the Church. That's pretty amazing, isn't it? That's pretty amazing.
That seems undoable. Well, you know, Jim, I think one of the things I would like to tell you is that this is the way our marriage has been for the 30 years that we've been married. But we went through some struggles early on, just like any other married couple.
I think that what has been so unbelievable in this journey with cancer this past year is I've fallen in love with my wife all over again. And I don't know how many husbands could say that. I always get emotional about this.
But, you know, when I realized that maybe I'd lose Johnny, it rocked my world. You think about it one day, your spouse is gone, and you might reach over the bed like you did just 24 hours ago. And no one's there. And what that emptiness and that loneliness must feel like. But it's the way it should feel, isn't it?
Oh, exactly. I told Johnny I want to live one day longer than her. And then I realized, you know, if I'm not in good shape, that's not going to mean a whole lot.
So if I become disabled myself, so I've been working out a little bit extra harder these last few months just to kind of get myself back in shape here. Oh, I so love Ken Tada. He is humble and so strong and such a godly man. And that was really a good day we spent with him at the offices of Johnny and Friends in Agoura Hills, California.
What a memory. And since then, Johnny has had a second bout, as you noted, Jim, a second bout with cancer. And she was hospitalized twice for double pneumonia. She still keeps going with the Lord and serving faithfully with the ministry he's given her, reaching out to persons with disabilities and their families and just the general community of people that need to hear her message.
What a strong woman she is. And Ken, a strong man. Both Johnny and Ken are living examples of the fact that experiencing a difficult trial, whether for a short season or for a lifetime, can bring you closer to the Lord. It doesn't seem to make sense, but it works if your heart is humble.
And if you're closer to the Lord, you are a better, more content person than you would have been otherwise. And working through these trials can be tough on a marriage, but as Johnny and Ken found out, it can be done with better communication and empathy. And I'm sure many of you are wishing your marriage had that spirit of teamwork like Johnny and Ken have. Can I just encourage you to call us? We have counselors here who would be happy to spend some time on the phone with you. And if you feel like your marriage is really in dire straits, ask about our Hope Restored intensive counseling program, which has an over 80% success rate.
That's right. We go back two years later to take that survey. There is hope for your marriage, and we'd love to share that with you. Here's how one couple responded to the Hope Restored experience in Branson, Missouri, one of four locations. They wrote, the moment you get out of the car, there's a feeling of peace. We said, surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.
Hope Restored gave us four days away from distractions, a chance to focus on each other, and to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Every single person on the staff is very loving and obviously filled with the Holy Spirit. We wish we could work there.
I mean, what a great statement. And you've been to the locations, Jim. I've been to one or two of them. There really is a sense of God's Spirit is here, and there's a special work he's going to do. And he really does amazing things with the couples that come. He surely does, and we're very proud of the ministry to marriages that is happening on those campuses. I've got to say, if you know anyone who needs a miracle in their marriage, the Lord is the answer, and he works through Hope Restored to repair those broken marriages. And you know, this is a big part of our work here at Focus on the Family.
We're not just trying to entertain you with radio and podcasts. We want to help you in your marriage, your parenting journey, and most importantly, your walk with Jesus Christ. That is core to us, and we do that through the resources that we offer, the talents of our staff, and the outreach programs that we provide.
So please, take advantage of that. Pray for this ministry and the work that we do here. And if you can, make a donation and let our ministry become your ministry.
I think that's how the Lord sees it. And as a matter of fact, we're asking friends like you to become monthly supporters of Focus on the Family. That would help so much. Monthly donors are a critical factor in keeping our budget kind of on that even keel. It's the dollars we know will come in, and it's very helpful. It's a great way to help us keep this radio program on the air and do the day in and day out ministry. If you make a monthly pledge today, of any amount, we'll send you a copy of the book that Joni and Ken authored together that really gets into the details of how her disability has impacted their marriage.
It's called Joni and Ken, an Untold Love Story, and I know you're going to enjoy it and learn so much from it. And as an added bonus, we've compiled a free audio collection of really encouraging programs on the subject of suffering and other trials that make us question whether God really cares about what's going on in our lives. Look for the collection called Enduring the Challenges of Life, which includes today's message from Joni and Ken at our website.
Yeah, just visit the show notes to access that free audio collection. It includes about three hours of conversations, insights, thoughts about suffering and persevering and God's grace from Dr. Tim Keller, Dr. Larry Krab, also a miracle, literally a miracle, caught on tape with Pastor Duane Miller. Again, the link is in the show notes, or if you have any questions, call 800, the letter A in the word family.
That's 800-232-6459. Next time, more from Joni Eric-Santala. Oh God, you were so wise in not giving me a physical healing.
You were so wise because a no answer to a request to be physically healed has meant yes to a deeper faith in you. On behalf of the entire team, thanks for listening to this Focus on the Family podcast. Take a moment, if you will, and leave a rating in your app and share about this episode with a friend.
Most of the discovery of this podcast happens when you invite someone you know to listen, so please do that for us. I'm Jon Fuller and we'll see you back here next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. In 1 Timothy 2, God calls us to pray for others, especially for those in authority. As we approach our presidential election this fall, will you join me and many others in praying for our nation? Take our 31-day prayer challenge to pray for America and her families. You can download the prayer guide at focusonthefamily.com slash prayforamerica. That's focusonthefamily.com slash pray the number for America.
