Celebrating Christmas as a Family

Everybody around us this summer, I say everybody, but our eyes were open to it in the last year that there's a lot of folks in their 30s that are our age that we're seeing their marriages fall apart.

And it scared us. After 11 years, Brett's marriage had grown stale. He wanted something better for he and his wife. That's when they found our podcast online and began listening almost every day. Focus on the families helped our marriage from the standpoint of opening our hearts to see things from the other's perspective and to make sure that God is centered in our marriage.

I'm Jim Daly. Thanks to the generosity of friends like you, Brett's marriage is getting better. Working together we can give families hope. Will you join our marriage building team?

Call 800 the letter A and the word family or donate at focusonthefamily.com slash hope and your gift will be doubled. God is the one that makes things grow. And we've the reason we've stuck together and flourished through the wilderness and through success is because our faith and trust was in that there's a God. We acknowledge our flaws and difficulties because let's face it, we're all flawed. We don't even act to be smart or experts on anything, but we just are who we are.

And we believe that God uses us in spite of our difficulties to make Jesus look real good. That's Jace Robertson and you'll hear more from him and most of the Robertson family on today's episode of Focus on the Family. Your host is president and author Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller. I am so excited to share this conversation with you today, especially if you're a fan of the hit television show Duck Dynasty. The Robertsons have become such good friends of the ministry and we've really enjoyed getting to know each of them. We hosted a special event at Sea Island in Georgia and for the first time ever, 13 members of the Robertson clan, including Phil's recently discovered daughter, gathered on stage. It was awesome and we gave each family member an ornament that symbolized something in their lives.

So you'll hear some of their fun stories and fond memories and you'll probably laugh a lot as well. The Robertsons aren't shy about sharing their faith and the way the Lord redeemed their stories. Each of them have experienced trials of one sort or another, kind of like the rest of us.

And they have come out on the other side proclaiming God's glory. As we're just days away from celebrating Christmas, this conversation will remind you of God's goodness and his love. And you're going to hear from Phil and Kay Robertson, Al and Lisa, Jace and Missy, Willie and Corey, Jep and Jessica, and as Jim mentioned, Phil's daughter Phyllis, and you're even going to hear from Uncle Cy. And we're going to begin our episode as Miss Kay receives her Christmas ornament.

I think we're going to start with Miss Kay. Go ahead, Al. All right, Mom. Open up your gift.

Mom loves opening gifts. All right. These are so cute. All right. So you got a whisk and a rolling pin. And I use them all the time.

Right. And so obviously that means a lot about cooking. So we wanted you to tell a little bit about why cooking is important and kind of how that came about. How did you learn how to do what you do? Well, I lived half the time with my grandmother because we had a big store in the town.

It was the biggest store in the town. We lived of about 300 people. But so I got to stay with my nanny and her whole thing was on cooking, cooking and cooking and cooking more. So she let me start helping her.

I love rolling out the dough. I learned so much with her and it was just so fun. I mean, I just couldn't imagine a life without learning how to cook. Well, then I did really well some learning her stuff. But then when I hooked up was right here.

My other half, maybe better half, I don't know. But his mother cooked different than I than my grandma did. So what did I have to do?

Learn how to cook like his mother cook. But I mastered that and then I even came out with some of my own recipes myself. And I'm not a scholar or anything like that. In fact, I barely made it through high school. But I promised them I'd bring them some cookies. Teachers, you know, I bribed and stuff like that. And I made it.

I did. They're smart and then they're smart. Foods help.

You use the talent you have. Mine was cooking and food. And anyway, and then I learned to cook like Phil's mother.

So he was happy, happy boy. And so anyway, food has always been important, not just the food, but the kitchen. And I mean, I even had Jason's daughter over and brought 10 or 15. I don't know how many of her classmates in college to learn how to make chicken and dumplings. I was thrilled they wanted me to teach them that. We were a while learning it.

They learned how to roll the dough and put them in. It was a fun night. We had to get rid of Phil.

Of course, he would have been in there with Fox News or something. So we sent him over to our workers. But I want to tell you something. I was just thrilled that my grandkids wanted me to teach their friends how to cook. And most of my boys can cook.

Not as well as others. Alan's a dessert man. Willie can cook anything under the sun and add more and more and more stuff. So Willie, Willie is really a good cook. Alan's got the desserts down. Jason can cook a lot of good wild game and stuff or probably I don't know. I just remember I always see him and cook fried potatoes really well and other things. And where's my other son? Jep.

Yeah, Jep. He cooks. He's the baby. He's the baby.

He's the sweeter one, of course. But he can cook. He can cook very well. Him and his wife both are great cooks. But most all my daughter-in-laws are.

Corey's a little slow around the edge. But I'm going to tell you something. She loves me. She loves me. And she's got many other talents, too. It's not just in cooking. That's just my field. And it's what I love. And it's my passion. And I think it draws a lot of people to our house. What do you think, Phil? No doubt about it.

A lot of them. We have taken hospitality to a new level. It's mentioned about five times. Practice hospitality, and check this out, without grumbling. You say, why would Peter, the apostle, when he wrote that, why would he add without grumbling? Because you work and you work and you finally get a big pot of gumbo. You've worked on it all day.

It's perfect. As they're leaving, going up the road, you shouldn't be saying, I cannot believe the amount they ate. So who's next on the list? Although, who taught who to do squirrel? Did you start the squirrel? Phil's mother taught me how to do squirrel. And I'm going to tell you something. I love to eat squirrel. I know you think it's gross. But I mean, he's a good eater.

If you're starving, you'll like it. We better move along, or this is the K show right here. All right, Cy, what you got? Open yours up. What's the size, Gib?

I'm sitting down. I got a Tupperware cup with a string on it, and it's got Merry Christmas Jack. So what does a Tupperware cup mean to you, Cy? End of story.

That's all you got, boys. Didn't she send you the Tupperware cup to Vietnam? I thought that was part of the story. Well, OK. That's the better story. Hey, when you've got as many stories as I've got, it's hard to keep them straight. So look, I went to Vietnam. I was in college first with this man and two of my older brothers. OK, and see, they didn't understand.

I majored in women and minored in party. So eventually, Cy did go to Vietnam and did get Tupperware cups sent to him. Good night, everyone. Good night. Hey, it's been great seeing you.

I'm sorry about you chasing rabbits. I forgot all about Tupperware cups. Y'all got Cy track. Well, that's what we call against Cy. What do you want to do, Cy? Who's up next? All right, who's up next, Jeff? I think it's you.

Is it me? Yeah. All right, Lisa, open it up. Here we go.

All right. So this looks like a blank canvas. Blank canvas. Blank canvas. Blank canvas. So what could it possibly mean? What do you think?

I don't know, but here's what I think. I think that that Alan and I are so transparent with our lives and and with the mistakes that we've made and what. And then again, what the Lord has done in our life that, you know, we're just we're a blank canvas. And whatever he wants to put on here, wherever he wants to take us, whatever he wants to lead us into. That's where we're going, because we're so grateful for him bringing us through the tough times and the hard times. Wherever, you know, we think back to where we were as to where we are now. And and we both say the same thing.

And this took a long time to get there. The things that we have went through in our in our lives and in our marriage, we would go back through them all again. If that's the way that God has for us to be where we are today.

If we could be in the same spot, we'll do it all over again. That's how grateful we are. That's how blessed we are. And that's how much we're just so excited to do what we do today. Our partnership with the focus came about because we met Jim. And to be honest, we went out to do the radio show.

I didn't really know the setup. I've never met Jim before. And 10 minutes in his office, I knew I was like, we're going to be friends because he said it last night.

Perfection is not required. And that's what I love about Focus on the Family. Focus on the Family is focusing on sometimes the difficulties of a family and how to help people get better. And so we partnered with a book with Focus called Desperate Forgiveness. It's now one of the resource books for Focus. And we couldn't be prouder of being able to do that with Focus. So I thank you now.

That's our blank canvas. If you haven't heard that program, download it from the website or the app because it's one of the most powerful stories. It will bless you about mistakes and God's grace in the do-overs. And this couple right here magnifies it so very well. That's awesome.

Will and Cory. I hope it's miniature. Oh, that's a mini jukebox. Wow. No idea. I think they want you to sing, babe.

Yes. So, so in order to when we grew up, we were really poor. And right, Kay, we were poor. Yeah, we were poor.

Free lunch is enough. So I was always trying to hustle up money and I came up with this idea. It was called the human jukebox. And so it was not near as lucrative as the gum and candy. But what you do is you put a quarter in my armpit and then I would mechanically drop it into my pocket and you would punch on my chest and you would pick a song for me to sing for a quarter.

I mean, I had no money in it. It was just, you know, it was good money. And so I would sing. So Al has this eight track player. And so Al had all these eight tracks and I had memorized all the lyrics to these songs.

The song that everybody always wanted to hear was a song called Jukebox Hero by Foreigner. So once Duck Dynasty started, we were in L.A. I was in there talking to an agent who was going to represent us. And I look in the restaurant and I see Guy Fieri sitting at the table and I am freaking out.

And I'm like, so I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting to write the right moment when he stands up and I slid in there and I said, Guy, how you doing? I love your show. I love to eat. I love traveling.

I love everything about you, you know. And I was so excited. And this guy beside him stands up. He's this tall guy, long hair, sunglasses on, 10 o'clock at night. And I'm thinking L.A. And he goes, this is Kelly Hansen. He's a lead singer of Foreigner.

And I'm looking and I go, oh, when I was in fifth grade, I did this thing called the Human Jukebox. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Standing in the rain with his head hung low. And I'm looking at this cat and he is not smiling. He's not making any gestures. He's just staring at me.

Like, I mean, and I'm going, well, anyway, I'm a big fan. And he goes, hang on. He tilted the sunglasses down. He goes, is that when you were peeing the bed? And I thought, how does he know I peed the bed?

We ain't even wrote a book yet. I'm like, how did he know that? And then it hit me. Cy made fun of me on the TV show about peeing the bed. And I said, did you? And he goes, Willie, I've never missed an episode of Duck Dynasty. The Human Jukebox was real.

Seems like it worked. That's awesome. Jase? It's a teeny tiny house. It's a house.

Let's think. There's a lot going on in our house right now. There is a lot going on in our house. But when I look at this and I think about our house, I think about our children. And I think most of us up here have children that were not our own that became our own.

Whether on paper or just in our hearts. And so we had, I think as a little girl, I said, when I grow up, I'm going to have two boys and a girl. And I'm going to have one girl because I want a spoiler.

I remember saying that as a child. And we grew up, had two boys and a girl. And then we had another girl who was 18 who came a part of our family just a few years ago from Nicaragua. She's a total orphaned and worked her way up, got a scholarship in Germany.

Through a long story, but she basically during the unrest in Nicaragua could not get back home. And through her pastor there who knew us, called us and said, can she stay at your house for about a month before because she has a full ride scholarship to college in the USA? We said, sure, we'll let her stay in our guest room. And when she came and we found out her story, we fell in love with her. She had no family and she became ours and we became hers.

And that was four and a half years ago. So she's ours, even though it's not on paper, she's our family. And then we have a grandbaby and another one on the way.

So I consider that my kids of some sort. But then about eight months ago, the Lord dropped, literally dropped a brand new baby into our laps. And we've had him for the past eight months and we don't know what his future is.

We don't know what his story is going to be. But when I think about this house, I think about all the things that we all have done for children and for our families. This is our sanctuary and we teach our children literally on a nightly basis the Word of God, how to pray to God, singing songs to God and praises to Him. And now we're doing that all over again with someone who's not even our family because he doesn't have that for him in his life. So that's what this represents to me is a house full of love.

Good job. Yeah, he's been a blessing. I mean, look, we've realized there's a reason people in their 50s are not having kids anymore. So being honest. But you notice more now about subtleties that I took for granted when my kids were here. And, you know, it goes in the face of all these arguments in our world that these kids that, you know, they might just start to be aborted rather than come up in difficult situations. And when I see a kid like this that was born that had zero people, zero, zero family come forward and say, hey, we'll take care of him. I mean, that's just sobering in and of itself to imagine that to be born on a planet where no one wants to step up and say you're worth something. So somewhere through that, when you see him smile and look, he's never met a stranger.

He's way better a baby than any of our kids were. Come out of chaos. So it's been a blessing. And there's there's a verse in Hebrews 12 that says, you know, let's fix our eyes on Jesus and throw off the sin that so easily entangles.

We remember that. But it also says in the things that weigh us down. And I finally realized that there's a lot of things that God gives us that may be difficult and they may weigh you down. But they're actually blessings. It's just the way we're handling it is what's weighing us down. And so when you get your attitude right and realize, you know, this is this is a gift from God.

It tends to put things in to perspective. But I was just going to say, when you read the Bible in Acts 17, God does not live in buildings built by hands. You read Hebrews 3, 4, it says every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.

My point is, it's not in buildings. It's not in a house or how big it is or because our house was really small and my parents made a lot of money. And guess what?

They live in the same small house. But God is the things that is the is the one that makes things grow. And we've the reason we've stuck together and flourished through the wilderness and through success. It's because our faith and trust was in the Thursday God. We acknowledge our flaws and difficulties because let's face it, we're all flawed. We don't even act to be smart or experts on anything, but we just are who we are.

And we believe that God uses us in spite of our difficulties to make Jesus look real good. That is so, so good. Yeah.

I think it's Jeff and Jessica, right? I don't know where you're where your little gift is. There it is. I'm the quiet one, as you can tell. How did you survive in this family? Barely, to be honest with you. No, my mom spoiled you. He's the man. OK, so we got to Texas.

Yes. So we moved to Texas for a while. You want to tell the story?

I think we have breaking news here. So after the show ended, we were the babies of both families. We never went off to college.

So we were like, let's do something different. Our kids were little. We were homeschooling. And so we moved to Texas, Austin, Texas. And we had a lot of friends there. We lived there for five years.

It was great. We found a great school. We got done an awesome church to go to. It was great for our kids. And now we are two oldest, actually, at ACU.

Go to college. We love Phil. There you go. So we love ACU. So we decided, obviously, when our kids were older, like when they were graduating college or high school, going to college, we were like, we really miss family. We really want to be home. And my parents are there.

My sisters. And so we were just kind of biding our time until the kids graduated. But we're so happy because we moved back to our house on the same street as all the brothers. Amen.

That's right. So we're back with family and we're loving it. And what else do you want to say about Texas?

I love Texas. No, we had a great time. I think it was a good experience for us.

We had never lived anywhere else in our life. So it really brought us together. And we didn't have a lot of help. Like we didn't, you know, we were our own babysitters for our kids. And it was good. We learned a lot. I think we grew in the Lord. But I'm really happy to be back home with family.

And we miss you guys. All right. So you have your box there and that'll give you a chance to respond and kind of talk about this. It's a little truck.

I think it's supposed to represent the truck that you, when you drove to Monroe to tell mom you wanted your family back, how that changed your life. I did. I pulled up, you know, I'd run her off and he kicked us out. Me and the kids, you know, all these texts you read in the Bible, you know, about the love of Jesus. And he did this incredible showing up in flesh.

He dies a horrible death for idiots like me, sinful men, and guaranteed we could be raised from the dead. Start over again. Trust me when I tell you, I had that old truck I pulled up in the parking lot where she was working. And the day finally came where I said, OK, I'm done with it. I'm done with Satan.

So I got to get to make a change here. So a guy came to me. He put the gospel on me.

I didn't even know what it was. He asked me, you know, you probably be obeyed the gospel. I said, well, you talk about gospel music on the radio. The Chuck Wagon Gang, these old groups. I said, obey the God.

Why do you do that? He went on to show me. Starts with faith in Jesus's death, burial, resurrection. He came. He died. There goes my sin penalty. And the drunkenness stopped.

The cursing stopped. By one sacrifice, all your past sins removed, forgotten, gone. And on top of that, none of your future sins, because he's at the right hand of the father after he died, was buried, raised, went back, sat down, sat down at the right hand of God 24 7. You make mistakes as you follow Jesus. He's made us perfect forever. The Hebrew writer said, as we're being made holy, but we still make mistakes not counted against you.

He's made us perfect through bloodshed on a cross. When I came to that realization and boy, did life ever change for me. What a fun, wonderful conversation with the Robertson family on today's episode of Focus on the Family. And I so enjoyed hearing their stories and memories and the laughter as well. It was amazing, John. And I was touched by the way Miss Kay and the four brothers embrace Phil's daughter, Phyllis.

None of them shy away from talking about the choices that they've made, but they plainly acknowledge the way God intervened in their lives and called them into something different. And I hope you've enjoyed reminiscing with the Robertson family. Christmas is a great time to reflect on God's goodness, mercy, and love as we celebrate the birth of Christ. And I pray your Christmas will be a blessed one. And if you'd like to celebrate more with the Robertsons, particularly looking toward next year, we have Phil and Kay's terrific book, Exploring the Joy of Christmas, and we'll be happy to make that available to you when you donate to Focus on the Family today.

A gift of any amount makes a big difference, and we'll say thanks by sending the book to you. And let me remind you that Focus on the Family is here for you. We have top-notch resources to help you in your faith, your marriage, and your parenting, from online articles to videos and books, to a team of caring Christian counselors who can provide you with answers and direction.

When you order resources through Focus, the proceeds go right back into helping couples on the verge of divorce, maybe families in crisis, bewildered parents, and others who simply need a touch of hope. With Christmas just around the corner, you can share that hope as well as the healing, the peace, the grace, and the joy that Jesus Christ came to give all of us. Through your support of Focus on the Family, you can come alongside those who are struggling and give these families hope. Your support is critical to help us finish the year strong and be ready to reach even more families in 2023. And we're grateful to have you partner with us. Contribute today and request your copy of Exploring the Joy of Christmas.

All the details are in the show notes. Well, as Jim said, from all of us here at Focus on the Family, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones and plan to join us on Monday. We're going to hear from Dr. John Townsend. It's another Best of 2022 program about people fuel. Proverbs chapter 4, verse 23, Guard your heart for from it flow the well springs of life.

If I don't take care of my heart, which is my emotions and my values and my schedule and all that, then I'm not going to be able to give it to anybody else. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. Oh, hey, Mike.

Got here as soon as I could. What's going on, man? Hey, I just wanted to give you an update on my marriage. Is it good news? Yeah, our marriage is going great right now. I couldn't be happier. Dude, that's awesome.

Yeah, it's like a solid 5 out of 10. Having a marriage that's just okay isn't where couples really want to live. Give yourself and your spouse an all-inclusive weekend where you'll slow your pace and focus on each other. Get more details at focusonthefamily.com slash getaway. That's focusonthefamily.com slash getaway.